To Rekindle Hearts
Chapter Three: Hurts Revealed
They travelled south and across the Forest River without incident. So close were the Elvenking's Halls to Mirkwood's eastern border that the three were out under open skies in a matter of hours. Ithildim laughed to see Legolas sprint ahead of the pair and whirl, with arms spinning loose and eyes wide. As Legolas took in the open sky and fresh air, rays of sun erased battles from his eyes and his hair shined like dull amber in the weak, early Spring light. Mithrandir shook his head with a smile, and he muttered something about wood-elves, but he was compassionate beyond measure, so he swelled with joy to observe such simple delight.
"Should I call him back?" Ithildim asked. They had been left further behind and his friend's form was blending into the tall, pale winter grasses. "He is sometimes distractible in the wilds."
"No," Mithrandir said. "This path is safe. Let him slip away from companionship for a while more."
Ithildim nodded, but then turned his eyes to Mithrandir as they walked. "If this path is known to be safe," he said, "why then did you ask for our guidance?"
Mithrandir shrugged, and ran a callused thumb across one unruly eyebrow.
"You both bore heavy weights on you; I could sense your desperation this time before I even came upon you in the Halls. I felt you both needed reprieve from the expectations others placed on you, that you placed on yourselves, and that you also place one on the other," Mithrandir said.
Ithildim looked at Mithrandir curiously, catching movement out of the corner of his eye as Legolas wove through the grasses now back to them, holding something green in his hands.
"I do not need to explain myself," Mithrandir said, "but it is my responsibility to support elves and men and all free people in ridding Arda of evil. If I could ease your or Legolas' emotional exhaustion and thus increase your resistance to your hearts' pains, or to evil? That is good. So in rejuvenating guardians of Mirkwood, I am in part fulfilling what I see as my duty to the Valar—you have become my business. If a bit of open grassland, roaring rivers, and dealings with men—so full as they are with a frantic vigor for life—cannot rekindle a wild elf's heart in a world grown chill, then I do not know, at this time, what will."
Legolas was almost back to them now.
"Thank you, Mithrandir," Ithildim said, bending his head to him to show his gratefulness. "I would ask you a question."
"You may ask it," Mithrandir said evenly, watching Legolas draw nearer to them. He had a trillium cupped in his hands, roots and bits of dirt dancing from between his long fingers as he ran.
"This Watchful Peace," said Ithildim, and Mithrandir turned to him with considering eyes. "It is too watchful, and not so peaceful. Are we coming now to its end?"
Mithrandir watched Ithildim's dark hair play around his face as a wind came from the north, blowing in from the Grey Mountains. Mithrandir raised a hand and pressed his hat further down his head. Legolas had drawn even with them now.
"What do you think, Ithildim?" Mithrandir asked, looking away from the strands of hair and meeting now Ithildim's silver eyes. He held his gaze.
Legolas stood behind them silently and watched the exchange.
"I think that we cannot escape it, whatever is coming," Ithildim said.
"Perhaps you are right," said Mithrandir.
"Right about what?" Legolas asked, stood now closer with feet shoulder-width apart and with his hands still cradling that rare, tiny flower, clutching it to his stomach as if he could protect it from whatever was coming.
But neither Mithrandir nor Ithildim answered him.
"Escape what?" Legolas said again, this time a little impatiently.
Ithildim clapped Legolas on the shoulder, not wanting to dampen his friend's considerably improved mood. "We will worry with it later, my friend."
Legolas stared at Ithildim for a moment, deciding whether it was worth his effort to argue, but he settled on narrowing his eyes at Ithildim coldly instead, and finally nodding his temporary concession.
Legolas then turned to Mithrandir with a smile and held out the trillium like an offering. A separate leafy green plant hung from the underside limply, a casualty of Legolas' enthusiasm.
"Have you ever seen one like this before?" Legolas asked Mithrandir excitedly. "It is new to me. Also, I accidentally picked some valerian, but we can keep that for travel—it is a good herb. But this trillium! Never before have I seen such spots on the petals, nor leaves so waxy; I almost did not recognize it for what it was! Do you think it could be introduced into the Mirkwood or would it not survive its clime? Or perhaps it would do better there because it is shaded and more wet," Legolas continued, on and on and on, tripping over his words in his excitement over such small and unsullied and pure living things.
Ithildim rolled his eyes and let the words go on, eventually taking the plant from his friend's hands. He dug a hole in the earth with the tip of his knife, and slipped the little plant back into the ground, patting down soil around it. Mithrandir was talking now with Legolas about the flora in the lands north of Mirkwood, and Legolas was near bursting with enthusiasm and life.
Ithildim went to start walking again, and Mithrandir trailed behind him, but Legolas for a moment dropped to his knees, and touched the trillium with a finger, bidding it farewell. He rose and joined them, and it seemed as they left that the plant stood, improbably, a little taller than before.
Legolas was right, Ithildim thought, that this adventure was an escape, but it was a good escape, and a deserved one. Out here, Legolas was full of joy, and Ithildim himself felt unbridled and free, like he had not since before he had been made head captain for the Southern Defense. Ithildim had not realized how much the incessant darkness and never-ending duty had drained him of his resilience; it had over time warped his perception of the world and surely affected his rationality and decision-making in the field—he had a duty to his unit's safety to take care of himself and to heal.
Legolas sang softly as he walked, eyes on a point far ahead of them, and his hair whipped around behind him, snapping like a flag.
"Sing as much as your want," Mithrandir said to Legolas, "but focus on the path—we've a way yet to go!"
Legolas tried to mask how startled he was by Mithrandir's admonishment, but Ithildim knew him too well. He laughed and cuffed Legolas on the back of the head, looked at Mithrandir, and grinned.
"Thank you," Ithildim said. And he knew that Mithrandir understood he was being thanked for much more than just embarrassing his dearest friend.
"Wood-elves!" Mithrandir said, picking up his pace and using his staff to swat at Ithildim's legs. "Come, come!"
Yes, Ithildim thought again, he and Legolas would be stronger for this escape, as captains and as men—stronger in their bodies and their hearts and their minds, and so too, therefore, would be their soldiers and their people.
They spent their first evening around a merry fire, and Mithrandir taught Legolas and Ithildim much lore that they had not learned in their own home, and had them practice with him their Westron. The two elves likewise regaled Mithrandir with tales of their adventures and misadventures, and then more solemnly recounted difficult patrols they had led, and decisions they had made that dogged them still.
"I came in on the Elf-path," Mithrandir said at this point, watching the fire flicker on the faces of the elves seated across from him. "The woods southwest of your Halls are burned."
"Yes," said Ithildim. "We lost a village. Many of its youngest wood-elves perished by smoke or flame."
"I am sorry," said Mithrandir. "But it seems that it has been wet here?"
"Oh, it is now, but it was not a few days ago. We are lucky the rains came when they did, or we would have lost more trees and another village," said Ithildim. "Legolas was quick to motivate the villagers and organize an effective fire response once we were on site, but that alone would not have been enough."
Mithrandir consider Ithildim thoughtfully. "Was it your patrol who responded? I thought you were assigned to the South."
"We are. But we have for several moons been working on occasion with the Western guard to drive a clan of aggressive and northward moving spiders back from a spread of towns—including this village—and so had with them an effective relationship," said Ithildim. "At the time of the fire, our company was considering a spider nest to the southwest of the town—distinctly farther west than we usually travelled—and were there camped. Knowing of our intentions with the nest from Captains' meetings, a runner was sent to us from the Western guard, in the hopes that we would be there and provide assistance. The captain of their company had fallen in their efforts against the flames, and his second was out with scouts and had been delayed in her return. It was necessary we respond."
Mithrandir nodded, and then turned his eyes to Legolas when his voice softly rose.
"It was," Legolas said, considering his word choice. "It was a difficult experience for all involved."
"And this was but one week past?" Mithrandir asked.
Legolas had dropped his eyes from his companions, but he nodded curtly in response to Mithrandir's question.
Legolas untied his braid and ran his fingers through it for several minutes. Ithildim continued to talk with Mithrandir, about every topic—about the fire, and about the frequency of fires in the forest, and then about Commander Lostariel's decision to require the Southern Defense carry out offensive attacks on encroaching evil, instead of simply holding threats at the edges of their realm. Ithildim expressed that the shift in expectation had placed a different kind of burden upon his warriors. Legolas listened while braiding his hair back from his face, and eventually rejoined the conversation. Mithrandir listened to the both of them with openness, and he provided counsel and kindness late into the evening, bidding them seek guidance from Nienna to better understand the grief in their hearts.
They shared watches that night. In the morning, Legolas woke Mithrandir and Ithildim gently; he was singing in his mother's dialect, and he gestured to two mugs of tea distractedly. Slices of raw parsnip, beets, and celeriac sat on a cloth in piles beside each mug, with a wafer of dry waybread each. Legolas slipped his knife into his belt and flitted away, still singing, and Ithildim called to him as he began to run.
"Will you not eat?" Ithildim said.
"I already have!" Legolas said over his shoulder, turning his body to follow his head's motion so he ran now backward while calling to his friend. "I go to seek some interesting plants I passed in the night and will return shortly!"
Ithildim shrugged and settled down beside the doused fire across from Mithrandir.
"His capricious temper has not changed much in the decades since I last saw you," Mithrandir said, chuckling.
"Don't I know it," said Ithildim. He grinned. "He is hopeless to engage when we are out of the woods and under the stars."
"Thranduil must be very proud," said Mithrandir, and Ithildim rolled his eyes.
"He should be. But he is very glad to have an older son that does not confound him so," said Ithildim.
"And your parents, Anaron and Orodiel?" asked Mithrandir.
"They are proud, of course. When I get to see them. I am often away," said Ithildim. He poured the last of his tea on the ground and began to fold their blankets. "My father is not so proud of me, though, when I spend my time at home with him in the healing wards!"
Legolas arrived back shortly with several roots and bunches of plants tucked into his belt and grasped in his hands, and then he folded them neatly and packed them away into the small pack on the back of his belt. Mithrandir raised an eyebrow, and Ithildim said, "You found more valerian."
Legolas only shrugged and said, "Yes, heal-all and more! We should carry more herbs when we travel," and then he recommenced humming and packing up the rest of their camp, and so, soon, the three were on their way.