FOLLOW YOUR ARROW
.
It took Itachi awhile to finally reach the bar where Kisame and the Doctor were stranded. This was due to a number of things, the first of which being that he had to practically tie Hidan down to get the hyperactive man to stay put in the house.
Unfortunatly, after their conversation about Kisame, his roommate had decided to mysteriously dissapear. When Itachi searched his few belongings to find what little winter gear he had missing, and then looked out the window to see fresh footprints headed away from the complex, he'd reasoned with himself that for whatever reason their conversation had upset his friend. Hidan liked to physically express his anger and frustration, if that wasn't already glaringly obvious. But being cooped up in the house with Itachi, who was rather hard to win any sort of arguement against, the albino had taken to going on jogs to relieve his own tension. Judging by the distance between the footprints, this is what he assumed the man to be doing.
Just to make absolute sure he'd sent the man a text instructing him to be careful and not to get lost forever in the snow. Hidan had replied with his usual "HahahahaGOFUCKYOURSELF." And so the Uchiha had not concerned himself with it any further.
After that he'd attempted to get a hold of his little brother. The mention of him in the conversation he had with his roommate had him suddenly wondering how the kid was doing, since he hadn't spoken to him since he'd had his early graduation of college.
But his sibling had apparently changed his number and neglected to tell him. This bothered him, but didn't at the same time. All of his family had packed up and moved soon after he'd been 'banished' by his father. Sasuke had begun pulling terrible grades, and after his parents found out about this and no doubt made him feel a worm for it, he'd started skipping out on school days completley, hanging out with a bad crowd, and all of it of course had been blamed solely on the older son. He had no doubt that they'd filled Sasuke's head with exaggerations and lies about him, given the things his own father had said.
"You were the perfect son, Itachi, until you went and decided to quiere yourself. You've shamed us all and ruined your brother."
And people wondered why he'd taken an interest in psycology. Why pay for therapy when you could just practice it on yourself?
At a loss for anything else to do, he'd gone to the store to pick up a couple things to make for tomorrows meals. (Hidan was a picky eater on the occasions when he actually did eat. 'Picky' being a softer word than saying the man was a glutton for anything garunteed to bring heart attacks and clogged arteries.) And just as he'd been walking out of the store the idiot had called him asking for a ride back to the apartment because he was 's-s-so cold he c-c-couldn't feel his f-f-fuckin' dick.'
When he finally made it home it was half past ten, and he'd started getting ready for bed when he heard the sound of glasses clinking against each other. He'd rushed into the livingroom to find Hidan, cheeks and nose still stained red from the cold and still shivering, pouring himself a shotglass of Parrot Bay*.
"What the hell are you doing!?" He yelled, storming over to yank the bottle away. "You can't have alchohol with all your medications you idiot, you'll destroy your liver and kill yourself!"
Hidan had only growled and snatched the bottle back, holding it against his chest protectively like a baby.
"I'm not getting shitfaced! It's saturday fucking night, I can't get warm, and I haven't had one sip of alchohol in two months! I just want a little bit! Have a fucking heart Uchiha!"
"Hidan it's dangerous. You agree'd to giving up alchohol so you can keep up with your medication."
"I don't caaare. God Itachi, you're such bitch."
"Such bitch... Oh my God Hida, are you drunk right now!?"
Hidan shrugged and went to grab the shotglass. Itachi snatched it first, rounded the counter and ripped the bottle from the pale hands.
"What the hell is wrong with you!? I can't believe you'd do something so stupid! How much have you had!?" He shouted over his roommates protests, yanking open the door to the balcony and throwing both items as far as he could. The sound of glass shattering sent his friend into a frenzy.
"YOU MOTHERFUCKER!" He roared running out as if to chase after it. Itachi grabbed him by the back of his shirt and heaved, dragging his stumbling friend back into the apartment and sending him toppling to the floor.
"I could strangle you sometimes you know!?" He shouted as Hidan jumped to his feet, teeth bared like an animal.
"Well maybe you should just let me fucking die then you fucking Nazi! What fucking good am I anyway?"
"What the hell are you talking about? Where is this coming from!?"
"You! You and your stupid hissy fit earlier! 'Oh Hidaaan, Kisame won't talk to me! I'm gonna be alone the rest of my life! I fucked up my relationship what am I gonna do!?'"
"I never said any of that!"
"You didn't have to! I'm not fucking stupid I can read between the lines."
Itachi clenched his fists and grit his teeth, trying to contain his anger with deep breaths in through his nose, and out his mouth.
Calm down, Itachi. Hidan is drunk, his prescriptions are making him delirious, his brain isn't functioning properly...
"Hidan, why did you drink?"
"I already told you you fucking dumbass."
"Fine it's my fault. But why would my problems make you feel the need to do that?"
"Because they're fuckin' stupid!"
"Everyone has issues with one thing or the other. There's no scale."
"Yes there is! If there wasn't then I wouldn't be crazy!"
"YOU'RE NOT CRAZY!" Itachi shouted back suddenly, making the albino stumble backward again. The Uchiha dropped to his knees to sit in front of the man, grabbing his stunned face with both hands.
"Hidan you are not crazy. You have to realize that this isn't you talking right now. These are your demons, fight through them Hida. Come back to me. I can't help you when you're belligerant like this."
The pale man slapped away his hands and scooted backward. "Stop using your fucking mind tricks on me! I'm not one of your goddamn playthings, bastard."
Itachi sighed heavily, stareing sadly into his dear friends's pigment-free eyes. "Please Hidan. Just tell me how much you had and I'll leave you alone. You could be in danger."
"Maybe I want to be in danger."
"Oh yes, you certianly want to die don't you? That's why you're here with me and not six feet under. Stop being dramatic and tell me!"
"I'm not being dramatic! I'm trying to fucking talk to you! If you'd stop being all bitchy and screeching at me for a damn second!"
Itachi stared at him for a moment, then quickly rearranged himself so he was sitting with his legs crossed, elbows perched on his knees, chin propped up by his fists. "Okay, good! That's fine too. Talk to me. Why did you do this?"
Hidan looked back him reluctantly, still half-way sprawled on the floor.
"I felt... bad."
"Why did you feel bad?"
Hidan ran a hand through his hair and assumed the same position, eyes cast into the carpet as he tried to sort his thoughts.
"I don't know... we were talking about the old days. And I started missing them, you know. Back in highschool, us four friends, it was the best time of my life. I actually felt happy, you know, wanted, like I really did matter..."
Itachi listened carefully, not just to his words but to his voice. The albino wasn't slurring, and seemed perfectly cohearant.
His brows furrowed just a bit in irritation, though it came off just as concern. The Uchiha had the sneaking suspicion Hidan was still sober, making Itachi think he was drunk just as an excuse to sit down and talk out his feelings.
Damn that idiot, he was so afraid of admitting weakness in himself that he had to piss everyone off and make the situation worse, pretend he was inebriated, just to be reminded that at least one person in this world still cared for him.
Itachi withheld a sigh... the poor, confused man.
"It was too fucking cold to run more than a block, so I stopped in over at the library, and for some reason I got this idea to look up Nagato and Yahiko and see how they were doing. All I had to do was tell the librarian that I was close friends with you and she let me on the computers without one of those dumb cards. Everyone still fuckin' knows the Uchiha name, it's rediculous."
He paused for a moment, and Itachi swallowed heavily, heart sinking a little as he slowly caught on to where this was headed. He had kept up with his other highschool buds throughout the years, though as each month passed they'd grown more and more distant, pulled away by the ever-increasing demands of their lifestyle. The two brothers had become inventors towards technologically advanced items aimed toward causing peace instead and just helping the human race in general.
"They're both Co-CEO's 'Tachi! You know that company that develops modifications for weapons that automates them so they won't injure enough to cause death? Yeah, they OWN that shit. They pretty much invented virtual reality, and they fucking design robotic prosthetics too! They're both fucking rich geniouses, both married and have kids. They're only a year older than me!"
"Hidan you can't compare-"
"And you. Look at you. Went to college, got a degree. Got this kickass bachelor pad, a job helping people cope with their shit problems that probably don't even amount to hit against your own. You're like a goddamn saint! And now you're even gonna fuckin' fall in love with that scarred-up mer-man, and where the fuck am I?"
"Hida..."
"I'm still so fucking young Itachi, but I feel so goddamn old... I know there's time to do shit with my life but I don't know what to do. . I'm not good at anything. Everytime I make a step toward getting rid of this shit in my head, it tricks me into fucking it up. Every day feels like a fucking year, Just getting through one is all I can do just to function like a normal person and I couldn't even do that if you and Dr. Satan weren't helping me. I've only been here 22 years but God... I feel like there's nothing left..."
Itachi didn't attempt to speak this time until a few seconds had passed without the pale man starting up again. When he only continued to stare distantly at the carpet the younger roommate reached out to lay a hand on Hidan's knee.
"They're lies Hidan. You are still young, you have so much time to figure this out. And don't worry about what other people are doing with their lives. The ones that really matter will always be a part of yours, and that's all you need to worry about, your own life."
Hidan looked at him, features unreadable. "That weird dude you make me go see with the pineapple hair told me me that the thing with dementia and depression is that they both take very small truths about ourselves that we don't like and magnify them in our minds."
"That's correct.."
"So that means they're not lies, 'Tachi. That means I really am fucked to eternity. There's no hope for my stupid ass..."
"No, Hidan, you held onto the wrong part of what Dr. Nara was explaining to you. The fact of the matter is that yes, there is very little truth in these thoughts you bog yourself down with, but that's the whole thing of it. They're just insignificant little details about who you are. Some of them aren't even negative, you've only tricked yourself into believing them as such. No one is perfect, each and every person on this earth has those little ugly truths, you simply can't let yourself focus on them so much." He paused for a second to study the pale man as he seemed to consider all this. "But I'm impressed with you for actually paying attention to him. That shows improvement! You wouldn't even look at him before!"
"Tch... I still think they should just let you be my fucking shrink. He tries to be all fucking philosophical and mysterious and shit, pisses me off."
"You know why they can't allow that."
"Yeah, yeah, cause we live together. I still don't fucking understand how that makes sense. You actually know me, you explain shit in actual words I can understand."
"There are a lot of legalities and different ways of considering it. I agree with you, personally. But it's not as if I can argue, they pay my bills, after all."
Hidan was silent now, and Itachi stood back up to his feet. He held out a hand to help up his friend, who actually accepted the help.
Itachi was rather troubled by something though, Hidan often had little episodes like this that Itachi had to help him through, but this was the first time since he'd been here that he'd tried to do anything so drastic as get himself drunk without a the slightest hint to the Uchiha that he was feeling the way he was. As much as he resisted, Itachi believed whole-heartedly that the man wanted to help himself out of this, and on most occasions he at least gave warning when he was feeling low.
The episode on friday and now this one had come out of the blue, and happened so close to each other... it was concerning. Maybe this job was a little too much for him to handle.
"It is true though..." Hidan said softly, breaking him from his thoughts. "What's there to look forward to? I mean... this shit ain't ever going away. Even if I manage it for the rest of my life, even if I hold down a job, what else is there?"
Coal-esque eyes studied him sadly. He was right, undeniabley. But wrong st the same time.
"There's plenty else Hida. You're only limited to what you limit yourself to."
"See, that dumb fucker says that all the time too! What the fucking hell does that even mean!?" Hidan snorted back, bringing a smile to his roommates lips.
At least he was feeling better.
"You know what I think you need, Mister San? Some hobbies. You say you're not good at anything but you've never really tried anything but partying. You don't just magically figure out your talents, you have to explore and see what you enjoy doing."
Hidans face contorted in disgust at this. "Oh God. If you ever call me that again I'll have to kill you."
"I'll make a note of that." He laughed in reply. "But I wouldn't go around saying that to those with looser might mark you down as homicidal." He gave Hidan a pat on the shoulder and turned to make his way back to the bathroom to continue what he was doing previously.
Good God that man was exhausting.
"Itachi."
"Hn?"
"I didn't actually drink any of that stuff..."
"I know."
"I just found the bottle in a dumpster and washed it out and filled it with water to piss you off."
Itachi stopped to poke his head out of the bathroom, finding his roommate barely concealing laughter behind a huge grin. He almost got upset again, but then let it go. Just like every other stupid thing the albino did, it had just been some rediculous means to solve a problem. In this case, getting Itachi to sit and talk seriously with him. God forbid the man-child ever just state out loud that he wants to talk out his feelings.
"You... are absoloutely rediculous." He sighed, then returning to his task.
Hidan only laughed in response.
That fiasco had pretty well drained the poor Uchiha completley, and by the time he finally lay down in bed, it was midnight, and he found that he wasn't tired, despite all that had gone on today. (Which actually wasn't all that much when you thought about it.)
As a therapist, he liked to practice his own preachings, and something that he often explained to his clients who had trouble sleeping is that the common theory most people had about staying in bed even if you couldn't sleep, was false. Some people liked to read, other's liked to watch T.v. until they were tired, but he knew that these things actually hindered the process. They key to falling asleep easily is to program your brain to realize that bed equals sleep. Not reading or television or whatever manner of time-passing.
And with this being the case, he threw off the sheets after half an hour of simply laying there staring at the ceiling, and made his way silently back to the livingroom.
He was graced immediatly with the smell of coffee, whih elicited an eye-roll from him as he emerged into the room to find his roommate snuggled up in a blanket, watching some zombie flick and sipping on a mug of coffee as if nothing at all of interest had just happened.
"Oh Hidan..." he sighed softly, so the albino would not hear him. For as much heartache as he had, and as hopeless as his world seemed to him, he could bounce back from anything.
He snuck past him to grab a book from the bookcase, and tiptoed up behind his roommate, making a face as he watched a fat man have his intestines ripped from his body by a group of reanimated, rotting, corpses.
His nose crinkled in disgust, and he turned his attention instead down to watch Hidan take a big gulp from his mug.
"You shouldn't be drinking coffee in the middle of night." He finally said, though only the first few words were heard by the blanket-swaddled man in front of him, seeing as he jumped terribley with a dog-like yelp, successfully throwing the hot beverage all over himself and then shouting out a string of swears from the pain of that.
Itachi didn't even try to resist his laughter.
After he was throughly chided for his little prank he settled himself down on the second loveseat and read his book in silence. It wasn't until his phone suddenly rang, (which provoked another hilarious reaction from Hidan, who then ran to the bathroom for fear of 'pissing himself'.) that he realized it was now just short of 2 in the morning. He almost got upset at this, however, when his eyes alighted on the caller I.D. his heart gave a hopeful leap and his body joined in by jumping up from his seat as he quickly flipped the phone open.
"Kisame!?" He said excitedly, only to hear someone shout a swear, some crackleing, and then a deeper voice hollaring in return.
"Are you there?" He said, making a face as he called into the phone.
Still silence. "Hello? Kisa?"
"False alarm..." Hidan said, sauntering back into the room, pausing when he noticed Itachi on the phone. "Who the fuck's calling you this late?" He mumbled, heading back to where he'd been sitting.
"...Dr. Hoku?" Itachi questioned into the receiver.
Hidan suddenly scrambled over to him at this, nearly climbing on top of him to hear the conversation.
"Oh... I see. Is he alright?" Itachi questioned, pushing Hidan away. The albino's face screwed up in confusion when his roommate turned to him with a devious smile, putting his fingers to his lips, instructing silence. "I see. Well, Doctor, I hate to tell you this but the taxi's do not run after midnight."
"What the fuck does he want!?" Hidan finally blurted.
"Shh. I'm on the phone." Itachi snapped back, still wearing a smile. This was perfect, he thought, perhaps a little bit late, but a perfect oppurtunity to do some meddling none-the-less. He could tell the Doctor was drunk, only for the fact that he'd just said two words that Kisame had informed him in one of his tangents were never, ever, said by a sober Kakuzu Hoku. If he and Kisame were both inebriated and needing a ride... well... he certainly couldn't just let them call a cab when he had a perfectly working car, and, by sheer coincidence, happened to be up late.
Nope, this chance certianly couldn't be passed by.
The second obstacle Itachi had to overcome after literally locking Hidan in his temporary bedroom was trying to drive in the terrible weather conditions. The snow had started falling very lightly at first when he went out to let his car warm up and scrape the ice that had built up over the hours off his windsheild. By the time he snuck back inside to remove the chair from the door Hidan was stuck behind, and went back outside, it was falling so heavily that it was almost like a fog, blocking his view of the road in front of him past 10 feet beyond the edge of the vehicle.
He hadn't really planned on this happening, but it didn't deterr his plans at all. In fact it aided them all the more. Hidan needed hobbies, and though he hadn't said it out loud, was somewhat lonley in the romantic sense. Being the complex individual that he was, and knowing him the way Itachi did, he was well aware, even if Hidan, himself, wasn't, of the fact that he had a child-like sort of affection for his boss.
The two did work together, and thusly would be spending vast amounts of time together. Really, Itachi didn't think much meddling was needed, but judging by the two men's personalities and their tendencies to deny themselves things they were embarrased for wanting, at least a small bid of meddling was called for.
It would require slightly drastic measures, but this phonecall was a sign he simply could not ignore.
When he finally, finally pulled into the parking lot, he spotted Kisame's car right away, and right next to it, leaning against what he assumed to be the Doctors car, were the two snow-covered older men.
He rolled his eyes as he pulled up next to them and leaned over to open the passenger door. Why the hell had they waited out in the cold?
-o-
Kakuzu saw the car pull in, feeling his gut clench in reluctance.
He really, really did not want to have to get in that car and sit there awkwardly while the two 'love-birds' had their little chat.
Damn this entire night...
"That's him..." Kisame sighed, looking like a scared little kid as he shivered in his puffy black coat.
"Good. We're five minutes away from Hypothermia and Pneumonia..."
"You know it's weird. I'm shivering my ass off over here but I'm not really cold."
"That would be the hypothermia you dult."
"Oh... I thought it was the beer."
"Probably a mixture of both. " He said, sighing as well. "Please don't start blubbering at him when we get in that car, Kisame. This is painful enough without your drunken idiocy."
"Nahhh, I feel fine. Numb, but I'm good. Thanks for setting me straight man."
"Shut up and get in the car..." He growled as their ride pulled up next to them and opened the door. Kisame of course got in the front passenger seat, and Kakuzu got in the back after hesitating to consider just walking his ass home.
No, enduring this would be far better than dealing with whatever hangover he would have in the morning as well as a raging cold or whatever else in life this bad luck streak would send his way.
"Why on earth were you waiting out in the snow? You'll both catch your death in this weather." The Uchiha said immediatly.
"It was better than inhaling the pure carbon monoxide that the air inside that place has been reduced to." Kakuzu growled when his friend only shrugged.
"That's true. I'll never understand what the appeal of those places are. Not meaning to degrade either of you, of course. Just my opinion."
"That's very well and good, can we get this over with?" He ground out again as the vehicle pulled slowly back out onto the street.
"Absoloutely. I do still need your address though, Doctor."
He grit his teeth at this. It was a reasonable question, as well as neccessary, but he didn't like giving his address out freely to anyone not close to him. It's not as if it were so hard to find out where he lived in such a moderatley small town, but still. Call it a pet peeve, if you will...
"On the corner of 13th and Glenn.." He said slowly.
"Oh wow. I'm glad you let me take you then, would've been quite a trek in such cold."
"Itachi... you know the taxi service is open all night on weekends." Kisame suddenly spoke up.
"Is it really?" The Uchiha questioned, just a bit too dramatically for Kakuzu's liking... He narrowed his eyes in suspicion, but then shook his head, and pushed it from his mind. The boy probably just wanted some excuse to talk to Kisame.
"Yeah, remember, I had the day off a few months back when they had the conference to pass the bill. I visited you at work."
"Oh... I must've not paid attention..."
And then it came, the heavy awkward silence. Kakuzu continued to grind his teeth, arms crossed tightly in the back seat as he stared out the window. They couldn't be going more than 10 mph, and though the Uchiha was prefectly right to do so, he couldn't help but be pissed off by this. Damn weather... Damn alchohol...
Damn everything.
"Uh... I'm sorry for ignoring you all day." Kisame finally said, making the older man whoosh out a breath in relief. The man's inane tendancy to babble when he was nervous was much preffered to the blasted silence.
"That's okay, Kisame. I understand. I should be the one apologizing, I had no right-"
"It's okay. I think we should maybe wait until poor Kakuzu gets home before we start talking about it... I already ruined his night."
"First intelligent thing you've said all evening." He mumbled from the back seat.
Itachi let out a chuckle at this. "Yes, Doctor. You've had a poor time these last couple days haven't you?"
"You have no idea..."
"Well if Kisame hasn't already I want to thank you for putting up with it. Our personal problems are not yours, and I know from experience how exhausting Hidan can be. You're a good man, Dr. Hoku, for doing what you've done."
This caught the eldest of the three completley by surprise. Kisame too, seemed to be a little shocked at the statement.
Not in his life had he ever received such a compliment. Only ever insults to his personality, or jokes about his age or his love of cold, hard, cash and abhorrance of anything else.
That being the case, he really didn't know what to come back at the boy him with. "I appreciate the gesture..." his voice said without his approval. He cleared his throat and shifted in his seat, not noticing Itachi giving him a mischecious grin in the rearview mirror.
"I don't do it out of kindness. Only because I'm faced with no other choice."
"Oh, you always have a choice, Doctor. Don't sell yourself short. You have the rare ability to think things through before acting. You don't find that too often anymore."
Kakuzu snorted. "If this is some attempt at flattery, boy, you're wasting your time."
"Not at all. I was only trying to give credit where it is due. I've nothing to gain with flattery."
Kakuzu growled low in his throat and shifted back to continue surveying the world outside his window. The snow was falling rediculously heavy now. Not in a gusting, miserable way, but just falling down heavily in large flakes, coating the snow already on the ground, as well as the road, with a fresh new layer. It would be rather peaceful, and he might have enjoyed the scene, had he not been forced into this uncomfortable situation.
Surely things couldn't get much worse...
There was another long silence, though this one not so heavy and awkward. And he was distressed to find that it was suddenly difficult to keep his eyes open, now that the cold had sobered him somewhat and the heat of the vehicle had seeped past his layers of clothing and settled into him. It certianly didn't help that it was so incredibley late.
"Itachi, I think you're in the middle of the road..." Kisame slurred, obviously feeling the same effects. The older man blinked out of his near-slumber to shift his attention to the front of the car. The snow was practically pouring.
"I can't see where the damn lines are..." The youngest mumbled back, leaning forward in his seat.
"You're definitely in the middle of the road. That trucks headed straight for us."
The younger man started to turn the wheel, when suddenly the front of the car hit something solid with a loud crack and bounced.
"Shit." The Uchiha snarled, and Kakuzu's stomache tightened yet again as he watched, nearly in slow motion, the man jerk the wheel back into the other lane much too hastily in his attempt to regain control.
Kisame let out a gasp and reached for the wheel to straighted it out as the car lurched to the left, and started into a slide. "DON'T SLAM ON THE BRAKES YOU'LL JUST-"
The backside of the vehicle suddenly swung, and the two men up front simulateously cursed out loud as it slid at an angle perpendicular to the road. It came to a jolting stop that would have knocked all three of them out of their seats had they not all braced themselves as it slammed into a snowback on the opposite side of the road.
The three men sat in stunned silence before Itachi leaned his head forward onto the steering wheel, sighing deeply.
"What the hell!?" Kisame said, "Dude you had plenty of time to go back to the other lane, why'd you gun it like that?"
"I tried to do that, did you not feel the giant chunk of ice we ran over? It made me overcorrect."
"There was so not any ice, I saw the whole thing."
"Then what the hell did we hit!?"
"I don't know but I'm not so drunk that I can't fucking-"
"Would you please... hush for a moment." Itachi growled at first, then saying the last much more gently. He moved the gear-shifter into reverse and attempted to back out of the spot they were lodged in. The tires spun in place, there was a clacking sound coming from the tire in front of Kisame, and the car didn't move.
Kakuzu was in the back seat, covering his face with a hand and shaking his head. He was so furious that he couldn't even be mad. In fact he was trying desperatley to hold back a chuckle of insanity.
The car still didn't move, unsurprisingly, no matter how hard the Uchiha up front stomped on the pedal and growled under his breath.
"This is why front-wheel drive is pointless..." Kisame said, opening his door and moving to assess the damage.
Itachi sat in silence behind the wheel, gripping it tightly but letting his head fall forward onto the steering wheel, ebony hair falling to cover his face.
"This is humiliating... I'm sorry Doctor, I'm so embarrassed." Itachi mumbled,
"You should be." Kakuzu growled, quickly making his escape from the vehicle as well.
This was rediculous, this was beyond rediculous. There was no possible way this scenario had just happened. Bad luck, he could believe, he probably did have some nasty karma built up...
But this? REALLY?
He trudged through the thick snow buildup on the side of the road to stand next to his friend, studying the front of the car with one hand on this chin and the other wrapped around himself.
"I don't think it's gonna come outta there. Look at all the ice under the snow. We'll never get enough traction."
The elder man looked at the areas his friend pointed to, then out to the road. At the very least they appeared to be against the curb, though the back end of the vehicle was slightly in the way of other drivers.
"Just have him put his hazard lights on, surely someone will come along with means to help us out." He finally replied, as Itachi finally opened his own door and stepped halfway out.
"I dunno, it's almost three in the morning, only people out this late are gonna be truckers or other people like us. Not disagreeing, just saying it probably won't help."
"Please tell me there's hope..." Itachi said then, wrapping his trenchcoat-like jacket tight around his lean figure and struggling through the snow. Kakuzu irritated himself further by laughing inwardly as how pitifully homosexual this man was. Kisame was a damned fool to not predict the Uchiha developing affections for him. It's not as if he were some grotesque monster like he seemed to imply he believed. Aside from the scarring, Kakuzu thought him to be rather attractive, but more in a way a sibling would think so of another. And hell, a lot of women found his scars sexy, made the man seem dangerous and wild, though he really couldn't be more the opposite as far as his personality went.
"I don't think so.." The man replied, sighing and running a hand slowly through his hair, nearly white with the snow piled on it.
The youngest sighed out a curse and kicked feebley at the snow. "Well... I suppose we can call a cab again, since they're running after all..." He said, looking around for a street sign. "We're still on Quarter... is that Jefferson up ahead, or Madison?"
"It's Court." Kakuzu growled, crouching down to glance at the undercarraige. "We passed Madison awhile ago." Luckily someone had been paying attention to where they were. He could barely see six feet in front of him with the curtian of snow. "Your tire is bowed to the inside, you should hope you haven't broken the axle." He said, straightening back up. "Even if we could get it out, it wouldn't drive. You have a hefty mechanic bill in your future, Mister Uchiha."
"I imagine it was that ice we ran over..." Itachi sighed, ignoring the comment about money. "Well, no use waiting out in the cold. I'll call you both a cab, my apartment is only a few blocks, I'll walk home after you're on your way. I can't apologize enough, I've fouled up again."
Kakuzu rolled his eyes. He was damn sure right about that. Why did he keep getting dragged into situations like this because of these two?
"Don't.. don't be so hard on yourself. It's not like you purposely did it." Kisame said somewhat awkwardly, then turned to Kakuzu. "You want to wait here in the car? If his apartment isn't that far we could just wait for the taxi th-"
"Absoloutley not." Kakuzu interrupted, making Kisame's eyes widen in surprise.
"Oh.. right... your favorite person is there..." He chuckled after recovering. "Nevermind."
Itachi looked back and forth between the two, brow creased in concern, before he pulled out his phone and turned away without another word to call the cab.
Kakuzu watched for a moment until letting out a small growl and moving out to the back of the car to lean against the trunk. The snow was much shallower here.
He inhaled a deep breath of the freezing air and let it out slowly, watching the white fog escape him, then unfocusing his gaze to watch the large flakes fall gently to the ground, shimmering in the halogen lights of the streetlamps.
A presence came and leaned next to him, and though he didn't look, he knew it was Kisame, as he could heard the Uchiha's soft voice speaking to someone over the phone behind him.
"At least this sobered us up. You know we could probably just go back and get our own cars..."
"No..." Kakuzu said, eeriely calm now, crossing his arms across his chest. Really, what was the point of being furious anymore? No one seemed inclined to listen to him anyway. All he wanted to do was go collapse into bed, he'd do whatever he had to until then, as long as it didn't involve interacting with that idiot. Not as long as there were alternatives.
"The alchohol is still in your system, whether you feel it's effects or not. I'll not be bailing you out of jail for a DUI."
His friend laughed lightly at this. "That would be our luck too, neh?"
He paused, and both men sat in silence, staring out at the serene snowfall while Itachi's slightly muffled voice continued to chat with someone in the background.
"Kakuzu..." Kisame suddenly said in a thoughtful tone that made the elder man decided right away that the question that followed next would be one that he wouldn't like.
"You're straight... aren't you?"
He turned to regard his slightly taller companion in disapproval and minor surprise. "What the hell would you ask a fool question like that for?"
Kisame shrugged, seeming entertained by some joke the Doctor hadn't caught. "I was thinking, you know, you're so cool with my situation... most people aren't like that, especially old codgers like you." He laughed to signal his teasing intent. "I've never seen you with a chick... I can remember one party we both went to and you left with some girl, but I never heard you say anything about what happened after that... but you know I've never seen you even glance at a guy like that either. You're my oldest friend, So I'm just curious. It's weird that I wouldn't be able to recall a fact like that..."
"I'm not going to discuss my sex life with you, Kisame. Perhaps you're comfortable with such behavior, but I find it deplorable to shout such things to the world." He replied back resoloutly.
Kisame turned now, his grin even bigger. "You're not shouting it to the world. It's just a quick yes or no. Seriously, you're gonna blow my mind if you keep dodging the question, 'cause that could only mean-"
He was cut off when Kakuzu turned to him with a glare so dark, the man would have burst into flames if such a thing were possible.
It did no good though, Kakuzu Hoku was no liar, especially to his only real friend. It didn't matter how asenine he thought the question, aside from outright lying there was no way to guide the man's suspicions toward any other conclusion.
Kisame eyes widened, and he slowly turned back to face the street. "I don't know life anymore..." He mumbled.
Kakuzu scoffed, repeating the action. "Don't be immature. I don't prefer one or the other."
"How is that any better!?" Kisame half-shouted, whirling back to face him.
"Shut up you imbecile. What I mean, is that I don't take part in that sort of animalistic lifestyle. It's as you've said, you've never seen me with either."
Kisame stared for awhile, thinking over this, and then turned once again, only to twist right back to him. His sudden pep and interest in this bringing Kakuzu's anger back to a simmer.
"Wait, so you're a fucking virgin then!? Are you kidding me!?"
"No I am not." He said sharply, closing his eyes tightly in irritation "I've done it before, just not for years. I've been a bit preoccupied with running the clinic. And as you've stated thousands of times, I'm apparently an ass. No one bothers with it, and neither do I."
"Oh my God..." The taller man said, face going slack in wonder. "That makes sooo much sense..."
"What the hell are you on about now?"
"No wonder you're such an asshole! Dude! You seriously haven't been laid in fucking years!? Are you even human!?"
Kakuzu whirled to set his friend straight on the matter, but Itachi had finally finished his phonecall and came crunching over to the two.
"Well I have more bad news..." He said, not noticing the continued glare Kakuzu shot toward Kisame. Nor the awkward grin the second wore as he tried to appear neutral.
"They'll get a car to us as soon as possible, but it appears they only have two functioning taxis at the moment, and a que of clients to pick up, being Saturday night. And since all the bar's close at two, everyone's calling all at once. Accompany that with the driving conditions the way they are... they said it could take a few hours before they can reach us..."
"Of course." Kakuzu growled. "Why would I expect anything else! I could walk home by then!"
"Dr. Hoku, surely you wouldn't risk such a thing. It's ten-below."
"Well what do you suggest? It'll be daylight before we'll even have the chance to get home."
"I'm aware, Doctor. Again I offer my apologies, I'm trying to fix the mess I've made but I have no control-"
"Don't come at me with that, boy." He sighed. If he'd not come on this outing in the first place, none of this nonsense would have occurred. It was no one's fault but his own. Though he'd never admit it out loud, he would be an idiot to deny it, but that certainly didn't mean he needed the Uchiha's crafty sense of guilt-tripping either.
"Well, Kakuzu, old buddy." Kisame said all-too-cheerfully, clapping the man on the back. "I don't know about you but I'm not standing out here for two hours. Me and that kid you hate get along just fine, so I think Itachi and I will go wait at his place."
"What? Kisame if he doesn't want to-"
"C'mon. Kakuzu, you can sit in the car, I guess, but none for me, thank you. I'm not sitting in that tiny thing all night."
"So I have to call that blasted company back and have them send two cars?" Itachi said incredously. "That will take even longer!"
"Well I'm not staying here. I've had enough surprises for one day, and I'm beat. I'm going to your place, I'll hang out with the crazy kid."
"You most certianly will not!"
"Why not?"
"Well, not alone at least?"
"Oh what's he gonna do? Cuss me to death?"
Kakuzu sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose while the two bickered like a married couple.
It really did seem like his only options here were to walk home or walk to the Uchiha's residence.
The determining question here was; Would he rather spend a few hours with his most hated employee, or possibly catch pneumonia and risk possible death, or at the very least, hospital bills.
The bills really were the game-changer. He was in the business, and though he didn't keep anyone in his clinic like an actual hospital, he knew damn well that they would bleed you for every penny they could get, Doctor or not.
Damn. Damn, damn, damn.
Deal with Hidan for 2 hours and save money, or relinquish it and suffer through probable illness and hospitilizations, which of course would mean missing work and that would just give the idiot a payday for sitting at home on his ass.
Hidan or money... Fuck, there really could not be a more difficult question...
"Will you two shut up?" He snapped. His companions did as such, both of them turning to him expectantly.
"We'll go to your home, Mister Uchiha."
"Dr. Hoku I must inform you that Hidan is most likely still awake-"
"I have no problem with that. For you to suggest that I can't stand the sight of him would mean I care enough about him to put forth the effort to hate him. And that is incorrect. I'll not stand out here and freeze to death on any occasion, especially all because of some self-persona nonsense." He said, shooting an accusing glance at Kisame at the last.
Without waiting for a reply, he whirled around and started off. He still remembered where the boy lived, anyone would after having to drive around aimlessly until Hidan recognized the neighborhood because he forgot the actual address of the place he'd been staying for months.
The sound of the snow crunching behind him alerted him that he was being followed by at least one person. And after a few moments he heard the sound of someone running to catch up, and grit his teeth.
Just a few hours...
He could do that, after all it was only a matter of time until monday would come and he would have to be around the brat constantly for five days straight. He could just consider this training.
When he did die, at least he knew what awaited him in hell...
A/N-
Parrot Bay*- A super yummy coconut flavored alchoholic beverage. Lol, Idk if it's rum or vodka or what, I just know it's good shit.
So, big thanks to my bestie Fluffyisemo for helping me figure out this chapter and the next.
Not a very long authors note this time because I'm in a rush and i have a cold now, so I feel like shit. So thank you all for reviewing! I love you guys, please keep reviewing, I adore hearing your opinions!
Oh, and also, If you didn't see it in the last chapter, I drew a picture of Kakuzu and Kisame and Put them on my deviantart. And just today I did Itachi too. I wasn't going to draw him or Hidan since they pretty much just look the same as always, but fluffy talked me into it, so thank her. xD
It's under the same name as I am on here. Go check them out and let me know what you think.
See-ya next chapter!