"Your cousin's wedding was postponed, so you don't have to worry about missing that."

"Uh huh."

"And your father and I took off the entire weekend that your camp ends. We can talk about everything, and eat together...be a family again."

"Sure."

My mom sighed on the other side of the phone. She'd been calling more and more. All of the parents were. Camp was getting close to ending, and the counselors were giving them our near-final status updates. Parents were either calling to praise, worry, or threaten. Mine were mostly falling in the "worry" category.

"Your counselors say they feel like you're on the edge of a breakthrough. I understand why you're angry, but you have to understand that we're doing this because we love you."

"Okay, Mom," I said. "I understand that shipping me off to a camp that you didn't even research at all instead of just hearing me out was an act of love."

"Tegan, don't be like that. We just want you to be happy. You can't be happy like this."

Hearing the company line was harder when it was coming from my mom. It was even worse when it was my dad, but he'd stopped calling when our conversations quickly devolved into screaming fights.

"Is that all, Mom?" I couldn't help but feel badly for being so short with. her, but I couldn't control my mouth when I was this irritated with her.

"Yes," she said. She quickly added. "For now. I'll call back tomorrow, and we can talk some more about plans for when you're out of there."

"Fine. Talk to you later."

The phone was quiet for a second before she spoke again. "Okay, Tegan. I love you."

"I-" I'd started to respond, not realizing that she wasn't done talking.

"God loves you. Just be the angel that he made you to be."

I held back a groan of frustration. "Goodbye, Mom."

I hung up the phone and walked back to the cabin. I hated it. Her voice always sounded so concerned and sincere...I knew that she really was just trying to help. I knew both my parents were trying to protect me, but that didn't make how they were acting okay.

Sara wasn't in the cabin when I got back, so I laid down and stared at the ceiling. I wasn't surprised she wasn't back; her parents had been calling, too, and their conversations tended to last a lot longer. Sara didn't seem to be handling them very well. I hadn't asked about them much, because she never seemed to want to talk about them, but I could tell they were taking a toll on her. She was still smiling, still talking to me, still seeming to become more and more confident in who she really was, but I could almost feel how her parents were influencing her.

Sara came back almost half an hour later, and she immediately walked into the bathroom without a word. I almost called after her, but I heard the shower turn on. I took a deep breath and readied myself to deal with whatever version of Sara was going to walk out of that bathroom.

She walked out a little later, towel wrapped around her body, and a smile on her face.

"Hey," she said, walking over to her things and getting some clothes. "Sorry that took so long."

"No worries," I said, sitting up. She dropped her towel facing away from me, and I almost forgot how to breathe, but I quickly regained my senses as she started to get dressed. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah," she said. "Family is tough, you know?"

"Yeah, I do," I said.

"I don't know how to talk to them. Hiding sleeping with girls is one thing, but lying about still trying to change...?" She left her thought unfinished.

"I know it's tough, but sometimes, it's for the best," I said. "And maybe one day they'll-"

"They won't," she said sharply, then she softened her tone. "They can't understand this. I don't even understand this."

"Sorry," I said. "I didn't mean to upset you."

She put on the last of her clothes and turned to face me. "It's fine. Just talking about everything after camp is stressful."

"Yeah, my mom keeps saying 'We need to talk about how to fix everything between all of us from here' like things are going to back to normal." I saw Sara nod, and it felt like she wanted to talk. "What are your parents saying? Are they both talking to you?"

She nodded again. "They just aren't very happy with the reports they've been getting for a while. They're...talking about maybe sending me somewhere else later."

"What?" I said, getting to my feet. "What does that mean? Another camp?"

"I don't know," she said. "They may just try to deal with it themselves."

"I'm sorry," I said. "But just remember that none of that matters. You're an adult, now. You can just leave."

There was a split second that I was sure her face dropped, but the smile that quickly followed had me half-convinced I'd imagined it. I knew it was there, though. I knew that something was wrong.

Before I could ask her what was bothering her, she put her hands on my cheeks and kissed me...hard. Her teeth bit at my lips, and her tongue pushed into my mouth. I almost fell over from the force of it, but I wrapped my arms around her waist to stabilize myself. I pulled back when I couldn't breathe anymore, but she was still trying to pull my face to hers.

"Wait, wait, wait," I said, laughing a little. "Where is this coming from?"

"What, I can't just kiss you?" she asked with a raised eyebrow.

She kissed me again, and I let her for a while. She started trying to pull off my top, and I took a step away from her. Something about the look she'd given me wouldn't leave me alone.

"Okay, what did I say?" I asked. "I didn't mean to upset you."

"Why do you think I'm upset?" she asked, starting to get defensive. Her arms were crossed in front of her chest, but she wasn't making eye contact. "I was just trying to touch you."

"I can tell that's not all you're doing."

"Okay, I'm having a rough time. It's always like this."

"Yeah, but things seemed to be getting better," I replied. "You seemed happier."

"This week has been particularly hard," she said. She looked like she was cornering herself, gearing up for a fight.

I tried to tread lightly "Sara, your parents are bothering you, and I get that-"

"No you don't!" She finally locked her eyes with mine and stepped closer to me. "You don't know, or you wouldn't think that this was so easy!"

I blinked a few times, and she visibly deflated.

"Sara..." I tried to find words, but I wasn't even sure where she was coming from. "I'm sorry."

"No, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have snapped at you like that." She sat down on her bed, and I sat next to her.

"You're obviously bothered," I said. I slid some of her hair behind her ear. "Just tell me what's going through your head."

Sara opened and closed her mouth a few times before she started crying.

"I-I'm sorry," she said. "I'm sorry about everything. Tegan, I love you so much. I want you so much. I just...I don't know how this can work once camp is over."

I felt like someone had poured cold water over my head.

"What...what do you mean?" I asked, and she didn't say anything. "What does that mean, Sara?"

"I want to believe...I really want to believe that things can only get better from here. I want to be able to tell you that I'll just go on with this new life...with these new things I see in myself, but I can't promise that. I can't promise that I won't drop right back into who I was before the second I get around my parents again."

"You aren't the same person," I said. "You've changed so much."

"Because they weren't here," she said. "Obeying them...it's all I know. Even hearing them over the phone is making me doubt all of the things you've said and all of the things I feel. I don't know how to be strong when it comes to them...especially my dad."

"But I know you can be strong, Sara," I said. "You've been strong even with Joe and them trying to make you weak. You've managed to be such an incredible person even with their shitty excuse for parenting. You're better than they are."

She shook her head. "I know you think that, but I know you're wrong. Besides, we don't live in the same town. My parents barely let me use the phone. I really want this to work, but I don't see how it can. I just...I want to enjoy you while I can. That's why I try to touch you whenever I can. I want to have you as much as possible...before I have to say goodbye."

"That...that's bullshit, Sara!" I could feel my own tears rushing to my eyes, but I held them back. I was furious. How could she be doing this to me after everything? "You're just giving up? You're not even going to try?"

"I have been trying!" she snapped. "I've been running it over and over again in my head, but I can't just change everything about myself. I can't just ignore everything I've ever been taught my entire life. I...Tegan, I don't want to have you hold onto hope that isn't there. I don't want to hurt you anymore. I know I'm hurting you now, but at least this will be the last time. I'd like to at least be able to be with you for the rest of camp, but I understand if you don't want to."

I let my tears start to fall. This couldn't be it. This couldn't be it after everything. I fought so hard for this. For her. I couldn't lose her right when I thought we were finally going to get a chance.

"Please," I said, grabbing her hands. "Please don't do this. We can make it work, Sara. I don't know how I know that, but I do. If you can't be strong, I will be for you. If you can't call me, then we'll write, or I'll...I don't know, but I would find a way to talk to you. I'll get you away from your parents, and I'll support you somehow until you figure out what you want to do-"

"Tegan, you're not thinking about this clearly." She tried to let my hands go, but I just gripped them tighter.

"Please, Sara. I'll do anything. Just give this a chance."

I looked into her eyes, and I could see her wanting to give in. I always saw that in her eyes. She wanted to listen to me every time something I said went against what she'd been taught was right. Usually, this was the point that she would break, and she would push away all of the crap in her head. This time, though, she shook her head.

"This is best. You don't see it, now, but this is best."

For a flash, I genuinely thought that I hated her in that moment. Then I realized it was just that I hated that I was losing her, because I loved her so fucking much.

"Fuck you," I spat, then I stormed out of the cabin, ignoring as she called after me. I was so fucking done. I was done with her. It didn't matter that walking away was breaking my heart. It didn't matter that despite the fact that she was obviously a selfish, fickle bitch, I still wanted to fight for her. It didn't matter that I felt bad for even thinking she was a selfish, fickle bitch. I was ignoring all of that and giving up. If she was convinced that she couldn't do this, then it wasn't going to happen, no matter how hard I tried.

I stormed around all of the paths I usually walked, getting angry at the realization that Sara had shown them all to me. I felt like I thought about her all the time. Meeting her felt like finally finding the missing piece of myself that I'd always felt nagging at the back of my mind. I cringed as that cliché flew through my mind, but it was completely true. It didn't matter, though. She didn't even want to try. She wanted to run instead; she always wanted to run, and I couldn't take it anymore.

When I was far enough away that I was sure no one would hear me, I screamed at the top of my lungs. I screamed until I ran out of breath, and then I just took in another breath and screamed some more. At some point, I ended up on my knees, and I was sure that the veins in my neck were popping out, and my head was starting to hurt, but I didn't care. I screamed until I didn't have much of a voice left. I really didn't have anything else to do.

The silence that followed was eerie, but strangely calming. I took deep breaths and tried to convince myself that this wasn't my life ending...that I was just being a dramatic teenager about a summer fling. I fell in love at the drop of a hat. I'd thought that I was in love with Lindsey when this all started. The pain from Sara would fade the way the pain from Lindsey did.

I knew it was a lie, though. Deep down, I knew that Sara was different. I wasn't sure I really believed in soul mates, but I knew that Sara and I were something special. I stopped my thoughts. They weren't helping me get over...well, this wasn't a break-up, because we'd never been together, and Sara was still asking to keep this thing going until we left for home (I still wasn't sure where I stood on that...my mind said no, but my heart was saying keep going). It still felt like one.

I wiped my tears away and got up off of the ground. I started walking back to camp, trying to think of what I was going to say to Sara. I didn't even know if there was anything else to say. I was still in shock about it all. I decided I couldn't go back to the cabin yet. I walked around, trying to find places that the counselors wouldn't find me.

I went to walk past the chapel, but I noticed that the door was slightly ajar. I never went in there unless we had to, but I started walking toward the door without a reason. I peeked inside, and I almost wasn't surprised to see Sara sitting at one of the pews facing away from the door toward the front of the room. I immediately started to turn to walk away, but I could see from where I stood that she was sobbing. Her shoulders were shaking, and a hiccup or two had escaped.

I wanted to be done. I wanted to walk away, but I couldn't. I slowly walked into the room and approached without disturbing her. I walked in front of her. Her head was down slightly, and her eyes were closed, but I could see that her eyelids were swollen from crying...crying even more than she had in front of me. Her hands were crossed over her stomach, like she felt sick.

She looked as broken as I felt. I could feel her fear and her panic coming off of her in waves. She looked like she was trying to stop herself from having a panic attack. I put my hand on her chin, and her eyes slowly opened. I felt myself starting to cry as I looked at her. I knew right then that I could never be done. Even if we couldn't be together...even if we really couldn't find a way to make it work, I would make sure that she would be able to live a happy life. I would get her away from her parents. I needed her to be happy. For now, I was going to enjoy what time I knew we would have for sure.

Sara's crying had died down some, but she was still trembling. I wiped a tear away with my thumb, and she pulled me closer to her by one of the loops on my pants. Without a word, I crawled onto her lap. Her hand went to the back of my neck and pulled me into a kiss. She wanted me, she could have me. It probably wasn't healthy how much I was willing to give Sara of myself, but I couldn't help it. I had to make her happy. I had to save her. I loved her too much to do anything else.

Sara's hand slipped into my pants and started rubbing circles on my clit. I could feel her tears hitting my lips as I kissed hers. My thighs were already trembling. I felt desperate. I didn't want to lose her. I couldn't believe it, but I didn't want camp to end, because I wasn't ready for her to go her way, and for me to go mine.

Sara's kisses were deep and hungry, and I tried my best to keep up. Her hand was switching back and forth between my clit and being inside of me. She slipped inside of me on one pass, and I squeezed down to let her know not to leave. Her fingers were curling inside of me, and I started rolling my hips in her lap. When that wasn't enough, I started moving up and down, trying to get her to pound into me.

I wanted to feel her...I wanted the feeling to last for as long as she could make it last, because I didn't know how many more times I would get to be with her.

I was bouncing in her lap, attempting to kiss her back, but I was mostly just breathing against her mouth as she tugged my lips between her teeth and sucked them. She was stroking deep and long, her palm grinding into my clit. I wished I could touch her. I just wanted to spend every second for the rest of camp getting to touch her.

I was cumming way too soon. My strangled moans were the only sounds in the otherwise empty chapel. I threw my head back, and Sara buried her face in my chest. Her arm was wrapped around my back, clinging to me and breathing me in. She went to pull out of me as I stopped shaking, but I grabbed her wrist. I stayed there and caught my breath as she cried into my chest.

"I'm not leaving," I finally said to her, voice uneven as I tried to regain my senses and stay strong for her. "I'm...I'm here for you. If this is all the time we have, then I'll make it the best that I can."

She pulled her face out of my chest and kissed me again, a lot softer this time. I finally let her pull out of me, and we both slowly made our way back to our cabin.

For the next few days, we spent every moment we could together...usually having sex. Every time lasted longer than the time before. It was getting harder to pull apart from each other. Sara had marked me in so many different places along my body.

"I wished I could make them last forever," she said to me one day while we laid in bed together after a particularly rough round.

"What?" I asked.

"The marks," she said, tracing one on my chest with her finger. "I wish they wouldn't leave, so we wouldn't forget each other."

"I'm not going to forget you, Sara," I said, kissing her on the forehead.

She got out of the bed and threw some clothes on. "I won't forget you, either. Even if my parents try to make me, and even if I act like I do."

I sighed and threw on my own set of clothes without getting out of the bed. Sara went to the bathroom, and I wrapped my blankets around myself. I ignored her words. I needed to believe that things were going to get easier even if she didn't believe it at all.

I started to drift off to sleep when the door to my cabin banged open. A few counselors I didn't recognize stormed into my room.

"Up! Now! Get outside in the next 30 seconds!" I scrambled out of my bed, trying to get my heartbeat to slow down.

"What the fuck is going on?" I asked, panic in my voice. Did they know about us? "What did we do?"

"Stop asking questions, and get out."

Sara came out of the bathroom, wide-eyed in surprise. She followed me out the door without question.

"Please, what's happening?" I asked.

"Hurry up," the counselor said, the usual smile missing from his face. I was terrified. They weren't telling us anything, no matter how many times I asked on the walk to the main gathering area. When we got there, I saw everyone else standing in a circle, and I felt completely confused.

"Hey," I heard a voice come up from behind me. It was Jeremy. He looked completely out of it. I could only figure that he'd been completely passed out. "Any idea why we're here?"

I shook my head and looked over at Sara. She had her inhaler in her mouth and was taking big puffs. I was glad she'd thought to bring it on the way out. I rubbed her back for just a second before pulling away.

"They just stormed into my room," I said. "They won't tell me anything."

"Same," he answered. "What do you think-"

"Campers," Joe said, going to the middle of the circle of us. "We have some unfortunate news. Two boys, Johnny and Mike, slipped up."

Two of the boys (one blonde, one redhead, both about 16 at best) were thrown to the ground into the middle of the circle. The blonde, who I was pretty sure was Mike, was wearing a backwards t-shirt and a pair of shorts. Johnny was only in his boxers.

"Please," Mike said, standing up. "I'm sorry. He...he didn't do anything. This was my fault."

"Mike, don't-"

"Shut up!" Joe screamed in that same scary way that Heather had when I'd almost outed her. "These two were caught sinning during nightly inspections." He turned back to them,. "We were so close to the end, boys. Why would you let evil take you over like this."

"I made a mistake," Mike started rambling again. "I forced him. I made him touch me. He didn't want to do it. He just wanted to get better."

"Is that what happened, Johnny?" Joe asked, grabbing a fistful of Johnny's hair. I was frozen. This place never made you feel safe, but they'd never been like this. "Did he make you do this? Be honest. God is watching you, and you've already angered him a great deal."

Mike had tried to defend Johnny, but other counselors had grabbed him. Johnny winced a few times and looked at Mike before mumbling, "No."

Joe shook his head. "If you commit such a heinous sin, then you have to deal with the consequences." Joe faced the rest of us. "You are so close. You're all about to be free. Don't be weak like these two. Don't let Satan convince you to commit disgusting, unnatural acts." He turned back to the boys before saying, "Take them for elevated therapy for punishment. Hopefully, we can save them before the end of camp."

Both of them were dragged off fighting. The rest of us were escorted back to our cabins without another word. Sara and I didn't need to speak to know that we wouldn't be sharing a bed for the night.

When the boys came back to camp a few days later, they were both twitchy and couldn't look anyone in the eye. Mike refused to be anywhere near Johnny...and Johnny's left eye was swollen shut. The entire left side of his face was black and blue. Neither of them would say a word about what had happened.

Sara and I observed them actively avoiding looking anywhere near each other as we attempted to force our food down.

"I can't do this," she said, pushing her food away. "This is...that could have been us."

"I know."

"We can't sleep together anymore," she said, her voice shaking. "I know that...it means we don't have any more times together. I hate it, but we can't."

I nodded. "Yeah. I know."

She was quiet for a minute before she subtly grabbed my hand under the bench. I looked over at her, but she kept her head facing the table.

"I couldn't let that happen to you," she said softly. She gave my had one last squeeze, then pulled her food back to her and went back to eating.

We ate the rest of our lunch in silence, staring at Johnny and Mike.