FOLLOW YOUR ARROW
Epilogue
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"You little worm." Kakuzu growled, snatching Hidan by the collar of his shirt just before the younger whirled fully around, sucessfully stopping his mad dash to the front door. With a none-too-gentle jerk he pulled him close, letting the shorter remain on the floor only for the fact that he didn't have a strong enough grip on the fabric to lift him up and therefore incapacitate him.
"Ka-kakuzu! Calm your fucking tits okay?! I can explain this one!" Hidan shrilled in his surprise after being ambushed immediatly after shutting the door, those annoying little fingers prying desperately at Kakuzu's in some vain attempt to save himself.
"I don't know what part of your stupid brain keeps rationalizing that I give a damn about your excuses, Hidan." He snarled back, trying not to let it reflect on any part of his being how much he always enjoyed watching the pale man struggle to escape his hold. " And I'm getting tired of explaining it to you time after time. If you haven't learned this after 7 months then there really may be no hope for you at all."
"Kakuzu I swear to God! It's not even mine!" Hidan half-shouted, voice breaking as his struggling only succeeded in tightening the knot of clothing around his throat. The Doctor raised a skeptical brow at this, permanently bloodshot eyes boring into that peony pink. Well at least the little imbecile knew why he was in trouble this time. In a way he was learning. But then Hidan paused for a moment, chewing on his lip, and the elder man's brows fell back down in anger. The little rat was lying, going so far as to even bring his religion into it. It was the one tell Kakuzu had always thought he could rely on. When Hidan 'swore to God', he was telling the truth. But that didn't seem to be the case this time. In fact he knew it wasn't. How could it be? He'd practically caught the twerp red-handed!
"Okay okay it IS mine." He quickly corrected, unable or unwilling apparently to face the wrath of God for his lie. Kakuzu would have gripped harder if he wasn't already doing it with as much might as a man has in a single hand. Hidan sputtered on. "But it wasn't my idea! I'm not even shitting you Kakuzu! Seriously!"
The doctor made no movement what-so-ever, only glaring back at the idiot with all the fury he could pump through his body language. The little pest, after everything he'd done, he goes and does some brainless thing like this, not even stopping to consider the consequences, how much damage it would do to everyone associated with him, everyone who'd ever stood up before a court-appointed jury and claimed 'Hidan is a good person! This is the truth!'
"Oh C'mon Kuzu! I'm Weak! You know I have so self-control it's really not my fault! I told that Dumbshit it was a terrible idea and he said 'Just hold it for me, no one will suspect you!' And so I did it but I swear I was only just going to hold it and then he went to jail and it was just fucking sitting there, begging me to smoke it and I fucking told it no but Goddammit Kuzu this brain of mine you know I get so stressed over the dumbest shit and it just helps me relax-"
"Hidan." He growled, sighing despite himself and loosening his grip. The little idiot was rambleing on so frantically and so quickly that his words were beginning to bleed together even further, combining themselves into this irritating hum that pounded mercilessly on the inside of Kakuzu's skull.
"What's even the harm in it Kuzu? I mean those fucking prescriptions 'Tachi and Pineapple-head had me on did more damage than weed ever did! I promise I'm always careful, I only have a little at a time just right before bed, it helps me sleep without you, you know? I've actually slept the full fucking 8 hours every day this week with the help of-"
"Hidan." He said more forefully now, giving him the smallest of shakes to stop his insipid rambling. He was furious, pissed, absoloutly flowing with rage, but damn it all if he wasn't exhausted in equal proportions... Why did this have to happen? Why couldn't Hidan just have a little dignity, maybe remain silent and bite his tongue for once? Take his beating like a an and be done with it instead of squirming like a damned boneless rat in his grip, always just inches from escape, chattering on and on, excuses and lies and whine, whine, whine.
"I was gonna tell you about it Kuzu, really! I was just waiting until Itachi and Shark-dick got back from their stupid little vacation so I could get him imput on it first cuz you know this fucking brain of mine doesn't always fucking work like it should..."
Or maybe not even do it in the first place. That would be wonderful. Kakuzu would go back to fucking school just to become a brain surgeon if only for the sake of removing the part of Hidan's brain that made him so damn... Hidan-like.
"And I know, I know I should've just not done it in the first place. I made a fucking mistake, it's that fucking snowfall effect or whatever the hell it goes. I've been sittin here stressing and stressing over this one little fucking thing and I was gonna just throw it away but I kept thinking 'what if they figured out it was mine?' or 'what if someone see's me.'
Finally there was a pause as Hidan seemed to be trying to catch his breath. Kakuzu took the chance to guide him over into the tiny living area that honestly struck him as a ripoff for what Hidan had to pay for rent to live here and shoved the blissfully silent man so that he fell backward onto the cheap recliner he'd stolen from the donations in the back alley of a Salvation Army.
"Hidan..." He breathed again, letting himself lower down to the couch on the mirroring wall, an entire 2 feet from the chair.
"What?" The younger finally replied, looking as if he might take the advantage to bolt from the apartment.
"I wouldn't care, under normal circumstances. You should know that by now." He explained wearily, massaging his eyes with one hand and the back of his neck with the other. Strangely enough it was the truth, He wasn't unreasonable, and he may be old but he was not that old. His hippy mother had kept that stuff around in stashes all over the house! And being a doctor, he knew a thing or two about it, with each passing year the arguements to legalize the stuff became more and more of a common thing, the studies were everywhere a person in his business looked!
No, he wouldn't have cared, under normal circumstances. Compared to the things Hidan used to indulge himself with... well... he wouldn't have cared. And it was hard getting himself to care now, anger took so much energy anyore, that idiot across from him seemed to have Kakuzu's age wrapped around his dimwitted little fingers, adjusting it with the drop of a hat, completley unaware. One moment he feels fine, full of energy, the closest thing to genuinely happy someone like himself could get. Then suddenly came the days like this, where his physical body rocketed down the timeline and he suddenly felt as if each movement required more effort than it should, like his muscles had deteriorated and his bones grew feeble and just getting up to take a piss was like hiking a mountian side.
"But dammit, Hidan, you are on a probation period until February. If they caught you with this not only would you be taken and shoved away in some dark corner, safe from the rest of society, I would get black marks on my record as well for sticking my damn neck out for you at the trial." Black marks, more like giant, festering piles of decomposing shit stamped across his forehead. 'Kakuzu Hoku hired a dope user? Even defended him in a court of law? What if he uses too? The man's eyes are always so red, ohhh, we're not going there anymore...' CRASH! The sound of his business and everything he'd spent years building up colliding headfirst into the ground, big fiery explosions, people running and screaming in terror...
About halfway through this, Hidan's body seemed to lose all solidity and slumped down into the chair like a blob of jelly. "I fuckin' know... dammit. I just don't fucking understand..."
The Doctor snapped back to attention, eyes narrowing. "What's there not to understand?! It's not that hard you bloody idiot! Don't do anything illegal. Simple as breathing!"
"It's not that fucking simple at all! There's nothing for me to fucking vent my frustration and shit through! Nothing that's fucking 'legal' at least. No matter what I do you're fucking mad at me or Itachi's dissapointed in me. Why do I even fucking bother trying to get things right anyway!? Why can't you guys just stop fucking controlling me huh?!"
"When the law is no longer looking for any excuse to throw you in the nearest prison or mental institution, I would be happy to release the reigns. You think I enjoy babysitting a grown man?" Here we go again, more argueing, more anger, more energy...
"Fuck you!" Hidan feels attacked and can't think rationally. He goes into defensive offense. Itachi had told him this after those first few weeks of their relationship, as if he didn't already know. Like a cornered animal, wild and desperate for a way out. But threaten him and he goes from a measly frightened squirrel to a rapid badger.
"And what about your damned music or art or whatever the hell it's called anymore. " Kakuzu said, waving his arm in the direction of the bedroom where Hidan kept his guitar. Distract him, The Uchiha says. When you just don't have the energy, distract him, he'll clam down. And you can get to the heart of the issue faster. "You can't channel your idiotic feelings through that anymore?" Maybe, if he could get himself to stop insulting the little moron as well it would probably help things, but dammit, how thoughtless could a person be!?
"Tch. What the fucking point?"
Kakuzu ground his teeth, more anger and confusion pouring into him and relighting the previous fire which had burned away thanks to his insane lack of energy. It was infuriating, being so damn exhausted. His idiot of a best friend and that Uchiha boy had only been gone on their trip to visit Kisame's dying aunt for a week now, and yet Kakuzu felt as if he were running a 24 hour marathon every day trying to keep Hidan from screwing up all on his own. Honestly, that Uchiha had gained another level of respect in his mind for managing to do this without assistance for however long it had been before Hidan had made his wretched appearance in the Doctor's life.
After he'd bailed the twerp out of jail those some months ago, they'd returned to the two men's shared apartment where he'd had to resist the urge to murder everyone as the Hidan first got in a small arguement with each and every one of them, three times at the very least. Itachi slapped the albino for 'scaring the everloving shit out of him' -He actually said shit, and for once it didn't sound awkward or forced- and then finally things settled down and Kakuzu was able to go home for the night, only to be woken early the next morning by an incessant pounding on his door.
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The instant he'd snapped back to conciousness he was in a terrible mood, which really had become normal for him anymore. The fact that someone had the audacity to wake him up on a Sunday when he was trying to enjoy a well-deserved morning of sleeping in didn't help.
With a sound just below a roar of pure rage he threw the covers off himself and stormed through the house, anger rising with each and every pound to the hunk of metal that was currently the only thing keeping him from annihilating whatever life form was outside. He snapped the deadbolt, undid the knob-lock, and threw open the door only to be greeted by the sight of a pale man in rumbled clothes that suggested he hadn't slept at all, or even attempted to.
"Can I live with you?" He asked, not letting even a fraction of a second slip in there for Kakuzu to say anything first. This of course shocked him into speechlessness, which made Hidan start to fidget.
"Please?"
The doctor squinted at him, then leaned slightly to look behind him, trying to discern what time of day it might be, -about 10, he thought- and then attempted to look at his watch only to remember he hadn't put it on before raging through the house to answer the door.
"What time is it?"
It was Hidan's turn to look at him in confusion, those soft pigment-free eyes skirting up and down his body as if only just now realizing- "Did you just get up or something? Shit, I figured you for one of those 'rise with the sun' type of people..."
Kakuzu chose to ignore this, instead twisting around to glance at the clock in the foyer. It was indeed 9:43 in the morning. He'd been right and wrong. Not that it mattered much.
"Go put a fucking shirt on old man. That's distracting, seriously." Hidan said, raising a flattened palm to block his view of Kakuzu below the neck.
Ignoring the comments, he released a stream of air that came out in a sleepy growl. "Why the hell are you beating down my door on a Sunday? Haven't I been punished enough for one weekend?" Honestly, the things that had happened yesterday... the words that had been spoken between them. Like some heavy secret, the size of a butterfly but with the weight of an elephant, settled unflinchingly on his shoulders. It still made sense, all those strange, unfamiliar feelings and revelations were fresh in his mind, but there was still this hole that left him... somewhat afraid. And of course, like always, that inner fear only radiated outward into anger and resentment.
Hidan had told him he loved him, and he had practically said it right back. And he was experiencing the same confusion he had at every other 'milestone' he and Hidan ever seemed to come to, asking the same question; Now what?
Good god, did people in normal relationships deal with this kind of bullshit? Is this how they all were? If that were the case it was probably a good thing he'd never bothered with it until now, such a thing would get extremley tiresome extremley quickly.
"My fuckin' thoughts exactly." Hidan said, pushing past him with uncharacteristic agile-ness. Kakuzu blinked at the empty doorway for a second, questioning his own sanity and Hidan's ability to read his mind before he recalled what he'd just said before that train of thought had derailed. Slamming the door, he rubbed his eyes wearily and whirled around to grab that moron by the throat and forcibley remove him from his house before he was fully awake and unable to return to bed. Unfortunatly Hidan had already dissapeared somewhere into the house, his obnoxious voice bouncing off the many walls and informing the still-slightly-asleep Doctor that he was likley in the livingroom already.
"I promise you wouldn't even know I was here. You don't even have to give me a room like Itachi did, just let me crash on your couch on the rare occasions that I actually feel the need to sleep."
He entered the livingroom to find the pest already making himself comfortable on the couch, as if some invitation had been offered. Kakuzu stood still for a moment, absently watching Hidan while his mind raced through possible options. He could kick the brat out, but that required so much effort, and he was already exceptionally drained of energy this morning. He could just let him stay and go back to sleep, but what were the chances that loud-mouthed fool would actually keep quiet and let him rest? Did he even know what the meaning of 'quiet' was?
"Mind if I make some coffee? I had kind of a bullshit night."
No, obviously he did not.
"Hidan..." Kakuzu half-growled, now remembering why he hadn't instantly murdered the little idiot. That question he'd immediatly spouted off had thrown him. Of all the stupid questions that had ever come out of that accursed mouth... "Absoloutly not."
Hidan twisted around, and suddenly Kakuzu realized that the man's clothes were not the only thing on his person that seemed a little ragged. Hidan's eyes were sunken and bloodshot, his hair was in the same uncombed state as it had been when the elder man had picked him up from the jailhouse... Hidan had been in kind of a pathetic looking state then, but it hadn't been this bad. Something else had obviously occurred between when he left and just now.
"You mean I can't make coffee or I can't stay?"
Neither, he almost said, but unable to speak the actual word now that he'd taken notice. Part of him wanted to continue being an ass anyway, Hidan liked it, after all. And what concern was it of his if that Uchiha boy had decided to kick him out? Or he ran away, or whatever stupid thing the bloody infantile man might do...
"Is there some problem with where you are now?" He finally forced out, kind of-sort of already knowing the answer. For whatever reason he obviously didn't have the option of staying with the Uchiha any longer. But, depending on the circumstance, maybe he could fix the situation...
"Well... you can't really stay in a place once you've been evicted, Kuzu."
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"As I am to understand, you made some huge ordeal out of learning to play that wretched thing." He continued now, sitting on Hidan's couch in Hidan's little apartment and trying to remember why he'd intitially come over here. Everything before he'd detected the unmistakeable smell of marijuana and sniffed out the man's stash like a bloodhound seemed a little bit fuzzy. " You and that pink haired girl wouldn't shut the hell up about your little stunt at that rediculous party. You've been constantly harassing me about my interests in music, and wailing out your insufferable songs like a bitch in heat since then, and now all the sudden you want to know 'what's the point?'"
"Tch, all you ever do is complain about it, so why should I keep doing it? No one's going to listen to someone who sounds like a horny dog."
"The whole point of a hobby is that you enjoy doing it, you idiot."
"Yeah well how am I supposed to enjoy it when you fucking hate it?"
"Don't make this about me you little-"
"Why the fuck wouldn't it be about you? You're only like my whole life now!"
Kakuzu paused, halfway tensend to rise from the couch and beat some sense into the moron. Hidan has NEVER been one to care what anyone else thought, not about anything. He'd admitted once that Kakuzu was the only person outside of Itachi that he'd ever cared about, but that had all just been a matter of them admitting that they had these stupid urges and feelings toward each other. It had never even occurred to him until now that the fact may still hold true, that Hidan would actually have his feelings hurt by Kakuzu not supporting him.
But it was true. Hidan still had yet to make any real friends other than their little four man cell. And especially with two of those men gone, Kakuzu was all he had. Which translated to, the only thing he had was negative feedback, despite the fact that Kakuzu actually rather enjoyed Hidan's singing and playing and only insulted him about it out of pride and that annoying thought that he had to be an asshole all the time, even without any sort of reason behind it.
Internally, Kakuzu rolled his eyes. Dear Benjamin, kids these days... It was a wonder they've even survived this far! Always constantantly needing reassurance and acceptance of others before they could be confident. And when they didn't get it, when instead they received critisism and rejection, oh lord, it was tantrum city.'Fuck the haters!', they say, 'Fuck this and fuck that and fuck all of it!' Bloody children. Just like Hidan, children stuck in an adult body. Everything is always someone else's fault...
"I don't get the point of it..." Hidan continued, sullen and once again slumped into the recliner. "I mean, I like doing it. But what's the point of doing something that I'll never fucking progress with you know? I can't make a fucking lifestyle out of it, I don't even really want to. Being famous is kind of bullshit, the way I see it. All the shit celebrities have to deal with..."
Kakuzu paused in his thinking at that statement. So it wasn't just about the fact that he consantly told Hidan he was terrible and told him to shut up and 'knock that racket off before I break the damn thing'. Of course there was more, that damn albino.
I want to be special, even though I kind of don't...
The Doctor had recently forgotten that he had moments where he was incredibley thoughtful and bright, it hadn't happened in so long. Or he hadn't noticed it at least. He'd been rather caught up in trying to overcompensate for the calamity that had happened to his life and business those few months ago after Hidan had been arrested. Of course the whole town had heard almost instantly that the respectable Dr. Hoku's new secretary, the sensation among the younger generation, had been taken into custody for 'assaulting a man with cancer and a woman holding a newborn baby.' Despite the fact that Asuma Sarutobi had finally gotten the gall to speak out against his wife and defend Hidan and that the charges had been dropped. The judge seemed to have some vendetta against the man after looking through his legal records, and had insisted that some kind of punishment was due. Hidan of course had become infuriated at this, and likely would have earned himself time in prison had Kakuzu not jumped in at that very moment and convinced the man that some community service and parole would be just as good a punishment to Hidan as Jail-time.
In the end Hidan's popularity had instantly fallen to an all -time low. Not just from that catastrophe, but also the women of the town had gossiped among themselves of his less-than-polite behavior toward them. And in what had seemed no time at all Kakuzu was now employing and secretly dating the most hated man in the community, labeled as even more of an asshole than himself. Such a thing was far beyond stressful, the days had become increasingly rare when he could just go home and relax and not have to concern himself with it. Especially now that Hidan had more or less been forced to be on his own and take care of himself...
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"Ow! Motherfff-! Dammit Shark-dick what the fucking hell are you doing!?"
"Whoops, sorry kid. You sure you don't want the lighter end?"
"I'm not a goddamn whimp I can fucking carry a goddamn couch. Just slow the fuck down, these stairs are fucking steep as hell!"
"Hidan... I might suggest you clean up your language, and keep your voice down. This is the only complex in town that was willing to have you. I wouldn't give the other tenants reason to try and get you kicked out of here too..."
"Tch. Maybe if you weren't leaving me high and fucking dry I wouldn't have to be in this shit-hole, 'Tachi. OWWGODAMMIT!... DUDE! Are you trying to make me lose my fingers or what!?"
"Oh for the love of my sanity. Move the hell over you idiot, I'll do it."
"Fuck off Old man I can fucking handle it!"
Kakuzu shoved Hidan out of the way with his hip after grabbing the bottom of the couch. This scene was a bloody embarassment already and if he was going to be tounge-lashed and tricked by that Uchiha boy into helping the moron move then it needed to be done quickly and efficiently. All this shouting and swearing was only attracting attention, and it was already dangerous enough to his reputation for him to work with the boy, let alone associate with him outside of the clinic. And as far as he was concerned, helping someone move was a very large show of friendship, he was supposed to be Hidan's boss, an iron-fisted mentor that wouldn't stand for his shit and could sucessfully reform him into a respectable member of society.
Moving furniture for him was hardley listed as punishment.
In the time it had taken Hidan and Kisame to unload the couch from the trailor and bring it to the lower flight of stairs, Kakuzu and Kisame had carried it up, situated it in their grip so that it would fit through the narrow door, and placed it inside. Hidan of course had been griping and complaining the whole way, still throwing his little hissy fit because Kisame had decided to let Itachi move in with him after the two's eviction and thusly left Hidan with nowhere to go. The doctor honestly thought they were taking things too fast, but he was hardley a person to offer advice on relationships, judging by the tangled, ugly mess he was in currently with Hidan. Who, speaking of which, was rather peeved at him as well for refusing to let the boy mooch off of him.
Thankfully enough, Hidan hadn't seemed to argue too much when he informed him that it would be best if they spent as little time together as possible. The broken little mind of his at least seemed to understand the complexity of the situation, and what all was at stake. Their relationship would continue to exist as a secret known only by their closest of friends, meanwhile, Hidan would have to take a giant step forward in life by supporting himself like every one else in the world had to do.
Itachi had helped him find the apartment, but it had once again taken Kakuzu's good standings in the town to convince the landlord to give the albino a chance, as everyone and their grandmother now seemed to be inexplicabley aware of the one singular person known as Hidan San and all the trouble that seemed to follow him. Itachi's reputation as well had gone downhill, thought not as significantly as his ex-roommate. The complex manager appeared to be a homophobic idiot in Kakuzu's eyes, and thusly whouldn't take Itachi's vouching into account. This had bugged the Doctor for awhile, but Hidan seemed to be minding his manners as far as making it appear they weren't involved, and so the tension had decreased the slightest bit. Small towns were absoloutly rediculous, really. The measures a person had to go to just to have a little privacy...
Anyway, that had landed them all here, trying to get the vulgar brat moved in and out of their hair as quickly as possible. Kakuzu didn't waste any more time trying to let Hidan move anything that required more than just himself to lift, thankfully the place already came with the really heavy stuff, and all that was left after the couch was the recliner, an entertainment center, Hidan's makeshift futon bed from the apartment, and his dresser. Everything else were just small things; lamps, personal effects, blankets, a rug, some towels, dishes, an old clunky television Kisame had dug out of his attic, etcetc. Luckily for the old man, Hidan didn't really have a lot of stuff. Kisame repeatedly pointed this out and followed it with complaints about the mass amount of things Itachi had seemed to somehow stuff into that apartment. Dr. Hoku had only listened half-interested, glad himself that those two didn't have the gall to try and pursuade them to help move the man-woman's things. This was plenty torture enough.
Soon enough Everything had been situated, Kisame and the Uchiha boy said their goodbyes and Kakuzu was following them out the door when his wrist was grabbed, and his movement halted. With a tired sigh he turned around to find an expresionless Hidan staring at his chest and still gripping his arm, looking much like a shy, scared child.
"What now?" He all but groaned, managing to make it come off as more of a growl.
"...It stinks in here."
Crooking a brow, Kakuzu stared for a moment before rolling his eyes. "The manager said this apartment has been empty for nearly two years. It will go away."
Hidan was silent for awhile, long enough to make the Doctor's anger start to relight. Dammit, he wasn't just going to stand here and consol the bloody moron. Just as he was going to yank himself free and continue on his way, Hidan let go, his arm swinging back to hang limply by his side.
"I hate being alone."
Kakuzu sighed. "There are five other apartments here, make friends and you won't be."
"I hate people too."
"Well you're going to have to get over one or the other then. If you think I'm suddenly going to grow a garden of compassion and stay here with you then you've lost even more of your mind than I thought."
Hidan scowled at this, looking up to meet his eyes, then running a frustrated hand through his hair. "I just... Don't just fucking disappear okay? I mean, I know it's not so different between you and me, we only ever saw each other at work usually anyway. But... Last time I had my own place...Some shit happened."
The two only regarded each other in silence for a moment, Kakuzu trying to process this information and evoke some kind of a reaction from himself. Hidan didn't trust himself, the elder man could understand that. Hidan wasn't always oblivious. Usually, but not always. And having to put faith in himself, being given free reign like this was terrifying to him. It left so many doors of temptation open, all of which would just lead him back to his old ways, and likley to another mental institution.
Kakuzu was no fool either, Hidan was terrified of losing him. He knew this, he had recognized it long ago, finally acknowledged it that night after he'd bailed him from jail. And the boy also knew that the biggest enemy he had to face in their relationship was himself. Unintentional self-sabotage. Even after that chaos, the idiot still wasn't convinced that Kakuzu Hoku wouldn't just give up and walk away. It made sense, surprisingly. But just knowing these things didn't help find any sort of solution. All there was to do was to keep trudging along. The Doctor would never admit it out loud, but after all of this, he couldn't imagine living without Hidan either. The prospect just suddenly seemed so... boring...
"Well. Don't think I won't be checking in on you. The officers around this town are a bunch of lazy imbeciles, they'd rather let you get away with murder than put forth the effort to do their job." He finally replied, earning the smallest twitch of a smile from the pale man.
"Tch. Well make sure you give me fair fucking warning. You know. To hide the body."
"You're an idiot."
"But I'm your idiot, Kuzu."
He halted in his actions, already halfway out the door, and turned back around, considering these words. Hidan just stared back with that damned grin of his, michief sparkling in those damnable, endearing eyes of his as if nothing at all were the matter in his world despite.
"You are." The doctor said lowly, and then turned to continue on his way.
.
"I think he knows he really is a special kind of person, and I think it scares the shit out of him."
Kakuzu blinked.
"Itachi would just say I'm depressed. Which, I dunno, I might be. I just don't see the point of playing... "
"Again, Hidan. The point is that you enjoy it, and it keeps you away from doing things that would get you in trouble." Kakuzu sighed now, having been stareing absently at the doorway. Well, it was a good thing he'd kept up his promise to check on him, Hidan had obviously not taken it seriously, or not expected Kakuzu to be so thorough, though honestly the entire place smelled of that terrible substance and only an idiot wouldn't notice... either way it is what it is. Hidan was slipping, and this couldn't be ignored, no matter how he rationalized it or defended himself. Not that that was a possibility, since Kakuzu rarely ever backed down anyway. "Which brings us back full-circle. Flush that shit down the toilet, or I will."
Hidan flailed back to life at this. "What!? But... There's only a little left, Can't I just finish out this batch and I'll never fucking touch it again!?"
"You really think I'm stupid enough to fall for that? Flush it, now."
"You fucking prick, I already told you I just use it to help me sleep!"
"Why don't you go to the pharmacy and get some sleeping pills like a normal, law-abiding citizen?"
"That shit doesn't work! Unless you wanna prescribe me some fucking Valium."
"Are you high right now boy? Why would I ever do a stupid bloody thing like that?"
Kakuzu was taken back immediatly when Hidan suddenly jumped up from the chair, snarling in a way that he'd never heard the boy do before and frankly sounded more like one of the sounds he would make when he was excruciatingly angry. In a smooth motion the albino whirled around and kicked the side of the recliner with such force that it actually was knocked over onto it's side.
"I'm so fucking sick of all these double-standards!" Hidan screeched, breathing heavily. "You want me to be a good, upstanding fucking citizen but you won't help me fucking do it. You and Itachi both want me to eat three meals a day and get 8 hours of sleep a night but you lock me away in this shit little apartment without the means to fucking do it and then get mad at me when I find my own methods. You want me to stop smoking and cussing and shouting but refuse to let me do anything to fun to relieve the goddamn stress. WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT FROM ME HUH?"
"Hidan-"
"I'm not a perfect person, alright? I'm not you, and I'm not Itachi, I'm just me. Why can't you guys get the fuck over it? You think I don't want to be perfect? 'Cos I really fucking do, I'd give anything to stop being a fuckup and dissapointing you over and over again. I don't have anything else to work for except making you proud of me. But I can't, I just can't! And I just need you to fucking love me anyway! I just want you to feel the way I feel about you. But instead all you ever see is some dumbass that can't get his shit together."
Kakuzu was quiet, listening intently, doing his best to remain calm. Damn that Hidan, he was so goddamn enticing when he was angry. But this was serious, he couldn't give in. The rare times when he did end up backing down and letting Hidan get away with his behavior was always when he was worked up like this. That bastard, he threw his fit and got pissed and for whatever deranged reason Kakuzu suddenly wanted to grab him and fuck him into the mattress and then he would just grin that stupid grin and Kakuzu would grind his teeth and storm away knowing that he'd lost...
"I'm fucking trying okay! I'll flush the stupid weed. I'll break all my cigarettes, I won't even leave the apartment except to go to work and get fucking groceries, and when I do that I won't say a word to anyone. I'll just be a good little hermit for the rest of my life and not cause any trouble for anyone, anywhere until you retire. And maybe then you won't be so fucking concerned about everyone hating you for being with me, if you even stick around that long."
Finally Hidan offered a pause in his ranting, stopping to glare at his boss, still seated stoically on the couch. Kakuzu didn't break the gaze, letting the silence between them stretch on until finally he pushed himself up from the couch and moved over to the fuming man. He had a point... Once again he had a goddamned point. This was Hidan San, a troublemaker even when he was being good. Bad situations were encoded so deeply into his being that it's as if he were one big walking disaster. But, compared to the things he'd been through in his short life... He'd been doing very well. The Doctor supposed, from an observational standpoint, the boy probably deserved some slack. This entire time Kakuzu had been concerned only about what this relationship would do to him, he thought only about how strange it was for himself to be enamoured with Hidan, of all the complications it would bring on his life. It was just natural to him, to be selfish and greedy, to expect Hidan to suddenly become a different person to suit Kakuzu's needs, because everything Hidan had been previous to meeting him was 'bad'. Of course it would be Hidan that would have all the work to do, of course Kakuzu would have nothing about himself to change.
And that's why he rose. Almost as if a slap to the face, another realization suddenly hit him. All this time, Hidan had been struggling, all the way from day one. Facing his demons, fighting his fears, resisting his desires (though not always that well) all for Kakuzu's sake. He obeyed every order he was given, sometimes reluctantly, but he eventually did it. He had kept dutifully quiet about their relationship. He poured himself into work to make Kakuzu's life easier in the instances that he could, that alone should strike him as a miracle for someone as attention deficit at Hidan... And all he'd received for all of this effort was more demands, more orders. Kakuzu hadn't had to give up a single thing except his own security, and here Hidan was, in his own place though he despised lonliness, all alone, but still fighting to do and be better, all for the sake of Kakuzu Hoku. In fact he'd just blatantly stated that he would gladly hole himself up in here and be completley miserable for however long it takes if that meant that eventually Kakuzu would come around and actually stay for once.
Hidan now stared at him suspiciously, body still tensed from the outburst, chest moving rhythmically in and out in his anger induced heavy breathing. The doctor could only stare back, trying to pinpoint just exactly what emotion this was that he was feeling. There had always been the want, the desire to have Hidan for himself. That wasn't quite it though. This was possessive... it was warm, and almost hurt... and he even grimaced slightly when he finally settled upon a word he thought fit, but would never speak aloud ever again.
Then, shocking even himself, he embraced the little idiot, far too confused by the action his body had displayed without his permission to say or do anything other than stand there and hold him. It was there again, that damned thing. Not lust, something more, something deeper, more fulfiling. The thing that was not supposed to exist, the thing that people claimed to have and know only to turn around the next moment and claim they hated the person. That word, that stupid word that he refused to say...
After what seemed like an eternity, Hidan's limp body finally shifted, hugging him back. "Stupid old man..." He muttered into Kakuzu's shoulder, where his face was buried. "You think a hug is gonna make everything okay..."
"You..." Kakuzu said, not realizing he's craned his head down to put his cheek against Hidan's ear until he spoke. He couldn't continue right away, not exactly sure of what it was he was going to say. Still fighting, still resisting that damn feeling as if it were some invisible enemy trying to take him over, despite how good it actually felt. "You're doing well...Hidan."
Wide eyes were all he could really see when Hidan pulled away from him. He collected himself quick enough, but still stared skeptically at the old man.
"Well? I'm doing well?"
Kakuzu stayed stiffly in that spot, feeling strangley self-concious and incredibly uncomfortable. And still trying to discern what the hell he was thinking and doing at the moment. He managed to shrug his shoulders, and then his voice was speaking for him again. "Still a pain in the ass. But... you've come... a long way."
Again with the wide eyes, as if the Doctor were getting down on one bloody knee and proposing.
"I'm... proud of you..." Oh For the love of- did he really just say that?
Hidan really seemed to think the same thing, his face twisted in disgust for a brief second before that mouth of his was flapping once again.
"Oh my god. Are you sure you're not stoned right now? What? Are you like my fucking Dad now or something? Because that's really fucking unsettling and I'll probably have some serious fucking nightmares about that shit. The things we did together...Uuughh." He shuddered dramatically at the last bit, whirling to the side and vaulting over the couch. Kakuzu didn't pay much mind though, he was far too happy that the extreme discomfort of that moment was gone. At least there was one thing they had in common, witnessing the Doctor be sappy disgusted them both.
"That being so..." Hidan drawled, standing on his tip toes to peer out the only unbroken window of his front door. "No one saw you come over here right?" As he spoke, he reached down to snap the deadbolt lock into place, the sound of it seemed to bring the elder man back from his storm of relief.
"No. You know I always take a cab here. The driver knows to keep his mouth shut." He responded, now mirroring Hidan's previous suspicious looks. "Why are you locking the door..."
That mischevious grin spread across his young lovers face again as he turned. "I've been in this shithole for almost 7 months now, you've visited me exactly 20 times counting this one, and we have yet to break the fucker in."
The Doctor raised a brow. Break what in? The door? Why the hell...
"I figure if I'm doing so fucking well then I deserve a goddamn reward."
He blinked. "Hid-" The rest of the sentence went unfinished at he was quite literally pounced on by a pale jungle cat of a man.
Damn that man. He could bounce back from anything. 'Special' didn't even begin to cover it.
.
-o-
.
"Happy birthday Angel..." Kisame purred, crouching down over the much shorter man's form to slide his arms around him and squeeze.
Itachi resisted the random urge to burst into giddy laughter and leaned, or more like fell, backward into him. "As if twenty-five is anything to celebrate..." He said, focusing rather hard not to slurr but doing it anyway and not careing much. Kisame's mouth, pressed into the crook of his neck and shoulder, stretched into a grin.
"As hilarious as you're being, I think you need to stop drinking the punch. And if you complain that you're getting old one more time Angel, then I'm going to lauch myself into a mid-life crisis."
"Immature idiots... Everyone here is my age or older and yet someone still spikes the punch..." Itachi murmered, pushing off of his lover to attempt standing on his own, swaying in place. "So damn good though. What is this? I've got to figure out who did it and ask. Coconut? I taste coconut..."
In a smooth motion the cup was taken fro his hand by his gentle giant of a boyfriend and set one the table. with extremley high-pitched and whiney protests, he was guided away from the table. "I can probably solve that puzzle, Babe, with one simple question. Who is the most inappropriate, immature person you know that's currently in this building?"
Itachi's eyes narrowed dangerously. "Deidara."
A snort that was quickly stifled came from Kisame. "He's not even in your graduating class, 'Tachi. You're the one who told the kid on the way that he wouldn't be here. I was thinking more like, you know, the kid?"
"Well it's a damn good thing he's not here!" Itachi declared loudly as Kisame guided him to the bleachers and forced him to sit down. "I'd have a few choice words to say to that degenerate. Hida still wants to wring his neck. He made my senior year hell on Earth!"
"Are you sure you don't want to go home Angel?" Kisame said, gentle but anxiously.
"Absoloutly not!" Itachi said, throwing an arm in what was supposed to just be a wave but slapped onto Kisame's chest and fell limply into his lap, where the Uchiha stared at it as if it had just moved on his own until bursting into laughter.
Torn between extreme amusemet and concern for his dangerously drunken lover, Kisame smirked and sighed. Itachi noticed, and made an attempt to control himself, taking a few deep breaths and clearing his throat. "I'm sorry. Anyway, I'm not going home until I've seen Yahiko and Nagato, and Hidan is supposed to do a few numbers after this band is done. He swears up and down that Dr. Hoku promised he'd at least come to watch him perform, and I want to witness that as well."
He seemed to consider something for a moment, then started chuckling again. "Hida is up to something, he was far too eager to come tonight. Did you see that smile he was wearing before he jumped from the car and ran in?"
"Yes, I also saw the big-ass bottle of coconut rum he was hiding in his suit jacket..." The older man muttered, sighing and scanning the area. He remembered the brothers from the night of Hidan's twenty-third birthday party, they had certianly seemed like the type Hidan and Itachi would hang out with, an even mixture of mischief and keen intelligence balanced between the both of them. He and itachi had been here nearly an hour, Itachi mingleing and reminiscing, filling other men and women in with his subtle bragging and catty smirks. Kisame was lead around in between incresingly numerous trips to the table with all the heavily spiked punch and paraded like some prize winning, preened and pampered pet of Itachi's. For only a moment it had started to bother him, the lingering glances that these strangers gave him as he followed his younger lover, and then the alchohol had taken affect and soon Itachi was clinging and swooning over him, abandoning his quest to boast how wonderful his life was despite being gay and disowned by his family in favor of simply having a good, drunken time.
That had been beyond entertaining for awhile, but now the man was coming close to that tipping point that turned respectable, intelligent people into drooling, sex-crazed idiots looking for any excuse to embarrass themselves. And it now became Kisame's job to take care of him and keep him from doing such a thing. If not for Itachi's sake then for his own. There were two types of hungover Itachi; adorable, vulnerable, cuddley, sweet Itachi, and the raging beast from the deepest pits of hell pent on destroying anything and everything that came into his range of vision. Kisame had never been much of a gambler, so better safe than sorry.
He didn't have much control over the kid and Kakuzu situation. But he could at least make an effort to find those two brothers, surely they were here by now. He vaugley remembered them mentioning at the last party that they owned their own private plane...
"I don't know why you're so keep to blame it on Hidan, Kisame. He's really matured recently, what with online college and finally quitting those cigarettes. I don't think he'd do something so impulsive..."
"Angel... "Kisame said, doing his best not to laugh. "Do you remember what he told you just before he jumped out?"
"That he was finally going to get the stick out of Kakuzu's ass?"
"Well yes, I imagine that related to it too. He also told you 'Stick to the water fountian, ya fuckin' lightweight.'" The bigger man recited in a rather accurate impression.
"Hn..." Itachi's face twisted in concentration before it went slack, as if that were the most outlandish thing to happen in the world. "Oh my God... He did, didn't he?"
He couldn't help but laugh. "Don't get too worked up over it. These reunions have a way of making people turn back into teenagers. Shoulda seen mine. After three hours half my classmates had this idea to just go have a camp-out on the feild, These were grown men and women, mind you."
"That's an interesting thought..." Itachi said, looking for a moment as if deep in thought until he glanced up and saw Kisame's expression and started giggling again. "Only kidding, Kisa. " He shoved himself back up to his feet, dusting himself off as if just the thought had gotten him dirty. "Can you even imagine me doing anything remotley similar to camping? Please..."
Before the larger man had the time to picture the image Itachi suddenly shouted and took off. With a quick glance in direction he moved Kisame caught a bright flash of orange, unruly hair amidst a crowd of people and made off to catch up with him, smirking.
.
"So have you two tied the knot yet then?" Yahiko laughed, giving Itachi a playful shove then taking another sip of the large cup of punch the little weasel had nonchalantly forced them to drink.
"Of course not. It's yet to be legalized here. Desn't matter anyway, it's just a piece of paper, and anyway can you even imagine the uproar it would cause?" The Uchiha replied, squeezing Kisame's bicep that he had been off and on nuzzling during the entire encounter with the brothers. "It took nearly a year for the ignorant people of this town to finally stop looking at us as if we were visitors from another planet."
"How rude of them." Nagato's wife stated with a peaceful smile. Konan, Kisame had learned, was actually a very intelligent and reserved woman, despite the carefully mantained, navy blue dye-job of her hair and the lip piercing. "I admire your courage to remain in such a small city."
"Well, even in the larger towns there's still a fuss being made. " Yahiko's wife mentioned casually. "But there's always a fuss over one thing or another. Gay marraige, pollution, politics, scandals among celebrities... It never ends."
"One learns to tune it out." Konan agreed, pausing to take a drink. "We all were just in the paper just last week after word leaked we'd be taking a weekends vacation to come here. You wouldn't believe the terrible things people have said, the ordeal they've made out of something so small."
"I do actually." Itachi said back. "I couldn't imagine being in a position of power like you two. The pressure you must be under.."
"That's where vacations come in." Yahiko said, laughing.
More casual banter was exchanged before, for some reason (Kisame had to bite his tongue rather hard to keep from laughing) the two ladies started to feel a bit tipsy and thought they might go and sit down. The four men decided to continue re-meeting old friends soon after that, and meandered through the gymnasium.
Once he was sure Itachi could once again handle himself and wasn't going to consume any more of the punch, Kisame slipped away from the group as well, first to use the restroom and then just to stand against the walls next to the doors propped open and decorated heavily with cheap balloons and streamers in the school colors and people-watch.
Kisame wasn't normally one to contemplate things, from the meaning of the universe to simply thinking of and revisiting the past, trying to comprehend how things had turned out the way they are now. It was a funny thing though, to him. He wasn't so much an emotional soul... He felt things strongly yes, but didn't dwell on things. Simply flowing with the current of time, content, as known by now, to take the things that occurred within his life by stride. And now he couldn't help but just feel... proud, but not in such a smug manner. Complacent but gracious.
Optimistic would be a good word to describe the man, leaned agains the wall, arms crossed against his chest, supporting his weight on one foor, smiling softly. Time was a thing that dragged on and on and yet snuck by with the stealth of a shadow in a dark room. Three years, it had been now, since he'd finally started a relationship with Itachi. He'd never had any sort of relationship last that long, and despite being an optimist, he was a realist, too. The feeling wears off, eventually, that 'honeymoon stage' as some people called it. The excitement of being in a new relationship fades away without either party noticing and everything becomes normal, expected, taken for granted.
Waking up every day beside them is just a thing that happens, as much as breathing. Seeing them every day, their reactions, their way of thinking, becomes second nature, a second part of yourself, like a second personality inside your brain. The excitement goes away, habits form and become meaningless, a kiss goodbye for work, a hug hello when you return...
These things were facts, they were just things that happened as part of life, part of being human, and they weren't dissatisfieing to him because he wasn't one to ponder the deep, cosmic meanings behind every word and action.
But... Three years... In three years time these things happened, going through the motions each day... yet he was fully aware. And that's what struck him as funny. That beautiful devilish angel of a man was still there, still as interesting as ever though it had long ago come to the point where Kisame could always predict his thoughts and actions to a very close common denominator. He was familiar with it, it was the same, and yet it still intruiged him.
Life, quite simply, was good. And for some reason that was hilarious.
Because who would have thought? With all the terrible words that had been spewed toward him in those few years, people that had previously been nothing but pleasant turned into rabid dogs with fangs bared. With the opposite reaction, some people thought it was the most beautiful thing they'd ever seen, people who had no idea who he was, supporting him and making so many statements about his personality as if they had any idea. Itachi's warning even, his negative reactions to any attention at all given to them, sighing, hard glares, clenched teeth.
And none of it even mattered. Because Life was good.
He was snapped suddenly out of his thoughts as a loud screeching came over the mic and what he knew distinctly was Itachi's piercing whistle (He was the one who'd taught him how to do it) erupted into the air, echoing off the walls. The three men who'd been singing idley in the background were no longer on the stage, leaving only band in the background. And then on walked the Kid, that guitar slung over his back, pink eyes studiously scanning each and every face in the general vacinity. For a moment it almost looked as if he was pissed, then a sheepish grin broke out and he flipped off someone, probably Itachi, in the audience.
On stage again... Kisame laughed to himself. He sure did like attention didn't he?
Kakuzu and Hidan, oh God, if his life was humarous to him, theirs was hysterical. That kid, well, the Ocean-loving man didn't have any words to accuratley describe him. Though, in all fairness, referring to him as 'the kid' was not all that sensible anymore either. But, much like an Uncle would think of his nephew, Hidan San simply couldn't be anything else to him. despite all odds and even the occasional friendly bet here an there, he really had grown up, in a manner of speaking. Still swore like a sailer, had the same oblivious, dismissive, and obnoxious attitude and general personality as he had when they'd first met. And yet somehow he was a completley different person.
Of course he didn't know the details, Itachi was intently foused on trying to assure him that he had changed, and on so many levels he had. But really, people don't change, not at the core.
Music once again filled the gymnasium, and Hidan's voice bounced out over the chattering of those too consumed in their conversation to care about a change of music.
"Love me cancerously..." Hidan sang, and again Kisame laughed, not really even knowing why.
"Like a salt sore soaked in the sea. 'High maintenence' means; You're a gluttonous queen. Narcissistic and mean."
In three years the kid was still 'the kid' and yet no longer just a kid. Immature but in a way that seemed far more mature than anything. As he understood it he was now working to become not only Kakuzu's mere employee, but his understudy. Wanting to work alongside the man instead of just with him, and at the same time still casually attending to his own new persona, playing that guitar and singing around at social functions, managing two seperate lives, almost. He was Itachi's best friend, rebellious and carefree. He was Kakuzu's still secret lover, responsible and somehow possessing the intelligence it took to keep such a thing unknown right under the noses of society. And also still just 'the kid', batshit crazy and unpredictable even in his lucid moments.
"Kill me romantically! Fill my soul with vomit and ask me for a piiieeece of gum!"
No, he didn't know the details. He didn't know where he and Kakuzu stood, but he knew without a doupt that the old man, still his best friend aside from Itachi, seemed to still be commited to the relationship. Every time they met it was 'Hidan did this, and That idiot did that.' And on and on and on. Complaining and griping and yet always in a way that made Kisame roll his eyes for the fact that his eyes, always hard and calculating and piercing, shifted every single time.
"Bitter and dumb! You're my sugarplumb.
You're aweful... I love youu!"
When they were together, bickering and fighting, insult for insult. Snarling and barking and shouting and even restrained violence like two wild animals fighting over something that only they understood, neither willing to give up. But even during those times they looked at each other, glaring and hating to anyone else but communicating in some way even the master of human psycology, Itachi Uchiha, was unsure of labeling, despite recognizing it.
"Oooh. But HE moves through moonbeams slowly. HE knows just how to hold me. And when his edges soften, HIS body is my coffin!"
Like a convolouted game they played, intentional and yet natural at the same time. To anyone else they hated each other, even to themselves. The fighting was real, by all means, they were angry, restless, stubborn men, the both of them. That's why it worked, neither would let go, neither would give up, and that kept the thread there, strong and unyeilding. They fed off each other, why would they ever need anything else when they had this unending challenge right there?
"I know he drains me slowly. Well he wears me down to booones in beeed. Oooh it must be the sign on my heeaaaddd that Says 'LOVE ME DEAD!'"
It made sense. It made sense for them to be together. It made sense for them to not be together. It made sense that Kakuzu would pose himself as a mentor, guiding this poor lost soul, with the history that he had, back to where he should be. It made sense that the kid would both accept and reject it. 'I will be both, insane and sane. Good and bad. Upstanding and degenerate.' Whispers and rumors could float around and people could form their opinions, 'They're together' 'They're obviously not' because no matter what the two did it was real, and unquestionable, and it made sense. They didn't even have to pretend. And in this hilarious and demented way it was a very rare and interesting and beautiful thing.
"You're a faith-healer o-on T.V. You're an office park without any trees. Corporate and cold, GUSHING FOR GOLD! Leave me alone!"
Hidan's eyes suddenly focused on him, staying there, locked on with an intensity and some hidden message that snapped him from his thoughts and had him feeling instantly uncomfortable. Then that grin ripped it's way across his face and with a bit of squinting, Kisame realized he wasn't looking at him, he was looking directly next to him. And before that thought was processed his head snapped over, and he had to hold back the bubbling laughter that nearly exploded from his as he saw who he was looking at. Standing there with an expression that would certianly kill the kid right where he stood if mere looks could do such a thing.
So Kakuzu had shown up after all. But, he didn't seem to have noticed Kisame standing there where he was, and acting more on impulse than anything, he slipped around the small indention of the wall that jutted out just far enough for him to hide his hulking form. As long as Kakuzu didn't move from that spot, at least.
People had taken notice of Hidan's energetic singing, and the fact that he emphasized the fact that he was singing about a man so unmistakeably. There was an even mix of people stareing up at the albino, and other, more sober people who'd noticed his indiscreet stareing and followed it, thus staring at Kakuzu-Who looked almost as if he were about to burst a blood vessel.
"We SUCK so passionatley! Well I'm a parasitic psycho, filthy creature finger-banging your heart. I call you up drunk, 'Does the fun ever start?'
You're hideous... AND SEXY!"
An arm suddenly looped through his, making his heart skip a beat though he managed to remain calm outwardly. Without looking he knew who it was, but for safe measures he turned to see a very concerned Itachi stareing at Kakuzu.
Charcoal eyes flicked up to meet his and without words a mutual understanding was exchanged between them. Hidan was doing something stupid, in public. This happened a lot, but this was different. Kakuzu was always angry, always grouchy and unfriendly. But at the moment the man was so still and so tense, radiating fury in a way that almost made Kisame's imaginative mind able to physically see the air distorted around him from the pure heat of his rage.
Other patrons apparently could see it too, luckily for Hidan most of them were moderatley drunk, if not plastered by now. And if they understood why he was pissed, they didn't seem to show it. Like animals sensing an approaching storm, the crowd shifted and seemed to move away from him slowly. 'Seemed' being the key word, Kisame honestly had no idea what was happening at his point because he was busy watching his dear old friend as close as possible and also trying to figure out what the fucking hell Hidan was doing.
'Get the stick out of his ass.' More like get himself killed.
"Kisame..." Itachi said, quiet but still loud enough to hear over the music.
"Anyone want to tell me what the hell's going on?" Yahiko slurred suddenly, stumbling up next to them. "And why the girls just bolted back to the hotel as if someone told them there was a bomb?"
"He moves through moonbeams slowly! He knows just how to hold me!"
"Who is that man?" Nagato added, following closely and holding his liquor much better than his twin brother. "I don't remember him being a teacher, he's far too old to have been a student..."
"I'm sensing some pretty severe hostility. Are we about to witness something we shouldn't?"
Itachi looked between them, considering something very deeply. Kisame sighed in anxiety and also vauge relief. Right, as far as anyone else knew, they hated each other. Maybe the kid wasn't even singing to or at or about Kakuzu. These two didn't know anything about Hidan's involvement with this man, but the town knew that the associated together quite often. And those that did know would probably assume that Hidan had just done something incredibly stupid, as opposed to the incredibley stupid thing he was continueing to do.
"And when his edges soften.. His booody is myyy coffin."
He turned around, setting his hands gently on Itachi's tiny shoulders. "Angel, please tell me that the Dejavu I'm sensing is unrelated to the actual situation."
Still silent, the Uchiha's eyes regarded him for a moment, and then slowly opened wider, then wider, and even wider. They flicked from Kakuzu, who hadn't moved so much as to even blink, then to Hidan, no longer looking at Kakuzu and instead engrossing into acting out the lyrics of the song with dramatic and moving and the occasional vulgar gesture. Itachi and Kisame had come out after he'd performed on stage, changing up the lyrics to a song ever so slightly to undeniabley state that he and the younger man were involved. Then again they had never gone to the measures that Kakuzu and Hidan had to remain a secret. The kid wasn't using Kakuzu's name, wasn't doing anything other than implying, and for the people who knew Hidan, even that had only met him briefly, that could just be the idiot being an idiot or it could actually mean something.
"I know he drains me slowly. He wears me down to booones iiinnn beeeedddd. Ooooh must be the sign on myyyy HEEAAADDD! That says 'OOOOOOOHH LOVE ME DEAD!"
Regaining his composure as Hidan burst into a guitar solo,( which was strangley well coordinated with the song considering it usually required an electric guitar and the kid still just had his acoustic one) Itachi cleared his throat and turned back to the brothers, still anxiously awaiting explanations. "Hidan is just playing a very, very dangerous game." He explained, though eyeing them and waving in a combination that said he would explain in fuller detail later.
"Yeah, that's kind of obvious." Yahiko sighed back. "When is he ever not testing the limits of his mortality?"
"Who is that?" Nagato inquired again. "Why on Earth does he seem to want to kill Hidan? Really, acting that way... Especially in front of these people..."
Not nearly as many as had been at the party... Kisame couldn't help but think idley to himself. Not that it mattered, even if there were only one person here Kakuzu would still be just as furious.
"Doctor Hoku is... Hidan's manager. Simply speaking."
"You mean as a musician?"
"No. He is his actual boss. They work together. He's also sort of his 'keeper', as far as the law's concerned. A 'mentor?' I think they called it?" Itachi spoke quickly in a rambley and un-Itachi sort of way that was putting the eldest of the group extremley on edge. Granted, he was probably still very intoxicated, as it had only been a matter of minutes since he cut him off. But still...
"That still doesn't explain what's happening right now..."
"Indeed. You'd think as a mentor he would wait until Hidan wasn't at a public function with all these eyes on him to make whatever statement he's trying to make."
Itachi sighed sharpley. "I'll explain everything later." He dismissed. "Kisame... I don't know if we should get involved in this one or not."
Oh thank God. "You know what Angel, a hasty retreat sounds like a hell of a strategic move."
"Kakuzu is also Kisame's best friend." Itachi explained, "Kakuzu is Doctor Hoku. Kakuzu Hoku."
The brothers exchanged a look with each other. Hidan's guitar solo ended and he burst out into song again, "How's your new boy? Does he know about me? You've got the mark of a be-east! YOU'RE BORN OF A JACKAL! You're beautifuu-uuuuuuulll!" Then continued on into the chorus of the song at which point Kakuzu finally started forward, walking slowly in a way that made it seem as if he were perfectly calm again. Hidan eyed him the whole time, they looked back and forth at only each other as if they were the only things to exist in the universe.
"OooooOOOOOHHH
Lo-hooo-o-ove!"
Kakuzu steps up to the stage, standing just below Hidan, still belting out vocals with the reverberating volume only he of anyone Kisame knew, Even a furious Kakuzu, could do. Kisame, Itachi, and the Ame brothers all watched with as much focus as the four could muster between them, Itachi's nails digging into his lovers arm in the suspense. He didn't even feel it, he was far too busy dealing with picking between the two options he had at this point, running or staying.
"Mee-heeeeeeee!"
Still no words between them, only the conversations that existed purely between Kakuzu's unbreakable, intense deathglare and Hidan's micheviously amused expression.
DEAD!"
.
-o-
.
"The thing about life is that it doesn't like to make sense..."
Hidan sat on his couch, the lights in his apartment off, the only sounds to break through the silence were those from outside and the steady ticking of the the yellowed blinds of his windows shone the remnants of the streetlamp that made it from the street to that very window facing out against the alley through possibley the power of Will alone.
"The thing about life... is that it will try to kill you at every chance it gets. And I'm not talking about random circumstance, I'm not just talking about sudden death. It will pick of pieces of you, peeling off layer after layer, chipping off one tiny grain of sand at a time. It will mouuld you and shape you into something you didn't realize you were becoming. It will take that realization and shove it into a mirror and hold it constantly in front of your face every second of the day until you feel completley stripped of every ounce of power you have."
In his hands was a newpaper, just published today. He wasn't normally one to buy newspapers, but they were dilivered to the clinic free of charge as a 'gift' from the city (A.k.a. the taxpayers of the town, but whatever they cost a damn nickle.) Kakuzu liked to read them, because he was wise and practiced and liked to know what was going on in the town even if he never spoke or did anything about it. But Hidan usually didn't. Most of the town didn't care about him, and he didn't care to put forth the effort to pretend he did either. But today, he'd had to stop and grab it after a name caught his eye. He'd dropped the damn thing in his haste and the pages went everywhere, and after scooping them all back up he'd used the entire lunch hour scanning over every article, every advertisement, trying to find the one he'd glimpsed just a second ago.
"The thing about life is that you don't always die when it kills you... And if you're confused, revert back to the very first thing I said when I stepped up on this fucking stage. Keep up with me here, I'm not as young as you guys anymore I can't keep fucking repeating myself." He moved with jerky hand movements of dismissal and annoyance that the moderatley small cluster of teens seemed to find funny. He grinned that grin at them, just scanning for a moment, still wondering to himself what the hell would ever possess him to do something like this.
He found it finally, under the obituatries. One, small little square barely big enough for him to fit his thumb inside, that was the thing that he'd seen, out of all these millions of words, he'd seen it. And as he read the single line over and over again, unsure at the moment of how to even feel the mass amount of emotions fighting to be noticed within him, his fists clenched, and he felt something as plain as breaking a finger, break somehwere inside him.
'Asuma Sarutobi - age 46 - beloved husband and father finally gives in to the fight against cancer and passes peacefully in his sleep.'
"And it hurts. You think it hurts when your best friend calls you a whore behind your back? You think it hurts when you break up with your boyfriend? Not just chicks, guys too. I don't fucking know what hurts you because you're probably all assholes anyway..." He paused for a moment as they laughed again briefly, before they noticed that his serious expression wasn't changing. "That's nothing compared to when life kills you, because it's not a sudden break, it's just the very last cord snapping, the very last chop to a big tree. Life kills you slowly and methodically and you can't do shit about it because you don't know it's happening, even if you think you do, you don't. But theres a thing about that too. The thing is, when you don't die, it means something. There's no goddamn cosmic force out there trying to communicate to you, God's too busy to deal with your petty shit so don't even go there. It's just one simple fucking thing, takes forever to figure out but when you do you feel like a dumbass for the next ten years..." More laughter, at least they were listening. The principal seemed to think it was going well, judging by the nod she gave him when he glanced to her. And Kakuzu, over on the other side standing only where Hidan could see him, was also listening very intently. His face was impassive and stoic as ever, but by now Hidan could read his expression when there wasn't even one, it had only been twelve years now.
Then he'd been back at his old apartments. Someone had long moved in to the one he and Itachi used to share, but that didn't concern him any. He slipped around the big evergreen on the side of the building opposite the driveway and tiptoe'd to the back, peeking around the corner of the building, into the patio door. Inside sat the bitch that had gotten him arrested, laying on the couch in a way that almost made her look as if she were a dead body. Her eyes stared unfocused up at the ceiling, every muscle limp and unmoveing. Except for thenearly unnoticable rise and fall of her chest, Hidan might have actually thought she were dead. Her child, a toddler now, sat on the carpet in front of the coffee table, switching back and forth between trying to force a square peg into a round hole and watching the television, angled away so Hidan couldn't see what was playing. Asuma had stayed strong, lasted for 2 entire years battling against that virus inside him, the one that had turned him from a normal, healthy human to a walking corpse in a manner of weeks. Hidan couldn't believe in any universe that the man had simply 'gone peacefully in his sleep'. His wife was an evil harpie bitch, but he didn't stick around to witness that scene anymore.
He thought to himself, he'd probably rather look at the corpse.
"It's the same shit that every arrogant dumbass and every ignorant little shitter says to you. You just can't give up. And I'm not saying that even as motivational, I'm saying you really can't fucking give up. You can't. I know, I tried, dozens of times. It won't work, so don't even fucking go there.
Everyone will comfort you and feed you all kinds of sweet little nothings in your ear. 'Everything happens for a reason', that's my fucking favorite, what a load of shit. Life is random, life is a little bored sadistic child and you're it's toy, it's not fucking contemplating how it's going to affect your life by shoving your head in the mud, it's just doing it because it's fun to watch you squirm. Shit doesn't happen for a reason, but every single damn thing that happens, everything you survive, because a part of your arsenal, and your armor. And the next time that bitch shoves your head in the mud you can take it like a fucking man and then get up and walk away. The kid gets bored and finds another way to torture you, not much of a fucking victory, but a victory none-the-less."
And now, in his dark apartment, alone, he sat, holding that newspaper, with the image of the nearly lifeless body of a dead man's wife laying on the couch, and a dead man's child playing on the floor, blissfully unaware, burned into his mind. They would move away, he knew somehow instictivley, just like he knew everything she was feeling just from the look of absoloute nothingness seeping from the womans eyes. They would move away and there was nothing he would ever be able to do, as a person, for that kid or for that woman. He saw the pain in their future like a movie playing before his eyes, he knew what that kid would go through because he knew that his mother had given up and he was as good as an orphan now.
But, Hidan himself was a shining example of what could become of someone like that. He was an example any way you looked at it, he had the experience of dealing with any result that came of any reaction one made to that reaction. And again something snapped, with a twang and an echo, and he suddenly realized that it wasn't enough. Nothing he was doing was enough. Nothing he could ever do was enough but what he was doing right now... what the hell was he even doing right now?!
"With every victory you gain some knowledge to handle the next one that comes at you. You learn what works and what doesn't. You learn how much you can handle and you learn who will help you out when you can't handle anymore. You kids, you're gonna be my age before any of this sinks in. Trust me, I was just like you not so long ago. I didn't give a shit, If I were you listening to the guy standing here talking to you now, I'd fucking laugh in his face. I know you're not listening, no all of you. And you know what, you'll fuckin figure it out. Life hasn't dug you outta the toy box yet but she fucking will. But some of you, I can see just looking at your faces you've been in the mud since birth. You're the fuckers listening, and you're the fuckers I'm talking to. This is the advice I'm giving you and if you get confused, once again, dig back through your memory and remember the first fuckin thing I said."
With the sudden determination he'd always had the luck to possess, he ripped the pack of cigarettes from his pocket and crushed them in his hand, throwing them across the room as hard as they could. It wasn't enough, he wasn't doing anything. He was still whining and crying even though he had more than enough means to do something.
"Fuck it." He said, grabbing his coffee table, a cheap hunk of fake wood glued together, and threw it too.
"FUCK IT!" He shrilled, starting into a chuckle that escalated until he was laughing hysterically like a madman, destroying his apartment and all of his possessions.
"Fuck it." He said now, pausing to grin at all the faces contorted in confusion, all the brows risen now and the punk kids stareing at him as if he were the dumbest fucker on earth.
"Just... fuck it." He said nonchalantly, shrugging his shoulders and pausing again. "You're all gonna interperet that in a different way. There's no way to explain it to you. It's like I said, you're gonna spend what feels like forever figuring it out, and when you do... fuck it. A friend of mine said it a different way, 'Follow your arrow.' Her's is probably a little more friendly as far as language goes but you know what, just fuuuuck iiiit." As this point he stepped away from the podium, waving at them with both arms as if to push the entire audience away. Then he lunged back, slamming both hands on it and leaning forward.
"You get an idea in your head. Do it. Fuck it. Just don't fuck with other peoples lives. You see something you want, get it. Fuck it. Just don't fuck with other peoples shit. Anything you want to fucking do, just fucking do it, as long as the direct result isn't going to dunk anyone else's head in the mud. Get it? Follow your arrow, Fuck it. You are never going to know where you want to be until you get there, and you're never going to figure out how to get there, so fuck it. Keep going till you find it.
And most importantly, If you hear nothing else that I've fucking said today, pay attention. Because here it is. Your problems are your fucking fault. The second you go blaming how you feel or where you are or what you're doing on other people, you're giving up, and probably you should just go kill yourself."
The principal cleared her throat, Hidan only held a hand out to her. "Shut up bitch I'm preeching wisdom here." Another round of laughter, dark glares from the principal. "This is reality. Sappy sayings and shit are nothing more than sappy sayings unless you're going to fucking utilize them. That's about all I can give to you guys. 95% of you are assholes, just like I was. You're going to walk away thinking 'this dick doesn't know anything about me.' And you lot can go fuck yourselves because I don't care. You're not going to listen no matter what, and I don't say that out of spite I say that out of experience. So fuck it. But the rest of you, I'm not kidding around, I'm not spitting out jargon and shit, and I'm certianly not here because of some campaign or some shit or even of my own concious.
I've been told many times that I have this way about me that makes people stop and look. And they one of two things. 'He's a fucking lunatic,' or 'He's a fucking genious.' Honestly I think they're out of their minds, it doesn't take an ounce of intelligence to understand. But regardless, that's a strength of mine. And I'm using it. Nothing more, nothing less. Listen or don't, because fuck it. It's your goddamn life, I finally got mine figured out. I'm done." He paused for a moment, crossing his arms across his chest, halfway glaring at the eyes glued to him. He turned to look at Kakuzu, still there, standing in absoloute stillness and silence, making no reaction at all to this speech.
"So I'm gonna go back to school."
"What?"
"Yeah, online. Ain't technology the shit?"
"Hidan what are you-"
"I had this idea, you know, I'm not gonna settle anymore."
"...Settle?"
"Yeah. I always had this dumb idea in my head that I'd never really amount to anything you know. And I seen that my old neighbor finally shit the brick. And I saw that dumb bitch who got me arressted and his kid, just sitting in there. And it really bugged me. And I realized that this fucker I hardley even knew was having this huge impact on my life, but it sucks that he had to die in order to do it."
"Can I at least finish this form before you start your blabbering? Moving an entire doctor's clinic to a new building isn't exactly something that can be done while halfway paying attention."
"Yeah, yeah Old man just listen for a sec. See I realized that, and I realized all the times I'd tried to die, and couldn't. So here's the thing, I'm not going to fucking settle anymore until I'm dead. Fuck it, Kakuzu. I'm gonna just keep going. It makes so much sense, I feel like an idiot."
"I'm glad you've finally accepted it. Now shut your trap."
"...Well... anyway... My and Itachi's class reunion is this Friday. I want you to come, I'm gonna play a song."
"Whatever will get you to shut up, Hidan."
-o-
Itachi squealed when it happened, damn that alchohol. Those two sat there stareing at each other, Hidan on that stage, placing him 4 feet taller than Kakuzu. Kisame's chest kind of twisted tight as Hidan suddenly shifted, and he rolled his eyes and turned away to go get himself some punch.
Kakuzu's voice boomed for a second after the song ended and the band stopped playing to also stare at the two. "What the hell do you think-"
And in that second Hidan lunged forward, tackleing the man to the ground. Kisame winced, Itachi squealed, the Ame brothers mouths dropped open in shocked silence. The entire crowd seemed to gasp simultaneously when the doctor and the degenerates mouths pressed together, Hidan straddled across and pinning the older man to the ground.
The moment lasted forever, those two just laying there, even the old man himself seemed to be at a loss for anything to do. When they finally broke apart, Hidan looked up, his eyes wild and excited and challenging, meeting each persons stunned gaze.
"What the FUCK you gonna do about it!?" He snarled, then kissed him again.
-o-
He looked back out at the gathering of teenagers, and then chuckled. "I'm getting married to a doctor. He's twice my age and the biggest asshole you'll ever meet but I'm gonna fuckin' marry him. Because I want to." He said then, sending everyone in the gymnasium into full-confusion. "He doesn't know it but it's going to happen. Because fuck it. Just wanted you to know that.
Follow Your Arrow.
Fuck it.
I don't give a goddamn what you do but that's about all I have to fuckin say."
With that he waved and started walking off to the side of the stage, grinning that same grin at Kakuzu, whore glared the usual glare in return.
"That was unneccesary." He ground out when Hidan stopped in front of him, chest to chest, smirking as if he'd just done the most clever thing in the world.
"Tch." He rolled his pigmentless eyes, pushed to his tip-toes and gave him a peck, and then side-steped him.
"Thats a fucking proposal is what that was, you old bastard."
-o-
A/N-
OKAY SO YEAH SHIT! Couldn't figure where to end that at. Idea's kept popping into this brain of mine. Warning; I'm posting this immediatly because it took me goddamn forever to write this monster and I've alredy started on another short multi-chapter that I'm kind of excited about. It's called 'Black and White', another modern Realistic AU. This first chapter will probably be up shortly so go check it out. Shameless advertising, don't care.
Anyway what I'm saying is I'm posting this without any sort of proofreading or anything at all. So typo city. Fuck it. xD
The song from last chapter that Hidan sang in jail was 'Only human' by Christina Perri. Sorry for forgetting to post it. I'm surprised I didn't get a warning. The one he sang in this chapter is called 'Love me Dead' by Ludo. (Ludo happens to be one of my favorite bands which of course leads me to commit more shameless promoting. Sorry, not sorry)
SO ANYWAY I HOPE EVERYONE IS HAPPY WITH THAT ENDING! It's a happy one, hopefully satisfying too. If not, that sucks. I guess you can go write your own. LOLJKILOVEYOU!
Alriiight. I'm gonna skedaddle out of here now cuz the batteries in my keyboard are dying and its frustrating as fuck so I gotta go get more.
I love you all for reading, even you newcomers that just stumbled upon it now that it's finished. :3 I love reviews and everything but I know half of you choose not to leave them. I respect you bro, doesn't mean I'm happy about it. Fogive the typos eventually they will be fixed but for now just roll your eyes and keep reading hehe.
Toodles guys!