Hey guys! Today I'm going to be Real with you guys. But the topic is going to be me and how I'm feeling. There are so many topics. Lets get started.
First I wanna talk about School. Middle school is were you try to figure out who you are and who you're going to be. I'm in 6th grade. I'm trying to figure out who I am. But it's not easy for me when people make it hard. Especially in gym. I walk in there confident. I try to convince my self that everything will be okay today. But then the gym teachers say we're doing mat-ball. Its like kickball mixed with baseball. And I try to get at the end of the line to kick. Cause I do not want to kick. When I do, I get an out for my team. They don't yell at me, they just put their face in their hands. That's all I have to say about that.
Next I want to talk about my friends. I've told my friends what is going on. They try to help. How they help is they say I have a horrible life too and explain why they have a horrible life. I get so annoyed when people do that. I mean, I get they're trying to help but it's my life not your's. It's like I don't need your life story, I need advice. I don't need you to tell me how you cry every night cause I need some friendly advice not your auto-biography, okay, we're talking about me here.
Next, family issues. I have a stepdad and he has these nieces that every family gathering they are the center of attention. For example, at my birthday party, they stole all the attention away from me with there little show. They sing songs. And it was MY birthday party. I was pissed. I went in the bathroom and waited until they left. When they did, everyone left. All I wanted was a little bit of attention and they had to steal that attention away. I just wanted some attention. I cried myself to sleep that night.
So many things are going on and I can't deal with it anymore! Everyone at school thinks I'm a weird-o, and I never get any attention on my step dad's side! All I want is for people to not look at me like I have two heads and for a little attention on my step-dads side! This makes me want to die. My life has been complete hell ever since I turned 12. I have suicidal thoughts! These situations make me feel like I have no purpose in this world. I don't know what to do! I can't do this anymore. Someone please help. Bye.