AN; This chapter gets a little dark, but there's lots of fluff too.

CHAPTER 4

BPOV

I awoke at 9am, feeling rested and calm. I reveled in the peace before making my way down to the kitchen. I decided to do a large fry up for the wolves who'd kept us safe during the night. A full dozen eggs scrambled, two full packets of bacon and a whole loaf of bread toasted. I dished up a normal plate for dad and me and divided the rest between two serving trays for Paul and Embry. I called to them through the back door. As dad and I sat down to eat two sets of heavy foot falls thudded down the hall towards us. The boys' eyes widened and they smiled gratefully "thank you so much Bells." They dug in, they were starving.

They headed back out after eating and we spent a few hours packing necessities. I decided to make some morning tea for the other boys at the Res. I used our entire supply of flour and milk and had to completely fill the oven with cinnamon buns a few times over. In the end I had two large baskets, we could probably feed the whole reservation. We headed to Sam's house; his wife Emily would be there and the pack were due to report back at 11am. We arrived in time to see six large boys arrive. I barely recognized Jake. He smiled towards us, running his hands through his short hair self-consciously. Charlie greeted him "hey kiddo, how are you holding up?" He shrugged; "I think I'm still in a state of shock" Charlie nodded. I set the baskets of food on the kitchen counter and announced "dig in guys." Emily cut in first and grabbed seven buns before the boys demolished them all. She handed one each to Charlie and I, set three aside for Sam and dug in to hers. "Thanks Bella, now they'll be out of my hair till Lunch, usually I'm nagged until I put food on the table." I smiled, grateful I could help.

I hadn't felt so included before. The Cullens bickered over what I was allowed to be told and made me feel inferior when I tried to give my input. Billy rolled into the house, smiling and rolling his eyes at the boys. He rolled hard into the boys' legs, shouting "there better be one left in there for me, kids" an arm stuck out of the throng holding a bun, handing it to Billy. Emily guided us into their small lounge room and left the boys to fight over the food. Emily pulled out a lap top "Sam mentioned you needed to use the net to email some vamps." She turned it on, opened the browser and handed it over. I smiled at her gratefully and typed in my username and password. I showed Billy and Charlie the emails, Sam wandered in to catch up. I started typing with everyone's help.

Hi Peter and Charlotte,

I'm now in contact with the pack. They have alerted dad and me to a problem with a couple of vampires. There is a female called Victoria, I believe she's hunting me in revenge for a coven mate being killed by the Cullens. She has her other coven mate after us as well, a male named Laurent. We've made a plan to lure her into a place of our choosing. Do you have any advice?

I learned that my father has been in contact with a couple of vamps over the years, am I correct in assuming you're the ones who wrote to him? The tribe and my dad are fully caught up on recent events. We've moved onto the Res for the time being.

I'm slowly healing. I see now that there were many things wrong with my relationship with Edward and the Cullens, thank you for getting the ball rolling, you've opened my eyes to a few things.

Do you know about my power? Does dad have a similar power?

~ Bella

I signed out and went to settle into the house next door to Sam and Emily's. We'd have to buy a lot of groceries to help feed the pack, but I felt so much better here. I had a purpose.

PPOV

I scanned the email. It had been one week since we'd started emailing Bella.

Hello Little Bee,

My gift is telling me that your plan is a good one and it will be successful. Char and I will help you contain the situation; we'll cut off a northern escape by heading into Canada and leaving a scent trail. This will resolve the situation quicker.

It was indeed us who contacted your father. How is Charlie? Thank you for updating them with the information, I bet it was a shock to hear your dad's experience with vampires. It's good to hear you're both with the pack. Please continue to show our correspondence to your father and the wolves, and keep us up to date with any changes. I'll be sending a package to your old address; the wolves will need to pick it up. Under no circumstances should you, Bella, leave the Res. Do not underestimate Victoria, she has a gift for getting out of danger. It's possible that instinct will over-ride her gift, this is why we're headed your way. We will not be meeting yet, it's too early.

Keep up the healing. I would like it if you could consider the pecking order within your previous coven. Focus on the role each individual plays and how their actions differ to the image they portray.

Now, concerning the Swan family gifts. Both you and Charlie have extremely powerful latent gifts. I can confirm yours is passive, but it will become active as well when you turn. There is little information at hand, my gift is being very vague at the moment. It pisses me off sometimes. Charlie must prepare for his destiny, he must start training with the Elder, Oona, as soon as tomorrow. In the very near future he will have to step down as Police Chief to fulfill his destiny. It will be safe for the time being for him to continue working, but as soon as I give the word he must remain on the Res and study with Oona.

Best of luck to you all.

Pete

Now I had to get to Jasper, it's time for another chat with the Major.

I walked to the library, he'd been there since he hunted last. I grabbed his arm and lead him to the white room. "It's time Jasper." I felt nervousness leak out of him and patted him on the back, there was no time to delay.

JPOV

It had been a week since the Major became my Pen pal. I'd had plenty of time to think, but little had been accomplished. I needed more information. I recalled his letter and thought out a reply.

[Excerpt from chapter one

Jasper,

I will not hurt you, Peter or Char. There may come a time when someone close to you will die by my hand, but by that time you'll understand why and may even take care of it yourself.

Your family is safe from me, as are you. I hope that having arranged correspondence will let you get to know yourself as well as me. You've been lost for a long time, this is the first step in finding yourself. Everything will get better.

Hopefully, our communication will open your eyes to the truth and ease your worry.

As of now I have been in control for two minutes, thirty-five seconds. Feel free to check the time difference.

I hope to hear back from you soon.

Major.

End letter]

Major,

Seeing tangible proof of another being existing within me still rattles me. I knew we fractured, but this situation is so surreal. Peter says that we will reach the point where both of us can exist at the same time and slowly join together. It sounds daunting, I wonder how many years it'll take to get to that point.

What was your experience of the fracture?

What's your first memory? My own memories are fuzzy, I can see snippets of the past, but there are holes in my memory. I'm guessing the blank spots are when you had to take over, I feel like a coward for not coping better. I wish I'd been strong enough to handle our experiences and I'm sorry you had to be the one to suffer through them. Thinking over the last week has opened my eyes a little, you're not a cold blooded monster, from what you showed me you're an individual in their own right. By being here I feel like I'm robbing you of the peace and forcing you to deal with all the bad the world has to offer.

Are we two halves of a whole? Or are we two entire souls trapped in one body?

Are you conscious where you reside in the back of our mind? Personally, my experience is like humans and their sleep, the world fades away and I'm held in stasis.

I did some reading on Dissociative Identity Disorder, it's rare among humans and I haven't heard of another vampire with the condition. The main commonality was that there would always be an alternate personality that served as a protector. I have to have faith in both of us, trust both of us. I don't understand the carnage I sometimes awoke to, but given we survived, albeit covered in extra bites and healing from more serious injuries, I'm guessing there was a need for some violence.

In my reading I encountered descriptions of alternate personality case studies, there were personalities of children, men, women, heroes, villains all existing in one body. It got me thinking, how do I identify myself? How do you identify yourself? I feel like an old war horse, battered and bruised, unable to find a place I truly belong. Peter and Char give me peace, but there's something missing, I wonder if it's you? Having this condition and an empathic gift makes me feel like I don't truly belong anywhere, but this is the closest I've ever been to content.

This is all so overwhelming.

J

I read through the letter, double checking and sighed. It was good enough. I pulled the calm from the other room where Peter and Char meditated, I moved back to the recesses of my mind.

MPOV

I basked in the calm of my siblings' emotions before calling them to me. "Welcome back Major, it's been a busy week. Our mutual friend within the Cullens has reported that Edward has left them on a mission to track the red headed nomad, Victoria. He is grossly unsuccessful and headed in the opposite direction of where our intel tells us she is. Bella has been brought into the tribe in La Push with her father. Her meeting solidified the bond between her and the pack. She advised us that the nomad Victoria is hunting her with Laurent. The wolves have injured Laurent, but Victoria continues to taunt the pack.

Bella and the elders have devised a plan, I don't know all the details, but my gift is telling me it will work. Char and I must travel to assist, we won't be in contact with her, we will just assist in trapping the nomad and her stray. I sent off a care package this morning with untraceable cell phones, money and scent away spray hunters use to hide from animals, it should reduce Bella and Charlie's scents enough to keep them hidden. Charlie should start his training with the Elder, Oona, this morning."
"So, everything is in place?"
"Yes. We're right on schedule." I dismissed them with a nod and read over the letter while they returned to the other room to meditate.

I can still feel the lingering feeling of acceptance along with nervousness from Jasper. The residue of our feelings could be a way to communicate, if he can sense my lingering sincerity and calm it could quicken the process.

Jasper,

I'm glad you've returned my letter. We are definitely in a predicament, aren't we? I've noticed I can feel the residual effect of your emotions, perhaps you can feel mine? Our healing will happen sooner than you think, but we must keep working. It is time for us to live, not just survive.

I remember the fracture clearly, it's my first memory as the person I am today. There are unfamiliar memories from before the fracture, they're fuzzy like our human memories. Did you feel the pain of the split as well? From what I remember we had been turned a month previous, there were several experiences that lead to the split, but the final straw was physical pain. We'd been starved, beaten, scarred, used and manipulated. We lived in hell all the while our gift strengthened, it added to the torture.

We were in the middle of a particularly nasty battle when the break happened. My first clear memory was the pain of our mind splitting, it over flowed through me and flowed across the battle field incapacitating everyone and everything. Being a newborn I reacted instinctively; biting, ripping, burning anything that moved. When the foreign emotions dwindled with each true death my consciousness returned. I remember shaking with fear and I followed our scent back to camp. My hackles rose upon seeing the handful of newborns guarding the camp, the smell of old blood and rotting humans confirmed it, we were in hell.

Maria appeared to me then, she was angry. I had not only slaughtered the enemy army, but her own. I was punished severely for it, then 'rewarded.' I was disgusted with myself, ashamed and felt so helpless, but I made a decision; if I was going to live in hell I'd fucking well survive. Survive, we did. Don't feel guilty, you did what you had to survive. We both share painful memories, but we are strong enough to heal and confront what we couldn't handle previously.

I believe we are two halves of a whole, but after what we went through the split was necessary to become stronger. When we combine we will reach a level of skill and experience that few will be able to defeat. We are one soul, broken and damaged, but the scar tissue has formed, we're close. One advantage to our condition is one you pointed out, we get to slip in to unconsciousness, to give our damaged psyche respite. We do not dream, but being able to switch off the Jasper part and the Major part of our mind allows it respite from the troubles we face. In some ways we're both protectors, I protect our physical form while you protect our humanity.

Well, my old war horse, I'd guess I see myself as the younger, battle hardened warrior. Constantly alert when inhabiting our body; calculating every defense and escape. I feel emotions like you do, but my own are stifled. That's where you come in; you suffer the emotions and feel most of ours, you work through them while they distract and cloud our mind. You're stronger than you think, you identify yourself as an old war horse, but I think you're stuck in a cyclone of emotions and they make a mess of your own, you struggle to survive emotionally, unable to see yourself through the damage. Put aside the pain for the moment and concentrate on the emotions around you. Peter and Char understand us better than you could imagine. They're stable despite the horror they've lived through, if anything it's shown them to appreciate peace when you can get it.

Before we next converse I want you to consider your ex coven objectively. Ask Peter and Char to show you how to meditate, focus on the peace and think of each of the Cullens. How do their words compare with their actions? How do their emotions fluctuate when they talk? This should help you focus and work through the manipulations.

M

I walked out to speak to Peter and Char. "Teach Jasper to meditate before you leave."
"You gave him homework?" Peter smirked. "Yes, he needs to work out the truth. It's the only way to break through the emotional fog. He's in pain and his insecurities, molded by the Cullens, are stopping him from truly accepting himself." Peter nodded, "I have Bella working through the same exercise. I think when they reach their epiphanies it'll be time to mail the letters between you and Jasper to her." "When do you leave for Canada?"
"We leave at dusk, the sun sets at six pm and we'll arrive in plenty of time."
"Before you leave make sure Jasper understands he needs to keep in contact with me while you're gone."
"Yes, Major. I'll see you again soon." I returned the room and concentrated on my own emotions, amplifying them as much as I could. Hopefully Jasper would feel them when he returned. I slipped back into our mind.

JPOV

My consciousness came back, I glanced at my watch. What felt like the blink of an eye was almost five minutes. I started to read the letter, but paused at the first paragraph. He could feel my lingering emotional signature? I focused my mind away from the emotional signature of Peter and Char and concentrated on the emotions I could feel from my body. My own emotions were calm, but there was a faint undertone. I pushed my senses towards it, there was the taste of something different. It wasn't my emotional signature, but another's. It hinted at sincerity and tranquility, but it tasted different. The Major had been calm, that in itself was odd. My experience of him had been so violent I was stumped by the positive emotions. My own emotions changed, there was a flicker of trust and acceptance added to my general bewilderment.

I paused, concentrating on the Major's emotions, worried they'd fade into obscurity. This was the proof I didn't realize I needed. He definitely wasn't an uncontrollable monster. I thought back to the first letter, there was warmth to his words. He hadn't hurt Peter or Char while released, he had showed me more about himself. The flicker of trust and acceptance grew and relief coursed through me. My mind had caught up with the facts I'd been presented. Peter was right, he wasn't who I thought he was, I was beginning to understand that he was part of me just as I was part of him. The Major's sincerity and calm faded, but I knew he had been here.

I read through more of the letter, pausing as I remembered the pain of the split, the memory was fresh in my mind. I thought back to my memories from before the fracture. They were clear, but there was some static...no, not static...it was an echo. For a moment I was overwhelmed and I screamed with grief, gasping. The rage, the hunger, the pain, the panic. I remembered it, felt it and I sobbed for what I'd lost. I'd lost part of myself and that part had suffered. Both halves of us suffered so fucking much. Char's arms came around me, her whispered words breaking through the grief "you'll be together again, you'll be free. You're safe." Her emotions held love and pride. "Why are you proud?" I choked out, "because my brother is healing. You're confronting the pain and releasing it. You're no longer afraid." She held me and waited as I calmed.

"How do you feel, Jasper?" Char asked with some concern, I tuned into my emotions. Lighter, different. "I don't know" I admitted breathlessly, I was changing and I felt stronger. She led me out of the house and I caught sight of Peter, his was breathing heavily. His emotions were scrambled, and I couldn't make them out. Their overall vibe was positive. Char left us and ran into the woods, I put my arm over Pete's shoulder. He smiled, venom glazing his eyes. Pulling back, he searched my face, lingering on my eyes. Whatever he was looking for he found and smirked. "Well done, Brother." Char returned, pulling a buck towards us by the antlers and leading him to me.

I didn't feel any blood lust, but I was exhausted. I didn't let the hunting instinct take over me, I needed to stay aware for a little longer. I bit down on the buck's neck and savored the bitter taste of its blood. I had never fed so passively before. Char took away the carcass and Peter sat next to me. "We need to teach you to meditate. Do you feel up to it?"
"Sure." I shrugged. I felt better, my mind was clearer, I felt so relaxed after the outburst of grief. Peter continued "I can't think of a better time to teach you, Jasper, you've purged and cleared your mind."

The bedroom next to the white room was filled with cushions of different sizes. The walls were lined with material of different colours; shades of blue, green and yellow. We sat in a circle. Charlotte started "lay back against the cushions and get comfortable." She spoke slowly, hypnotically.

"Slow your breathing, inhale slowly for five seconds and exhale for five seconds." The air tasted different, scents of magnolia and Daphne swirled around, it reminded me of home. "Keep your breathing slow and start focusing on your body. Start at your toes, relax the muscles. Release the tension in your calves, your thighs, your stomach, your chest, your arms, your fingers then your neck. Feel yourself sinking into the floor. Focus on the physical sensations of your body and the smell of the air as you breathe." Her voice grew quieter as she spoke, she was barely audible as she ceased talking, but I didn't need to strain to hear her. "Relax your hold over your emotions, let them move through you."

I was floating and sinking at the same time, content and calm flowed through me and around the room, Pete and Char's love diffused with the tranquility. Each of my senses basked in the heavenly stimuli around me. The room disappeared and I was surrounded by blues and greens. I had never felt this way before.

Char's voice gently joined the peace, "you're safe, you're calm, you're happy." She whispered the words, her voice grew stronger with each chant, gently pulling me out of my trance. "Start curling your toes, move them back and forward. Move your feet around, feel the movement in your ankles and the muscles contract and release with each movement, tense and relax the muscles in your thighs then tense and relax your stomach muscles. Breathe in for three seconds then exhale for three seconds, move your shoulders in a circular motion, tense and relax the muscles in your bicep then tense and relax the muscles in your forearms. Curl your fingers into a fist and then lay your hand flat, stretching out your fingers. Return your breathing to normal. Look towards the yellow silk, let your mind focus on it. Feel the heaviness in your body release. Let your eyes move around the room, take in the details. When you're ready sit up slowly."

I sat up and looked towards Peter and Charlotte. Their pupils were dilated, their eyelids heavy, their smiles relaxed. Peter giggled "I think we're stoned." Char and I giggled along with him. We stood slowly and walked towards the door, our movements sluggish. We went to the porch and sat, gazing out towards the sunset. Peter broke the silence "we have to leave for a few days, Jasper. Char and I have errands to take care of." I nodded. "You need to continue writing with the Major when we leave." I remembered the letter I needed to finish reading. "You should also spend some time meditating. There's a CD set up in the room, it will guide you. Char recorded our session so you should be able to recreate the atmosphere."
"How long did we meditate?"
"Two hours." I was surprised, time felt so different. Both slow and fast. Char stood up "it's time for Pete and me to leave, keep going with your healing. We'll see you soon." I hugged them both and watched their figures disappear into the horizon. When they were out of my line of sight I went back up to the white room. I had a letter to read.

BPOV

Jake had woken us up with a knock on the door. He was carrying a package and grimacing. I looked towards him with curiosity and I gestured for him to come into the living room. "It stinks" he set down the package on the coffee table, glad to have some distance from it. "Thanks Jake. I'm going to start breakfast, you hungry?" His eyes lit up and I started making a huge batch of pancakes. Charlie stumbled into the kitchen once the first pancake was put on the serving tray. He filled the coffee pot and switched it on. He held up a cup sleepily, Jake and I nodded. Charlie grabbed two more mugs out of the cabinet and got the milk and sugar ready for the coffee.

While the coffee was percolating and the pancakes were cooking Charlie moved to the couch and started opening the package Jake had delivered. Jake shuddered, I guess the smell of vampire was stronger now. Charlie pulled out a couple of small white boxes, a plastic spray bottle and a medium sized zip up bag. He found a letter at the bottom and quickly scanned it, his eyes losing their sleepiness and his mouth opening in surprise. He walked over and handed it to me as I lifted a cooked pancake from the pan and added more batter. Charlie poured the coffee as I read it.

Hello Charlie,

I hope these come in handy, there are two untraceable smart phones, both with our numbers programmed into them and any accessories you may need. Keep these with you and Bella at all times and make sure their charged. We will be close by, contact us if there's an emergency.

The Scent Off spray should come in handy for the final showdown with Victoria. Wear the clothes you have on now until Tuesday morning and do not shower. Charlie, you need to keep wearing your clothes under your uniform when you work. It's going to be unpleasant wearing the same thing for over a week, but it is vital your scent is strong. Have minimal physical interaction with the wolves to limit their scent from you. Next Tuesday night have one of the non-wolf boys lead you both to the site of the battle. Bring a pair of clean clothes and change into them on the spot. Leave your scent saturated clothing there. You can shower and change into clean clothes when you return. On Wednesday morning you'll need to spray yourself, Bella and the wolves with Scent off.

This will be your final week at work. My gift tells me Bella has been considering dropping out of school, let her. It will be easier for her to focus with Emily and she'll have time to finish school later. In the black bag you will find money. You and Bella will need it if you wish to feed the wolves and it will give you one less worry. Your focus should be on your new tribe. Good luck with Oona today, you have a lot to learn.

Give our regards to your furry friends.

Best of luck,

Peter & Charlotte.

Charlie opened the bag with the money in it. Jake let out a low whistle. I put the last of the batter in the pan and started dishing up the pancakes. "There's $30,000 here Bells..." Dad choked out. "Holy shit!" I knew this would cover our living expenses and more. We could use the money to feed the wolves and their families. Their food bills would be astronomical, we can save them so much money. I looked at dad, I could see he was thinking the same thing.

There was a knock at the door, Emily was here to take us to meet Oona.