A/N- EDIT; Went back through the chapter and fixed a lot of the stuff I wasn't very happy about. Most of it's toward the end, what I had before just felt farr too rushed and didn't explain things the way I felt they needed to be. So, it's better now. So uh. Yeah. G'head and read. .

FOLLOW YOUR ARROW

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Kakuzu sighed, angry... as he always was.

Angry at the Uchiha brat for going off on him like that.

Yeah, sure, the first time it had been somewhat amusing and impressive. But he had also been in his own clinic, his kingdom, as well as fully rested and able to think straight. Whereas here, Itachi, this boy young enough to be his son, is the iron-fisted ruler in this aweful land of discomfort and constant irritation.

How did this aweful night even come to fruition!? How could he make so many bad decisions in a row? Bloody hell, he'd not done something so stupid since his college days.

He was angry with Kisame as well. If that dult thought Kakuzu couldn't see right through him then, well... well actually that was basically his normal oblivious friend just being himself. But it still pissed the Doctor off!

They were all on some team against him here! Kisame started this whole thing by tricking him into hiring that albino disaster, and that damned Uchiha had snaked his way in and used his manipulative, conniving mind along with his gender-confused body to trick his old friend into doing his bidding all for the promise of sex.

And now the only other reasonable adults other than himself in this equasion were teaming up to get him to come to the dark side. The side where that insufferable mental trainwreck of an idiot was somehow a shining beacon of hope for humanity.

And Hidan! He was most angry with Hidan. He was always angry with Hidan. He couldn't understand what universe he had somehow been transported to that he was being mocked for hating the boy. Really, it wasn't his fault even. That child was the living incarnate of everything Kakuzu hated, bundled into some little non-threatening human form, and decked out with sex-appeal as if it would trick him into walking into that delision willingly.

And now, now that he had the basics of a background on the boy, he hated him even more.

He hated him, and pitied him, and that made him hate him even more. Where the hell did kids these days get off acting like the weight of the world is on their shoulders just because they've had a few setbacks in their short lifetimes? He was alive, wasn't he? He was healthy, still young with all the promise in the world ahead of him. He had at least one damn good friend who would apparently cross any lines neccessary to do what he seems to think best for the boy.

Why, when Kakuzu was that age, you either dealt with it and lived your life, or you didn't, and you killed yourself and ended the whole blasted thing. There was no switching back and forth between 'functioning' and 'broken'. No rediculous dance between victim and instigator. You wanted control of your life, you took it. End of story.

That was what would be best for Hidan. Not this gentle, unabrasive coddling. That was probably what was holding him back in the first place. All the mixed messages and flashing lights pointing in all different directions.

The world was not going to baby him, and neither was Dr. Hoku.

He knew for a fact that the kid was capable of doing pretty impressive things when he was actually determined to do it, and standing up for himself, that wasn't an issue either. He obviously had no problem with worrying about others' opinions and judgements. And oftentimes that was the hardest bump to get over. His problem now was that he had too much of that, to the point where he simply didn't care about anything.

Kakuzu had managed to drive the boys determination behind doing a good job at work through nothing more than an even balance of support(albeit it hard to see) and degradation.

Yes, I'm here for you if you fall, but I'll make you wish you were never fucking born if you do, you insolent little brat.

Yes, that was what Hidan needed. Not a bully, not an authority figure; a goddamn motivator, something to fear, and therefore push him into caring about his own well-being.

Itachi would be the one apologizing then, bowing before the greatness that is Kakuzu Hoku for transforming Hidan from idiotic boy to mature, rational man.

He blinked at this.

Okay, he was definitely getting a little too sleep deprived here.

He shifted in his position on the loveseat pressed to the wall, just under the window, catching the attention of Kisame, slouching comfortabley in the adjacent loveseat that Hidan seemed to favor.

"Oh damn, I thought maybe you fell asleep with your eyes open there for a second. You were creeping me out."

Kakuzu grunted, bringing a hand up to rub his eyes, "If I had been blessed with a moment of sleep, you would have just woken me and suffered the terrible consequences."

This received only a chuckle in response, followed by a dramatic sigh after exactly three seconds of silence.

"They must really be having a heart to heart in there..."

Kakuzu snorted, pulling the ponytail from his hair to run his fingers over his scalp. "They can both stay in there until this damned door thaws for all I care. I haven't had a better time since we arrived than just sitting here in the quiet dark."

This much was true, it was indescribeabley peaceful, sitting here with only the one dim little light in the center of the room. Both of their coffee mugs lay abandoned on the coffee table, having been drained, refilled, and drained again. Damned defective caffiene, Kakuzu still felt as if he might just pass out if he relaxed like his friend for even a second.

"Hm." Kisame said, expression thoughful as he looked away frim the elder to instead focus on the flashlight also resting on the coffee table, standing up like a lantern to cast it's dull, yellow, glowing circle up on the ceiling. "It can't be that bad. I didn't hear him shouting or anything until the lights went out."

"And I doubt you were even paying attention anyway. Tell me, did he really just want to have a chat? Or would you say the brat's warnings were suitable for the occasion?"

The scarred man grinned in the dim light, not moving his gaze an inch. "You're teasing me, Kakuzu Hoku? Shit, maybe you have been around the kid too long."

"Make another comment like that and it will be the last thing you do, Hoshigaki."

"There you go, that's more like you. The grumpy old Doctor."

"Well really. We've got nothing in common."

"You don't think so? Not even a little?" Kisame said, brow raised in interest as he shifted his position to where he was reclined on the corner of the couch, arms draped across the arm and headrest and facing Kakuzu.

"If you're refferring to my home life as a boy then you're an idiot. The situations were completley different." Kakuzu growled back, glaring as usual. He had immediatly predicted Kisame eventually trying to make some rediculous observation like this the second he'd told the doctor about Hidan's unfortunate past. It was the man reason he had simply stopped talking about it back in the kitchen. It could be described as somewhat of a sensitive subject to the Doctor, who was supposedly an unemotional robot. He was already in a horrible enough mood, the last thing he needed was a blast to his past to make things worse. He did not need to look back, he did not need to regret. Regretting only cluttered things, affection, only cluttered things.

"Yeah, there's no denying that." The scarred man clicked his tongue after a moment of silence, tipping his head slightly. "But it's more compareable than, to say; my life. Hell, my folks are both still alive over in Florida. Last I heard they were gonna go try and buy back great-aunt Adema's house out in the Carribbean sea and move there. 'Get back to their roots,' they say. Hah, they take this ancestry thing too far if you ask me..."

"My mother's death is not similar to his parents' at all, Kisame. I would appreciate it if you'd stop implying so." The elder ground out, ignoring the man's information vomit. Kisame was a good friend and all, but really, he'd only met his parents once a very long time ago. He couldn't care less about their plans or wherabouts.

"I'm not saying that, Kakuzu. Quit being so sensitive. All I'm trying to get at is; He has no family, you have no family. There's no comparison, you two are just more alike than ya think."

"Well keep such thoughts to yourself. I don't share your opinion." He said back immediatley, mainly for the fact that he'd been close to thinking somewhat of the same thing only minutes ago.

He was a shining example of how to properly handle stressful situations, now wasn't he?

Kakuzu Hoku did not think himself perfect, but he was a far-cry better than most idiots he was forced to deal with on a daily basis. He had complete and utter control over himself and his life, he lived with no regrets because he did not allow himself to make mistakes, and when he did make mistakes he forced them into his plans until they were no longer that.

At least... he had up until recently. Until that damnable Hidan San had come into his life. Damn him.

Being an emotionless asshole had always, always been a fine solution to every situation, his tunnel vision centered as it was on his simple goal had never steered him wrong before. Perhaps he'd had somewhat of a self-sheltered life all these years, but that was fine. It served it's purpose, kept him out of trouble and troublesome situations.

And being here was he was, well, once again, a perfect example. He could still be home now, doing as he pleased in a comfortable setting instead of fighting the urge to kick out the window and escape this hellhole if only he hadn't let himself be concerned for Kisame. If only he had said 'No. I will not drink with you,' then everything would be as it should.

He blinked back to awareness again.

What was he doing? Was he sitting here nulling over the past? Regretting his actions? Pitying himself?

Good God what had he been reduced to!?

"Well... it's not like I'm telling you to be best friends with the guy." Kisame finally continued. "Just trying to help you out. I mean, you can't possibley enjoy sitting there pissed off constantly can you?"

"I'm always pissed off, Kisame. It's my nature. Just as you are always too damn jovial." He said wearily. Rest, he just wanted some rest... that was all... peace and quiet and rest.

"That's not true. Don't think I wasn't still paying attention back at the bar just cause I was freaking out. You were laughing your ass off, having a hell of a time. I know you're capable of being happy and having fun. What I don't get is why you act like it's such a bad thing. Do you remember what you said to me last night?" Kisame had sat forward in his seat as he got rolling, expression growing stern.

"I said many things to you last night-"

"You told me that I'm just a decade away from half my life be nothing but memories. Well guess what Kakuzu, you have 4 years until then."

"I'm aware of my own age, Kisame." He growled. The man was persistant though, leaning forward even more now.

"Then what the hell is your problem? You can dish out great advice, but you can't live by it?" He scooted himself toward the older man, leaning over and propping himself on his thighs. "I don't have any double meanings for any of this, old friend. It's as simple as I can make it. You. Are. A miserable, grumpy old man. And you know why? You won't let yourself be happy, you can't let yourself relax. You know why the kid pisses you off so much? Because he's so different. Went through the same emotional trauma as you, but didn't come to the same conclusions..."

Kakuzu's face was contorted into a deep scowl now. He had to work mercilessly at keeping his breathing even and keep himself seated, or else he might just stand up and knock the shit out of his 'friend'.

How dare he sit there and make such accusations! Making it seem as if Kakuzu were jealous of Hidan. HAH! Of all the moronic things that had ever come out of that man's mouth, that had to be the most rediculous.

"He did not experience the same trauma." He said, so low that it was almost a hum. Kisame swallowed heavily all the sudden.

"If what you say was correct, he was far to young to even remember his parents, let alone have to bury them. He was not abandoned by his worthless piece of shit father in favor of jumping across the border to drink and smoke his life away, leaving nothing for his sick wife and child to live on. He did not have to watch his mother slowly deteriorate into a bag of bones until she begged for death to hurry and claim her, he didn't have to care for her like some cripple while she simply gave in to her fate instead of fighting for the child who needed her. He may have had the unfortunate experience of never being adopted, but he was not thrust into that deplorable system suddenly and without warning as a teenager. He grew up in it, Kisame. He suffered no trauma. Depression and lonliness perhaps, but not trauma."

He had not moved at all through the whole speech, only glared searing hatred toward Kisame, sitting there looking like some child being told a ghost story.

"He may have never received a parents love because he didn't have parents, but at least he was spared from having parents that didn't care. From having people all around him that should care, and for whatever reason, didn't. He was ignored by strangers. I was ignored by family. Why am I such a closed off, grouchy, negative person? You tell me. How you can possibley compare that brat's history and mine is far beyond me. Shitty life, my ass. There are plenty of other's who would love to have the good fortune he did." He said now, leaning forward as his oceanic friend had done earlier. "And unless you want to see a very, very ugly side of my temper, I suggest you stop bringing that particular subject up, and end this conversation here."

The two men sat motionless, locked in a staring contest, before Kisame's mouth finally dropped open, no words escaping for the first few seconds. "Kakuzu, I didn't mean to go that far. I know your personality, I've never had a problem with it personally, because I knew why you did it. The only thing I was trying to say..."

He trailed off, as if forgetting his train of thought.

"By all means, Hoshigaki, enlighten me." Kakuzu said, terrifyingly calm and gentle.

"I... I mean... I just worry about you sometimes. You deserve to be happy too, y'know? If you weren't so negative and mean all the time, you'd have a better chance of that."

The doctor put his fingers together in a pyramid now. "What makes you think I'm so unhappy? If I had a problem with my lifestyle then I would change it. Just because I pursue real, tangible things instead of some fleeting emotion does not mean I'm miserable. Perhaps you should just mind your own business from now on, we got along so much better when you did."

Kisame had relaxed once again, stareing at his friend with pity now. He gave him a heavy sigh, wiped his hand briefly over his face, and flopped back onto the couch in his previous relaxed position. "Whatever you say, ya stubborn old coot. You know I think I'm the only normal person in this house."

Kakuzu actually allowed himself to smirk at this. It was a small boost to his ego, The scarred man wasn't bending to his will, or back on his side, but at least he was put back in his place.

He could appreciate what Kisame thought he was trying to do, but just because of this one horrible night, it didn't mean he suddenly needed to go through some mid-life crises and change his ways.

Being miserable and alone had never bothered him before, and still didn't. There was only one thing fouling up his life right now.

Just Hidan, only Hidan. That insufferable brat. He was the one who'd thrown everything off, and once he set this problem straight, thing's could get back on track.

His duty now was obvious, he had to fix the boy.

Touché Karma.

And surely once he did he could simply return to his previous lifestyle.

That made sense, surely that made sense. That wasn't just his desperate attempt to make sense of things in his tired, foggy mind.

"You're far from sane, Kisame. Look at the crowd you run with, after all." He said wearily, waving weakly at him as he tried desperatly not to nod off.

Kisame barked out a laugh that sounded like some mixture between a dog and a donkey. "See!? That's the Kakuzu I like to chill with!"

He fought through his own quivering lips at this, doing his best to keep a straight face. He failed, in the end, giving his friend a smirk, and receiving one in return.

"Shut up Kisame." He muttered, leaning his head back and letting his heavy eyes fall shut.

-o-

Hidan lay on his stomach across his futon bed, the blankets and sheets thrown from the furniture and draped across the floor, flashlight perched on the matress corner pressed into the wall, bright halogen light shining up onto the ceiling and showering the small room with it.

His two pillows, which he rarely actually used for sleeping on the occasions that he did sleep, were stuffed under his chest to keep himself propped up easier on his elbows.

He tapped his pen against his lips in thought, looking down at his chickenscratch handwriting on his tattered notebook. It was a checklist, though usually this pad served more as a journal, where he scribbled down furiously his maelstrom of thoughts before they consumed him completley. It was something Itachi constantly suggested he do, something he constantly informed his roommate was a 'pussy-ass' coping method, but it was something he'd been secretly doing long before he'd returned to this town.

So he had some kind of man-diary, who cares, right?

Unfortunatley, he did. He didn't want to care, but it was embarrassing. He already lost control of himself on occasions and blurted out embarrassing secrets and shames about himself. The last thing he wanted was some of the things written in this book to be seen by anyone elses eyes.

It always helped to go back and read through it in his calmer moments, helped him understand things about himself, conclusions he'd come to during these episodes that he later forgot about when in a clearer state of mind. Really, some of the things he thought about in those delerious moments were fucking brilliant, other's; dark and morbid and somewhat disturbing. But it was the brilliant observations he usually paid attention to.

And that's why he thought his idea for a hobby would work out perfectly. Finally he could have a legitimate reason to share these strange theories and resolutions with people without having to randomly declare it aloud, only to be questioned as to how he'd come to have the thought in the first place. Why the hell he hadn't thought of it sooner was something he didn't bother investigating. Because the only answer there would be something akin to his stupidity.

The only problems here is that it would take a long fucking time to learn, and he didn't want to hear anyone's snarky fucking comments about it until he could blow them all away with his genious.

He'd never be called an idiot again.

But, this meant a lot of sneaking sround, a lot of secret-keeping, and a lot of little-white-lies. And that made his gut tighten.

He could lie like a pro, when he wanted. He could bullshit anyone to Oz and back, but only on a short-term basis. The length being determined completley by how long it took for him to have another meltdown and spew out all the truths he'd been hiding away in order to ease his stressed mind.

Hidan didn't think of himself as a liar, really. Which was just about the only negative thing about himself he didn't believe. And that was ironic because sometimes he lied about things that there wasn't even any point in lieing about, he didn't know why, but for some reason felt himself justified to do so.

Just another one of those demons, he supposed...

The part of this plan that irritated him wasn't so much the lieing, it was the lieing to Itachi that scared him. That damn Uchiha had fucking x-ray vision when it came to him, usually. And just like what Kakuzu had said to him on Friday, he did not like being lied to.

Hidan could understand the concept of being told such untruths making one feel as if the propogator of the farse were insulting ones intelligence, and maybe in most situations that was true. But the pale man scribbling away on his bed liked to think his intentions nothing like that. He rarely thought of anyone else as stupid, it was normally the opposite, actually. Most of his little lies were spoken mainly for the point of avoiding having to explain some truth that might be misinterpreted. So he didn't like having to explain shit, big deal!

And besides, a 5 second lie saved him a whole entire conversation/arguement that he didn't have the energy or patience to take part in.

And that's exactly what these would be. He didn't want to hear feedback on his own personal hobbies, it was no one's business what he busied himself with, not even his roommate, even if they did share pretty much everything like a couple of girls, even if Itachi would probably find out anyway.

And to avoid having to listen to these unwanted opinions and comments, he would simply deny the existance of the hobby in the first place.

Such an excruciatingly long and detailed way of doing things, but that was the sort of thing that made sense in that crowded head of his.

He blinked, pulling the pen from his lips to scribble down one more item on the checklist before a knock sounded on his door, making his heart jump up into his throat.

He flailed off the bed, successfully knocking his pillows to the floor with the blankets as he quickly shoved the notebook under his mattress and dove back onto the padded surface, rolling to his back and folding his arms behind his head as he stared at the ceiling, letting his features fall blank.

"Hidan..." Itachi's voice said quietly.

He didn't bother answering, seeing as the guy would just let himself in anyway, and he was also supposed to be in a bad mood too, he remembered. He'd made that stupid, immature little scene and left the room.

Ugh, God he hated himself sometimes.

Sure enough, the doorknob twisted and the door itself slid quietly open. The zealot didn't move his pigment-less gaze from the speck on the ceiling he was locked on, nor did he bother saying anything. More out of embarrassment now than the stubborn anger it most likely came off as.

"Hidan... look at this room..." Itachi sighed, though not sounding angry. He bent over to gather up his roommates bedding, tossing it back to the corner of the bed.

"It get's too fuckin' hot with all that shit." Hidan said, still not looking at him.

"I can understand the blankets and maybe the pillows, but do you really have to strip off the sheets?"

"Yes. They're constricting. I hate them."

Itachi regarded him in silence for a moment before sitting down on the edge of the bed.

"You do realize I'm not your mother."

"You sure fuckin' act like one." He said back right away, finally letting his eyes fall to meet those of his best friend.

"It's not my fault if I preferr a place to be kept tidy."

"And I like it messy."

"You just don't like cleaning."

"Nope."

Again a small length of silence stretched between them. "I'm sorry Hidan. Perhaps I made a mistake in bringing them here... I had no other choice-"

"You always have a choice." The albino interrupted, pushing the upper half of his body up to prop it on his elbows. "Isn't that what you always say?"

"Don't be sore with me. I already set the Doctor straight. But he's not completley to blame. You haven't made this night easy for him..."

"WHAT? Shut the fuck up I've been so good!" Hidan said, just below a shout only for the fact that his voice was suddenly a little hoarse. "I even tried having a conversation with the bastard while you two were back there doing it. Just like you tell me, I asked him something about himself, I engaged him. He just called me stupid and said he wanted to break my neck!"

Itachi's perfect brows shot up at this. "I hardley think he said that Hidan, you're exaggerating."

"Uh, no. I'm not. I asked him about his eyes and he asked me why my hair is white and I said I'm an albino and he kept dodging the question so I tried to fucking clarify myself and he asked if I had a brain and I asked if he wanted to crack open my skull and make sure and he said 'I'd like to break your neck too.'" He explained, puffing out his chest and making a face while doing a horrible impression of Kakuzu's deep voice.

Itachi's mouth crooked up at this. "Well you goaded him into that one. It's not like he adores you like you do him."

Hidan stared back incredously. "Are you fucking high Uchiha? Or do my words just sound like dolphins squeaks to you? I hate him. Hate. Not love. Not like. Not even fucking respect. Just pure, simple hate."

"Hn, you keep saying that. I can't help but feel like you're trying to convince yourself more than me." The raven-haired man replied nonchalantly, turning away from his friend and pretending to examine his nails.

Hidan's mouth opened wide as he took in a breath to argue in a louder volume, but he stopped himself, letting his jaw clamp shut. He angrily dropped his forearm across his stuffed nose, eyes squinting in irritation.

Stupid Itachi with your stupid mind games and your stupid...STUPIDITY!

He wasn't falling for it this time.

"What the hell do you want anyway? Shouldn't you be seducing Shark-dick out there or something?" He grumbled, throwing himself to his previous position.

The slightly younger man only rolled his eyes, ignoring the question as he replied. "I came to make sure you were okay-"

"Well, I'm fine. So go away."

"-because you've been having such a hard time since you got that job." He continued, not acknowledging the interruption.

"Again, 'Tachi. You're not my mommy."

"No. But I am your friend and I'm not going to let you sulk in your room because your crush isn't being nice to you."

Hidan nearly flailed upright again, bending his knees so he could lean himself inches away from Itachi's expressionless face.

"Where the fucking hell do you keep getting this batshit crazy fucking idea that I want that shithead!? Dammit 'Tachi, you're the one who sounds fucking obsessed with him. Fuck!"

"Don't turn this around on me just because you can't accept your feelings." Itachi laughed, grabbing one of his friends pillows and tossing at his head.

Hidan caught it and slammed his face down into it. "There ain't any fucking feelings! AARGH!" He roared, laughing into a small coughing fit because of it.

"...Well... If you say so..." The Uchiha said, waiting calmly for the zealot to come up for air.

Damn you.

He clenched his eyes shut, trying to calm himself down. Not so much from anger, but more from the half-panic he was suddenly in.

It had happened just after he'd accused his friend of having feelings for his employer. Some weird little spark in him that seemed to light a very long fuse. It burned within him, that same goddamn distant feeling that he was unaware of some obvious truth, but magified by ten-hundred times. The fuse sizzled there getting shorter and shorter, taking its sweet time though it had only been seconds.

The image of Itachi and Kakuzu, together, popped involuntarily into his mind. He didn't like it, he noticed. But not only did he just not like it, it pissed him off.

He'd looked up, eyes wide, as the pillow flew toward him. It collided with his face in slow motion, just as the cannon went off inside him, some metaphorical cord had been twisted as tightly as it could go and just then it snapped.

It pissed him off because... because it didn't make sense. Kakuzu couldn't be with Itachi. Nevermind that that old codger probably didn't like guys, nevermind that their personalities were nothing alike. He didn't like it because he didn't like imagining Kakuzu with anyone.

Instead of the normal ocean of buzzing, incomprehensible thoughts that usually followed such feelings, it was a sudden understanding that sent his mental state spiraling out of control.

He didn't like thinking of Kakuzu romatically involved at all. Because that would mean there was no chance for anyone else. And not just anyone else...

"Oh..." he said into the pillow, heart racing, memories flashing before his closed eyes.

Kakuzu in his labcoat looking so professional and confident, Kakuzu behind his desk, powerful, dominating. Kakuzu, standing outside his door in the snow, Kakuzu sleeping at the table, Kakuzu ripping the frozen door latch off with ease...

No way. No possible way! He'd only fucking met the dude two goddamn days ago.

"My..." he muttered again, unable to pull his head from the safe confines of the fabric around him.

He fell asleep, surely he had accidentally fallen asleep here on his bed and this was some dream.

No, wait, no. That couldn't be right, because his dreams were the only place he had control. And he'd never let this happen, not ever.

"Fucking..."

It wasn't true. It wasn't true at all. He could deal with thinking the guy was sexy. Okay, fine, for a fifty-year-old geezer, he was hot. No prob, he could accept that.

But this... this weird heavyness in his chest, this fluttery, light feeling in his stomache.

No. Hell no.

Get the fuck out.

"God..." he said into the pillow, then suddenly sitting ramrod straight, face looking as if he'd seen a ghost.

His friend smirked knowingly, still examining his nails. "Troubles?"

The pale man's mouth bobbed open and closed in shock for a minute, before his features contorted into a deep scowl. He snapped his head to the side to glare at the Uchiha, who looked back at him innocently, saying nothing more.

He knew, he knew the whole fucking time. Him and that annoying, cognitive brain had it figured out from that very first day!

"What the fuck did he want?" Hidan had said after his dear friend finally emerged from the clinic. Wearing that damn smirk. Fucking hell! He knew! He'd seen it right there and then! But... but how!? Hidan hadn't even done anything by then, that was before he'd even stopped trying to impress the guy...

Oh God... that was it. Why had he even been trying so hard? Because that Scarred-up motherfucker had told him to, right? Nonono, he'd come to that decision of his own... had he?

Oh fuck this was too confusing!

"He was concerned for you." Itachi had told him.

LIES! He probably hadn't cared at all, he was just narking. That bastard Uchiha had twisted his words, wearing that smug little smirk. I know something you don't know~

"Itachi..."

"Yes?"

Oh dear God. That was why he'd been smiling so weirdly when the doctor called him drunk, needing a ride.

OhGodohGodohGOD! This was no fucking accident! Itachi had a perfect driving record-OH GOD why didn't he fucking connect the dots!?

"...I'm going to kill you."

"Are you now?"

That's what that weird look had been about just earlier in the kitchen! He'd been staring at Kakuzu trying to figure out his fucking attitude problem and Itachi saw him staring and had looked at him like he was some cute little kid with a crush...HOLY FUCK!

This whole night was a setup! The whole thing was an act! He'd been dropping those little smirks and strange looks and hints all fucking night and Hidan STILL HADN'T CAUGHT ON!

"Yes."

"Why is that?" He said, smiling that goddamn cat-grin, looking him in the eyes expectantly, excitedly, like watching some otherwordly phenomenon take place.

"You know goddamn well why!" He whisper-snarled now, managing not to yell only because for some reason, he didn't want the two men in the other room to hear, as if just hearing that one sentence would immediatly alert them to the realization he's just made.

God, he really was a fucking idiot wasn't he? This was why His roommate continually kept trying to make Hidan think better of the man, why he'd pointed out to that Kakuzu was handsome, why it bothered him so much, why he was so infuriated by the asshole always insulting him and acting like he didn't care...

Why he was so determined to prove himself to this guy.

Stupid defective brain!

"Damn you!" He went on when Itachi only continued to look at him somewhere between amused and relieved. "Damn you, and damn that stupid analytical fucking mind you have! How do you do that!? Seriously!? Are you a wizard? Can you tell the future too?"

"I'm not sure I know what you're talking about." Itachi chuckled, raising a brow.

"You!... I!... RrrrrrAAARRGGHH!" He raged, slamming his face back into the pillow to muffle his scream.

This was impossible. Simply fucking impossible. Oh God how was he going to go on living? How was he going to go on working with that asshole!

This wasn't right. It couldn't be right. He knew himself, he knew what he liked. AND HE DIDN'T LIKE OLD MEN!

Yeah, sure, right. Itachi just wanted him to think he liked the guy. Just more of his crafty manipulation. It wasn't real, it couldn't be real.

Kakuzu's face while he was sleeping at the table. So peaceful, still adorabley angry even in his sleep. Hidan had stared, stared like some creepy-ass obsessed girl.

'I like him like this'. He had realized. He could have left the room, let him sleep. He could have run away and saved himself. But he didn't want to, he'd wanted to stay.

Oh God no, it was real.

"It's not even possible!" He breathed, pulling his face back out from the pillow.

"I don't... But... that's not even realistic! You can't like someone like that without knowing a damn thing about them..." He thought out loud.

"You like someone?" Itachi inquired innocently.

"You can think they're hot. You can be physically attracted, but that's not even it. That's not what it fucking feels like!" Hidan continued on, staring down at his hands now on top of the pillow as if they were the strangest things he'd ever seen.

"I know what that is. You see a sexy chick or a hot dude, you wanna fuck 'em. But I don't, that's not what it is..."

He turned to look frantically at his roommate, eyes wider still and brows creased, looking as if he might just burst into tears.

"What the fuck is it then?" He asked the calm man, now regarding him in concern.

"That's a very good question, Hidan." He replied softly, apparently finally giving up his little ruse of ignorance. And that was fine with Hidan, he couldn't play those games right now anyway. He was about to throw himself out the window.

"It could be explained away as anything, depending on what you believe. I'd call it something you'd probably thing was idiotic and scoff at. So I suppose, chemistry, will suffice."

"Chemistry?" Hidan echoed, still locked in disbelief and horror.

"Yes. The subconcious mind usually decides your preferences for you, women or men. And those who you call 'sexy' are labeled by your brain as potential mates. See, based on what you like, for instance, curvy women versus tall, thin women, your subconcious looks for these things on a theoretical checklist of qualities that sum up their ability to birthe children. Originally it was a survival technique human's developed to help increase the chance of producing healthy offspring. When one person had excellent physical chemistry with another, they'd develop an attraction stronger than just that of a sexual nature, bonding them, so to speak, so that they can create as many 'perfect' children as possible together. Of course that was back in the prehistoric days. Times have changed so fast and drastically, it's hard to logically apply such a thing to human psychology anymore. But that's the best answer I can give you in terms you'd accept."

Hidan's face had gone slack throughout the man's explanation, and when he noticed a break in his speech he promptly grabbed the pillow and smacked him across the face with it.

"SPEAK ENGLISH ITACHI!" He shouted as he did so.

The Uchiha sent a dark glare at his friend as he smoothed his dissheveled hair. "Dammit you oaf! You don't have to resort to violence every time you don't understand something!"

"Well then talk like a normal person!"

"Fine!" He snapped, grabbing the pillow from Hidan's pale hands and ripping it away to toss it back in the corner with the rest of the bed dressings. "You're soul-mates. Meant to be together for some reason that only you two could ever understand. Am I speaking English now?" He finished sarcastically.

Hidan's nose crinkled in disgust. "Ew! Fuck, I liked the confusing words better. That lovey-dovey shit's too gay for me, seriously."

"That's why I said them first." The Uchiha sighed, closing his eyes and resting his forehead on his palm with his elbow perched on his knee. "Good God I'm glad you finally caught on, though. It was absoloutley exhausting trying not to say anything. If I had to sit there and listen to you drone on and on about him the rest of the week I might have had to do something drastic."

"Hey fucker! Don't be all relieved! I'm fucking pissed at you!"

He looked up again in what appeared to be true condusion now. "At me? Why?"

"You meddled!"

"I did no such thing! I told you when I came in that I had no other choice."

"Don't fucking lie to me Uchiha you've never been in an accidental car crash in your fucking life. At least not when you were behind the wheel."

"Kisame and Dr. Hoku can vouch for me, there was a large chunk of ice-"

"Gah! Don't talk about that shithead!" Hidan cried, putting his hands over his ears.

"Well then have a look at my car when I find someone to retrieve it. I could not fake a possibley broken axle. At least that's what Dr. Hoku thinks it might be."

"You're saying his name on purpose now!" He growled again. "Jesus christ just get out! Leave me alone!"

Itachi studied his poor, confused friend for a few heartbeats before sighing heavily. "Hidan, I don't understand why you're turning this into a bad thing."

"Because I hate him! That's why!"

"It's nothing more than a crush Hida, don't exagerrate. It's not as if you have to act on it..."

"Are you retarded!? This is horrible! How am I supposed to keep my head around him with this shit on my mind? I already freaked out once, and that was just from pretending to be a good employee. How the fuck am I supposed to act like everything's normal?"

"No one can control your emotions except you. It's not about pretending Hida, you just need to accept the fact. That alone will make everything easier. Be comfortable in your own skin."

"Yeah but what if his fucking wife or sometging comes in and I get fucking jealous-"

"Dr. Hoku is single." Itachi stated matter-of-factly.

"He is?..." He replied eithout thinking, dropping his hands beside him on the bed.

Oh thank God, that meant he was avail-"FUCK! No! What the hell!? Why'd you tell me that?"

"He's also bi-sexual. I overheard a conversation he had with Kisame." Itachi added, looking as he were barely restraining a laugh.

Hidan's face flashed between emotions so quickly then that he was pretty sure he might just die of confusion right there on the spot. He sniffed as hard as he could through his damned stuffed nose, coughing a couple times when the pressure in his lungs hurt.

"Get out."

"Now don't be that way Hidan I'm only trying to help."

"Get. Out. Now."

"Hidan..."

"Please! Just let me fucking think! Seriously!"

"Alright, alright. I'm sorry, let me help you get your thoughts straight, please."

"Tch. You just wanna manipulate me some more."

"No really. I promise, Hida. I want to help you with this."

"No! I know what you want me to do! You and your girly, sappy, ideas of true love and all that bullshit. You want me to go after him! This is real fucking life Itachi, maybe everyone thinks I'm fucking stupid and maybe they're right but I'm damn sure not dumb enough to get involved in that kinda shit." He pushed from the bed, flashlight in hand, and took the one whole step required to reach the door. "Just get out. I wanna be alone right now. I don't need to talk, this isn't my usual dumbass behavior. I really just wanna be alone. Go."

With that he opened the door, gesturing out to the dark hallway.

His dear friend looked at him sadly, obviously pained by God-even-knows-what emotion. But he nodded and stood up, brushing himself off as if he'd somehow become dirty by just sitting there..

"Alright. But if you need me, I'm here. I suppose I'm going to try and find some way to get our guests back home."

"Yeah, well, let me know when he's fucking gone..."

"Very well." He said, moving through the door. Hidan shut it gently behind him, trying in vain to sniff through his congested nose again as he leaned his back against it and slid down to the floor, burying his head in his hands.

"You really have outdone yourself on this one, Big guy..." he muffled into the empty room. "Twenty-fucking-two and sitting here crying over a goddamn guy. What's wrong with me?" He wasn't actually crying of course. Hidan San didn't cry, not even when wasted so far off his ass that he no longer knew his own name. But this was certianly stressful. Why it was this bad, he wasn't sure. But nothing that felt like this could ever be good. He already had Itachi, the best friend a guy could ask for. And that was enough happiness, having anything else in his life that provided that blissful feeling of hope, well, that could only mean something bad was going to happen...

-o-

"SPEAK ENGLISH ITACHI!"

Kisame jerked awake at the shout from the other room, not realizing he'd fallen asleep.

He looked around, recalling where he was, and then groaned softly as he readjusted himself into a more comfortable position.

He took a second to rub his tired eyes, looking then to the left to check on his older friend, who'd apparently nodded off as well there under the window. The soft light of the very beginnings of a sunrise shone through, shining onto Kakuzu dark-skinned features. His head was tipped backward on the back of the couch, making the low light emphasize the terrible bags under his eyes, as well as his normal small amount of age-related wrinkles, and his frown-lines.

Kisame stared sleepily at him for a moment, considering.

He really did care about the guy. Being an only child as he was, with parents that rarely liked to stay in the same place, Kisame had grown up goig through the motions of making friends, somthing that thankfully had come pretty naturally to him as a child, and then being forced to leave them. Kakuzu, strangely enough, was the only one that still remained.

It was understandable, in a way. By the time he'd met the guy he was only a few short months from turning 18, and at that time he'd moved out on his own after his parents decided to uproot themselves again. He'd stayed in that college town for a few more years, even after Kakuzu graduated, to get his own degree. And the older man had stayed there as well, taking only a few short years of internship before he had all the creditials and experience he thought neccesary to start up his own little business. By the time Kakuzu had made his purchase of the clinic he owned now and announced to Kisame that he, too, would be moving, the younger of the two had been in his second year of community college, and had pretty well realized that the scene wasn't for him. He'd finished up his year there, and mostly on impulse, started looking for jobs around the area that the Doctor had told him he'd be going.

He hadn't had any sort of ties to the place, except a girlfriend who several people told him has been sleeping around despite their relationship. And so it hadn't been hard to pack up and move once he found a nice little place with a decent price here in town, the residence he still occupied and very nearly owned.

He may have somehow miraculously been unaware of Kakuzu's sexual preferences, but he liked to think he was still the only human being who knew him to be more than the stand-offish asshole he made himself out to be.

It was still a mystery as to what cosmic force had possessed him to follow the guy here, but it never bothered him. Their relationship had never rekindled even after he'd finally gotten a steady job that linked coincidentally with Kakuzu's, but it had at least remained there. And it was comforting to him, whether it had been reduced simply to business calls or not. He still knew it was there, and despite how the older man had grown continually more and more unlikeable throughout the years, despite how they both aged, he still held onto the Kakuzu he knew and cherished that had befriended him by random chance at a college party he wasn't even sure how he'd ended up at.

When he'd taken that vacation that had changed his ability to easily befriend people way back just after he'd made the switch from the city to this smaller town, Kakuzu had been the first person to show up in the hospital after he'd been attacked during a scuba-diving adventure, despite his Aunt and cousin having lived right there on the island where it happened . The man had taken an overnight flight all the way out to the Bahama's where he was hospitalized, and by the time he'd gotten out of surgery, unable to see anything due to his bandged covered eyes, he'd been there waiting in his room by his bed when he recovered from the Anesthesia.

He'd stayed there for a whole week, paying the rediculous price for lodgings they had down there without a word, which was astonishing in itself seeing as this was the penny-pinching Kakuzu Hoku, while he had taken his slow recovery. Unfortunatly he'd had to leave get back to his business before Kisame's eyes had healed enough for him to remove the bandages and actually see his dear friend, but the gesture had remained with him ever since.

The years had passed by slowly and monotonously since then, and he had held onto that one act of loyalty, thinking that this was a lifelong friendship. And once again it had been proven true to him when he'd made that distressed call to his friend a few days ago, not knowing where else to turn. And once again, Kakuzu had been there for him, paying expenses out of his own pocket and dealing with uncomfortable situations all on Kisame's behalf.

It was one of those strange friendships that was too beautiful to make sense. And he rarely ever tried to do so. Such things weren't meant to be questioned, only taken as they were with the appreciation they deserved.

He was distracted again as more yelling, though distinctly quieter and unintelligable, came from the other room. He looked down the dark hallway, smirking a bit.

He supposed Itachi and his immature friend's relationship could be considered much the same. Two people with completley different lifestyles and personalities, somehow united together to take on the challenges of life together. It was ironic, now that he thought about it, that the four of them, all so universally different, would end up here in this situation together. Ironic that he and Itachi would be together, both having their emotionally-distant friends to deal with. Ironic that the two men with so much lonliness and heartache in their pasts would sense the mutal though unnoticed yearning for someone to understand them, someone stable to be with that could empathize and accept them while still assuring each other that they are not what they've accepted even embraced themselves to be; unloveable.

He turned back to look at his sleeping friend, smiling warmly.

Itachi was absoloutly right, something had to be done about these two. Kakuzu was a caring man capable of great loyalty and love down beneath that wall he'd built up. Kisame himself was proof as well that all it took was honesty and gratitude to get past that shell. Obviously he would never just spontaneously transform into a whole new person, but he would change, the scarred man thought, if given a good enough reason.

And sitting here staring at him, still so disturbed looking even in his sleep. He wondered if he'd ever felt anything close to that indescribable feeling Itachi had brought out in him. He wasn't some hopless romantic, really, and so he wasn't going to try to put any kind of name as it, but he knew if the old man gould taste even a small slice of that, find his own 'Itachi Uchiha' persay, things would change.

The small squeak of a door opening sent his gaze flashing back over to the hallway. After a click that sounded the shutting of said door, a very troubled-looking Itachi finally moved like a ghost into the light of the room.

Kisame gave him a big grin when he looked up from the carpet and their eyes met, and he recieved a gorgeous but tired smile in return.

"Well. Good morning sunshine." He said quietly, making the Uchiha huff out a small laugh.

"I wouldn't call it good, but it certianly is morning isn't it?" He responded, continueing into the kitchen after a quick glance at a sleeping Kakuzu.

Kisame quietly got up and followed him, grabbing his coffee mug as he did so.

Damn, he'd had a rediculous amount of caffiene tonight.

"Oh good, there's some left." Itachi mumbled to himself, most likeley not realizing he'd been followed into the kitchen.

"We made another batch after you tore into Kakuzu. I figured it would perk him up, apparently just put the guy to sleep." He laughed, setting the cup down to come up behind the shorter man and slip his srms around him as he preoared himself a mug. He didn't expect the surprised jerk from the guy, but when he melted back into the embrace with a content sigh, he felt his heart swell.

Moving too fast? Possibley, but he couldn't help himself. Just seeing the Uchiha's face did something to him, sent him into some kind of protector-mode. They boy always had bags under his eyes, no matter what had happened to him throughout the day, but they were magified now after such a long, stressful night. And just from the expression he'd been wearing when he walked out of what Kisame assumed was Hidan's room, and the longing shift in his eyes that had occurred when he's seen the larger man smiling at him...

Well, it was obvious that he needed some kind of support, whether it be emotional or just something to lean back on. Kisame could be both, he thought. After all, he was admittedly the one with the least troubles out of everyone in this apartment at the moment.

Itachi stayed there in that position, not moving, and Kisame held him, hunching over slightly to rest his chin on his head.

Maybe he was a guy, physically. But it astounded him, though really it shouldn't, how easy it was to forget that. How little thought it took just to stand there and hold him like he would any of his previous girlfriends, and how much better it seemed, how right it felt.

After his accident, people reacted to him differently, and he knew it probably was more associated with his eyes than his scars. They were noticeable, obviously, especially during the summer when he went without a shirt and the grotesque things that stretched from his abdomen all the way up to his neck were clearly visible. But he didn't think they were the main factor in the chsnge he received.

Eyes were windows to the soul, and with his altered coloring, it made people uncomfortable. Made him seem more intimidating, as if able to look through them the way Itachi's did.

That was one of the first things he'd noticed about the boy when he'd come to him looking for employment. His eyes were so dark, and naturally so. It fascinated him, because it was such an unnatural color. And they way he looked at Kisame that very first time they'd met, how his brows had arched up in surprise but not apprehension, appreciating him as if he were the most amazing and yet perfectly normal person in the world... well, damn, he should have known their lives would be intertwined somehow in the future.

"Well... Hidan has finally caught on." He said softly, not moving at all against the man's embrace.

"Huh. Wait.. caught on to what?"

"Everything."

"Eeeverything... meaninnng...?"

Itachi let out a half-laugh, half-sigh. "He's finally made the connection that we have. He's reacting the way I imagined he would as well. Complete rejection."

"...You mean he admitted that he like Kah-uuhhhh... that he likes him?"

"Yes, in a 'Hidan' sort of way. I can't tell if he's upset with me or just the realization in general."

"Why would he be mad at you?"

"Because he has no other outlet." He sighed again, relaxing a little further into Kisame. "He'll be okay, I think, once he comes to a decision. And that will make it easier on us as well."

"How do you figure that?"

"Because now that he's aware, the choice has been put in his hands. We no longer have a role to fill. He will either embrace it or refuse it, and either way we have no further influence on the matter."

"Huh... well that sucks. I had a chat..." He stopped again, reminding himself that Kakuzu was well within hearing distsnce should he suddenly wake up. "Well, uh. I thought maybe I was making progress on my end too." He said instead.

Itachi finally moved to support his own weight now, resuming his task of making himself coffee. "That's wonderful! Perhaps they'll get along now, at the very least." He turned around and smiled up at Kisame for a second, his cheeks slightly red, before ducking under the man's arm and slipping out of the way with his beverage.

"And, since we'll have light soon, I'm sure the doctor will be happy to know he can go get some rest in the comfort of his own home."

"You think the door's still stuck shut?" Kisame questioned without looking as he repeated the process Itachi had just finished.

"Oh I have no doupt. The temperature hasn't risen at all with the sun. I considered just using my hairdryer to melt the ice from the door, but we have no electricity..."

"I could probably just force the thing open, especially if Kakuzu'll help me out."

"You'll do no such thing! That outer door is almost entirely glass. Being frozen the way it is, it'll shatter if you try to force it."

"So? Isn't that your landlord's problem?" Kisame said, shrugging before he turned around and leaned back against the counter. He took a sip of his coffee, swallowing quickly and making a face after burning his tongue and upper lip.

"Well yes, but he's been looking for any reason he can to kick me out since Hidan moved in. He's not exactly a calm and quiet neighbor to the poor couple below us... he's already gotten enough complaints and we've hsd enough talks, adding destruction of property to the list would surely suffice him enough to evict us."

"Well yeah but I mean in a situation like this it wouldn't really be your fault. And you've got that Sabaku guy as your lawyer, he's never lost a case."

Itachi smiled, though rolling his eyes. "It would be indecent to break the man's door and then sue him after all the tounge-lashings he's probably received from our neighbors all on account of Hidan, Kisame."

He grunted and shrugged again, attempting to take another sip from his mug. "Well how are we supposed to leave then?"

Itachi was silent until Kisame looked up to make sure he'd heard. He did so only to find the Uchiha giving him a sly smile that simultaneously scared him and made his lebito lurch.

"I was thinking, perhaps, the window. The one behind my dresser was sheilded from the wind and ice by the evergreen in front of it. I think it was probably spared being frozen shut."

"You... want to climb out the window? In the snow and ice?"

"Not me no. I was thinking of having Hidan do it, but I don't think he will after our little chat. I can't imagine the Doctor possibley doing it..."

He let the sentence trail off there, making Kisame's brows crease in concern as it sunk in.

"So you want me to climb out that tiny window and shimmy my big ass down the side of the building?"

"Well, since you're volunteering..." Itachi said, with that catty-smirk of his.

"You know I'd love to go on an adventure like that, but I'd fall and break my neck just trying to squeeze out that thing. You don't think it would make more sense for you to do it?"

"Of course it doesn't!"

"I think it does though, you're small and light..."

"I am not small!"

"Shit, if you had a rope I could just lower you down, easy-peasey."

"I will not be lowered down like some escaping prisoner out of my bedroom window!"

"Well you think it would be better if your neighbors saw me sneaking out like that at 7 in the morning?"

Itachi paused at this, making a face as he chewed this over internally. "Well despite that, someone stronger than me has to be out there to shovel the snow out of the way and pull the door loose."

"A little manual labor won't kill you."

"Are you calling me lazy? Lazy and small?!"

"No! Not at all, I'm just saying it makes more sense for you to do it than me!"

He smiled sheepishly at the glaring Uchiha as the silence dragged on between their hushed arguement. He glanced over briefly to make sure Kakuzu was still asleep (he was) before looking back to the shorter but still terrifying man.

"Hn. I'm not doing it. I'll go talk to Hidan." He finally said, turning briskly to leave the kitchen. Kisame stared after him, a little saddened by the fact that he wouldn't get to see pristine Itachi do such a thing. Then he sipped on his coffee for a few heartbeats before his boyfriend (Wow, still sounded wierd) came quietly back into the kitchen, setting his cup down and crossing his arms, nearly pouting as he looked back up to the taller man.

Kisame could help the hopeful grin he wore. "He said no?"

"No. I didn't ask him..."

"Why not?"

"He's asleep... he's actually dead asleep in there even though he just slept the night before last. Usually it's at least a couple days in between... I couldn't bring myself to wake him."

Kisame's grin only widened as the man pouted further. "So, it's up to you then."

Itachi stared at him angrily a second before his features relaxed to concern. "I suppose it is, isn't it?" He sighed, reaching up to run a hand through his hair, touseling it and giving Kisame's stomache another jerk.

Damn, how could one person be so gorgeous?

"I don't even know if I have rope... I really don't want to have to climb down..."

"We can do it the old-fashioned way, tie some bedsheets together and just slide down-"

"Kisame this is already humiliating enough, I'm not going to make it worse by ruining my spare sheets." He interrupted, holding up a hand to halt the thought completely.

The taller man quieted himself, staring down at his coffee as if it were the most amusing thing in the world. It was garuntee'd to be entertaining no matter what method they used, he almost wanted to take Kakuzu up to share the moment with him, but the poor guy was pooped. And plus, he probably wouldn't find it quite so funny anyway...

"Well... let's go see if the damn thing will even open, first of all. Then we'll make more decisions." He said, abandonig his cup to start off again in the direction of the bedroom.

Kisame kept ahold of his, but followed just the same.

.

After failing to force the window open, Itachi instructed Kisame to try. He'd been able to pretty easily, which had irritated his poor boyfriend, which of course only made the bigger man laugh.

Itachi had opened his closet, which turned out to be huge, and disapeared inside, only to come back out a good ten minutes later claiming to have no rope or anything that could be used as rope.

Kisame had repeated the bedsheet idea, and after further bickering back and forth the Uchiha had begrudgingly dissappeared back to into his closet, grumbling the whole way, emerging again with a pile of black bedsheets.

"This is rediculous. I'm tempted just to make you two keep waiting until the power returns." He said, throwing them onto the bed.

"Well you know I wouldn't mind. But Kakuzu's on his last nerve out there..."

"I know." He sighed back wearily. "And my landlord said it could be any undetermined amount of time before the power comes back since the weather isn't predicted to clear up for awhile... This just seems excessive."

"Well, desperate times call for desperate measures."

"So they say..." He replied, picking up one of the folded hunks of fabric and handing it hesitantly to Kisame.

Feeling unneccessarily guilty, he'd promised the crestfallen man to replace the sheets, since they would have to have several tight knots tied into them and most likely would not be worth salvaging. Itachi had perked up a little bit then, at least until the time came when he had to crawl out the window.

Now he was squatting on his dresser, holding the end of the makeshift rope and twisting it uncertainly in his hands.

"This is absoloutly rediculous. I can't believe I agree'd to this."

Kisame laughed, standing before him, ready and prepared to lower him to the ground below. He wasn't worried, the slender man weighed no more than a housecat to him. "Not only that, it was your idea in the first place."

"Yes. I wish you would have slapped some sense into me."

"Well it is a good idea. Stop worrying about it, you're hidden from the street by that tree and I doupt anyone's going to be out in this weather at this hour to see you. The sooner you get it done, the sooner you can forget about it."

"Except the occasions when you remind me of course." The younger grumbled back.

"Well yeah, except for then."

Itachi sighed heavily one more time before his face hardened in determination. "Alright then, let's get this over with."

"You got it, babe."

Itachi looked up at him in surprise for just a second before covering it up with a dark glare. "If you drop me, Kisame Hoshigaki, it will be the last thing you ever do."

"I'd never dream of letting you fall, Itachi." He said back, receiving a touched smile in return before the Uchiha flattened himself and slid somehow gracefully backward until the sheets pulled tight in Kisame's hands.

They exchanged one last glance before the larger man lowered him out of sight.

-o-

The whole thing had gone rather smoothly as far as reaching the ground went. Itachi trusted Kisame fully, of course. He'd only said that last line because... well... he didn't really have a reason. He felt silly, getting butterflies just for the fact that Kisame had called him babe. He'd done it previous to this crazy night, but in a completley different text. Back then it had just been a sort of joke, and the raven-haired man had been able to accept it gracefully, giving the man nothing but a warm smile in return while he secretly wished for the day to come soon when he would call him that for another reason. And here it had come so suddenly out of nowhere, he had't been prepared at all.

It was a little irritating for it to have happened right then for the fact that he couldn't fully appreciate it, seeing as he was about to go about doing this rediculous task. But he did still love the sound of it, either way.

Kisame's complete and utter acceptsnce of their new relationship had surprised him, he had to admit. The man had been so uncertian about the whole thing, he'd expected him to take some time to warm up to the idea. Being held like that without warning had certianly been unexpected, though not unwelcome. Not in the least.

He smiled to himself as the bedsheet-rope lowered jerkily, due to the knots getting caught on the windowsill every so often. He looked up, seeing nothing but a cloudy sky and the brick wall of his apartment. And then he looked down, leaning to see over his shoulder and then letting out and embarrassing squeak of fright when the rest of his body tipped dangerously along with him. He went back to just clinging to the rope for dear life, content to do that. It wasn't more than 13 foot do the ground, surely he had to be almost there.

He cursed himself inwardly yet again for this terrible idea. Originally he'd planned on Kiame being the one to do it, he was going to use his charms to make the man commit the embarrassing act on his behalf so that he could watch in amusement. But when he'd made the comment about the neighbors seeing him sneak out, well... The Uchiha was embarrassed to say he hadn't thought of that.

The last thing he needed were more complaints from the expecting couple below him. They'd been trying to get Itachi and Hidan (Mainly Hidan) evicted for months now, most likely fearing the safety of their upcoming new baby. The smooth-talking man had thus far managed to consol his landlord and assure him that Hidan would behave himself, most times only to turn around and find the man-child doing something disruptive and loud.

It was certianly an exhausting existance, but what else could he do?

There were many times he did regret his decision to take his dear friend in and through that agree to take on all his troubles with him. Hidan was the only person who could make him feel as though he'd just run hundreds and hundreds of miles without even taking a single step.

There were times, just like anyone else, when he wondered why he was even still friends with the man. He'd never bothered to get his life together, fallen in with the worst crowd, had no discipline, no people skills... It really was like raising a child.

But, at least he was making progress, leaps and bounds, actually. He'd come so very far from where he once was. Thankfully, the two had not been re-acquainted when he went through his rehabilitation, but Itachi saw plenty of his own clients struggling terribley with giving up the drugs they were hopelessly addicted to. Especially with the sort Hidan had gotten into, he was not only lucky to be alive and not horribley marred for life inside and out, he was exceedingly strong for managing to kick the habit as easily as he did.

That was relitively speaking, of course, in no way had it been easy at all, but the zealot, with his undying determination, had dropped each and every narcotic cold-turkey. He was held in solitary confinement for a month after he had a huge meltdown and nearly killed a few of the workers at the Rehab clinic. But even in his maniacle rage he had not demanded to be given drugs.

Many people looked at Hidan and his poor mannerisms and only saw how far he had left to go. On occasions, Itachi admitted to doing such a thing, he was only human, after all. But it was stopping to remind himself of how far he had come that always brought things back into perspective.

Hell, just that conversation they'd had was proof enough. He put the pieces together all on his own (After of course Itachi had given him obvious clues) and had reacted much like he had foresaw. Of course he couldn't accept the troubled man to just accept it. It was, after all, one more thing in his life he would undoubtedly bee looked down upon for if he did pursue it. It was hard enough to embrace ones homosexual desires without hiding it shamefully away. But with a man twenty-so years one's senior? It certianly would be a battle... And Hidan was right to 'freak out' as he did.

He supposed things would play out the way they were meant to be, Sighing and shaking his head.

Relationships really were far, far too complicated.

Just then his feet were enveloped in a coldness that pushed up his pantlegs and squished into his boots and up against his skin. This elicited a yelp from him, and also caused him to accidentally release the rope, making him go falling backward into the snow after slapping a hand over his mouth.

He stayed in that position for a moment, sounding much like a raging Hidan inside his head as he looked around him and then up to the windowsill to see if anyone had heard that humiliating sound and come to investigate. He didn't see anyone, not even Kisame poked his head out the window to check on him, though it probably could have been hard seeing as he'd have to lean across his large dresser to do so.

At least he didn't call down to him to make sure he was okay and through that, alert everyone in the apartment and the one below to his presence.

God, he almost felt like a common theif, sneaking around like this.

He stood up, brushed the snow from him, adjusted his coat, and then tugged on the rope a couple times to signal to the man above to drag it back inside. Well, the deed was done, Thank God. Now he could get the snow off his landing, get that door open, and wash his hands of this night. It had certianly gotten the job done, but at what cost... he wondered. Hidan had taken a few steps forward, but he feared that the forced acquaintance between he and Dr. Hoku might have irreversabley damaged the older man. It was hard to tell, really, that damn Doctor was so hard to read...

"Itachi?" Came a deep voice from his left.

His body tensed as he turned slowly to regard none other than the male of the household below him, regarding him with confused interest and amusement as he puffed on a cigarette.

"What the hell are you doing?"

He cleared his throat. Damn it all. This was exactly what he had feared happening.

"Was that you that made that noise? I thought there was a dog begging for scraps on my patio or something." He went on when he idn't receiving an answer, reaching up to pull the cancer stick from his mouth and blow out a large cloud of smoke.

"Uh... Mr. Sarutobi... Hello." he sputtered out, clearing his throat. "Can I... borrow your snowshovel per-chance?"

"Well sure, but that doesn't answer my question." He said back light-hearted, shrugging.

Itachi reached up to awkardly scratch the back of his head. "We... got frozen inside over the night. I didn't want to break the door trying to force it open..."

"Ah, so you climbed out the window..." He finished for him, taking another drag of the cigarette. "You could've called us, I'd have helped you out of there."

Ah, that was right, the lower apartments actually had patios facing the opposite direction of the front entrances. But, he still wouldn't have asked for help from the man trying to make him lose his home, even if it probably was the easy-going guy's live-in girlfriend that was behind it all.

"I... hadn't thought of that..." He said sheepishly, clearing his throat again and standing there awkwardly as the bearded man regarded him.

He wouldn't bother hoping that the woman of the household wouldn't hear about this. If he was lucky perhaps she would at least wait to waddle up his stairs and pound on his door before giving him a piece of her mind. Even though in reality Itachi had done absolutly nothing that involved her or her family (besides borrowing a snow shovel) she was sure to get involved in it, for the acclaimed safety of her unborn child.

He may be an expert on general psychology, anthropology, and the inner workings of the physical workings of the human mind, but he could swear on his father's grave that women were quite simply a whole different species.

"Well, anyway. I'll get you a shovel before Kurenai comes out here and jumps my ass for one thing or the other. Never have kids, Mister Uchiha." He said, laughing afterward as if he'd said some hysterical joke.

Itachi glared after him.

Juvenile.

They knew damn well he was gay, it was one of the reasons they hated him so much, though he, himself, had never done anything to them personally.

He sighed heavily, a dark cloud hovering over him as he followed after the man.

-o-

Kakuzu awoke to the bellowing sound of Kisame's uncontrollable laughter, which of course, put him instantly in an even worse mood than he had been.

"Damn you Hoshigaki," He growled, leaning forward and rubbing his eyes as the man emerged from the hallway, still laughing. "Can't you keep your mouth shut for ten minutes?"

"Oh Kakuzu! You missed it!" He cried between gasps for air. "Itachi climbed out the window so he could go get the door open and the fucking neighbor caught him in the act and then made a joke about him having kids! Oh God it was classic!" He said, then becoming suddenly serious. "He's gonna be so pissed when he gets back in here..." The somberness in his lasted only another minute before his signature smile stretched widely back across his face and he let loose a few more light-hearted chuckles.

"What the hell are you on about?" The older man said groggily, checking his watch for the time and pushing the image Kisame had put in his head away. It was comical, imagining someone like that Uchiha boy doing something like that. It was also idiotic at the same time. Perhaps if the man-woman had some sort of selection of tools, Kakuzu could have easily just popped the bolts from the hinges and pried the door off completley. Or hell, he could even have just chipped away at the ice with a mere flathead screwdriver and a hammer.

His eyes came back into focus as his groggy mind pushed away the remnants of sleep, and then narrowed in anger. Bloody hell, almost 8 in the morning. He'd slept in that terrible position for nearly an hour. Oh dear Jackson, no wonder his entire body felt as if he'd had a wrestling match with a semi-truck.

"Itachi. He climbed out his bedroom window and I lowered him down to the ground with a rope we made of bedsheets. he wanted to get the door open as soon as possible so we can get your grumpy ass home." Kisame explained, going to the front door and pulling it open with a little bit of effort. It had apparently frozen shut again.

The Doctor grunted in response, and looked around the room as he massaged the back of his neck there where he sat. There was no sign of Hidan, that was a good omen, at least. He started to ask where he was, then thought better of it.

Right, he didn't care where he was, as long as he wasn't here. But really... he needed to use the restroom, and he didn't want that monochromatic idiot popping up out of nowhere.

His eyes scanned the small space of the apartment, concluding only that the idiot must obviously still be in his room, still throwing his tantrum. Well... good. He could stay in there. He wasn't going to apologize, never in a million years. Though that little bit of sleep somewhat helped clear things up, though really the talk He'd had with Kisame had been the biggest helper, though he'd never admit it.

He understood better now Hidan's rediculous personality. Kakuzu had been raised for at least a portion of his life with teachings instilled by his mother. Though she'd been on bedrest for most of their little talks, he still received an idea and guidance of how he was supposed to act, given basics of the road he was supposed to walk down in life to be sucessful.

Hidan had none of that. The boy really had not be raised at all, he'd only survived. He'd done whatever he needed to do to assure he'd be alive tomorrow, disregarding saftey and health matters in exchange for just one second of being able to relax and have a good time. He had never gotten to be a real kid, had never been shown how to behave like an adult, and so now remained permanently in a state between both of them.

"Hey!" Kisame said out the front door, waving to someone. "How'd it go?" He laughed, just before a ball of snow smacked into the door right where his face was, rattling the thing terribley.

This of course only made the man chuckle more. "Hey now! You're gonna break the door! That's the whole reason you climbed out of there!"

"I'm going to strangle you when I get in there." Itachi's muffled voice floated in from the other side of the door, Kakuzu assumed.

He rolled his eyes at this and heaved himself up off the couch. At least these kids were finally getting off their asses and doing something useful. And luckily enough it was only Sunday, still the weekend, which meant he could go get some real rest after he escaped this accursed apartment.

At least the objective was clearer here. The Uchiha was doing well, coming at the boy from all the directions he thought might provide results. But he was only a child himself. So, If Kakuzu were going to be stuck with Hidan as an employee, he supposed his previous destination his thoughts had arrived at still stood true.

He had to fix the boy.

He stretched his back, wincing when it cracked a couple times, and straightened himself out. He looked over to regard Kisame, still smirking at the Uchiha boy through the window. Again he rolled his eyes and started off down the hall, seeing as there wasn't anywhere else the bathroom could be.

He smoothed his hair back and rubbed at his eyes again, a little surprised at how much more comfortable he felt now in this little apartment. Mere hours ago when he'd arrived he'd been off-put just to move from the table, but after everything that had happened, the famililarity had come pouring in. Falling asleep more than once the way he had, and being left alone while Kisame and Itachi engaged in their horseplay... It was strange. He felt a strange sense of warmth, coziness, almost like he could just go lay down back on the courch and doze off for a few more hours.

He shook his head, no, surely that was just the lingering sleep as well as the lack of it causing that. His brain and body trying to communicate with him that it desperatley wanted rest. Yes, this made sense. And was good, seeing as that Uchiha was soon to get the door open. He'd already decided not to mess around with this taxi-cab business, once that door was open he'd be out and on his way back to his car.

He was almost to the bathroom now, not realizing he'd stopped in the middle of the hall in thought. He looked at the three closed doors, one directly to the left of him now, another also on his left but down at the very end of the hall, This he assumed to be Itachi's given what the feminine man had said to Kisame earlier in the night. And there was one door to his right centered perfectly between the other two, as well as what looked to be a cabinet just a little bit further than that.

Right... so he had two different doors to chose from. It wasn't hard to choose, though, seeing as most often the door with the towel and supply closet beside it would likely be the bathroom. and having made up his mind, he began to take a step forward when the door beside him suddenly opened. It wasn't thrown open wildly, but just the opening of it surprised him so much that he couldn't move when a small body came rushing out, and of course, slammed right into him.

Strictly by reflexes he caught himself from falling back against the opposing wall, wrapping his other arm around the person who'd collided with him to keep them from falling as well. He regretted it immediatly after this, of course, realizing that the only person it could be is...

He looked down to a fidgeting albino, who in turn looked up and blinked sleepily at him, hair standing straight up on one side. He was only stared at, or, stared thorugh for a few moments by those soft, pink eyes. He looked back down at him, usure of why exactly he remained there in that spot, with his hand resting strangley comfortable against the younger mans unclothed ribcage.

"Oh... hey.." Hidan's sleep-heavy voice said, before he yawned and rubbed at his eyes with the backs of his hands. He placed them then on Kakuzu's stomache, smacking his lips a few times as if to get some bad taste from his mouth, letting the sleepy eyes trail down the elder's chest.

Kakuzu almost slapped himself then, unable to force himself into movement as he remained there in that position, and unable to stop himself from staring down at the pitiful, childish, adorable man in his arms.

Luckily and also unluckily, Hidan seemed to come to his senses at that exact moment, looking back up at him with a tired smile for only three heartbeats before his eyes suddenly focused and stretched wide

"WHAT THE FUCK!?" He shouted, shoving himself free of the bigger man, who didn't budge at all, which only resulted in Hidan falling backward onto his ass in the doorway of his bedroom.

"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING YOU CREEPER!?" He shouted again, scrambling up to his feet. "Jesus christ-WHY ARE YOU STILL IN MY GODDAMN HOUSE!?"

"Would you quit your insufferable shouting you idiot!" Kakuzu snarled back, "You're the one who came barrelling out of that room and ran into me." He turned to continue to the bathroom, before a pale blur raced past him, growling a quick "Go Fuck yourself Old man, the bathroom's mine." as it went.

The door slammed shut in his face just as he reached it, and he inhaled as big a breath as he could and held it, trying desperatley to keep himself from just kicking the damn thing in and beating the hell out of that disrespectful little shit like he so badley wanted to.

Instead he whirled around, storming back out into the livingroom. Dammit, why the fuck had he just stood there like that? Why didn't he just shove the little motherfucker away, maybe he would have hit his head on the small dresser just inside the door and fell into a coma. He grinned at this, now that would be a damn good start to a Sunday.

Just as he re-entered the room, Kisame burst into a cheer, and the Uchiha boy came through the door, stomping off the snow clinging thickly to his boots, shivering violently.

"Alriiiight! Kakuzu, look! You're free!"

He only grunted in response, regarding the youngest of the three. he gave him a grateful nod, and Itachi returned it, or so he thought, he was still so tense and shaking so much that it was hard to tell.

"More Coffee..." The boy breathed, tossing down the snow shovel he'd been tightly holding onto and proceeding to the kitchen. He was followed of course by an all-too-cheery Kisame.

Kakuzu sighed in relief and moved to the dining table, slipping back into his coat. Well, the one perk to being a man, you could piss just about anywhere. He didn't need a bathroom anyway, stupid brat. He spoke loudly to Kisame as he shrugged fully into the cloth and straightened the collar. "I'm going to save waiting on a cab and just walk back to my car, Kisame. Are you going to join me or remain here?"

"Oh damn, I left my cup in the room.." The man muttered, before whirling around and stepping to the other side of the table. "Yeah man, I'll go with you. You're going now?"

"Yes. I want to go home."

"Alright, I'll be out there in just a second."

"Make it quick." He growled, knowing his friend was likely just going to get some sort of goodbye tongue. He didn't want to be around for it, and so continued outside, going carefully down the snow-piled steps.

Someone needed to teach that Itachi how to properly scoop snow.

"Doctor Hoku?" A feminine voice said just as he made it to ground level. He turned warily to see the new presence, greeted by the very client that had missed her appointment on Friday, providing the free time in which Hidan had had that rediculous little tantrum.

His eyes narrowed, that bitch, if she'd have been there then Kakuzu wouldn't have had the chance to get on the phone with Sasori, which wouldn't have made him come to the decision to talk to Hidan about 'dropping pretenses'.

"Miss Yuhi, Good morning." He ground out.

"Doctor, please tell me you don't associate with those men up there..." She said, not bothering to return the greeting.

He scowled at her. She'd always been a snobby sort of woman, though he'd never paid it any mind before. For some reason it irritated him now. Probably for all the reasons he's been continually using to rationalize all his reactions since this terrible adventure began.

"Hidan San is my new secretary..." He said, watching her eyes go wide in horror.

"You hired him!? Doctor, I don't know if you're aware of this or not but that man is a nuisance, a felon, and insane. I don't think you want him around your patients-"

"Excuse me, Miss Yuhi." He interrupted roughly. "But I'm perfectly capable of picking my own employees. Hidan does just fine with the tasks that I give him, I've no reason to think Ill of him."

What was he doing? Why was he defending the idiot?

Because, this bitch needed to be put in her place, telling him who he should and shouldn't hire. As if he gave a damn about her opinion on the matter.

That didn't mean he had to defend Hidan...

Yes it did! He was a businessman with a respectible business and couldn't let any sort of weakness show. So waht if he was only human, and made errors. These people saw him as their doctor, or more clearly, as more than human. Their health and occasional lives were in his hands, a decision this horrible could not be made public.

Hidan had a reputation, just like him, but that child had only been here so long, surely his twenty-plus years of high-standings would be enough to pull his ass out of this. If he showed confidence in Hidan, perhaps the rest of the town might give him a chance as well.

Uh.. not that he wanted to help Hidan. This was strictly to save himself.

"Well, I'm giving you reason, doctor. I don't think I want to continue putting my child in your care if you have people like him working for you."

His eyes narrowed at this. Stupid cunt, he'd had numerous chats about how she'd be better off having her baby delivered at a large hospital, and here she was suddenly threatening to take her business away from all because of Hidan, who didn't have anything to do with his practices. Well, as if he gave a damn. There are plenty of other people in this town who regarded him highly, he didn't need her money anyway.

"You missed your last apointment anyway, Miss Yuhi. Considering how close your due date is, that could be called carelessness. Perhaps I don't want you as a patient, seeing as you can't pay attention to such small details. I can't imagine how you'll raise that child."

Her glossy red lips popped open as she gasped in surprise, brows furrowing in anger. He smiled shortly at her before turning to continue on his way, Kisame could catch up, he'd done more than enough for that man in one night anyway.

He smiled to himself, trudging through the snow and pulling his coat tighter around himself. He shoved his hands in his pockets. At the very least, this had gotten him out of having to birthe her child. He was a doctor, yes, but that didn't mean he enjoyed looking at the disgusting inner-workings of the female body. This was why he didn't not work at a real hospital, so he did not have to attend to all the usual, more disgusting matters, but could still reap the same pay benefits.

He supposed that was at least one thing he could give credit to the brat for... Though not out loud. Never out loud.

"Good Day, Miss Yuhi."

A/N-

Holylongassfuckinggoddamnchapter!

Ugh... so... fucking... sleepy...

Whew, Holy shit guys. That was a lot. Lol, but I wanted to cram it all into this one because... well... I don't really know...

Anyway, the few chapters after this one may or may not be short. There's going to be a bit of a time skip, to help move things along, and I'm thinking probably each character, or each couple at the very least will have their own chapter in which I explain everything that happened during the skip, both specific instances and just generalizations. I don't really have specifics planned, basically just like a general outline of what I want to happen, so, I can't really give out any more spoilers than that. xD

Now that everyone (except Kakuzu) is pretty well ont he same page with each other, things can actually start happening and everyone (except kakuzu) can move the fuck on with their lives, seeing as this one night was like 4 chapters long. Gawd. xD

So! A shitload happened in this chapter, hopefully you're all satisfied. We learned a little bit more about Kakuzu's life, touched down a little bit on Kisame's history, and on the two's friendship. Hidan made some revelations, freaked the fuck out, and then had a fluffy moment, (awe) and of course there was some moderate Kisaita fluff and then some comic relief for you, at poor Itachi's expense.

xD I'm sorry, some of these random idea's just come up randomly in conversations I have with Fluffyisemo when asking for direction with the story, and they're just so hilarious, I have to implement them. And most times they end up working out weirdly well in accordance with the plot.

I swear guys, I really don't even plan this shit. It just happens...

Also, if you didn't see on the last chapter, Hidan's picture is finally up on my deviantart. I don't know why it's so damn hard for me to draw him, but hopefully it's decent enough. Check it out if you have time.

Merr... anyway... I think that's all I wanted to sayyyyy... Sooo I guess, forgive the typos and errors and any slashes I forgot. This was re-read in a very sleepy rush, so there's probably a lot of them. forgive me, I'm only human. T-T

I still love you all. But not in a gay way.

... Well... maybe in a gay way... :D

And most importantly, don't forget to review.

See you next chapter, guys. :3