FOLLOW YOUR ARROW
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Kakuzu Hoku had always been well-aware of his age. He had never denied the fact that he was getting up there in years, though he did tend to somewhat ignore it. What else was he supposed to do, mope about it? Embrace it? Hah, no thank you. He was fine the way he was going about it now.
And anyway, he was in peak physical condition, as far as he was concerned. And he was a doctor, so he knew what healthy was. Ask anyone how old he was that did not know him personally, Surely they'd tell you he was nowhere near his actual age. Or perhaps that were untrue, he'd admit himself that there was just something about him that struck people, afterall, he radiated wisdom and experience, being the professional that he was. Whatever it was, he knew, despite his age, he was probably in a much better shape than half the people he encounteterd that were mereley a quarter his age.
He also knew the occasional stiff, achey back, tensed and sore neck, or creaking joint was perfectly normal for someone like him. He did not do much resting, after all. There was no time to rest, it was a waste of time, and wasting time was like wasting money, and that was unacceptable. And normally, a bit of soreness or fatique in the mornings or at night didn't affect him so much that it would immediatly ruin his day. But lately, for reasons he didn't care all that much to consider, he'd been feeling the effects of his many years more than ever.
.
For as long as he could remember, he'd always been a dedicated man, as first a student, then employee, intern, and now as the owner of his own clinic. Like anyone else, there was the occasional morning when for a fleeting moment, he considered just staying in bed instead of getting up and proceeding with the day, but those were few a far between. Or at least they had been.
It was slow at first, seeing as he successfully managed to get his normal schedule back on track after that one horrific night, stranded at Itachi Uchiha's apartment. The first week of returning to work had been comforting, and he hadn't had too many problems ignoring that albino idiot, seeing as he had such a severe cold that the pale man rarely had the energy to be his loud obnoxious self. He did work extremley hard to make sure Kakuzu was aware of how much he hated him, as usual. And this in most instances would have tested the elder man's patience to extremes. However, he was completley taken-back by how begrudgingly pleased he was with Hidan's work ethic.
Part of him- well, most of him- had expected the little idiot to take advantage of his position, knowing as he did that he couldn't be fired, and more or less having the borderline blackmail on the Doctor from that weekend's unfortunate circumstances. But to his dismay and reluctant appreciation, the boy remained just as disciplined an employee as he'd started out to be, the only change of course being his insufferable mouth.
Despite Kakuzu doing his best to load him down with work, he was keeping perfect pace with his duties, and infuriatingly enough, the boy was actually helping Kakuzu better organize his time, and through that, helping him get caught up on many of the small necessities that had been more or less neglected with all his previous secretaries. Those damn women, so easily overloaded after a day of minimal stress. He wondered on very brief occasions why he'd always thought it neccessary to have a female secretary. Then quickly reminded himself that before this spoiled little nuisance had come along, he'd taken guilty pleasure in bringing the women to tears.
At the same time though, it had almost been a form of self-sabotage. When he had to constantly introduce and train new interns to the internal workings of his business, it only took time out of his schedule to attend to his own duties, continuosly pulling him farther and farther behind. Really, he had no realized how bad the situation had become until he started sending hidan home with extra work each night, he'd astounded himself with all the tasks he'd left undone. But with Hidan, his irritating determination and his ability to work quickly and efficiently when he was focused, he'd managed to pretty well mark off each and every item on the to-do list with relitive speed, and a minimum amount of mistakes.
He was so efficient, in fact, that Kakuzu, after only the first week, ran out of extra work to assign him, and so had to reluctantly had to hand off some of his own tasks to the male receptionist, which of course had been handled with just as little error and with just as much speed as all the other assignments. He should have expected it really, after going there to his shared home and seeing the briefcase sitting idley beside the bookshelf. He hadn't thought anything of it until the man came back the following monday and slammed the thing onto his office desk after Kakuzu had let him into the clinic.
"These are done." The pale man stated, his voice hoarse and nasally with the effects of the cold he'd started getting over the weekend, now in full bloom.
Kakuzu scowled up at him, gripping the pen tightly in his hand. Brat, waltzing in here and throwing the briefcase so rudley on his desk while he was obviously busy doing paperwork. He was surprised, as well. At the steady, reasonable pace the doctor usually worked at, a task as large as the one he'd given him would have taken a week to complete, Hidan had done it in a mere weekend.
"Are you expecting some prize for completing a task given to you by your boss?"
"Well it was bullshit. I mean, I ain't gettin paid for the fuckin' hours and hours and hours I slaved away doing these dumb charts." He said with only mild anger in his voice as he rapped his fingers against the leathery surface.
"It's called earning your keep, Hidan. It's how you acquire status and pay raises within your place of employment." He snapped back, to which the albino rolled his eyes, a soft violet in the dark lighting of his office, but didn't argue further.
Kakuzu had taken note of the small outburst from the boy back in his apartment, and had done his best to not go about calling Hidan or Itachi 'boy'; or at least not to their faces. He supposed the annoying brat had a point. He constantly thought to himself how little respect he was shown by Hidan, he'd naturally assumed that he had already earned the right of being given instant respect throughout his life. After all, he was the man-child's boss. But it occurred to him also that Sunday night after he got home that he was slightly at fault here too. You can't treat an adult like a child and expect them to still act like an adult. It's insulting as well as subliminally confusing.
Hidan had specifically requested for the elder man not to refer to him as ' boy', so he supposed he could do that much without relenting too far. If he was going to fix him, then he had to give rewards for good behavior, same as training a dog. And, he would admit in his own mind where no one else could hear, Hidan had been doing a rather outstanding job as of late.
"If they're finished, then file them all back in their proper places." He said then, waving at the wall of file cabinets behind his employee.
"File'em... like alphabetically?" Hidan replied, finally grasping the briefcase and removing it from its obstructive place on the Doctors desk.
Kakuzu stared back emotionlessly in response. No, just throw them in there wherever you please...of course alphabetically, moron. "Yes..." He finally said, trying not to let the man's stupid questioning get to him. After all, he'd gotten them all done, this was no time for punishment. "In correspondance with their last names."
"Tch, I figured that, since they're all listed backwards on the folders." Hidan said lowly, moving hesitantly to the cabinets and setting the case down.
Dr. Hoku went back to his paperwork as he questioned; "If you knew that then why did you ask?"
"I was just making sure, you mean old bastard, don't wanna give you any excuse to bitch at me." He replied smartly, unclasping the briefcase and pulling out a large stack.
"If you do a competent job then I won't have one."
"Well I didn't plan on fucking up something so fucking simple!"
"Then shut your trap and get to it."
"Yes sir, master sir." Hidan said, sliding open a drawer and sniffling heavily.
"And there are tissues there on the cabinet. Don't go spreading your germs on the files." He added, ignoring the strange pleasure he derived from being reffered to as 'master', despite the sarcasm. It had nothing to do with Hidan saying it. No, of course not. That would be foolish. He was simply egotistical, and he didn't mind pretending he owned people like possesions.
Hidan only grunted in response, and the next half hour was spent in silence interrupted only by the shuffling of papers from the Doctor and the clicking and sliding of the drawers as Hidan went about his task.
The elder man couldn't help glancing up every now and again at his employee, as much as it annoyed him to do so.
The dark grey, collared shirt Hidan wore today was slightly small on him, and when he hunched down or bent over to retrieve more files, it clung tightly to his moderatly toned back. Kakuzu couldn't help but notice the mans pleasant stature, his average shoulder width that slimmed down to a decently narrow waist, not so thick as to be feminine, but certianly not blatantly masculine either, marred beyond that by his black slacks that fit just well enough to pull against a relativley girly rear. It was cute, he caught himself thinking, that Hidan had such a small, but round ass.
As soon as this thought passed through his brain though, he snapped himself out of it, refocusing his attention back to his job. At least until his secretary doubled over again.
Dammit old man, stop that. For fucks sake, how many female employee's had done the same thing and never enticed a single gaze? And yet for some reason this insufferable idiot brought it on?
Maybe he was going senile...
.
"Where do you want this?" Hidan asked when he was finished, holding up the briefcase when he was finished.
Kakuzu looked up, forcing his features into neutrality as he did. "Set it here beside the desk." He ordered, and the secretary did as such.
"I need you to go to the shed out back and pull out the wheelchair labled #16 and take it up front, a woman named Sakura Haruno will be picking it up at nine this morning for her father. Here." He paused, wheeling over to the side to pull open a drawer and pick through a few papers before pulling out a form and handing it to him. "Have her fill this out, and be sure to inform her that she will not recieve her deposit back if it is in any condition less than it it now when she returns it. The keys are hanging on the wall beside the water cooler. The lock likes to stick, don't throw one of your tantrums trying to unlock it."
"Tch, like I'd give you the satisfsction.." Hidan muttered, taking the forms and studying them for a second before turning to leave.
"Lock it back up when you're done and hang the keys where you found them." Kakuzu ordered, ignoring the comment. Surely hidan would have the common sense to know to do that much already, but the boy was unpredictable, most often, and he didn't like to take chances.
Hidan paused halfway out the door to step back in and stare at the Doctor for a few lasting moments. Realizing he was still there, the older man looked up, brows furrowed. "What?"
Hidan blinked, as if not realizing he'd stopped, and reached up to scratch the nape of his neck, clearing his throat. "Uh, I was thinking, if my job is opening and closing, shouldn't you give me a spare key so I don't have to wait for you in the mornings?"
Kakuzu snorted sarcastically, "You think you've earned enough trust for such a thing on your second day?"
"Hey fucker!" Hidan snapped, his own brows dropping in anger. "I'm not gonna fucking steal shit, it just makes more sense for me to already have all that crap done by the time your old ass finally putters in!"
"Worry about your current duties, Hidan. We both know what happens when you trouble yourself with thinking." He answered, not looking up as he signed the current statement he was on and set it aside to move on to the next one. "Now go, get out of my sight."
"Ass." Hidan muttered, dissapearing from the doorway.
That observation stuck with him though, for another month. And finally, after pulling out Hidan's credentials and going through it one more time to assure himself that none of the criminal charges against Hidan had been related to theft, (They had not. Every single one of them was either drug possession or some form of being a public nuisance, with the occasional bit of assault and/or battery charges thrown in there) he took a moment to present the man with a spare key, informing him sincerely that he would not get another if he lost it, and that he was not allowed by any means to inform another living soul- not even his roommate- that he had a spare key to a building that housed not only incredibley expensive machinery, but near endless documents of strictly confidential information.
His secretary had proven useful in that time, afterall. And as much as he hated to say it, had handled all his responsibilities flawlessly. He'd been unfortunatly impressed even by the simple but admittedly clever notion the man had had to make a seperate schedule book related only to phonecalls.
It was around this time that his in-depth awareness of his age had made itself clear, settling constantly in the back of his mind, locked away but not out of sight, right beside this strange fondness he was unhappy to realize he was developing for Hidan.
In fact, the two may very well be directly associated with one another, he realized, the very day after he'd given the pale man the spare key and with it a vauge offering of trust. It was the last business day of the month, then, which was also one of the worst days of each month for the Doctor; payday.
Long after the sun had set, after Hidan had finished closing up the clinic, he stopped short of heading straight to his car as he normally did, waiting by the corner of the building where the silver-haired man usually stood and smoked a cigarrette as he awaited a ride home.
Hidan had stepped out of the door, turned around momentarily to lock up, and started toward his boss only to stop just short of him when he finally looked up from placing the key securely in his shirt pocket and saw the man standing there.
The two had stood there for no more than two seconds, but in that short amount of time Kakuzu had allowed himself to stare at his employee. The lighting was dim, after all, and even though his face remained impassive as always, he felt more comfortable to know Hidan wouldn't notice his eyes regarding him just a little too closely.
He had to admit, he rather liked the man's hair gelled back the way he always wore it when at work. It made him look older, professional, more mature than he'd seemed on that dreadful night when Kakuzu had seen him in overly-casual attire. It was comforting to him for Hidan to appear older than he was, made the older man slightly less hateful toward himself for this unwanted physical attraction he felt for the man-child.
Finally Hidan broke the silence with a rudely proclaimed question, quickly breaking the eye-contact they'd been holding and if Kakuzu wasn't terribley mistaking, maybe tinting ever-so-slightly in the cheeks.
Kakuzu silently reached into his pocket and pulled out the unmarked envelope, extending it out to the man.
Hidan had cautiously took it, apparently not realizing what occasion it was. His hesitance dissapeared instantly though when he pulled out the check, face breaking into child-like wonderment, as if he'd just been given the deed to a chocolate factory.
He laughed excitedly, and for a brief second made Kakuzu's heart simultaneously leapt into his throat and dropped into his stomache as Hidan lunged toward him, acting almost as if he were about to hug his boss. He didn't though, and only whooped right in his face before shrieking out what could only be described as crazy bird calls as he took off sprinting toward home.
Dr. Hoku stared after him, scowling, though more at himself. He felt disgusting, putrid, because for reasons he could not fathom, he felt disappointed that Hidan hadn't actually leaped onto him the way he'd thought he was about to.
Brief images of a sleepy Hidan in his arms, smiling up at him flashed through his mind. And this only infuriated him further.
Grumbling to himself and seething, he'd progressed home, only to find himself unable to fall asleep until sometime after 1 in the morning. Which made for two hours of un-restful sleep, seeing as he awoke an hour early to prepare for work. 6 hours of rest was pushing it, as far as the reasearchers of such nonsense liked to say. However, Kakuzu had always been able to function perfectly with exactly 6 hours. Any more than that and he found himself more tired than he'd been before he'd laid down. But two... now that was pushing it. Terribley unhealthy, first of all, and second, made for a grouchy Dr. Hoku. And that was usually a very, very bad thing, seeing as the man was apparently the asshole of all assholes to begin with.
The borderline insomnia had not ceased after that, unfortunatly, and his wearyness influenced the notion of his age only increasing as he struggled throughout his days to stay awake. He of course couldn't show any weakness around Hidan, even though half time he saw the little rat he wanted to strangle him for constantly invading his thoughts while he lay in bed at night, while the other half of the time he had trouble looking away.
The albino had caught him even, in moments like that, standing there just stareing. And it was the strangest thing to Kakuzu, sometimes he was sure he'd see the man redden before he looked away, but it was hard to tell. You'd think someone so pale would look like a tomatoe should they blush, but not Hidan. All that was there was the slightest little hint of pink, which was hard to differentiate between a blush of embarrassment, or turning red because he was getting angry over something.
Once, Hidan was struggling with the copy machine- he'd more or less taught himself how to use it, but the thing was just as temperamental as all the outdated appliances in this clinic were- and Kakuzu had come into the reception area from the waiting room, having just shown a patient out, and found him growling under his breath as he punched button after button only to receive a buzzer sound; the machines way of telling him it wasn't going to work today.
He stood, leaning somewhat against the arch that subtly pronounced the seperation between the two room, arms crossed across his chest and allowing a small grin as he watched the man be outsmarted by an inanimate object.
"Stupid fucking piece of worthless goddamn shit. My laptop could do your job in three seconds if I had a scanner and printer! Who the fuck uses copy machines anyway!? YOU'RE GODDAMN OBSOLETE!"
He smacked the side of the machine with an open palm, making the Doctor's grin fade slightly. Obsolete or not, that copy machines was expensive. And to damage expensive property of the Doctor's was to ask for death.
He almost intervened, before the machine buzzed again loudly and started to work.
"That's fucking better you fucking cocksucking robot wanna-be!" Hidan said victoriously, just before it puttered out again, eliciting another loud beep of refusal.
"Agh! No! I'm sorry!" He said, leaning over the machinery to shake it lightly, then actually embracing the thing. He rubbed the side of it in an almost seductive way, making Kakuzu actually concentrate in order to hold back uncharacteristic laughter that tickled the back of his throat.
"C'mon babyyy, I was just kidding. You were so fucking close!" He purred, continuing the sensual rubbing for a few more heartbeats before he straighted up and smacked it again.
"Fucking WORK you piece of shit!"
Kakuzu did step in now, to spare the poor thing from any more abuse and/or molestation. But instead of announcing his presence, he only slipped quietly behind Hidan and reached around him to press and hold the cancel button.
The albino jumped and whirled around, then gasped slightly to find the elder man so close to him. Without thinking, the Doctor suspected, he tried to take a step back only to nearly fall after he ran into the copier, and because of that actually stumbled forward into ihs boss, who he'd been trying to evade in the first place.
Kakuzu caught and steadied him, more of less out of reflex just like the last time. However this time he pulled his hands away immediatly and inched backward slightly, realizing he was unusually close.
"God and baby Jesus in fucking heaven, what the fuck you fuckin' old perve!? What the hell are you doing?"
"I was trying to give you assistance before you broke my copy machine." He said back casually, noticing how red the man's face was but at the moment attributing it entirely to his anger.
"Well shit! You don't have to give me a damn heart-attack. How bout a little fuckin' warning next time. Christ..." he exhaled, running his hand over his combed back hair.
"The machine is temperamental occasionally." He explained. "When it get stuck like this the best thing to do is cancel everything out. Give it a minute to catch up, and try again." He said, punching back in what Hidan had previously typed, just one copy of something, most likley the schedule for tomorrow, since it was nearing 7 p.m.
The machine gave the doctor a lengthy buzz, still refusing to cooperate.
"If it still doesn't work. Cancel out, and turn off the machine. Do not unplug it, but give it a few moments to cool. Then try again." He pressed and held the button with a big red X on it again until the screen blanked and then returned to a blinking cursor awaiting orders. Then he tapped the power button twice, which brought up the option to shut down on the screen. He clicked the power once more, and it whirred as if about to do something for ten more seconds before powering down.
Hidan clicked his tongue in annoyance. "You'd save time by shelling out a few hundred bucks and fucking buying a new one, y'know."
"Perhaps I'd save time. But you have plenty to spare, theres no rush to make copies of a paper that will still be there after sitting idle for ten minutes. Patience is a virtue, Hidan."
"Tch, you're one to talk, Mister quit-wasting-time-and-money-and-get-to-work!"
Kakuzu's brow furrowed. Why was he attempting to be nice again? Oh right, because Hidan was actually a good worker, and deserved reward. Dammit.
"There is a difference between wasting time and useing it wisely. I did not advise you so sit there and do nothing for ten minutes. I only said to wait that long before trying it again."
Hidan eyed him, but didn't continue the arguement. Kakuzu only stared at him, his tired eyes trailing absently from the suspicious, tight expression, down his chin, glancing at his collar, the three unfastened buttons just below that. No chest hair, Kakuzu noticed. That's right, Hidan must shave his chest, as he'd been perfectly hairless that night at his apartment too, galavanting around the entire time while topless.
"Do I have something on my fucking shirt, or what?" Hidan said, snapping his attention back to pigment-less eyes. He inwardly punched himself at getting caught yet again, and without his exhausted mind really thorougly considering it, he reached out to point at an invisible spot on Hidan's shirt.
"Right there." He said, waiting until the pale man looked down before quickly lifting his hands and flicking his nose.
Hidan flinched far more than he should have at such a small action, rubbed his nose, and stared at Kakuzu as if he'd just pulled off his skin and revealed that he were really an alien from outer space.
"What the fuck was that?"
"Oldest trick in the book."
"Whahh...?"
"Oh come now, even kids these days know that one."
"Well yeah, no shit, but... what the hell?"
"What?"
"Are you fucking high or something?"
Kakuzu only rolled his eyes and turned back to the copier to turn it on.
Smooth, old man.
He was also a little confused as to 'what the fuck' that was. Good God, he's been continuously distracted by the vulgar idiot for months on end, loses sleep because he can't get his damn mind off him, and now this humiliatingly pathetic little display that could very well be considered some rediculous form of flirtation?
'What the fuck?', Indeed.
The machine whirred back to life, and he waited a few moments until it was ready, then punched in the information again, and hit the button with a big green O.
Get yourself together Doctor. Really.
The machine finally complied, and spit out multiple sheets of paper, which he hadn't been expecting. Hidan went to grab it suddenly, which peaked the Doctors curiosity, and prompted him to snatch them up to look at them, finding pages of sheet music instead of tomorrows scheduled clients.
"What is this?" He said, looking over to his employee, who looked a shade darker than before, if he wasn't mistaken. He looked back down to read what the song was called, 'Little Lion man' it read, by some singer who called themselves Mumford and Sons. He scoffed, kids these days with their music...
Beneath the notes were the lyrics, he read only the first line; Weep for yourself, my man. You'll never be what is in your heart.~ before it was yanked quickly from his hand by pale, grabby fingers. Then Hidan, just as quickly, retrieved what was actually a thin booklet from inside the scanner of the machine.
"Nothing. It's from the library... It's due back soon and I... uh... My friend wanted to learn it..."
Kakuzu nulled this over for a moment, being sure to shoot the boy a disapproving glare. First of all, Kakuzu was vaugley sure he didn't even have any other friends than Itachi. And he seriously doupted that the Uchiha boy would ask Hidan to make copies while on the job. Hidan was lying to him, which annoyed him. But he was only lying because he was obviously humiliated at being caught, and this enlightened his sour mood somewhat, for a few seconds, at least.
Well, at least this distracted from that awkward moment before. And gave him a perfect chance to come to his senses.
"This is a place of business, you brat. That copy machine is meant for work-related papers, not your passing fancies."
"Okay, damn. I'm fuckin' sorry..." Hidan relented without a fight, seemingly still embarrassed.
Kakuzu was not done, however. His weary, cranky mind redirected his anger at himself into unreasonable anger at his employee's incompetence. It was justified to him, of course, Hidan did something wrong, and had to get a slap on the hand so he wouldn't do it again.
"What task are you putting off in order to take time to copy these papers?" He growled, eyes narrowing.
"I'm not putting anything off!" Hidan defended, almost seeming offended that his boss would suggest such a thing."I already checked out all of tomorrows clients and cleaned the examination room and the bathroom, I did fucking inventory and restocked just like you told me to-"
"Did you order all the supplies we're low on?"
"Yes, and I subtracted it from the monthly funds and averaged out the fucking books too. You only have one more goddamn client today and he won't be here until nine. I figured I had time to make a few copies while I'm here."
"You could have used the copier at the library when you returned the book."
"And pay a fucking dollar per-page! Fuck that! Why the hell can't I use this one? I'm not hurting anything."
Kakuzu resisted raising a single brow in interest. Since when was Hidan thrifty? "You recieve a paycheck from me each month, you have the money to spend."
"You goddamn scrooge! My checks go to paying off my fucking debt I don't fucking have any to spare!"
"That's none of my concern."
"What the fuck is the big deal!? God! You're such a fucking ass!"
"You're using my paper and my machine, you will go by my rules. No more. Do that shit on your own time." He said, dismissing the conversation with a wave and turning to walk away. Hidan followed though, which only irritated him further.
"The library is 9 fucking blocks from my house and it's fucking winter! Why can't you give me a fucking break you old miser?"
Kakuzu whirled, taking in a breath to match the shouting man's volume, only to stop short when he finds Hidan immediatly behind him, face angry and set in a determined scowl.
"Am I doing a bad fucking job or what? I've been working my ass off for you and you don't have the common fucking decency just to let me use your damn copier?"
"Not when you're going to beat it." He replied sternly, though his anger was dying away as he continued looking into those peony-pink eyes. It was strange, he could see Hidan's anger, but it was almost like there was some sort of hurt mixed along with it. This, he didn't understand. He hadn't really even insulted the boy, why would he be so wounded by simply being told no.
"Tch. Fuck it. You're a fucking joke, y'know? 'You have to earn your respect.' What a load. All I've been doing is trying to earn it, and you-" He stopped, scowling heavily and grinding his teeth as he seemed to consider something. Then, his posture relaxed and he sighed, lifting a hand to run it through his hair again. "Whatever... I'm not gonna let you make me freak out again. I don't need your goddamn favors anyway..." With that, he turned around and walked away.
Kakuzu let him. Hah, spineless brat. He turned around and walked away himself, pushing back the unwanted sensation of guilt with his stubborn resolve. He'd done nothing wrong, he had no reason to feel bad. If the moron wanted to behave like a child and pout, let him. He didn't have time for regret and guilt, especially when it stemmed from that idiot. He was his boss, not his friend. And he wasn't going to coddle him.
.
That night, he couldn't manage to sleep at all until the sun peeked over the horizon. Luckily enough it was a weekend, so he didn't have to drag himself out of bed at 3 in the morning like usual. And this realization led him to do something he hadn't done in years; sleep in. Fortunatly, he managed to catch up, not waking up until well after 3 in the afternoon, and as a result, felt even worse than he had originally.
Despite that, this somehow became a weekly custom for the man, waking late every Saturday to make up for the sleep he couldn't ever seem to get during the weekdays. It made his body ache and groan, trying desperatley to remind him that he wasn't young anymore, not built for late nights and even later mornings.
This bothered him more and more as each day went by, dragging on slower and slower as his mind grew more and more sleep-deprived. It became harder just to do the normal tasks that had once been a daily routine for him. Keeping his house tidy was one that suffered greatly, instead of taking time to cook healthy meals for himself, he often ended up skipping them completley, not having the energy to do more than make himself a few sandwiches throughout the day, and as far as his home-gym went... Well, he'd closed the door some time ago, telling himself he'd rest for the weekend and get back at it the next.
The door had not been given even a glance since then.
Hidan seemed to get over the incident quickly, and had not attempted to get back at the man for his unreasonable refusal to use the copy machine for personal agendas. He continued to work just as diligently, to Kakuzu's dissatisfaction. And even further than that, Kakuzu had been continuously giving him more and more simple but tedious tasks, being far too exhausted to have any sort of patience enough to deal with such minor things.
Every ounce of spare energy he had went toward making sure to act his normal self around the albino nuisance. He was no fool, and he realized long ago that by some strange cosmic force, he'd been slowly adapting the pale man's lifestyle. Not sleeping, barely eating, dedicated completley to assuring his employee that he was still perfectly capable, but laying his head down onto his desk in a miserable surrender to his fatigue as soon as he was safely out of sight.
And he found himself strangley interested in the sheet music the boy had copied. He'd never recieved even an inkling that Hidan might be musically inclined. He'd not seen a single instrument at their apartment during his stay there. his curiosity was only made worse on one occasion when he'd made a trip to the bathroom. When he'd come back out, he'd heard singing, which immediatly had his confused. There were no radio's in the clinic, no way to play music, he knew, seeing as Hidan did not have one of those 'smart phones' all the kids had these days which allowed them to do just that. So where was it coming from?
He had tiptoed a small ways up the hall, hiding behind the outcroping of wall in the hallway, out of sight from the pale man in the waiting room, sweeping the floor.
"Weep for yourself, my man, you'll never be what is in your heart..." He heard, remembering those words from the sheet music. He realized suddenly that it was Hidan singing while he worked. He was doing so quietly and mostly under his breath, but he was somewhat astounded by how pleasant the sound was to him.
"Weep, little lion man, you're not as brave as you were at the start..."
So he liked to sing? Kakuzu mused, smirking to himself. His employee was so full of surprises sometimes. He'd honestly never expected such a womanly act from the man. Still though, who was he to throw out insults, sitting here listening as he was. Why was he listening? He wasn't sure, as had become somewhat usual for him. But he couldn't stop himself, he found.
"Rate yourself and rape yourself, take all the courage you have left. Wasted on fixing all the problems that you made in your own head."
The Doctor wasn't anywhere near oblivious, and he knew that Hidan's generation thrived with music. It gave them something to relate to, a way to channel their emotions. Like a familiar stranger they could recede to whenever the mood struck them. He thought it relitivley stupid of him to not toss Hidan in with all those statistics, of course he'd be a music-lover, he was twenty-two, just barely out of adolesence. He realized also how ironic this song was to be sung by Hidan. Wasted on fixing all the problems that you made in your own head. How very similar, how very interesting.
"And it was not your fault, but mine. It was your heart on the line. I really fucked it up this time, didn't I, my dear? Didn't I... my dear..."
He slipped away then, having had enough of his own irritating behavior, standing there listening to the man sing like some swooning woman. It was rediculous, but at the same time he was distrubed by how entranced he was. Hidan's voice rang in his ears, impressive to him by his own standards, seeing as he rarely paid attention to music in such a way as to judge the man for his talent.
He actually liked it, he thought with a slight bit of horror. He wouldn't mind hearing his employee finish the song... it was so strangley soothing...
What was happening to him? He often wondered as time continued to pass on from that moment. Being unable to rest was what started it all, every one of his new bad habits only feeding off of each other as he spiraled faster and faster toward somr sort of breaking point. But he could not wrap his head around what, exactly, it was that was keeping him awake. Images of Hidan constantly invaded his mind, that too, pissed him off and fed itself as he lay there trying to convince his head that this phase had lasted long enough, and was due to end soon.
As he forced himself to think of something other than Hidan, finding only that nothing else was worth thinking about, in the sense that his entire life revolved around his business, and with Hidan a part of that, no matter what he did that insufferable idiot slipped back into his head! The man had no hobbies, he had no time for hobbies, because he was always working, earning money. He had no real friends aside from Kisame, who of course was dating the roommate of that pale bastard plagueing his mind. There was no escape, everywhere he turned was Hidan. And the fact that he kept surprising him with all these little quirks, the fact that he was not disgusted by all these things he knew he would surely find revolting on the persona of anyone else, it was troubleing. Troubleing to the point where he normally forced himself just to push it from his mind. Why worry about it? He was a doctor, not a psychologist. he had no need to understand it, all he wanted to do was get rid of this damn bug that refused to fly away.
It always came buzzing right back though, as soon as he would finally distract himself. He would be going about his duties, and every so often hear hidan softly singing in that mesmerizing way. He would stop and listen, only for a moment, but he always did. Wondering what else the albino was hiding from him, hiding from the world. Wondering just how deep that broken mind of his actually went, how much more mystery the man kept trapped within that terrible outward personality. It was to the point where his employee was soon on his mind almost constantly. Every thought he had, every action he made somehow reminded him of the fool.
Always Hidan. Everywhere. All the time.
.
"Kakuzu, old pal!" Kisame's cheery voice exclaimed over the phone. "How the hell are you? Haven't heard a single peep in months! I take it that kid isn't being too hard on ya eh?"
"Indeed Kisame, I could never repay you for what you've done." Kakuzu grumbled back, massaging his tired eyes.
"Hmmm, that sounded like sarcasm, but it didn't have it's usual bite. You okay man?"
"Not at all." He admitted, far too fed up with holding his composure in front of Hidan to bother with doing the same with his only friend.
"Damn, the kid runnin' you through the ringer or what?"
"In a sense..." Cryptic responses at the moment, he may admit he's suffering, but he could never tell the man why. He'd go blabbering to that Uchiha boy without a doupt.
"Well are you sick? You sound plain-out beat. Gimme a hint here."
"It's none of your concern, Kisame. Hidan informed me that you told him this was a business call, so get to it."
"Heh. I only told him that so he'd put me through to you. Still didn't work, what's that about? Are you so booked he has to schedule your freeking calls?"
"Business has been increasing as it always does with the upcoming allergy season, yes. But the calling schedule was his idea, this way I don't get interrupted in the middle of my work."
There was an amused chuckle on the other end of the line. "His idea eh? Woow, what a good little slave to help out his master like that without an order."
"He has been doing well, unfortunatly."
"A compliment too! Yeah, Kakuzu, You're obviously delerious with , tired, sick old man. Prescribe yourself some bedrest eh?"
"Believe me, Hoshigaki, I've tried..." He sighed, leaning back in the big office chair, letting his head fall over the edge to stsre up at the ceiling.
The other end of the phone remained quiet for a moment, and Kakuzu very nearly dozed off, not even realizing his eyes had fallen shut until the voice on the other end snapped him back to awareness.
"Kakuzu... you're kinda freaking me out here. Are you saying you've been having trouble sleeping or what?"
He considered this question heavily before he answered, and found himself slightly disturbed by the fact that he actually wanted to confide in the man.
He'd hit a dead end here, as far as possible solutions to his problems went. He could not fire the secretary responsible for all this, even less-so now since he'd been exceeding expectations. Even without his legal history, the Doctor had absoloutly no grounds to justify his termination. He'd been a huge help, if anything, though he'd never admit it out loud.
And Kakuzu Hoku was far, far too stingy to give himself vacation time in order to get away from the terrible distraction that was Hidan and get his thoughts back in order. Not only would the income of his business suffer, not only would this also mean giving Hidan the time off, in spite of all of that, he had a duty to his patients as the only licensed Doctor in town. Even if he weren't at the clinic, all the calls would forward themselves to his cell. Even while on vacation, he would still be working, despite it still being far less responsibility than usual.
"Yes." He replied simply, coming to a reluctant conclusion. Kisame never had qualms with coming to him with his problems, and with the ocean-loving man being the only human on earth he was reasonabley close to, he had no other to ask for help. And having gone through so many other new and unusual experiences these past few months, what was one more?
"Kisame..." He continued hesitantly, but then unable to say anything more. How did one go about asking for help without seeming pathetic? He wouldn't know, he couldn't recall every having such problems that required the need to do so. He could only go by those who had come to him with the request, and since he was speaking with his dear friend, perhaps something similar to what the man, himself, did would be the right path.
"What up?" the voice at the other end of the phone said, his voice still as jovial as usual, but now with thick concern spread heavily over it.
Kakuzu sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Dammit, I can't believe I'm asking this... Would you have free time this afternoon? We could go get some of your cherished alchohol, if you like."
The deadly silence on the other end almost made him hang up right then and there, to avoid further embarrassment. But finally Kisame replied, making him breathe a sigh of relief at the absence of any teasing.
"Absoloutly, my friend. And this time, it's on me. I still owe you from before."
"You owe me from many other instances as well."
Kisame laughed. "Yeah, this is true. But let's take one step at a time neh? So what's your pleasure, wanna hit the bar again?"
"Absoloutly not." Kakuzu replied immediatly. He had absoloutly no intention of repeating past mistakes. The weather was perfectly acceptable now, it being the end of March and the beginning of Spring, but he'd be damned if he were to risk being stranded like he had been all those months ago. His luck had only worsened in that time, and he knew without a doupt that something would go wrong. And to add to that, he had no urge at all to talk to the man about his affairs admist the public eye.
"Alright, no prob. Your place or mine?"
Kakuzu considered this, and came to a decision quickly, what with the disarray his residence was still in.
"Yours, I'd like to get out of the house... And don't you dare go inviting that Uchiha." he added menacingly.
"Hah, you already sound like you're feeling better. You got it, I'll pick up some brew here in an hour when I get off, and see you there after nine, assuming you still keep the same hours."
"You assume correctly."
"Yeah, I shoulda known, you stubbon old scrooge. It's a date then!"
"Shut up Kisame." He said, though didn't hang up on him like usual. "I'll see you then."
"Yup."
Now, he did hang up, leaning forward to massage his temples. He glanced up at the clock, only a little after four in the afternoon. He still had the rest of the day to deal with his issues and his infuriating employee, as well as a paycheck to write up and distribute to the man. But, that was okay, he thought, strangley enough. He felt better for some reason, as Kisame had stated. And this, while still irritating him, also comforted him, assuring him that this had not been as terrible a decision as it seemed.
In any case, he still had many hours to ponder over it, plenty of time to decide against it, if he thought it neccesary.
.
The end of the day came relitively fast, Hidan had been rather quiet today. In fact, if he wasn't mistaken, the pale man actually seemed rather glum. He was disturbed once again to notice that he noticed such a thing, but brushed it off, determined not to let it continue to affect him.
He would go to Kisame's tonight, and if he were lucky the man would have better insight into his problems, being the emotional wreck he often was. If anyone could help him find a way out of this, or at least find a better way to cope with it until it withered and died, it would be his oceanic friend.
As usual on the last business day of the month, he begrudgingly handed a somber Hidan the envelope with his earnings hidden inside, slightly put off by how the man accepted it without any emotion at all, and then waited by the door for his boss to finish up and leave so that he could lock up.
He didn't like hidan acting this way, as much as he hated to say it. Calm and thoughtful didn't suit him, and it was obvious that he was having some sort of problem in that insane head of his. Impulsively, he told the pale man to go ahead and go wait for his ride, that he had a few papers to gather, and he would lock up.
The pigmentless eyes didn't react in any way at all to this, which perturbed him further. No appreciation, though he didn't expect it, and no surprise at the gesture, which he had expected. Hidan could be sharp when he wanted to, and the Doctor didn't bother to dismiss the man without all his tasks being finished, even one so small as locking the door. He would have thought, even if nothing was said, that Hidan would notice and at least be somewhat suspicious.
But he received nothing. Only a nod to show he'd heard him, before he left without a sound.
Kakuzu stayed in the same place, plagued and irritated by the concern involuntarily forcing itself on him. He didn't actually have any papers to get together, he'd said what he did without really thinking about it, another annoying result of his exhaustion. But he stood there and counted to thirty to make it seem as if that's what he was doing, before continueing out the door, pulling his keys from his pocket and locking the clinic behind him.
He spared a glance at his secretary as he passed him to reach his car. Hidan didn't even look up, his eyes unfocused in the direction of the parking lot as he puffed on a cigarette.
Again concern trickled into him, but he pushed it away just as he did every other unwelcome emotion. He didn't care for the boy, and he didn't care to know what was troubling him. He was a grown man, he could handle his own problems. Kakuzu already did more than neccessary for him.
He slipped into his car, started it up, and backed out. He allowed another glance at Hidan, surprised then to find the pale man stareing sadly back at him. He forced himself not to make any expression as the stare between them lingered. Why was he so bothered by hidan's mood? He asked himself. Perhaps because it was unusual, he'd never really witnessed this melancholy sadness from the man before. He'd seen him angry, he'd seen him too overjoyed to contain himself, he'd seen him calm, but never had he seen him so... depressed. Part of him had somewhat forgot that the man even had mental instability, he'd been so normal for all these months.
Perhaps he was just having an off night, as far as his mental capacity was concerned.
He finally wrenched his eyes away, pushed the shifter into drive, and pulled away.
.
Dr. Hoku went directly to Kisame's after that. He had no wish to return to his dissheveled house, there was nothing there he needed anyway. And this was not a date, as Kisame had jokingly referred to it, and thusly he had no reason to change from the clothes he'd worn to work.
He worked vigurously at putting the albino out of his mind for the moment as he entered the man's house without knocking. It was rude, yes, but Kisame didn't mind, he knew for a fact. His personality wouldn't allow it.
The sound of someone strumming a guitar immediatly assaulted him as he removed his coat and hung it on one of the hooks on the wall, moving through the long entryway and making a right into the man's livingroom. He was greeted by the sight of his friend seated comfortabley on his sectional with a guitar in his hands, casually strumming out a tune he vaugely reacognized, but couldn't put a name to. The T.V. was on, but muted, something taht always annoyed the Doctor. Why waste electricity leaving the thing on if you weren't going to watch it?
Kisame opened his eyes, focusing on Kakuzu just as he made his way over to the couch and seated himself. A cheery grin tore across his face.
"Aah, you snuck up on me. I thought to myself there for a minute 'Does he even remember where I live?' But I figured you'd let me know if you didn't."
The elder eyed him for a moment, unsure really how to respond to this. It was then that he noticed the four beer cans on the coffee table beside Kisame's feet, crossed over one another.
"My God Hoshigaki, you're not drunk off of just those are you?"
Kisame laughed a little louder than the doctor thought necessary. "A little, my friend. A little. I figured, hey, it's my house, I paid for the shit, why wait?" He continued strumming on the guitar as he spoke.
Kakuzu rolled his eyes, letting them land on the guitar in the man's hands. Black body with a wooden neck, and some strange symbol printed on it. He'd never seen that one before, but then again, he hadn't been to the man's house in years.
"What tune is that?" He asked, finally being irritated enough by being unable to recognize it.
"Gold on the Ceiling," Kisame said, finishing up the song. "By The Black Keys. You like it?"
"I've heard it before, I don't mind it as much as some of the other rediculous music they're coming out with these days."
"It has kind of an old-timey sound to it neh? Old and new sounding at the same time."
Kakuzu nodded, he'd all but forgotten that Kisame dabbled in guitar-playing. When they were younger, it was one of the things that had interested him. He'd been playing an electric guitar he'd found at the house where the college party was being held that they'd first met at.
He also found it iritating that they were discussing music as they were, mainly for the fact that it reminded him of his employee. He'd managed to get his mind off of the brat for all of five minutes, that was a new record.
"Beer's in the fridge. Grab yourself one, you look like you need it." Kisame said, nodding back out into the hall, which lead to the kitchen. "Hell, grab the whole case and bring it in here if you want. No reason to keep walking back and forth, I'm sure it's cold enough by now. I got Rolling Rock*, I recalled that you liked that brand. " He said, giving the man a toothy grin.
Kakuzu grunted in response, but didn't get up quite yet. He was currently taking a second look at the symbol on the guitar.
"Isn't that the Alchoholics Anonymous symbol?" He questioned, gesturing to it. "I don't recall you ever having a drinking problem. And if you're drunk off of only four beers, I'd say you're giving yourself too much credit."
Kisame gave another hearty laugh, removing the instrument from his lap and setting it aside. "That's what I thought when I first saw it too. Itachi pointed out that the triangles pointing the wrong way. Turns out its some logo for the band that owned it before."
"What would possess you to purchase something with such an easily mistaken mark on it?"
"Baah, It's not mine. I'm holding it for Itachi. He got it as a birthday present for the kid." He said, patting it a couple times before pushing himself off the couch and pausing to stretch his back. "On second thought, you stay here. You're a guest, I'll get off my lazy ass and get the beer. You relax, you look like hell, man." He said before disappearing.
Kakuzu didn't really hear him, He was too taken off guard by this new information. he sat in the same place, muling this over as he stared at the guitar.
A birthday present for Hidan?
He almost felt stupid now, suddenly remembering that the man, indeed, had a birthday coming up. Within the next couple days, no less. As many times as he'd read through his employee's file, he really should have thought of that sooner. Was that why he'd been acting so strange?
Bloody hell, he'd probably expected his boss to wish him happiness on the day, or at least give him some sort of acknowledgement for it. But why would Kakuzu's negligence of that bring it on? It wasn't as if they were anything more than co-workers. No, surely it wasn't anything he'd done, the idiot probably had his own reasons for being upset over it.
And why did he care if he did something wrong anyway? It wasn't his responsibility to with his employee a happy birthday, though it was common curteousy.
Kisame re-entered the room then, holding two boxes, one of them opened. He set them down on the lage coffee table with the contents inside clinking together, and flopped back down into his seat after grabbing another one for himself.
"So what's up? You're never the one to propose ideas like this." He said, twisting off the bottlecap and taking a swig.
Kakuzu sighed heavily, grabbing himself a beer and repeating the action. He was certianly going to need the liquid relaxer for the rest of this night. Hell, maybe it would get his damn brain to stop centering on that albino fool.
"I'm not proud of being reduced to it..." He said, dodging the question.
"Well, it's not like I'm gonna give you shit for it. Like I said before, you look like hell. You said you haven't been able to sleep, what's up with that?"
"I'm not entirely sure. But I'm not stupid enough to hope that the weekend will bring any different results."
"Has it been going on for awhile? I've never seen you look so... Shit, I don't even know how to describe it. You're freaking me out though. Nothing ever bugs you this bad."
"Months..." He answered, staring at his beer, trying to sort out his thoughts before impulsivley lifting the bottle and downing what was nearly a full beer. When he lowered it finally and set it on the table, he looked back up to his old friend, regarding him with unrestrained concern.
"Well you have to talk to me, man. I can't do anything to help otherwise."
The doctor studied him for a moment, debating on whether he wanted to go through the pain and humiliation of opening up. His bloodshot eyes flicked over to the guitar for a moment, but he quickly tore them away in favor of reaching for another beer.
"You've helped enough just by giving me something to do. An empty house doesn't provide sufficient distraction."
"Distraction from what?"
"Un-important things."
"If they're not important then why are they bugging you?"
"That's what I'd like to know."
Kisame chuckled and shook his head, raising his beer to his lips again. "Alright, Mister cryptic, confusing, responses. I'll let it drop. I'm just happy I have someone to hang with on this Friday night. And an excuse to have a few."
"As if a grown man needs any excuse. You're not an alchoholic. And a beer a day is healthier than most people realize."
"Mmhmm, and I haven't had any since last time we drank together, so I got some catching up to do." He laughed, taking another swig.
"A rotten night that was..." Kakuzu mumbled, doing the same.
"Ahh, it wasn't so baaad."
"Perhaps not for you... You were practically ogling that Uchiha the whole time."
"Awe C'mon. Don't tease me like that. You're the one who told me to make a decision. I made one, pretty happy about it too. You give such good advice, you know?"
"I am a Doctor, Kisame."
"An uptight, crotchedy one." He laughed back. "You really threw me there for a bit though."
Kakuzu raised a single brow in question.
Kisame laughed.
"I seriously never even considered that you liked dudes, old friend. You had me fooled for a pretty long-ass time."
The Doctors brows furrowed, and he finished off his second drink quickly. "It wasn't any of your or anyone else's business anyway..." He muttered, reaching for another.
"Yeah, that's true. It was just a shocker though, you know. We've been friends forever, I didn't know you had any more surprises left in that dense personality of yours. it was wierd, finding out I didn't know everything about you like I thought I did."
"Well, your concious can rest easy now. That was the last 'surprise'."
"Is it? Awe, that's a bummer."
Again Kakuzu shot him a quzzical look. Kisame only shrugged in response, smiling to himself as if he was aware of something that the elder man wasn't.
"What are you smirking for?"
"I'm not smirking. I'm smiling, That's what people do when they're happy, you know. Try it some time."
"Don't give me that. You're making fun of me."
"No, honestly I'm not!"
"Then what's the smirk for?"
"I'm not smirking!"
"Kisame..." Dr. Hoku warned, to which he recieved only another laugh.
"Oh calm yourself. You're supposed to be relaxing. Do I need to show you how to do it again?" He joked, taking a few large swallows of his beer.
Kakuzu ignored the comment, dollowing the action once again, and continueing on as he finished off one more.
"Calm down you old coot, you're gonna make yourself sick!"
"I have perfect control of myself, thank you." He growled again, retrieving another bottle of alchohol.
"You don't seem like it. Seriously man, tell me what's bugging you. I can see so far it's something you're embarrased about. I'm not gonna go blabbing."
"Oh surely not, especially not to that gossiping Uchiha boy."
It was Kisame's turn to stare speculatory at his friend. "Why are you so worried about Itachi? Does it have something to do with him?"
"No. But he'd directly related to it."
"... is it about something that happened that night?"
"Somewhat."
The elder man jumped slightly then as Kisame flailed and groaned in a way that reminded him of Hidan. "C'mon Kakuzu!" He said loudly. " You're not one for bullshitting people. You came over here for a reason. I know you want to talk about it, so get on with it already!" he said, waving at him.
The Doctor stared at him for a few moments, considering. Right, he'd never really settled on any decision as to whether he was actually going to share his problems with the man, but he was right. He'd pretty well done the exact same thing that night Kisame had come to him, the roles had switched, but the problem was still the same. He needed some kind of consolment, some kind of venting that would get all this shit off his mind.
He was being childish, he realized, being so threatened by his friend and his fear that the information might leave this room. He knew the ocean-loving man well, and he would never betray him in such a way as to turn around and make Kakuzu's problems public knowledge. At least he surely hoped not, honestly he'd never had to confide such an embarrasing weakness to the man. He'd never been so troubled with anything, he'd always been perfectly capable of accepting himself the way he was, never felt any shame.
He sighed, leaning back, reveling in how good it actually felt to let himself melt into the couch cushions. On impulse, he tipped his head forward so that he could reach back behind him and pull the band from his hair. He felt an immediate release of pressure on his skull, and sighed again, this time from relief, before taking another large swallow of beer.
"I'm... Sorry..." He said hesitantly. The words felt so foreign on his lips. And apparently they felt just as foreign on his friends ears, who looked completley bewildered now.
"You're sorry? Holy shit Kakuzu... Did you kill someone?"
"No, you idiot!" He snapped back.
"Well then what the hell! You're seriously scaring me! What the fuck is the matter with you?"
He put a palm to his forehead, dragging it down his face as he growled beneath his breath in frustration. he sat back forward into his previous position, gulping down the rest of his beer as he steeled himself. He might as well just come out with it.
...But he couldn't.
"I don't know how to begin to tell you..." He admitted.
-o-
A/N-
Whew! Still alive guys! Sorry this took so long, I wanted to belt out a few chapters for CWM, seeing as it's been so long since I've posted anything on there.
i'm in a rush here so I'm not gonna say too aweful much.
Most of the asterisk's are yet again to claim that I don't own the rights to any of the names or whatever they were placed by.
Forgive all the typos, I love you guys, thanks so much for your encouraging reviews. And as always, don't forget to review!
See you next chapter!