"I just want to love and be loved. Is this too much to ask for?"
oOo
Yao flopped down giddily on the duvet. He hunched slightly forward and clutched the pipe close to him. He took a deep inhalation and puffed. His muscles relaxed upon the onset of the drug's influence. His shoulders slumped as he brushed a strand of sleek, black hair off his left cheek. The alluring odor wafting out from the weed gradually got through his nostrils.
"My, my, just how stressed are you, love?" A hoarse voice scoffed in a thick British accent. "I don't have much weed left."
Yao twitched a little but didn't turn around. He decided to ignore Arthur's taunt and concentrated on smoking his beloved pressure-reliever. It doesn't matter if Arthur had got none left. He would just finish this one and took a long, wondrous slumber.
"Tell me, what is it this time, Yao?" A pair of desperate arms enveloped him from behind. Arthur agilely snuck into the duvet and cuddled the Chinese boy. He briskly stole a mouthful from Yao, causing the other boy to pout and glare at him.
"Boo." The blond blew a ring of smoke right at Yao's face and then sealed their lips together with a fierce kiss.
"Hmm…" Yao moaned with an effortless attempt to protest. Soon, his breath was blended with the taste of Arthur's lips. It reeked of intense cigarettes and marijuana.
When they finally withdrew from each other, Yao panted and blushed. His body tensed up the instant Arthur gingerly slipped his hand underneath his school uniform.
"S-Stop…aru," Yao stammered, with no intention of imploring whatsoever. Arthur stopped exploring his soft abdomen and diverted his attention to fondling the beautiful, proud black hair sashaying over his shoulders.
"What's the matter, love?"
"I'm homeless aru," Yao managed to spill it out with a despondent sigh.
"Your goddamn father again?"
"He…er…he doesn't approve of our relationship…" Yao recited, recalling that one particular scene where his extremely strict and conservative father castigated him after learning about his sexuality. "That…is just the tip of the iceberg though…he…he's always loathed me. I'm not surprised…My grades are slipping and he's mad."
"So he's kicked you out?" Arthur cocked his bushy eyebrows and feigned an astounded expression. He laughed inwardly.
"Erm…" Yao leaned exhaustedly against his boyfriend, his lids dropping slowly as his consciousness faded away. "He…disowned me…I…I can't go back anymore, Arthur…"
The Chinese boy suddenly jolted and sprang up in agitation. A drop of tear rolled down his cheek as he grabbed Arthur's arms and shook them. "I'm lost…Arthur…I don't know what to do now aru…If I go back, I will have to stop seeing you…And he might even transfer me to somewhere else…My father…he's never genuinely treated me as his son…I'm just a commodity…a shield for his pride…an object to boast about…I have nowhere to go now…and if he knows I'm doing drugs and all, he'll seriously strangle me to death. I…I have no friends…everyone despises me. It's only you…that's left…"
"Sh..." Arthur shushed the unhinged boy and embraced him. "Don't worry, Yao. You can always stay here with me. I'm glad you're now free from your deranged father."
"I left home because I chose you aru…You…You won't abandon me, right?"
"Absobloodylutely not. What gives you that idea? You can't live without me. I'll always be here for you."
"R-Really? Do you…do you love me? Honest?" Yao asked, his eyes blinking with anticipation. Arthur was the sole person he could depend on now. There was no turning back, regardless of how insane this love between them was.
"Of course," Arthur grinned, slowly laying the Asian down on the mattress.
"Then…it's…good…you'll never leave me aru?"
"My, I love you so much, Yao. I would do anything for you."
"P-Promise?" Yao quavered. He couldn't imagine what life would be without Arthur. His world would crumble down. He had lost his reputation, his inheritance, and now his dignity and conscience just to be with this British boy he loved more than anything on the earth. He could endure all the pain just to be with him forever.
"Yes, I promise," Arthur smiled sweetly as he bent down to kiss the male.
oOo
The bell rang. Yao scurried to the lockers. His unkempt hair floated in the air. This would be the twentieth time he was late to school in just one semester and he could already envision the consequences.
He halted in front of his locker, ignoring all the unsightly, foul paints covering his door. He sighed and flung open his locker door. As usual, a stack of garbage and creased paper flooded his vision. He rummaged through the pile of rubbish and pulled out his textbooks, only to feel a heavy hand land on his shoulder. He cringed but before he could utter a word, he was brutally turned around and pinned against the wall. He grunted.
"Mornin' little mouse. How're ya doin'?" A husky voice sniggered, immediately joined by a couple of others.
Yao glowered at Antonio, a Spanish boy from his class.
There it goes again.
"Geez, Antonio, told you that's not the way to do it!" said Gilbert. The slightly taller albino strode forward with a devilish grin. "See how frightened the black kitty looks! Let the awesome me take over, yeah?"
"Onhonhonhon, you two should just back off and watch big brother do the deed~" laughed the French boy with shoulder-length blond hair.
"W-What do you…want this time…" Yao scowled, trying to look as brave as he could. His hands quivered.
"Oh come on, you know what we all want," Afonso, a Portuguese with a tiny brown ponytail, smirked. "You've been coming late to school every day. Are you trying to avoid us?"
"Please…go away…" Yao pleaded, his eyes darting everywhere in search of escape.
"Look at you. What the hell did Arthur do to you? Never thought the genius bookworm would ever come to school in a mess," Antonio laughed, scanning the dishevelled Asian from head to toe.
Yao growled and shoved Antonio away. He gave Gilbert a hard kick. Clasping his books firmly, the Chinese boy immediately fled towards the exit. Francis and Afonso caught up with him and blocked his way.
A smack landed on his face promptly. Yao stumbled backwards. His books scattered all over the ground. He rubbed his swollen cheek with tears. Antonio and Gilbert stood back up and pushed him against the lockers. He gasped when Gilbert punched him in the stomach. He fell. The other boys yanked him up again.
Barely able to retaliate, Yao mumbled a few pleas and stopped struggling. He tried his best to swallow his sobs.
"Sneaky dullard. Do you think you can evade us?"
"You can't fight us. Now give us your money."
"We ain't got the whole day, Yao. Our lunch has to be paid."
"I…I have no money…" Yao stuttered.
"Liar."
Gilbert snarled and slapped Yao again. The boy whined and collapsed to the floor.
"I…I'm not lying aru…"
"Damn it!" A hand hauled him up and tossed him across the floor. Yao coughed and propped himself up with his elbows.
"Get up and answer us- WHERE IS THE MONEY?" Gilbert hollered and lifted his fist.
Antonio and Francis took their friend's arms and held him back.
"Stop it, Gil. At this rate, the teachers will find us!" Antonio yelped.
"That's pretty much enough. Maybe he really doesn't have it on him," Francis frowned.
"Let's search his pockets," Afonso suggested. He straddled the Chinese boy immediately and flipped his pockets inside out.
"I'll take his bag," Gilbert echoed.
As the gang ripped open every single pocket, a Japanese boy passed by and caught Yao's attention. Yao stared hopefully at his half-brother, Kiku, with a tear-drenched face, wishing that somehow conscience would incite the other boy to seek help.
However, that hope was shattered when the gang discovered Kiku.
"Woah, hey, cutie boy," Francis winked Kiku and blew him an enticing kiss.
The boy only bowed politely and greeted, "Good morning, Francis-san."
"Hey, Kiku, your brother here says he's penniless. Is that true?" Antonio asked.
"Is true," Kiku shrugged. "Father disowned him two weeks ago and cut down all the financial support. He is not my brother anymore. He's no longer a part of the family."
"Kiku…" Yao snivelled.
"Gomen'nasai, everyone. If you'd excuse me, I'm heading to the History class," Kiku said and trotted away.
"So, even Kiku doesn't admit that you're his bruther. How miserable~" Gilbert mocked.
"Well, who can blame him? He's wise enough to side with us," Francis laughed.
"Great, so we came here for nothing." Afonso snorted and jammed his hands into his pockets. "Guess I'll have to borrow a few coins from Cheng. See you guys later."
The gang left Yao on the ground. The Chinese boy rose slowly and gathered his wrinkled books. He put them back into his ragged back and slung it over his shoulder. Wiping the blood stains off his mouth, he tied his hair into a loose, messy tail and hobbled back to his classroom.
oOo
Yao squeezed through the crowded hallway. He crumpled his test paper and dumped it into the bin. He tried to forget his teacher's rants. He scuttled past his school mates. Some stared at him in disdain. Some grimaced. He shut his eyes and turned around the corner. He stopped when a tomato was smashed against his back.
A flash blinded his eyes. Francis held up his cellphone and smiled.
"What an adorable, grumpy face, mon cher~ Go straight into my cute, cute collection!"
"You're so disgusting," Gilbert said and rolled his eyes.
Yao glared at the boys.
"Hey, you're such an eye-sore, you know that?"
"No," Yao replied calmly.
"And your clubs sucks! I'm glad to hear that your shitty Gardening Club got dissolved by the Student Union."
"What's the matter? Cat caught your tongue? You used to talk back at us. Did Arthur tame you?"
"If angering me is your amusement, no, I will not yield to a bunch of idiots like you aru," Yao said. "You know why I refused to join your gang in the first place? Because you guys are so pathetic. It's as if exerting power over someone else is the only way you can find your own value of existence. You can continue rotting in your miserable life. I don't care for whatever you have to say about me. You should all fuck one other-"
"What did you just say?" Gilbert howled and raised his fist.
"Wait, Gil," Antonio hissed, gripping the rim of Gilbert's cardigan. The Spanish boy leant forward and whispered something into his buddy's ear. The "bad touch trio" then chuckled in coherence.
"So, I'm guessing you're looking for Arthur?" Gilbert smiled.
"That is none of your business."
"Well, I can tell you where he is. He's in the storage room," Afonso smirked and glimpsed his watch. "He's usually there at this hour, making out with that American junior."
Yao frowned and took a step back.
"If you don't believe me, you can go there now," Afonso winked.
"Have fun, girly," Antonio laughed.
Yao bit his bottom lip and trembled. He ran to the storage room at the back of the school building and flung open the door.
He stared as Arthur bent down to kiss a blond-haired boy- an eighth grade junior.
The name was Al…Alfred something…
He never wanted to succumb to all those rumors. Even though he knew that his boyfriend was practically the most renowned punk in school, he chose to believe that his confession was genuine. He never spared a second doubting Arthur's loyalty. He had forsaken everything for him. He could abandon everything; just about everything; even his own virtues just to please and satisfy Arthur Kirkland; because he was the first and only person who approached him; who had taken the initiative to free him from his cage; to profess love and faith to him.
And yet…
Everything was just a lie.
A beautiful lie.
"Arthur?"
The two boys gasped. Alfred spun up abruptly and adjusted his glasses. His blue eyes fell upon the Chinese boy.
Arthur stood up and straightened his tie.
"You could've just knocked, Yao."
"What is this aru?" Yao shook his head.
"Oops, guess I gotta go. Excuse me, dudes."
Alfred got up and hurried past Yao.
"What do you mean?" Arthur blinked.
"Why…you…with that guy…"
"Is there a problem?"
"Are you cheating on me?"
"It's quite obvious, isn't it?" Arthur shrugged. "But I won't say it's cheating, Yao. We aren't even dating."
"What?" Yao frowned. "What are you talking about? We are…I thought we were…"
"Exactly. You thought," Arthur smiled. "Everything's just your own imagination."
"No…you said…you said that you love me…"
"Yea? So?"
"So…we should be together…I mean…I gave up everything for you…You said you would stay with me. Why did you keep avoiding my calls? I've been trying to look for you for the past few days…Please, just tell me, what's wrong with our relationship? Is it me? Did I do something wrong, Arthur?"
"You didn't do anything wrong," Arthur murmured. "It's just a play, okay? And I've thoroughly enjoyed your company. That is."
"Wait…this is a joke…right? Please tell me, what were you doing to Alfred? Why were you-"
"Oh, won't you stop interrogating me, Yao?" Arthur said. "Sometimes, you've got to find some answers for your own questions. With your eyes, dear."
"Arthur, I love you. Please, just…don't leave me, okay? I'll do anything?" Yao begged and shook Arthur's arms.
"Now would you stop touching me. We're over." Arthur brushed off Yao's hand and shook his head. "We have never started in the first place."
Yao widened his eyes.
"Everything's just a set-up, dear. It's a prank, okay?"
"A…prank…"
"A penalty game. A bet. They thought I couldn't tame you but well, I'm actually more competent than Francis. There's nothing I can't handle. I must say getting my hands on you was pretty thrilling. You're such a stubborn, spoiled-rotten piece."
"I don't get this aru…" Yao sobbed. "This…This is a lie…I don't understand a single thing you're saying aru…You…"
"Well done, Arthur."
The gang laughed.
"They say he's the most obstinate princess in the school. I can't believe you really did that, man." Antonio laughed and patted Arthur's back.
"Yeah, it was quite fun seeing you stumble and get rejected. But then you actually succeeded in tricking him into drugs. How wicked," Afonso smiled.
"Oh shut up, bloody wankers. I don't need to be judged by any one of you. I do what I like."
"So, you got caught red-handed while making out with Alfie?" Gilbert laughed.
"Yao, how do you feel now?"
"You came out as if you're the centre of the school," Afonso said. "Let this be a lesson for you, Asian boy."
"And may I remind you, no one likes you around. It's not you who doesn't want us. It's we who don't want you here."
"So…this is…your revenge…? Just because I teased you guys once in the past," Yao whimpered and stared at Arthur in pain. "Just because…I refused to join your gang?"
"We just love fooling around with you. You're so fun to pick on," Antonio said and threw a bitten tomato right at Yao's face. "By the way, we had fun watching your tape."
"What…tape?" Yao's face paled.
"You still believe that Arthur has genuinely loved you?"
Yao peeked at Arthur, who only shrugged.
"We enjoyed seeing a bigheaded, self-righteous honour student fall. You're so dense, Yao. I've never loved you," Arthur grinned. "Everything's just a show."
"And, mind you, from now on, you have to do exactly what we say or else-" Gilbert smiled and unlocked his cellphone. Yao stared at the screen in horror. His own groans filled his ears.
No way…
"How could you…" Yao glared at Arthur with tears. "You…taped…me?"
The humiliation was far too much for him to bear. The screen kept re-looping his flushed face as he drowsily made love with Arthur. Arthur's face was never shown in the video though. There was only him.
"Delete it!" Yao shrieked and jumped at Gilbert. Gilbert shoved him to the ground. "Get rid of it!"
"Nah, we've got copies among us. We'll show it to everyone at school if you disobey us. You're now our lackey, girlie."
The gang snickered and left the room. Yao sat on the floor weeping quietly.
"Please…don't do this to me aru…" he mumbled and looked at Arthur. "I…I love you…I really do…I'll change…I mean…I can change…but please don't leave me aru…you promised…"
"I'm sorry, Yao. I'm really sorry," Arthur apologised and squatted down to face Yao. "It's impossible for us to be together. I'm sorry for using you. You should just go back to your family, Yao. Forget what's happened between us. Don't provoke Gilbert's gang again."
"I-Impossible…?" Yao frowned. "But the promise…you said…"
"Sorry…" Arthur muttered and stood up.
"Sorry…?" Yao looked down at his own lap. "You aren't sorry….at all…you aren't…you never are…"
oOo
Chun Yan waited impatiently at the school gate.
"Don't worry, Yan," Mei reassured. "I texted him already. He should be here soon."
"Soon? We've been waiting here for an hour! He should've been here long ago unless of course he has detention which is impossible because Yao never gets one!"
"Don't you think…it's a bit absurd to be standing here? Like the boys keep staring at us," Mei blushed as a couple of boys came through the gate and winked at them.
"No, fuck this school. These guys creep me out. I can't believe Dad sends Yao to this awful boarding school."
"You know…we really need to mend this thing between them. I don't want brother to squabble with Dad again."
"God knows why they always bicker. That bastard child Kiku won't stop mediating with our family affairs! I know what he's trying to do! He wants to drive Yao away because he's the only blood-related male descendent to WANG's household! If Yao's disowned, he'll be the next to inherit Dad's fortune!"
"Stop speaking of Kiku that way, Yan!" Mei argued. "It's just your own assumption! Kiku isn't that kind of a person."
"Having a crush on your own brother, Mei? Seriously? Even if you aren't blood-related, this still counts as incest," Yan said and crossed her arms.
"Stop it! I never… I've never said I…" Mei trailed off. "I can't believe you said that about me!"
"Well, I don't care. Just so you know, unlike you, always fawning over that bastard child, I detest him. He doesn't even belong to this household. He is adopted. And he's stolen everything from us, including Dad's affection and respect. I will make him pay for everything he's done to Yao."
"Yan…look!" Mei gulped and pointed to a wobbling figure from afar. The two girls realised it was their dear older brother and dashed towards him.
"Yao!"
"Brother!"
"Yan…? Mei?" Yao frowned. He wished he could dig a hole and crawl into it.
"What's happened to you?" Yan whined and hugged him. "Oh my gosh, who did this to you? Why are you in such a mess? Yao? Please tell us! We'll help you out!"
"Brother…" Mei trembled as she examined her battered brother. She could hardly believe that a clean freak like him would allow anyone to see him in dirty clothes and untied hair. "What's wrong? What's happened during these weeks you were away?"
"I'm…alright aru…" Yao said mindlessly. "Alright…alright…"
"Yao?" Chun Yan pulled away from her twin and tilted her head warily. "Where's that punk? Why isn't he with you? Are you still staying over at his apartment?"
"Please come home, brother. You have us worried sick. Even Dad is sulking."
"Will you come back to us? That thug isn't worth all your attention, Yao," Yan said. "You used to do so well at school and spend so much time with us before you met him and his friends. But now…look at you…you look so beaten and tired. What did he do to you?"
"I'll tell Leon and Yong Soo! They will stand up for ya!" Mei cried.
"Don't…drag them into this," Yao sighed. "I can…handle this aru…Give me some time…It'll be alright…"
"Yao, I'm sorry. I should've come earlier. Let's go home, yes?" Chun Yan begged and tugged Yao's sleeves.
"We're all waiting. Kiku says he's sorry too. He will make it up to you," Mei sobbed. "It's just that…he can't go against those bullies. He's scared of getting picked on himself…That's why he refrains from backing you up."
"It's okay…I forgive him aru…" Yao smiled and handed Chun Yan some of his textbooks and stationery. "Hold these for me, please. I've forgotten something in the classroom. I'll…be back shortly."
"You'll come home with us then? Yes?" Chun Yan beamed.
Yao nodded and jogged back to the school building.
oOo
The sky was adorned with a shade of scarlet beam. The setting sun glittered with warmth. Yao basked in the autumn breeze and held up a cherry blossom. With a soft chuckle, he set free the stunning flower and watched its petals fly beautifully in the sky.
He took one last peep at the greenhouse- his secret garden on the rooftop.
He remembered planting and tending to blooms here every day when his committee members were still present.
Now it was down to him alone.
He had always been alone.
"I just wish to love and be loved. Is this too much to ask for?" Yao smiled at the sky and hummed to no one in particular. He held out his arms. A bird chirped and flew past his head. He closed his eyes and leapt off the edge.
The sound of wind resounded in his ears.
He could hear freedom sing.
The walls drifted past him.
He spread out his arms, feeling ever so peaceful and serene.
The power of gravity embraced him.
He smiled as his body cracked on the ground.
And he finally dozed off in his own pool of shimmering blood.