Love, Kaidan

by FireLordFrowny

The Reapers are gone. And perhaps it was a long time coming, but so is Commander Shepard. In the wake of all this monumental grief, and as humankind struggles to rebuild, Kaidan can't bring himself to accept that Shepard is gone for good this time. So Kaidan writes to him anyways.

2. 2

Shepard.

Things are rough.

Joker lost his whole family. Edi tried to comfort him and said some awkward AI things that only made it worse, if you can imagine that. I didn't know what to say to him at all. I think I understood that there was nothing to say. It's awful, watching all of this. Watching soldiers come home to bad the worst news of their lives. Everyone thinks they're prepared for it - they get here expecting to find that people they love are gone forever, but the anguish hits them hard like they never saw it coming. I feel like hell, knowing that despite what we all fought for - what you died for - nothing can ever truly fix the damage done to our people.

Rebuilding seems impossible. No one even wants to think about it just yet. The smoke still hasn't even settled. Things are still burning. People are still dying - illness, injuries… suicides… I've never seen anything so thoroughly broken as our world is right now.

I feel like I'll die if I try to properly comprehend all this grief. It's hard enough to live with my own pain. But seeing everyone - literally everyone around me going through the same anguish… knowing that our grief is shared across solar systems… just thinking about it opens up this chasm in me, wide enough to swallow up the whole galaxy.

Still, I try to be a leader. I think it's what you would do, if you were here. I heard about what happened on the Citadel after the Crucible didn't fire. They say you were already dying by then. But Hackett radioed you. And you said, "What do you need me to do?"

And then you did it.

And you saved us all.

So who am I to give up now?

There's something that needs to be done, and I struggle to find the resolve to do it, but I do do it.

For you.

For humanity, yes, but mostly for you. After all - at this point, "Shepard" and "Humanity" sort of mean the same thing. Something strong. Something resilient. And eternal.

With every breath we take, I remember you.

I miss you.

Love,

-Kaidan.