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I held a dark haired baby to my chest as I watched my blonde haired daughter play on the floor. Karina smiled at me and said something. She stood, skipped over to kiss her brother's cheek, and skipped off to her room.
The baby in my arms started squirming. His face scrunched up and turned red right before he started crying. I started to rock my arms back and forth to sooth him. Anna walked in, carrying an identical baby.
"Are you being fussy for Daddy?" Anna asked the crying baby.
Daddy? I thought.
"He's hungry." I felt myself smile up at her.
Anna leaned down to kiss me before we carefully switched babies.
"Don't take too long. I would like to spend sometimes with my wife," I said as she walked towards the babies' nursery.
"I won't, Dear," she said, winking at me over her shoulder.
Wife. My wife.
I woke up covered in sweat. My heart was pounding out of my chest. I dreamed of her … again. They usually were romantic in nature, but this time it was of our future children, not that it would exist in reality. Anna was a good friend, the closest friend I had ever had. I'm sure she didn't see me other than the man who took care of her daughter. There was no way she cared for me, and if she didn't it was only as a casual friend.
I groaned when I looked at the time. I'd like three or four more hours of sleep, and I doubted I would be able to get back to sleep now. I sighed as I got up to get ready for the day.
Even though the term was over, I agreed to watch Karina. Anna needed some time to get caught up on grades, but I wasn't sure who I wanted to see more, Anna or Karina. Today Karina and I were going shopping in Hogsmeade to get supplies for Christmas; I had agreed to help Karina get a gift for her mother. After showering, eating breakfast, and getting ready for the day, I walked to Karina and Anna's rooms. I opened the door to their rooms, where I was greeted enthusiastically.
"Sev-us Daddy!" Karina hugged my legs tightly. "Are we really going to Hogsmeade today?"
"Yes, we are. When we are there, I expect you to stay by my side the whole time. Do you understand?"
"Yes, Daddy." Karina nodded her head.
"Let's tell your mother we're leaving then."
Karina and I went into Anna's office to find her grading a large stack of papers. I swallowed when I remembered my dream. I clenched my teeth as my confused feelings. I wanted her, but I knew I couldn't survive being hurt by a woman again, so I pushed my feelings aside. She smiled as we stepped into the room. Her eyes danced with happiness. Despite trying to push my feelings aside, I ached for her.
"Sev-us Daddy and I are going to Hogsmeade now Mummy. And … and we're going shopping, Mummy, and we're going to get you a surprise for Christmas, but I'm not supposed to tell you, Mummy," Karin said in one breath.
Anna's shoulders shook as she tried to hold back her laughter. I shook my head at the girl.
"We should take a few hours at the most," I said.
"I'll see you when you get back." Anna smiled warmly at me.
I nodded at her while taking Karina's hand. I put a warm cloak around Karina before we walked to Hogsmeade.
"Is there a candy shop, Daddy?" Karina asked me.
"Yes," I replied, dryly.
"Can we go there, Daddy?"
"If you're good and stay with me the whole time."
"Okay, Daddy. Sev-us Daddy, what will we buy Mummy?"
"We'll have to look for something special."
"What about a picture of me and you. That's special!"
"Maybe, but you can't tell her what we got. It has to be a surprise when she opens it on Christmas morning," I told her in my sternest voice.
"Okay, Daddy. Look, Daddy! I see the candy shop!"
"I know." I sighed. It's going to be a long trip I thought. "This way, and don't let go of my hand."
"Okay, Sev-us Daddy."
I lead her into one of the little shops with various knick knacks that woman like. Karina led me to an area where they had flower pots and picture frames that children could draw on, and when completed the drawings would move. Karina decided on a picture frame so she could put a picture of us in there.
As we neared the counter to pay, the jewelry counter caught my eye. I approached cautiously, my eyes scanning the jewelry. My eyes rested on a locket with a rose on the front of it.
"Do you need any help, Sir?" a lady behind the counter asked.
"I'd like to see that locket," I said in a snap decision.
"Certainly, Sir."
The sales women pulled it out and held it out so I could see it.
I wanted this for Anna, but I was scared to give it. It was just a beautiful as she was, but we were friends, and I didn't want to make a mistake that would cause that friendship. I didn't want a repeat of Lily. Giving jewelry was a way I could show my true feelings for her. I knew she didn't feel the same, so this gift could cause a rift between us.
None the less, wanted to give her this, though, as a sign of how much I cared and treasured her. I didn't deserve her with my tainted past. She deserved someone who would love her and be a father to Karina. I was too damaged to do either.
"Mummy would really like that," Karina piped up.
"You think so?" I asked the little girl, who nodded enthusiastically. "I'll buy it then."
"Certainly, Sir," the sales woman said.
She wrapped up the locket as well as the one Karina chose. I paid for both gifts before we left the shop. Karina begged to go to the candy shop, which was luckily devoid of students. I allowed Karina to fill up a small bag of candy that we'd share after dinner. As we were leaving the shop, Karina grabbed my hand and squealed.
"Daddy, they have kitties!" Karina shrieked.
The little girl dragged me across the street to where a young man and women were selling five kittens in a box.
"Oh, Sev-us Daddy, can we get a kitty?"
"I don't think so," I said. "I haven't talked with your mother about it."
"Daddy?" I heard the young man mutter to the woman.
When I took a closer look at the couple, I realized it was the youngest male Weasley and the Granger know-it-all. I felt my cheeks turn red. I didn't mind Karina calling me Daddy, in fact I loved it, but it was strange having my old life mix with my new one.
"Mr. Snape?" Hermione asked. I nodded in acknowledgment. Hermione turned and smiled at Karina. "Would you like to look at one, Sweetie?"
"Yes, please."
Hermione picked up a little white cat with a squashed face. It looked like a grumpy fur ball.
"Hold out your hands, sweetie," Hermione instructed.
"Like this?" Karina asked cupping her hands.
"Perfect."
The moment the kitten was placed in her hands, it started purring.
"Hi, Kitty. Are you my new friend? I love you a whole lot, just like Mummy, Daddy, and Aunt M."
"She sure does talk a lot," Hermione whispered through giggles.
"You have no idea," I said dryly.
"Is she really your …" Ron started.
"Ron, you can't ask that!" Hermione admonished.
"No, it's alright. Her mother is the new Muggle studies teacher, so I take care of her during the day," I explained.
"Daddy, can we please get the kitty. Please, Daddy," Karina asked.
"I'd have to talk to your mother." I sighed.
"Thank you, Sev-us Daddy! You might be my new Kitty if Mummy says okay."
"I can meet you at Hogwarts tomorrow night if you agree to get her," Hermione said. "Just owl me."
"I will. Thank you."
"I love you kitty," Karina whispered to the purring cat. "I'm going to miss you."
"Karina, we need to go back for dinner and put the presents in a safe place," I said.
"Alright, Daddy," Karina replied glumly. "Bye, kitty. Thank you for letting me hold the kitty."
"You're welcome," Hermione said, smiling at her.
Karina grabbed my hand and started chatting about 'her' kitty. Half way to the castle I noticed Karina walking slower and talking less. I picked up the girl, making sure I balanced her and the small packages carefully. She rested her head on my shoulder, and soon fell asleep. I swiftly walked to my room to put the presents for safe keeping, briefly leaving her on my bed.
I picked up my sleeping daughter and carried her to her room. When I laid her in the bed, she muttered 'kitty.' Just as I walked into the sitting room, Anna walked down the stairs rubbing her neck.
"Remind me why I gave such a long assignment?" she asked.
"Because you agreed not to go soft on them."
I moved passed Anna to put Karina in her bed for her nap. I returned to the living room, where Anna was pouring tea, and I sat on the couch. Anna surprised me when she sat next to me while handing me a cup.
Anna sipped her tea. "How did shopping go?"
"Fine. We did meet one of my former students who's selling kittens. I told Karina I would talk to you about getting one. I would be willing to keep it in my rooms."
"I think it would be good for her. I suppose that could help teach her responsibility. I don't have to worry about getting her many presents then."
"I suppose not," I agreed.
"Speaking of Christmas, my in-laws are visiting on Christmas Eve. Karina and I will have dinner with them that night. On Christmas though, we'd like to have breakfast and open presents with you."
"I'd enjoy that."
"We would too."
Anna rested her hand on mine. I turned my palm over, and gave her hand a squeeze.
"So, what did you buy?" she asked me, not moving her hand out of mine, and I did the same.
"You'll have to wait to see what I bought yours on Christmas day," I told her.
"Oh, come on, Severus." She pouted.
"Sorry, it's tradition."
"Oh, is that something your family did?"
"Yes," I smiled sadly. "We'd always buy each gifts in secret, much like most families. My mother and I would before … before she passed away."
"Oh, Severus, I'm sorry." She cupped my cheek. "I didn't know."
"It's alright." I leaned into her touch. "You didn't know."
The cold air stung my cheek when she removed her hand.
"Hagrid's helping us get our tree tonight," Anna said. "I'd like you to join us for that as well."
"I'd be honored." I smiled. "Is it one of your traditions?"
"Yes. Karina and I do it every year."
"I'd be honored to help." Feeling bold, I took her hand again, earning a shy smile from her.
Hours later, I stood by a large tree, handing Karina red and gold ornaments.
"And this will go here," Karina exclaimed, putting a red one near the bottom.
"Where would you like to put this one?" I asked, handing her a gold ornament.
"Here, Daddy!" She put it up a little higher than the previous one. "Now you put one on, Daddy."
"Shall I put one up high?" I asked.
"Two of them!" She held up two ornaments.
"Okay." I took both from her.
"Oh, it looks so pretty, Mummy." Karina pointed to the tree.
"It sure does." Anna smiled at her, making my heart skip a beat. "Are you having fun with Daddy?"
"Oh, it's so much fun! We should do this again tomorrow."
Anna and I laughed.
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