Secrets and Truths
From the corner of my eye I could see Dash following us everywhere we went. Every now and again I would think that we lost him or just maybe he was never real, but he always popped up eventually with a big smile on his face. I also learned that Dash sure liked to talk a lot. I wouldn't reply because I didn't want Serana to worry about the possibility that I had gone crazy after what happened yesterday, he caught on as to why I wouldn't reply just be the look I gave him. He probably also took it as a way of me telling him that I was interested in what he was talking about, but actually I was not. In fact I found myself trying to ignore this guy. Serana would ask if I was ok, I would just nod and smile and say that I simply had a headache. She would turn away with her brow furrowed and nod slowly.
From the back of my horse I could see Serana continually spare me glances. I tried to keep myself looking forward in an attempt to downplay my insanity. Despite my new friend I was actually able to get a full night of sleep and then some. Serana thought it necessary that I obtain as much sleep as possible so she let me sleep into midday. I shielded my eyes as I looked up to the bright sunny sky. I felt horrible that Serana had to travel on such a bright day. From the corner of my eye I could see her pull her hood farther over her face. I sighed and looked around in search of a nearby village, nothing, just the road and the snowy terrain of Skyrim. Just by looking at Serana I could tell that the sun must feel like millions of shards of glass continually scraping across her skin. Guilt was building inside of me at a very steady rate. There was not even one cloud in the sky.
We were on our way to the college of Winterhold and just thinking about going there my guilt shoot up through the roof. I had lied to Serana about the Elderscrolls, hers was not the first one I had seen. Being the dragonborn I did have one at my disposal... But I gave it to a grumpy librarian for safe keeping, he lived in the collage so that was convenient. I bit my bottom lip and tightened my grip on the reins as I thought of how I was going to explain myself... And how I was going to somehow convince the grump Orc to give back the scroll, he was protective enough over his books, and the scroll was obviously now his most prized possession.
"You're thinking too hard." I nearly jumped off my horse as Serana's voice broke the silence. I laughed awkwardly as I scratched the back of my neck and glanced over to Dash, he in turn looked at me and shrugged with a goofy look on his face. I scrunched up my nose at him. Or sure that's going to help me, i thought as I cleared my throat. I looked in the distance to see that Winterhold was now in sight. My stomach turned as I bit my lip and furrowed my brow. I needed to speak up now, I didn't want her to find out from the grump Orc who I actually was.
"Is something wrong?" She asked in a concerned voice. I looked over at her to find that she had been watching me.
"No..." I said shaking my head slowly but then I stopped and looked away from her. "Actually yeah kind of..." I said quietly as I bit my lip. I refused to look at her as I felt shame start to pour in on top of my guilt.
"Kind of?" She asked. I took a deep breath before I brought my horse to a complete stop. She looked at me confused and her horse did the same.
"I... I lied to you." I said as I played with my finger nails. Her brow furrowed and she cocked her head to the side.
"Oh..?." She said calmly. "About what?" She pressed gently. I took another deep breath.
"Remember when I told you that your elderscroll was the first I had ever seen, well that was I lie I actually have seen another, in fact I had used it and then when I was done with it I kind of... Gave it to a very grumpy librarian... Who lives in the college of Winterhold..." I caught my breath for a second before I brought my hand up to my mouth and began to gnaw on my finger nails. It was sort of a nervous habit of mine that I have tried so hard to drop.
Serana watched me for a second before she chuckled. I dropped my hand and looked at her slightly confused.
"Aren't you mad?" I asked her but she shook her head. "No Skylar, I'm not mad, I can't imagine why I would be. You simply made our search easier." She said as she ordered her horse to start moving again. I did the same and caught up to her so that we were walking side by side.
"Well there is another thing..." I mumbled as I looked at her. She arched an eyebrow at me as she waited for me to continue. "The librarian... He is very protective over his collection... The elder scroll is his prize I don't know if he would just up and let it go." I said as the corner of my eye caught Dash sitting on a snow covered fence with a purple flower in his hand. He brought it up to his nose and sniffed it before he waved to me. I arched an eyebrow slightly confused as to where he got the flower. I looked over to Serana as her laugh filled my ears. It made me feel as if I had butterflies flying around inside of my stomach.
"Ah my dear Skylar, today you will learn that I can be very... Persuasive..." She said as she flashed me a smile. I quickly looked away as a bright blush invaded my face. "Come on!" I heard her laugh as her horse began to gallop in the direction of Winterhold.
"Hey wait up!" I called after her as she raced towards the village.
When I finally caught up to her I found her already off her horse and standing beside it with one hand on it's saddle as she took in the village around her. I shook my head and laughed as I dismounted off my horse and walked up behind her.
"Someone must have been excited." I said with a smile.
"Not for this." My smile faded away at her words.
"Pardon?" I asked as I walked around her so that I could see her face. It was completely unreadable. But then it hit me, why did I not realize this before? In Serana's time Winterhold must not have been destroyed. I looked around at the half dead village. Most of the buildings had hit the ground years ago. My brow furrowed and I bit my lip. Only a few houses stood now, if one did not know any better they would not even consider this a village... More like a grave yard of buildings. I turned back to her to find that she had pulled her hood so far over her face so that I could not see her eyes.
"This used to be a mighty city..." She said as she started walking in the direction of the college. "It felt like just yesterday, and now it's all gone." I walked beside her not knowing what exactly to say. "It's so gloomy now..." She said as we made our way past what looked like the remainders of what used to be a beautiful home. Little bits of the walls still stood, and half of the fireplace. In the middle of the crumbled home was a single wooden chair that Dash took the liberty of sitting in. I furrowed my brow at him.
"What was it like?" I asked before I could stop myself. I cursed myself in my head, even Dash made a face as he covered his mouth with his hand. It was obvious that this was one of those moments where silence would have been best, but it did not seem to bother Serana, instead she turned to me with a small smile on her lips.
"Bigger..." She started as she looked around. "And a lot less... Crumbly..." She said as she gently kicked a piece of stone with her boot before she continued on her way to the college.
I nodded and followed her. I stumbled slightly as my own boot found a bigger stone beneath the snow. I regained my footing before Serana turned to look at me with a brow raised. I put my hands behind my back as a goofy smile found my face. Dash stood behind Serana laughing his head off. I forced myself to keep my eyes on Serana as Dash fell flat on the ground as his laughter grew to the point that he was snorting. I cleared my throat and motioned towards the college.
"Shall we." I said as I started walking.
"Uh huh..." I heard Serana say as she followed me. "You tripped didn't you?" By the way she said that I could tell she was smiling. My face burned with embarrassment.
"No!" I said refusing to look at her. I heard her chuckle.
"I believe you don't worry, if you had tripped I would have caught you." She said in a gentle voice. I turned my head to look at her as the butterflies began to dance within my stomach. "And that goes for the future as well..." She finished with a gentle smile. I could not help but to smile back at her.
"Hello Skylar." My eyes went wide as a familiar voice made it's way into my ears. I turned to fine Faralda standing at the top of the ramp that would lead us to the bridge that will take us to the college.
"Hi Faralda." I said with a smile. We quickly made our way up the ramp and stood in front of her. "We need to go to the library." I said with a smile. Faralda crossed her arms over her chest and smiled. "Let me guess... The elder scroll, correct?" My eyes went wide at her guess. She laughed and shook her head. "Urag can't stop talking about it, he says he knows that you will come back for it though." She said as she crossed her arms over her chest. "I mean he's right you know, you are the dragonborn, he says he will keep it safe for you until you need it again."
I smiled as I turned towards Serana who's eyes were wide as if she was surprised by something. As we made our way over the bridge it hit me. I may have told her about the elderscroll... But I didn't tell her what I was. I stopped walking and hissed as if I just pricked my finger on the end of a dagger. I turned to her and bit my bottom lip. "I guess I forgot to tell you that part." I said as Serana stood there looking at me as if I was not real.
She blinked a few times. "You're dragonborn?" She said calmly. Oh no... I thought to myself as I scratched the back of my neck.
"It's no big deal..." I said as I started to turn from her but she stopped me by gently grabbing my arm and forcing me to turn back to her.
"Why didn't you tell me..?" She asked me with her brow furrowed. Her glowing red eyes stared into mine, I felt as if she could see right into my soul, everything I was, am, and all of my secrets, it was like they were laid out on top of a table and she could see everything, it scared me. I looked away and bit my lower lip.
I felt her hand hesitate for a split second before she slowly released me.
"Let's just... Get that scroll." I said as I made my way across the bridge. I did not have to turn to know that Serana was close behind me. As we made our way through the gates I saw Dash standing there with a worried look on his face with his hands cupped together in front of him.
"She's worried about you..." He said gently as I walked by him.
It didn't take long before we were in the library and standing in front of Urag's desk. He sat in his chair and looked up at me with a smug smile on his face. It was slightly nerve racking due to the two sharp teeth sticking up from his lower layer of teeth.
"I knew you would come to your senses eventually." He said as he got up and made his way over to his cupboard. I watched him as I couldn't believe how east it was. He handed me the familiar scroll. It almost burned against my skin. As the weight weighed down on my hands I felt a heavier weight weigh down on top of my heart as I looked down at the scroll. I wanted to destroy it, I never wanted to see this thing again. The hate I felt for this thing I held in my arms was so great... And yet most of it bounced off the scroll and landed on me.
I gave my head a shake when I saw Dash looking at me with a brow furrowed. He rubbed his chin and cocked is head to the side slightly as if I suddenly became very interesting. I slung the scroll over my shoulder so that I could wear it on my back like a sheath of arrows for easy travel.
"Thank you Urag." I said before I turned away from him.
"What happened with the scroll?" Dash said as he walked beside me. I looked at him out of the corner of my eye. It sounded like he was giving me a lecture. He gave his head a shake when I wouldn't look at him. He ran in front of me and began walking backwards. "Something happened, I can see it all over your face." He pressed. I furrowed my brow at him as I watched him walk directly through the doors. I pushed open the door to find him standing there with his arms crossed over is chest. "I am not moving until you speak." I raised my eyebrows before I walked right through him. "Well... Ok... Didn't think of that." He said as he ran in front of me again.
"Stop." I said as I stopped walking. Dash had a look of surprise on his face. He did not expect me to talk to him. But the thing was I was not talking to him.
I furrowed my brow as we stood in the courtyard of the college. Students were walking about minding their own business, and the snow was falling around us.
"What's wrong." Serana said as she stepped out in front of me. Little did she know Dash was standing beside her with almost the same look on his face that she had on her's. I brought a finger to my lips as I looked around. I sensed something, something familiar. Then it hit me just as the sound of giant wings was heard. I looked up to the sky and my eyes went wide in fear.
"Dragon!" I screamed. And that was all it took, the students ran for cover leaving us with a clear battle ground.
Serana grabbed my wrist and began to pull me along with her. "We have to get out of here!" She screamed. But I pulled against her.
"If we leave it... It will attack Winterhold." I said as I calmly pulled away from her and pulled out my crossbow. I looked at her from over my shoulder. "You go, I need to take it down before it hurts anyone." I said before I ran towards the beast who just landed on the found with a mighty roar.
I launched a bolt at the dragon and it hit it square in the face causing it to cry out in pain. I quickly loaded another and hit it again and again. The beast shook its head and rawred as it charged at me. I dodged the attach and rolled out of the way. I looked up in time to see two ice spikes hit its neck. I smiled when I saw Serana run to my aide.
"Get up Skylar!" I arched a brow when I looked to my side to see Dash cheering me on.
"If I could I would be blasting the thing with fire right now! But I can't! So do it for me!" He screamed as he pointed at the dragon. I smiled and nodded as I put my crossbow away and began to throw fireballs at it. The beast screamed as it tried to decide what attacker to attack first.
My heart nearly stopped as I saw it aim it's firebeath at Serana. I took a deep breath "Fus Ro Dah!" I shouted sending a strong wind at the dragon. It stunned the beast long enough for me to jump on its back and stab my dagger deep into the top of its skull. It threw its head back and screamed sending me sprawling to the ground. I heard the beast crumble to the ground as its skin began to crackle with flames. I lay there on the ground for a moment as my body was consumed by light, I could feel my energy build as I consumed the dragons soul.
"Skylar!" I heard Serana scream as she ran up to me and collapse onto her knees beside me. The light around me faded as I opened my eyes. She placed her hand on my stomach and looked at me from head to toe in search of any injuries.
"I'm ok." I said as I sat up. She looked back at the dragons carcass then back to me. She opened her mouth to say something but shit it before she said it. She then nodded and helped me stand.
I felt a pang in my heart, I hurt her today. I sighed as we walked away from where the battle had been and towards where our horses waited for us. As I hopped onto the back of my horse I looked over to Serana. I lowered my head and looked at my hands before I clenched them into fists of frustration. I looked up towards the sky and I realized that the sun was going to be setting soon. I bit my bottom lip as we set of in the Direction of Dawnguard. I sighed when I saw Dash look up at me from the ground. He looked back at Serana then back to me before he went on ahead. My eyes went wide as i realized what he was trying to do. I looked back at Serana who had her hood over her face. I needed to fix this I thought to myself.
I knew that she was very deep in thought. Skylar kept falling back and on numerous occasions I had to slow my horse almost to the point of stopping completely for her to catch up. I learned that talking about her being the dragonborn was a very sensitive subject for her, but the reason why was unclear. I saw her take down a dragon and then take its very soul, I know without a doubly that she is indeed a dragon born, but why was she so ashamed to admit it. I feel as though she was trying to hide it from me, like she was trying to hide herself. I sighed as I turned to find that she had stopped completely and had her eyes fixed down. I shook my head and hopped off the back of my horse. It was night time now, maybe she was tired. I saw a small cave nearby we could take shelter in until morning.
I stood still for a moment and still Skylar did not lift her head. I bit my lower lip as I watched her for a few more seconds. Maybe this was the result of taking a soul, exhaustion. I walked over to her and looked up at her unreadable face. I had to rub her knee to get her to look at me.
"There's a cave nearby, let's stop there for a bit." I said. She didn't even protest, she simply nodded and hopped off her horse. I could not only see that there was something wrong but I could feel it radiating off of her as well. It was a very heavy feeling that was weighing down on her, but what exactly it was I was not sure.
We made our way into the small cave and took the time to start a fire. The sun was gone now, as I looked out into the landscape it was dark but my vampire vision allowed me to see all the deer that were roaming about. I rubbed my hands and turned back around so that I could see into the small cave, my eyes fell on Skylar. She sat close to the fire with her knees brought up to her chin. This sight made my throat constrict slightly as I walked closer. I sat on the opposite side of the fire. I watched her for a few seconds. I thought for a moment and opened my mouth to apologize for earlier but she spoke first.
"I'm sorry." She said staring into the fire.
I shook my head as my brow furrowed but she raised her hand to stop me from speaking. I clamped my mouth shut as I watched her think for a few seconds. "This scroll helped me in making one of the biggest mistakes in my life." She said as she motioned towards the scroll that laid beside her on the cold stone ground. I glanced at it confused.
"I did manage to kill the world eater with it... But I also killed a friend as well." She sighed. I sat still and watched her as I listened to her story. "He was a dragon that helped me kill Alduin... But he was also Alduin's second In command, so the Blades thought it necessary that he be killed. I tried to convince them that he was on our side but as soon as I turned my back they went on a hunt. They somehow lured him down near Winterrun, because of this I mistook him for a dragon that was bent of destroying people...but he was actually simply trying to defend himself. I used a shout that forced him out of the sky, as soon as he hit the ground the blades were on him and I realized my mistake." She looked at the ground for a few moment before she ran her hands over her face and sighed. "So I stopped using my shouts, and stopped being recognized as the dragonborn." She said quietly.
I couldn't take it anymore, I got up and moved around the fire so that I was sitting beside her. I bit my lower lip as I brought my arm around her shoulders. She went tense for a second before she relaxed, I pulled her closer, I smiled slightly as she allowed herself to lean against me. "It was not your fault." I said quietly. "You were trying to protect your people, you didn't know." I said. Nothing more was said after that. The rest of the night was quiet. I turned my head to find Skylar fast asleep, her head was of my shoulder. I gently guided her down so that her head was laying on my lap. I didn't want her to get a sore neck from sleeping in that awkward position. I ran a gentle hand through her hair as she slept.