I honestly am so overwhelmed by the response for this story, with the fandom dwindling as slowly as it is, you all are definitely loyal to them. I'm debating on an epilogue...Nah I'm lying I already see one, it won't be quite as expected, but I'm hoping you still enjoy it nonetheless. Also, the whole green eyes thing is hilarious, it's really not that serious. There's no hidden meaning behind it. I know she has brown eyes on the show, I just wanted to make Ashley have green eyes. Okay, my rant is too long. If you have any questions feel free to ask them or just PM..I'm much faster at that than FOF clearly since I still haven't done them. Forgive me guys. I intend on responding to you. I just want to get these chapters up because I have plans for this story and getting it done is one of them. So thanks so much for reading. I really appreciate everyone who favorites, follows, and reviews. Please keep them coming. They make my day. Enough from me...here's Day 5...Enjoy!
Day 5
Spencer knocks on Ashley's door and leans against the frame, waiting for the brunette to answer. It doesn't take long before the door flies open and the brunette stands there with a perky smile on her face.
"Well long time no see," The blonde jokes, she rolls her eyes at herself, at the lack of hilarity in it.
"Hey, I'm almost ready, come in."
Spencer walks in after her invitation and strides curiously through the apartment. Every time she comes into Ashley's home, she's more and more packed away. She looks at some pictures that sit perfectly angled on a mantelpiece. She smiles at the family photos, getting a sneak peek to a different side of the brunette. Ashley has a distinct smile. The way her nose crinkles a bit and her eyes narrow as she focuses on the very thing making her beam. Spencer picks up a picture of Ashley, she grazes her thumb over the Dean's face. She turns slowly as Ashley clears her throat. She places the picture back onto the mantle.
"Whatcha doing?" She asks cheekily. Spencer giggles and rubs the back of her neck nervously.
She points back at the row of pictures and mumbles something that sounds like the word 'nothing.' Ashley giggles walking over to the mantle.
"That's me and my sister in Vegas last year for her birthday. That's my niece, she's three and is scary smart. Like she should be tested smart."
Ashley breathes out a laugh as she attempts to go to the next photo. She's cut off by Spencer grabbing the back of her neck and pulling her in for a kiss. Ashley moans into the gesture stumbling into the blonde's body. Spencer snakes an arm around her lower back, pulling her impossibly closer. The brunette buries her fingers in Spencer's blonde wavy hair. Gently rubbing her scalp, she pulls back and buries her face in Spencer's neck inhaling her scent.
"You're intoxicating." Ashley comments melting into Spencer's embrace. Everything in her head is telling her to run. This is way too much, way too soon. However, Spencer's really comfortable. She's funny, smart, gorgeous, an amazing lover and there's more things, but Ashley's head is too fuzzy to express them.
Ashley smiles at the gentle kiss against her temple. She steps away from Spencer's embrace.
"I want to tell you why I stayed for dinner." Ashley starts.
"You don't have to Ashley. This isn't something where you have to constantly explain yourself." She tries to continue but Ashley stops her.
"I like this…I like us. I just didn't want to get too attached to other things or people should this end abruptly."
Spencer licks her lips, crossing her arms over her chest. She looks down for a moment, her eyes flick upward to look at the nervous brunette. She hadn't thought of anything ending, it had all just started.
Ashley continues, "I'm sorry if I'm overthinking things and…"Spencer raises her hand cutting the brunette's speech off.
"Ashley, what have I told you about us?" She quirks a brow and smiles softly.
"That it's whatever I want it to be."
Spencer nods placing her hands on either side of Ashley's face.
"Exactly, stop stressing okay? I like us too, by the way. A lot. If the sex should end abruptly. I hope that our getting to know each other doesn't." Spencer confesses.
She hasn't even started to drink yet and she vomiting truth left and right. Get a grip Carlin.
"Me too."
Spencer nods once and gives the brunette a chaste kiss. "Let's go, yeah?"
Green stare into blue. "How early do we have to be there?"
Spencer smirks and shrugs. "We've got some time to kill."
Ashley giggles as Spencer launches toward her, gently biting her neck playfully. Spencer carefully guides the brunette toward the couch. Ashley pulls the blonde onto her lap and leans up to kiss her.
"This is my favorite part of the day." Spencer quips before completing the gesture.
Ashley stands close to her…would she be a date? No, no…it's a group hang? What the hell is this exactly? The walls outside of the club are shaking as the music booms against them. Spencer pulls Ashley passed the long line. She smiles with pride at how popular Stevi has gotten. She's gotten a great following and hasn't let any of it get to her head. She walks up to her bouncer.
"Hey, Bruno. What's going on man?" Spencer gives the large black bouncer a big hug. One hand still connected to Ashley's.
"Spencer, where the hell you been?" His giant hearty laugh booms as loud as the music inside.
"Working, you know how it goes."
"Whose this gorgeous specimen" He leans to the side a bit to get a better glimpse of Ashley.
"Don't say specimen bro it's weird and this is Ashley. She's with me."
Ashley just smiles bashfully wiggling her fingers pathetically in a bashful wave. She's with Spencer. With Spencer…like with Spencer or just with Spencer. Ashley's mind couldn't stop racing. She shouldn't be thinking things like this. It's only been a few months since her girlfriend…ex-girlfriend. The heartbreak had been extremely suffocating, until that morning at Trader Joe's. Granted it's still an issue. What Spencer doesn't know is that before they met Ashley spent most of her time crying. The company has been amazing but she knows that she needs to deal with her feelings. Right now though, she just wants to deal with Spencer. She gets out of her head when Spencer pulls her inside. Bruno instructs them to be safe and have a good time.
They walked through the doors and hearing became a bit of a challenge. Stevi really liked to blow the roof off the house. Ashley just keeps close to the blonde as she walks closer to the bar.
"Drink?" She feels Spencer's lips brush against the shell of her ear. She shivers even though it's extremely hot in there. Ashley just nods.
Spencer orders for them both. Ashley takes in her surroundings, she catches Stevi up high in the DJ booth, the stereotypical look of the headphones around her neck. She scratches the board and she smiles at the possibility of a new friend. She jumps a little at the chilled glass on her neck. She smiles at Spencer as she takes the shot out of her hand. They toast one another before tossing the drink back. Ashley feels the liquid sting her throat then warm the rest of her body as it travels down. Spencer takes the empty glass from the brunette's and leaves them at the bar.
"Let's dance." Spencer orders as she grabs the brunette's hand again and leads her to the dancefloor.
Ashley likes being in this world with Spencer. She hasn't been a part of it since she graduated college. Granted seven years isn't that long ago it feels like ages since Ashley's been in the club scene. She follows the blonde's lead, letting herself be pulled deeper into the crowd. Spencer grabs the brunette close and begins to sway her hips to the beat to the music.
Ashley pushes her lips up, impressed with Spencer's moves. Niko was right. She indeed can dance. The beat drops and the crowd goes wild, including Spencer as she jumps up in sync with the rest of the crowd. Ashley looks a little hesitant to do the same. Spencer settles down and gently kisses the brunette. She leans in to whisper into Ashley's ear. Making sure she speaks loud enough for the brunette to get the message.
"Let go, babe." Is all the blonde says and it's like a switch goes off in Ashley. She breathes out a gentle laugh and nods as she jumps up with the rest of the crowd. Stevi had been on fire as she mixes two songs that wouldn't normally be thought to sound good together. However, Stevi had an ear for these sort of things. Ashley throws her hand up in the air, smirking as Spencer's hands grip her hips.
The heat from the liquor and the rest of her bodies that surround them brought Ashley to a whole other level. She turns in Spencer's arms and leans her forehead against Spencer's. Spencer captures her lips lustfully. Their embrace stopped by the drunken stumbling of another club goer. Spencer catches Ashley from falling and pushes the people away from Ashley. Spencer guides the brunette to a more secure area.
She does her best to check out the brunette in the very dark club. Ashley smirks as Spencer becomes frantic.
"Are you okay?" She shouts. Ashley just nods slipping her hand into Spencer's guiding her to some empty barstools.
Ashley waves the bartender down and grabs them another pair of drinks. They get serviced and Ashley hands a drink to the blonde. Spencer just sips her beer staring at the brunette. Observing her. Ashley gently pushes Spencer's face to look in the other direction. Spencer quickly turns her face kissing the inside of Ashley's palm. Ashley smiles and looks around shyly. She's grateful for the dark atmosphere or else the blonde would see her blushing. Ashley's eyes drift through the crowd and her face falls. She quickly sobers up as the woman makes her way over. Spencer catches the change in Ashley's demeanor, she turns her head in the direction Ashley is looking. Even in this light Spencer can tell that Ashley's face had gone pale. It doesn't take her long to figure out why she's reacting the way she is as the woman pushes past the crowd to get closer, a girl linked to her hand much like Ashley had been linked to Spencer's only several minutes later. Spencer quickly stands up and jumps in front of Ashley. She places her hands on either side of Ashley's face. The brunette's tense body softens only a little.
"You want to get out of here?" She shouts but it falls on deaf ears.
Spencer searches Ashley's eyes and she can see the heartbreak replaying in her eyes. Spencer swallows the lump in her throat. She's not even sure why the lump is there. It's like Spencer absorbed a minuscule amount of Ashley's sadness. Definitely minuscule because whatever Ashley's carrying in her right now is so heavy and is the only reason she's not answering the blonde right now. The tears well up in her eyes as she looks up into the safe blue ones. At least they seem safe.
"Ashley, talk to me," Spencer orders her voice confident and assuring.
"Ashley? I thought that was you," The woman shouts doing her best to be heard above Stevi's mixing.
Spencer becomes defensive. It's an instinct that she's not used to with someone so new. Possessive, protective, and primal. She stands between the brunette and the brunette's ex. She feels Ashley lean her forehead against her back, gripping her hip from behind.
"Can I help you?" Spencer asks with her New York attitude. She learned quickly and only releases it in necessary circumstances. Like the times, she's at the laundromat and someone tries to steal the dryer. Also the times when she walks across the streets and she needs to shout at taxi cabs for blocking her from getting to point B.
She feels the hairs on the back of her neck stand up as the woman across from her smirks. She holds her hand out and the blonde looks at it like it's something disgusting.
"I'm Heather," She introduces loudly making sure she's heard the first time. She flicks her short jet black hair out of her eyes. Her plaything keeps quiet, probably ordered to, Spencer muses.
"Okay?" Spencer says in a fashion like she waiting for the part where she's supposed to care.
Heather just laughs, trying to sidestep the blonde to get a better look at the hiding Dean.
"Ashley come on, we're both adults. Can't we just greet each other like civilized human beings?"
The grip around Spencer's waist tightens.
"I think you should go."
"Ashley?" Heather insists.
Spencer opens her mouth to say something but stops when she feels Ashley stand up.
"I don't have anything to say to you, and for you to think that I'd be willing to talk to you while you've got your trashy girlfriend tied to you only proves to me that you did me a favor," Ashley shouts, releasing every bit of anger and hurt she's been holding inside since the breakup.
She storms away from the scene leaving Spencer with a very shocked ex-girlfriend and offended homewrecker. She quickly follows Ashley out the door. Although an extremely short encounter, it left the blonde feeling awkward to the equivalent of something that lasted hours. She barely caught a real glimpse of the ex-girlfriend or the ex-girlfriend's girlfriend. Spencer's mind wanders as she wonders if that's the proper label.
The slightly cooler air hits their faces as they burst through the doors. Ashley isn't stopping, she's moving like she's prepping for the NYC marathon.
"Ashley!" Spencer calls after her and begins to lightly jog. She grips Ashley's elbow and is lurched forward slightly. "Ash…"
"I need to go."
"Okay," Spencer answers quickly, raising her hands in surrender. She isn't trying to stop the Dean. Clearly she's upset. It'd be idiotic to ask if she were okay. What the hell does she ask then? She chooses her go-to question.
"Want some food?" She asks with her charming smile, her eyes wide open, hoping that the exaggerated facial expression will lighten the extremely depressing aura they've got going on.
"Yeah, actually. Food would be nice."
Spencer smiles widely as she mentally pats herself on the back. Score one for Spencer. She imagines the crowd going wild in her head. While the other part of her wishes that whatever just happened inside would get explained. She's been thrown into the situation since day one. Willingly, she will admit but thrown in nonetheless. She's invested more than she thought she would be. She knows about Ashley now. Ashley knows about her. This is more than what either of them has signed up for. Spencer wonders if she should bail, but the thought quickly dissipates when she feels the brunette connect their hands. The blonde inhales deeply as they walk quietly side by side.
"Thank you." Ashley whispers.
"I didn't do anything," Spencer replies.
She really didn't think she had. She barely got Ashley out of the without having a total meltdown. How would that have played out if Ashley hadn't said anything? Probably would have been escorted out by Bruno. Would've been worth it.
"You're doing more than you know."
"Is it helping?" Spencer asks courageously, not really sure why she thought to ask.
"More than it probably should."
"Good."
They walk in silence the rest of the way. Grabbing some greasy, middle of the night Chinese. Only in New York will you find a Chinese restaurant open at three thirty in the morning. They end up back at the blonde's apartment, watching reruns of MASH, picking out of each other's cartons with chopsticks.
"That is my sesame chicken!" Spencer guffaws.
The brunette smiles as best she could while keeping her mouth closed. She swallows and goes for another piece.
"Hey!"
"It's good!" She counters, pouting.
"I know. That's why I ordered it."
"You need to learn to share."
"I don't though."
"I'll trade you broccoli for one more piece."
"Are you out of your mind? On what planet is that even a fair trade?"
"What's a fair trade then?"
Squinting one eye as she thinks, she slaps away Ashley's sneaky chopsticks with hers.
"A kiss."
"I can do that."
Ashley leans forward and capturing Spencer's lips in hers. It's different this time. It's not lusty, it's not ferocious, it's not desperate or hunger. It's sweet, caring, and attentive. In that small gesture, Spencer is able to tell Ashley something that she didn't even think she wanted to do. She didn't even think that it was something Ashley wanted from her, but she does it anyway. In that small gesture Spencer promises Ashley, she'd be there for her.
They pull away a little perplexed and Spencer doesn't hesitate to keep it from getting awkward.
"Just gimme the damn carton." Ashley squeals in delight as she switches cartons with Spencer. "Next time just order it so you don't have to steal it from me."
"But it's so much more fun this way!"
Spencer scowls at her playfully.
They lean back into the couch, talking idly about all things light while the seventies sitcom played on in the background. The summer air floating in through the slightly opened window, the atmosphere even more comfortable than either of them had expected even after a night like they had. However short it was. An incident that didn't feel like much but monumental enough to shift things. No, Spencer doesn't mind being a rebound but when exactly does that feeling stop?
The blonde yawns loudly as she shuffles into the kitchen. They had fallen asleep on the couch a couple hours before and Spencer led the brunette to her bed instead of out the door. She rubs her face as she leans down to look in the fridge to grab a bottle of water. Dehydration serious enough to wake her from her sleep. She jumps slightly as she sees Stevi standing by the island.
"My goodness!" She whispers harshly. "Make a noise you freak. What the hell is the matter with you walking around like you're some damned ninja in training?"
"It's my calling."
"Don't you sleep? What time did you get in?"
"I don't know, six maybe. You?"
"A little after four."
"I saw you at the club last night. You and Ashley were uh…"Stevi lets out a long whistle fanning herself.
"You need to get laid." Spencer teases trying to retreat back to her room.
Of course, her roommate doesn't make it that easy.
"You didn't stay for very long."
"Yeah, there was a…incident." She talks quietly making sure to keep the conversation low. She doesn't want the brunette to overhear her talking about her business. Not that she knew all her business but still.
"Intrigued…spill."
Spencer sighs. "We ran into Ashley's ex…I'd like to say it got heated, but really it just happened like a shot at the doctors. It was painful for several seconds and then the next thing I know it's over. The ex shows up, says some nonsense about wanting to talk, Ashley shouts, she bolts, I caught the girl's name though Heather. Looks like a classic cheater situation. That girl's a freaking idiot, I mean, passing up Ashley for that girl she was with. I mean has she seen Ashley, has she spent any real time with…what?"
Spencer jerks her head back. Stevi has a wide smile on her face.
"This is too good."
"What?" Spencer whines.
"It's unreal, like how long has it been?"
"How long has what been?"
"You met her on, what, Sunday? It's Thursday. Man, I mean, you wish and you pray for your life to be a quirky Rom-Com…"
"Stevi I'm not falling for Ashley. Yes, there's some chemistry there."
"Chemistry? You two are like a nuclear explosion waiting to happen. That girl in there, I don't know what she's been through but the way she is with you, it doesn't look like she's been dumped, or that her heart is even broken."
Spencer drops her head. "Stevi, I'm not asking you to drop this because I think it's fun banter. I'm asking you because if you don't, I won't and if this isn't what you keep saying it is I'm going to walk out of this feeling like an idiot. I know what this is supposed to be. Is it following whatever ridiculous rules society has given it? No, but right now. It's working for her…so it's working for me. So please…drop it. For me?"
Stevi's heart sinks a little as she looks into Spencer's blue eyes. She sees something in Spencer's eyes she's never really seen before. Fear. Fear of getting hurt, fear of this turning into more, or maybe fear of it ending but the longer she looks into her roommate's eyes the more she knows that it's none of those. It's the fear that this means much more to Spencer than it does to Ashley.
Stevi nods and gives her roommate a soft kiss on the cheek. Spencer gently taps Stevi's ass and walks to her room. Ashley lay in the bed snoring quietly, the blonde can't help but giggle at the sight of the brunette. She thinks of the ex-girlfriend from the club, she hadn't said no more than ten words to the girl but if she could say one more thing Spencer knew what it would be. Thank you.
Spencer takes a large sip of her water before she slips back into bed next to Ashley. She doesn't plan to cuddle the girl. She rests her arms behind her head looking up at the ceiling, her eyes drift close, willing herself back to sleep. They shoot open as she feels the brunette wrap an arm around her midsection, she freezes chalking it up to an action of the subconscious. It's not until Ashley mumbles something that makes Spencer relax.
"Spence, your body is stiff. Cut it out."
The blonde breathes out a laugh as she melts a little in Ashley's embrace and wraps an arm around Ashley's shoulders. The brunette moves her head to lay on Spencer's chest. Her heart races and she's hoping that Ashley can't feel it. Who's she kidding, it's nearly jumping out of her chest. She rolls her eyes out at herself, mentally cursing Stevi. Hopefully, this will get better instead of worse.
Spencer stretches and jumps as she sees Ashley sitting up staring at her. The brunette giggles pulling her hair up in a messy bun.
"Glad you find a possible heart attack funny."
"I find entertainment wherever I can get it."
Spencer grunts as she turns to the side propping her head on shoulder, looking at her guest she smiles tiredly.
"You sleep okay?"
"Actually, yeah. I'm a little surprised."
"Why?"
"Strange bed."
"You've fallen asleep in my bed before."
Ashley smirks. "You've always tired me out before though."
She sits up, closing the small space between them. "We should probably do a study to see which sleep leaves you better rested."
Ashley mumbles against Spencer's lips. "Sounds like an important task." Spencer nods capturing Ashley's lips, gently pushing her back. "Do you think we'll get accurate results?" She breaks free to ask the question. Loving the banter between them.
Spencer settles herself between the brunette's legs making sure to get comfortable before she follows through with the rest of actions.
"I think we're persistent enough to make sure our hypothesis will be proven correctly. If not we'll keep at it until it does." She kisses down Ashley's jaw line.
"If we have to." She retorts, angling her head in just the right position leaving enough space for the blonde to gain access.
"We must." She quips before
"For the good of the world I suppose."
Spencer grunts in agreement as she lifts the hem of Ashley's shirt. Ashley giggles burying her fingers in blonde tresses, getting lost in everything good that Spencer makes her feel. Spencer's phone buzzes and she chooses to ignore it. The phone goes off again, Spencer still ignores it, gripping the top of the sweats that she lent her to sleep in. A third time and the blonde doesn't really care that it's going off, but Ashley takes initiative and pushes the whimpering blonde away. She falls onto her back, crossing her arms over her chest petulantly. The brunette giggles and gives a pointed look as the blonde's phone sits silently for a second then goes off again.
"I think someone wants you." Ashley reaches over Spencer's body, and the writer fights the urge to pull her down and commence with her earlier activities.
"Unless that someone's you I don't care."
Spencer reaches up slipping her hand under the "Me? Sarcastic? Never." A t-shirt that she wore so well. It hugs in all the right places. Spencer licks her pink lips mentally debating if she should tackle Ashley or not. It wasn't a long debate before sits up and guides Ashley's face toward hers. The brunette giggles into the gesture, her body in an awkward position as she grips the edge of the bed with one hand, the other sitting on top of Spencer's phone and her face lip locked with Spencer's. Any move she makes she's bound to fall. That is until Spencer wraps her arm around Ashley's waist and quickly scoops her to fall straight on top of her body. Ashley squeaks in surprise.
"It's really creepy how strong you are." Ashley comments pushing herself up, her body still resting on top of Spencer's.
"You like it."
"I do," She admits resting Spencer's phone on top of her chest. It goes off again.
Spencer rolls her eyes answering the call. "Bishop," She says trying to keep her tone as friendly as possible.
"Spence, I'm sorry to bother you I know you've taken some personal days, but Jess asked me to call you."
Spencer groans. She rubs her face, trying to think. "What level is she on?"
That had been an inside joke between the two coworkers. It's simple enough to understand. Jess had been a nice person, but her bitch rating did fluctuate often. Especially when it came to getting work to her. Bishop often jokes that the woman had a thing for Spencer. It didn't help matters when the woman actually came onto her at the last year's office Christmas party. It had been awkward for a few weeks and if it hadn't been for Spencer straight out asking, the blonde would have thought that her shot with possibly getting published had something to do with her boss's attraction for her. Thankfully, it had been established that wasn't the case.
"I say she's at a four. She actually just seems to really want to talk about the manuscript you sent her yesterday."
Spencer had emailed her work to her boss, before heading out to take Ashley out. She sits up quickly interested in the conversation at hand.
"Did she say anything to you?"
"No just to get you on the phone and tell you to get your ass in her office."
"Yeah, uhm okay. I'll be there in about as soon as I can."
"Yes please if she passes my desk one more time I'm pretty sure she's going to slap me."
"Don't lie to yourself Bishop, you know very well you're a bottom."
Spencer laughs at the expletive that's thrown at her, then hangs up.
"I guess we'll have to rain check that experiment." Ashley states, mildly disappointed.
Spencer grabs a towel and licks her lips. "Not necessarily."
They stare at each other for a moment, Ashley bites her lip as she stares into blue eyes. Spencer nods her head in the direction of the bathroom. She skillfully backs her way towards the doorway.
"So?"
Ashley climbs off the bed and rushes toward the blonde. "You're a terrible influence."
"Yes, but you learn so much more from the terrible ones."
Spencer giggles as she Ashley pushes against, kissing her softly. "Looks like you've got a lot to teach me then."
Spencer groans at the sultry tone that is Ashley's voice as she turns and guides her to her shower.
Spencer walks into her office building, her mind flashing toward the sexy shower she had earlier. Leaving Ashley was not fun but the brunette promised that she would take her out for ice-cream if it were good news. Spencer then asked what if it were bad? Ashley promised to still take her out for ice-cream, but she didn't think it were anything for Spencer to worry about.
Spencer steps off the elevator with a little bounce in her step. As she makes her way towards her desk she gets pulled into Jess's office. The blonde stumbles into the woman's office. She nervously looks at her boss.
"Have a seat." Jess invites.
The writer sits hesitantly, wondering what all the dramatics were about. Is it really that serious? Jess sits behind her desk, resting her elbows on the glass desk, lacing her fingers together, then lastly resting her chin on her hands. Spencer fights an eye roll, she really wishes that Jess would just get on with it. The writer rests her ankle on her knee, jiggling it as she anticipates whatever her boss has to say.
"What's changed?" Jess finally asks.
Spencer's brow furrows in confusion. Is this good or bad? She just shrugs, sticking her bottom lip out.
"I don't know what you mean."
"You haven't had anything to give me for a long time and all of a sudden I've got half a book in my inbox. So, what's changed?"
Spencer looks down. She would like to say that she didn't know, but she does. Ashley has been a muse that she didn't see coming. It's been writer's block since the mention of being able to write a book. The stress of having to produce something snuck up on her but Ashley's presence has been a wonderful distraction as well as an inspiration. The story she writes lightly based off of personal experience as she focuses on writing about two young people who go through life's motion. They pass each other every day during transit, hold eye contact for ten seconds each time, wordlessly falling in love. The concept showing the intimacy between two people that goes beyond the physical. That goes beyond speaking. That goes beyond understanding because really, love often doesn't make any sense. The title pending as the story still was developing. The story took on a life of its own and Spencer is just the translator of the jungle of ideas that lurks in her mind.
"A girl," she answers honestly. "She's just someone I met and she's sort of just been this really healthy distraction from my self-mutilation of storylines."
Spencer stops there, not sure if the information would bother her boss. That's half the reason, the other half is that it's really not any of her business nor does Spencer want to reveal that much of her personal life. Jess nods as she soaks up the reasoning.
"Well whatever it is she's doing, let her keep doing it. I honestly believe you've got an amazing concept here. It's heart-wrenchingly irresistible." Jess shakes her head as she flips through the pages of Spencer's first draft that she printed out.
The blonde smiles, looking down bashfully.
"Has she read it?" Her boss asks.
"Uh, no. She hasn't. I never really thought I'd give it to her to read."
"Well, she's going to read it sooner or later."
Spencer perks up, her full attention on her boss as she waits to completely hear what she's about to tell her.
"Seriously?"
"Seriously. Get me the second half of this book. We've got some work to do before we start advertising."
The blonde sat in her seat stunned. She forgot how to move. It isn't until Jess gets up from her desk and walks over with her arms open. In reflex, the soon to be published writer stands and walks into her embrace.
"Congratulations Spencer, I'm honored to work with you."
Spencer mumbles out a string of words not sure if she's making any sense. She's pretty sure she asked for more time off to finish her novel, which she got mostly because Spencer had never been one to really take her vacation time until the last minute. She never really had a reason to because she loves what she does, it had never been work.
She leaves her bosses office and walks towards Bishop in a zombie-like state. She tells him the good news and he freaks out, scaring the entire office as he celebrates. The blonde laughs as she gets pulled into his arms, getting a large hug.
"We gotta celebrate! Tonight! Dinner! All of us!"
She shushes him and nods in agreement. "I'll let everyone know. Thank you." She tells him sincerely. "If it hadn't been for you annoying me so much I probably wouldn't have even mentioned that I write."
"I finally get thanked for being annoying."
"Probably the only time too."
They share a chuckle then Spencer heads towards the exit. She grabs her phone and sends a group text to her roommates, informing them of the good news. A slew of celebratory emojis bombards her phone. She calls her parents as she walks the streets of New York, unsure of her where her feet are taking her. She catches up with her parents, apologizing for her absence, trying her hardest not to let her mother guilt trip ruin her great news.
"Yes mom, I promise I will visit for the holidays this year. I love you too." Spencer hangs up relieved that's she shared the news with everyone that matters.
She looks up to see where she is and chuckles at herself. She walks up the set of stairs and presses the buzzer. She stands for a minute waiting for an answer, but it doesn't come. She presses it again making sure she hits the right apartment, again no answer. She wants to share this great news with Ashley and invite her to her celebration dinner but wants to do it in person. She calls the brunette and smiles when she hears her voice.
"Hello?"
Her smile quickly fades as nothing but pain laces Ashley's voice. Everything but the woman on the phone is quickly forgotten about.
"What's wrong?"
Ashley sniffles and tries to clear her throat. "Nothing."
"Bullshit, where are you?"
Spencer doesn't know how to act right now.
"Spencer…"
"Open the door." She orders. It's not gentle, or playful. It's stern and hard and unlike any demeanor Spencer's ever taken with the brunette before.
It works though as several seconds later the buzzer sounds, allowing the writer to wrench the door open. She bolts up the stairs, almost knocking over some old woman. Spencer quickly realizes who it is as she gets called a troglodyte. She still has to look up what the hell a troglodyte is but that's for concern for a later time. Right now it's all about Ashley.
She knocks on the door and it opens momentarily. Ashley's eyes are puffier than when they first met. The tears are fresh. Spencer just steps forward pulling Ashley into her arms. The brunette burrows her face into Spencer's neck and cries hard. Her body wrenching in both physical and emotional pain. The reality of their situation hit Spencer like a ton of bricks and she is quickly sobered from the love drunk state she's been experimenting with. Ashley's still healing and Spencer's just her morphine. The blonde's heart wrenches a little and she saves her internal scolding for another time.
She rubs gentle circles around Ashley's back. Kicking the door closed behind them, making sure to keep this moment private. She gently twists back and forth, attempting some type of rocking motion to calm the brunette down. Her heavy sobs turn to exasperated sighs. Spencer rubs Ashley's scalp, soothing her to the best of her ability. Her eyes close as she feels lips press against her neck. She wants to stop the brunette but knows this is what she is to Ashley. She's just a rebound. She quickly settles into her title, pushing away all feelings. She connects her lips with Ashley's, ignoring the tears that are rolling from Ashley's eyes and rolling onto her cheek. Ashley needs her to ignore it, so she does. She does that thing that turns Ashley on so much, bending down a bit and grabbing the brunette behind her legs, hoisting her up and leading towards her bedroom.
Spencer drops her onto the bed, a little rough, she rips her shirt off flinging it haphazardly, not caring where it lands. She notices Ashley staring at her hips, then her eyes travel towards her sides. She smirks.
"Ask." She says.
"Why'd you get them, tattoos don't seem like you?"
Spencer just shrugs as she unbuttons her jeans revealing more of her tattoos. Spencer's brows furrow as she pulls the bottom of her jeans, slipping them off her legs.
"Really? I never got that before. They're the epitome of me. They're everything that means anything to me as a writer."
She points to the quotation marks on her pelvic bone. "The essence of dialogue," she points to the punctuation marks in the shape of infinity on the other side. "The ellipses, comma, question mark, exclamation, and period are the dictators of what one should feel when reading or writing." She traces the infinity sign, "And how it will constantly be that way."
Her eyes flick away from her tattoos over to Ashley as she watches the brunette soak in her explanations. She moves on, moving up a little higher and to the left. On her ribcage a quote. She reads it out loud knowing it by heart.
"It is impossible to live without failing at something unless you live so cautiously that you might as well not have lived at all-in which case you fail by default. J.K. Rowling."
Spencer smirks at herself, her obsession with that woman really is at a whole other level. She points at her last one which is a quill dipping into a bottle of ink where the ink is the letters of the alphabet all jumbled up. Spencer shrugs.
"That one's self-explanatory I feel. I plan on getting one more. My very last one I'm not sure what it will be yet though, but I know I want one."
Spencer places one knee onto the bed, crawling to lie between Ashley's legs. "Do they make sense now?"
Ashley nods a little speechless. She clears her throat, mostly because she's in search of what to say. The moods shifts a bit, Ashley's detour taking away from ferocity Spencer had before. She attempts to kiss Ashley but is met with the brunette's cheek. Spencer sits back against her heels and looks at the brunette confused.
"What's up?"
"I don't know," She confesses.
"Do you not want to?"
"Yes…no…yes."
Spencer chuckles and nods, leaning over the edge of the bed to grab her jeans. "How about we just talk, you seem like you have a lot on your mind."
Spencer slips on her jeans as Ashley begins to vent.
"I was fine. A few hours ago, you left me and I was fine. I got home and just broke down from last night."
Spencer nods as she stands up to grab her shirt from the ground and slips it over her head. Ashley sitting with her knees tucked against her chest. She rests her chin upon it, her eyes follow Spencer as she sits back on the bed next to her listening attentively.
"I was doing okay but it's like as soon as I'm left alone with my thoughts I just think about how much she hurt me."
"Yeah…" Spencer whispers agreeing in sympathy.
"Then there's you. I don't know what you're doing to me, but I cry because you're so amazing, funny, gorgeous, smart, sweet, the list goes on and if I'm being honest so easy to fall for."
Spencer's eyes shoot open, she had not been expecting that.
"I'm not fair to you."
"Ash…"
"No, listen."
Spencer doesn't want to, though. This is the start of conversations that lead to disappointment. Anytime anyone ever talks about how great you are, it's usually lead with a reason why whatever it is that's going on has to end. Spencer tries to steer the conversation anywhere else other than the cliff it's threatening to go over.
"I cry more because I feel like I'm hurting you more than how much she's hurt me. Then you come here and just be and do whatever I want."
"That's our agreement," She answers dismissively, pushing some of her long blonde hair behind her ear.
"That doesn't bother you?"
"It can't," She states even if it did a tiny bit.
Ashley groans and falls back onto her bed. Spencer straddles her and pins her arms above her head.
"What's this really about Ashley? Ever since I got here, it's been a roller coaster of emotions."
"That's exactly it, though. I'm feeling things I shouldn't be feeling."
"Like?"
"Like…guilt."
"About me?"
"Yes…I feel guilty. I'm using you Spencer and I don't like using people."
"Even if they gave you permission?"
Ashley awkwardly shrugs, Spencer still pinning her arms above her head. The blonde lowers herself to gently kiss the brunette. Ashley complies.
"What else do you feel?" Spencer turns the situation around, letting Ashley confess her feelings but making sure that she's comfortable the whole time through. Allowing the Dean to be pleasured with every pain that's threatening to consume her.
Ashley's eyes close as Spencer drags her tongue slowly up her neck.
"Angry…"
"Because?" She stops for a second before she adds her fingers to the mix, slipping them under Ashley's shirt.
"Because I let her get to me because I let her ruin the fact that for the first time in months I've been happy."
This makes Spencer stop. She feels Ashley freeze as well. Spencer wants to stop, but Ashley bucks her hips upward, wordlessly asking her not to. Spencer starts back up again relentlessly.
"Anything else?" Spencer asks, this time more out of curiosity than plain old relieving emotional stress.
"Confused." She sighs out.
"About?" Spencer goes back to working the brunette's neck.
She stops when she feels the brunette strain to look into blue eyes.
"You."
Spencer stops, succumbing to the direction of this conversation. Sure she can continue to distract Ashley but who's going to distract her. She sits up and scoots off the bed. She paces back and forth rubbing her scalp.
"I'm sorry." Ashley apologizes. Her voice is soft as a whisper. Spencer just nods as she rubs her face in frustration.
"You don't have anything to apologize for."
"I do…"
"Am I a mistake?"
"What! No! Of course not."
"You apologize when you make mistakes. So you have nothing to apologize for."
"I do. I'm sorry I'm a mess."
"I was never one for perfection…it's misleading."
"See, that! That right there."
Spencer smirks. "What?"
"This is why you confuse me. One second you're pacing having some kind of panic attack next thing you're being all flirty."
Spencer shrugs and stands akimbo. "It's what you need."
"What I need?"
"Yeah I'm being as simple as possible. You don't need complicated."
Ashley gets up and grabs Spencer, sighing heavily. She rests her head against her chest, hearing her erratic heartbeat.
"So you've got it all figured out then, without even talking to me?"
Spencer takes a step away from the brunette. Everything in her is buzzing. A mixture of anxiety, excitement, and anticipation. She's not even sure what she's excited about exactly. Spencer chalks it up to her news from earlier. Her mind wanders again much like it did in the office when Ashley was talking about wanting to get to know one another. Her good news calms her down, refocuses her thoughts and she turns around.
"When you first called me that night, what did you need?"
Spencer quirks a brow, waiting for Ashley to honest about the situation. Ashley looks down, still recovering from the hurt of Spencer walking away from her. She fights off her analytical thoughts that make her try to figure out why that hurt more than her run in with her ex last night. Her eyes flick up when Spencer calls out to her.
"What did you need?" She spoke slowly annunciating each word, daring Ashley to deny it.
"I needed to forget," She whispers out.
"And did you?" Spencer asks, Ashley just nods. "So let's forget…"
Spencer closes the gap between them, burying her fingers in Ashley's hair, kissing her. Ashley takes in a sharp breath and releases a moan. Her knees go weak, but she's held up by Spencer's arm wrapped around her waist. Spencer walks the brunette back slowly until the back of her knees hit the edge of the bed. She lays her down gently, mentally debating how to go about this. Should she go rough, possessive? She bites her lip as she stares down at the brunette. Oh, how she would love to own Ashley's body right now but it's not about her. Gentle maybe. Slow. Fast and recurrent, she smirks as she thinks about bringing the brunette over the edge repeatedly. As she ponders what to do to Ashley, Ashley sits up grabs the top of her jeans. She gets onto her knees and kisses Spencer. She crawls back pulling Spencer onto the bed with her. The blonde just follows willingly.
Ashley lays her down, she straddles the blonde. Spencer looks up at her sex buddy, rests her hands on her hips.
"What are you doing?" Spencer asks with a small smirk.
"Taking charge."
"Sexy." She quips.
"You do more than just make me forget Spencer…" Ashley stares into blue eyes. "You make me remember."
"Remember what?" She asks curiously.
"You already know."
Ashley bends down and captures Spencer's lips in a heated kiss. Spencer sits up and wraps her arms around the brunette. She attempts to flip them, but Ashley pulls away.
"No." Spencer's brows furrow in confusion. "This time…it's about you."
Spencer gulps as she watches Ashley remove her top. She licks her lips forgetting about the reason she came to Ashley's in the first place as she remembers what it is about their arrangement she enjoys so much.
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