Beginning Notes: Drabble 3 of 3 28/07/14. Sorry about the late posting today.

A badly-knitted word. The first of two drabbles using this word.

badly-knitted when I saw 'Everything Changes' I was utterly shocked, it showed Owen as a date rapist and yet managed to make Gwen the least likable character. Seriously when I hear everyone up in arms about fox hunting and the such my first thought is usually well replace the foxes with rapists and paedophiles. We'll get rid of the scum of the Earth, the fox hunters get to hunt something and no foxes die, everybody's happy.

I first thought that the first episode would be introducing Torchwood to the audience via the outsider prospective, which was interesting and very exciting. The outsider blundering in on something they don't know about, something they can't understand and making the situation worse through sheer ignorance, but imagine my disappointment when I found out that the outsider was going to be part of the main cast. And as a 'Audience Surrogate' and 'Author Avatar' combined into one as well. I hate 'Audience Surrogate' characters, that is a breakdown of the relationship between a content creator and the content consumer; it is basically a content creator telling the content consumers that either the consumers are a bunch of drooling idiots or that the creator lack the skill to engage the consumers and put them into a state of suspended disbelief. And while 'Author Avatars' have a bad reputation (especially in the Fanfiction community), but a good 'Author Avatar' is enjoyable, however such a character has no place in television where there is a rotating door of content creators who have to deal with this blank slate/inconsistent character.

Title: Not The Intended Use

Author: Daashi

Fandom: Torchwood

Characters: Jack Harkness, Ianto Jones

Pairings: n/a (this is definitely a pre-Jack/Ianto drabble)

Rating: 13+

Genre: Drabble, Humour

Warnings: References to sex toys.

"Sir, saying that you are a pig and live in a pig-sty would be an insult to pigs and their lifestyles of choice."

"That's not fair Ianto."

"I've have here in this box a bunch of objects that were found in your quarters, objects that I am pretty sure are not of present Terrestrial make."

"They're harmless."

"They need to properly archived, weather or not they are harmless. What is this?"

"It is a shoehorn."

"That is not a shoehorn. And from the look you're giving me, I am thinking I should have put on gloves before picking this up."

"Hey, I clean everything after my personal use."

"Considering the state of your little cubby-hole, I doubt at how thoroughly you actually clean things."

"Hey where are you going?"

"To disinfect my hands and grab a box of latex gloves. Those objects still need to be archived.

"And how are you going to archived these objects?"

"With notes that state that despite being safe for human skin contact these objects should be handled with gloves and that one Captain Jack Harkness should never be allowed alone with such suggestively shaped objects."

~End

Word: Shoehorn

shoe - horn (noun) : a shaped piece of horn, metal, or the like, inserted in the heel of a shoe to make it slip on more easily