"Wh-what's going on here?!"

My mother's voice woke me up harshly the next morning, and Lindsey was already scrambling out of the bed to grab her clothes.

"Mom?!" I said, pulling up the blanket. "What-Why are you home?"

"Holy shit, I'm so sorry," Lindsey said, almost fully clothed.

My mother ignored her. "I don't think that's the question that needs to be answered right now, Tegan."

"I'm gonna go," Lindsey said, and I felt panicked.

"Wait!" I said. "Don't go yet!"

"No, you should get out of my house right now," my mother almost growled. I've never heard her sound like that.

"Honey?" My dad's voice called from down the hall. "Is Tegan okay?"

"Just wait out there, sweetheart!" my mother called back before turning to Lindsey. "You will leave. You will NOT come back."

Lindsey looked at me, and I knew she would leave. I couldn't blame her. This was a lot more than she had signed up for. I just hoped that this wouldn't end things between us. We'd just had our first night together...

"I'll ca-" she started to say, but my mother attempted to melt her with her eyes. "Good luck, Tegan."

She walked out of my room, and my mother turned to me. Neither of us said anything for a long minute. Finally, tears started to run down her cheeks, and I couldn't look her in the eye. All I could see was disappointment.

"Why?" she said, her voice thick. "Why would you do this?"

"Because I love her," I said, and my mother looked shocked.

"What are you talking about? How long has this been going on?"

"Mom, can I please just put some clothes on-"

"How. Long." She said, talking over me.

"Half a year or so with her. A few years with girls in general. Secretly forever." There was no point in lying about it now.

"Why didn't you ever tell us? We could have prayed about it."

I shook my head. "This isn't something that I can change about myself, Mom. I'm sorry."

My mother looked at me for a second more before walking out of my room. I took that moment to quickly throw on some clothes while my mom told my dad what had happened. He marched into the room a second later, furious.

"Tell me that your mother misunderstood what you were saying," he said, getting madder than I'd ever seen him. I loved my mom, but my dad and I were closer. He was always proud of me and always supported me when my mom would be hard on me. This time was going to be different, though. He wasn't going to be on my side this time.

"Dad, I wanted to tell you. I've almost told you how I was feeling a thousand times, but I was afraid that you wouldn't accept me."

He sighed. "Tegan, I do accept you, but this isn't you. This is a defect. At the seminar-"

"Why did you leave?" I asked.

"We were coming home to see you," my mother said. "We felt guilty for leaving you right after graduation. We didn't think we had to worry about trusting you."

"Your mother and I need to discuss this," my dad said, looking away from me.

"Dad, I'm sorry," I said. "I wish I could change. I really, really do, but this is who I am."

"Stay here," he said, walking out of the room without another word. My mother followed him. I sat on my bed and tried not to cry. I'd imagined telling my parents about this before. I'd imagined that they would be upset. I'd also not expected them to find out like this...I just hadn't expected them both to look so...disgusted. Like I wasn't me anymore because I wasn't the good little straight girl they'd raised me to be.

I couldn't help but think that they were probably regretting the day they signed the adoption papers. If they'd only been able to have one of their own, they wouldn't have had to take in the defected baby. They probably felt I was a punishment from God at this point...I hoped my panic was just making me assume the worst.

I had no idea what they were going to do to me. Would they make me go to school in a more conservative area? Would they make me stay close to home? Would they start making plans to marry me off to some nice Christian boy?

They walked back into the room, and I felt my heart start racing even faster than it had been.

"Tegan..." My father tried to put a sentence together, but he was having trouble. My mom put her hand on his shoulder, and he took a deep breathe. "We love you."

I smiled. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad after all. "I love you guys, too."

"We are not going to turn our backs on you unless you turn your back on yourself."

I frowned. "What does that mean?"

"You have two options. There is a program that your mother knows about that deals with...this problem. One of her friends used it for her son, and he's cured now."

"Wait, cured?" I asked, trying to put the pieces together...while also avoiding what I didn't want it to be.

"He was like you," my mom said. "He had sick thoughts, and the camp-"

"Camp?" I said. "Is this...please tell me you aren't sending me away." My dad stepped forward, but I stood up and walked farther away.

"Tegan this is what's best for you. These places know how to help you get better. Help you be normal."

"I don't care about being normal," I said. "What's the other option?"

"What?" My dad asked.

"You said there were two options."

My dad shook his head, and my mother spoke up.

"If you refuse to go, then we're done. You can't live here. We won't pay for your school. We won't pay for a place for you to live. We won't..." My mother swallowed around the lump in her throat. "We want you to come home, more than anything, but we can't support you if you insist on living in sin."

I felt dizzy. Of all the things I could have thought of, this would have been damn near dead last. I knew that my parents would hate it, but I didn't think they would hate me.

"Mom, Dad, you have to think about this. I just graduated from high school. My life...it's just starting. I'm your daughter, for Christ's sake!"

"You will NOT use the Lord's name, and you will do as we say or you WILL leave and never speak to us again!"

The room was silent for a few moments. I finally shook my head.

"Fine, then I'll leave."

I ran past my parents and out of the house. I heard my dad call after me, but I ignored him. It wasn't like I'd be talking to them much anyway. At least not until they got used to this.

I walked. At first, I didn't have much of a direction, but I knew that eventually, I'd end up at Lindsey's place. Once she knew what my parents were trying to do, she'd let me stay with her until I found a job and figured things out.

I got to her apartment and knocked on the door. She answered with a smile, but her face immediately dropped when she saw it was me.

"Tegan," she said, shocked. "What're you doing here?"

"My parents are freaking out about everything!"

She shushed me. "I know that, but I figured we'd just lay low until they calmed down or stopped caring or you moved out. I was going to call you later."

She seemed like she was trying to hurry me off, but I needed her. I made a mental note to apologize later.

"No, this isn't normal freaking out. This is, 'We're shipping you off to pray-away-the-gay camp' freaking out."

Lindsey's eyes went wide. "Oh my God, are you okay?"

"I'm fine, I just...I need to stay with you for a while." Lindsey tried to jump in, but I kept going. "I'm not trying to move in or anything. I just don't really have anywhere else to stay. I'd leave as soon as I can-"

"Tegan, you can't stay here," she said, and I felt like she'd slapped me in the face.

"What? Can't we just talk about this?" I tried to go into her apartment, but she blocked my way. "What the hell is going on?"

"You can't go in there," she said, looking at the floor. "My boyfriend is still in bed."

Another kick to the stomach.

"You have a..." I couldn't even say it.

"I should have told you from the beginning," she said. "I just wasn't expecting this with you, okay? I really have never been with a woman. I never thought we'd be anything more than some flirting here and there, but then things got more serious, and the time to tell you about everything sort of just passed."

"So you just didn't say anything at all?" I asked, angrily. "You just kept lying to me...and him?"

"We have an open relationship, as long as we both come home to each other."

"What about last night?" I asked. "You didn't come home, then."

"He knew where I was. He doesn't know the details, but he knew I was out with someone else."

I shut my eyes tight. "You said you loved me. You touched me, and you told me that you loved me."

"I do love you, Tegan. I care about you so much, and you're the only woman I ever see myself with, but let's be honest. You were leaving for school, and I was staying here. It was only a matter of time-"

"So you love me, and you care about me, but you aren't in love with me," I said, defeated.

"Oh, sweetheart, did you think..." She sighed. "Sometimes I forget how young you are."

She reached out to put her hand on my shoulder, and I pushed it away.

"Don't do that. Don't touch me."

"Trust me, when you're older, you'll understand that love isn't quite as simple as we're told it is when we're kids. This will get easier. Eventually, you realize that not everyone has to be your soul mate. I wish I could help you with your parents, though, but I don't know if there's anything I can do." She looked back inside the house. "I'm sorry, but you have to go. He and I have a strict rule to keep 'us' time about us. If he sees you, he won't be happy."

"I..." I couldn't even speak.

She kissed my forehead. "I'm so sorry, Tegan. You didn't deserve this." With that, she went back inside of her house.

I just stared at the door in disbelief. I couldn't believe that this day was true. Not long ago, the girl in front of me had been holding me in her arms, and now, she has a boyfriend. My parents and I had normal parent/teenager problems, and now they were sending me away to get brainwashed.

What the hell was I going to do? I didn't really have any family around here that wouldn't turn their backs on me for being gay. I had friends, but not the type I could move in with. Lindsey had been my sure bet...but now that was over, and I felt broken.

I just needed to get away. Away from this place and my parents and fucking Lindsey. I needed to get through college, so I didn't have to live a lie anymore...I needed my parents to be able to do any of that.

I figured...it was better to pretend to want to change and have my parents financial support. I could fake it for them, then come out once I didn't need them anymore. Besides, it was only for the summer. It wasn't like I really had anyone I wanted to spend that time with, now. It would be incredibly hard listening to the bullshit they would be spewing, but it was better than the alternative.

I was back at home faster than I thought I would be. My mother and father were waiting for me when I walked in the door.

"What do you have to say for yourself?" my dad spat at me, still refusing to look at my face.

"Okay," I said. "I'll go."