FOLLOW YOUR ARROW
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"What the hell is this?" Hidan said in a rather subdued way, which apparently shocked the elder man who had slapped the paper down on his desk in front of him, as he raised a brow in question.
"Your bill." He said, in that deep gravelly voice of his.
The pigmentless eyes stared at him for a moment, then looked down to the document, then back up to his boss. "Are you serious?"
"I told you you would be receiving a bill, did I not?"
"Well, yeah, but I thought you were fucking with me."
"When have I ever made any sort of joke about money?"
Hidan allowed himself a small smile, which seemed to once again make the old man suspicious. He reached out to scoop up the paper, studied it for a minute, and sighed. "I don't have to pay this all at once do I? Cause that's kind of bullshit. Did you give me a fucking CAT scan and a goddamn transplant or what?"
He was trying very hard to act his normal self, and he knew he was failing, and he knew Kakuzu was noticing. He appreciated it and hated it at the same time. He really didn't want to have to explain to anyone, he just wanted to be left alone.
"No, I saved you time by automatically deducting one hundred dollars from your earnings each week. Which, in case your math is as terrible as your attitude today, makes four hundred a month. You'll have it paid off by October. You're welcome."
"Tch, fuck off old man. My attitude is fucking fine." But Thanks...
"I beg to differ."
"Don't be all bitchy cause I'm not jumping your bones. I don't fucking feel good, is all." As soon as he'd said that little white lie he immediatly wished he hadn't. Kakuzu of course started questioning him about not feeling well, asking him about his liver, if he still had nausea or any pain, light-headedness, random aches and pains. Hidan did his begrudging best to answer each and every question without getting annoyed and snapping at the older man. Really, it was fucking nice that the old bastard cared about him, and he felt bad for getting irritated like he was, but damn it all, he just wanted to fucking sulk in peace!
This morning had been blessedly quiet, Itachi had come out as usual at 3 a.m. to make sure he was already awake, which he had been, as he hadn't gone back to sleep after waking up to an empty couch last night. The sound of ceramic dishes hitting the stainless steel of the sink had roused him very slowly from his sleep. It hadn't really completley woken him up, just brought his senses back to focus on reality. And he'd almost dozed back off, until the couch shifted as a weight was lifted off of it, and he'd peeked his eyes open just in time to see Tayuya and Itachi disappearing down the hall, at which point he had stood up, stretched, popped his neck in that violent jerking motion that always made his roommate cringe, and followed after them.
And of course, heard their entire conversation while listening outside the door.
Son of a dirty goddamned bitch. He repeated in his head, over and over again, not letting any other thought present itself so that he wouldn't have the chance to lose control of himself and be thrust into an inconsolable rage.
You couldn't fucking let me have this huh? No, oh no, Hidan is already so fucking lucky, he can't have more than one good friend. The other thoughts came anyway as he walked in a dazed sort of way back out to the livingroom, plopped on the couch and assumed the same position he'd been in when he woke up.
Well this is what you get anyway, you screwup. You knew everything was going too well. Why don't you ever listen? Shut up brain, just shut up. This one really wasn't his fault. There's nothing he could have done to prevent it, and even if he had saw some catastrophe coming, how the hell was he supposed to stop it?
The one person who understands what it's like to be irrepairabley broken... Stop feeling sorry for yourself you idiot. Of course this would happen. Don't be stupid.
But I am stupid. Yeah. You kind of are. Stupid oblivious Hidan. See what I mean? You can't do anything right.
Shut up brain!
He didn't want to be mad at her. He heard her story, the explanation, all of it was logical, he could understand. But that didn't stop it from pissing him off. And of course it only pissed him off even more that it made him so goddamned furious. His emotions were so damn tangled about this situation, trying to force himself to get it, to stay calm, to be a rational fucking adult for once in his life instead of freaking out and jumping into some psychotic fit. And then there were the natural emotions, hurt, betrayal, everything all mixing together into one giant pulsating ball of raw frustration.
This wasn't fair, none of it. Most of all the guilt. Why did he do this to himself? This is why he didn't like being sober, he remembered. This damned brain of his. At least when he was high or drunk he could blame his erratic, illogical emotions on something. But right now, what was he supposed to do? Itachi would tell him they're lies, "They're lies, Hidan, don't believe them." But how is he supposed to not believe them? They don't feel like lies, how can his own head lie to him?
This is your fault, this is unquestionabley and undeniabley your fault despite the fact that there is no way on any plane of reality that that makes sense. God, what a chore, mental disabilities were...
The thing that bugged him the most, as he pretended to be asleep and Tayuya planted a kiss on his forehead, as his brows furrowed in the unrestrained anger and he somehow managed to cover the action with some sort of sleepy wave of his hand... The part that bothered him most was that she didn't think he could handle the truth. That she could go tell Itachi, Yeah, everyone can go talk to fucking Itachi, but no one ever had the goddamned balls to just fucking walk up to him and say 'I have a fucking problem here, so here's what's going to happen.'
It was insulting, especially from her of all people. It was so easy, wasn't it? To slap the 'crazy' label on other people, to tell yourself 'they can't handle this because they're broken'. People think they're being some sort of fucking hero, They're doing the right thing, lyeing to you to make you feel better. At least when he lied he admitted it was for petty, selfish reasons. No Hidan, I don't like you, even though I actually am in love with you. I'm going to leave and never talk to you again with no fucking explanation because I don't want to hurt you. WHAT THE HELL IS THAT!?
It hurt. It hurt a fucking lot, even more than Tayuya leaving. Whatever, he was bummed about that, but honestly, he got it. He didn't want any fucking drama with that situation either. He'd noticed she'd been acting wierd, but he'd never thought in a million fucking years it was because she liked him. Here we go again, oblivious fucking Hidan. Immature fucking Hidan. It would have been okay, if she didn't have to sneak around like a conniving fucking bitch, if she had just told him 'I like you, but I don't want to, so I'm leaving.' He would have been okay with that, honestly. Would have still been upset, but at least not insulted.
No one took him seriously, did they? He really was just a fucking stupid kid in an adults body. Just someone to take care of, someone whose words and actions were waved away with a smile and a laugh because he was just some retarded fucking guy with a mental handicap and he just didn't know any better. He could probably piss and shit right there in his own pants and everyone would just look at him like 'Oh the poor thing...' and go back about their business...
"Well, don't be an idiot. Speak up if you start feeling any worse. Has that Uchiha made you return to your prescriptions?" Kakuzu said as the albino man returned to reality.
He blinked up at him, not bothering to try to hide the fact that he hadn't really been listening to his boss, if he'd even been saying anything. Sometimes he just liked to hover like a fucking creep. "Uh.. My meds? Yeah, he's going to get my fucking shrink of the phone and talk it over and I guess he's going to try cutting them all in half and then gradually work me off of them so I don't have some reaction to quitting cold turkey. But they're working on getting me off of them... " And they're going to 'keep a close eye on me', because I'm a goddamned man-child that can't take care of myself. He knew this, he would admit it. He didn't trust himself either, but how was he supposed to with everyone reinforcing it? How was he supposed to learn if no one gave him the chance? Even though they had been. It was no one's fault, he told himself. Not his, not Itachi's, not Tayuya's, they're all just trying to do what they think is right.
He pushed the thought away. Whatever, it didn't matter anyway. No reason to overthink it, it would just make everything worse. Play the cards you were dealt, Hidan. Hope you find a couple aces.
"Good. Just don't start throwing more of your fits. I won't tolerate them."
"Yeah... Okay..." He said, folding up the paper and shoving it into his pocket. Well good, at least somone treats me like an actual fucking person. "The seven o'clock didn't show. Fucking bitch. I don't get why people can sit there and agree to have their shit scheduled at certian times and then purposely not show up. Like if it's that big of a deal just fucking call and change it." He mumbled on, trying to distract the man from his uncharacteristic mood. He didn't want to talk about it, he just really, really didn't want to talk about it. He didn't want Kakuzu to change and suddenly start trying to pull that 'I suddenly care about you again' crap. He couldn't handle it if Dr. Satan started trying to be nice to him just because of this stupid fucking brain too. He just wanted things to be normal, if people would just act normal then he could act normal and everything could just be fine and fucking normal.
Just this once, God, make my friends fuck off.
"People are forgetful. It happens often."
"Well. Pisses me off. Fucking wastes time. If I knew they were going to not fucking be here I could have put someone who'd actually show in their place."
"Since when you you care about wasting time?"
"I don't. It's just fucking annoying. People piss me off."
"Well. Please keep whatever odd mood you're in concealed from the clients. I don't have the energy to deal with complaints today."
He just grunted in response, Kakuzu disappeared through the examination room, and then the phone rang. It was the seven o'clock, saying they were running late. No shit you're late, it's almost fucking eight. He informed them of Kakuzu's obligatory 15 minute rule, and worked them into another slot for next week.
He pushed the phone down, and twisted to look at the door that his employer had left through, glaring. Well he didn't try very fucking hard, did he? Goddammit, this was rediculous, now he was mad for Kakuzu not pressuring him to talk even though that was what he wanted?
God, fuck you brain. Seriously. Just get the fuck out.
.
"Linkin Park?"
"Never heard of it."
"You've never heard Linkin Park? You're lying. You just don't know who they are. Lem'me play a song for you."
"I'd rather you didn't, I'm trying to work."
"It's just background music. You can't listen to music and work at the same time?" Hidan pressed on, flicking his fingers across the laptop keys. He'd brought it to work with him today for a variety of reasons. The first being, yesterday was a very long and sucky day. Time had a way of dragging on and on and on when your mental state is on the fritz. It was almost like mythological people like father time and mother nature suddenly came into existance just for the mere purpose of making you feel as absoloutly low as possible. So narssisistic, depression could make a person. He needed some form of distraction, and since he seemed to be keeping up with his boss, who suddenly wasn't giving him random task after unneccessary random task, he promised himself he'd have to find some sort of means of distraction.
The second being when he went for a fifteen minute break, which he hadn't done since his very first day on the job and Itachi had stopped by. He'd sat at the little round table in the back, rapping his fingertips in succession across the table while sipping on the styrofoam cup of cheap coffee, looking around at the room, listening to the clock tick on the wall, the sound of Kakuzu shuffling papers at his desk, and decided that this was complete and utter bullshit. It was a wonder that old man could get any sort of work done around here with all this annoying silence!
The third reason he came up with over the lunch hour yesterday, which he actually decided to use the whole hour as a break, seeing as he could actually stand to be around Kakuzu comfortabley without acting like a pathetic horomone-ridden teenage girl about to cream her panties every time he was near him. Dear God he was glad that was over, why the hell do chicks do that annoying shit all the time, seriously?
Unsurprisingly, Kakuzu brought his own lunch from home, some sort of salad or something which the albino was surprised to learn was actually pretty damn good (Because he'd stolen a bite when his boss went to refill his little styrofoam cup.) He'd wanted to ask if the old bastard had made that himself, but fortunatley his brain was being moderatley rational today, and he realized that if he did such a thing it would give away that he'd just stolen a bite of the man's food. Despite whatever wierd, undefined relationship they had at the moment, Kakuzu most likley wouldn't appreciate that...
"So..." He said, after taking a large bite out of his hastily made and kind of dry ham and cheese sandwich.
Kakuzu scowled at him. "For God's sake, don't talk with your mouth full, bloody toddler."
Hidan rolled his eyes, and quickly finished chewing his mouthful and swallowed it. "So..." He said again, brows raising in expectation. The doctor looked up at him in question, not saying anything. He continued staring blankly. "Are we just gonna let this giant white elephant chill here with us for the rest of our lives... or what?"
Again the doctor cocked a brow.
Again Hidan rolled his eyes. "Are you serious? Okay, Come on. I'm not going to play your old man games. What's the fucking situation?"
Kakuzu calmly took a bite of his salad, chewed thoughtfully, then sighed. "I don't know." Hidan let out an internal sigh of relief at this. Thank God he wasn't going to dodge the fucking question and treat him like a fucking idiot. And if Kakuzu wasn't going to bullshit around, neither was he. They were fucking men, for Fuck's sake, time to start acting like it.
"Okay, well, I guess I'll lay out the situation. I like you, you like me, but it's a secret. Pretty simple hm?"
Kakuzu grunted, not meeting his eyes. Hidan grimaced. "So, when we're in private, like now, we don't have to act like casual co-workers, right?"
Kakuzu looked up at him, apprehensive amusement on his features. Hidan was pleased that he wasn't being all emotionless as usual. "If you're asking me to make out with you, the answer is no."
The secretary laughed despite himself, and took another bite of his sandwich, talking with his mouth full just to tease him. "'Make out' sounds wierd coming from you. But no, I mean we can hang out and maybe actually learn shit about each other?"
"What makes you think I have any interest in getting to know you any further?"
"Aaahh, I see, you pervy old man. You're just after the goods."
"Don't be an idiot."
Hidan shrugged, setting his food down, he'd eaten half of it, that's better than nothing. So Dr. Satan couldn't say anything. "You don't have to be scared." He said, suddenly serious. His face fell stern to emphasize this, and he locked eyes with his employer. "I'm not insane. I'll admit I'm kind of wierd, but everyone's wierd these days... Kakuzu..." He trailed off, unsure really of what he wanted to say or what point he was trying to make here, but he liked the old man. It was plain and simple, and there was no reason to try and insist that he understand the inner workings of his mind. He didn't care so much about Kakuzu's interest in him, but he wanted to know more about the stoic old miser. What made him tick. But most importantly; no more games.
"What?"
"Just treat me like a person... okay? Don't change."
The elder man stared at him quizzically.
"I mean, don't feel like you have to protect me from yourself... or.. whatever. I hate that shit. I'll be straight with you, you be straight with me." No pun intended.
Kakuzu grunted and returned to his focus on eating. "I don't intend to coddle you like everyone else. I came to that conclusion long ago. It does nothing but feed the fire."
"My thoughts exactly." Hidan said, smiling again. Good. Honesty was all he wanted. Even if it was complete shit. He liked the old bastard because he didn't give a fuck, at least that's the only way he could rationalize it. It was something real, and he wanted it to remain that way.
"I should warn you, I've been called annoying."
"I'm well aware." Kakuzu replied without missing a beat. "I've been called an asshole."
"But you are an asshole."
"And you are annoying."
"Good. So that's settled."
"Yes, can I eat in peace now?"
"Nope. I'm annoying, remember?"
So, the decision to know more about Kakuzu had been made. And how better to figure out the mans thought pattern than through music? No amount of spoken words could ever describe anyone better than their taste in music.
So he'd brought his laptop, and once again they were on their lunch break. Kakuzu had apparently skipped eating today in favor of catching up on some sort of problem he was having with what he understood to be insurance fraud. A new patient had come in for a sonogram, given him a fake name and a card she'd apparently stolen from someone else. Obviously the insurance wouldn't pay for a sonogram, because it turned out the card was a man's, so they had suspected something fishy when his boss had tried to get them to cover a sonogram for a young lady who feared she might be pregnant. The real owner of the card had been contacted, but of course refused to pay. So now there was a bill floating around unpaid that needed to be dealt with.
This had the elder man in a terrible mood, but Hidan persisted anyway, assured that distingueishing his taste in music would somehow inexplicabley make the situation better.
"Everybody loves Linkin Park. All their songs are good, haven't found one I don't like."
"Congradulations." Kakuzu grumbled out, his hand supporting his head now as he scanned over the whatever document was before him.
Hidan clicked away on the keys. "It's kind of shitty though because almost all of them are about about shitty situations. But I guess that's what makes them connect so well with people. Negative emotions are always the strongest, seriously. Here, listen to this one, everyone's been at this point once or twice in their life..." He rambled, ignoring Kakuzu's extended sigh of irritation.
With an audible click he started the song.
"It starts wiiiith oooooone-One thing, I don't know why, It doesn't even matter how hard you try. Keep that in mind, I designed this rhyme to explain in due time.- Aaall I knoooow. -Time is a valuable thing, watch it fly by as the pendulum it count down to the end of the day, the clock ticks life away. -It's so unreal.-You didn't look out below. Watch the time fly right out the ' to hold on but I didn't even know, wasted it all just to -Waaatch you gooo."
"No." Kakuzu said suddenly, And Hidan paused it, scowling at him.
"What? It's not even to the best part, are you listening to the words?"
"Do I strike you as the type of person to enjoy rap?"
Hidan snorted. "It's not rap. Just listen. Listen to the words. I thought you'd appreciate this one, it's about wasting time and energy doing shit that it turns out isn't even worth doing. Wanting something so bad that you do anything it takes to make it happen, but it still doesn't happen." He clicked the play button again before his boss could argue.
"I kept everything inside and even though I tried, it all fell apart. What it meant to be will eventually be a memory of a time when... I tried so hard! And Got so Faaar! But in the eeend, it doesn't even maatteerr. I had to faaall, to looose it aaall. And in the eeeend it doesn't even maaaterr~errr."
"It's nothing but whining." Kakuzu said again, and with a dramatic sigh Hidan stopped the song, chewing on his lip to try and think of another. It was progress, at least. And he could admit that song probably related to him more than the old bastard. After all, Kakuzu was successful, his dreams obviously had never fallen flat.
So he didn't like 'whiney' music. Well, Kakuzu was an angry guy. Maybe he liked angry music.
"You ever heard of Trapt?"
"No."
"Of course not. I bet you'd like this song, it's called Headstrong, which is what you are."
"'Headstrong' is a synonym to 'stubborn' and 'arrogant', if you think you're complimenting me-"
"Tch, pleaaase Kakuzu, when would I ever compliment you?" He chuckled, working to find the song and making a satisfied noise when he did. "Shut up and listen."
"Circling your, circling your, circling your head, Contemplating everything you ever said. Now I see the truth, I got'ta doubt.. A different motive in your eyes and now I'm out. See you laaaateeeer. I see your fantasyyyy, you want to make it a reality paved in goooold. See inside, inside of our heads. -yeah- Well now that's oveeerr. I see your motives inside, decisions to hide..."
Hidan played the air drums and began singing along with the chorus, smirking at the older man when he looked up at him expressionlessly.
"Back off, I'll take you ooo-oon! Headstrong, to take on anyo-one. I knooow that you are wro-ong! Headstrong, we're headstro-ong. Back off, I'll take you o-on! Headstrong, to take on anyone. I know that you are wrong and thiiiis iiiis noooot where you belooooooong!"
"Would you shut that infernal noise off!? I'm trying to work."
Hidan clicked his tongue and stopped the music. "It's lunch break, You can set it aside for..." He glanced at the clock. "Half an hour. You're all pissed off anyway, take a breather. The bitch was from out of town, there's no way to track her down. Just admit it dude, you lost the money."
"I will not be bested by a mere child." He growled, scowling down at the paperwork as if the whole thing were it's fault. He scribbled something angrily and picked up the small pile to switch the one on top to the bottom.
"What you need is some music to relax you."
"I don't need any bloody damned music, Hidan. Keep it off."
"Uuuh... Black Eyed Peas? Heard of them? They did 'Where is the love'. Super fucking popular when I was little."
"No."
" You mean 'No, you don't like it' or 'No, you've never heard it'?"
"Both."
"How can you not like a fucking song you've never heard?"
"Because I'm old and wise."
Hidan tried very hard to hold back the snort of laughter that escaped him. Kakuzu looked up from his paperwork with an amused glance for a second before returning to it. That gave him a thought though. He was going about this all wrong. Kakuzu was from a different generation, of course he wasn't going to like Hidan's music, he was going to like his own. Kakuzu was 46, so subtract that from the current year and that made him born around... just before the 70's? Right? So he needed 70's music?
No... wait... he needed to target a younger Kakuzu, but not a baby Kakuzu, as adorabley awkward as thought would be to pursue. He would have been a teen in the 80's. He could listen to some 80's without dying inside.
"Aaahh, Okay. I figured it out. Here, how bout this one?" Again he smacked the enter key louder than neccesary. Survivors 'Eye of the tiger' filtered out from the device on his lap. He crossed his hand and gave the elder man a toothy grin, bobbing his head to the music. Kakuzu only stared at him for an entire minute of the song playing, Hidan kept up his rediculous act of pretending he was enjoying the shit out of the song. Finally it paid off, and the elder man cracked the smallest of smiles before shaking his head softly and returning to the papers.
"At least this is tolerable." He grumbled.
"Ahah! I have my brilliant moments, see? Just takes me a little bit." Said, throwing his hands in the air victoriously. It was kind of a setback, he didn't really get 80's music, it wasn't so easy to tell what the hell they were talking about most of the time. Not that all of today's music did that... but still...
"Okay, here's an exersize for you. What's a song you like that you wish you didn't like?" Perfect, he really did have his brilliant moments. What better way to get to know someone than learning things they didn't want others to know about them? "For example, I've caught myself singing along to Ke$ha's 'Blow' on the radio before, even though she's a dumb bitch."
"I don't like music. Don't you have work to do?"
"Everyone like's music, Kuzu. Don't be a grump. And it's fucking lunchbreak, even if I had something to do I'm not legally bound to do it until exactly 1. p.m." He started typing away on the keys for other popular songs of the 80's as he spoke. After scanning through the entries, chewing on his in thought, he found one he liked and clicked it. He looked up to his boss to make the announcement that he'd found a playlist only to see the man stareing at him in thoughtful surprise. "...What?"
"What did you just call me?"
"What?"
"You just called me 'Kuzu'."
"Oh yeah. I did." He said, returning to look at the screen and scan the list of songs written in the description below the video. "It's called a nickname, old-timer."
"There's nothing wrong with my name. Don't call me that."
"Don't call you what, Kuzu?" He said, meeting his gaze again with a smirk.
"If you say it again I will throttle you."
"Tch, you think it's cute and you know it."
"Cute?"
"Yeah. Kuzu, fuckin' adorable."
"I am neither 'cute' nor 'adorable'. Both are insults. May I remind you that I'm your superior when we're in this building? If you call me anything but 'Sir' or 'Doctor' for the rest of the day I will dock your pay for indecent conduct."
"Tch, I'm already getting my pay docked to pay that bullshit bill for you saving my life, even though I didn't ask you to."
"If you have a death wish I can be of assistance."
"Uh huh, then who's ass would you stare at when I'm filing your patients files for you?" He said nonchalantly, looking back up from the computer screen and giving the man an amused smile when he only received a silent glare. "Aaahh, Kuzu, you do stare at my ass! I was just fucking around with you, but that's good to know. I'm flattered."
"Shut your insolent mouth and get out of my office before I make you stay late scrubbing your blood off the floor."
"Random fact; the sight of blood is deeply arousing for me. And taste, and smell, and feel. Make a note of that for future refer-"
"GET OUT!"
.
"Hey Hida!"
Hidan looked up to the cheery feminine voice calling his name, gritting his teeth as he did so. Ever since his party, random strangers, women especially, have been showing up at the clinic with bullshit excuses to have Dr. Hoku inspect them all for the chance to flirt with the dreamy albino that had serenaded each of them that night. He was getting recognized on the street too, everyone calling him by the nickname -which wasn't even really plausible for the fact that it only shortened his name by one letter- as if they were somehow suddenly best friends. -Then again, sometimes one letter made all the difference. His roommate was the same way, his nickname being a simple 'Tachi instead of Eeeeeeeee'tachi. And just like 'Kuzu', He supposed Hida and 'Tachi were more like pet names than nicknames... Oh dear God... No wonder people always mistook them for a couple...-
He blinked himself from that random train of thought and raised a silver brow, unamused. "Can I help you?"
"I have a three o'clock with Dr. Hoku. You... don't look like you know who I am."
"Mmm Nope. I don't. He'll be up here in just a sec' if you wan'na sit down."
"It's Hiruko*! We danced together at your party... remember? You uh, you said you wanted to... do things to my hair..."
He looked up at her boredly, withholding an irritated sigh in case Kakuzu was being a creeper like he did sometimes so he could catch Hidan doing something that gave him the excuse to yell at him. She did have awesome hair, it was bleached, like, literally. Pure white. You could tell from the skin tone it wasn't natural though, and her eyes were A purple that was obviously fake. They were probably blue with red contacts or something. Fucking poser, who the fuck poses as an albino? Seriously? People have no shame.
Techinically she was a client... so he had to be nice. What a turn of events, just a few months ago he'd been doing all he could to flirt with every woman that came through the door. Now he just wanted them to spontaneously combust. "I don't remember much of anything from that night." Except my boss's toungue down my throat. "I wasn't exactly in control of my actions. I don't even dance, normally." He said honestly, hoping maybe she'd get the hint that he was wasted off his ass and obviously had no intention of returning her unwanted attention while sober enough to still remember his own name.
She didn't.
"Ooh, but you're so good at it! And you have a killer voice! Pompeii is one of my favorite songs. I gave you my number, but I never heard anything from you..."
"Which one? I had like, ten. Wait, were you the one who signed my ass!? That took fucking forever to scrub off." That was a lie, he had found a few numbers- or what he assumed to be numbers, as most of them had smeared and bled away from the sweat and God even knows what else. There hadn't been one on his ass, that was just a form of mind-fuckery. Tricking her into thinking some other girl had gotten to fondle his bare ass and metaphorically claim it by writing her name on it would either make her ragingly jealous, or make her realize that he was just like every other guy who had nothing but sex on his mind. He wasn't, obviously, but she didn't need to know that.
She blinked, mouth dropping open in speechless surprise. He didn't care though, being an asshole worked for Kakuzu, so why wouldn't it work for him? And it wasn't like he was some man-slut, those dumb bitches had been crawling all over him. He hadn't tried all that hard to fight them off, but he was a moderatley average, egotistical guy, andshit, he was drunk to oblivion. Just check his doctor bills.
The sound of a throat clearing sent his attention past Hiruko, who whirled around as well. Both of their eyes focused in on the Doctor himself standing there with his arms crossed. "Hidan, I believe I warned you about being vulgar in front of my clients."
"Uh... Sorry..." He said, making a face that said he wasn't sorry at all. "Hey boss, This is Hiruko." He piped with a big grin, gesturing at her with a broad wave. "She wants to bang me. She's also your three o'clock."
"HIDAN!"
"What!? 'Bang' isn't a bad word!"
Hiruko was standing absoloutly stiff, and the secretary sneered at the back of her head, sensing her mortification. Well bitch, Don't come on so strong if you're embarrassed of it. It was probably unfair for him to attack her like that, but maybe she'd spread the message around town. He was getting tired of his sudden popularity, it was fake anyway. Everyone had avoided him before that stupid party, now for some reason he was the desireable bad-boy with a hard past who was deeper than he seemed just because he could fucking sing worth a shit. Stupid small-town women.
It was unfortunate he couldn't just let it seep out into public that he wasn't exactly into girls, because undoubetly rumors would start spreading about some made-up love affair he was having with Itachi, who was now infamous for his relationship with the Scarred-up black guy who had also been 'no big deal' before that night but was now also undouptedly receiving extra attention as well. Fucking society, people were rediculous.
"I'll deal with you later." Kakuzu growled, ushering the poor, dazed young woman back to the examination room with a death-glare at his employee that remained unbroken until the door shut harder than neccessary behind him.
He buried his face into his hands and sighed. This is a tricky one, big man... What the hell are you thinking?
-o-
WHAT THE HELL AM I THINKING!?
This ordeal was only getting worse and worse, dammit. Why? Why Hidan? He'd known the brat was irritating beyond belief, and Kakuzu had thought that he hadn't been holding back any futher all those months they struggled against this wierd twist of fate. It turns out he was, oh God he was holding back SO much!
At least before he would shut up once in awhile, at least before he still did what the elder man told him to do, at least before he wasn't constantly buzzing around him with that damned smile he always smiled that made it hard to look away.
This was some form of torture, plain and simple. How was he supposed to continue functioning normally when he had to deal with that idiot every five seconds!? What happened to the determined, resolute worker he'd had only the week before? Kakuzu Hoku would give anything to go back to hating the son of a bitch because he was doing a good job. This shit he was dealing with now, it was so much worse, so bloody much worse.
When he had dropped that little moron off at his house, and he'd leaned over and kissed him all the sudden, despite any prying eyes having a perfect view, he'd been shocked, he'd been furious, he'd driven hiself hom ein a rage that the idiot could have the audacity to do that to him right there in front of his friend, even though she hadn't been watching. But it was a diluted sort of anger, and anger that didn't prompt him to do any sort of angry action, and anger that merely made him glare at the clock, and quickly strip off his clothes, shower, and angrily crawl into bed despite the fact that he wasn't really all that tired even though he'd pretty much pulled an all-nighter keeping that idiot alive.
Slowly the anger faded to irritation that changed in it's source. Now he was upset at the fact that he couldn't fall asleep because his chest still was doing that wierd thing where it was tight and kind of buzzing. Like it did sometimes when he'd had too much caffiene and his body was trying to get him to do some sort of rigerous activity to burn it off, except kind of different.
Dammit, he wanted to sleep so it would hurry up and be tomorrow and he could try to get on with his normal life. This weekend had been a bloody tradgedy... and yet... he wasn't able to finally feel his body relax until he replayed one particular scene over and over in his head. And with one final sigh of content the anger had left and he'd fell into unconciuosness.
That was more or less how this entire week had been going. Every day, every goddamed day that pale moron did something that should piss him off to the point where under any other circumstances he would be shouting and breaking things, and yet every time it was calmed and deluded by the fact that he had to occasionally resist laughter or attacking the little idiots face with his own.
He hated having such a childish thought weigh so constantly on his mind, but he couldn't help but think ; This isn't fair.
The first day back on Monday, he'd actually eaten in the break room instead of in his office, he didn't know why, just for the hell of it. Which was a strange enough thing in itself, as Dr. Hoku rarely ever did anything without reason. Hidan had come back there with a sandwich, sat down, and grinned at him. At that point he'd had an apocolyptic sized war in his head as to whether he should remain here or go to the privacy of his office. He'd come to the decision that day that he would stay there for the fact that he'd already sat down and unwrapped his lunch.
Hidan had been acting all somber and melancholy again that morning, the same as he had been on Friday. Today actually was his real birthday, but the doctor had already succumb to his moronic wishes at the party, and refused to do it again. And it seemed that wasn't the problem anyway, as when he sat down at the table in the break area hidan seemed unbothered once again, aside from the strange sort of conversation that had taken place.
"Just treat me like a person... okay? Don't change."
That question had perplexed him in a way that was irritating because it didn't irritate him. He didn't understand what he meant by it for the first ten milliseconds, then in the next ten he rationalized that those two sentences put together in the same context didn't make sense. If by 'Treat me like a person' he meant stop being such an ass, then why was he telling him not to change? Then it occurred to him that perhaps he'd said the sentences backward. He'd meant to say, 'Don't stop being an asshole. Treat me like you would anyone else.' This one seemed to make sense, and for some reason he was extremley pleased. What, specifically, he was pleased about, he didn't know, but he knew he couldn't stop staring at this strange human being in front of him. He managed to make it look like some sort of questioning stare, so as not to be called a 'creeper' again by his employee, or at least he assumed he'd made the stare look such a way because Hidan went on to explain himself in a way that didn't exactly offer much more explanation at all.
"I mean, don't feel like you have to protect me from yourself... or.. whatever. I hate that shit. I'll be straight with you, you be straight with me."
This made him feel as if he'd reached the correct decision in his earlier thoughts, and also made him resist a smile at the irony of the last statement. He didn't understand why he found it funny, because he knew what Hidan meant, and he knew that he probably didn't realize the irony, and had it been anyone else saying something like that, he would not have had even a slight reaction to the humor. But he actually had to fight a chuckle on that one. Yes Hidan, you and I, two men, let's be 'straight' with each other. Idiot.
Instead he ignored the last bit and responded with the goals he had decided upon that very first night he'd had to spend at the man's apartment.
Monday hadn't been all that bad. it had been rather pleasant, actually. Hidan wasn't childish about whatever this was between them, he was casual and calm, not making any sort of awkward actions or requests; hand-holding or sitting directly next to each other or sexual innuendos. It had been nice, had being the key word. Kakuzu was more than happy with that reaction, Hidan really did surprise him at every turn, he'd expected him to be like an annoying little gnat who would try to impress all his own musings and ideals and whatnot onto him. But he hadn't, not on Monday.
Tuesday was a whole different matter.
The little twerp brought his stupid laptop to work. Kakuzu had tried to stay in his office today to eat, but in wandered his secretary, plopping down and making himself comfortable in the chair on the other side of his desk. So he hadn't gotten out his lunch and instead pretended to be very busy solving an infuriating case of insurance fraud that had occured late in the day yesterday. Hidan had not taken the hint. He just sat there and blabbered on and on about music.
Kids these days with their damned music. It was absoloutly rediculous. It's just music! Get over yourselves! It's not your very soul put into the form of intangible sounds. Music was just like this love everyone wanted. It was just an emotion, you can't live off of music of love, you can't pay your bills, you can't get the food you need to survive. They were nothing but rediculous excuses made up by the human mind to try and help give meaning to the meaningless life of the average human being.
He didn't hate music, but he didn't like it. Of course there were songs he found plesant or endearing, but they were few and far between. He was too old for that nonsense anyway. And frankly the way Hidan gushed about it repulsed, angered, and interested him, the last one causing one more repulsion and anger. Because it was rediculous that something he didn't care for somehow magically obtained better quality over the fact that Hidan liked it.
There is is again. This isn't fair.
Hidan's annoying behavior didn't stop at the music either. Just as he'd expected, the man started making obscene comments about their... mutual situation. He wasn't about to call it a relationship because so far it had been nothing but that stupid kiss that he wasn't even sure anymore of why the hell he'd wanted it so bad, or enjoyed it so much, or kept thinking about it obsessivley to the point where he was beginning to think Hidan's insanity was contageous. God, every time he looked at that face a little too long, the way his thoughts flashed across them when he was focusing, that adorable way he chewed on his lip and his brows crunched together ever-so-slightly when he was putting intense concentration into something. And calling him 'Kuzu'. For the love of Benjamin, why was it so hard to pretend like he despised it? Why didn't he despise it!? That was horredous! Abysmal! Someone calling him, Doctor Kakuzu Hoku, something that sounded like a name a newborn would say for the fact that they can't properly pronounce words... It was rediculous. Absoloutly rediculous, both for the fact that the imbecile had the gall to call him that and that he, himself, had the audacity to like the way it sounded coming from his employee's mouth.
Fuck. What was happening? What the hell was he thinking?
And Wednesday, Ooohoho Wednesday... That was the final straw. He didn't care what nonseniscal reason Hidan was disregarding his terrible behavior with, he had warned him that very first day that he would be severely punished if the idiot every said one more foul word in front of his clients. Even if it was a new one who likley had only come in just to flirt with His employee. Even if that irritated him, even if it made him smile on the inside to see her shocked, hurt face after Hidan's bold proclamations. When you messed with his clients, you messed with his business, and when you messed with his business, you messed with his money. And no one, no one, messed with Kakuzu Hoku's money.
"What the hell is wrong with you!?" He growled, slamming a hand onto his secretaries desk and leaning forward to glare down into those pigmentless eyes.
"What!? She was flirting with me! I was just being honest!"
"You were going out of your way to be rude to her, and I heard the woman, she wasn't coming off strong enough for you to justify reacting like that!"
"Pfft, she was laying it on pretty thick, Kuzu."
"I told you to stop calling me that."
"And I told you it's not a big deal. All I was doing was introducing the poser-albino slut the way she let herself come off as wanting to be introduced; as a slut."
"If announcing that to me was supposed to serve some sort of purpose, it didn't. It did nothing but embarass each and every individual in the room with it's absurdity."
"You think I was trying to make you jealous? For fuck's sake Kuzu, not everything I do and say is about you."
"If you call me that again, Hidan... I swear..."
"You need to pull the fucking stick out of your ass old man. There's no one around! Don't be embarrased-"
"Hidan!" He snarled, grabbing him suddenly by the shirt and hauling him from the seat. Again he had to resist a smile at how wonderfully round and wide those peony-pink eyes became. He pulled him up close to him so that their noses were seperated only by a hair-width of space. "I have had enough of this behavior. I told you I am not going to coddle you, and I am not going to let you get away with acting this way. If it is some sort of test, I don't appreciate it, and it is going to stop right now, no alternatives, no highway option. It's going... to stop."
Hidan's eyes remained wide, and he tried to calm the burning anger that had suddenly flared up within him. It was easy when he was so pleased with himself. Thank God, I can still be an asshole. He'd worried there for awhile if he'd lost his very best talent by losing his ability to be thoroughly pissed at someone, namely Hidan San.
He lowered the albino to the ground, enjoying his slack face and saucerpan eyes. "If you want to go make that girl cry, track her down after work hours away from my business. If I find you eliciting that kind of behavior or anything close to it to any of my clients again, you're going to regret the day you ever met me. Do you understand?"
Hidan gave him a jerky nod, widened gaze not breaking from the elder man's narrowed one. He allowed himself to smirk now, a victory smirk, a dominant smirk. He'd scared the shit out of the little brat, he was going to revel in it. He still had it, thank whatever universal force was out there. After months of having to keep his temper, it was still there. He would celebrate if he wasn't currently on the job.
"When is the next client scheduled?"
"Three-thirty." Hidan said back breathlessly, still staring.
"Then you can take a break to collect yourself, you look like an idiot gawking like that."
"Well, you always threatened me but you never actually did anything before..."
"Are you scared?"
"No."
Kakuzu paused in his act of turning around to return to his office, and twisted to stare at Hidan. Did he just say he wasn't scared? Bullshit. Bullshit he wasn't scared, look at him, still standing there like a deer-in-headlights. He was about to piss himself. Little liar.
"I believe I also told you I don't like being lied to." He growled, turning around.
"I'm not scared." Hidan said again, his nonchalant voice not mixing well at all with the look still plastered across his features, as if predicting some completley unexpected even to occur within the next few seconds. His breaths still came heavily, though not quickly, with his mouth dropped slightly open, and a pink tongue darted out more than once to wet his lips absently.
Kakuzu raised an eyebrow. No, maybe he wasn't scared, that didn't look like scared. That looked closer to shocked, or... expectant. What the hell is going on in that damned head, you insufferable brat? "Then what the bloody hell are you?"
There were no more words exchanged between them for the next 15 minutes for the fact that the Doctor was taken competley off-guard by the smaller body slamming into him, making him lose his balance and stumble back into the wall (that was thankfully) behind him. Pale arms around his neck, a chest against his, abs against his, weight pressing down and against him, and most importantly a pair of warm, welcoming lips against his. He couldn't even get any sort of coherant thoughts out before his traitorous body was reacting for him. He hunched over, forcing the man into submission, hands instictivley reached down to cup that girly-yet-somehow-still-perfectly-masculine ass roughly. By the time he realized what was happening the taste of Hidan was already covering his tongue and consuming all control of his senses and he realized it was far too late for anything to be done about this.
Dammit.
.
"Has anyone ever told you you look like a fucking sex god when you're pissed?" Hidan said when he came back in and stood uncomfortabley close to Kakuzu, reeking of cigarettes.
"No. But I've never been called 'cute' or 'adorable' either." He replied, resisting the urge to tell him to go spray himself with the air freshener in the bathroom for the fact that he was scared the idiot may reveal some travel-sized cologne in his pocket the way he had randomly produced that hand sanitizer way back when he had that cold. Why he was scared of that, he didn't know. And he pushed the thought from his mind, it was far over-occupied already at the moment.
"I'm just full of surprises eh?"
"Irritating surprises."
"Tch, I warned you, I'm an irritating guy."
He finished wiping the examination table with the sterile wipes, and slipped his gloves off, moving to toss all three items in the trashcan beneath the sink. Hidan was usually the one who took care of the cleaning, but Kakuzu had sent him away with the excuse of taking a break, even going so far as to allow the man to have a cigarette during business hours just to make sure he'd leave him alone for a few minutes when the the next patient had shown up right on time.
Never before had he ever, in all twenty years of working here, in all of the previous years as an intern, had to deal with the problem of hiding an erection while trying to go about a routine checkup on a 7-year-old. He had done a sucessful job, the mother's eyes and overly-cheerful demeanor had never revealed that she noticed. And he'd had to lean over the table with his face buried in his palms for a few seconds after she and her boy left to collect himself.
Hidan San was going to be the death of either him, or his business, without a doupt.
The child was in fine health, and the checkup hadn't taken more than ten minutes, which left him with five minutes of peace and quiet to try and understand what had just happened and why he had allowed it to and scolded himself for it as well. Oh yes, what a perfect way to punish the boy! What a wonderful way to enforce a threat, just fuck his mouth with your own.
Christ, he was losing his mind.
Absently, he'd started cleaning, and continued merely to keep himself from just standing there awkwardly, lost in his own thoughts. He could dismiss his behavior at the party merely for the fact that he'd been drinking alchohol, he could reason with himself that it had influenced his actions, making everything feel much more intense, making it harder for him to control himself. But just a few minutes ago, as soon as those pale fucking lips had pressed into his, it had happened again, without any outside source to blame it on.
He just couldn't stop himself...
The warm body pressed so close against him, not soft and curvy like a woman, but hard, rigid, with chorded muscles but skin just as soft everywhere he touched. Submissive, but not completley, still pushing back hungrily, pressing himself closer, closer than physically possible. Rubbing and gringing against his hips and groin, clinging to him, nails digging into his neck, his back. It hurt, but it felt good, he heard the sounds he made, like a hungry animal, growling and grunting, demanding he get more, as if fighting with Hidan over the man's own body.
Hidan made the same sounds, no girly moans or mewls, just groaning, a few curses here and there, the occasional hiss of a breath being drawn in hastily. He didn't relent, didn't give Kakuzu what he wanted, fought with him, just as demanding, that Kakuzu should be the one to give in. He continued pinning the older man against the wall, attempting to take some sort of position of dominance without actually being able to pull it off. This was nothing like it had been the first time, a drunken Hidan was submissive, sexy, willing... But a sober Hidan was... irresistable.
He bit down hard onto Hidan's lower lip. The albino hissed, "Oh fuck... God..." He growled, pushing himself closer. Kakuzu smiled, pulling his shirt up, untucking it from his pants, slipping his hands up his back, and digging his nails in roughly. "Nnnnghh, SHIT!" Hidan snarled, arching against it and pushing their hips even further together, sinking his teeth sharply into the Doctor's shoulder.
"Random fact; The sight of blood is deeply arousing for me." The boy really was some sort of masochist, he liked being hurt. He liked being threatened, it wasn't scarey to him, it was erotic. What a coincidence, because threatening people, making them scared, hurting them, that was enjoyable to Kakuzu.
The possiblities...
Hidan had just started worked those annoying damned little fingers at trying to get the elder man to shrug out of his labcoat, and in all honesty he had been about to. But then the bell on the front door had dinged, and they'd parted as if who giant invisible hands had grabbed them and thrown them away from each other.
"Hey!" Hidan said cheerily, stumbling behind his desk. The woman looked up from fussing with her son's shirt. "Oh! Hi, we're the three-thirty!" She replied, not seeming to notice when Hidan smoothed a hand over his gelled hair and cleared his throat and adjusted his shirt.
"Lem'me go get him for you." So uncharactaristic, And dissapointing. The man had been such a good actor that very first day, but that performance was an abomination. Thankfully the woman was a mother and therefore constantly distracted by her child or whatever thoughts went through a mother's brain constantly. Either that or she was just incredibley unobservant, or didn't care. Either way it was a good thing.
It was at that point Kakuzu told Hidan to go have a cigarette or something and pull himself together. The idiot had agree'd willingly enough, shooting him a smirk before he dissapeared down the hallway. Kakuzu adjusted his collar, and then his pants, and put on a real performance.
"Thank you." Hidan said suddenly, snapping him from his thoughts. He blinked at his employee, once again standing unnecessarily close.
"For what?"
"Being straight with me."
Again he blinked, thinking that what they had just done was nowhere near an action anyone would refer to as 'straight'. Directly following that thought came the memory of their earlier conversation, and he had to resist laughter again, which frustrated him further.
"So it was a test." He growled.
Hidan chuckled. "No, I wasn't even thinking about it, didn't know it was a fucking option. I don't know, I've been having trouble being in a stable mood recently, but you actually did what you said you'd do. Which is fucking great. 'Tachi would have said something like 'Hidan we need to express your feeeeelings.' I don't need that shit, I don't always need to talk shit out. Sometimes just a punch in the face is all I need."
The elder raised a brow. "Is that what made you think you needed to instigate that... scene?"
The pale man sorted and turned, waving him off. "Nah, I already told you, you're hot when you're pissed to all hell. And don't act like you didn't enjoy it, fucker."
Kakuzu grunted, eyes flicking down to stare at the floor. "The warning still stands. And now I'm going to add this to it; no more of that shit during business hours, or you'll end up missing teeth."
"Ja Führer, wie Sie möchten." Hidan said back, giving him a military-esque salute before moving to leap into his rolling office chair, which rolled a few feet across the floor at the impact.
"Sie werden in meinem Gebiet, Hidan sprechen Englisch.*" He said back. Despite being Spanish and Italian, he'd taken a bi-lingual elective that centered on German in school, merely for brownie points that would make his files look better to the colleges he would submit them too. Of course Spanish had been a choice, but seeing as he despised his father and his inherited heritage, he had refused to learn the language.
He didn't know Hidan dabbled in it, just another annoyingly pleasant surprise the man offered.
His response took Hidan off-guard, apparently, and he allowed himself to give him a superior smile, before stuffing his hands into the pockets of his lab coat and whirling to leave. "Get back to work."
.
The matter seemed resolved on Thursday. Hidan was back to minding his manners, for the most part, at least. When he was actually on the clock he would revert back to how he had been previously, professional and moderatley respectful. he wouldn't speak to Kakuzu unless spoken to or to inform him of something relating to work. However, when he wasn't on the clock, his personality split completley and he became the annoying little pest he'd been for the last two days. He brought his laptop to work again, and just like previously, continued to try and solve the mystery of what music Kakuzu liked even though he continued to inform him that there was no such mystery, as he didn't like any music.
Kakuzu had more of less given up trying to get him to stop calling him 'Kuzu' as well. It seemed to more he made clear how much he detested it, the mor Hidan did it. Threatening the idiot only made him horny, apparently, and ignoring it neither encouraged nor discouraged it, and so he continued to use it anyway. And seeing as nothing was going to stop him, and that in the sacred privacy of his own mind, he didn't mind it all that much anyway, he'd just given up. It was not surrender, he was not bested by the idiot of the century. It was simply not worth his precious time or energy, so he made a strategic move to ignore it for the time being.
The doctor had also given up trying to find solace in the privacy of his office, after he shut the door behind him yesterday and Hidan had barged in anyway. Again he sat out at the table in the break room, more to keep the idiot from propping his feet up on his desk than anything. And again he'd pulled that rediculous device out and plopped it on his lap.
At least his choices today weren't all that bad, they were songs he actually recognized, songs he grew up with. Not the screaming, automated, headache-enducing mess that music had become in this day and age. He was grateful at least that he'd made the connection as to the correlation to the generation of music Kakuzu would prefer, since the idiot was absoloutly insistent upon this stupid exersize. And another up-side to it was that since Hidan didn't really know the songs, he wasn't constantly flapping his mouth, instead studying the screen earnestly, eyes flicking across it as if reading something while the music played. Kakuzu had never internally, or even externally now that he thought about it, denied liking Hidan's voice, and he actually would be kind of curious to hear how he would sound trying to sing like Fine Young Cannibals. He accidentally made the mistake of imagining it and nearly was unable to hold back a sharp laugh.
Every so often during this increasinly long stretch of time, Hidan's eyes would flick up to his boss, and he would put on that irritatingly tantalizing little smirk each time he managed to catch Kakuzu's gaze. The elder would grimace and find somewhere else to look, wishing desperatley that he had decided to eat in his office anyway for the fact that he could pretend to be working on something.
Finally, Michael Sembello's 'Maniac' started playing, and he rolled his eyes and let out a large sigh, angrily crumpling the brown bag he'd brought his food in. Hidan only grinned mischeviously at him. "What? You don't like this one!? It's a classic, Kuzu. I thought you of all people would appreiciate-"
"I would appreciate you to knock it off. I told you I don't like music and I'm going to end up wringing your neck if you continue to force that abysmal shit on me."
"I know what you told me Kuzu but if you want me to listen then you have to fucking open your own goddamn saggy old ears! I told you, that I know you're lying and I'm going to find that one song that is irresistible for you to not sing along with. Everyone has one."
"I can't listen to you because the only thing I ever hear is your blasted idiocy trying to destroy my brains cells. I'm going to my office and if you try to follow me again i'm going to destroy you. Understand?"
"Your insults are starting to get kind of immature, Kuzu. I think you're trying too hard."
"Get back to work, Hidan."
"Waitwaitwait! One more song. This one conveys my feelings to you, per-her-fectly." The last was said through a few short chuckels. he loudly clicked a button on his computer, and the music began playing.
"Sugar... Sugar... Oohhh..."
The doctors eyes widened for a moment before narrowing down to mere slits, Hidan seemed like he was trying desperatley to keep his composure.
"Kuzu, this one- heh- this one is so you!"
"She sits aloooone, waiting for suggestion. He's so nervous, avoiding all the lips are dryyyy, her heart is gently pounding. Don't you just knooow exactly what they're thinking?
Iiif you want my bodyyy, aaand you think I'm sexy. Come ong, sugar, let me you really need me, juuust reach out and touch me. Come on Honey, tell me so. Tell me so, baby.*"
After mouthing the words to the song and letting his hands wander all over his upper body seductivley ( Kakuzu was assuming he'd been listening to it for awhile to learn it so he could introduce it in this exact way.) Hidan burst into a fit of laughter, clutching at his stomache as he did so.
"I hired a damn child..." He growled, starting to turn away, ignoring Hidan sputting out near unintelligible phrases in between his gasps; "Do you think I'm s-sexy Kuzu? Bahahahahaha! If you want my body, ju-hahaha, just reach out and touch me-hee-hee-hee!" and "You really have to stop fucki-heeheehee-ing looking at me like that. Your fucking expression is makening it so muc-huh-huh-huch worse!" He continued it even after the second verse was over, and then started singing the chorus again, shaking with laughter as he did so, looking the elder man dead in the eyes while he did it.
He stepped through his doorway and was just about to slam the door behind him when he heard a crash, and whirled around to see that Hidan had actually fallen out of his chair and knocked it sideways into the water cooler in his laughter.
He turned around and slammed the door behind him so hard he had to double-check to make sure he hadn't broken anything, which would have just pissed him off more.
He actually liked Rod Stewart... dammit.
.
"I'm making that our love song, Kuzu." Hidan boldly announced the next day as he plopped down in the chair he moved directly beside the old man.
The Doctor sighed heavily, closing his eyes as he did so to gather himself for the next sixty minutes that were surely going to be hell. "Even though you and that pink-haired girl were fighting about the stupidity of people who deem public songs as their own?"
"Her name is Tayuya, and yes. I'm human, makes me a hypocrite by default." He said, suddenly somber again as he tore the Seran-wrap from his sandwich. He always brought sandwiches, never anything else, Kakuzu noticed, but didn't bother careing about, even though the curiosity still lingered in the back of his mind.
"I don't care to learn her name. Just because you associate with her doesn't mean I have any intention to." He went on. The albinos attitude had changed when he mentioned the girl, and it bothered him. It irritated him that it bothered him, but he was no fool, he wasn't so stupid as to not observe the way the girl acted around Hidan. It had been obvious at the time that she had some sort of crush on him, but Hidan hadn't seemed to return any of those feelings. However, this sudden reaction at the mentioning of her was... irritating. Hidan was an idiot, immature, infuriating, and yet still somehow despite all that he still had this strange desire for him. Just as he'd thought at the party when he'd nearly lost control of himself, he wanted Hidan to be his, and his alone. For the thought that he might have feelings for someone else to present itself... well, he needed to know more.
"Meh, she left anyway. We're not really friends now."
He grunted and took a sip of his tea. "Good, she was more annoying than you."
"Tch. Don't start talking shit. You're too old for that kind of shit."
"I was merely expressing my opinion, you do it constantly. I have every right too."
"Well you didn't even fucking know her. So shut the fuck up."
"It's hard to get to know someone when they don't shut the bloody hell up and every other word is a swear."
Hidan stood up suddenly, glaring at him. Kakuzu stared back, unphazed on the outside but getting angrier and angrier by the second of Hidan's defensive attitude. "She stopped talking to me because she figured out that you and I have a thing. And she didn't want to fucking intrude on it. I don't know if you know this, Kuzu, but it's hard to find decent fucking friends for someone like me. She was one of them." He spoke calmly, despite the firey rage burning behind his eyes. This was what kept Kakuzu from agging the situation on further. he was having one of those rare moments where he was acting mature, and not bursting into a stream of shouting and yelling even though he was clearly pissed. Hidan was extremley desireable at moments like that.
"I'm kind of still pissed off about it..." He said, sitting back down. He stared at his lunch for a few moments before starting to wrap it back up. Kakuzu didn't say anything. "I didn't like her like that or anything, you know. But it would be the same if Itachi just up and decided he didn't want to be my friend anymore. And what's even shittier is she didn't even have the balls to tell me."
'Just don't feel like you have to protect me from yourself... or... whatever...' Kakuzu absently took a bite of his own lunch, resisting the urge to tell Hidan he was acting like a damned woman and that he didn't care. Mainly for the fact that he was trying to convince himself that he didn't care, and trying to figure out why, exactly, he did.
"I know I'm kind of a joke, Kakuzu..." Hidan mumbled, still staring at his re-wrapped sandwich. Kakuzu looked over at him for the fact that he'd just called him by his name and not that damn nickname. "I bring it on myself, I know. I'm not stupid. But I'm not going to fucking change myself for other people. I thought she understood that, you know, being through the same shit. And then she goes and does this to me. It's bullshit. I miss talking to her... how gay is that? I hate it, but I can't change it..."
Kakuzu took in and let out a silent beep breath, thinking idley that he preffered the whole music business to this. He was kind of mad at the bitch too, for the fact that she'd brought on this current situation by doing what she did, and also, surprisingly, he was mad at her for doing that to Hidan. He didn't want to be mad, he wanted to be pleased that the annoying little twerp was gone.
"I actually like that song." He said, hating himself for it as soon as it was out. Whatever, he'd take the humiliation of being teased over this introspective, depressed Hidan any day. He didn't like the angry possessiveness that it made him feel. He was fine with thinking Hidan was his, like some possession. But possessions were things, he wasn't supposed to feel the need to care about their thoughts and feelings, which it turned out the moron actually seemed to have, other than anger, of course.
Hidan blinked and twisted to him. "What song, you mean 'Do you think I'm sexy?'"
"I enjoy Rod Stewart. Yes."
And just like that he was back to normal, his signature grin stretched across his face and he laughed, punching his boss lightly on the shoulder. "Fuck yeah! I told you I'd figure it out. Damn, can I call it or what? I'm such a genious that even I trick myself into thinking I'm not." He stood up and took a few large steps to the coatrack beside the door where His laptop was hanging in his case and returned to plop down in the chair. In a second the machine was out and on the counter and he was typing away on the keys.
"It's fucking ironic because it was two of his songs that I was trying to decide between. I figured the other one was kinda fucking girly so you probably wouldn't like it. But if you like him then I wanna see if you like this song. It's kind of religious and shit too so that helped me decide." He was speaking fast and animated as his fingers clicked away at the keys. Beside him, Kakuzu buried his head in his hands. What the hell had he just done?
"Yeah, this one." Hidan said, and Rod Stewart's 'Forever Young' started playing.
Hidan nodded his head to the beat, smiling up at Kakuzu. "You like it? I think it's fucking funny, cuz' you're fuckin' old. I actually kind of like it, how gay is that?"
kakuzu squinted at him. "Are you on some new prescription today?"
A silver brow raised in question. "Uh... I don't think so. Why?"
"You're being particularly irritating today." The Doctor replied, pushing from his chair and grabbing his lunch. Particularly enticing, more like. The answer to that question eas yes, yes he did enjoy that song, despite it's religious themes and the fact that Rod was singing to his children, or his lover, whatever, he didn't look into songs the way Hidan did. The fact of the matter here was that yes, it was terribley uncharactaristic for him to like such a song like that, And that little albino worm had somehow played his goddamned mindgames and gotten him to haphazardly admit it. Damn, damn, damn.
He tossed his trash into the trashcan and continued down the hall to wash his hands in the examination room sink.
Luckily it was Friday. He had two entire Hidan-free days to enjoy after this long week was finally over. Two days to clear his head and figure out what the hell was to be done about this. The situation had certianly not solved itself the way Kisame had seemed to think it would by Kakuzu just 'making a move.' In fact, it had gotten somewhat worse. Previously, he may have wanted Hidan, but nothing happened. It was a consolation, everything was normal, he knew what to expect, despite not being able to sleep because he couldn't get the brat off his mind. The only problem that had been solved here was his ability to squeeze in at least a few hours of sleep.
The brat still plauged him constantly, and now there was no telling what he could expect from Hidan. It was beyond frustrating. And the idiot wouldn't come to his damn senses no matter how many times Kakuzu informed him that his actions were not okay and just act like a normal human being. The most important consequence here was the fact that his business was in constant danger. Before he'd had only to worry about what would happen if people found out that they were involved, but with what happened on Wednesday, there was a whole new perspective added to that.
'Finding out' was nothing compared to what would have happened if a patient had actually walked in on that scene. Someone spreading rumors that they were together, gossip was denieable, his status would make people disbelieving, but someone, especially a mother with yer young child, to see them doing that... The damage would be irreversable. And it didn't help that Hidan seemed to have some asenine vendetta against each and every young woman that stepped through the door and attempted to flirt with him. Kakuzu could practically feel his clinic's popularity dropping.
A solution needed to be found to this, and by a solution, he mean a way to either get it through Hidan's fucking head that he had to stop acting that way while they were working, or find some way to be able to fire him or get him to quit without destroying his business in the process.
He was extremley dissapointed in himself at the little pin needle of pain that shocked through him when he thought of not having Hidan around. Damn, this situation was terrible. What the hell was happening to him, what the hell was he thinking?
It had to be contageous. He really was going insane. It's the only explanation.
-o-
A/N-
A/N- Holy fucking TWO WEEKS LATER! Oh hey guys. I actually AM still alive, I'm very grateful for your concern. :) Just got a little caught up in how much of a major bitch life can occasionally be. I've been working on this chapter in bits and pieces for like, a week and a half. I honestly hope it's not as terrible as it seems to me, and I apologize if it is, I really had to force it out. The motivation has just not been there recently. It's hard to 'Go with the flow' when the flow has stopped. :/
So, You guys wanted more KakuHida, and I'm hoping I gave it to you. The next chapter is going to be more or less like this one, kind-sort just random drabble and filler, except it will be the weekend and they won't be in the work atmosphere and there were probably be a very large spurt of relationship development. :) So yeah, I won't make promises as to when that will be out, but uh.. hopefully it won't be as goddamned difficult as this one was!
For the record, An Imperial Affliction( I mentioned it in the last chapter) is not a real book. GASP! Nope, it's a fictional book created inside the midst of another book. The Fault in Our Stars- John Green. 'Tis a very good read, though very sad.
*Random note. HAHA I SAID ERECTION! Scandelous.
*Hiruko is actually a guy in the movie. I gender swapped, don't care. Can't have another albino dude stealing the spotlight. Also made him a stupid bitch. Again, don't care...
Sie werden in meinem Gebiet, Hidan sprechen Englisch.* - German for "You will speak English in my domain, Hidan." Google translate, apologies if that's wrong.
*In case you didn't catch it earlier, the Rod Stewart song Hidan played for Kakuzu is called 'Do you think I'm sexy." Lol, It's actually a catchy song, go listen.
Alright, so i hope you enjoyed, forgive all the damn typos, and please don't forget to leave me alil review, mybe it will get my brain to stop being all wonky and get back on track.
Love you guys, see ya next chapter.