I am extremely sorry, I got the message from IDA you all probably saw. Mask is right, nothing makes nickels. (Get it? I'm sorry) I hope this helps.

"So that's how all this happened… You started in IDA's AU, and got turned into… You by the BLU Medic. Some random crap happened at their Teufort, you died, and respawned with us. Huh."

"Yup, then we stopped a train, threw a helicopter into space, broke reality, fought robots, and I destroyed everything with overcharging my Medigun to over nine thousand."

"I also have to apologize for something… I never introduced you to anyone…"

"It's fine, I didn't expect you to ever introduce me to them at all. I just dropped right in, y'know, through a universe just to get here."

"Okay! Jeez man, it isn't that bad, come on! Anyway, these guys are my friends, and not all of them get along, as you noticed, presumably."

"That's an understatement if I ever heard one!"

"Yeah… Anyway, I'll go in the order I met them… So, King Dworf, the Sniper, he's rather reserved, as you know, next up, is Shadow Bomb, the Soldier. He has a decent temper, until something scares him. Oakly is the scout, and he's calm, but he's extremely open."

"Yeah, Shadow is rather… Hostile. I haven't talked with Oakly yet, and I might not get the chance either, with you guys having to go home."

"Whatever, I control this place, what says I can't contact you again?"

"Logic."

"Hah! Good one! If I run this place, logic will never have a home here! Anyway, Wolf Star, the Demoman, he makes jokes, he's quite friendly to everyone. Shmalien, the Spy, he's calm, usually. Next up is RexDoesStuff, the other Medic. He's a good person to go to, if you have something to complain about!"

"I'd probably talk his ear off then."

"It can't be that bad!" He pulls off his glasses and cleans them on his shirt.

"It might be."

"Agh, seriously, I know most of your problems. Macspengo, the taller Engineer, is definitely outgoing, with his usual demeanor of 'let's see if this works!' Catbread the Heavy, well… He doesn't talk much. Spartan Recon, the other Engineer, well, I haven't talked to him for a long time."

"You're missing one person here."

"Me? Well, glean what you can, as I'm the one who made this place."

"So, you're violent, creative, outgoing-"

"Please stop."

"Just complimenting you, man!"

"Thanks… Well, I guess our time together is running out…" He grabs his phone, and starts typing. "You now have a way to contact me. Use Skype if you have to."

"Ok. Bonesaws! Create a portal to the real world!" Several bonesaws flew out from behind the chair I'm sitting on, and created a circle, and spun. In the middle was a swirly green vortex.

"HEY GUYS! WE CAN GO HOME NOW!"

They all came running to the cab of the engine, and they all dived through the swirly green depths, except one. Mac.

"Why aren't you going through the portal?" He took his hard hat off, and dropped it to the floor.

"I don't live in their universe, I live in mine. If you could please?"

"Okay… Bonesaws, create a portal to Macspengo's AU!" The bonesaws didn't stop spinning, the portal just turned purple. "Best of luck."

"I doubt I need it."

"Why?"

"I own the place! Who needs physics, or luck, when you control everything!"

"Yeah… Get going! I have somewhere to be as well!" He dived in, and the portal broke, the vortex disappearing, the bonesaws fading away.

"My turn. Create a portal to PROJECT FREAK!" This portal was made of Übersaws, and flashed orange. "Here goes nothing!"

Ever know what it's like to be sucked through a straw? Yeah… AU travel is interesting.

"Oh my god…" I was looking right at the ruins of the RED base.