A/N- HOLY SHIT! I just realized I almost have a hundred reviews. This seriously blows my mind guys. I can't believe it. Thank you everyone for your kind words of encouragement. As a reward, I'm giving whoever posts the 100th review a free one-shot request. (Why do I keep pushing this request thing? I don't know, I'm not getting any good ideas, my heads all bogged down with my multichapters.)
FOLLOW YOUR ARROW
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Itachi did not waste too much time in returing to his bed for some long awaited rest. His guilt had somewhat eased, which comforted him greatly. Just like Hidan, he really didn't want to make a giant ordeal out of this, as it had already been bad enough. But at the same time he didn't want to deny the matter the attention it deserves.
He supposed any futher conversing about it could be saved until later. Hidan was alive and acting just fine, even though he'd been acting just fine before it had all happened.
Brain, off.
He clenched his eyes tighter and pulled the sheets around him, terribley unsettled for reasons he both could and couldn't really explain. He didn't have any sort of random tidbits of knowledge on things like this. What did it mean when life started intentionally sabatoging you? When she distracted you with one moment of amazing, rapturous, unexplainable happiness while simultaneously working to the side to brew a situation that could potentionally destroy everything that you are?
He tried to calm himself and just wrap his entire concious mind around Kisame and that experience, and after a few hours he fell into a sort of sleep that was just barely not sleep. As if though he was moderatley sleeping, he was still aware of the world around him, of the sounds of muffled screaming and Hidan and Tayuya's laughter alike as they watched one of those disgusting gorey thrasher movies. He heard what sounded relitivley like a string of fireworks go off, but concluded it to be popcorn when the beeper for the microwave pinged through his half-concious state. And although he'd been sure he hadn't fallen asleep at all, when he finally grew tired of counting the minutes pass he opened his eyes and glanced at his alarm clock, which revealed that it was now 8 hours later; landing the time at just after 10.
"Wonderful..." He muttered angrily, flinging the blanket off himself due to the fact that he was suddenly wide awake. It was strange, he'd only spent one night that he couldn't really even remember with Kisame, and yet now his body acted as if it refused to let him rest without his rock there beside him. Or perhaps it could be that his sleep cycle had been thrown rediculously far off track...
Either way he was now awake at 10 o'clock at night on a Sunday when he should be going to sleep. Work was going to be aweful tomorrow, of that much he was sure...
He supposed he should fix himself a sandwhich or some sort of something edible, as he hadn't really eaten since dinner on Friday. And he didn't want to lose an entire 2 lbs and have people suddenly calling him anorexic. Imbeciles.
He tried to clear away the sudden stormcloud hovering over him as he slipped on a loose tee-shirt and shuffled down the hallway. Now that his mind was lingering on the townspeople, he couldn't seem to do that. Itachi was not a hateful person, honestly. He would admit that he could be somewhat of a bitch when you set him off, but he did not hold grudges, or tried very hard not to. They're simply not worth the energy of careing about.
And though he'd come to the conclusion that it was okay that his relationship had become public, and that there was nothing to do about it, he was now unexplainabley angry about it. Society, humanity. Hidan often stated how much he hated it. And though the Uchiha didn't agree completley with him, he certianly didn't like what it had been reduced too. Why did it matter who people were with? Unless one of the people in the couple is cheating, it does not affect anyone else, and there's no reason to gossip about it.
Sure, he could be accused just as much as anyone else of gossip. But for the most part it was harmless gossip, and for the rest of the part, he had no friends anyway to gossip with, except Hidan, who's focus on his masculinity usually opted out of any sort of gossip session. He was good acquaintances with a couple of his fellow psychaiatrists, but that's all it was.
Damn, didn't gay men stereotypically have themselves constantly surrounded with female friends? Why didn't he have any friends?
Oh right, because you had to actually go out and make friends. And he didn't do that because it was too much work to try and overcome the multiple labels that had been slapped onto him in this town. Because being trustworthy had practically gone extinct, and he had no intention of getting to know someone who was just going to disappear. Taht was not only exhausting, but painful.
He sighed just as he exited the hall, and the raincloud lifted somewhat when he was suddenly greeted with the sight of Hidan and Tayuya passed out on the couch, mostly from shock.
She's still here? Was his first thought, but that was blown completley out of the water when he realized that she was using Hidan as a pillow, and was snuggled rather close to him. He stopped in his tracks, brows furrowing in concern for this situation layed out before him.
The T.V was still on, having been turned to some regular channel now that the movie was over, and was sending it's blue-tinted flickers of light softly on the two.
Hidan was sprawled sort of diagonally on one edge of the couch, his head falling back to rest right in the crook where the tier met the armrest, with one leg stretched out across the cushions and the other foot on the floor. It looked as if he'd just fallen asleep while watching whatever show they had been consumed in.
Tayuya, however, was in a sort of fetal position, knees drawn up tight to her body with her arms crossed rightly beneath them. She was leaning on Hidan, halfway facing him, with her head placed comfortabley on his chest, rising and falling ever so slightly as the albino breathed rhythmically in his slumber. This pushed the Uchiha's analytical mind to assume that his roommate had fallen asleep first, and the pinkette had used the oppurtunity to cuddle up next to him. Whether this actually happened or not, he couldn't be certian. Maybe he was just subconiously defending his 'taken' friend, mainly for the fact that he didn't think Hidan to be any sort of cuddler, or any sort of cheater, despite how fresh and new he and Dr. Hoku's relationship was.
A bowl of mostly kernals sat on the coffee table in front of them, as well as two coffee mugs, one of them still half-full. And he was disturbed deeply by how he had just walked in on what appeared in all instances to be a date-night between two lovers.
Because they were not, he reminded himself, as he was also disturbed by the random thought of how cute the scene was. Damn his womanly tendancies to gush over romantic situations.
Tayuya had informed him that she did not think of Hidan in that way. And he knew that the albino did not feel like that about her either, as he knew for a fact his mind had been constantly centered around the Doctor for months on end.
So what the hell was this!?
A terrible, foreboding feeling began brewing in his gut, and he let his inner-Hidan free inside his mind momentarily to rant and rave. Goddammit, he didn't need anymore bullshit to deal with right now. What the fuck were they doing? How the fucking hell could they let him walk in on this? Stupid fucking idiots. Stupid bitch. Get the hell off him. This is no fucking time for that kind of shit. Goddammit. Fuck. Shit!
He resisted the urge to clear his throat and wake them up, as they were likley just as exhausted as he was. That, and the fact that Hidan was once again sleeping despite the fact that he had been unconcious for most of the previous night. No, he wasn't about to wake him up, expecially not to something that had the potential to turn into a 'drama-bomb' as the teenagers say.
So instead he tiptoe'd past them and went to the kitchen, though once he got there he realized that if he tried to go about making himself anything to eat, he would likley make some sort of noise and risk waking them up.
But this is okay... He reasoned. He could just pretend he hadn't seen anything, and save everyone the embarrassment and studdered half-truths that would likley come flooding out in their own defense.
So he set about making himself a sandwich with a small bowl of cottage cheese.
They did not even stir.
He sat at the table, letting the bowl clunk down rather loudly onto the surface, looking immediatly over to the pair as he did so.
Still no reaction.
He scowled, studying them for awhile, before his eyes absently drifted to the Television. They'd been watching MTV2, watching music videos, as the original MTV had been reduced to shows about pregnant teenagers, famous people with dying careers, and illiterate idiots who drank and partied and fried their lives away on tanning beds.
John Legend's newest song 'All of me' was playing. Itachi liked that song, it made him think of Kisame, of course, because romantic songs were intended to bring to mind one's significant other.
"What would I do without your smart mouth? Drawin' me in and you kickin' me out. Got my head spinnin', Nooo kiddin', I caaan't pin you down. What's goin' on in that beautiful mind? I'm on your magical mystery ride. And I'm sooo dizzy, don't know what hit me. But I'll be alright..."
If one removed the fact that John Legend was obviously talking about a woman he loved, the song sort of reminded him of his dear friend as well. If it could be considered a song about platonic love as well, it would certianly chime a bell of familiarity to he and his roommate.
"My heads underwaaater, but I'm breathing fine. You're crazy, and I'm out of my mind...'Cause all of me, loooves all of you. All your curves and all your edges, all your perfect imperfections. Give your aaall to me, I'll give my aaall to 're my end and my beginning, even when I lose I'm winning..."
Okay, so it was a little hard to think of it as just a platonic lovesong. So he'd just stick with thinking of Kisame while it played and he absently munched on his food. Though of course that wasn't exactly easy, as he was constantly plauged by the reminder of the very delicate, tricky situation Hidan was currently in every time he looked back over to watch the video accompaniment to the song.
He really wished one of them would wake up. He didn't know what the hell to do, and this was getting more and more uncomfortable as each second dragged on by.
John Legend stopped singing, Itachi finished his sandwhich and started in on the cottage cheese, and as he shifted to sit cross-legged on the chair, (Hidan often teased him about how he always sat cross-legged, accused him of having a phobia of his feet touching the ground. That was rediculous, of course, for obvious reasons. He simply just found it more comfortable.) a string of commercials played before giving way to a song that had come out sometime last year. It was a duet between Jason Mraz and Christina Perri, which automatically pushed him to assume it would be something relating to broken hearts.
Just as the introduction piano music filtered out into the room, one of the individuals on the couch finally stirred. Itachi was happy to see Tayuya's pink hair- a complete rat nest by now- lean up into a sitting position. She stretched, and yawned quietly, sniffed, and then stared down at Hidan.
The Uchiha could only see a very small portion of the side of her face thanks to her tangled mess of hair, and because of this it was hard to see what she was thinking. But she stared at him for a very long time. He let her, and merely sat back and watched, mostly for curiosity's sake. She lifted her arm, extending it toward his face as if to stroke his cheek, and then stopped herself, dropping her hand and letting out a long sigh before she scooted back to the other edge of the couch and reclaimed her fetal position, wrapping her arms around her shins and resting her head on her knees. She continued to stare at Hidan.
In the background, Christina Perri sang; "The sun is filling up the room, and I can hear you dreaming. Do you feeeel the way I do? Right now..."
She finally turned now to look at the T.V., which had the title of the song - Distance- at the bottom corner of the screen. He heard her mumble a soft "Fuck off Christina, I don't need this shit right now..."
Christina didn't listen.
"I wish weee would just give up. 'Cause the best paart is falling. Call it aaanything but looove..."
At this point Jason Mraz joined in, and Itachi directed his steady stare to the screen as well, trying to pay close attention to the lyrics. He didn't like the vibe he was getting from her. Drama bomb, indeed.
"And I'll maaaake suuuure, to keeep myyy distaaance. Saaay 'I love yoouu' when you're not list'nin. Hooooow loooong, can we keep this up, up, uuu-uuup?"
Tayuya sighed, and buried her face into her knees. And it was at this point that Itachi finished his food and gently set the cup down, though making sure that it would make the slightest bit of noise to attract her attention.
It worked. Her head snapped up in his direction, and her eyes went wide at his presence. Her mouth dropped open, and he quickly held a finger to his lips and nodded toward Hidan. She followed the gesture and her lips fell closed. She turned back to him, blushing furiously and looking as if she were so ashamed of herself that she might burst into tears.
Of course, compassion and empathy flooded him at her pitiful expression, and he held up a finger again and rose to silently take his dishes to the kitchen and deposit them in the sink. From there he ghosted out, and motioned for her to follow him as he began heading back down the hall.
She did not follow immediatly, apprehension and vauge panic sweeping across her features when he stopped to consider her. And so he made the motion again. This time she finally slipped off the couch and tip-toe'd around the coffee table.
.
"I'm sorry.." She said after the man had shut his bedroom door and before he could even seat himself on the bed next to her. He moved to do this, adjusting himself once again to sit indian-style.
"For what?"
She just gave him a look. And he smiled and let out a small laugh, waving it away. "I'm not here to chastize you. You seem troubled, and as you may know, I'm very good at helping people organize their thoughts." Though he was very bothered by this new development. Damn, he'd finally managed to get the Doctor and his roommate together, and now this wild card comes into the picture. Couldn't he ever catch a break?
"I'm taking it you were stretching the truth when you told me after we'd first met that you don't think of Hidan in a romantic sense?"
"No!" She defended quickly, "I'm not a fucking liar. I really didn't, then."
"But you do now?"
She remained silent, picking at a loose string on her shirt.
"There's no need to be so reserved. God knows I have no right to judge. I am a 'shrink,' as Hidan would say. I only want to help."
She scoffed. "Don't bring that fucking idiot into this."
This of course confused Itachi, which prompted him to ask; "You mean Hidan?"
"No, of course not, dipshit. I mean God. I hear enough of that fucking crap from your roomie. I thought you were smarter than that, to believe in a fucking fairy-tale."
"Religion is not a fairy tale." He corrected her. "It's a matter of faith and belief, as you stated. And I assure you that I'm not particularly religious, I just suffered a slip of the toungue. 'God' has worked his way into everyday sayings. The expression 'Oh my God', for instance, to state one's disbelief or frustration."
"Okay, okay, my bad. Don't get all fucking teacher on me." She said, rolling her eyes. "I don't really feel like 'talking' though. I'm not a 'talker'. I'm a brooder."
"Ah, my brother is a brooder. I have experience with that as well, so let me inform you, it's not healthy to bottle up your emotions. Not implying that you should just be an emotional wreck, just that when given the oppurtunity to vent rationally and logically, you should accept it." He said, raising a brow to imply that he was, of course, refferring to the current situation.
Though, he was apprehensive about it as well. He'd been in this situation hundreds of times before, teenage girls and even the occasional boy coming to him because they were so intensley troubled over unwanted affection for another human. They would talk it out, and on most cases came to a decision of their own just through speaking their thoughts out loud. Itachi didn't mind, of course. But this situation was different. These were not random strangers, nor innocent teenagers that knew nothing of the unfairness of life.
This was a twenty-two year old woman that, from what he'd gathered thus far, had suffered a very traumatic relationship and been sent to a psyche ward after she'd finally escaped from it. Punished for escaping a situation that may very well have brought about her end by receiving judgment from third parties and receiving a permanent stamp that could not be erased on her legal records that prevented her from continueing on with a normal life.
As he'd stated before, woman, to him, were an entirely different species. But this particular girl was a mirrored, gender-swapped image of his best friend. The fact that she wasn't a slave to her emotions gave him hope that perhaps he would actually be able to think rationally and not damage her mental state any further.
"Tch. Just what I'd expect from a shrink." She huffed, mimicing that noise Hidan always made, and thusly only concreting the fact that she needed some sort of guidance. "You all think that sitting down and talking shit out will change everything. It doesn't, though. Talking doesn't help. It's just fucking talking. It's not fucking different than daydreaming or fantasizing. The only thing that helps is getting up and fucking doing something about it."
"That's very true, Tayuya." He said quietly. Plenty of unwilling clients of his had stated something similar to this. "But talking helps organize your thoughts so that you can make an informed decision, instead of an impulsive guess. Think of it as if writing down a list of pro's and-"
"Look." She interrupted, holding up her hand and looking at him wearily. "I appreciate the fucking gesture. You're a super-good guy and all. But I really... just don't want to talk about it. I should have just left earlier, but I don't know if I have enough fucking money to pay for all the bus-rides it's going to take to get me back home. I kind of wanted to ask Hida for a little extra cash, but I felt bitchy doing that... He already pays me for his lessons anyway, and I know he's got even more fucking dept than me..."
"Hn. You're so similar to him. It still throws me despite telling myself this every five minutes. He doesn't like to ask for help either."
She scowled. "I don't fucking need help! I just need cash."
"It's the same thing."
"No it's not! It's... it's totally different. I don't need anyone's help..."
"I find it contradictive that you think that, seeing as you had to get a ride from a girl you rather dislike just to make it down here, and you requested to stay here for the night, and now you fear you might be stranded in an unfamiliar town as you try to make your way home."
"Shut the hell up, you don't know me."
"You're right. I don't. But I'm trying."
She only responded to this with a suspicious glare. He took a mental step back. Okay, she's very similar to Hidan, but she is not exactly like him. Which meant he likely wouldn't get anywhere with his usual methods of logically pointing out all the faults in her way of thinking. He brefly considered just giving up, seeing as he really didn't want to get into all that much either. But of course there was his damn curiosity. And even more important that that, she was likley going to stay here for tonight, and for Hidan's sake he didn't really want to let her wander back out into that room while he lay there sleeping peacefully.
He didn't really see her going so far as to molest the man or something in his sleep, but being so similar to Hidan, and seeing that she had already fallen asleep agasint him, he didn't want the albino to wake up into an awkward situation and over-react. As he knew without even a hint of a doupt that she would over-react right back. And anything could occur after that was most likley something he really did not want to deal with, as the thought of Hidan almost dying was still fresh on his mind despite the fact that really, he hadn't been all that close to death, thanks to Dr. Hoku.
So he tried a different approach. "Tayuya.." He said softly. "I know that you've only recently returned to Hidan's life. I haven't been part of it for all that long either. I can see that you care greatly for him, just as I do. That makes you and I very much alike as well. In those regards, I'm asking you to help me help you, not because I'm a therapist, but because of our mutal friendship to that man out there."
She still didn't speak, but it as least seemed as if she was finally considering the option. He pressed on. "You obviously mean a great deal to him too. Or he would not tolerate your presence in his life as well as he does. He doesn't have very many people he allows himself to care for, but you are one of them. And because of that I don't want this speedbump to end up robbing him of your friendship."
"Yeah well, that's probably what's going to happen..." She finally said, deflating right there on the spot. She finally looked up to him, tears in her eyes. "Because I'm not going to fucking do this to myself again. I can't handle it. You know, I've always stood by the belief that the majority of the people labeled as 'crazy' aren't really crazy. People just don't fucking like their opinions and actions, so they slap these labels on them to comfort themselves, meanwhile making people like me and Hidan think that we're somehow fucked up just so they don't have to deal with us."
She paused to sniff, attempting to control herself despite a single tear, stained with her heavy eye-liner that had miraculously stayed in place all through the party, last night, and the whole of today. "Maybe I really am psycho. I don't fucking know. But I can't handle this kind of emotional shit. Honestly, I didn't plan on this shit happening, even though I should have fucking caught on the second you asked me to come down, and I got so fucking excited that I'd get to see him again that I couldn't even think straight. It sucks, you know? I pretty much convinced myself that my heart was so fucking broken that it could never function again. And I would have been just fine living the rest of my life without ever feeling this way ever again. Especially for a fucking guy. It's just... way too much trouble."
"I can understand that..." Itachi said honestly.
"Good, so you can understand why I can't fucking stand it when people start going on a bout some stupid fucking man in the sky that supposedly supposed to love everyone unconditionally, but is actually just a big fucking dick that enjoys fucking torturing people that don't deserve it and rewarding all the people that should get treated like shit.
"I got fucking married when I was sixteen. I ran away from home to be with this fucking deadbeat guy because I was so fucking sure he was 'the one'. And it was good for awhile. And then everything fucking changed all the sudden even though it wasn't fucking sudden at all. And somehow in there I ended up hating him so much that I literally wished he would just die every single fucking second of the day. And I went to the goddamn therapy and I took the goddamn pills but it didn't solve the problem because the fucking problem wasn't me, it was him. But still I did what everyone told me and I kept trying to make it work, and in the end I fucking snapped. I don't even remember what happened, all I know is one minute he's calling me a stupid bitch, accusing me of doing something he had absolutly no reason to think I did. And he hit me that one last time, and then suddenly I'm in the back of a cop car, bawling like a pathetic little bitch and thinking to myself; My fucking life is over and I didn't even get to live it."
Itachi listened silently, pushing his own opinons back. Every story has two sides, as goes the saying. But he couldn't help but be enraged by her story, however generic and common it was in America these days.
Everyone has their own tale, their own experiences. And despite knowing this, we as humans continue to cast judgements on people based only on how they act at the present moment. The woman was certianly a vulgar, rude, tempramental person on first appearances. But she had a very good reason for it, as far as he was concerned. He, too, could act just like her, and anyone who ventured deep enough into his past would likley not blame him. However he'd chosen a different path that lead him to a different place. It really was all about perception.
"I was a good goddamned person. I had lots of friends. I made good grades in school before I dropped out to be with that prick. I had good parents. They won't speak to me now. I followed my heart, or at least that's what I fucking thought I was doing. And this is what happened. What the fucking hell did I do to deserve that? I mean, I'm not some sort of sel-pitiful little bitch, but come the fuck on! What the goddamn hell would possess me to give up everything I fucking had for some guy that may very fucking well have been the devil incarnate? I hate Hidan's belief in that fucker. Rationalize it any fucking way you want, maybe I'm jealous of his fucking faith, of the piece of mind he gets from it, of his fucking dedication. I don't fucking know. All I know is someone out there in the universe connected a fucking wire wrong in my head and I ended up destroying everything."
She was actually crying now, though the tears were the only indication. Her voice did not waver and she did not sob, and except for her sniffling, there was no other reactions. "I don't really even like girls like that... 'Tachi..." She said, using Hidan's nickname for him. "I just... I can't do it on my own. I can't get a job, and I can't get a place to live if I can't get a job. I lived with him for four fucking years, he took care of all the financial shit. I wasn't allowed to do anything, I didn't even get to have friends. That's why I play so many goddamned instruments, that's why I'm such a sucker for meaningful music. That's all I had to do. And it sucks that he's kind of the reason I'm so good at the only fucking thing that I'm good at. But I never learned how to do anything else. So once they finally released me from that place and the divorce had been all taken care of and that bastard didn't leave me fucking anything, I didn't know what to do. And I told myself I'd never fucking depend on a man like that again. That I'd get my shit together, that that was the last time I'd ever go to one of those places. But it's just not that easy... So I moved in with a chick. She turned out to be gay, she wanted more from me than just friendship, and I figured well, why the fucking hell not? I mean she was kind enough to let me live with her and feed me and give me a place to sleep when I literally didn't have anything, not even a good personality, to offer her. I... I don't feel anything for her. I don't even like girls like that..." She repeated, sniffing deeply, then looking up again to meet Itachi's eyes.
"But I like Hidan. You can be crazy with him. He doesn't care who you are, or what you talk about. Even if you're mean to him he's still your friend, I mean shit, he fell for the fucking king of all assholes. Doctor Satan, he used to call him. And that's the fucking thing. I'm not gonna do that shit to him, I'm not gonna even let him think about having to make some sort of choice..." She stopped, chewing in her lips while her eyes flicked to various locations on the wall in front of her as she though, one hand absently fiddling with one of her many ear piercings.
"You know. He was laying there on that table, all fucking vulnerable and shit. And it wasn't quite then that I realized I like him as more than just a friend. But I did realize that 'this is fucking scarey', and I didn't know how I could continue living my life if I had to witness someone like him die. He's just a person, you know, in the grand scheme of things. And when you really get down to it, he's probably not nearly as special as he feels to me. The universe won't take notice of him, most of the world won't either. But people like me would... People like his fucking boss. That was when I realized I liked him. I went to take a nap, and when I woke up that old bastard was standing over him, looking at him in that kind of indescribable way. And he reached out and touched his face. And suddenly it clicked in my head, you know. They were pointed to each other... And so as I made this fucking realization that I wanted to be more than friends, I also had to make the simultaneous fucking realization that; he is not now, and never will be, mine. I would never want to do that to him, and I'm not going to."
She took a deep breath, and let it out with a whoosh, tipping her head back and looking to the ceiling while she wrung her hands together in her lap. After a few moments of silence, Itachi started trying to think of something to say. But at the same moment she started again, much softer now.
"But I'm not gonna do that to myself either. That's the kicker. I'm done suffering for the sake of anyone else, I paid my fucking dues... So, What you said earlier, about organizing your thoughts? I don't need to do that. I've already made an 'informed decision'. The only problem is getting myself to do it... Like I said, I should have just left earlier. The longer I stay here, the harder it is."
Itachi listened for a few more heartbeats, just in case she wasn't finished. When it became apparent that she was done, he took a very deep, slow breath, the thought flipping through his mind at how incredibley astounded he was at all her deep and intricate thoughts. She was very good at pretending to be a thoughtless, impulsive person, when in secret she held a sort of wisdom that he found incredibley interesting.
Damn, though. This was why he hadn't wanted to delve into this matter. Normally, giving his opinion on anything like this was easy. Being a therapist really wasn't all that hard of a job, you pretty much just sit in a chair, point out observations, and repeat things that the clients had already said back to them. Sometimes it made all the difference in the world just to hear the situation from someone else's mouth.
But this case was different. He was physically and emotionally invested in this situation. Tayuya was not warring within herself about what to do. She knew what she was going to do, what she felt she had to do. He was not happy with this decision, mainly for the fact that he surmised that the woman was likley going to cut all contact with Hidan, and probably not give any reason as to why. But he knew why, and he was Hidan's best friend, and if she did this then he was going to have to sit and watch the aftermath of her actions, and clean up the mess.
However, hearing her side of the story, knowing why she'd come to the conclusion she did... He couldn't seem to come up with any sort of middle ground. It was either; leave, rip the bandaid off quickly, leave a catastrophe in her wake, and then let time heal the wound it left- This option undeniabley was the most clean, and though it would likley cause some sort of heartache, at least there were no strings left uncut, it would be a clean wound.
- The other option being to stay and torture herself until some event brought her feelings out into the open, which would undouptedly happen eventually, also cause a catastrophe, but leave it lingering there and turning Hidan into the one who had to make the decision. To put the pain and blame and pressure onto him, forcing him into a position that would result in him being 'the bad guy' no matter which direction he turned.
Either way, someone was going to get hurt. Pain demands to be felt*; He quoted to himself. He was very sad because of this conclusion for his own devices too. She was actually a very bright and thoughtful person, and intuitive, just as he'd expected of her earlier. He would have been very happy to continue this spontaneous new friendship with her, but of course the fickle lady called Life had brought about this thought far too late. Ironic, really, considering that just a little while ago he'd been wondering why he didn't have more friends.
Well, this was why. All the people worth being friends with were far too intelligent for their own good, in most cases.
"It's these kinds of situations that fucking make or break a person..." She suddenly continued, breaking him from his tormented musings. "And it sucks that I let myself walk right into another one. But I didn't escape the last one not having learned anything, it broke the shit out of me, but you know, it also made me stronger, not trying to fucking quote that stupid saying or anything. But I don't mind being the heartless bitch. I thought it would be hard, but after it happened, I found out it really isn't all that bad. I'd rather him hate me for not careing than hate me for careing too much, if that makes sense..."
"I don't think Hidan is capable of true hatred..." Itachi finally said quietly. He could provide at least that little bit of consolement, as he honestly had no idea what to say to the entire rest of her speech.
"Yeah, I'm pretty much fucking counting on that..."
He tried to give her a reassuring smile, despite feeling like he needed reassurement too. The following week was likley not going to be a fun one, but he had to respect her resolve on the matter.
She sniffed again and wiped her eyes. "This is why I hate fucking talking. Damn. I hate being a girl, ya know? Like we don't put up with enough bullshit. Fucking periods and childbirth and drama. Then we have to go embarrass ourselves by crying all the damn time."
"On the contrary. It takes far more strength to let it out than to hold it all in." He said casually, ignoring the cryptic mentions of childbirth. Surely she wasn't speak out of experience or anything... He stood then and moved to his desk to pluck a pack of tissues from one of his drawers and extend it to her. "Thank you for opening up. I admire that in a person, truely."
She scoffed and rolled her eyes, but took the pack and ripped it open, blowing her nose rather loudly. "So, yeah. I think I should leave now..."
"You're absoloutly positive you don't want to tell him goodbye, at the very least?"
"No. He'd want me to explain. And then we'd just fight. He's going to be mad at me either way, but I don't wanna be around to hear the things he says. I know it's kind of bitchy, but that's the whole fucking point."
"Very well. But here are my requirements." He said, smirking when she looked up at him with an 'Oh great...' expression. "You're going to accept my gift of money to assure that you make it home safely. And I know this is not your feild, as you and Hidan, again, are so similar, but I require a hug."
She snorted, smiling despite it, and pushed herself from the bed to give him the aforementioned hug. Us girls gotta stick together... He thought, frantically resisting the laughter this almost made him burst into. "You're a very good friend and a very good person, Tayuya. Damn everyone elses opinion."
"Hah. Yeah, I guess. You are too. Sucks, I always wanted a gay friend like you. Hidan doesn't really count, it's hard to remember he's not totally fucking straight sometimes."
"I'm going to ignore the offense in that statement."
"Good. Take care of the idiot, as if I even have to tell you to. And have that sexy man of yours keep working with him on that guitar. He's gonna be a fucking rockstar one of these days."
"And I'm sure he'll remember you as the one who started it all."
They broke from each other, and Tayuya sniffed heavily one more time before moving to the door. The soft sounds of the television crept into the room, and she let out a soft laugh at the song playing.
"Another turning point, a fork stuck in the rooad. Time grabs you by the wrist, directs you where tooo make the best of this test and don't ask whyy-yy. It's nota question, but a lesson learned in time. It's something unpredictable but in the end it's right. I hope you had the time of your life.*"
She and Itachi exchanged amused glances for a second. "Fucking MTV. I'm starting to understand why Hidan thinks everyone is reading his mind..."
"Strange coincidence, isn't it?" He replied, following her as she started down the hall, pulling out his wallet and extracting a 50 dollar bill. It seemed even the hands of fate was wishing her a farewell. It made his heart sink further, but he forced himself to ignore it.
"So take the photographs and still-frames in your mind, hang it on a shelf in good health and good time. Tattoos and memories and deee-ead skin on trial. For what it's worth, it was wooo-ooorth all the while! It's something unpredictable, but in the end is right. I hope you had the tiiiiime of your liiiife."
She stopped behind the couch, Hidan was miraculously still asleep, not having moved in the slightest from his previous position. After a blushing glance at Itachi she quickly leaned over and pecked him on the forehead.
He smiled at her despite the slight panic that shot through them both when Hidan groaned and swatted at the empty air around his head. He didn't wake up though, and Itachi silently handed her the money, to which she stared at hesitantly for awhile before he raised his eyebrows at her in a vaugley threateneing way. She made a face, but took it. Nodded to him, wrung her hands for a few moments, and then whirled around.
"It's something unpredictable, but in the end it's right. I hope you had the tiii-iime of your life."
With one last glance back at the two roommates, and a heavy sigh followed by a swear, she closed the door. Itachi pushed back the sad feeling of loss as he stared at the hunk of wood. Then he turned to look at Hidan, chest growing suffocatingly tight.
Damn. Just when things were starting to go in a favorable direction.
He didn't know what to do with himself now. And he dreaded the moment Hidan woke up and realized that she was gone. He dreaded even moreso the explanation he was going to have to give to Hidan after the woman wouldn't answer his calls or texts or web-chat invites. He didn't know what the bloody hell he was going to say. He desperatley did not want to lie to Hidan, honestly he didn't think he had the stomache for that. Perhaps Tayuya was strong enough to withstand his fury, but Itachi was made of lesser things.
He had told her Hidan was not capable of hatred. And he didn't think that the albino would turn too heavily against him when this discovery was made, but if he did, if the unthinkable happened and Hidan really could hate, if he really did choose to hate Itachi... He didn't think he could handle it. It was just as he told Kisame, he could not stand having another person walk out on him because of his own careless mistakes. Yes, Tayuya had just left, but he didn't have any sort of part in that, except for giving her money. But really, what was he supposed to do? Tie her up and force her to stay?
He bit his lip. No, he could not, and would not, lie. He would do Tayuya's explaining for her, and fight her fight for her. It wasn't that he felt as if he owed her anything, it was strictly for Hidan's, and his own, sake. But still the sense of loss hummed within him. He was sad, very sad. But Hidan would be worse, and Tayuya... Well, he imagined her crying those strong, silent tears as she walked down the sidewalk toward the bus-stop.
"It's something unpredictable, but in the end is right. I hope you had the tiiii-iiime of your liiife."
-o-
A/N-
Short chapter. But that's okay, seeing as so many other's have been long as fuck, and this one was kind of emotionally exhausting for me personally.
Oh God. I have to admit I'm a little bit scared to read the reviews for this one. But please leave them anyway. :) You know I love them
And thus ends to tale of Tayuya. Let me say right off the bat I didn't do this because of the controversy about her. I'm not going to lie and say I had this planned from the beginning, but the idea of her leaving literally just kind of popped into my head a few nights ago when I was trying to go to sleep. I assure you that I'm not a sell-out. :P
It's because this is the kind of shit that happens in real life. Shit that isn't fair and doesn't make sense and doesn't offer happy endings. Stories left untold, all that kind of stuff. It seriously hurt me to cut her out of the story, I actually really loved her in this fic. But at the same time I think (or hope) I did a pretty damn good send-off, so I'm happy with that.
You guys forgot I was trying to still stick to realism huh? I know, I kinda ventured there for a little bit. And will probably continue to.
But anyway, that's that.
So again, review. As always, forgive typos and errors, and also don't forget that I less-than-three all of you. :3
See you next chapterrr.
Pain demands to be felt*- A quote from the book 'An Imperial Affliction'.
The song at the end is Green Day's 'Time of your life.'