"Oh, right there. Faster, baby."

Heather was fucking Tina.

Heather was fucking a girl.

I was frozen for a second, afraid that if I moved I would get caught, but more and more afraid that staying still was worse. I slowly...so slowly...backed out of the tent and pulled the zipper shut. I looked around, panicked that someone was watching me, and that would somehow lead to me getting in trouble. No one was even out of their tents, but I was afraid someone would see me anyway, and think I was trying to sneak out of my tent...at the very least.

I started stomping toward Heather's tent. I crushed as many sticks and seeds as I could.

"Heather! Sorry to bother you!" I was right outside now, pretending to have trouble with the zipper of her tent. "Are you awake?"

I could hear Heather and Tina shuffling around inside, and I couldn't help the small laugh that bubbled up in my throat. This was fucking crazy.

"Hold on, Tegan!" she yelled. "I'll come out!"

"With Tina?!" I asked, shocked, before my brain caught up with my mouth. I cursed her choice of words and let out a few noises that almost sounded like words before managing, "I mean...you guys are sharing a tent, right?"

Heather finally unzipped her tent and stepped out, quickly zipping it back up behind her. "Yeah, but she's reading."

"Reading what?" I asked with a smile. Heather was a mess. Her shorts were on crooked, her shirt looked like it was inside-out, and her hair was thrown in a messy ponytail that was so obviously trying to hide her "I just had a woman's legs around my head" hair.

"I don't quite know," she said. "I never asked."

"You've never noticed, either?"

"What did you need, Tegan?"

I shook my head and focused. I was here for a reason. "Do you have any pain killers? Sara's got a really bad headache."

Heather nodded and reached into her tent. She pushed two pills into my hand. "Was there anything else?"

I shook my head and turned away before she caught my smirk. She was rushing me off so she could go back to fucking.

"You have a good night, Heather," I said over my shoulder, walking away as she went back into her tent. God, I wished that I'd thought to take a picture or have a witness or something, because I wanted to out her. I wanted some solid evidence to pin on her. She had the nerve to spew this camp's conversion crap and screw girls on the side? I knew nothing would come of it, though, unless I had proof.

It was so strange how these people inspired such hate in me at times. It was the blatant manipulation that bothered me. The subtle and not-so-subtle ways they tried to bend us into who they wanted us to be. It was so much harder to tell when you were getting used and broken when there weren't bruises to go along with it. It started to make you feel like you were the one who was wrong...

Until you regained your senses and realized they were even bigger assholes than you thought.

I debated if I should tell Sara. At first, she'd been the first and only person I'd wanted to tell. Then I worried that this would freak her out, and she didn't need that with her head killing her the way it was. If I was going to tell her, it wouldn't be tonight.

I crawled back into my tent, and Sara was crying. I immediately forgot all thoughts of Heather and grabbed a water bottle, then helped her sit up. I handed her the pills, and she popped them into her mouth and swallowed them with a drink from the bottle.

"Are you okay?" I asked her. "Do I need to get someone?"

"No, it's not that bad. I'm just working myself up. I'm so tired, but it hurts too much to sleep."

Her tears had slowed down, but they were still falling down her face. I laid her down on her back.

"The pills will kick in," I said. "Just try to relax, okay?"

"I can't," she said. I believed her. I could feel and see how tense she was. I knew if she couldn't relax, it would only get worse.

"Can I try something?" I asked her.

"Anything," she responded. "Just make it stop."

I lightly kissed her lips. I then slid down to her neck. I unbuttoned her pajama top, and felt her breath hitch.

"Is this okay?" I asked. "You just need to relax, and I know that sex can help with headaches. I'm just trying to help."

"Yes. If it'll help, then do it. Please." I smiled in excitement, happy that she was letting me do this again. I finished unbuttoning her top, and I kissed the middle of her chest. She was already squirming, and she started pushing down on my shoulders again.

"Sara, wait," I said. "I'm just trying to warm you up."

"I'm already warm," she said. "I need to sleep."

I sighed. "Fine." I started sliding down her body. I slid down her sleep shorts and felt my mouth water as I looked at her. How was she already this wet? I went to dive straight in, but she stopped me right before.

"I'm sorry that I'm rushing you. I'm in so much pain. I promise to let you touch me more next time."

I was shocked. "I...why?" I shook my head a little. "I mean, thank you, but why?"

"You help me so much," she said. "I can be there for you, too, sometimes."

I bit my lip to keep myself from smiling too big, and then took a long lick up the length of her lips. She moaned and threw her hand over her mouth. I licked up and down like that a few more times before flicking my tongue over her clit. Her hands were in my hair, and I moaned. I loved it when she did that, and it just made me move my tongue faster. I slipped my tongue down, and started rubbing circles around her clit with my thumb. I pushed inside of her with the tip of my tongue.

"Shit..." I heard from under her hand. Her hips started rolling, and I moved my tongue in and out of her with guidance from her. One of her hands left my head, and I wondered where it had gone. It made me realize that my eyes were closed. I opened them, wanting to see her.

The first thing I noticed was the way her hand was tugging at her nipple. It just made my hand move faster against her. I pushed my own hips into the ground, looking for some sort of release. She was driving me crazy.

My eyes drifted up, and I was shocked to see that she was watching me. She'd propped her head up with pillows so she could see me. It took a second for her to even realize that I was looking back. We looked at each other, and she bit her lip before speaking.

"Touch...touch yourself, Tegan."

She could literally get me to do anything if she said my name.

I took my hand away briefly to pull my pants down slightly. My right hand went back to her, and my left hand slipped three fingers into myself. I moaned into her pussy, and she growled. She was having a harder and harder time keeping quiet. I was, too, but I was muffled by her. I felt myself so near cumming already, but I wanted her to finish first. I slowed down on myself, but I doubled my efforts on her.

She was still looking at me when I started feeling her orgasm against my mouth. I went back to pounding full speed into myself, and as I felt her pour onto my tongue, I felt my own muscles clench. I wished that she didn't have to keep it down, because I knew that she wanted to shout, and I knew that it would only make us both cum even harder.

Then again, I wasn't sure that touching myself could get any better than it was right then.

We were both whimpering and twitching. I didn't know if she was still looking at me, because I couldn't keep my eyes open anymore. She was literally cumming into my mouth. I kept rubbing her clit, trying to get everything out of her that I could. The longer she came, the longer I did. I felt so close to her in these moments.

She finally pulled me away from her, and I crawled up her body. I pulled the pillows from behind her head and kissed her lightly again. She moaned slightly, and I realized she could probably taste herself in my mouth. I pulled away.

"Is that better?" I asked her, and she smiled.

"Much. Thank you." I laid down next to her, and caught my breath. I started to drift off to sleep, but I felt Sara scoot away from me.

"Are you okay?" I asked.

"Yeah," she said, facing away from me. "I'm just going to sleep."

I swallowed. "Um, okay."

I didn't know why I thought she would let me hold her. I didn't know why I set myself up for disappointment like that. I turned away from her.

"Goodnight, Tegan," she said.

"'Night, Sara," I said back. I tried to ignore the lump in my throat. It was harder every time.

I laid in bed awake for a while, trying to fall asleep. She had promised me more...again. She promised to let me take my time. It was progress. I focused on that, because I knew she was giving as much as she could. I started counting sheep, and it was almost working...

"I don't want to."

Sara's voice pulled me back from sleep. I looked at her over my shoulder. "You okay?"

She didn't respond. I figured that I'd dreamed it, so I closed my eyes and started to drift off again. I heard her whimper and sigh, and I fully turned over to face her. She was facing me, too, but her eyes were closed. She was still asleep, but she seemed to be dreaming. I was about to scoot closer to her and nudge her awake, but she started talking.

"I don't want to talk to Trevor," she mumbled out. "I don't want him."

Trevor...it sounded vaguely familiar. I knew he was another camper. I felt like he wasn't in our group sessions, but I'd seen him somewhere. It took me a minute to place it.

Trevor was the boy Sara had been talking to at the campfire.

"Sara, you're asleep," I said to her.

"Tegan's here," she whispered. "I don't want him. Tegan's here."

She made a few more noises before going completely silent. I called her name quietly a few times, but she didn't respond. That was fine. I'd heard enough. I'd known that she didn't want him, but hearing her say it had eased any lingering jealousy that I felt. Even if it was an indirect sleep-confession. I would take it.

I fell asleep.

I woke up the next morning, and it was just starting to get light. I tried to force myself to fall back to sleep, but I could tell it was starting to get light outside, and I'd been waking up earlier and earlier because of my walks with Sara. I briefly thought of waking her up to take one now, but then I remembered that we would have to make the walk back to the cabins, and I didn't want her to have another asthma attack.

I turned over, and Sara wasn't there. It felt weird and made me realize that it had been a while since Sara hadn't woken me up before leaving. I closed my eyes to sleep again, but it wasn't happening. I didn't want to worry that something was wrong just because she hadn't let me know that she was going somewhere, but I just worried that something was wrong.

I was dressed and out of the tent before I was even fully awake. I shook my head a few times to regain my balance. I wasn't sure if I was trying to clear my head or find Sara. I told myself it was the former, because the latter would be crazy. What if she needed space? What if she wasn't in the mood to talk? What if she-

"Why?"

I heard Sara's voice, and I realized that she was close. I spun around nervously, but I didn't see her anywhere. I tried to pinpoint which way the voice came from, but she wasn't talking anymore, so I stood still and waited.

"Why? Why does it have to be this hard?"

I knew the general direction, now, so I started walking cautiously toward where I thought she would be. I followed the sparse mumbles and whispers until I could see her through the trees. She was kneeling next to a rock in a small gap in the trees. She was praying.

"It doesn't seem right," she said. "I've tried so hard. I've felt wrong my whole life, and I thought this place was starting to make me feel normal...but it wasn't camp. It was her. It was Tegan."

I saw her hands clasp tighter around each other, and her eyebrows were becoming more furrowed as she kept talking.

"If I'm not supposed to be this way, then why is she the only person that's ever made me feel normal? Is it a test? Some kind of ultimate temptation that I'm supposed to be able to resist? Someone who cares about me no matter how I am? Someone who is beautiful and kind and all the things I want and know I can't have?"

She got eerily quiet for a while, and I felt like I was invading her thoughts. I kind of was, but I didn't want to move and step on something that might get me caught. I also debated just announcing that I was there, but trying to pretend that I hadn't heard anything, but I wasn't a very good liar. I wanted to comfort her, but instead, I just sat there, watching her try to hold herself together.

"Why are you cruel?" Her words shocked the both of us, but she didn't stop. "I know that I'm supposed to trust your plan, but your plan for me so far has been shit."

She got to her feet and started pacing.

"Why did you make me want to fuck girls? Why didn't you make me a person that my parents could love? Why did you make Samantha exactly the person that my parents could love? Why..." Her voice broke. Her voice came back yelling at this point. "Why would you show me Tegan?!"

She picked up a rock and chucked it in the air as hard as she could. "Is it funny to you?!" Another rock went flying. "Making me have this deep connection with someone who wants me that I can't have?!" She took a few deep breaths before she started sobbing.

"Why did you have to show me Tegan?" she asked between sobs. "Why did she have to be perfect?"

I shut my eyes tight and willed the tears away. I watched as she went back to the rock and back to praying.

"Please, God. I'm sorry. Just make this make sense."

I couldn't watch any more. I moved as quietly as I could away from her. I wanted to wrap my arms around her, but as always, I knew that it would just make things worse. I craved for a day that things could just be easy between us. When she could admit who she was and just be with me in another setting...far away from this fucked up place.

Breakfast was halfway over by the time Sara came back. She smiled and waved at me while she sat down next to that Trevor boy, and I wanted to break the table.

"Careful, or you might just kill the boy with sheer force of will," Jeremy said as he sat across from me, and I smiled.

"Hey," I said. "And yeah, that's what I was sort of going for."

"It's really not necessary," he said with a smile. "It's not like she's really into him."

"I know," I said. "I really do, it's just that...I don't want her faking it. I know how unhappy it's making her."

He shrugged. "Well, if you need a friend again for the day, I'm your man."

"I think I'm a little in love with you," I said with a giggle.

"Oh, good! The therapy's working! Mom and Dad will be so proud!" he said clapping, and I was laughing outright at this point.

"What got you shipped off?" I asked him.

"Caught. You?"

"Same," I answered. "What happened?"

"Oh, my parents aren't around much. They're more concerned with vacationing than they are with parenting. The only reason this is an issue is because I got caught at school, and it was a big scandal that my parents didn't want to deal with, so they sent me here so they'll be able to say, 'Oh, yes. That was just a phase. We sent him to a treatment facility. More of a mental health spa, really. He's fine now.'"

"Wow," I said. "I'm sorry."

He laughed. "Don't be. I can do whatever I want. My parents will let me do anything as long as I don't embarrass them. The lesson is to not get caught again."

I shook my head. "I guess that's a good way to look at it."

"I guess it's not that big of a deal to me," he said. "It's why this camp isn't bothering me. I know it doesn't work, and I already knew my parents didn't care, so there wasn't this big sense of betrayal, y'know?"

I nodded. "Yeah, that weirdly makes sense."

"Whatever. I'm just thinking of this as a free vacation. I'm surrounded by eye candy, and my boyfriend calls once a week from the gay camp he got sent to. Next year I go to college. I have no reasons to be stressed." He smiled at me. "That's why I'm living vicariously through your drama."

I scoffed. "Trust me, if I could give it to you, I would."

Breakfast ended, and we were all handed bathing suits so we could get into the lake if we wanted. Sara stayed with Trevor, but I just shook my head. It was sad how hard she was trying to make me jealous...what was even sadder is that I suspected that she wasn't doing it completely consciously. Jeremy grabbed my arm and practically begged me to change into the suit so we could go swimming.

Jeremy was fun. Jeremy was such an easy person to be around. He was quick-witted and charming and instantly caring and supportive. If I could choose a guy to be in love with based on ease, I would choose him without question, and I'd known him all of a few hours.

Why didn't it work that way? If the world was like people thought, and we could choose, life would be a lot easier for me.

"Wanna get the counselors off of our backs for a few days?" he asked me as we swam.

"Oh God, please don't try to kiss me right now," I said, and he practically cackled.

"No, I was thinking more along the lines of..." He grabbed me and dunked us both in the water.

"Jeremy!" I yelled at him, but I was laughing as I splashed him in retaliation. This was fun like I had barely been able to experience in this place. The only other good times that I'd been able to have had been with Sara, and many of those were tainted with the heaviness of Sara refusing to acknowledge that she had feelings for me outside of friendship and a desire to make me cum. No, Jeremy was just someone that I didn't have to worry around, and it was nice to make a friend.

The counselors called for us to start getting packed up to go back, and I couldn't help but feel a little disappointed. I went back to my tent, and Sara already had it almost done.

"Oh," I said. "Do you need help with anything?"

"No," she said shortly.

"I can't believe you got everything packed up so fast."

"Got started early," she said.

"Are you okay?" I asked, and her shoulders relaxed a bit.

"Yeah. I'm sorry. I'm just tired. It's been a long two days, and I'm not looking forward to the walk back."

I nodded. "I understand. Don't worry, though. We'll hang in the back this time. I don't think they'll mind, since we had to stop on the way up. Plus, the downhill trip is way easier than the trip up."

"Okay," she said. "Thanks."

"No problem." I knew she was still bothered. I had a feeling that I knew why, but I wanted us to get started on the trip back, so I helped her finish up, then we met everyone at the center of the campsite.

"Alright, everyone," Heather said from the middle of the group. "It's been a great two days! I'm pretty sure that this was the absolute best hike-and-camp that I've ever had!"

"I bet it was," I said under my breath, and I made a mental note to tell Jeremy about that piece of information later.

"We're very proud of the progress that some of you have shown," Joe said, looking over at me. I wished I could laugh at how off he was. "And we're hoping that this helped you relax and refocus as you prepare for the tougher final stages of your recovery." That was directed at Sara. "Now, let's get back to camp and keep on the track to our real selves!"

Every time Joe made one of his speeches and all the other counselors clapped for him, I imagine that an angel got its wings forcefully ripped off.

We started the walk, and Sara and I stayed near the back as we'd planned. We didn't talk for a while. There were so many things that I wanted to say, but I didn't know where to start or how to say what was on my mind. Still, I knew Sara would never say anything if I let her, so I was the first to speak up.

"So Trevor," I started. "Is he trying to recover?"

"Yes," she said. "He says this isn't his first camp, but this is the first time he's felt like he could actually be with a woman. He...he tried to kiss me."

"Tried?" I asked, keeping my voice even. I know he was probably some sad, confused, nice kid, but I wanted to strangle him in that moment. "What happened?"

She looked at her feet as we kept walking. "I pushed him away. He just wasn't my type. I didn't feel like I do when I'm about to...well, it didn't feel right."

"Okay," I said, and we dropped back into silence for a little while. I knew what she'd been saying: she couldn't kiss him, because it didn't feel like it did when she was about to kiss me. I knew what she meant. Kissing Lindsey hadn't compared, and I couldn't imagine there were a lot of people that could make me feel the way that Sara did when she was kissing me.

We walked for another hour, making small talk. Our conversation got easier and easier as we went along, and I soon forgot that there had been any awkwardness between the two of us at all.

"It's starting to get dark," Sara finally said, and I nodded.

"I wonder how far we are," I replied. "Seems like we've been moving down the mountain pretty fast."

"Yeah, I'd think I'd be recognizing things by now," she said. "I walk around the main cabin grounds a lot." She looked up the path. "And I haven't seen anyone in a while."

I felt my stomach drop. She was right. The last time I'd seen Heather was almost at the beginning of the walk, and no one else had come into our line of sight since.

"They must be just up the road," I said. "I'll jog up and check."

I ran up a ways, following the turns of the path, but there was no one to be seen. I went back to Sara and tried to stay calm for her sake, but she still looked panicked.

"We're lost, aren't we?"

"No, it's not...we're just a little turned around."

Sara's chest started to rise and fall a lot faster, and I grabbed her into a hug, but she pushed me away. She looked angry. Angry in a way she hadn't been with me in a while. I should have felt bad, and I did, but I felt even more turned on. I'd been loving that our sex had taken on a softer tone, but I craved the way she'd been when she was fucking me on the desk or against the door.

How was I supposed to focus on getting un-lost if she was looking at me like that?

"This is your fault!" she yelled.

"What?!" I snapped defensively. "What the hell did I do?"

"You got us lost!" she was in my personal space. "You were supposed to be paying attention!"

"I'm sorry, but when did you become incapable of figuring out your own fucking way back to the cabin?" I walked around away from her.

"Where are you going?" she asked, coming after me.

"I'm trying to find the right path," I said. "You know, since this is somehow my fault."

She groaned. "You're the one that got too deep in conversation to be able to go the right way."

"Again, don't understand why this doesn't also apply to you."

"I had reason to be distracted," she said, then immediately looked like she regretted it.

"Oh, please. Tell me," I said. "Please tell me how we both got ourselves lost, but somehow you're a helpless victim, and I'm a fucking moron."

Sara's eyes flashed hurt, and I wanted to take my words back. Sara started walking, and I followed, trying to think of what to say next. Should I apologize? Should I stay quiet? Should I keep fighting with her like nothing had happened?

Before I could choose any of these, she spoke up.

"You and Jeremy were getting along." The words came out like they physically pained her to say.

Is that what this was all about?

"I already told you that we're both gay," I said. "And neither of us plans on changing that."

"Then why was he all over you in the lake?" she asked.

I rolled my eyes. "How many times do we have to fuck before you get that I'm never gonna like dick?"

She closed her eyes and took a few deep breaths. "I shouldn't care either way." She was speaking through gritted teeth. "You can do whatever you want."

She was trying so hard to calm down...and then it started to lightly rain.

I looked into the sky. "Of course. Of course it's raining, now." I looked back to Sara, and she still had her eyes closed. Her hands were clenched at her sides, and I could see her jaw clenching. I put my hand on her back and guided her to stand under a tree.

"It's going to get dark soon," she finally said. "And we're lost. And it's raining. And once again, I find myself alone with you." She looked into the sky like she hated it, and I realized that she probably felt like this was a sign from God. "I'm just...I'm not better yet."

"Sara?" I asked, confused. She looked me straight in the eye, and my whole body shifted...like it was instantly getting ready for her.

"Can I hurt you, Tegan?"

My lips were on hers almost the second the question was out of her mouth. Honestly, we had bigger things to deal with than our constant sexual tension, but we were both scared and stressed...and, at least on my end, I'd missed Sara for the time that we'd had to spend apart.

She immediately pushed me up against the tree and slipped her hands to my chest. She bit my shoulder hard while she pinched my nipples and slipped a leg between mine. I could barely feel the bark of the tree, because Sara just dove straight in.

The rain was coming down harder, now, and our tree was providing a lot less cover than it had been. I didn't care. In fact, I welcomed the cold drops of water as Sara slipped her hand into my pants and started rubbing my clit. I couldn't take this. I hadn't realized how much our fighting had worked me up until we'd actually started kissing, but I knew now that I needed to get fucked. Right then.

Her mouth went back to mine, and I knew that my lips were going to be bruised. I hoped that I could blame it on the cold weather, and that it wouldn't be too bad. I tried to think of the words I needed to say to get Sara to go inside of me, but every time I went to speak, she would tap on my clit or quickly dip her head down to leave yet another mark on my chest.

I finally just slipped my hand into her underwear and started fucking her. All the air left her, and her head fell into the crook of my neck. Her hand slipped into me, but I groaned.

"More, Sara. Please."

She pulled her head up. "Are you sure?"

"I was fine the first time, wasn't I?" I asked, impatiently. "Stop holding back."

I went back to fucking her, and her eyes rolled back in her head. She slumped against me again, sucking my neck and going back into me. I started rolling my hips to match her hand, and she did the same for me. Her teeth latched onto my ear again, and I could hear every sound that went along with every twitch inside of her body. I curled my fingers, and her waist pushed into mine. I wished so much that our clothes weren't there. I was tempted to just strip. We were soaked from the rain, anyway. Still, it was risky enough fucking in the open when we were lost. We didn't need to be naked, too.

It was hard to get my body to agree with my mind, though.

She yanked my hair, and I winced, still a little sore from our activities the night before.

"I wish I could bite your neck," she husked out as she slid in and out of me. "I w-wish...I wish I could see the marks up and down your throat."

I heard myself whimper. "I'd let you."

"I don't want to share," she said, slapping my clit just right with her palm on every thrust. "I want this part of you. I know I shouldn't."

I stopped moving my hand and grabbed her wrist. "Say what you feel. Do what you feel. Stop saying what you should do and just do what you want. At least with me."

For a moment, she just looked grateful. Then suddenly, her hand was out of my pants and shoved into my mouth.

"Shut up, suck these off, and make me cum," she said as she stared at my mouth. "Then maybe we'll see about you." I wrapped my lips around her fingers and started moving my own fingers at the same time. It was strange tasting myself. I liked it, but I think it was the way it tasted on her hand. Every few licks and sucks, her fingers would slide to the back of my throat, and I'd start to feel my gag reflex kick in. Every time I coughed, her whole body would shiver, so I made a point to take her fingers as far as I could while pushing into her as fast as I could go.

Sara snatched her hand out of my mouth and put it back inside of me. The scream I let out was swallowed by the sloppy kiss that Sara pulled me into. The rain was coming down worse than ever, but I barely noticed. I curled my fingers and hit the same sweet spot inside of her a few times, and she kept her lips to mine as she came.

I pulled back to see her face a little. She was so beautiful when she was cumming. My own orgasm was fast approaching, and it was starting to feel like Sara was going to have a second. I could feel myself right on the edge of-

"Tegan! Sara!"

Sara leaped away from me, and we both attempted to look like we weren't just four fingers deep inside of each other. We looked around to see who caught us, but there was no one. When we heard a different voice call our name, we realized that people were searching for us.

To be honest, I'd barely remembered that we were even lost in the first place.

"We're over here!" Sara finally yelled. I could hear the waiver in her voice, and I was at least thankful that we could blame almost everything like that on the rain and the cold.

A few counselors came up with blankets and umbrellas. Turns out, we'd gone the wrong way on a fork, and we'd walked a little ways from camp. They fussed over us, making sure we were warm and that we didn't feel the need to call our parents (I saw that familiar look of fear in Sara's eyes when talking about her family). They tried to get us to change, but we both just wanted to get away from everyone, so they escorted us back to our cabin.

"Girls, I am so sorry!" Heather said. "I can't believe that happened! I should have slowed down for you, but I was trying to keep everyone in line."

"Yeah, I know. It's easy to get...distracted," I said, and Heather just kept up her oblivious smile.

"Well, I'll let you two get to bed," she said. "I'm proud of you both for what you managed to accomplish while up there."

"Yes. Thanks," Sara said, clearly agitated. I couldn't say that I didn't know why, since I was feeling the exact same thing.

Heather bowed out, and I turned to Sara. I wanted to be able to say something, but her lips were on mine and her hands were pushing my wet clothes off of me. All I could do to keep up is rid her of her own wet attire as we both fell into my bed.

It was amazing feeling our naked bodies touch for the first time. Her skin was soft everywhere, and I just wanted to feel how every inch of her skin felt against every inch of mine. She started sucking and marking me all over my body, and I felt like I was on fire.

"These are all the places I remember seeing him touch you," she said as she looked in my eyes. Her fingers were back inside of me a second later, but she kept them still and looked into my eyes. "But only I get to touch you here."

I nodded frantically, and she started moving her hand again.

"More," I immediately said, and I felt her put in another finger. Her hand was pumping in and out of me hard, but it wasn't enough. "More, Sara. I need more."

Sara caught my eyes with her own. I felt her hand move, then suddenly, I felt more stretched than I ever have. I felt tears rush to my eyes, because of the pain that it brought on, but also because no one had ever made me feel like this. I never thought that anyone would ever push my body this hard. I never thought that I could feel so completely whole feeling someone this deep inside of me. Even the smallest of her movements right now was like a shock. I looked at her, and her eyes had completely glazed over.

"You're so fucking filthy," she said, slowly breaking me apart with every thrust. "You'll let me do anything to you, won't you?"

I rolled my hips a little bit harder against her hand and I felt my orgasm once again fast approaching.

"God, fuck me harder!" I yelled out. All of the noises coming out of my mouth were incredibly embarrassing, but I didn't care with the way Sara was looking at me.

She leaned down in my ear and whispered, "I've already got my fist in you. I don't know how much harder I can go."

I didn't want to cum after that. As good as I knew it would feel, I wanted this moment, this moment where I knew that Sara's whole fist was getting clenched by my pussy, to last forever. Her hand was moving with slightly longer strokes, and I couldn't breathe. I knew that if anything interrupted me this time, I might actually die. Sara sat up so she could get her other hand on my clit, and she started rubbing tight circles.

I snapped like a rubber band.

I was cumming. I was cumming harder than I ever had in my life, and all I could do was cling to Sara like a flotation device after a plane crash. I couldn't think. I couldn't see. I still couldn't breathe. My back was arched off of the bed, and now my fear was that I would die if I didn't stop cumming. I still didn't want to come down from this. I'd never felt closer to anyone in my entire life than I did to Sara in that moment.

When I'd mostly come down (I wouldn't be able to fully stop until Sara got away from me), Sara pulled out of me, and I hissed in pain.

"Are you okay?" she asked laying next to me. I was glad that this happened while we were at least not breaking apart without a word. I didn't think I could take the rejection.

"Yes," I whispered. My throat was so dry. How much had I been screaming while she'd been stretching me out?

"Did I hurt you?" she asked, pushing hair out of my face.

"Yes," I replied. "Thank you."

She looked at me in awe. "That was fucking gorgeous, Tegan."

I swallowed a few times to keep my emotions in check. It helped that I was almost too used up to cry.

I loved this feeling. Only Sara had ever made me feel like this. Even when we weren't getting along, just the way she looked at me made me feel special. Like we saw something in each other that others just couldn't see. Sex with her was special in a way that I didn't think it was for most people. I wanted her to break me, because for some reason, I trusted her to eventually put me back together.

Maybe I just felt that way because I was in love with her.

After all that had happened, now, it was a little hard to deny...at least to myself.

"Have you ever done that before?" I asked her as I tried to catch my breath, and she nodded.

"It's never been like that, though," she said. "Thank you for that."

"I didn't do anything," I said with a blush.

"You let me touch you when I need it. You're still my friend even though...even though I irrationally care about your love life more than I should."

I sighed. Some people were so deep in denial...

"It's fine," I said, and we laid quietly for a few minutes. This was the longest we'd stayed together and awake after sex. I was starting to drift off to sleep with Sara stroking my hair when she said it.

"I know I shouldn't...I know it's sick...but I love making you cum."

I felt my mouth go even dryer, and if I were not so pleasantly sore, I might have offered Sara a round 3. I didn't even have a chance to respond before she was pulling herself out of the bed.

"I probably won't be around as much tomorrow," she said. "Extra counseling. Maybe some more reflective prayer in the chapel."

"I thought you said this place wasn't working," I said.

"Group certainly isn't, so I'm trying other things," she said, pulling the last of her clothes on. She grabbed one of her tops and a pair of shorts and laid them on my bed. "Just for whenever you're ready to get dressed."

The girl that was telling me that she loves making me cum and is setting out pjs for me is still going to chapel to try to get God to take her gay away. I really knew how to pick 'em...

I put a smile on my face. She just needed more time.

"Alright, well, I'll be here," I said, honestly having nothing better to say.

Sara crawled into her bed with a smile. "Sweet dreams, Tegan."

"'Night," I said, dropping to sleep almost as soon as the word was out of my mouth.