THEN AND NOW
Chapter 10: "No One Gets Out Unscathed"
A Neo-Sailor Moon fanfic
By Bill K.
Cere lay in her infirmary bed, wondering what was to become of her. She was due to be released soon. Her back wound was healed, but she didn't feel recovered. She felt nervous and depressed. A sound made her jump. She looked to the sound, at the entrance to the room, and found it was only Dr. Mizuno.
"Forgive me for startling you," Ami said gently. "I just wanted to see how you were progressing."
"Wound's all healed," Cere mumbled. Then she noticed the critical stare on the doctor's face.
"I understand you haven't been sleeping well," Ami told her. "I've also noted a loss of appetite and an underlying anxiety to your mood. Then there's the news I've been hearing from some of the other girls that you're contemplating quitting the senshi."
"Might as well," Cere sighed. "I don't know how much good I'll be to them."
"Well, that's your choice," Ami commented. "Right now, I'm more concerned with the physical stress you're undergoing. You're showing classic symptoms of Post-Traumatic Stress Syndrome." She got a puzzled look from her patient. "When a person is subjected to a life-threatening situation, or sometimes repeated life-threatening situations, such as a soldier or law enforcement officer, the body is put in a prolonged state of adrenal arousal. This is the body's mechanism for preserving itself. The greater the trauma, the more likely that common occurrences which mimic one or more traits of the traumatic experience will trigger the adrenal rush. Sometimes just recalling the incident will trigger it. And if the adrenal arousal is triggered too often, it begins to negatively impact the mind and body. Sleep is affected. So is mood. So are other things. Eventually the victim can sink into psychological states that make living at best a chore and at worst impossible."
"So what do I do?" Cere asked.
"We find a way to calm you when these adrenal arousal states are unnecessarily triggered," Ami explained. "I've found that yoga and bio-feedback techniques work best for me."
"You?" Cere gaped.
"No one gets out unscathed," Ami said with grave seriousness. "I've been a senshi for a thousand years. I've died - - twice I'm told, though I only remember one of them." Ami paused. "It isn't pleasant to contemplate." Then she brightened. "But the rational mind can be taught to control the body's responses to emotional stimulation. Deep breathing will slow the heart and respiration and allow you to regain control over your response. Yoga teaches control of the body and allows the mind to find peace through concentration." She smiled melancholy. "Of course, the human mind is a diverse and complex organ and no single solution will fit every case. Makoto copes through physical exertion and doing for others. Rei uses meditation and calligraphy. Minako, unfortunately, seems to use narcissism and indiscriminate sexual encounters. It seems to work for her, but I wouldn't recommend it."
"Bio-feedback, huh? I'll try it," Cere whispered. "It has to be better than this. I feel so cowardly - - disloyal. Like I'm letting the others down. I hate myself for feeling this way, but I just can't overcome the fear! I thought I'd beaten it three years ago . . .!"
"Deep breaths," Ami told her and Cere complied. "These feelings are an off-shoot of the condition. You're psychologically unable to do something you feel is important and are overwhelmed by guilt and recrimination. When you realize that this is a normal human reaction to the instinctual fear of death and the desire for self-preservation, you can begin to cope with these feelings and to channel them productively."
"I am feeling a little better," Cere said between breaths. "Maybe this will work."
"Maybe it will," Am offered. "And if it doesn't, we'll try something else. And we'll keep trying until we find something that works. But no matter what, please don't keep your feelings about what you've gone through bottled up. That can have an adverse effect on your emotional and physical health as well. Talk out your fears with someone on my staff. They're all very qualified. Or with one of the elders. We've all gone through the same battles and the same hardships you've experienced, so we understand more than most. Or talk it out with your fellow senshi. No doubt they've experienced some of the same doubts and fears you've experienced. The key point is don't be afraid or ashamed to talk about it. Keeping it bottled up will only do you a great deal of harm in the long run."
Training session the next day was a surprise for the Princess. After the dramatics of the previous day, she wasn't expecting to see Ves-Ves or Palla-Palla. But Ves was there, and beside her was Palla-Palla, smiling like all was now right with the world again. And, to her private amazement, Cere-Cere was still there, too. By her personal estimate, Usa had figured the little coward to have washed out by now.
It was too bad. Usa was hoping this entire charade would be over by now. It was at that moment that Usa noticed Palla-Palla was looking at her with an intimidated frown, almost like she had just read Usa's mind.
"OK, ladies, let's see if we can work together with a little more coordination today," Minako piped up. "Ves-Ves, I want you to switch with Jun-Jun for this one."
"But Palla-Palla wants to be next to Ves-Ves!" whined Palla-Palla.
"Well, I guess we don't always get what we want," Minako smiled sweetly. Makoto covered her mouth to hide the grin.
The exercise began. As before, short Palla-Palla was having trouble matching strides with the willowy Princess. To complicate matters, Jun, who was just as short, was having the same troubles. As Usa moved to avoid Palla-Palla, she stepped into Jun's path and the two locked ankles. Both girls spilled to the mat. In frustration, Usa smacked the mat with her flat hand.
"Sorry," Jun offered.
"I'll bet," muttered the Princess.
"Hey, I said I was sorry!" bristled Jun.
"Aunt Minako, this is not going to work!" Usa fumed, pulling herself to her feet. "I don't know if they're intentionally throwing this or they're just clumsy . . .!"
"Hey, you're the one who stepped in my path!" Jun protested. "Try working with us!"
"I am Sailor Moon," Usa proclaimed. "I am the lead. YOU are the ones supporting and protecting ME!"
"She's right," Makoto stated.
"Well maybe I could follow your lead if I knew where you were going!" Jun shot back.
"She's got a point," Makoto added.
"And who says you're Sailor Moon anyway?" Jun barked. "Because your mommy handed it to you on a silver tray?"
"Nobody handed me anything!" Usa rumbled. "You're the ones who got handed special powers - - TWICE! All anybody has ever done is hold me back!"
"Maybe it's because you can't do the job!" Jun shouted.
"I beat you four!" Usa shouted back.
"Didn't we help?" Minako asked Makoto.
"I did. I don't know about you, Blondie," Makoto smirked. Then she shoved between the two girls. "OK, that's the bell. Return to your neutral corners."
"Actually this isn't a bad idea," Minako suggested. "You four think you can take her?"
"Piece of cake," sneered Ves with a confident grin. Jun just glared.
"Without killing her?" Minako added.
"Well if you're going to take the fun out of it," Ves shrugged.
"How about you, Usa? Think you can take them all by yourself?"
"If I'm going to be Sailor Moon, I may have to," Usa replied with deadly earnest. "It'll be a good learning experience."
"Great! Vesta Star Power Make Up!" Ves shouted, transforming into Sailor Vesta.
"Hey, hey, nobody said anything about powers!" Makoto shouted.
"It's OK, Aunt Makoto," Usa told her. "Let them use their powers. It's the only way they'll have a chance." She raised her hand. "Moon Crystal Power Make Up!" Makoto looked at Minako questioningly. Minako gave her a silent nod.
With everyone transformed, Sailor Moon crouched in anticipation of an attack. Ceres and Pallas hung back, while Vesta and Juno slowly stalked her from both sides. Vesta in particular had a confident grin on her face.
"Let's get this over with," she snickered. "Fauna Assimilation, Gorilla!"
Vesta's shoulders, thighs and arms began to thicken. Her posture stooped as her arms elongated until she was resting on her knuckles. Then like a shot she was on Sailor Moon, clutching for her with inhumanly large hands. But Sailor Moon reacted quickly, ducking under the grasp of Vesta and lunging in rather than back as the girl had expected. She jammed her wand near Vesta's face.
"Pink Sugar Heart Attack!" called Sailor Moon. The pink sparks exploded into Vesta's face, and the gorilla girl flinched back. It was then that Sailor Moon drove her foot deep into Vesta's middle, robbing her of breath. After that, a spinning roundhouse kick connected with Vesta's head and knocked the massive girl to the floor.
"Aqua Initiation!" Juno cried. A jet stream of water from the wall fountain shot across the room and struck Sailor Moon in the face. But as Juno moved in, she was surprised to see Sailor Moon spin away, increasing the distance between them and taking her out of the stream's path. Juno directed the water to follow her. Sailor Moon crouched upon landing and pulled the tiara from her head. Throwing it at Juno, even without invoking the power phrase. still made it a missile that impacted with Juno's shins as she started forward and sent the girl tumbling to the floor. Juno started to get up, but Sailor Moon drove her knee into Juno's back and then bent her arm up between her shoulder blades.
"Beautiful Incantation!" Pallas cried anxiously, more to protect Juno than to attack Sailor Moon.
Juno struggled beneath her to get loose. Sailor Moon heard Pallas invoke her power and knew she had to move. And in the corner of her eye, she saw Vesta the gorilla girl rising up to attack again. Pushing herself to one side, Sailor Moon somersaulted on the mat away from the line of fire. Pallas's telekinetic blast struck Vesta square on and bowled the girl over like a bowling pin. Sailor Moon pivoted on the mat and charged Sailor Pallas, her twin pink tails of hair streaking behind her. She brought up her Cutie Moon Rod, but held back when Pallas cringed in fear. That didn't stop her from side-stepping Juno's charge, grabbing the girl and flipping her over her hip. Juno landed with a sharp smack on the mat.
That's when Sailor Moon noticed the seeds on the floor.
"Floral Stimulation," she heard Ceres say. Sailor Moon tried to move, but one of the vines caught her ankle and halted her flight. In seconds Sailor Moon found herself kneeling on the mat, thin tensile vines criss-crossing her body, trapping her limbs and holding her fast. Sailor Moon strained to slip the grip of the vines or to reach her Cutie Moon Rod around to defend herself, but she couldn't move.
"OK, we'll call that a win for the senshi," Makoto proclaimed. Ceres and Pallas relaxed. Vesta scowled in disappointment, because she hadn't gotten another shot, while Juno smirked in triumph.
"I'm not beaten!" Sailor Moon bellowed and continued to fight within the grip of the vines.
"For the purposes of this exercise, you are," Minako told her, then signaled Ceres to release her. "OK, did anybody learn anything from this?"
"Yeah, now I know why they call her 'The Little Rabbit'," grumped Vesta.
"Don't sneer," Makoto advised her. "Rabbits survive by being quicker and smarter than bigger opponents. Size and strength isn't everything. Anything else?"
Everyone remained silent.
"Come on, you five aren't that stupid!" Minako prodded them.
"It was a lucky break," Sailor Moon grumbled. "She only got me because I was too busy dodging the other three."
"Well, yeah," Makoto nodded. Then she turned to the four senshi. "But it didn't have to be a lucky break. Sailor Moon was more experienced, faster and better equipped to defend herself that you four. But you beat her, and if you had coordinated your attack and worked together, you probably could have beaten her even faster." The others contemplated this while Sailor Moon looked downcast. "Don't take it so hard, Hon'. You've got some nifty moves."
"And more guts than a burglar," chuckled Minako.
"You took on four opponents with stronger abilities than you and almost won," Makoto continued. "You're a lot further along than we all thought you were."
"Yeah," Ceres offered timidly. "I guess you did show us you earned that name instead of it being handed to you."
"And just think how tough you'll be with these four working with you instead of against you," Minako added pointedly. She turned to the group. "OK, hit the showers! You all smell!"
The four Amazons headed for their quarters, while Usa moved for hers. As they went, Usa and Cere passed near each other.
"Good move," Usa said neutrally and kept walking. Cere paused and turned, wondering if the Princess had actually meant it or if she was just being diplomatic.
"Hey, what's eating you, Stupid?"
The four trainees were back in their quarters, newly repaired after Ves's last rampage. Ves had noticed Palla-Palla's thoughtful expression.
"The Princess doesn't like us," Palla-Palla replied glumly. "Palla-Palla heard it with her head. The Princess wishes we were gone."
"Wow, there's a news flash," grunted Ves.
"Well it's not like she actually needs us," Jun shrugged, sitting lotus-style on a chair. "She whipped our butts pretty good."
"It was my fault for going big," Ves scowled. "I should have gone with a predator cat - - a tiger or cheetah or something."
"We were trying to restrain her, Ves, not kill her," Jun sighed.
"I wouldn't have killed her," Ves protested. "Roughed her up a little. Take some of that snooty attitude out of her."
"She is pretty tough to get close to," Jun acknowledged. "I get she's got a grudge against us for what we did, but we are trying!"
"Maybe if we gave her a tea party and had cake and ice cream . . ." Palla-Palla began.
"Don't think. You'll hurt yourself," Cere sighed. Palla-Palla stuck her tongue out at the girl.
"Well, you come up with an idea!" Jun fumed.
Cere thought. "OK. The Princess doesn't like us because she thinks we're still bad guys. Maybe it's more. Maybe she doesn't think she NEEDS us, either."
"Yeah," Jun nodded. "I was watching the surveillance vid of when she took on that guy in that shop with the knife. And you saw the way she was against us."
"It's like she's trying to prove herself," Cere continued. "Remember what she said in the gym - - all anyone has done is hold her back. She doesn't want us around because she thinks it means she can't do the job."
"But Palla-Palla doesn't want to go!" whined Palla-Palla.
"We don't have to go," Cere said. "What we have to do is prove to her that she does need us."
"So how do we do that?" Ves asked.
"We need to know what she's planning," Jun thought out loud. "Palla-Palla, you think you can probe the Princess's mind and find out if she's up to something?"
"Palla-Palla can try," the girl said timidly. "But it doesn't always work when Palla-Palla tries to hear someone's thoughts."
"Chance we'll have to take," Cere said. "At tomorrow's training session, you try to read her and see if she's got anything planned as Sailor Moon."
Palla-Palla nodded resolutely. The other three looked at each other and smiled.
It was night in the palace. Everyone was asleep except for Luna and the evening security teams. And Luna was currently in the security monitor room telling the teams how to do their jobs for the third time that month. In the shrine inside the palace, Rei was in bed, asleep.
Or at least that's what the silent figure slithering into the shrine hoped. The interior of the shrine was pitch black, but it didn't seem to stop the interloper. The dark figure picked through the shrine like its layout was memorized. With the silent skill of a legendary ninja of old, the figure moved soundlessly from the front room of the shrine to one of the back rooms. As the pneumatic door slid open, the figure paused for a moment to listen for whether the sound of the door had disturbed Rei's sleep. Hearing nothing, the figure entered the room.
The room was sparsely decorated. In the center of the room was an ancient altar made of cherry wood. Sitting on the altar was the jade dragon statuette that Rei had been preparing earlier for use against the Puppet Master demon. Again making no noise, the figure swiftly crossed the room to the alter and scooped up the statuette.
"Lights," came Rei's voice in the darkness. The environmental control computer obeyed and the room flooded with light. The figure gave a startled cry of pain and pulled the night vision lenses from her face. "OK, you want to explain yourself?"
Usa looked at the stern expression on her treasured aunt's face. Her mouth thinned with frustration and chagrin.
Continued in Chapter 11