Sara and I stood outside by the parking lot. All of us were out here, side-by-side, watching as cars started to come around the bend and into the camp.

"They're starting to pull in," I said. "Are both of yours coming?"

"Yes. Yours?"

"I think so...unfortunately."

"It'll be okay," she said. She touched her hand to the back of mine, but pulled it away so fast I barely felt it. "They'll be happy to see us, and you'll be able to fake it."

"Will you?" I asked, and her jaw clenched. "Sara?"

"There they are," she said. She was staring off into the parking lot, and I saw where she was looking. Her dad was tall, blonde, and intimidating, but he had a smile on his face. Her mom was on the shorter side, with dark hair. She seemed so graceful, getting out of the car and making her way towards us. They seemed so...perfect. Like '50s sitcom perfect.

I could feel Sara's anxiety coming off of her in waves. Was she starting to shake? She took a few deep breaths, and I felt her force herself to seem more relaxed. I could still feel it, though. Feel how tense she was.

I'd been so focused on it that I hadn't noticed my parents approaching me until my dad picked me up in a hug.

"Tegan!" he said with the smile in his voice that he always had when he saw me at the end of summer. It was so surreal...I was hugging him back like this had just been any regular summer away from home. He had sent me away because he didn't love the real me. Thankfully, he set me down before I had a chance to panic and push myself out of his arms. My mom grabbed me right after, but her hug and kiss on the cheek were much shorter.

"Oh my God, have you been eating?" my mom asked when she let go. "Or getting sun? Are you alright?"

Was I alright? She had the nerve to ask me if I was alright?

"I'm fine. It's just been a rough experience, but I'm through it." Sara and I had practiced what we were going to say to our parents to each other. I was going with a more "wing it" approach. Sara wanted more of a script that had room for flexibility.

I looked over to Sara, and her parents had her wrapped in a hug. Her mother was patting her back, and her dad had his arms wrapped around the both of them. This didn't feel right. This didn't match the picture that I'd painted in my head. I'd expected them to be cold and stern looking. They seemed loving...almost. Something was stiff about the whole thing, but that could just be Sara. I knew some of what these people had done to her. How could they do that and look like such normal people?

I looked at Sara, and she looked back at me. She looked scared. Not the type that was panicked and looking for an escape route, but the kind that was resigned and knowing there isn't one. It broke my heart.

I took a step towards her, and Sara's dad noticed me. Both of her parents let her go, and her dad faced me with a smile. Not quite fake like the ones on the faces of the counselors, but not like the more honest ones on my parents' faces.

"You must be Tegan!" he said, sticking out his hand. His grip was tight to the point of pain, but he let go pretty fast. "Sara's told us so much about you!"

"She has?" I said with a weak smile.

"Absolutely! She says you've helped her quite a bit. Have you also achieved a full recovery?"

I nodded. "They told me this morning. Passed with flying colors."

"Glad to hear it," Sara's mother added, hugging me. "Aren't you proud of our girls?"

My dad nodded. "I'm glad she won't have to face this hard life. Won't have to face God's judgment." He was saying the words, but he was looking at me with worry. "Are you sure you're alright, Tegan?"

"I just didn't sleep well last night," I lied. "Couldn't wait to go home!"

He wasn't convinced, but he turned back to Sara's dad. "I'm Spencer."

"Eric. Nice to meet you," Sara's dad said, shaking my dad's hand, then leaning in a little closer. "I'm glad our daughters could help each other. This has been really hard on us, and I'm just glad Sara's normal now."

"Yeah," my dad said. "I'm glad they're better, too."

"There you are!" a voice called from behind me, and I found myself being picked up in a hug again. A voice whispered, "Play along," in my ear, and I knew it was Jeremy. He set me down, then put his arm around my shoulder. "Mom, Dad, this is Tegan. We're not official or anything, but we've been seeing each other. We plan on keeping in contact, isn't that right?"

Jeremy was smiling at me, and I smiled back, because it was all I could do to not laugh in his face.

"You bet!" I tried not to sound sarcastic, but it was a struggle. "Jeremy and I really hit it off at the hike-and-camp."

"And we've been inseparable ever since!" he said, pulling me closer. Our parents all introduced themselves, then started talking. Sara, Jeremy, and I hung around just long enough for them to stop paying attention to us. After that, we stepped a little bit away and talked quietly.

"Well, you could have told me that we were telling our parents, too!" I said to Jeremy as loud as I could without drawing any attention.

"I figured that was a given," Jeremy said. "Sorry to get so handsy. You're getting them off my back. Your parents make money?"

"Mom's a lawyer. Dad's an accountant," I said. "Why?"

"Hmm...that should do," he said after a beat.

"What does that mean?" I asked. "What should do?"

He ignored me and turned to Sara. "How's it going with you and yours?"

Sara just shrugged. "They seem like they always do in public." She flinched, realizing what she'd said.

"In public?" he questioned, and I shot him a look. "I don't mean to pry, or anything."

"It's fine," she said, but she didn't say anything else.

"Well, our parents seem to be hitting it off," I said, trying to take the attention off of her. They were all joking and laughing with each other like it was any other day. At least my parents had the decency to look a little uncomfortable, but they were joining in, too. It was so weird loving them and hating them at the same time.

At least I could say they were the best of the three sets of parents standing in front of me. And whether they seemed like it or not, Sara's parents were the worst.

I looked over at Johnny with his parents, and they seemed to be disappointed in him for needing the extra beating to straighten out. At least, that's what I could hear from their shouting across the parking lot. They were already dragging him off.

"Mike said that they're sending him to another camp," Jeremy said, noticing where I was looking. "Didn't buy he was totally cured. Wanted to make sure."

"Fuck," I said, looking away as his dad pushed him into the car. I couldn't think about how awful that was for him. "How's Mike taking that?"

"I'm not sure. He just stated it like fact. Maybe he's in shock?"

"It's not that," Sara said, and we both looked at her. "He's probably tired. He just needs to get away from this."

"That's true," Jeremy said. "We all do. We all need to go home."

"I guess so," Sara said, and I saw her eyes start to water. Jeremy looked confused, but I hoped he wouldn't say anything. Sara couldn't explain to him that home wasn't any better. Luckily, all of the counselors were starting to gather everyone into the orientation room. We all sat by our parents, minus the few families that had left early, and I groaned when I realized I was going to have to listen to Joe and Heather speak one more time.

"Hello, parents! Welcome to Exodus! For the past summer, your kids have been working really hard to become the people that they were meant to be. The people you no doubt raised them to be. They've all been very strong and very brave, and even though there were some scuffs and scrapes along the way, they all made it! Let's give them a round of applause, shall we?"

It was the loudest applause that I'd heard all summer, and it was weird to see different kids clapping then when we'd been in here for orientation. Some of the kids that had come in here determined to change were just broken, now. And a few that had been okay with their sexualities had been won over by manipulation or fear or starvation...whatever it was, it made me feel sick for them.

"I can say that I am very proud of all of your kids," Heather said, stepping forward. "Even the most adamant that their sin was just who they are were able to see the light and realize what God really wants for them. I hope they are able to stay on the path as well as many of the counselors here have."

I saw her eyes glance over to Tina, and I hated that I wanted to leave, but didn't want to leave so badly. Was that how Heather and Tina had ended up working at a place like this? Tina had wanted to leave, but hadn't wanted to lose Heather?

I was projecting. Knowing that didn't change anything, though.

"Alright, while we walk your parents through everything that's happened at camp, you all head back to your cabins and pack your things," Joe said to us. "If you're already packed, take this time to relax! You did it!"

Everyone clapped again, and we left our families in the room. They'd told us this would happen. Parents would be told about everything we'd been through (well, not everything, but the edited version they chose to share), and they could ask questions to the counselors about helping with their child's recovery. Then they'd sign all the papers and make final payments, and then we'd be free to go. I knew that this would be the last chance that Sara and I got to be together, and so did she. We hurried back to our cabin, and Sara was pushing me back against the desk almost before I'd managed to shut the door.

"Sara," I said as her mouth went to my neck. "Careful. Someone could see us."

"They're all in the hall. We don't have long before someone makes rounds," she said, pushing my pants down and picking me up onto the desk. As she flicked my clit and pulled my shirt up to bite at the skin on my stomach, I couldn't help but think of the first time, and I pushed the thoughts away, because it made me think of how this was our last time.

She was biting hard enough to bruise, but not hard enough to break the skin. When her bites moved to just off of my nipples, my eyes rolled back, and I realized that I'd just cum. It wasn't enough for me, though. It didn't matter, because I knew I'd be able to do it again, and Sara wasn't stopping. She was rubbing my clit with just enough pressure to make my vision start to fade, and her mouth had started kissing down my stomach.

She slipped inside of me. It felt like three fingers. She dropped to her knees in front of me and sucked my clit into her mouth. I rolled my hips against her face and put my hand on her cheek. She was curling her fingers inside of me, trying to get me over the edge again as fast as she could, but I didn't want this to be quick. I knew it had to be, but I didn't want to accept it.

"Fuck me harder," I said, desperately. I needed it to hurt. I needed to drown the thoughts of losing her out of my head. Besides, it felt so much better when it hurt, and I knew she would never push it too far...not that she would have the chance now that we were leaving. I groaned out of frustration and from a particular flick of her wrist. "Please, fuck me harder!"

Sara sped up, pushed deeper into me, and flicked my clit quickly with her tongue. As she pushed into me, I felt the finger that wasn't inside of me slipping farther back...it grazed my asshole more than once before it just became a steady pressure there. I simultaneously wanted to tell Sara to move it away and to push it inside. It felt good. It felt really good, but I didn't know how to ask for that. I didn't even know if she was into that sort of thing. Just because she was rough didn't mean that she was into everything. Instead of ruining the moment with possible awkwardness, I let her keep going, and I figured I would mention it next time, because just feeling her rub against it was adding this whole new feeling for me.

I came again as I realized that I'd been planning on a next time that I knew wouldn't happen. Sara had stuck her tongue inside of me, licking my walls and keeping me from ever falling off of my orgasm. It was amazing, but it was terrible, because I knew it had to end. I knew that she would pull away, and we would pack, and I would never see her again. I started to cry as I finally relaxed, and Sara pulled away and stood up, wiping her face with her hand.

"Tegan?" she asked. "Are you okay? Did I hurt you?"

I shook my head and tried to organize my thoughts. "I'm fine. Just ignore me. Let me touch you."

"No, I...you're crying. What's wrong?"

"We don't have time for this." I hopped off of the desk and my knees almost buckled under me. I pulled my pants up and straightened out my shirt. I started unbuttoning her pants. "I need to touch you before we go."

"Tegan," she said, batting my hands away. "Tegan, stop. You can't do this. Let's just enjoy what we had, and-"

"No!" I yelled at her. "You can't just-fuck! This is all I get! Just let me have it!" I walked past her and paced around the room for a while. She made me so fucking mad. She was this constant fucking emotional yo-yo, and no matter what I did, it felt like I didn't get what I wanted.

"I'm sorry," she said, trying to touch my shoulder, but I pushed her hand away.

"Don't touch me, Sara. Don't fucking touch me! Did you ever plan on giving this a chance, or was your plan always to leave me? You begged me not to leave you, and now you're running! I could have been out weeks ago and not been starving to death and being driven crazy! You've driven me crazy!"

"I know," she mumbled. "I...I know."

"You flirted with me, but got mad at me when I acted on it. I tried to hate you, and then you fuck me. I try to love you, and you run. I try to give up, and you beg me to hold on. I think we're doing well, and you tell me we're done when camp ends. I don't know what you want! I never know what you want, and no matter what, you leave me! Fuck you, Sara! Just fuck you!"

I sat on the ground, pulled my knees into myself, and cried. I hated her. I hated her. I wished that I'd never met her. She was the worst thing that had come out of going to this place.

"You're right," she said, and I looked up at her. Tears were streaming out of her eyes, but her voice only had a slight waver. "You're right about everything. I was awful. You...you deserve better than this. I'm sorry."

She turned away to pack her things, and all of my anger left me. I didn't hate her. I was terrified for her, and I was taking it out on her. Like what she'd done to me when she was scared of me...scared of the way that I made her feel. I got to my feet and packed my own things. This was so unfair. In any other place or time, Sara and I would be perfect for each other. We'd at least have a chance of making each other happy. Why did we have to be put in this? This wasn't fair.

"Do you want your jacket and shirt back?" I asked her as I was packing. I didn't know why I would ask and not just give them to her, but something said to ask.

She was quiet for a long moment before saying, "Keep them. Anything I have of yours I'm keeping. They're already packed away."

I laughed a little before it turned into a sob. We spent the rest of our time packing in silence.

An hour later, and we were both ready to go, and we knew our parents would be near done checking us out. We had all of our bags by the door, and we faced each other in the middle of the room. We didn't say anything, just studying each other like we had on the first day from across the yard. Sara spoke first.

"I'm sorry," she said. "I just...I can't hold onto false hope. I can't keep you from finding someone that isn't a lost cause. I need to accept that I wasn't made to be who I am. I can't be happy. I don't...I don't even know how. Good luck, Tegan."

She started to walk out the door, and logically, I should have let her. She didn't want to fight. Why should I? She didn't care how much she was hurting me. Why should I care about not hurting her? I wanted to let her walk out the door and never have to deal with her again.

I couldn't, though. I wanted to be able to stay angry at her, but I couldn't. I knew that once she was able to get into a healthier place, she would be able to be happy. That was all I could care about. It was like she was a part of me, and she had to be okay for me to be able to be okay. I couldn't let her leave like this.

"Sara, wait!" I said, and she turned around. "Wait just one minute. I'm so sorry I snapped. I got scared. I don't want to lose you. I love you so much. I...I guess if you can't hold on, if it's too painful for you to try, then I won't make you, but know that I'm going to find a way to make sure you're safe. I'm going to do everything I can to make sure you have a shot at happiness, whether I get anything out of it or not."

Sara rolled her eyes. "Tegan, stop trying to win me over."

"I'm not," I said. I really wasn't. "I just...you need to know that someone loves you. Even if you go back to the bristly, super-guarded, super-closeted Sara that I met when I got here, I still love you. Even if your parents don't, I do. Even if every other person in the world turns their backs on you, and you've become the saddest, loneliest, angriest person in the world, I will still be there for you. I will still love you."

"You say that now, Tegan."

"And I'll mean it forever."

"No, you won't!" She was in my face again. "You won't still love me if I don't get better. You won't still love me if I don't stay with you!"

"I know why you feel that way," I said. "I'm different than your family, though. I just love you, and I respect that you don't think I'll still love you, but I will. Sara...short of something really crazy, there isn't a thing you can do to push me away forever."

She shut her eyes and put her fingers on the bridge of her nose. She shook her head a few times before she started digging through one of her bags. I didn't know what was happening...was she giving me my clothes back? It was the only thing I could think of, but it seemed too out-of-the-blue. She was pushing things around like she was looking for something in particular.

When she pulled out her diary and a pen, I was even more confused. She went to the desk, opened to the back page, then scribbled something down. I was about to ask her what she was doing when Sara grabbed one of my hands and put the book into it. I didn't understand, and Sara could tell.

"I want you to have it. For those moments...this isn't going to be easy. I'm not going to be easy. When there are times that you want to give up on me, read that, and remember..." Her voice caught in her throat.

"Remember what, Sara?" I asked. "I mean, you said this was your space. You said that this was important to you. Why give it to me?"

She took a breath and went on. "Remember that this is hard for me. Remember that this will get better over time. I've gotten better. I just don't know how to love and trust people very well. I'm learning with you. And that book was extremely important to me this summer, but I want you to be able to have a piece of me when I'm not around."

"What does that mean?" I asked. "What do you mean with all of this?"

"I wrote my number in the back," she said.

"Wait." Had I heard her right? Had she really given me her number? "What?"

"And my address and e-mail. I don't do social media, because it's too risky." She smiled at me, even though there were tears in her eyes. "I want to try. For you, and for me. I don't want to live a lie. I love you, Tegan. I want to be with you. I want to be yours, even if it means the world's most complicated long distance relationship. I want this."

I smiled and pulled her into a hug. "Yes. Yes, Sara."

She was giving me a way to find her after we left this place. She was letting us try to make this work. This was the moment that we'd needed. I knew that this wouldn't be smooth from here on out, but I knew at least that I wasn't losing her, and that she wasn't giving up.

"I wish you hadn't been so stubborn and let me touch you," I said into her shoulder, and she laughed. "I'll give you my number, too."

I felt her nod. "Rip out a page, and write it down." I did what she said, and she folded up the paper as small as she could and put it into her sock. We both looked at each other again before I leaned in for one more kiss. It went from slow to desperate almost immediately. Sara's hands gripped at my shirt, and my hands were on her hips, pulling her closer to me. When we heard voices passing by the door, we knew all of the parents were coming, and we pulled apart.

"We'll see each other again," I told her as I helped her look decent. "We'll be happy together."

"Okay," she said. "I believe you."

We grabbed our bags and walked out of the cabin. Jeremy was waiting outside, and Sara walked off with her parents. I watched her as she got into the car, my stomach feeling queasy as they started to pull away. I didn't want to let her go with them, but I had proof that we could make it tucked under my arm. She'd given me the entire diary. Every thing she'd thought, what I'd already read and what was new, she gave me to keep forever. She wanted us to be together. She wanted to give this a try.

"Sorry to interrupt your obvious staring," Jeremy said, "but I need your number. I plan on bothering you all the time, now."

I smiled at him. After Sara, Jeremy was the best thing that happened to me from coming to this hellhole. I punched it into his cellphone.

"Just call that number right now, and I'll save it when I get home to my cell phone." I gave him a hug.

"You're the best fake girlfriend ever," he said so our parents wouldn't hear. "Good luck with Sara."

"Thanks," I said. Even if things were getting better, it didn't mean that they were already there. I needed all the luck I could get. I gave him a kiss on the cheek for good measure. Would have been on the lips, but I wanted Sara to be the last person that I'd kissed.

My dad loaded all of my things into our car. I got into the back seat and flipped to the last page of the book and traced my finger over Sara's writing. My parents eventually got into the car, and I closed the book and put it next to me.

"Well, we're glad that you got through that, sweetheart," my mom said. "I'm sorry that it seemed so...they seemed to be a little stricter than I thought they would be."

"Everyone was just a little on edge," my dad said. "Sara and Jeremy's parents all seemed on edge. I'm sure we seemed the same. It's not the most pleasant situation." He looked in the rear-view mirror at me. "But we are very proud of you for getting through that. You saved your soul."

I shook my head. I couldn't even think what Sara's parents were saying to her. I spent the entire ride home, trying to sneak peaks at Sara's diary, but I was paranoid that my parents would get suspicious and ask to see the book.

They tried to talk to me...ask me if I participated in any events, ask me about Jeremy (in the case of my mom, ask me a lot about Jeremy), ask me some about Sara. That made me the most nervous, because I got scared that I wouldn't be able to hide my love for her. I mostly just said I was proud of her, which was true. I just lied about the reason.

When I got home, the first thing I did was check my cell phone. I had a few texts from people here and there. Some really old ones from Lindsey, trying to get me to talk to her from before she got in contact with me at the camp. Some from random people who wanted to hang out or know where I'd disappeared to. I scanned them until I came across two from earlier in the day.

Hello my beautiful "GF" it's Jeremy. Only been 2 hours and I already miss u terribly. Lol Really shoot me a txt when ur home safe.

I smiled at that one and let him know that I was home and alive. The second text, though, was the one that mattered.

My parents don't know about this phone. I gave you my house phone number just in case, but only call this one. I'll do most of the calling. We'll have to get on a schedule. I love you, and I'll call you when I can. Don't worry if it's not until the weekend :)

I smiled and swallowed the lump in my throat. We could make it. I didn't know how, but I knew we could.