Chapter 3

Erin was not in the mood to deal with multiple red lights. She just wanted to get home and sleep off all her worries and wake up worry-free the next morning.

Of course, she knew that this was wishful thinking. Her problems weren't going to go away in a single night. As if the universe was trying to remind of her reality, she hit every single possible red light on her drive home except for one. A hopeful part of her tried to draw meaning from that single green light, like the possibility that there was hope in the distance despite all the hardship she was enduring now. But she tried to forget all that, because all she could seem to facet on was the next eight months. And beyond.

How she was going to be a mother. How Jay was going to be a father. How she had to figure out a way to tell Jay. How she worried about whether Jay would freak out and leave her or if he would stay and support her. How she would have to tell the entire Intelligence Unit. How she would have to tell Voight. How she would have to go on maternity leave.

All her worries began to overload her brain, and she was almost in tears as she pulled up outside her apartment building. She still hadn't replied to Jay's text messages – even though she knew she had to tell him, she didn't want to tell him yet. She hadn't even accepted her reality of becoming a mother herself.

She walked slowly up to her apartment, drank a glass of water, checked that everything in her apartment was relatively clean, took a shower, and got into bed. She glanced at her clock as she lay down. It read 9:42pm. Weird, she thought, I never go to bed this early. Then she realized that her future would hold many things she had never experienced, and her brain began to fill with worries all over again. She tried thinking positively about her future (like her and Jay living happily ever after), but that didn't work. After what seemed like hours of trying to get to sleep, she glanced over at her clock again, praying that it would be at least halfway through the night. But she was wrong. When she hit the glow/snooze button, the clock ominously proclaimed 10:41pm. Seriously? Erin thought to herself. She sighed in frustration. She turned on her other side again, realizing that lying on her back made her feel dizzy, and tried once again to get to sleep.

A few minutes later, Erin finally realized that she wasn't going to go to sleep until she got a huge weight off her shoulders.

Telling Jay.

She got up, put on a sweatshirt over her pajama shirt, and sat down at her kitchen table after turning on some dim lights. The city skyline looked so dark outside her window. She picked up her phone, scrolled to Jay Halstead, and hovered her finger over the call button. After a few seconds, she remembered what she had though earlier. He deserves to know.

She hit Dial.

Jay found himself pacing around his apartment with a half empty beer bottle in his hand, his phone in the other. He was holding his phone so tightly that he was sweating.

He hadn't heard from Erin since she had left the precinct.

He couldn't believe that he was so worried about her that he couldn't even think about going to sleep. He just wanted to know that she was okay, and then he could rest.

He collapsed on the far right end of his sofa, sighing. He set his beer down on the table in front of him, and just as he was about to stand up again, his phone vibrated in his hand. To his delight and relief, the caller ID read Erin Lindsay.

He immediately hit Answer, putting the phone to his ear. "Erin! Oh my God, I've been so worried about you. Why didn't you call me until no-"

He was cut off by Erin's voice, which sounded uncharacteristically emotional and tired. "Jay, I can't take all those questions right now."

"What's wrong? Are you okay? Where are you?"

"At my apartment," Erin replied. Jay put his hand to his forehead, as he heard Erin trying to stop herself from crying. "I've been trying to sleep, but I need to talk to you. Right now."

Jay looked at his watch, almost surprised at how late it was. But the time didn't matter right now. Not when his girl needed him. "I'll be there in ten minutes," he told her as he hung up the phone, grabbed his keys and wallet, and ran out the door (and almost forgetting to lock it in the process).

Erin found herself pacing around her apartment in the dim light of her kitchen. After what seemed like an eternity since Jay had hung up, someone knocked on her door. She ran to door, peeked through the eyehole, and sure enough, Jay was standing on the other side.

She unlocked and opened the door, and Jay darted in as soon as there was enough room. He shut the door for her, pulling her into a tight hug once he saw how sad she looked. She cried a little, then broke out of the huge and sat down on her couch at the other end of the room. Jay followed her and sat down next to her, unsure of what was happening. "Erin, what's happened? Why did you wait until nearly 11pm to call me?"

"Jay," Erin began, grabbing his hand. Oh my God, what has happened? Jay feared the worst.

"You were right," she began. "When I was throwing up? I wasn't fine. I had a suspicion that I wasn't, so I went to the doctor after I left work today."

"And?" Jay motioned with his hand, and his face for her to keep going.

"Please promise me that you're not going to run out on me?" Erin replied, in an almost desperate tone.

"Of course, Erin, you know I'd never do that."

Erin sighed lightly with relief. "Okay, so…"

"So…," Jay began, "What is going on?"

Erin looked down at the sofa, cleared her throat, and looked straight into Jay's eyes. "Jay," she began slowly, "I'm pregnant. You're going to be a father."