Disclaimer: I don't own Castle, much to my dismay.
This is my first ever fan-fic, so tell me what you think and let me know if I'm missing anything. Thank you!
Throughout her experience as a cop, Kate Beckett found the ability to flash her badge and get in almost anywhere was one of the few perks of the job. It was with that power she was able to enter Castle's hospital room at 5 in the morning. The hospital itself, with its too white walls, reeked with the smell of death and disinfectant. It nauseated Kate, but what made her stomach really jump to her throat was the sight of Richard Castle lying in the hospital bed before her. His face was drained of all its color and there were all sorts of tubes sticking out of him. His mouth, missing its usual smirk, hung slightly open, allowing a breathing tube to pass through. Kate paused in the doorway and just listened to the sound of his heart monitor. She tried to convince herself that was the only reason she was there, reassurance that he was alive, but deep down she knew it was more than that. Her heart was surrounded by walls but somewhere there was a crack. Rick Castle used that crack to his advantage, weaseling himself inside. He was a big part of her life and although she tried to convince herself otherwise, Kate needed him. She needed his smile, his laugh, his ability to light up all aspects of her life. She couldn't suppress the overwhelming urge to just be with him and that's what scared her the most. Just the idea that she could have been completely alone, forced to live without him, gave her shivers. She eventually stepped into the hospital room.
She stepped across the threshold of the hospital room. Martha sat to the left side of Richard, gently clutching his hand, Alexis mirroring her image on the right. Silent tears rolled down their faces. Kate inhaled deeply and gingerly placed her hand on Martha's shoulder. The older woman turned her head and it was then Kate could truly tell her age. Bags hung under her red-rimmed eyes and that special glimmer Rick shared was gone.
"Kate, darling, please sit. Martha released her son's hand and rose from her chair. Kate attempted to refuse but Martha heard none of it. "I'm too cooped up in here anyway. Alexis, come take a walk with me and give Kate a moment alone with your father." Martha forced a smile but it didn't make quite up to her eyes. Alexis opened her mouth but closed it. Giving once last glance at her father she squeezed his hand, rose from her chair and left the room with Martha, leaving Kate alone with Rick. She was thankful for the seat, unsure if her knees could support her much longer due to their incessant shaking. Kate hesitantly reached out for his hand. He instead held the wrist and turned his palm up to face her. With her free hand she began tracing the veins in his wrist and the lines in his hand, while humming "In My Veins". Kate took a quick look over her shoulder and when it was clear, pressed his cold hand against her cheek. It fit with her face perfectly and she almost thought there was a hint of a smile on his lips. She removed his hand and watched as a few uncontrolled tears dripped on his skin. Kate then interlaced her fingers with his.
That was how she sat that morning. Kate whispered her theories and progressions on the case, even throwing in a few wild theories for Rick's benefit. There were a few points when she paused, ready for him to jump in with his own wild idea but never did. Kate sat with him for about an hour before she got up to leave but the gentle squeeze on her hand stopped her. His eyes were still closed and his face unchanged but the wriggling of his fingers overwhelmed Kate with joy.
She sat with him another fifteen minutes, their fingers mingling with each other. When his stopped moving she assumed he'd fallen asleep and took that as her time to leave. She couldn't help the tears that blurred her vision when she snuck a glance back at him while she walked out of the room. Kate dragged herself away from him and swore to the moon and back she'd find the man that shot him as she exited the hospital. In her cruzer she buried her head in the steering wheel and released the tears she refused to shed in front of Rick. Sure, he was unconscious but she still didn't like the idea of crying in front of him. When she was all cried out, Kate buckled her seat-belt drove out of the parking lot, and prepared herself for the hell she knew was to be at the precinct.