A/N- Uuugh... Oh hi. Still alive guys, sorry this update took so freekin' long. My parents came down for the weekend and my dad and I caught up on Dr. Who (haha Kuzu needs a Tardis) for two days straight, so didn't get a chance to do writing. Then, on Mondays when I usually write, we finally fell into the Netflix phenomenon and I accidentally got addicted, then Tuesday went to work and got my ass ripped from my boss about not using phones on the job anymore, So I can no longer write at work.
So, things are going to be slowing down considerabley.
But... I'll stop rambling on about personal information you don't care about anyway and get to it. *cracks knuckles*
FOLLOW YOUR ARROW
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The following months passed by in a dizzying series of motion and non-motion alike.
Slowly at first, as Hidan became more acclimated to his work schedule, as he constantly warred within himself each and every day about this enormous, yet atomic decision he had yet to make. Forcing himself to remain neutral around his boss, pushing back the confusing emotions so that he could think just clearly enough to do his job. Having to look at that man 5 days a week, for hours and hours on end, and not have some sort of panic attack from the disturbing thoughts that raced through his head. Convincing himself that he did not like Kakuzu, however temporarily it may last, just so that he could get through one more day.
For two weeks the torture of a cold lasted in him, and hit it's peak the weekend after those horrible circumstances had occurred, and remained at that climax point until the following Tuesday. One of the many, many things that confused him to the point of eerily calm hysteria occurred on the Monday just before this, just as he'd returned to work for the start of the second entire week he'd been working there.
He blew his nose for the umpteenth time, sounding like a baby elephant and of course having not one single drop of the goddamn blasphemous snot clogging his sinuses come out.
He stared at the dry tissue in a scowl. How the fuck did that even work? Strange and disgusting liquds continuously leak from his face, he wipes and wipes all day until he damn nostrils are so chafed and raw that he briefly considers just grabbing a pocketknife and cutting them off... Yet here when he blows his nose, all the sudden there's nothing in there, but he's still stuffed up.
He tried again, the sound bouncing off the walls and sounding like some terrible attempt at playing the trumpet. This made him laugh, for some reason he couldn't understand, but attributed it to having the miniscule amount of sleep he normally got stripped from him by this damn demon possessing his body.
Stupid fucking colds.
Sick and miserable and disgusting, but not sick and miserable and disgusting enough to miss work for.
His wheezing chuckle turned quickly into a coughing fit, and he had to use the kleenex still in his hand to quickly slap over his mouth as he hacked, and more disgusting yellowish phlegm came flying up his throat and out onto the cloth.
He didn't bother looking at this after he regained control of himself, mostly because EEWWW!, and crumpled it up to weakly toss it into the trashcan. He followed this action after by dramatically letting his arms flop onto the desk, followed by a hoarse groan, and let his head slam down onto his forearms.
"Would you stop that infernal hacking already?" Kakuzu voice came bursting in, as the man himself came strolling into Hidan's work quarter's through the examination room.
"I would if I could, Dr. Satan. Fuckin' believe you, me." He said back, his voice nasally and cracking even at the low volume he used. He sniffed heavily again, unable to actually get any air through his nose and sending himself into another coughing fit from the small pressure it exerted into his lungs.
When he'd finished, he looked wearily up at Kakuzu, who had stopped there in his tracks to stare at him just as goddamn stoic and unreadable as ever. He raised a brow, stretching his face to some emotion similar to sarcastic anger.
"Well? Hurry up and fucking nag at me and then get the fuck out of here. I'm miserable enough without having to look at your ugly fucking mug." Though it wasn't ugly, it was nice. Very nice, and he didn't mind getting to look at it at all.
Kakuzu grunted and took a step toward him, extending the papers in his hands. "We're running low of a few supplies. I made a list here and printed out the repitiore of numbers that fills the needs for these items. You're going to call them in."
"Me? But I thought you handled all the financial shit." Hidan said in that annoying damn nasally voice that made him want to punch himself in the face.
Kakuzu pulled the paper just out of reach before the younger could latch onto them, eyes narrowing. "I usually do. Go wash your hands before you touch these."
The pale face contorted in annoyance, and he leaned pack to reach into the pocket of his jeans, pulling out what looked like a fat marker. He gave the elder man a toothy grin and popped the cap off. "Fuck that, having to do that shit's annoying. 'Tachi got me this convenient little shitter. Spray-on hand sanatizer. Ain't he a genious?" He said, taking off the cap with a small 'pop' and spraying it onto his opposing palm. He replaced the item into his pockets, rubbed his hands all over each other and then held them up, wiggling his fingers. "All clean! Now gimme."
With an irritated growl, the Doctor extended the papers once again, having them snatched out of his hands by a disturbingly eager albino. His eyes narrowed further in aggrivation. "Do not accept any of the 'special offers' they'll be showering you with. Order the supplies on that list, and ONLY the supplies on that list. If you get anything else, I'll throttle you."
"Tch. Go ahead. I'll call the Union and get your ass canned."
"Just get to work and stop blowing that trunk of yours."
"Hey fuck you, it's not my fault I'm sick. You could just let me stay home."
"And you could sign a resignation slip."
"Not a chance, shit-eater."
"Then get back to work." He said finally, turning with a whirl of his pristine-white labcoat and dissapearing from the room.
Hidan twirled a complete circle in his office chair before coming to a stop facing his desk. He stared back and forth between the papers he set down gently there, and the phone, for a moment before sighing.
Kakuzu never let him do anything that involved spending money. At least not all last week he hadn't. Not only had he not let him do it, but he'd stated repeatedly that the old man would be long dead and buried before Hidan would ever be allowed to go near the clinic's monetary workings. And now all the sudden he was letting him do it.
Surely the scrooge couldn't just be too busy. That was all he cared about, was money. He'd make time.
He clenched his eyes shut and put his head down into his hands.
No, Don't turn this into a big deal. Don't think so much into it. He's not starting to like you, how could he? You haven't even really been doing anything... He told himself.
Well, that wasn't true. He'd been doing everything in his power to do a damn good job with whatever task Kakuzu gave him. Every night last week he'd been sent home with insurance papers, which he'd dutifully stayed up and made sure to finish, (always with Itachi's help) and had actually helped the Doctor, through this, catch up onto all his recent unpaid bills. Whenever Hidan found himself with free time, he made copies of the schedule papers for the day ahead, pulled all the charts, checked the insurances, and left them on the counter in the examination room in a neat pile for the next day.
Within the last week, he somehow fell into a sort of rhytem as far as answering the phones goes. After rummaging through the drawers once again, he'd found an old, unused scheduling book, and had turned this secondary book into a record of calls. He never transferred a phone call back to his Boss's office, instead pulled out the original scheduleing books with the appointments, comparing the two, and informing them of a time when he would be free, and would therefore call them back. Then he'd write it down in the second book. Through this, he'd not only organized the older man's time better, he saved himself the trouble of having to run back and forth to that back room only to get barked at for 'not having the time right now, tell them to call back later'.
He rubbed his chin in thought, grabbing a highlighter and letting his brows crease in concentration as he reviewed the list absently while still lost in thought.
Perhaps that was why Kakuzu suddenly thought him trustworthy enough to handle such a task. Hidan of course, still hadn't realized exactly what he'd done just through those few simple things. Hell, idea's popped into his head like that all the time, he just went with it, not really thinking much of it other than the fact that it would make it less likely for him to get all confused and screw up.
But maybe... maybe this was that old bastards ass-backward way of showing him he appreciated it?
Tch, no Hidan, no.
This was probably just some attempt to get him to fuck up. Giving him harder and more delicate missions.
Damn that asshole.
He scowled, pulling the phone over to him and getting ready to punch in the first number when he felt a strange sensation, the feeling that he was being watched. He turned back to the door to the examination room, not really expecting anything to be there, and thus, jumping terribley and letting out a loud swear when the Doctor actually was standing there silently.
"For fuck's sake! What the hell are you doing lurking there you creepy ass fucking old bastard!?"
"Watching you sit there and waste time and money."
"I wasn't wasting time! I was going over-"
"You don't need to go over the list. I already doublechecked it."
"Yeah well you didn't do it very fucking well because we're out of fucking Saftey-pops too. You gave the last one to that Konohamaru kid. Who was way to fucking old for goddamn sucker, by the fucking way. It's pathetic enough that he cried from a measly flu shot, don't fucking reward him for being a pussy."
Kakuzu was silent at this, still not having moved from his position. After a few everlasting moments of soundless stareing, Hidan fidgeted in his seat.
"Well what the fuck do you want? Don't you have shit to do?"
Still saying nothing, the larger man moved forward to stand in front of him, making Hidan swallow heavily and lean slightly backward in unease. He forced himself to keep looking at the taller man, towering over him since he was still sitting down, even though his instincts were telling him to advert his eyes. Especially when that weird sort of musky scent invaded his nostrils. Kakuzu's cologne? Or just his natural scent... It was too strong to be natural, he thought, but he could easily imagine it being so.
It was hard to describe. Masculine completley, it was nothing like the new male deodorant they came out with, all that Axe* and Old Spice* that teenage guys (and Hidan) used. Something about it was... just weirdly comforting. Made him think of laying in a warm bed under a fuzzy blanket made of some mixture of satin and fleece...
He was brought back to attention when the man's hand shifted in his pocket, and a sort of rattling came out of it. He flinched for some reason even he wasn't sure of when the Doctor pulled the Item free and set it on the desk, probably harder than neccessary.
"Take these, pop them like candy every time you can spare a moment." His deep voice ground out, before he turned and started on his way presumabley back to his office. "I'm tired of hearing your damn complaining, and since you refuse to drink any orange juice, this will suffice. And if I catch you sitting there doing nothing again, I have no problem assigning you more work."
Hidan blinked in confusion for a moment before he ripped his eyes away from stareing at the man's backside as he dissapeared around the corner and focused on the plastic pill-bottle now sitting on his desk.
'Vitamin C -500 mg Tablets' the label read, with a picture of a half-peeled orange next to it.
He stared for a few heartbeats, before finally succumbing to his curiosity and hesitantly reaching out to snatch up the jar and pop the lid off.
'Look at that, not even child-proof. How fucking considerate... dick.'
Strange occurances such as these had been continuously happening. Weird little things that Hidan knew and recognized as uncharacteristic, but couldn't bring himself to mention to the old man or pursue for several different reasons. The first being he was fucking confused as fuck.
Since that saturday night when the elder man had been forced to stay the night at Hidan and itachi's apartment, he'd returned to the behavior he'd elicited that very first day before he'd been aware of Hidan's background information. Insulting him for no reason, challenging his intelligence, instigating fights and bickering matches for absolutly no reason, as far as Hidan could see. And the albino really was doing his best to just put up with it, but it wasn't as if he could just sit there and let the fucking asshole act like that towards him. It had become equally obvious to the two that they were stuck with each other, each of them being the stubborn men that they were. Kakuzu would not (and could not) fire Hidan, and Hidan would not quit. And because of this, it seemed all the gloves had come off as far as their relationship went. Occasionally the violence between the two even reverted to a physical nature. Nothing more ever than punches on the shoulder or hard whacks upside the back of the head, Hidan almost always being the victim due to the fact that that shitter of an old man was made of fucking stone or something and every time he tried to strike back he usually ended up hurting himself more than Dr. Hoku. And yet neither of them ever gave in. Usually it just ended up with someone getting too frustrated to continue the arguement and walking away, leaving the other grinning to themselves in silent, momentary victory.
That was easy to understand though, the confusing part was the random little moments when Kakuzu was actually nice to him. Like the situation that had occurred then with his cold. They sent Hidan's head into beehive mode again, usually frustrating him to the point where he just disregarded the action completley simply to spare himself th headache of toiling over it the way he did.
The mixed messages were so hard to understand. The doctor did these insignificant little favors for him, giving him more responisbilities, or medicine to help him, the occasional bit of heavily-camoflauged advice, and on very, VERY rare occasions, some sort of wayward compliment, usually followed very quickly by an insult.
The most confusing thing about these is that they were so neutral, the way he went about it. They could be taken and run with in either direction if you didn't really stop and think about it. This was what usually got his head spinning, was trying to determine whether or not these things actually were what he suspected them to be, or if they meant nothing at all and were just random things that the Doctor did to confuse him and piss him off and therefore trick him into becoming so overwhelmed that he would simply give up and quit.
Really, there was no way to make sense of it.
Damn this stupid goddamn brain!
.
The best part of his week, in the months following that, were, of course, the weekends. Though not for the reason's most people had.
Hidan had become a shut-in, which of course worried Itachi and apparently spurred him into becoming an annoying, nosy, nuisance of a roommate. As the albino rarely left his room anymore, Itachi seemed to be constantly knocking, demanding Hidan come out and do something with him, even offering to watch the disgusting sort of movies that Hidan was into, offering to make him his favorite meals, or going out to eat. Bribing him by claiming to let the zealot drive his car to the grocery store, if only he'd just get out of that room and go with him.
On most occasions, Hidan obliged reluctantly. Only for the fact that, despite everything new and captivating that he busied himself with, he was still Hidan. He would never, EVER say no to being spoiled, especially when he didn't have to beg, or even ask.
These little occurances however grew old after a few more months passed by. Mainly, after Hidan got his first paycheck and used it to buy something that pretty well made leaving his room for anything other than using the toilet or eating, obsolete.
"UCHIHA! WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU!" He's shouted excitedly, bursting through the front door once again. He couldn't withhold his excitement, he's already whooped and hollared right in Kakuzu's big dumb face, doing a small dance that would have been humiliating had he not been so damn happy before taking off and sprinting the whole way across town to the apartment.
Even now he stood in the doorway, panting heavily with little puffs of white still flowing from his mouth thanks to the door he'd left wide open behind him.
"ITACHI GODDAMmIT GET YOUR FUCKING ASS OUT HERE!" He bellowed again, whirling around and kicking the door shut, not bothering to stomp the snow from his boots as he vaulted over 'his' couch and ran down the hallway.
The bathroom door swung open just as he reached it, and he and his roommate collided with each other painfully, with Itachi falling back onto the linolium and Hidan crashing back into the wall. He was back on his feet within half a second though, only to leap forward like a damn dog and pin his frantically confused roommate to the floor.
"Hidan for God's sake what the hell-"
"Look what I fucking got today!" He interrupted excitedly, shoving the small piece of paper so close to the man's face that there was no possible way he could read it.
"What-"
"I got paid motherfucker! Look at that shit! Look at all the fucking numbers! Look at it!" He shouted again, now actually putting the check flush against Itachi's face, who's relaxed down back onto the floor, sighing in annoyance.
"Hidan, please get off me."
"Are you looking?"
"I can't see anything, you have it against my eyes!"
"Well open them up and look!"
"Hidan! Get the hell off!"
With an irritated growl, Hidan pushed himself back up to a standing position, extending a hand to help his roommate up off the cold floor.
"Oh hey, your nose is bleeding." He said calmly, pointing his index finger a mere millimeter away from the Uchiha's petite nose. The raven-hair whirled to the mirror, scowling, and then swiped a few tissues from the box on the back of the toilet.
"Probably from running into your dense head..." He muttered, using his free hand that wasn't holding the kleenex to his nose to press against his head. "Oh God, I have a terrible headache now..."
"Tch, don't worry about it, I'll buy you an icepack. I can do that now cause LOOK I FUCKING GOT PAID!" Hidan said again, nearly bouncing up and down with excitement, holding the small piece of paper up that had just a small drop of blood on the lower right-hand corner.
"Good Lord Hidan, stop shouting." Itachi said, snatching the check from the man's hands to study it further. "You act as if it's the strangest thing in the world to get paid by your job." He mumbled, eyes squinted as he looked at it.
"Wil you just shut up and look at how fucking much I got? That's fucking insane right? I've NEVER made that much in a month at ANY fucking job I've ever had before."
Itachi's brows creased before he turned to hand the small piece of paper back to his roommate. He pulled the tissue from his nose and tossed it in the trash, regarding his reflection in the mirror to determine if it was still bleeding or not. "Yes, I thought you said you were getting minimum wage?"
"I am."
"You're sure?"
"That's what he said."
"That's quite a bit of money Hidan..." Itachi said uncertianly.
"Yeah I know. It's from all those fucking extra hours in the morning and night, I end up building way more than 40 hours so I get paid time and a half for everything past that. And I've been working through most of my breaks, except lunch because you and that fucking asshole keep making me eat... But I just scarf it down and get back to work, only takes like 15 minutes."
"You haven't been taking your breaks? When do you smoke?"
"I don't. I just wait till we get off and have one while I'm waiting for you to come get me."
"You go all day without a cigarrette?!"
"Uh, yeah. That's what I just fucking said. And it obviously fucking paid off because LOOK AT THIS SHIT! ALMOST TWO AND A HALF THOUSAND FUCKING DOLLARS!" He shouted once more, slapping the check onto Itachi's face again.
The shorter man pushed it off with an aggrivated growl. "Well that's wonderful, now you can start paying off your dept to Dr. Nara. And your hospital bills, and criminal fines, and everything else you owe money too." He paused for a moment, looking Hidan up and down. "And most importantly, get yourself a decent coat."
Hidan waved this away, whirling to move quickly back to the livingroom. "Yeah yeah, I'll do that later. There's something I need first though."
Itachi followed, another tissue held to his nose. "Hidan, you need to be very careful with how you spend your money, you owe the state and government quite a bit. You have to get your debts paid off and behind you so you can start your life back up."
Hidan whirled, anger flashing through him momentarily. Anger and Hurt.
"What? Trying to get rid of me or somethin'? You want me out of your life that bad huh?"
"What? That's not what I meant at all."
"Oooh yeah, You want your place back to yourself so you have somewhere private for you and Shark-dick to fuck."
"Hidan, first of all, he has his own place, and for the millionth time we have not had sex and don't plan to for awhile. But that's irrelevant. I don't want you out, I'm just trying to help you. I thought you wanted to get back on your feet?"
Hidan blinked, clearing his throat. Right, right, stupid brain. This was just the beginning of some meltdown. It had to be, how else could he be angry right now, he had enough money to get everything he needed. And it wasn't even that that made his heart pound so hard with excitement. It was the fact that he had earned every single scent of it, all on his own. It was the fact that Kakuzu, the fucking scrooge and money-grubber of the century, had looked at him with such disdain when he'd handed him the silly piece of paper. That he had won a very large battle against the man fair and square, robbed him of one of the things he loved most through determination and dedication. The money itself could burn, as far as he was concerned...
But, there WAS something he needed. See, when he had the chance, he went to the library, printing out papers and informations he would need to go about learning this hobby that had become his second obsession. He was excited for it, really, and consatntly thanked God for the idea to finally pop into his head, for the determintion to finally come to him for him to care enough to pursue this endeavor. And Itachi, of course, for starting it all with just that one little comment.
But, learning off of paper only went so far with Hidan, he was a hands-on type of guy, unsurprisingly. And since he didn't know of anyone to help teach him in person, he had to find some way to get ahold of an old buddy he'd met in one of the psychiatric wards he'd been in that he knew could help him. He needed something to look at, hear, watch, and imitate. And that couldn't be done with just a cell phone. So, more intricate technology was called for.
"I'm gonna be fucking responsible, 'Tachi. Calm your tits." He chuckled, "But we need to go fucking Wal-mart*. 'Cause like I said, there's something I need."
"And what is that?"
"Just something."
"You know I'm not going to take you unless you tell me."
Hidan sighed angrily and dramatically. "Jesus fucking christ I need a goddamn Laptop okay?"
Itachi's face shifted to surprise at this. "A laptop? Why?"
"Just fucking because, goddamn! It's a fucking secret okay! I told you what I'm getting so let's fucking go!" Hidan shouted, taking large steps over to the front door.
"Now wait a minute Hida! I can respect your privacy but really, just out of curiosity, what do you need a laptop for?" He cocked his hip now, raising a brow in a disgustingly embarrasing pose of a bitchy female.
Hidan scoffed at this, rolling his eyes. "I need to get back in touch with an old friend. I wanna use that Skype* shit everyone always talks about."
"Who and why?" Itachi persisted, making Hidan grit his teeth.
This was it, the beggining point where he would have to start lieing just to keep his secret hobby a secret. right now was the deciding point, he was at the fork in the road, with one path leading down into an ugly, infested,miserabley forest of untruths, the other a sunshiney clear path of honesty. One the one hand, lieing to Itachi would not only piss him off, but make the albino lose the Uchiha's trust, even though it wasn't a big fucking deal... On the other hand, lieing would get the bastard off his back and let him resume on his way without having to take the annoying amount of time it would take to explain.
He opted to make his own road. To lie, without lieing. To be honest, without telling the whole truth.
"Because. I'm trying to get a hobby." He started, eyes flicking around the room as he processed this thought further. "But, I don't want anyone to know about it until I've mastered it."
Itachi stared at him in feigned boredom meant to look like impatience. "Hidan..."
"It's not anything bad. I promise, just... c'mon. Let me have my fucking freedom."
"It doesn't have anything to do with things you know I wouldn't approve of, right?"
"I swear to God, 'Tachi. It's nothing bad. I just don't wanna fucking tell you."
"Well if it's not bad then why can't you tell me? I can keep a secret."
"NO! It's a surprise!"
"A surprise for who?"
"For fucking everyone! Oh my fucking God can we go already?" He said loudly, opening the door and gesturing to it, looking expectantly at the Uchiha, trying to restrain his bubbling anger.
Fucking rediculous, maybe he did need to get out of this house, if only to have some goddamn privacy...
Since Itachi had finally relented, and Hidan had finally gotten his wish and purchased a laptop, as well as a coat (and also some nicer clothes for work after a long and infuriating arguement with the Uchiha),and then he gave his roommate the remainder of the money to pay off his various bills with, which had pleased his best friend to no end.
The albino didn't care, really. To him, money was only means to reach an end. He'd never cared much about being rich, in fact he hated the fact that bartering was a dying art, and everything now revolved around money the way it did. He never felt any need for it, though there were often times he wished he had it, it was never for simple greed. The only time money made him happy was when he could use it to help himself accomplish something. Having excess? Well, needless to say he didn't care for it. He had everything he needed at the moment, so Itachi could go throw it in the air and dance around in it for all he cared. Though he knew he wouldn't. That princess would take care of it for him, he knew.
And to be perfectly honest, He had yet to make plans of moving out. Repayin ghis dear friend, yes, of course. That was the reason he'd so desperatley needed the job. But Hidan San may be an idiot, but he was no fool. He didn't trust himself to live on his own just yet, not only did he know absolutly nothing about bills and morgages and all that kind of shit that you had to take care of, he had no interest in learning it. And to add to that, without guidance, he wasn't completley sure he wouldn't just abuse the freedom and go back to his old ways.
A part of him knew he had no need to be worried about this, he was a stubbon, zealous man, after all. And he'd come so very far that throwing it all away would be the stupidest damn thing he'd ever done in his life, even stupider so than getting involved in the habits in the first place.
But, it still plauged him, the fear did. That, and having to sleep alone in his own house or apartment. No way, fuck that. He'd rather be called a mooch for the rest of his life.
.
After days and days of first figuring out how to work the fucking machine he bought, countless hours of holding back the brimming anger and impatience that the infernal thing caused when it refused to bend to his will, then another week of searching, he finally got in contact with the bitch he was looking for. She was out of the mental institution, just like him, staying with a girlfriend until she too, got back on her feet. He laughed at the irony of this, and thanked God for the internet, where you could find any random bit of information on any person anywhere in the world with just the click of a few keys.
"Hello?"
Hidan smiled into the phone at hearing her voice. "Hey Pinky, how the fuck are you?"
"... No fucking way! Hidan? Seriously? Is this your stupid ass talking to me right now!?"
"The one and only, bitch, it's not another one of your fantasies, if that's what you're asking."
"Oh well fuck me running! I can't believe this! It's seriously you, fucker?"
"Yes goddammit, now shut your whore mouth for a sec. I need your help. You got a laptop?"
"Kat does... Holy shit I still can't believe I'm talking to Hidan fucking San. That's crazy. I thought they like, fucking, like... monitered us or some shit to make sure we didn't contact each other outside of that shithole."
"Did you just say Kat? You dumb whore, only you would fucking move in with a hooker, Tayuya." He grinned even more, memories of their short friendship together at his 6th rehab center and her 8th flooding his mind and filling him with excitement and a longing sort of sadness at the same time.
"Hey, she's hot. Fuck off. "
"Tch. Please. That's obviously the name of a hooker."
"She's not a damn hooker! You're just jealous that you can't have me."
"Hah, I think you're backward, Tayuya, babe. You still want my dick, don't deny it."
"I'm not denying shit. But I told you I swore off dudes, that hasn't changed, too much fucking trouble. You're a perfect example, fuckface."
"Oh hey yeah, did you ever get around to killing your ex-husband?"
"Nahh... Turns out they send you to actual prison for that shit. I mean, I could plead insanity but, you know, Ya get locked up either fucking way."
"I know it, fucking bastards. I've had to hold back from slitting a few throats too..."
"People are just so stupid these days, ya know? 'Oh you're a crazy person so that obviously makes you brain-dead.' Fucking Idiots..."
"Yeah... I'm glad someone see's my side of things."
"Yeah, anyway, What the hell is this about a laptop?"
"'Cause, I need you to help me with some shit."
"Hah! There's no help for you, fucker."
"Shut your dumb trap and lemme talk huh? Does your hooker have skype?"
"Shes not a goddamn hooker you fucking ass-farmer! And I don't know if she does or not. Why?"
"Again, dumbshit. Because I need your help."
"Well you're gonna have to fucking make more sense before I start making agreements, bitch."
"I wanna learn to play guitar." He snapped then, fed up with all this goddamn prying, and receiving a long silence over the line. He steeled himself for the bashing that would probably follow, knowing Tayuya the way he did, and how she made fun of everyone for everything, even if she approved.
"Why?" She snorted, obviously holding back a laugh.
"Because I just fucking want to! Damn what's with everyone these fucking days!? Do I need a reason to wipe my ass too!? Damn! Are you gonna help me or not?"
She finally did burst into laughter at this point. "What? What? You gonna serenade someone? HAHA! Hidan playing the guitar, that's priceless. It's even fucking worse 'cause I could totally see your stupid ass embarrassing yourself like that up on a stage!" She paused for more laughing, while Hidan sighed and rubbed his eyes.
"I'm Hidan fucking San~" She sang in her admittedly beautiful voice. Even when she was just fucking around it was pretty. Which was exactly why he wanted her help. He was a musical prodigy, as far as he was concerned. The bitch played 13 different instruments, as well as had the ability to sing beautifully just about any genera of music in any pitch. No one knew more about the subject than this chick.
"And I'm sooo sensitive~ Look at me, strumming away, listen to my words, and feel the heat~"
"Yeah, okay I get it. It's fucking funny..."
"Come to my bed, you sweet little thing~ And let me tear the fuck into you while you suck my dick and I make you bleed~" She finished off in a much more 'metal' tone, then bursting into laughter again, which he couldn't help but join in on.
Shit, it was funny, so what?
"You know me so well..."
"Yeah well, us crazies aren't exactly docile in bed. But anyway, so you wanna fucking learn guitar eh? Are you gonna pay me?"
"I can, I guess, if you're gonna be a stingy fucking bitch about it."
"Hey! I gotta make money off this deal, can't get a fucking job since I finally got out of that fucking prison they had us locked up in. No one wants to hire the crazy bitch!"
"Tch, fucking godless heathen."
"Yeah yeah, money is sin but you know it's important. So fuck your stupid faith. Pay me, and we got a deal."
He growled, mainly just for show, having pretty well expecting this. "Sure. Whatever, I don't need the shit anyway. Just help me out huh?"
"I'm assuming your retarded self managed to land a job then, since you have money to offer."
"Unfortunatly..."
"How the fuck did you manage that? Or maybe it's just cause I'm a chick. Fucking stupid sexist bastards, like having a vagina makes you more crazy than someone with a cock."
"Eh, long fucking story. It was kind of an accident. The asshole I work for didn't actually check my file before he hired me. And now it turns out he can't let me go cause of some human rights law or some fucking shit like that."
"Daaaaamn, lucky break, Hidan. Lucky break. You sure you're not Irish?"
"No I'm not fucking Irish you dumb infected fucking twat-licker!"
She laughed again, "Damn, it's good to hear your fucking voice ya know? Brings back them old memories. Oooh, the shenanigans. I'm pretty sure a couple of those dumbass nurses ended up admitting themselves to that place." She said, the entire sentence enclosed in laughter. "Yeah dude, no prob, I'll help you out. Send me an e-mail okay? We'll work all this shit out."
And so the shut-in had become even more of a hermit. Running straight to his room each and every night after Itachi brought him home. He'd even gotten into the habit of propping a chair up against the door handle so that the Uchiha would stop his annoying little interventions. And finally, after another few months, he seemed to get the picture.
.
Christmas had long-since passed by now, as well as New years, and Valentines day. And each paycheck Hidan received went directly to Itachi after cashing it. The Uchiha had set up a bank account for Hidan, gotten him a checkbook and a debit card, and had forced him to sit there and learn how to properly keep track of his money. He showed him all the debts he'd been slowly paying off for the albino, and after being mostly ignored throughout the entire lesson, finally stormed away in anger.
Hidan payed no mind. He didn't fucking care about money, and didn't understand why everyone kept pushing the knowledge on him like this. When he'd gone bitching to Tayuya, during one of their lessons about Itachi's behavior, (they had pretty well filled each other in on their lives and all the general things that had happened since then, though Hidan had left out the part about having feelings for his boss) she'd had the fucking nerve to actually side with him.
"You know. You kind of have been ignoring him. I mean, when you're not at work your online with me. What's he supposed to think?"
"He's supposed to be fucking happy that I'm taking his advice. I told him I'm not doing anything bad, why the fuck can't he just trust me?"
"Awe, look at you Hidan. You two would be so cute together you know?"
"EW! SHUT THE FUCK UP! Itachi is soooooo not my type."
"Meh, whatever. I still think it's hilarious that you live with a fucking shrink."
"I think it's hilarious that they gave an Uchiha a legal license to help other people fix their problems. That family is so fucked..."
"And you totally have room to talk, huh?"
"Oh what, so just cause I'm a psycho I can't comment on other peoples lives?"
Tayuya's image on the computer screen only stared at him in entertainment. She was wearing another animal beanie today, as she always did. This bitch had always had a creepy obsession with wild hats. The one she had today looked like a disfigured panda, or maybe a raccoon. It was honestly hard to tell, what with her thick, unmanable hair poofing out from under it the way it did.
She was naturally a blonde, he'd figured out after asking her thousands of times, but he'd only ever seen her with this hot-pink hair. She'd told him once that she'd been dyeing it that same color since she was seven, because her invisible friend had told her he thought maybe she was supposed to be born as a rose, but somehow ended up having her soul put in a human form.
Yeah... she was a crazy bitch.
"See this is the problem with you men, you know? You're so insensitive! The poor guy is just trying to fucking help you, you know. And you keep blowing him off. You're being a shitty friend."
"Hey, I'm not paying you to pry into my personal life, bitch. Get back to teaching me Chords." He growled, brows dropping.
The girl on the screen scoffed and rolled her eyes, grabbing her zebra-striped acoustic guitar ad bringing it back to her lap. "You know this would be a lot fucking easier if you'd just go get a damn guitar. It doesn't make sense for you to somehow magically just learn guitar just by watching me. You have to let your own fingers learn too. It's like typeing or riding a bike, you have to practice."
"Goddammit for the millionth time, if I get a guitar, then he'll know."
"So what?" She shrugged, focusing on putting her fingers in the right places on the strings. "We're gonna do something a little harder, but still simple today. Spiders, by System of a down*. Most songs generally only have three seperate chords that they arrange into different contexts. Some of them have more, but that comes later. We'll just focus on this one song for now, this is the one I started on when I learned guitar."
"Sweet. I love System."
"Everyone loves System, douchetard. You didn't answer my question though, why can't you just tell your fucking best friend that you're learning guitar? Does he have like repressed memories or some shit that'll make him flip out and kill you?"
"Ugh, It's none of your goddamn business Pinky! Would you just get back to the fucking lesson bitch?"
She had a point. Eventually he was going to have to get one. He knew the basics now, and shit he didn't really think he needed to know, even though he kind of did. Like everyone else in the fucking world, she seemed to be able to read him like a book, and had forced him to learn the who fucking shebang about music.
She actually was a good teacher, as much as it pissed him off, drilling sheet music, notes, making him learn to recognize each one, making him hum them all in the right octave and then laughing at him and teasing him for the embarrassing display, forcing all that shit into his head before she'd finally, finally grabbed her own guitar and started showing him what he really needed to know. It had started first with the act of actually learning to tune the guitar, and then the basics of chords, now she was finally moving past all the stupid 'starter' songs like row your boat and Mary had a little lamb, onto real songs.
By this time Hidan could listen to a song and mentally map out the tune and rhythem on paper with ease. And during the late nights, after Tayuya and Itachi had both gone to bed, he secretly scribbled down the musical accompaniment to lyrics he had long since put together into a song, cementing them into reality, persay. Making it come closer and closer into a realization that he was actually doing this, that he was really going to pursue this little hobby into something more, should he ever get over the sick feeling he got when he imagined singing out loud for random strangers to hear. Letting them see into his head, into his confusing, personal thoughts...
Thoughts that still made little sense to him, and discouraged him just as much as they did the opposite. Especially when at work, doing meaningless tasks as he hummed or sang softly to himself. A small piece of him seemed to rest constantly on the knowledge that his boss, that asshole he unfortunatly still seemed to have a wierd sort of crush on, was sitting just out of hearing range in his office, and at any moment might come up the hall and hear him singing. This thought terrified him even though he sometimes daydreamed about the elder man sitting there listenening fondly to him... He didn't know what he would actually do it if ever did happen, but in the back of his mind, sitting there next to the small little amount of hope he held, he knew it wouldn't
"This is how I show my love~..." He would mumble-sing, doing his duties on autopilot, pausing every so often when a patient came in or the phone rang to tell them to wait or have them fill out paperwork, or to jot down a note or schedule a callback. "I made it in my mind because... I blame it on my A.D.D Baby~..."*
Yeah, That song was kind of like Kakuzu...
"This is how an angel cries... I blame it on my own sick pride... I blame it on my A.D.D baby..."
Or perhaps more like Hidan. Or maybe them both. Damn, he couldn't get the fucker off his mind anymore. Every song he decoded, every lyric he learned, it somehow related to the old man, even if it didn't make sense considering the fact that he still didn't know him that well. Even if it was about something completley unrelated to the man, it somehow led to thoughts about the old man. Always Kakuzu...
Kakuzu, Kakuzu, Kakuzu...
He hated it. He hated it and yet was happy for it in a wierd sort of way, this little crush he had. It was exciting, sort of. He'd never really cared about anything before, which had kept him from functioning like the normal person half of him had always wanted to be. And now, this weird feeling, since he'd gotten this job, the world seemed to hold more meaning. His life seemed to hold more meaning. He had aspirations, finally, goals, things he actually wanted, enough so to get him off his ass and actually go after them.
One of the hardest parts of having a job before had been the simple act of getting up and going. There had never been a point, before, no reason to push him toward going. Many a day he had simply blown off his job just to go drink or whatever other means of unsobriety he could get his hands on. Simply for the fact that he had never felt the neccessity to go to work.
But now, he didn't mind going. He wasn't exactly happy about it, especially since the hours Kakuzu kept were rediculous and took up his entire day. But, there was just something different about it now. Something, as normal for him, he couldn't really explain.
He didn't want to be so stupid as to say it was all because of this unwanted infatuation, but he always wasn't so stupid as to believe it didn't have some small part.
It was... it was just confusing... far too confusing. As everything was.
.
More months passed, the snow slowly melted away, Daylights Savings Time came and went, the weather warmed slightly, the sun came out more often, and it wasn't until Kakuzu once again begrudgingly handed him an envelope with his name on it on the last work day of the month that he suddenly realized that it was almost April.
This disturbed him, for reasons he didn't try to understand. And now he stared at the envelope blandly as he raised a cigarette to his lips, inhaling deeply. He was leaned back against the tin outer wall of the clinic, facing the parking lot, waiting as he did every night for Itachi's car to pull in.
He stared down at the envelope, melancholy, wondering why he didn't have the urge to rip it open and see how much he'd made this month.
Because money is useless... he thought to himself, blinking slowly. It would be just about the same as every other month anyway. Just short of 2,500... It hadn't been so long ago since he'd been handed that very first envelope, and had been so overcome with excitement that he couldn't contain it. But now, only a few short months later... he felt nothing. This only made his mood plummet further. Why wasn't he happy now? It felt like just the other day he'd realized how content he was with his new lifestyle, and now all the sudden it wasn't enough. Dear God, was this stupid brain EVER satisfied?
A car door slammed over to his right, and he jerked his head as the engine purred in the dim, dim light of the late afternoon. He watched his boss pull out in his sleek, black Dodge. He didn't know the model, had never bothered to ask, and had never really had an eye for cars as most men did. He knew the basic brands names, and would occasionally give his input on a conversation regarding them. But the only information he knew was related solely to the things he overhead other men talking about.
Kakuzu was probably a car person, he thought. I could see him restoring some junky old piece as a side hobby... even though he probably doesn't.
No, on second thought, Kakuzu was too... too distinguished of a man to do something dirty like that...
He felt that familiar tightness in his chest, when the tanned-skinned man himself glanced up to look at him for a moment before shifting into drive and spinning the wheel, then driving away. And he stared sadly after him, absently taking another drag of the cigarrette, before his pale eyes shifted down to stare at the smoking stick in his hands.
His face contorted slightly in anger, and on impulse he flicked the thing, only partially smoked, out into the parking lot, glaring at it the whole way as it hit the ground, sparked, and fizzled out.
What was the point? He reasoned, not even bothering to fight the depressed mood as it set in with nothing having triggered it at all.
What was the point of anything? He mused. The days dragged on and on, coming, going, always the same thing. He got up, went to work, went home, had his lessons and gossip session with Tayuya, pretty well ignoreing Itachi, and then the next day came. He worked and worked as hard as he could at these two things which had suddenly become the centers of his life, never did anything else. And what had he gained from it yet? Kakuzu didn't acknowledge him, though half of him didn't want him to, because it would only make things more confusing. Their little relationship had not made any changes at all during the work days, Ever since that night when he and Shark-dick had stayed the night, things seemed to have come to a standstill between them.
He didn't know why this bummed him out the way it did. He could only reationalize it in the usual complicated ways he did everything else. Having that giant realization, though it had alarmed him, terrified him, made him want to die... it had sort of been nice too, In a way. He'd never really had a crush before. He'd never admired anyone from a distance the way he did his boss. He didn't know how to go about things like this, and he was afraid to do anything.
In a way, that night had sort of felt to him almost like the opening of a door of oppurtunity.
He wasn't sure if it opened both ways though. And had it been with just about anyone else in the world, he probably would have done somthing about this annoying little fluffyness in his stomache by now.
But Kakuzu... how could he?
This wasn't any normal situation. It wasn't some fucking highschool drama. It was a pitiful fucking tragedy, is what it was. Kakuzu was a distinguished, sucessful, confident man with a thriving business, a house, a life, years of experience more than the pale man. Hidan was a mentally fucked man-child with a shitty history and not much promise of a better future. Not to mention his boss was an old fucking man, however old he actually fucking was. Forget the personality differences, forget the life differences, the age difference alone was just... well... hard to get past.
Not for Hidan, really. He'd had plenty of time to mule it over, plenty of time to stare secretly at the man when he wasn't looking, plenty of time to decide that if, miraculously, something happened, he probably wouldn't mind pursueing an opportunity.
But maybe, he thought, Dr. Hoku would probably have a problem with it... He had an image to keep up, after all. Standards to live up to. Even if he really was bisexual like Itachi said, there's no way he'd ever be caught dead with someone like Hidan...
He sighed, staring at the spot where his cigarette had landed and wishing he hadn't thrown it. Damn it, what a waste.
Instead he pulled out another one, getting angry because of it, and lit it up. After replacing the pack back into his pocket, he reached over to his other one, pulling out his phone to check the time.
9:17 p.m.
Hmm, Itachi should be here by now...
He absently took a drag of the cigarette, leaning his head back against the wall to look up at the sky. The stars were beginning to come out, now that the sun had finally set. They were kind of pretty, in a stupid girly-sounding kind of way.
Hm, that Uchiha... he had been being a shitty friend lately, hadn't he? Maybe that was what he needed, a bullshit session with the guy. After all, his birthday was in a couple days, and it was the weekend. Maybe he could talk him into letting him skip his medicines for a weekend and they could go out to the bar. Shit, he wouldn't even care if Shark-dick came... All he knew was he suddenly felt the desperate need to break this cycle of monotony and do something impulsive and probably stupid. After all, he'd been resisting his mischevious nature for months. It was about fucking tiem he was rewarded with a night of debauchery.
At last a pair of headlights pulled into the distant entry of the parking lot, and he pushed himself off the wall, working to finish this cigarette before he had to get in the car. That tightwad roommate of his wouldn't let him smoke in the car, and he didn't want to waste another one.
So at least it was settled as to what he'd do tonight. He'd spend some time with Itachi, give Tayuya the night off, after texting her and letting her know, of course. Damn responsibilites. Maybe that manipulative, mind-raping bastard could help him come to some sort of conclusion on this aweful infatuation situation, seeing as he was the one who'd sparked the realization in the first place.
His silver car pulled up and came to a stop in the parking spot right in front of him. He gave the gloomy-looking man inside a big grin, flicking his cancer stick off into the darkness, and made his way to the passenger door.
-o-
Time had passed in much the same way for the Uchiha. Seeming to have flown by with far-exaggerated speed now that it had passed the way it did, but slinking slowly at a snails pace while he'd been actually in the midst of it.
His time had been relitively less exciting than Hidan's, he thought, seeing as he'd pretty much become invisible to the man except when he wanted something. For the longest time this had infuriated him, and also hurt him as well once he got over his concern.
When the seclusion had first started, he'd been able to chide the man into coming out every so often with any little favor he could think of that might draw him out. It had been sort of entertaining, back then when he'd considered it nothing more than a phase. It reminded him almost of adopting an abused animal, having to bribe them out from under the bed and gain their trust.
And then Hidan had received his first paycheck, and he'd been physically assaulted in the man's excitement. He'd forgiven him easily enough for the bloody nose, it was so hard to be upset with an excited Hidan, after all. And it was also based off the fact that he'd thought there for awhile, as they made the trip to the much larger town 30 mintes south so Hidan could purchase his laptop, that his little phase had ended and he would start coming out of the bedroom more often.
He was wrong, made apparent after the following few days passed and he'd actually kept himself cooped up in that tiny room even more than before.
Itachi had let him be for the first few days, thinking that maybe he wanted the laptop so he could get some sort of online college degree. Or perhaps something similar to that. He knew obviously that he was learning something with it, seeing as he'd stated that he was getting himself a hobby. He'd been pleased with it, of course, since Hidan had actually accepted and followed his advice, as the oblivious albino rarely ever did unless the Uchiha drilled it over and over into his head and usually still had to force him even after that.
After a couple more weeks had passed, however, he grew tired of it. Yes, it was good that he was learning something new, but something so easily influenced into bad moods based on their surroundings simply could not keep themselves the way he had been.
He'd consulted with Kisame at first, at a lack of any other ideas aside from just annoying the man out of his bedroom, and also in need mainly of just someone to talk to, since he and Hidan never got to anymore.
"I don't know what to do about it... It been going on for ages..." He said, settled comfortabley in the man's lap, sitting sideways with his upper body leaning againt the man's thickly muscled chest.
Kisame was currently tossing up pieces of popcorn, catching them in his mouth and crunching away for a few minutes before he threw another one up, repeating the action.
Neither of them were paying attention to the movie playing on Kisame's television.
"I don't even think he knows I'm gone right now. I didn't bother telling him, since he doesn't pay attention anyway. I haven't gotten any texts at all. It's like he doesn't even care anymore..."
"Well, have you tried just asking him what's going on?" Kisame replied through a mouthful of kernals. He tossed another one up, but this one missed his mouth, and he breathed out a curse as it fell to the cusions of his sectional and slipped between the cracks.
"Of course I have! He just says 'Nothing.' or 'None of your business' or something like that. Tell's me not to worry about it." He twisted to absently reach between the seat and pluck the stray bit of popcorn that the scarred man seemed to be having trouble finding and tossed it to the trashcan on the other side of the room. It hit it's target perfectly, and Kisame let out a whistle of appreciation.
"We really need to have a one on one one of these days, babe. You should come with me to the gym, they've got a sweet court there, and you can knock those cocky roid-heads* down a few notches when you kick their asses too."
"There is no fixing arrogance, Kisa. Besides, they'd just make fun of you for being with a man."
"You can pretend to be a chick. Just put a bra on, stuff some socks in it or something. It'd be funny!"
Itachi laughed and flopped back down to his previous condition. "Maybe. You'll have to come up with a better arguement than that. Quit changeing the subject."
The larger man sighed dramatically and let his head fall to the back of the couch. "All you ever talk about is the kid though! Don't you have any other problems I could help you solve? Any at all?"
Itachi considered this for a moment, grabbing himself a few pieces of popcorn and popping them into his own mouth.
"Well... It's still about Hidan... But it's something you could definitely help me with."
"Ugh, what if I just let you paint my toenails again?"
"I'd be happy to, but I still need advice. I don't know much about this topic, as you do."
What his rommate wasn't aware of (Though really, he should be, seeing as both he and that girl he always talked to were both abnoxiously loud) is that he'd made a discovery recently. Just earlier that day, in fact.
As he mentioned earlier, he hadn't told Hidan that he was going over to Kisame's for a date-night of sorts. What he hadn't mentioned was that he had started to, but stopped when he heard the albino and that girl, Tayuya was her name, he remembered, having one of their little chats.
"No you idiot! Watch my fingers. Now tell me, which chord is this?"
"Uh... Em... right?"
"Oh my fucking God. Why don't you just get a goddamn guitar."
"I just can't. Okay, Wait, that's Am, isn't it?"
"Holy shit, you actually got it. Yes, when you have your index finger just behind the first fret of the 2nd string, and your middle and ring fingers on the 4th and 3rd strings, that's an Am Chord. It's one of the simplest fucking ones, it shouldn't take you this goddamn long to figure it out."
"Bitch! It's not my fucking fault! I can't hardley see your prissy little goddamn fingers on this goddamn screen. Put the fucking cam closer!"
"Oh for fuck's sake Hidan. Can you see THIS one!?"
"Ohoho you're so fucking talented, flipping me off. Go fuck yourself."
"I would gladley, at least I wouldn't have to deal with your stupid ass. God how does your roomie even deal with your dense fucking face!"
"Maybe you're just a bad teacher you fucking cunt! Just move the goddamn cam closer!"
"Or, hey, how bout this? GO GET A GUITAR!"
"Yeah, and I'll fuck your mother while I'm out!"
"HAH! Have fun with that. Did I tell you she has a tattoo above her twat that says 'Enter at your own risk'?"
"Why the fuck are you looking at your mom's vag!?"
"I WAS KIDDING YOU FUCKING IDIOT!"
Itachi had more or less sprinted out of the apartment at that time, not wanting to hear anymore of those two's vulgar and childish conversation. But he was interested in what he'd overheard.
So Hidan was trying to learn how to play the guitar eh?
He'd laughed as he thought about it. Only Hidan would be oblivious enough to try and learn how to play an instrument without actually having one. And only Hidan would have some strange reason to try and keep such a perfectly acceptable thing a secret. The Uchiha couldn't, for the life of him, figure out what that reason would be, unless it was just something to do with pride.
That made sense, though, as little humility as the shameless man had, he still was embarrassed about a few things. Much like the way he would never just come out and state that he wanted to talk about his feelings, he probably was afraid of receiving critisism for this new hobby. Things like this were parts of the enigma known as Hidan's personality. Thoughts and fears that afflicted so drastically with each other, the man was almost like one giant walking contradiction. But that happened a lot in the human race. It was just a part of being human, being a hypocrite. It had nothing at all to do with one's mental state.
This gave him an idea though. Hidan's birthday was in a little over a month. And he knew that Kisame dabbled in guitar/ukelele-playing, (as hilarious as it was to imagine the giant of a man with a tiny little ukelele) So this had given him a brilliant idea not only as something to get the pale man for his birthday, but as a means to let him know that he knew about his 'big secret' and had nothing but encouragement to give him for it.
"I like this one." Itachi said, pointing to a sparklaling emerald electric guitar sitting on the guitar racks.
Kisame had responded readily enough to helping him pick out Hidan's present. And here they were the following weekend at Thunder Drums*, a local store that specilized in selling supplies to bands and aspiring rockstars.
Kisame turned to look at the one he was pointing at, barking out a laugh immediatly. "Ohoho noooo. First off, you're looking at a thousand dollars minimum for that piece. You really think getting that hyper, destructive kid something like that is a good idea?"
Itachi pouted a little at this, not having the chance to answer what was a rhetorical question anyway before the man continued.
"Secondly, that's electric. If he's just starting out then you'll probably be safer with an acoustic. They're easier, at least in my opinion. And lastly, it really would make a lot more sense to just bring him here with us. Me and him are different, a guitar that feels comfortable in my hands might not be the same for him."
"Well I didn't realize there were so many rules for picking one out..." The Uchiha countered, moving along further down the aisle.
"Oh yeah. It's not like buying toilet paper... You don't just find one you think looks cool. There's a lot of different variables. Like buying a car. Gotta find what fits him best."
"Well why didn't you mention that before we came all the way here? Then I could have just waited until his actual birthday and brought him with us."
"I dunno. You usually know what you're doing, I figured you had it handled."
"If I knew what I was doing I wouldn't have asked for your assistance!" Itachi said, whirling around to look up at the man incredously.
Kisame only chuckled there, towering over him. "Okay okay, my bad... It's okay, places like this are usually pretty good about making exchanges. I'm sure you and me both are smart enough to tackle this though."
"I surely hope so... Oh! Look at that one!" He said, pointing to an acoustic in the back corner. The body was black, with a wooden neck, and on the bottom left edge of it was a slate grey circle with a triangle inside it.
"...Isn't that the AA symbol?" Kisame said, following the much shorter man over to it.
"No. But Hidan was in Alchoholics Anonymous for a short while."
"...You really think he wants to advertise something like that?"
"Well no, but that symbol has the triangle pointing down. The one for AA usually has it facing upwards. That one means something different."
"Even so, that's probably what people will relate it to..."
"Well, then let's ask!" Itachi said, somewhat annoyed as he turned in a circle and sood up on his tippy toes to look for an employee over the shelves of the store.
"Or we could just find something different..." Kisame shrugged, doing the same but looking for another guitar instead of someone to help, and also not having to stretch to see over the displays.
"Nonsense. That guitar is perfect for Hidan. Monochromatic and simple. He'd love it." Itachi replied, motioning to someone who's eye he caught that they needed assistance. A teenage man came slouching over to them, regarding them both boredly.
"What does that symbol mean?" The raven-hair asked emotionlessly, pointing up to the guitar and feeling somewhat like a little kid with this action.
The employee looked up at it, squinting in thought and craning his head slightly. "Ehhh... Oh, that piece was donated by a failing band. That was their logo. They were trying to start up some weird new religion or something. I dunno, I wasn't the one here when we got it in."
Itachi's face brightened for a moment before falling back to it's previous state as he considered this. Hidan was a very religious man. Not in the sense that he wrapped his life around it, but he'd always been of strong faith, one of the things that helped him be the stubborn sort of zealot that he was.
But having the symbol of another religion on his guitar? He might not like that... Unless it was something he'd think funny, or cool.
"What was the religion about?" He asked, receiving a rude sigh from the boy.
"I dunno." He said, then turning around and suddenly shouting, making both then inquireing men jump and making Kisame snort in an attwmpt to stifle a laugh.
"KIRIN! C'MERE!" He yelled, and an older woman with bright red hair, multiple tattoos and piercings poked her head out from the door behind the counter some feet away
"WHAT?" She said.
"These guys have a question about this guitar." He replied pointing. And she rolled her eyes and emerged completley from the door, sighing in irritation.
She quickly replaced her scowl with a sickly sweet smile as she strutted over to them, jerking her head at the boy in a silent signal to get lost. Itachi repressed his own aggrivated sigh.
"What can I help you with?" She said in a sunshiney tone, though her voice was rather deep, the Uchiha thought.
"That kid said that symbol linked to some religion or something. We just wanted to know what it was about." Kisame said for him, putting a comforting hand on his shoulder, as if sensing the younger's annoyance, and gesturing to to instrument.
"Ahhh, yeah." hse said, looking up at it and chewing on her lip ring in thought. "A couple young'uns were trying to start a following for a deity they made up. They didn't get very far, and gave that to us. You're actually the first people that noticed it wasn't an AA symbol." She laughed at the last before continueing. "Ohh, it was some death metal type thing. Jashinism, I think they called it. Basically the God of slaughter and death and destruction, that type of thing. That's why it's so cheap, but we can also send it in for you for an extra free and give it a new paintjob. You interested in it?"
Itachi looked up to Kisame excitedly. Hidan loved Gore and violence, depite being a christian as he was. That sounded perfect for him, honestly.
"Yes, yes we are." He replied.
"I'd like to test it out first, though." Kisame intervened, making the woman nod and hold up a finger in the generic 'Just a second' sign, before moving briskly back into the door she came out of.
"You're sure you don't wanna do something else? I thought the kid was a Catholic, isn't that kind of the opposite of their thing?" The taller man questioned as Itachi stepped forward to have a slightly closer look at the instrument.
"He's not really affiliated with a certian version of Christianity. He has his own sense of morals and whatnot. But he's always watching those disgusting movies, and you know how violent he is..."
"That ain't no shit..."
"I think he'll be tickled by it. And it's an acoustic, like you said. And we can always get it redone if he doesn't like it."
"Yeah, and it's in a good price range for a beginner like him too. We'll just see if it's worth a shit. Metalheads are known not to take that much care of their equipment you know, they like to smash things..."
"So does Hidan."
"That's a good point..."
"So it's settled then! Perfect. That didn't take long at all." Itachi said, clapping his hands together in excitement. If this didn't get Hidan to stop being such a shut-in, nothing would.
.
In the month that followed, he'd awaited eagerly the day that he could present his show of friendship and support to his dear friend. He honestly missed talking to him, as exhausting as he could be. This new person that lived with him was kind of ahrd to get used to, going to work every day like a responsible adult. Listening to he and Tayuya's conversations outside his bedroom door didn't suffice as much as sitting there actually conversing with him.
And Kisame was right, the albino had become much too important in his life, it was hard to work on his blooming new relationship with the ocean-loving man when his roommate was constantly on his mind. And this gesture had eased his mind somewhat, he was confident that it would snap the man from his seclusion once he found out that Itachi knew about this new hobby. Hell, maybe he'd finally introduce him to this girl who had served as his best friend in the Uchiha's absense.
Now that he thought about it, he really liked the idea of Hidan playing guitar. Music was a wonderful way for him to channel his emotions, and he'd heard Hidan singing in the shower or to himself when he thought no one could hear, he had a very unique voice. He was no where near a superstar, but it was fun to listen to.
This might even be a perfect oppurtunity for Kisame to get to know his dear friend better too, now that they had something like this in common.
.
He returned the smile Hidan gave him as he got in the car appreciatively, regarding the pale man for a moment before he reversed from the parking lot to head home.
"You look like you're in a good mood." He finally said, breaking the silence.
"Yeah, kind of." Was the reply. "I was thinking, since it's the weekend, and I've been such a good boy recently..." He trailed off, turning in his seat to give itachi a pleading smile. "Maybe we could go and do something? Something Alchohol related, socialize and shit, you know, get out of the house?"
Itachi laughed outright, his own mood being boosted significantly. "Well, getting out of the house sounds good. Especially since you've kept yourself locked in that room consistently for months on end."
"Yeah, exactly! So can we?"
"Are you going to finally tell me what it is you've been working on so diligently?"
"No."
"Then I don't know... After all, you are on medication. Alchohol and anti-depressants don't mix."
"Awe come on! Can't I just skip'em for a few days? It's not like I'm a fucking alchoholic anymore, I just want one night of fun! And i want you to come with me."
"Oohh, so you actually want to associate with me? I thought you'd forgotten I exist." He said, trying not to let any bitterness seep into his words, but failing.
Hidan went silent after this, remaining that way for so long that Itachi had to keep glancing over at him to try and read his emotions, to figure out what he was thinking.
"I know... I've... I've been a bad friend huh? I'm sorry, it's just... My heads been all wierd since that night..."
"Which night?" The Uchiha inquired, despite knowing exactly which night he was referring to.
"You know, the one where Kakuzu came over and I found out I have a... thing... for him."
"Ahh, yes. How has that been going, by the way? I wanted to ask you a long time ago but you'd never talk to me."
"I know, I know! I said I was sorry, damn it. Quit making me feel like shit!" Hidan snapped, his angry tone not reaching his eyes. "I've just been busy with shit, you know? And c'mon, you have to admit you were being kind of fucking annoying."
"Well if you would just tell me what's going on I wouldn't have to pry."
"You're acting like my goddamn parent again though! I told you a million times that it was a secret! I told you it wasn't anything bad! I just wanted some goddamn trust and privacy."
"Well yes, that's understandable but you shut me out completley! It hurt my feelings!"
Hidan held his hands up in surrender, shaking his head slightly. "Okay, okay, you know what? We both fucked up, huh? Does that work? I already apologized, your prissy ass probably won't so I'll just pretend that you did. Can we get past it?"
"Don't try to get yourself out of trouble like that, Hidan."
"YES MOTHER!" He snapped loudly, both of them falling silent afterwards. The quiet lasted the rest of the way home until they were pulled into the driveway. It was Itachi who finally started laughing, relieving the tension. Hidan soon followed with a giggle of his own.
"You're rediculous." Itachi laughed gently, turning off the vehicle and letting himself out.
"You love me." Hidan replied, also getting out and following him up the stairs, then into the apartment.
The slightly younger man was greatly pleased when Hidan jumped over the back of the couch, landing in a sprawled position on the cushions after he took his coat off instead of retreating to his room, as he halfway expected him too.
The Uchiha removed his own jacket and nearly skipped in his own reserved happiness to the other couch. His friend was back, thank God, and this meant that they could catch up. Nothing significant had really happened as far as he and Kisame's relationship went. But his interest had been thoroughly peaked at Hidan's mention of his affections for his employer, and he was, and had been for awhile, dying to know if it had progressed any at all since he'd stopped his meddling and just let it play out.
"So. You want to go out this weekend?" He started, squinting to try and read the text Hidan was currently working on. He could only assume it was to that girl who gave him lessons, seeing as he wasn't aware of any other renewed frindships the albino had. And he obviously wasn't texting Itachi.
The pale man slapped the phone shut and rolled himself to lay on his stomache in a position that looked terribley uncomfortable so that he could look at his roommate. "YES! Desperatley!"
"Well then..." He trailed off, giving him a devious smile and adjusting himself so that he was sitting crosslegged in the middle of the loveseat. "I require information first."
A single silver brow raised in quizzical response.
"Not about this secret you're keeping. I'll leave you alone about it." He assured, sucessfully getting the brow to lower back to it's natural place. "What I do want to know about it your boss."
"Tch. What about him?" Came the unenthusiastic reply.
Itachi rolled his eyes. Oooh Hidan, oblivious Hidan.
"Well you said earlier that you've been having troubles with your little crush on him! Tell me about it!"
The pigmentless eyes regarding him shifted in understanding. "Aaaahhh 'Tachi, You don't want information. You want gossip, you fucking girly girl." With this he pushed himself back up on the couch, rearranging his body until he was sitting like an actual human being on the piece of furniture.
"Call it whatever you want. Just tell me!"
Hidan sighed, shifted nervously, ran a hand through his hair, and then let out a frustrated growl. "There's nothing to even tell!" He finally explained, Making Itachi slump in annoyed dissapointment.
"Well, I'm gathering that much. What I mean is, what's been going on on your side, in your head.
"I don't know.." He admitted, face screwing up in hesitant thought. "Nothing really. I mean... it's just wierd, is all. Having to be around him all the time and act normal. It's easier than I thought it would be, but hard at the same time, y'know?"
Itachi gave him a smirk. "I know all too well. Kisame was very similar..."
"Well yeah but at least you two were friends. Like, you could actually associate with him. I can't get a fucking thing from that old bastard. Pisses me off, makes my head hurt."
"Well, have you tried testing him?"
"What?"
"You know, like... making some subtle comment or doing something and seeing how he reacts to it."
"Oh fuck that shit. I'm not a goddamn manipulative bastard like you." He said, waving him off. "But... he does do confusing shit sometimes... Like one minute he's calling me stupid and saying how he wants to beat me senseless, and then he does something that's kinda wierdly nice in a way. But he acts like he doesn't want to do it, like he has no choice even though that doesn't really make sense. I don't fucking know, he's fucking impossible 'Tachi. I wish you would have just let me stay fucking oblivious."
The Uchiha was wearing a large smile now, trying as much as he could to calm his excitement. Oh, this was just adorable. He knew he was right about The Doctor liking Hidan. This only proved it.
He still wanted to know more, however.
"What do you mean? Give me an example."
Hidan shifted uncomfortabley again, chewing on his lip in his key tell that he was nervous. "Well, I don't know... Like, you remember when I had that cold?"
Itachi nodded eagerly.
"Well, he gave me a big bottle of Vitamin C to help me get over it. It actually helped a whole fucking lot. But when he did it he acted like he was only doing it because he was tired of hearing me cough and sneeze and shit." He explained, pausing to think for a moment. "And this other time, I was trying to get the fucking copy machine to work and I didn't wanna ask him to show me how because I didn't wanna hear him bitch about it. And he just kind of came out of nowhere, and showed me how to do it. Then after I had it figured out he started being a dick again."
Coal eyes laughed silently at Hidan from the couch adjacent to him. Oh, these two. How adorable. Two grown men, dancing around each other's mutual affection to each other like a couple of kids in highschool. It was obvious to him right away that he had to intervene again. he'd left it alone for this long and absolutly nothing had happened. These two clearly needed some sort of little push in the right direction.
"I catch him looking at me sometimes..." Hidan continued, softer now. "It's weird, it freaks me out, but I like it at the same time, you know. I just with the stupid old miser was easer to read... He's so goddamn weird!"
Itachi held up his hand, almost as if he were in school wanting to ask something. "Quick question, Hida." He said, hiding his smirk and forcing a neutral expression when peony-pink eyes met his. "Have you never had a crush before?"
The way hidan looked away so quickly, along with the slight reddening of his face answered for him.
Itachi's brows shot up in true surprise now. "Really? You've never liked anyone? Not even in Highschool? There was never a girl or boy you wanted to be with?"
he received a shy shrug in response. "No, not really. I mean, I didn't really give a shit about relationships and all that girly crap like you did. It was always just about the sex. I was a normal guy, up until now." He said, giving his rommate a slightly accusing glare. "Ugh, god, I feel like a flamer sitting here talking about this."
"Oh don't be rediculous Hidan. I'm not judging you for it, and it's not like I'm going to go tell the whole world that you actually have feelings."
He received another glare for this comment, but laughed it away. "I think it's cute. And I'm glad you confided in me. Makes me feel better. "
"Don't fucking call me cute, Uchiha. I'm not a puppy." He snapped, pausing for a moment to consider something. "And don't go fucking meddling again either! Just because I'm telling you this shit doesn't mean I need your help!"
He rolled his eyes, smirking despite it. "I promise I won't." he promised, making sure to cross his fingers, hidden from Hidan's sight in his lap. "But I think you should at least try to do something about it. If he's sending you mixed messages, then there's a chance he might-"
"No. Hell no." Hidan interrupted, features hard. "I'm not taking a fucking risk like that. I have to work with the asshole. It's awkward enough as it is now. If he knew... Ugh, no. It's not going to happen. Don't even fucking go there."
"Well really Hidan! Look how Kisame and I turned out! And he'd never even thought of a man that way. At least Dr. Hoku is-"
"I said no, goddammit. This isn't the fucking same. I mean switching from girls to you isn't that much of a change, no offense." He added, holding his hands up in a peace offering as Itachi scowled at him. " And I mean... he's so old 'Tachi! He's like fifty!"
"forty-six." The Uchiha corrected.
"Okay, yeah, well same fuckin' thing. That's... what? Like, 24 years difference. That's fucking gross."
"Is that what you think? Or what society thinks?" He questioned seriously, raising a brow.
Hidan didn't answer, his gaze dropping to the floor instead.
Itachi stared at him sympathetically. The poor man, he admitted that it was a very confusing situation, especially for someone like Hidan. With everything he was going through, having the stress of unwanted affections for a man he considered far out of his league couldn't possibley be easy.
But it was a good thing too, The feminine man thought as he studied him. He'd been doing so well since he got the job. Learning new things, being responsible, he hadn't had any sort of panic attacks or episodes at all in months. He'd been eating more, sleeping (slightly) more, and Itachi had been blown away when he'd learned how the nicotene addicted man had been foregoing cigarettes all day long when he was at work. He hadn't suspected that at all, seeing as he smoked just as much as he always had once he came home and on weekends.
Dr. Hoku was having a profound affect on him in so many positive ways, and without really even meaning to, none-the-less. Hidan was like a whole new person now than the scraggly, barely-sane man who'd first shown up on his doorstep. There was no way he could just let things continue at this pace. If some sort of change didn't occur, Hidan was likely to get discouraged, and all the progress he'd made would come crashing back down.
He had a duty to his friend, and he was going to help him, even if it meant going against his wishes. When he'd influenced the situation before, it had been a bit messy, he admitted. But as Kisame said, desperate situations call for drastic measures.
And that michevious, clever mind of his was already formulating a plan. Hidan wanted to go out and have a few drinks? Fine, he could allow that. In fact, he would go so far as to throw him a party at the bar. Hidan would be ecstatic, and Itachi knew a certian someone that could also stand a little bit of relaxing. Kisame would surely help him, if he asked. He'd been on board before, why wouldn't he be now.
He smiled deviously at his roommate, still stareing down sadly at the carpet.
Time for round two.
-o-
A/N-
Whew! Another monster chapter!
I don't know how happy I am with this one. But I've spent more than enough time writing it, and kept everyone waiting long enough.
I'm exhausted, however, so I'm not going to go back through and reread it. So forgive the typo's and all that crap, there's probably a giant swarming mass of them. And also, I don't actually play the guitar, so forgive me if I've screwed up any of that. I've been doing lots of research, since I'm still trying to stick with the whole 'realistic' thing, but I'm sure I've still errored.
There was quite a bit of stuff asterisk'd in this chapter as well. Most of it was just stuff that I wanted to make clear that I did not own the rights to.
Thunder Drum*- I made up this name. If such a store actually exists, I don't own it or anything. So don't fucking sue me.
Uhm... yeah... I don't now what else to say so, I'll leave it at that.
I love you all, don't forget to review! And I will see-eth thee in the next chapter...eth...
Peace out.