Forever Has to Start Somewhere

Chapter 30: Born This Way

"Is he still threatening to put his fist through my face?" Finn whispered.

He was leaning against the counter in the doctors office, his expression a mixture of guilt and nervousness.

Rachel sent him a look that portrayed her frustration, both at his stupid question and the boy still shouting into her ear, without saying anything.

Finn's voice was weak as he mumbled, "Still threatening to put a fist through my face then."

"Kindly be quiet, Finn," Rachel said.

Jesse let out a growl over the phone. "Why is he even there? I thought you called your fathers."

"I did, but they're still fifteen minutes out and he felt guilty about breaking my nose."

"We don't know it's broken," Finn argued.

Just as he spoke, the door opened and the doctor walked in with her x-ray. As he crossed to pin it up, he said, "It's definitely broken."

Rachael heard the twin sounds of Jesse growling and Finn groaning as he folded further into himself.

"I'll call you when the appointment finished," Rachel promised.

"Absolutely not," Jesse said. "Put me on speaker. I want to hear what the doctor has to say."

Rachel gave a soft sigh as she complied. She was usually flattered by how protective of her Jesse was, but right now it wasn't really helping the situation. He was just making Finn even more nervous and Rachel didn't see that going well. With her luck, it would just make Finn more nervous the next time they practiced and she'd end up with a black eye to go with her nose.

"It's a clean break, so I won't have to set it," the doctor said. Rachel clicked the phone onto speaker and set it down on her thigh. "Considering your deviated septum, I'd consider this an opportunity for a little vanity adjustment."

She heard Jesse suck an angry huff of air as she let out a soft, "Are you suggesting that I get a nose job?"

"Your sixteen right?" Rachel nodded, not quite sure how else to respond. "That's when I gave my daughters theirs. It's like a right of passage for Jewish girls."

"First of all, I like how I look," Rachel said.

The doctor's gaze slid to Finn. "She your girlfriend?"

As Finn was stammering for a reply, Jesse hissed out, "No! She's mine."

The doctors eyes slid to the phone, lit up with the picture of Jesse she used as his contact photo. An eyebrow arched as they darted back up to look at Rachel.

"Second of all," Rachel cut in, hoping to placate the situation a bit, "I don't want to do anything that's going to effect my voice. My Broadway career depends on it."

"Y-Yeah!" Finn piped in. "We've got a big show choir competition coming up and Rachel's kind of our best singer."

"Doesn't impact the voice. That's just a myth. The fact is opening up that septum might allow you to take in more breath which would lead to bigger belts on your high notes."

Rachel faltered.

Knowing exactly what she was thinking even without being there to see her, Jesse let out an exasperated huff. "Rachel, you can not seriously be considering this. You are already a suburb singing, you don't need a nose job to achieve that. And think about Barbra!"

"Barbra is great," the doctor agreed, "but she was also one in a million. The fact is, if you want to be an actress you may want to consider looking and sounding the best that you can. I've got an appointment open next week, I can sign you up."

When people tried something with Jesse, he let it hit him and then bounced back with an insult at least three times worse.

He knew he was charming, talented, and just a little cruel when he wanted to be. He was fine with that, proud of it even, and he didn't give a single fuck what people thought about him.

Rachel Berry happened to be one of the very few people who managed to strip Jesse down to the most basic of his emotions.

Nothing made that quite as apparent to Brody as watching Jesse walk around their dorm room in a rage.

His blue eyes were glacier blue. His hands were fisted so tightly that his knuckles were white and Brody could see little crescents of blood where his nails were digging into his palms.

"I can't believe she's honestly thinking about this!" Jesse roared. He was pacing from the window to the door, each step slamming against the ground so hard Brody was amazed the boys in the dorm below them hadn't come up to complain yet. "Doesn't she realize how beautiful she is? How talented?"

Having spent the last thirty minutes listening to Jesse say the exact same thing in different words, Brody was sick enough of it to finally speak up. "Have you ever considered that she doesn't?"

"Why wouldn't she? I tell her all the time!"

"Well honestly, I'm pretty sure that's half the problem."

That seemed to stop Jesse in his tracks. He turned his eyes still filled with rage, to Brody. "What do you mean?"

"I'm just saying is that Rachel's self confidence can't revolve around you," Brody explained. "You can tell her she's beautiful every second of every day, but it won't do any good unless she believes it herself."

Jesse stared at him for another minute. He seemed to be turning Brody's words over in his head. At last he said, "So I'm just supposed to let her do it?"

"I'm not saying that. I'm saying that you have to think about how Rachel actually feels about herself, not just how you've told her to feel. I'm saying that she needs confidence in something other than just her voice and you can't be that thing. Even if your married to her ten years from now, you won't be around to tell her she's beautiful every day."

"You can't just let her do this to you, David!"

Karofsky let out a sigh as he slammed his locker door shut.

He was getting used to Rachel's sudden appearance at his locker. He'd even come to like them, on the occasions when she wasn't being overbearing and naggy. Today didn't happen to be one of those days.

"What Santana's doing isn't going to matter if you let it out in the middle of the hallway," Karofsky snapped at her.

"I would never out you like that!" Rachel hissed, looking around them before whispering the words. "I told you when I found out that I wouldn't do that to you! It's something you have to decide for yourself."

"Then why are we having this conversation?" he questioned. "Because I'm not ready and the only way to keep everyone from finding out is to give Santana what she wants by running for Prom King with her."

"Because she shouldn't be able to hold it over your head either!" she argued. She was following him down the hallway now, even though her fifth period was in the opposite direction. "You're allowed to keep it a secret if you want because it's private, but it's not some dirty skeleton in the closet either. You shouldn't have to pretend to be something you're not. You don't have to change yourself."

"Yeah, well, your nose isn't some dirty skeleton in the closet either but that's not stopping you from changing it."

"That's the same!"

"You're right," he agreed. He stopped to turn and look at her. "Because you don't have to worry about your parents kicking you out or losing all your friends or having the shit kicked out of you in a dark alleyway just because your nose is a little on the big side."

He couldn't even bring himself to care about how wounded she looked as he stalked away.

She didn't follow after him this time.

Jesse (11:13am):

You're sure you and Puck have it handled?

Kurt (11:30am):

If there's anyone that can get through to Rachel, it's Barbra Streisand.

Jesse (11:34am):

That's a yes...?

Kurt (11:37am):

That's a yes.

Kurt (11:38am):

You're sure you don't want to Facetime or call or anything while we're doing it?

Jesse (11:41am):

Do I want to? Absolutely. But Brody pointed out that this was probably something I should step back from.

Kurt (11:45am):

Alright.

I'll let you know how it goes.

On Friday, Jesse was seated in dining hall with Adam and Brody when Rachel sent him the picture.

It was a selfie of her, Kurt, and Puckerman in their Born This Way shirts. Puck had a lecherous grin on his lips, his arm angled in a way that made it clear his hands were definitely trying to get somewhere they shouldn't have been. Kurt had his nose scrunched up in distaste, but a glint in his eyes that made it clear he was more amused then anything. Rachel's head was thrown back in laughter, the little white strip that'd been on her nose all week finally peeled away.

"Everything alright?" Brody asked around a mouthful of sweet potato fries.

"Relatively," Jesse said as he saved the photo. As he shoved his phone in his pocket, he added, "I'm just a little worried the sky might be falling since you were actually right for once."

En: I feel like I could give an excuse for not updating this, but that would be lying. The reason I haven't been writing is because I've been playing DragoN Age (2 and Inquistion) pretty much twelve hours a day and crying over Rainbow Rowell novels the other twelve (oh god really why does Carry On exist other then to make me cry over how utterly gay Baz Pitch is and why does Eleanor & Park have to pretty much ruin all faith I had in the world?).

ANYWAY! Things you guys may actually care about: I know there's not a lot of St. Berry in this chapter, but I thought that it needed to not be about that. One of my main problems in Glee is how dependent Rachel became on Finn's image of her and I didn't want her to go through that with Jesse.

Yes, I've said before that he boosts her confidence and that's true but it's also not the same. She can rely on him to tell her about her performances because Jesse is the only one she knows that can reliably give her that information. Santana and Quinn's opinions on her voice mean nothing to her. Her appearance tho? Anyone could judge her on that and she needs to see herself as beautiful without Jesse being there.

I hope that makes sense for everyone?

I will TRY not to go another month without posting, but I can't promise anything!