So I thought I should explain what I did while Olivia was sedated; though a bit uncommon you can dream while under sedation so I'm having her dream various memories from her past. Except in the way dreams go things don't always make sense to her, which makes for kind of confusing writing; the italics are strictly the memories and the normal font are her thoughts as she's seeing it - also, she's literally reliving her memories, so she'll say or do what she had then but consciously she's like wait I don't want to say this what am I doing what's going on. I actually had some fun with this chapter cause I'm finally getting to who Olivia is deep down as well showing the progression of her and Lorne's "relationship."
ziggystartdust1994: I'm so glad you liked how I did Numbers and Wrench cause I was worried I might be alone in my view of them; I'm actually hoping to bring Wrench back at some point, and I'm so hoping the show won't ruin my plan to do that. And with Lorne finding out Liv's gone, I actually might not show that until after things happen - because it does have a major effect on him to know that she was so easily taken and he was still relatively close; and of course the fact that she had been worried of something happening and he'd brushed her off, and then it happened. So I might wait on showing his response.
It was cold. That was the first thing Olivia noticed when she opened her eyes, everything was cold. She couldn't remember what happened or where she was, laying in this dark cloudy place with her head feeling strange and light: unconnected. "Lorne," she said when she saw him, and she clambered to her feet before running to him knowing she needed him, knowing something was wrong.
"Dr. Anderson," he said turning to her with only the barest hint of a smile.
He was different or at least his eyes were, there was curiosity and intention lying in their depths – it was a look she hadn't seen in a while.
"It's been two months Lorne Malvo," she answered.
That wasn't what she wanted to say, she wanted to tell him something was wrong, she wanted to say she needed him because she was so cold. She looked down at herself to find she was in blue scrubs that she'd worn at her hospital, not the brown ones she knew she'd been wearing in Bemidji – everything was wrong.
"Would you still like dinner?" he asked her, smiling at her remembering his name, knowing she'd go simply out of curiosity.
She felt herself laugh in disbelief. "You really came back just to take me out?" she asked looking up at him. "How could I say no then?"
She should say no, she should've run away from him the moment he came back to get his sutures removed – his eyes had been so dark, so cold with danger. She should've said no to ever seeing him again. She might still be her, still be someone that didn't make herself okay with murder, that wasn't so used to it that it barely touched her. She might still be whole. But looking at his face, made soft by his aim to win her over, she didn't know who she was without him – she didn't know how to be her without him.
Olivia looked around herself startled, having only blinked for a second and she was now sitting in a booth with Lorne across from her; only this wasn't the first time he had taken her to dinner, she'd still been in her scrubs because she had to go back to the hospital. Looking down at herself and seeing her jeans, she wondered if this was the second time he'd taken her out or maybe even the third; she didn't understand any of it, she didn't know where she was.
"Why do you let your boss talk to you like that?" he asked her gently, feigning a person who cared.
She shrugged taking a large gulp of her beer. "It's necessary," she said wanting to forget the whole night.
But he placed his hand on hers and looked at her kindly. "Necessary to say you wouldn't make it far in your medical career?"
He was really laying it on thick, and she hadn't realized it then but she knew exactly what he was doing now as she sat looking at him – seeing every lie on his face that she'd missed four years ago. He was trying to play her, to expose the wrongness of the world and send her out to cause destruction; it's what he'd done to Lester Nygaard and many others before, and it's what he was trying to do to her. But she'd nodded.
"I got lucky today," she said looking up at him to see the wondering in his eyes as he waited for her to continue. "I made a mistake, in my line of work that means the patient dies – I got very lucky. So yeah, it hurts like hell when he says that but," she shrugged as she thought of how to explain it, "if he doesn't remind me that I don't know everything then I'm never gonna learn. It is necessary," she finished looking down at her glass of beer.
"Even though it hurts?" he asked staring hard at her face, seeing the woman he'd had no idea she was.
She shrugged again. "Yeah well, so does life."
His brows rose surprised by the simple honesty in that statement. "You're not who I thought you were, Olivia Anderson," he told her.
She looked up at him to see him gazing hard at her face. "Who did you think I was?"
"I thought you were a woman who saw good in life, I thought you were happy," he said searching for something in her eyes.
"You can't be happy all the time," she told him in defense. "It's not sane. It's crap."
He laughed amused, now seeing the person she was, which she covered with a smile. "You had me fooled with your smile when I was your patient, you fool everyone – you put them at ease, make them feel comfortable – I think you've fooled yourself. You're not happy," he said seeing the surprise in her eyes at his being able to see through her. "There's a sadness in you," he told her reaching up to brush the hair out of her face to better see her eyes, "and darkness."
Olivia stared at his captivated face as though he'd found a treasure in her, understanding then why he had taken an interest in her. He'd come back with the intention of coaxing the animal out of her, like he so enjoyed doing to others, only to find the animal in her hiding as she licked her wounds. How strange she must have been to him, a broken woman trying to be the good she never saw in the world.
"This is the point when most men run away," she said softly almost expecting it; she'd never been the kind of girl guys went for – because he was right, she wasn't happy. But he only smiled at her, keeping his hand on her cheek as he shook his head and opened his mouth to speak.
She looked around noticing a strange light to the fogginess around her, and she reached for Lorne. "No," she said trying to hold him there, "I don't wanna go." But he slipped away from her and she shielded her eyes from the awful brightness, feeling a sharp pinch in her arm before everything turned black once more.
Numbers leaned over the armrest and tightened his hand around her wrist until her vein popped out, then gave her another dose of the sedative he'd taken from the hospital. He didn't sit back until her creased brow smoothed and her head fell to the side, satisfied she wouldn't wake. If their guy really did care about her she'd make good bait, they'd find him show him they had her get him talking – everything would be easier with her knocked out, she had no chance of escaping or fighting back, and she looked so vulnerable. And if it turned out he didn't care then they could drop her somewhere and leave taking Lorne Malvo with them.
Wrench looked over at Numbers when he took his phone out and answered it. He turned to look back out the window at the house Lorne Malvo had stopped at, waiting for when he would come back out and leave so they could follow – it'd be easier to grab him when no one was around, with no one as a loose end. "What'd he say?" he signed when Numbers put the phone back in his pocket.
He looked at the woman in the back and sighed shaking his head. "Boss wants him dead," Numbers told him.
Wrench too turned to look at the woman. "Did you tell him about her, do we take her back to Fargo?"
Numbers had contemplated saying they had someone Malvo might be attached to, someone who might have information about him, and to ask what they should do with her – which there was only one answer: kill her too. This information would have served better last night before they grabbed her, now they were left with bait they didn't need because they'd just get Malvo as he was driving. "It didn't come up," he signed.
Wrench looked at the man beside him questioningly before looking back to the woman. "We could ask what she knows, if she knows anything, decide then," Wrench offered, knowing as well they'd be told to kill her.
Numbers shrugged looking out the window, not wanting to think about it. He raised a hand and shook his head when Wrench hit his arm to get his attention, not wanting to talk about her anymore.
Wrench released a breath before looking back to her wondering if they could actually let her go, but he knew that chance was slim and he sighed before reaching back and pulling the blanket up to her shoulders.
Olivia woke once more to the cold, feeling something across her shoulders weighing her down as she looked around to see where she was. Across from her was Lorne, a cup of coffee in his hand as he looked at her, a medical book on the table in front of her beside her own coffee – she knew where they were, a little coffee shop down the street from the hospital they often met at. There were people around them sitting just like they were, but she couldn't see them – she couldn't see anything past their table, it was all so dark.
"Tell me about yourself," she said suddenly, having been hesitating to ask until finally it burst out of her.
His brows rose as he continued looking at her. "There isn't much to tell," he lied knowing she would run from the man he was.
She leaned forward not believing him for a second. "You've lived half a century and I know nothing about you," she told him. He knew quite a lot about her; what she was like as a teenager, her dabbling in drugs, her medical school debt she was slowly repaying, that it'd been just her and her mom – he knew more about her than even her closest friends, and she couldn't remember why she'd told him other than he'd asked.
With a sigh he nodded, already knowing her enough that he knew she wouldn't give in – not until she got what she wanted, and she wanted this. "I'm afraid I can't tell you about my job," he informed her watching the intrigue ignite in her eyes.
"Good or bad?" she asked, though if she were honest she already knew the answer – and he knew she was aware of it too. "What do you like to do when you're not working?"
The corner of his mouth curled as he sat staring at her face, seeing then she was already wrapped around his finger.
And she was, after only a few months she'd already been used to him being there – surprising her at work to take her to dinner, calling her and telling her to meet him somewhere, calling just to talk. She missed this Lorne, still wearing a false mask of charm and affection; he didn't try to win her over anymore, she was already his, all he did was give her enough to make her stay.
"I study human behavior," he answered smirking.
Her brows furrowed at that wondering who exactly this man was that she'd let into her life. "You're a strange man, Lorne Malvo," she said resting her chin on her hand, seeing his amused smile.
She watched him turn to smoke and she reached for him hoping to make him stay, but her hand grabbed nothing but cold as the scene changed; she was outside of the hospital going in for her shift, three weeks after that day in the coffee shop.
"Olivia," she heard him call from behind her.
Oblivious to what was about to change between them she turned surprised by the sound of his voice, offering him a smile as she walked to where he stood. "Hey, how've you been?" she asked, not aware he was doing anything more than stopping by.
His eyes were hard and his face cold. "Tell me about your father."
She looked up at him startled and confused, the look on his face making her wary of him – she had never seen this face, he always hid it from her. "I'm gonna be late for work, we can talk later," she said not sure if she wanted there to be a later, she didn't like the way he was looking at her.
Don't she thought as she stepped away from him, knowing how this played out, he wasn't taking no for answer – and she'd see who he was, for the only time in the four years she'd know him she would be afraid of him.
"Olivia," he warned grabbing her arm and pulling her back to face him, forcing her to look at him and see he had little patience to be refused.
Tell him you stubborn girl, she thought to herself knowing she wouldn't listen.
She looked up at him fiercely. "I told you it was my mom and I, I didn't say a single thing about that man which means I don't want to talk about. So hear me loud and clear, I'm not talking about it," she said before jerking her arm out of his grasp and walking away.
He didn't say her name, he didn't give her any warning until he once more grabbed her arm and pulled her against him, his hand coming up around her neck as his fingers dug into her jaw. "You have two options: tell me about your father or I take you to the men who'll make you," he told her darkly, tightening the hand around her jaw.
His dark eyes made it very clear she would answer one way or another, and she stared up at him afraid and furious. "There's nothing to say," she told him. Without missing a beat he began pulling her after him toward his car leaving her trying to keep her feet. "He wasn't there," she cried finally, thankful when he stopped and turned waiting for more. "He," she sighed as she forced herself to remember what she'd tried to forget, "he'd come back every once in while drunk and broke. I didn't even know him as my father, he was just a man who came round and made her cry. He'd hit her and when she couldn't stop him he'd hit me too, and then he'd leave and it'd be good again, until he'd come back. And then he stopped coming back and I haven't seen him in fifteen years. That's it, that's all there is," she told him. His face didn't change, there was no compassion or understanding in his eye, but his hand loosened on her neck and she took a step away from him. "You know biology says that DNA makes someone your family, that's bullshit; I may have his blood but he is not my father."
"Wait," she said as her feet moved her forward. She didn't want to leave him, she wanted to go back and tell him she knew what was coming and that everything would be okay if he'd just hold her; she was starting to remember a man with high hair and another man big and quiet. Everything was wrong and she just wanted him to hold her, but she couldn't keep her feet from leaving him.
The episode last night was so crazy I just couldn't even believe it; however, this will most likely be my last update til next week cause I'm not entirely sure where things are going in the show. Also, kind of a spoiler I guess, I read that last night's episode was Wrench's last one - does anyone know if that's actually true, because if it is then I can go ahead and keep going, but if it's not then I'll have to wait with the show. Thank you all for reading, I hope everyone is still enjoying.