The next morning I awoke alone. Or at least I thought it was morning. Soda must have been at work, because it looked to be late after noon. The events of yesterday hit me like a ton of bricks. I can't believe I reacted that way. I can't believe I even thought for a moment that I could be normal. Normal people didn't cry on the most dangerous JD's shoulder, or have there legs collapse and have the most dangerous JD carry you back to your place of residence.
I felt horrible from crying and because I must have worried Darry and Soda so much. I must have worried everyone last night. I felt like a failure. I couldn't even go to the store without having me break down. I wasn't meant to be with people. I was meant for a convent. Maybe I could look into that. Soda would be upset and Darry would object but it would be for the best.
Yes, that's what I would do. I would give it about a month possibly more but if I didn't start fitting in I would look into other options. I would send the money that would have been given to them if I had stayed. That way Darry could still cut back on hours and relax a little.
I was filled with embarrassment. I didn't want to face anyone out there. I could hear the sound of the TV so that meant someone was home. Hopefully not everyone stayed home to see how I'd faired. I wished most of all that Dally wouldn't be out there. I didn't think I had the strength to face him right now.
Looking down I realized that I still had his jacket rapped around me. I blushed, I never would have imagined that I would have had slept in the most famous Hoods jacket the night before. I wondered why Dally or Darry or even soda hadn't taken it off of me earlier when I had first fallen asleep.
I was so embarrassed; I could feel my face growing hot, if I had been shy before gods help me now. I missed my grandmother; I would have gone to her when I needed advice. Though if my grandmother had been alive there would be no way that I would have been put in this situation to begin with.
I would have never met Dally. Dally; there were so many questions that filled my mind. Why did he come over that first night? Why did he help me last night? Why did he carry me back to the Curtis's? Why did he leave his jacket? What was that last look about? Just thinking about him made my chest tighten. I just wanted to sit him down and demand answers.
Maybe I would have had I been a normal JD. But I'm not. I didn't talk often and even if I did I wasn't about to demand answers from Dallas Winston I didn't have a death wish. I have to be patient if I wanted any answers. That was if I would get any at all. I couldn't see Dally sitting her down and bearing his soul now or any time in the near future.
Oh well I couldn't afford to have feelings for Dally, I couldn't afford to have feelings for anyone. I had to see if I could make it in this world, a world that wasn't mine, a world that might never be mine.
I really didn't want to move from my position in bed. I didn't want to face what lay beyond those doors. I didn't want to face the disappointment that was sure to be on there faces. But most off all she didn't want to get up and give back Dally's jacket. For a reason it gave her comfort and I wasn't ready to admit, even to myself.
Sighing I gathered my strength; I began to sit up when a knock sounded at her door. I sat up quickly and uttered a quiet 'come in'. Of all the things I didn't want to do, the one I definitely dreaded was talking. I just wanted to close my eyes and awake in my grandmother house, with my grandmother alive and making cookies for me in the kitchen.
Darry stuck his head in the door.
"Hey kid" Darry said with a small smile
I nodded in reply, Darry's face lost the smile for a moment but then it was back.
"How you doing?" he asked sitting down on the bed not to close but close enough to offer some comfort without touching.
I nodded me head and shrugged my shoulders I wasn't sure how I was feeling my mind was in a buzz.
He sighed quietly more to himself then me
"Are you okay from everything that happened yesterday?" he asked
I shrugged again. I wasn't but I didn't want him to know that.
"Rachel" he said trying to look me in the eyes, I looked away quickly. He sighed once more louder this time venting the frustration that had to have filled him. He stood up and walked to the door turning around he said
"I'm send soda in" and then he left
I felt bad about not talking to Darry. But I just couldn't I was mortified. I waited in silence not moving for soda to come in. I snuggled into Dally's jacket hopping I wouldn't have to give it up anytime soon.
I heard footstep right outside the door. I sighed knowing it was soda. I wished anyone but him would be come in I could never lie to him. He was my best friend. Maybe he'd let me tell him later.
The door opened and I turned my head away and looked towards the door. I heard the door click shut but instead of coming to the bed and sitting like soda always did he stayed next to the door. Oh he must be mad at me. Trying to clam myself down I took a few deep breaths and the turned toward soda.
Only it wasn't soda it was Dally. I heard myself gasp quietly I didn't expect this. I hadn't expected this in a million years. I was still wearing his jacket. I felt myself blushing. I just wanted to curl up and die.
The silence went on forever Dally didn't say anything to me he just kept looking at me making me blush. I wasn't used to being looked at, especially by Dally. I could feel myself getting hot. I wish someone had opened a window.
Just when I thought I was going to die of heat exhaustion Dally pulled up a chair. I silently let out a breath of relief. I still wasn't sure what to do. I've never had a boy in my room. Although this wasn't quite how it was suppose to go, I was sure of that, for what I'd heard from soda.
Was I suppose to say something first, because I was having the need to explain myself, in words. I wasn't used to wanting to explain myself in words. I actually had to stop myself, knowing I'd probably just mess that up also, just like I did everything else.
We sat in silence, with Dally staring out the window, which I found reliving that he wasn't looking at me anymore. Though I wasn't sure that he starring out the window was good either since his jaw was clenched and he was starring but not really seeing.
I couldn't take it anymore. I wasn't sure what exactly was happening but I had to say something, for once the silence was killing me.
"Hi Dally" I croaked, great I sounded like a frog. My throat was rough from crying.
My voice brought his attention back from the window. He looked at me with a raised eyebrow. That eyebrow motion made me blush. This brought a frustrated sigh from him which I was only accustomed to hearing in Darry.
"Look you fucked up big yesterday, letting them get to you, there not going to forget that." He said in extremely serious voice, like the one he'd first used that night at me house. His bad language slipped right by me for once.
I nodded in understanding
"No dammit don't nod you don't understand, you couldn't begin to understand what this means" he said pushing the chair back with such force that it clattered to the floor causing me to flinch, which seemed to make Dally more frustrated.
"Goddamit can't you just be fucking normal! You couldn't be a normal JD or hell even a damn soc no you had to be a weird chick who can't take care of her self. Do you understand how this makes everyone else life a living hell. That's all you've been is a problem, a burden, a never ending problem. You need to be shut away from the world cause I'm sure as hell not gonna stick out my neck like yesterday" his voice becoming louder with every word. Tears filled my eyes and began running heavily down my cheek.
"Dally what the hell do you think your doing?" came a voice from the door. I was to upset to see who it was.
Dally didn't say anything just pushed his way out the door, making the door slam against the wall. Making me flinch. God he was right I'm not normal. I shouldn't be here I'm just adding to the stress of everyone. My tears seemed to increase.
"Don't listen to dally, Rachel. He's just frustrated about things and he's taking them out on you" I looked over to see Ponyboy, my savior of the moment, standing near the bed.
I don't think I've ever been so happy to see Ponyboy before. I started to clam down. It seemed that Ponyboy's attitude towards me had left for the moment and I could be happy about that. Ponyboy picked up the chair that had fallen in Dally's speech and sat down next to the bed.
"Look Rachel we have to talk. I know this isn't the best time" he indicated looking at me tear stricken face "but I wanted to do this before everyone else got back." At the word back he smiled slightly.
"Darry and soda went to the store, the want to make you a special dinner. Two-bits out talking to shepherds gang about yesterday, trying to get rid of there interest in you, and Steve's covering soda's shit at the DX." He said explaining I nodded in understanding.
"Look about how I've been treating you the last few weeks" he stopped looking a little lost.
I nodded to him as saying you don't have to explain. But he shook his head in disagreement.
"No I do need to explain. It didn't have anything to do with you. It was all about Johnny." He said which floored me. What did Johnny have to do with me? He saw my look and began to explain.
"You worried me I wasn't sure what was going to happen, I'm still not but I was purposely trying not to get close to you. After all the shit, sorry crap that went down a few months ago I didn't think I could take anymore hurt. I wasn't sure if you were going to stay, if the court was going to let you stay and I didn't want myself to get attached. Which mad me look like a down right prick? I just wanted to say I'm sorry, and I'll be hear for you if you ever need anything" he said looking down at his hands with a relieved look touched with a little bit of shame for his previous actions.
I smiled softly and touched his hand lightly, trying to express some kind of comfort to him with out making myself uncomfortable.
"Ponyboy its fine, don't you worry we're fine. I understand, and in your position I can understand that. Don't worry all is forgotten." I said softly my voice still raw from all the crying from yesterday and from Dally's speech today.
Our conversation was perfect timing because only seconds after I had finished speaking the front door slammed open.
"Ponyboy we're home, come help us out." Called soda Pony smiled at me slightly and then left the room closing the door gently which was a relief from all the slamming going on today. I sighed and listened to the shuffling around the house from the Darry, Soda and Pony unpacking things in the kitchen.
All was quite and peaceful, which was nice, it was relaxing if I didn't think about all that happened from the short time I'd awoken today. I closed my eyes trying to think of happy and peaceful thoughts. I was shaken out of my peaceful thoughts by Darry's voice.
"HE SAID WHAT TO HER?" Darry yelled making me flinch slightly, but also smile knowing that no matter what he was supporting me. It also made me a little worried for Dally, once Darry got threw with him. I could hear Soda and Pony telling him to clam down and the slight murmur of Ponyboy explaining then I heard Sodas voice.
"I'll kill that no good son of a bitch who the hell does he think he is talking to her like she's one of his JD whores." I could hear him pacing. I couldn't help but smile, though I loved Soda and had faith in his ability to take care of me and himself I don't think he'd win in a fight against Dally.
Dally's presence itself is a scary thing and I've never even seen him fight. I was starting to feel bad again with the worry that must be on there shoulders. I needed to get myself together if not for me then for Darry, Soda and Pony so they wouldn't worry more about me. I silently got up a slipped Dally's jacket off my shoulders after his talk this morning it didn't give me the same comforting feeling it did before he stated speaking.
I gathered some fresh clothes and silently made my way to the bathroom to shower. I wanted to cleanse my troubles away.
1
1
1
Darry POV
I silent started to put away the food we'd bought at the store as Soda started cooking. I hope he didn't try to dye the food green. He needed to understand that not everyone enjoyed eating odd colored food. All the while I was silently fuming over what Pony had told me.
I can't believe Dally said all that to Rachel. I could kill him. But that wouldn't do anyone any good. Pony and Rachel would be put in foster care. Soda would be homeless. So I have to resist the urge to pound his face in.
Though I have this feeling that Dally won't be coming back here in the next few days I just hope Rachel doesn't take his words to hard. Dally had this gift of speaking without thinking just letting whatever feeling he was having flowing.
Suddenly I stopped. I looked around the kitchen and saw Ponyboy and Soda had also stopped what they were doing. We all looked at each other and smiled. Rachel. She'd gotten up from her room and was in the shower. Thank God.
Maybe things would be okay.
End of Darry's POV
1
1
1
After I had a wonderfully long shower and had gotten dressed I headed to the boys rooms to gather some laundry. Even though I was feeling terrible emotionally things still needed to be done. I couldn't ignore the things that need to be done. I need to act as normal as possible to keep the others from worrying.
Once the laundry was on I headed towards the delicious smell coming from the kitchen. I walked in and all three of the boys stopped what they were doing and looked up. Smiling soda got up and came over to me, hugging me.
It felt good to have some physical comfort that I've been used to; since my grandmother wasn't here Soda's hug was the next best thing. I hugged him back tightly. Glad he was my friend. When the hug ended he pulled out a chair for me and the small talk began. Darry began grilling Pony on his school work and I couldn't help but smile at the small attempt Pony was making to turn the attention to someone else.
Dinner was a rather uneventful; we all made small talk the boys being cautious about what they said to me. Though I wanted to say they didn't have to, I was silently grateful. After dinner was cleaned up we all settled in front of the TV while Pony did his homework and Darry read the newspaper. All was peaceful.
When the door banged open giving us all a fright and in came Two-bit.
"Hey Rachel I got you something" he said with a grin
I was a little weary but smiled and focused my attention on him.
"Close your eyes" He said playfully
I did as he asked.
There was some small movement and then he said
"Open them"
I looked at his out stretched hand and saw the fabric I had picked from the store with a half eaten chocolate candy bar on top of them. I looked up questioningly.
"I had the fabric from the other night and I got the chocolate bar for you but I got a little hungry" Two-bit said sheepishly.
I smiled at his kind thought and took his "present" of sorts and continued watching TV. Pretending not to notice the serious looks between Soda, Darry and Two-bit. I remembered Pony saying Tow-bit had gone to talk to Shepherds gang. I hope things were okay. The rest of the night was quiet with Two-bit making silly comments about the TV. Steve joined us after his DX shift, but Dally didn't make an appearance.
Finally it was getting late and I decided to head to bed.
"I think I'm going to go to bed" I said my voice startling everyone.
Darry sat forward in concern.
"Are you okay?" Darry asked with a glance to Soda
I nodded
"I'm just tired and want to get so extra rest, I plan to start a heavy cleaning of this house tomorrow" I said with a grin
They nodded and Soda gave me one last hug and whispered in my ear
"It's gonna be okay" I smiled into his shoulder.
1
1
1
Darry's POV
I waited a few minutes before asking Two-bit about Shepherds gang. I didn't want Rachel coming out in the middle. I motioned for Two-bit, Steve, Soda, Pony to head out onto the porch. Once everyone was settled I asked the question that had been plaguing my mind.
"What's up?" I didn't need to elaborate they knew exactly what I was talking about. Two-bit let out a serious sigh, one I'd never heard out of him before. Everyone looked grim.
"Well they didn't forget about her. If nothing else there more interested in her since Dally helped her out"
"Shit" I said everyone nodded
"Where's Dally" Two-bit asked
"I do…" I was cut off
"Right here" Dally said coming from the darkness with a fag in his mouth and black eye and busted lip as he reached for his fag I could see his knuckles were busted open and bleeding heavily.
"Damn Dally who won you or that soc you've been fighting?" Two-bit said with his usual subtlety.
A general laugh came from everyone.
"I didn't fight no soc I was "talking" with Shepherds gang. Tell them to stay away from my girl" Dally said
"What" Soda Yelled?
"YOUR GIRL?" I said when had that happened?
"Did I miss something" Two- bit asked looking extremely confused. If it wasn't a serious moment I would have laughed.
"I told them she was mine, they shouldn't bother her, but that doesn't mean they won't and she shouldn't be out alone" Dally said with his usually attitude
"Why I auotta…" Soda started forward Steve caught him
"After the way you treated her today?" Soda said Steve holding him back.
"Hold on now, Dally did this right no ones gonna go against him unless there stupid" I said trying to diffuse the situation.
Soda stopped trying to break Steve's hold
They all nodded in reluctant agreement.
"While don't you all head in" I said and any objections I shot down with my stare.
"I wanna talk to Dally alone" I finished as a way of explanation.
Dally stayed where he was, so I went down to him, away from prying ears.
"I had planned to beat you down when I saw you after what I heard was said between you and Rachel" Dally had the dignity to look away his stance becoming tense as though he still expected me to fight him.
"But after what you did I'm reconsidering. We'll just see how this little talk of ours goes." I said looking at him for agreement he nodded.
"It was a nice thing you did telling them Rachel's your girl, I know you didn't mean it in the way they think, but you know that you can't be seen with another girl till this blows over, if they see you with another chick they'll think Rachel's free game. You understand that right?" I said looking him dead in the eyes
Dally nodded and said "I know"
I nodded and continued, "Good, now I know this is your way of apologizing for earlier today" I stopped when he scuffled
"You don't have to be that tough guy with me, I won't think any less of you" I said again looking him straight in the eyes.
"Like I was saying I know this is an apology, but I'm not gonna tell Rachel about this, it would weird her out, stress her out and I don't want her worrying. So if this is an apology to her your gonna have to find another way. I appreciate what you're doing. The sacrifice your making with you life to stay away from Sylvia and all those other girls, but no if you try anything with her there isn't a person in this world that could stop me from making you hurt." I finished
"You dig" I said using Dally's signature phrase to show I was serious
"Yea I dig" Dally said with a smirk, but I could tell he knew and understood the truth of what I was saying.
"Good now come on in and let's get you cleaned up. We have some dinner left if you're hungry." I said starting into the house.
Thing were gonna be okay. They had to be.
End of Darry's POV
I woke up later that night, not sure what had woken me. I looked around and say a person standing at the window starring out lost in thought. From this angle I couldn't see who it was.
"Ekk" I said automatically alerting the person I was awake.
The person turned and glanced at me. It was Dally. I can say without a doubt I've never seen a more beautiful sight then Dally standing there with the moonlight washing over his skin. It took my breath away.
1
1
1
123456789
I'm sorry that it took me so long to post this. I'm also sorry for the long length of it. But know that this is my favorite story of them all and I love reading this as much I as love writing it. I've just had a lot going one. Hope you like it.
Let me know if I should continue?
Thanks for your patience.