Sara and I were laying in the cabin on my bunk...except it was different. Nicer. The bed was a lot bigger, but Sara still had half of her body laying on top of me. Her mouth was on my neck, laying small pecks and licks wherever her mouth could easily reach.

"Sara," I sighed. I ran my hands through her hair. "Never stop."

She giggled. "I have to."

"Why?" I asked. "I miss you. I always miss you."

"I miss you, too," she said back to me. "But we'll find each other again. We already have once."

I nodded. "I'll find you. I'll take care of you."

I blinked, and she was half way down my body. Another second had her between my legs, kissing my thighs. She pulled away just enough to look at me with a smile.

"Maybe later. For now, I'll take care of you." She leaned in and took me into her mouth-

-and the sound of some asshole honking his horn outside made my eyes shoot open.

I felt disoriented. It took me a few minutes to realize that I wasn't at camp anymore...I was in my room at home. I felt so incredibly comfortable in my bed. I'd gotten somewhat used to the ones in the cabin, and this just felt like sleeping on clouds, as stupid as that sounded. The blankets were soft and didn't have holes. The mattress was firm, but not a fucking rock. The pillows smelled like a fresh wash instead of mildew and...

Sara.

It hit me that this was going to be the first time in months that I would spend a whole day without seeing Sara. At all. And I had no idea when I would see her. I hadn't really thought about how hard this moment would be. I'd been relieved that Sara was giving me a chance. I'd been relieved I'd made it out of there. It had occurred to me that I wouldn't see Sara for a while before, but this was the first time I really processed it.

I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to stop my tears from falling. I just wished that I knew when I would get to see her. I knew she was okay...we'd just left camp, and she'd texted me to let me know that she was alright. She'd said to wait until the weekend to hear from her again, and it was only Thursday. She would probably call the next day, when her parents were around less. Still, I had this nagging feeling at the back of my mind...

I took a few deep breaths to calm myself down. I would have to get used to this feeling, but I

would feel better after she called. I blinked and wiped my eyes before pulling myself out of bed. I went to the bathroom, took a shower, got dressed, then started making my way back to my room.

"Tegan? Is that you?"

I felt my shoulders drop as my dad called me. I'd wanted a little more time alone to wallow. I wasn't ready to act like I was cured. I wasn't ready to face them for an extended period of time, but I didn't have much of a choice. I picked up my head and tried to look happy as I walked into the kitchen. It was just my dad sitting at the table, sipping a coffee.

"Where's Mom?" I asked, sitting across from him.

"Getting ready. We're going out to breakfast. Wherever you want." He smiled at me, and I smiled back as genuinely as I could manage. It wasn't very convincing, though, because he sighed and took another sip of his coffee. "How was this summer? Besides Jeremy. I've heard enough about Jeremy."

I blinked a few times as flashes of Sara fucking me in the rain or while I was so sick I could barely breathe went through my head.

"It was good. Best summer of my life...in some ways."

He nodded. "Seems like it was tough for everyone to get through. Your friend Sara looked like she'd been through the wringer."

"She held up well, considering," I said, holding back my many defenses of her.

"I know, but everyone looked so...unfocused. Tired, maybe," he said. The word he was looking for was broken, but he didn't want to say it. He shook his head again. "My point is that I'm happy that you got through it. I know that it seems like we were trying to ruin your life, but we just wanted to make sure that your soul would be safe."

"We're both very happy for you, dear," my mom said as she walked into the room. "Your life may be hard because of this, but your eternity will be so worth it."

She kissed me on the cheek, and I realized that my face was going to ache from the smile I was having to force onto it. They were really trying to say that this was out of love. Maybe in their twisted minds, it was. That didn't make what they'd done any better.

"I picked up ham and cheese croissants and donuts," my dad said. He grabbed them from the counter. "I figured you could use some cheap comfort food."

I already had half the croissant jammed in my mouth before he even finished the sentence. I barely chewed before swallowing and moving onto a maple bar. I could feel my parents gawking at me, so I swallowed and took a much smaller bite.

"Sorry," I said around my food.

"Don't worry," my dad said. "An appetite is healthy, and you've earned all the donuts you want."

"For a while. Too much sugar," my mom added with a wink. I wanted to find it funny and drop into the banter that I used to have with them, but all I could think about was how much I wanted to get away. "Alright, your father and I have until Monday off. We can do whatever you want until then."

"What sounds fun?" my dad asked with a smile. "Movies? Mini-golf? Laser tag?"

"I think just sleeping," I said. "I want to sleep."

My dad's smile fell a little, but he picked it back up. "I understand. We've got three days after this. No need to jump right in. Get some rest. Take the day to yourself, and we can start catching up tomorrow. Sound good?

"Thanks," I said, surprised that it hadn't been more of a fight. "And thanks for the food. All I ask for today is that we have lots of food. Whatever I want."

"Is that what happened at camp? Didn't have what you liked?" my mom asked me. "I'm sure the food was pretty crappy."

"What little they gave us," I said before I thought about it. They looked at me concerned, so I laughed it off. "Ugh, I'm being dramatic. I just need rest."

I got up from the table without another word and went to my room. I thought they would follow me, but after a few minutes, I relaxed. I checked my phone to see if I'd missed any calls, but there was nothing. I felt obsessed...the weekend. I needed to wait for the weekend.

I spent a few hours trying to do something other than lay in the bed. I didn't want to talk to anyone but Sara or maybe Jeremy. I wasn't interested in what my sort-of-friends from high school had been up to. That whole time felt like a different life, and I'd barely been invested when I was seeing them every day.

I thought about calling Jeremy, but I was sure his parents were showing him off for the day, and I wasn't totally up for keeping up with a conversation with him. I figured I'd try to talk to him some time over the weekend. I watched TV for a while, but nothing could keep my attention. I heard my parents turn on the TV in the living room, and I gave up on trying to tough it out alone. I walked out to them.

"What's starting?" I asked as I sat on the chair by our couch.

"Oh, hey, kid!" my dad said. "Your mom picked The Notebook. It just started. Want anything? We have pizza and wings and a little candy-"

"You knew I'd leave if there wasn't food, didn't you?" I asked, sighing. My dad nodded, and I shrugged and grabbed a plate and some pizza. "Pass the popcorn?"

My dad smiled and handed it to me. I'd only seen this movie once before, and it had been because I'd had a crush on a straight friend that insisted it was the greatest movie ever. I didn't exactly share that opinion.

By the end of the movie, my mom was in tears, and my dad had his arm around her shoulder. They were such a cliché...such a happy cliché that I didn't fit into anymore. I didn't feel at home here anymore, and I didn't know what to do about that.

"That's so romantic," my mom said, dabbing at her eyes with a napkin. "He was with her until the moment they died. Isn't that romantic, Tegan?"

I didn't react for a second, just shocked that my mom would turn to me like I'd have an opinion on this. Did she think this was the way that our relationship would go, now? That we'd sit around and talk about boys?

When my mom started to look confused, I covered. "Yeah, it's cute. Sorry, it's just really making me miss Jeremy."

My mom put her hand on her chest. "Oh, sweetheart. First love is so strong."

"I'd say love is probably a little strong to be using for Jeremy," my dad cut in. "They just met."

"They knew each other all summer."

My dad turned to me. "Well, do you think it's love?"

They were really trying to be playful, but I felt more uncomfortable than ever. I was in an even more suffocating closet than I'd been in before they knew the truth.

"I could," I said. "He's sweet, but like Dad said, we just met. We're getting to know each other."

"I think that's sweet," my mom said. "You're taking your time."

I thought of Sara again, and how little time we'd taken to get to know each other...or to start sleeping together. It was probably because we'd been forced together so much. Besides, there'd always been something there between the two of us. I didn't regret how fast we'd gone.

I was hit again with thoughts of not being able to see her. I pushed them out of my mind as fast as I could. She would call me.

My parents and I talked a little while longer before we all went to bed. They seemed happy with the day. I was just glad that I'd gotten through it.

When I woke up the next morning, my stomach wasn't sitting quite right with me. My body was punishing me for filling it with crap right after it was deprived of food for so long. It probably would have been smarter to take it slow, but pizza and donuts and pasta and all the other stuff I'd eaten had been too tempting. I rolled over and checked my phone. I had a new message, and got excited, but deflated a little bit when I realized it was Jeremy.

Sup, bitch? How r u? Everything ok w/the fam?

He'd sent it an hour ago, so I decided to text him back.

Its weird and Im bloated. Too much food.

I heard a knock on my door, then my dad was walking into my room. I jumped and turned over in the bed, having flashes of the counselors busting in our room to drag us out to see Johnny and Mike get taken away. When I wasn't dreaming of Sara, I was having nightmares about them coming in to take me...or worse, Sara.

"Don't come in!" I yelled, and he backed out.

"I'm sorry!" he yelled through the door. "Were you getting dressed?"

I swallowed a few times before saying, "Yes." I knew he wouldn't understand the truth.

"Alright, well, I was wondering if you wanted to do anything today?"

I groaned into my pillow. I really wanted to want to go out with them, but all I wanted to do was sleep and know when I would be able to see Sara again. It was making me nervous that she hadn't texted. She had to know that I would worry. Going out with my parents was the last thing I wanted to do, but we'd always been an active family, and they were determined to act like everything was normal.

"Have anything in mind?" I asked him.

"I was thinking maybe bowling? We used to have a great time bowling, and we could have some of those awesome hot dogs and chili fries."

My stomach immediately protested and seconded the idea at the same time. "Sure. We can do that."

"Great! Your mom found your bowling shoes while you were away. We can all wear our matching gear!"

"Can I not wear the matching gear?" I asked as I started actually getting dressed. I heard him laugh through the door.

"I suppose you're an adult, now. Just trying to have some fun."

I felt guilty for making him feel bad, which just made me mad. Why should I feel guilty? Because I don't want to pretend like they didn't ship me off to psycho camp because they can't deal with who I am?

I felt bad because I loved them. I felt bad because they seemed to think that they'd genuinely done what was best for me...for my soul.

I started thinking about what Sara must be going through. I briefly hoped that her parents were treating her well, but I was sure that the best they were doing for her was leaving her alone. I hoped that they hadn't figured out that she wasn't straight. I could see them shipping her off right away to one of those places where they'd do a lot worse than they had at ours. I couldn't think about that, though. It pushed my stomach from uneasy but manageable to twisting so hard I wanted to puke.

I thought about texting her just to make sure she was okay, but I got the feeling from her text the other night that it wouldn't be smart for me to start communication. Maybe she was worried her parents might answer it instead of her if it ever rang while she was away. Whatever it was, I didn't want to risk getting her in trouble.

Bowling with my parents had been predictably uncomfortable. It was one of those glow-in-the-dark ones, and everyone else was either parents with their actually-children children or kids my age who were using this as an excuse to feel each other up. I felt bitter with envy for both groups.

When bowling got boring (because my mom doesn't know when to lose so everyone can have fun-and she insisted on bowling for three hours), we'd moved over to the mini-arcade attached to the alley, and my dad proceeded to spend $50 trying to win me a $20 gift card from the claw machine.

"I really thought I had it the fifth or sixth time," my dad said as we walked out to our car. "If I'd just had a few more tries-"

"It was rigged, Spence," my mom said. She'd been saying it from the first try, and she was totally right.

"The claw wasn't built to be able to pick up anything but the little plastic balls that had those crappy bracelets and rings in them," I said to him. We got in the car, and my dad started driving. "Don't feel bad."

"But there were a few times that I got it to grab the card for a second or two."

"And you should be proud of yourself," my mom said. "I'm sure most people couldn't even manage that."

"I just wanted to win something for you, kiddo," my dad said, flashing me a sincere smile through the rear-view mirror. I wanted to be able to match it, but all I could manage was pulling up one of the corners of my mouth. I saw my dad's smile drop a little bit, so I forced mine to be bigger.

This was a lot harder than I thought it was going to be. I thought that I would just be able to hate them, but they kept being the same goofy, lovable people that they'd always been. I wanted to be able to love them like I had, but I couldn't trust them anymore. I just couldn't have them figure that out...or figure out that I was lying about Jeremy and camp.

I needed to start acting happier...which would be easier once I heard from Sara.

As we all walked into our house after picking up some Chinese take-out, my phone started to ring. I almost dropped all of the food as I scrambled to pull my phone out of my pocket.

"Tegan, careful!" my dad said as he and my mom tried to grab bags from me. I didn't care. I didn't care if it all fell to the ground if that meant I could answer the phone for Sara.

I finally got my hands on it, and I was once again disappointed. It was some random girl from school that I'd hung out with a few times at parties. I declined the call and shoved my phone back in my pocket with a huff. My mom laughed at me.

"Expecting Jeremy?" she asked, and I just nodded without a word. "Don't worry, sweetheart. He'll call you. He's probably just busy with his friends and family."

"Yeah, I know," I said. "I just miss...him."

My mom smiled and hugged me. "That's normal. That's healthy."

I knew that there was an undercurrent to her words. It was normal and healthy because it means you like a boy like a real girl should. I just set down the bags that my parents hadn't taken and started plating food. We ate dinner, chatting here and there. I said as little as I could without seeming rude. I ate half the food and snuck off to my room.

The next morning, I woke up to my phone ringing, and I was sure that it was Sara. It was Saturday. Officially the weekend. Picking up my phone from my bedside table, I punched my mattress when Jeremy's name came across the caller ID.

"Hello?" I answered.

"Not a morning person?" he asked, and I felt bad. He sounded sick.

"No, I'm not, but I'm sorry for snapping. You alright?"

"One or ten too many last night," he said. "I'm fine, though. Just plan on taking it easy today."

"Good idea," I said. "What's up?"

"Just checking in. I've seen all my fake friends, now. Figured I could make a little time for a real one." I smiled to myself as he kept talking. "My parents and I did the tour of all their colleagues and associates. I had lots of delicious food and amazing hard liquor, and I completely lied about how camp was and told them all about you. They're all dying to meet you, by the way, so you might get invited to a party or two before I run off to school."

"Joy," I said without any in my voice. "How's your boyfriend?"

"Haven't seen him yet. We're planning on something in the next couple of weeks or so. How's Sara?"

"She's...alive...as of Wednesday when I got home," I said. "I haven't heard anything since."

"I'm sure she's fine. Her dad is a pastor. They're probably praying over her, like, 24/7 right now. Or thanking God for her recovery." He got quiet for a second before saying, "Sara's life is very...unfortunate."

"You don't even know," I said.

"I understand your worry, but you need to find something to fill your time outside of stressing about Sara. Get back into your routine."

He was right. I needed to figure out what I was going to do next year. I needed to get back to playing and writing music. I needed to...well, I wasn't really interested in any of my old friends, so I needed to work on the new friendships I was building and would build. I would drive myself crazy if I was always worrying about Sara.

"Good advice. Are you following it yourself?"

"Are you kidding? I'm drinking and drinking and eating and drinking until I pass out. I'm so hung over right now that I'm questioning if I'm still drunk."

"I'm sorry," I said.

"It's fine. I'm allowing myself this time, then I'm straightening out...figuratively speaking. Becoming an alcoholic at 18 really isn't conducive to success. I'll get back into it sometime next week, but for now, I'm doing what I need to do to not feel like shit."

I felt sorry for and jealous of him. What I wouldn't do for a drink right now...

"So are your plans to drink yourself into a stupor all weekend?" I asked.

"No," he said. "Just half of it. The other half is recovery and food. Comfort food. Nothing has been sitting on my stomach right since camp."

"Same," I said. "But fuck if I'm going to stop eating. Any time my parents offer, I say yes, and I usually eat it all."

"It's terrible," Jeremy said with a laugh. "I'll probably gain 40 pounds...which should get me right back to where I was at the beginning of the summer, which would actually be awesome. How much did you lose?"

"I don't even weight myself. I never really have. I know it was a lot." I got out of my bed and looked at myself in the mirror. Bones were showing that never had before. It didn't look like I was dying or anything, but it definitely looked like one of those girls that people assumed were at the beginning of an eating disorder.

That didn't bother me, though. It was my face. My eyes were heavier. My skin was dry and pale in a gray-ish sort of way. My lips were chapped...I'd noticed it all as soon as I got back from camp and really looked at myself in the mirror in my "home" environment. I almost didn't recognize myself, but I knew it was me. I threw on some clothes for the day and couldn't help but notice that they didn't fit me like they used to. I sat back down on my bed.

"That's probably for the best. The numbers just make you feel worse. Although, I guess there are a lot of people that would kill to lose weight like this."

I sighed. "I know. That's awful."

"Alright, this is going to a sad place," he said. "I think that we should plan to meet up soon. We only live, like, 20 minutes away from each other. Half an hour max. I could pick you up and pay for everything."

"You don't have to-"

"It's not because I think it's what I'm supposed to do as the boyfriend, but because my parents are giving me money left and right."

"Well, when you put it that way, absolutely," I said. "I need to find out how short my leash is going to be, and then I'll get back to you on that."

"Your parents can't deny me time with my girlfriend," he said. "I might die. We might die."

I laughed. "Yeah, that's probably the angle I'll be taking. I'm trying to ease into it."

I heard a knock on the door, and this time, my dad waited for me to call him before he walked in.

"Hey, are you talking to somebody?" my dad asked.

"Just Jeremy," I answered. "He's calling to say hi."

"Oh, alright," he said. "Just wanted to ask if you wanted to stay in today. It's a little hot outside, and I know you hate the heat. We have Netflix, Hulu Plus, Amazon Prime, a giant TV, a fridge full of food, a freezer full of ice cream, and an excellent central A/C system. That sound good?"

It would be heaven if I were alone or with Sara. "That sounds great. I'm just gonna finish up here, and I'll be right out, okay?"

My dad nodded. "I'll make breakfast. Waffles with fruit and flavored syrup sound good?"

He knew it was one of my favorite breakfast foods. I knew he was trying to bribe me into happiness and forgiveness. I think he knew that things weren't right more than he let on. I nodded to his question, and he smiled and backed out of the room.

"That's gotta be tough," Jeremy said in my ear.

"What?"

"Well, my parents and I know how our relationship works. We love each other, but it's not like we'll say it. It's not in a real, genuine way. More in a social-requirement way, but it works for us. When I came back, I knew that everything would be the same, because them shipping me off didn't change our relationship at all. Your parents...they love you. They did this because they love you. That makes this so much worse. So much more complicated., because they think it's okay for everything to be the same."

I closed my eyes. Even Jeremy thought my life sucked.

"I'm figuring it out," I said.

"Alright, well, I have to let you go. I have a party to go to in an hour, and I haven't even showered. Take care of yourself, Tegan."

"Thanks, Jeremy. 'Bye." I hung up my phone. I checked to make sure that I hadn't gotten any calls or messages during my call that I hadn't noticed, but there was nothing. It was Saturday. I didn't think she would really have a chance to talk on Sunday, since her parents were the type to spend all day at church. I spent my day with my parents, watching cheesy movies and checking my phone for any signs from Sara. When the sky started to get dark, I got the sinking feeling that I wasn't going to hear from her.

What did this mean? Were her parents watching her too closely for her to get in contact? Had they found out and convinced her to stop talking to me? Had they found out and...done worse? Had she just decided that I wasn't worth the trouble? That it wasn't worth trying this hard for a girl that she met over the summer?

It didn't make any sense. That didn't stop me from thinking it obsessively for the entire day.

Sara was simultaneously the most difficult person I'd ever dealt with and too good to be true. Of course someone like that would eventually decide that I wasn't worth working for. She'd lost interest in me, or if she was interested, it wasn't enough to overcome the oppression of her parents. That, I could understand, but that didn't make it hurt any less.

Part of me knew I was working myself up. Sara not calling me one time didn't mean that she was leaving me forever. I was just so afraid of it...since I'd met her, I'd felt like I couldn't lose her. Almost like we were supposed to find each other. It sounded like a cliché, but it was true. I wanted her in my life so badly that it felt like a necessity.

I went to bed half convinced that I'd been forgotten, half knowing that Sara would get back to me when she could, either tomorrow or next week. She would have her reasons for her delay if it was after Sunday.

I barely slept.

The next day in church, I could barely keep my eyes open. Early mornings in chapel had taught me how to sleep without getting caught, but I couldn't even do that. Every time I'd start to fall asleep, a thought of Sara would jolt me awake. My parents kept looking at me, concerned, but I just shook my head and smiled and sat back up in my seat.

The pastor closed the sermon with, "Let us give prayer to the sinners. The sinners who are strong enough to fight. The sinners who are strong enough to change. The sinners who need strength to be like the rest of us just so easily are: normal. These people do not deserve our hate, as they now have realized that they are wrong. They are working on fixing themselves." He looked at me. "They deserve our pity. They deserve our support in their efforts to change. And they deserve our congratulations when they overcome. Let us pray for them."

Everyone dropped their heads, but I stared at the cross behind the pastor. If their God was real, he was a prick, and I wanted nothing to do with him.

My mom and dad decided that for our last day, we'd go on a shopping spree with no spending limit (my dad told me to "be reasonable, though" several times). Our town was full of all the major stores, plus a few awesome hole-in-the-walls, and I wasn't about to turn down a new wardrobe and music stuff. If I had to act like everything was fine, I was allowed to take advantage of my parents' wallets.

About an hour into shopping, my dad got a phone call. He looked at the caller ID and groaned.

"Church business. This'll take a while. You guys go ahead, and I'll call you when I'm done." He answered his phone and walked off.

"Everything alright?" I asked.

"I'm sure," my mom said. "Your dad got a new volunteer assistant to manage the church's finances, since he's been so busy at the accounting firm, and the guy is pretty useless. He probably just lost a paper or deleted an e-mail or something."

I nodded. We dropped into silence. My mom and I didn't have the easiest relationship. It wasn't bad, it just was...uncomfortable at times. We didn't have much in common, so we'd just have these long, awkward pauses before she'd end up going on some long speech about how I should be more serious about my education if I wanted to have a real job. It's not like we could talk about boys. The few times she'd tried, my complete lack of interest had discouraged her.

I was bracing myself for whatever was going to come out of her mouth when she said, "You really like him, don't you?"

"Who?"

"Jeremy. You seem to really like him. Your face...that camp obviously took its toll, but I can see in your eyes that you're happier than you have been in a while."

I felt annoyed that she was so eager to talk about my love life, but only if it was with a boy. Only if it fell into her strict rules of what a relationship was supposed to be like at my age. If she knew the look in my eyes was from Sara and not Jeremy, she would avoid this subject like she usually did. Still...it felt sort of nice being asked these things. It felt nice to see her get this excited talking about this stuff.

I'd never chased my mother's approval, but I didn't hate it. I always wanted to talk about this kind of stuff, but it seemed that I had very few people to really talk to or ask for advice. I decided to just switch the pronouns for once and talk to my mom.

"I do," I said. "He...he's so difficult, but in a good way. He's still fighting a lot of internal stuff, so we didn't get along at first, but a little time with him showed me he's kind, and I lo...like him a lot. He's a truly decent person despite the fact that his parents are garbage."

"Tegan, you probably shouldn't talk about them that way," she said. "But I understand what you're saying."

"He's really amazing. Great sense of humor...actually, he's really good with his words. Poetic, even."

"He sounds like a good kid," she said, putting her arm around me. "And like I said, it's obvious you like him. I can tell that you're getting yourself ready for an uphill battle, and you probably should."

"Thanks," I said, laughing a little. "Really encouraging."

"I'm just saying that relationships are work. You're young, so there's a good chance that this may not be the end-all-be-all for you, but it may be something really special. Something you can hold onto for the rest of your life. Who knows? Maybe he is your future. The point is that as long as you feel like it's worth it, you should work for it. When you don't, walk away. Don't stress yourself over it."

"It's just...I get afraid sometimes. Our relationship won't be easy for a while, you know? I get afraid he'll stop trying."

"Because you're both...recovering? You think he'll revert?"

I sighed in frustration. I could never really talk about this stuff with her. Still, this was as close as I'd been to relaxed since I'd gotten back, and it wasn't worth sacrificing that feeling to get into a fight with my mom that wouldn't solve anything."Yeah. That's what I mean."

"Don't worry about that. You'll be able to keep his attention." She meant it as a compliment, so I decided to just take it as one.

My dad called and met back up with us a few minutes later. We drove over to a few stores that were near my high school. As we were walking up the sidewalk, about to head home, my parents saw another couple from church, and I knew we'd be standing there for a while. I started looking around, re-familiarizing myself with the street I'd gone up and down to school for four years.

I looked into the coffee shop and saw Lindsey working at the counter. I shouldn't have been surprised. Just because I hadn't been around in a while didn't mean that everything had changed, but it was still jarring to see her wiping down tables and taking orders. I wondered how she'd been. I didn't feel mad at her for what she'd done. If she hadn't, I wouldn't have met Sara. I tapped my mom on the shoulder.

"I'm feeling a little tired. Mind if I grab some coffee?"

My mom nodded and handed me her card. "Get something for us, too. We won't be too long."

I knew that meant I had at least 20 minutes. When I walked into the shop, Lindsey was turned around, making someone else's drink.

"Hey, I'll be with you in just a sec," she said without turning to face me.

"Take your time," I said, and she finished making the drink. When she turned and handed it to the guy waiting at the counter, she caught my eye and smiled. She took off her apron and walked to me.

"Tegan!" she said, throwing her arms around me.

"My parents are outside," I said, and she jumped away. "It's okay. They don't know you work here, and they aren't coming in. Give me two black coffees and something sweet for me, please."

"Coming up," she said, putting her apron back on and starting on the drinks. "It's good to see you. I'm glad you made it out of there okay."

"Me, too. It wasn't easy."

"They didn't get in your head, did they?" she asked, and I shook my head. "I'm still so sorry for how I reacted."

"Don't worry about it," I said. "Seriously."

She looked down at the counter, but quickly looked back to me. "How are things with your parents, now? Did they come around?"

"I'm in the closet again," I told her. "Just trying to figure out where I want to go, and then I'm getting the hell out of here. Goodbye, outside of a call on holidays, Mom and Dad."

"I'm so sorry. Maybe they just need some time."

"Maybe. Doesn't mean it doesn't suck now." I had flashes of memories of jumping up on the counter and kissing Lindsey on the cheek. I missed those moments. Not because they were spent with Lindsey, but because they were before I got the baggage of that camp. "Thanks for letting me vent."

"No problem. Honestly, I thought you would be mad at me for a lot longer than this," she said. "I left you to get sent away."

"That's part of why I came in here. I want you to know that I'm okay with everything. You didn't know that would happen. Hell, I didn't know that would happen. While I wasn't thrilled to find out that you'd played me-"

"It wasn't like that," she said, and I put my hand up.

"I'm allowed to take a cheap shot or two, considering how cool I'm being about you taking my virginity while you had a boyfriend and, like you just mentioned, leaving me to get sent away."

She opened and closed her mouth a few times before saying, "Fair. Go on."

"The point is that we're really fine. I hold no grudges. That place was terrible, but it wasn't all bad, and it wasn't your fault."

She looked at me sideways as she put my drinks into a carrier. "Okay, I appreciate all this forgiveness, and I'm hoping we can be friends and all that, but what gives?"

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"I mean either you're a saint, or you got something out of that camp. Plus, you look a little bit like hell, but you've got a bounce in your step. Did you-" Her eye lit up. "Did you meet someone in that place?"

"Lindsey, I don't know if I want to talk about that with you."

"Oh, you don't have to give me all the details. I know we're not there, yet. Just...give me a little something." She was grinning ear to ear. "Please?"

I sighed. "Yes. I met someone."

She smiled and clapped a few times. "What's she like? What's she look like?"

I smiled a little bit and said, "Her name is Sara. Brown hair, longer than mine. Heart-shaped face. Strong jaw. Right around my height. Quiet, but not if you piss her off. We're still learning each other. Camp was sort of...intense for us, but she gets me, and I get her. That's all I'm giving you."

"Tegan, she sounds great. I'm really happy for you...but know that I'll be asking for more details later."

I smiled then grabbed my drinks. "Alright, yeah, I know." I motioned toward the window where my parents were standing. "I have to go before they come for me. You have my number."

"I do. I'm glad you stopped by, Tegan. Here, I'll throw in some coffee cakes for you guys."

"Thanks," I said sincerely. "And I'm glad I stopped by, too."

We smiled at each other, and I walked out. My parents talked to their friends for another ten minutes before we finally walked off and headed home. We all worked together to make our last dinner before my parents went back to work and I...well, I didn't know what I was going to do.

And, of course, it came up at dinner.

"This has been so nice, having these days together," my mom said.

"Wish we didn't have to go back," my dad replied. I tried to melt into my chair, but my mom turned to me anyway.

"What are your plans, Tegan? I don't know if you've missed orientations or anything for school, but I'm sure there are make-ups you can do. Have you looked into that at all?"

"I haven't really looked into anything," I said around a bite of food. I chewed and swallowed. "We didn't really have the internet at camp."

"Well the last couple of days-"

"Were for her to have a break," my dad said.

"I know. I know that she needed a break, but she needs to start thinking about her future."

The thought of trying to go to college in a week or two made me sick. Even if I did end up going to school, it couldn't be now.

"I'm thinking of taking a quarter off," I said. "Just to clear my head. I think I'll burn out if I go right in."

Both of my parents looked uncomfortable, but my mom looked like she was in disbelief. I kept eating.

"Tegan, I know you feel overwhelmed, but as soon as you take time off, you probably won't go back," my dad said. I held back the 'so what?' that wanted to come out of my mouth. "You need to think about your future."

"I am. I go now, I definitely end up flunking out."

"We can support you," my mom said. "Give you everything you need to be able to go back right away."

"What I need is to not have to go back right away," I said.

"I think maybe this isn't the best time to discuss this," my dad said. "Maybe once we're back in the swing of things, we can come back to this."

"Alright," my mom said. "Then what do you plan on doing while we're at work? Nothing?"

"I don't know," I said. "Maybe for a day or two."

"Also not worth discussing right now," my dad said. "Sharon, just stop."

"I do this because I want you to think about these things," my mom said.

"I do," I said. "I've just had other things on my mind the last couple of months."

We all got quiet and finished our dinners. My dad got up and went to grab our dessert.

"I'm sorry," my mom said. "I know I'm all over the place. I feel...guilty for not being more hands-on in your life. I don't know when to push harder and when to back off. I'm just...I never expected to have to deal with this. I never thought my kid would have to deal with this. I just want to help you."

What was I supposed to do with that? Thank her?

My dad brought out cheesecake, and I ate in near silence as they talked about work. As soon as I could, I went to my room. I pulled out my guitar and tried to write for a few hours, but my head was a mess. Sara hadn't called. It was technically Monday, and Sara hadn't called. I finally went to bed, ending my day as I had many in my recent past: crying.

As soon as I started to drift off, I heard my phone buzzing on my bedside table.

"Hello?" I asked, half asleep.

"I'm sorry it's so late," the voice on the other line said. "We don't have to talk long."

I smiled and sat up in my bed. "No, Sara. I'm fine. We can talk."