A/N: I am sorry for the long wait, but I hope you all are still interested in this story! And thank you so much for the reviews! It means the world to me.

It was once said that:"Depression is a bit like walking down a long, dark corridor never knowing when the light will come on."

Bonnie Bennett had been in a mild state of depression for a couple of months now. Ever since the accident that took the life of her unborn baby and Stefan, she hadn't really found the strength to move on. She wanted to find comfort in Damon, but he was on the verge of destruction and seemed to want nothing to do with her. They hadn't officially called it quits, but they hadn't been spending time with one another ever since they had a really bad argument a month ago.

She tried to be there for him just like he was for her, but he stated over and over again how much he didn't want or need her help. And with everything going on, she couldn't tell him about the baby because at the end of the day, no matter what happened between them, she didn't want him to fall further down a hole he may never be able to get out of.

Walking out of the room she spent three days out of the week for an hour in, she Klaus sitting in the waiting room.

He stood up when he saw her.

"You didn't have to come." She smiled.

"And listen to the rage of Rebekah. I think not." Klaus may be an experienced killer, but not even he felt like getting on his sister's bad side. Between the both of them they could start another world war. "Plus, I do not mind."

As Klaus began to drive her back to her apartment, Bonnie couldn't help but ask. "Have you talked to him today?"

"I have." He answered, glancing over at her for a moment.

"Is he…? The words wouldn't leave her mouth. She had asked so much about him lately, hoping that at least someone had spoken to him throughout the days.

"He's Damon. He's stubborn, hard headed, and can't handle internal pain like most. He shuts off, trying to mask his pain with everything else but facing it."

Bonnie had definitely learned that about him. "I just wish he would talk to me…let me in even if it's a little." She paused. "I want to be there for him. I want… I want to help him get through it all."

"Usually I try to stay out of everyone's business, but I see the path Damon is on, and it looks to me that it will get worse before it gets better. So, I'm saying that Rebekah may be right… maybe you should tell him that you are going to therapy and the reason why you are…"

Bonnie sighed. "That will just make him worse. He lost Stefan….his brother… I don't know how he'll be able to get back from that. And if he were to find out that he lost a child too… I just don't want him to fall any further. I don't want him to die. I couldn't bare it if anything happened to him."

He touched her hand. "Trust me, Bonnie, I wouldn't allow that." He would never allow Damon to die. They had already lost too many people in their family. Between, Kol, Finn, and Stefan; no one could bear to lose anyone else.

As she smiled at Klaus, she held onto his hand a little tighter, allowing him to provide any ounce of strength and support he could.

It didn't take long for the past to rear its ugly head in her memory as she thought about the last night she saw Damon.

Past- One Month Ago.

"What's Damon doing here?" Caroline asked, as she and Bonnie spotted Damon walking into Club Elite. She, Caroline, Katherine, and Vicki decided that they needed a night out with all the stress going on in everyone's lives. Rebekah would have come but her brothers and Marcel still thought that she didn't need to be out just yet. And by just yet, they meant for the rest of her life.

Bonnie's heart jumped in her chest when she saw Damon walk in with his old friend Enzo. It wasn't just the fact that he told her that he was probably going to stay at home tonight and get some alone time, but the fact that she could tell that he was plastered.

When he spotted her and began walking towards her, it felt as if he were undressing her with his eyes. He immediately pulled her to him, giving her a deep kiss that smelled of weed and bourbon. It wasn't pleasant in Bonnie's mouth; especially when she was clean again.

She pushed him off a little. "Damon, what are you doing?"

"Baby I missed you." He pulled her even closer. "I know I said some cruel things to you a few weeks ago." Bonnie tried to forget how he told her to fuck off. "But I love you and I'm sorry. Dance with me." He grabbed her butt and almost picked her up on the dance floor.

"Not when you're like this."

Enzo gave him a shot of liquor and he took it right in front of her.

"Come on mate," Enzo slurred. "There are other girls here that are ready and willing." They looked over to see a few girls with barely any clothes on, signaling them over.

Damon shrugged and attempted to walk over there, but Bonnie grabbed his hand. "Are you kidding me right now?"

"Look, Bonnie I came here to have fun, not deal with your bullshit."

They ended up outside of the club, arguing with more than just their friends looking and listening in.

"Damon, please just come home with me, you don't have to go down this road again." Bonnie wasn't even trying to hide the tears that were forming in her eyes.

"Bonnie, I don't know how many times I have to tell you, I'm good! Maybe you need to get some stuff into you too, stop making you judge my actions."

"Look, I know you're sad, I understand that, but-"

"You don't understand anything!" he yelled, cutting her off. "You never lost your brother, you didn't almost lose y-" He paused.

And because she was so angry Bonnie didn't even hear the last part "I cared for Stefan too! And I lost Matt. I know what you're going through."

"Oh please tell me again how you've lost Matt. You're always moping around because of him. He's dead Bonnie, he's been that way for a very long time now and he's not coming back. I shouldn't have to share you with someone who's dead."

She didn't realize she slapped him until her hand connected with his cheek and everything went silent for a moment.

"If you just didn't need a ride anywhere," Damon broke the silence. "If you just would have taken a taxi, Stefan would be alive. If you would have told someone about Rebekah, none of us would have been in the hospital in the first place… everything would have played out differently."

His words cut her to her core. He blamed her. "So, that's it, you're blaming me for what happened? That's how this ends."

"That's how this ends." And then he and Enzo walked back into the club.

Present.

Bonnie wiped the tears from her eyes, as Klaus pulled up to her place. She and Damon hadn't spoken to each other since and nothing had really been the same either.

"It smells in here and it's dirty." Rebekah walked into Damon's apartment, stepping over his mess.

Damon just rolled his eyes and poured himself a drink.

"And you look like hell."

"I know you didn't come here to insult me the whole damn day," He snapped. "What do you want?"

"I wanted to personally make sure you're coming to my party in two days at Marcel's new penthouse."

He shrugged. "I'll swing by if I can."

The silence filled the air as she watched him take sips of his drink.

"I know why you never came to see me after the hospital." She began. "I know why this is the first time I'm seeing you since everything happened. I know why you barely say two words to me when we're in the same room. It's because I have his heart and you can't bear to look at me. And for that I am sorry. But I miss him too. He was my brother too." She walked up to him. "Will you look at me Damon?" It took him a moment, but his eyes finally connected with hers. "You're my brother and I can't have you being mad at me over something I couldn't control."

"I'm not mad." He spat through gritted teeth.

"Yes you are. You're pushing us all away. And you don't need to push Bonnie away. She loves you and…"

"Look, if you came here to speak on her behalf, don't bother. I'm a mess right now and Bonnie can do better than me. She's already fought her addiction, I don't need her here to see me and fall back into it."

"Bonnie's stronger than that and you know it. She loves you, Damon. And she needs you right now and you need her…."

"Rebekah, get out!" He yelled. "Just because you have my brother's heart doesn't mean you need to get into my business."

She took a moment to take a deep breath because she knew it was the drugs and alcohol talking. "No, it doesn't, but because I'm practically the only sister you've ever had, it is acceptable to do what the hell I want." She snatched the glass of bourbon out of his hand and threw it to the ground. "I know you're hurt… I know this is hard for you and it's only been a few months, but I miss Stefan too. I loved him too."

"Rebekah, just leave, please."

"You know Bonnie is back in therapy?"

That caught his attention. "What?" He prayed that she didn't fall off again.

"Yeah, because oh I don't know she was in a terrible accident as well, and she lost a baby…. your baby and…" Rebekah paused for a moment upon seeing Damon's eyes widen, and then she realized what she said.

"What?" It was as if he grew sober all of a sudden. "Bonnie was pregnant before the accident? Why didn't she tell me?"

"She was going too and then everything happened…"

"You're lying. She would have told me." And yet he knew Rebekah would never lie about something like that.

"Look, you need to get your shit together." She said, grabbing onto his hand. "This isn't you anymore, so please allow us to help you. I'm absolutely sure that Pearl wouldn't mind taking you in and keeping it on the DL."

Rebekah took one more look at him, watched as he began contemplating everything, and then left the building.

Bonnie had been at the party for no more than forty-five minutes before she was ready to go home. It's not that she didn't want to celebrate with Marcel, because she did, but with everything going on with Damon, it was hard to enjoy herself anymore. Also everyone was practically drunk, and though she could partake in a party and have fun without alcohol, she really didn't want to be around any of it right now.

As she stepped out on the balcony, an instant chill from the night New York air made her wrap her arms around herself, to provide a little ounce of warmth.

A familiar form caught her eye near the ledge. "Damon?" She walked closer to him to make sure she wasn't seeing things.

When he turned around, his eyes traced every part of her body. She was beautiful… glowing even. And yet so much had happened to her too, and he hadn't even taken that into consideration.

"You look nice." Were the only words that escaped her lips.

And yet he knew he didn't. He hadn't shaved in awhile, and he was strung out, especially because he hadn't taken a drink since Rebekah made a visit two days ago. He knew he was in the midst of withdrawal, but he had to see her tonight. He had to see her one more time before he did what he had to do. He needed to tell her everything.

"Beautiful… you look beautiful." His voice caught in his throat.

They were silent for a moment as tears began to form in both of their eyes.

"I've missed you." She admitted.

He walked up to her and touched her stomach lightly. "This is my fault…"

She grabbed his hand and though he tried to move it away she held on tighter. "No, it's not. It was an accident… it…"

"It's not fair…" The tears were coming out of both of their eyes now, as he cut her off.

"None of it is…"

"If I wouldn't have…If I would have found him first, none of this would have happened."

"What do you mean, baby?" she asked, caressing his face.

"I should have killed him like I killed Shane…"

"What?" Bonnie's eyes widened. "Damon, you're not making sense."

He didn't know why he was spilling the beans, but he had nothing left. "Klaus, Marcel, and I… we do things, we… we punish the guilty. I took Shane's life and I took Connor's and I should have done his earlier. He's the reason all of this happen."

Even though Bonnie knew he was telling the truth, she didn't move. She actually tried to reach out to him more, but he moved away.

"Why are you still here!" he yelled. "This should send you running! I'm a murderer."

"Keep your voice down," she whispered, not trying to add attention from the crowd inside.

"I got my brother killed! My child! You almost died! I can't…!" He pulled out a gun.

"Damon…" Bonnie jumped and watched as he put the gun under his chin. "Damon… please, please put the gun down…" She didn't know if she had a pulse right now. Seeing him this way was something she would have never imagined in a million years.

"Stay back." He ordered.

"Damon…"

"Everyone would be better if I'm gone."

"And what about me?" She tried being calm, but at the end of the day she failed. "I've tried to make you go away. I've tried to push you aside, but I can't….I can't make it without you. I can't… if you won't…. please put down the gun."

She didn't even notice Klaus, Caroline, Marcel, and Rebekah standing behind her. Elijah and Katherine stayed inside to keep the guest occupied.

"Damon, please give me the gun… please…" She was able to walk a bit closer without him saying anything or make any sudden movements.

Everything else after that was a blur. The gun ended up in her hand and then before she realized it, Klaus had a hold of it.

Bonnie's arms wrapped protectively around Damon as they both dropped to their knees and let the tears fall.

"In order to recover from any addiction, you have to surrender and recognize what you need to overcome."

A/N: Thank you so much for reading. That last quote was by Demi Levato. I really hope you all enjoyed! Please review.