Author's Note:

Thank you for all the support this story has gained so far. Every favorite/follow/review/normal view is highly appreciated and gives me that extra push to continue writing even in this atrocious weather.

Enjoy.

Chapter 9: Aftermath

"Erwin."

I tore my eyes away from the face in the wall but only because his voice had startled me in the otherwise quiet plaza. Levi swiftly started towards where we stood, or, at least, as fast as he could—there were bound to be consequences from his earlier act—, and his gorgeous mouth had tightened into a grim line. His silvery eyes were ruthless and quickly scanned the crowd until they narrowed and focused on Nile Dok's shocked face.

"You have to…" someone panted, "you must hurry to cover its face!"

An elderly man clad in a black cassock came running down a western street, his thick, golden necklaces clattering and glimmering in the sunlight. I recognized him to be one of the wall preachers, or as Sebastian had called them: wall fools. My brother had disliked them almost as much as he had despised the Military Police Brigade and although my memory could be incorrect, I remembered it to have something to do with how they opposed to the way the walls were armed and maintained, which further made such preparations difficult and forced to be discussed in military court. Personally, I didn't have any issues with them and both Miriam and Lydia were firm believers, frequently visiting the local chapel even with Sebastian's complaints.

The preacher hurried to a certain auburn-haired woman and mumbled something in a breathless voice as he folded over, leaning his tall body on his knees. Hange's expression stiffened but before I could get closer, Levi had reached me and Erwin, and so had the commander of the Military Police Brigade. It seemed like the preacher's appearance had broken the spell that had kept everyone frozen and staring at the horrifying thing in the wall and suddenly, everyone began breathing again. Even the weather seemed to exhale and the soothing breeze was very pleasant in comparison to the harsh, dirt-filled winds that had whipped throughout the scene of the titan-shifters' brutal battle. The silence was replaced with loud arguments between the soldiers from the two fractions.

"Nile," Levi spat as he turned towards the man. He stood so close to me as his gear would allow but didn't reach out to touch me, something I was more than grateful for; I hadn't realized how worried I had been for him—for no reason, obviously—and I didn't think my heart would take any more hysteria. "What the hell are you doing here? Weren't you supposed to find cover?"

The brown-haired soldier on Nile Dok's right side stiffened at Levi's acid tone and opened his mouth to retort just as harshly when Levi's focus landed on him. Instantly, he bit down on his bottom lip and visibly shrunk away from the shorter man's gaze. The noticeably tall, green-eyed soldier who had saved my life once and my backside equally many times stood on the commander's other side with a tense expression on her pale features, ignoring Levi completely. I had yet to thank her for her kind deeds but the situation didn't call for such a courtesy; she seized a yet quiet Erwin by his shoulder and checked his handcuffs before looking at her superior.

"I wanted to get them out of the fray and take the safest route to beyond the wall," replied Commander Dok heatedly after nodding at the woman. "It was our best option, considering the horrible circumstances you fools plunged us into. What did you even think? The city suffered severe damage thanks to your little stunt and both soldiers and civilians have died! To what purpose?"

"For humanity, Nile," Erwin answered instead of a sneering Levi. I glanced up at him; his icy blue eyes burned with fierce determination. "Everything that happened here today has set us on a course towards a better future."

His words were hard and confident but Nile Dok looked unmoved. "Talk to the higher-ups about that, will you? I've had enough," he growled. "I will have to take you with me, Erwin. Comply or we will use force."

The commander of the Survey Corps was calm. "I have no intentions on resisting. I shall follow you."

"Good." Commander Dok seemed to be wanting to say something else, but then refrained and turned to each of his subordinates. "Cayla, move out. Ivan, stay and assess the situation."

"Yes, commander!" they called in unison and saluted.

Levi and Erwin exchanged quick glances; Levi nodded ever so slightly and waited until the commander was led through the angry mix of soldiers, towards the edges of the plaza, before he took a step away from me. I took it as a sign that we no longer actively were trying to avoid prying eyes and sighed in relief—I was completely fatigued. It slammed into me like a fist and stripped away what little strength I had established through adrenaline, making my body wobble unsteadily. My eyes tracked my surrounding for somewhere to perch upon, but I soon concluded that the simple ground would have to suffice.

"Get up."

I folded my legs and buried my forehead into the uncomfortable valley between my knees, curling myself into a defensive ball. I didn't want him to see my face; he would surely mock me for my weakness. "I'm too tired," I muttered truthfully into the fabric of my dress.

"Tsk. You're getting all dirty."

"Do I look like I'm in any condition to care?" I snapped.

There was a loud exhale before slender fingers snaked around mine, but instead of grabbing me and pulling me up to standing as I thought he would do, Levi's grip remained loose. His fingertips tentatively traced the now solidified blood on my palms and I flinched as he was too harsh over a particularly deep wound.

"Let go," I murmured and stubbornly raised my chin. I was too weak to pull away on my own and instead hoped to intimidate him to leave.

A vain attempt. Levi merely arched his black eyebrows and his hands remained coiled around mine, gently now, only a feathery touch—clearly oblivious to my words. I fleetingly noted that we were the same temperature for once before he crouched down in front of me and turned my palms upwards. His handsome, well-defined face distracted me, but not more than the fact that he had held my hands for the third time that day.

"How do you feel?" Levi demanded as he scrutinized my hands.

I frowned at his unfriendly tone. "Just fine. Now let go of me."

His silvery eyes pierced through mine, relentlessly and analytically. It was evident he didn't believe me. "Don't tell me you fell," he scoffed.

I rolled my eyes. "I didn't." I begun retracting my arms but he held on firmly. "Please, just let me sit here," I pleaded, my voice breaking towards the end. To my embarrassment, I realized that I was on the verge of crying. "I need a minute to breathe out."

"You're in the way of everyone."

I examined my surroundings. Hange had assumed the role as leader and was directing the members of the Survey Corps to different tasks, the preacher yet by her side. The soldiers listened intently and then split up, some starting with the preparations to tow away the large crystal with some horses while others headed towards the wall. The Military Police were listening to orders from the brown-haired man named Ivan and most of them dispersed, spreading out over the rest of the city to find survivors. I admittedly resigned and got back onto my feet, Levi mimicking my movement and dropping my hands as he straightened. I caught something familiar on the other side of the plaza, a flash of golden hair dragging away someone with droopy, emerald eyes, but when I started towards the two recruits, Levi caught my wrist.

"Where do you think you're going?" he wondered as his gaze followed mine. His face twisted into a characteristic scowl. "You need to get yourself cleaned up." My arm was raised in a disapproving manner. "Your forearm is bleeding."

I yanked it away from him. "Stop telling me what I can and cannot do," I snarled.

The soldiers closest to us stared incredulously at me but I was too spent to care. Levi's deadpanned face was what I focused on as I went on.

"I'm fine, so stop bothering." My voice increased in volume. "I know you think I'm torture to be around but believe me when I say it's just as horrid for me to be with you. So why won't you just do us both a favor and stay away from me? I'm not a child, I can take care of myself!"

I stalked away from him, fuming. He didn't follow and neither did I want him to; his presence practically drove me insane. I could only hope he would stay away permanently but reason told me that he would torment me for as long as I remained in the Survey Corps.

Which actually might not be for much longer.

"Eren!" I called over the commotion. "Armin!"

Armin raised his gaze in surprise; Eren sluggishly attempted to peel open his eyes. The latter was being hauled on his back and over the ground by his much smaller friend, and I hurried to get to them, concern weighing down my chest at seeing Eren's weak, almost limp shape. I constantly excused myself through the throng of soldiers and reached the recruits at the same time as Mikasa arrived with her Maneuvering Gear. As I saw her gracefully land just a couple of yards away from her friends, I couldn't stop myself from clumsily blurting, "You are amazing."

The muscles around her mouth and jaw that had been tightened in worry until then abruptly slackened and her dark eyes were rounding as they settled on me instead of Eren. I felt my cheeks redden while I tried to find a way to explain myself without sounding out of my mind.

"I-I…"

I seriously contemplated slapping myself in the face but decided that all it would achieve was to make me look even more like a total fool. I cleared my throat and tried to amend the suddenly awkward situation.

"I didn't mean to say that out loud," I continued nervously. I would have rubbed my hands together if I could. "Sorry."

Mikasa didn't reply but quickly turned to Eren. I thought I could catch a blush on her cheeks but it disappeared by the time I crouched next to her and the other two recruits. My legs complained and I grimaced as I landed on my rear instead.

"Eren?" Mikasa said softly. "Are you alright? Eren?"

The brown-haired boy failed to open his eyes but I could see that he struggled beneath his eyelids. Armin sank down to the ground as well—Eren's torso falling heavily back onto his fragile chest—and wiped the sweat from beneath his fringe with a sleeve.

"He's… been out of it ever since… we got him out of his titan," he told her, slightly winded. "I don't think he's hurt… only tired."

His blue eyes then turned to me and he furrowed his brows. "Sera…" he began hesitantly. "I… I didn't think you would also be here."

"Neither did I," I responded a bit too harshly, "but here I am. Though I didn't know why until the carriage stopped and I found myself in… Stohess, it is?"

"Yes." Armin's lips moved a while longer but then stopped. His frown deepened and he asked, "Sera?"

It asked him to repeat himself; it just struck me that Hange had mentioned something about going to Stohess in the middle of the night.

So this was what she had planned for, I mused. "A friendly visit". Right. If demolishing one of the four districts of Wall Sina is what you call a friendly visit, I definitely don't want to know what you would do if you were actually trying to harm someone.

"Sera, did you hear me?"

Before I could reply, Hange approached our tiny gathering with the fourth recruit I recognized from the castle at Trost. I hadn't forgotten that I owed him an apology; he still refused to look at me.

"You better get out of the city," Hange said earnestly. "Things will get pretty rough here and Eren barely looks conscious." She pointed north. "Take the alley down there and follow it all the way to the gate. Someone will be waiting for you with a wagon."

Armin nodded and looked at me. "Sera, do you think you can carry my sheathes?" He raised his gaze. "And Jean, could you take Mikasa's?"

"Of course," replied the recruit eagerly. I, on the other hand, could not say the same.

It took me quite the willpower to be able to rise again and I almost lost my balance as I stood erect. Mikasa also rose and locked her remaining blades into their seats before detaching the large metal boxes from the core device.

"Here," she casually said as she presented the sheathes to the taller recruit.

He took them with fervor and tucked them beneath his slim arm with ease, making me feel a bit more secure. It took Armin a bit longer to remove the boxes and when he was done, he carefully got to his feet and lifted up Eren with Mikasa's help, taking their friend's heavy arms over each of their shoulders. They had already gotten to the beginning of the street by the time I managed to stack up and balance the two sheathes on top of my arms, but the recruit with the light ash-brown hair had remained by my side. As we slowly began walking, my fingertips gripping tightly around the edge of the bottom box, I thanked him for his patience.

"It's nothing."

I swallowed hard. "I'm Sera," I said in an effort to start a conversation.

"I know," came the blunt reply.

I blushed and took a deep breath. The smell of steel and dirt filled my nose and I wrinkled it. "I… I just wanted to say that I'm so sorry for earlier," I said. "I… I had to prove myself."

"By punching the living hell out of me."

I cringed. "I'm so sorry," I said quietly.

"You shouldn't be."

I stared up at him. He shrugged.

"So you aren't mad at me?" I asked bemusedly. "Then why have you been avoiding me?"

"Well, at first I was really pissed," he admitted and glanced ever so briefly at me. His brown eyes were almost the same color as his light ash-brown hair and although they gave him a very haughty expression, it was evident that he was being sincere for the moment. "And I sure as hell wanted you to feel the same… until you got your ass kicked by the corporal." He gingerly rubbed his neck with his right hand. "Had kind of a bad conscience for wishing that."

I would have gotten annoyed if it weren't for the fact that I recognized his dialect. There was something utterly familiar in the way he emphasized the vowels in his curses and how his tone lowered towards the end of his sentences. It wasn't really that obvious; I was only able to discern it due to years of being tormented by a similar voice.

I frowned. "You're from Trost, aren't you?"

This time, the recruit's eyes remained locked with mine, large and surprised. "How did you know?"

"You…" I set my gaze forward. "You talk a bit like my brother."

He was quiet for a while. Even though Mikasa and Armin were carrying Eren, they were moving faster than us. I knew it couldn't be due to my companion—not with his horse-legs—and then it fell on my fault that we were getting so far behind them. But I was glad we were out of earshot; I had wanted to speak to him alone. I just hadn't thought it would make me cry.

"Sebastian was a good guy."

I closed my eyes and slowed my pace even more. I could feel my tears burn behind my eyelids.

"Shit!" he suddenly exclaimed, panicking at my reaction. "I really didn't mean to…"

I shook my head and tried to get my emotions in control. "I-I'm fine." My throat was constricted with pain and I swallowed, hard. "Seems everyone knew him," I then stated as dryly as I could, reopening my eyes.

"Well." He scratched the back of his head. "He was that kind of person."

I hurried my steps; the other recruits were far ahead of us. "Yeah. He was."

"Uhm…" My companion hesitated. I could feel him examining my face before continuing. "Thanks for apologizing, by the way. It wasn't necessary but I appreciate it."

I nodded.

"I'm sorry for your loss."

His voice was soft and caring. Why are all the recruits so nice? I wondered. Has there been a change in the military? Because I don't remember passing through something like that.

"I am too," I murmured in reply before clearing my throat and regaining a semi-normal tone. "But we don't have time to ponder in the past, at least not for now. Let's pick up the pace before we get too far behind."

"Oh, right." He paused as our steps quickened. "I'm Jean."

My lips automatically curved into a weak smile. "I know," I repeated.

"Thank you."

My eyes widened and I flushed. "E-excuse me," I stuttered, dumbfounded. "But for what?"

Mikasa dipped her head into her scarf, hiding her mouth and the tip of her nose. Her dark eyes were locked onto my hands; she carefully cleaned them and occasionally dipped her soft towel into the bowl of tepid water next to her, staining the clean surface with my blood. The smell of iron and wet hair clung heavily to the air.

"Thank you for what you said earlier," she said, her voice muffled by the fabric.

I remembered and blushed even more. "Oh. No problem."

There was a considerate pause as she picked out a tiny stone from my flesh and dropped it into the bowl. I opened my mouth to break the silence when she enigmatically interjected, "You know, it's odd."

"What is?" I wondered and furrowed my brows.

Mikasa hung the cloth over her shoulder and reached for a fat bandage roll behind her. "The way you look at the lance corporal," she answered neutrally.

I almost rubbed my hands together but she caught my wrist before I could move, giving me a steady gaze. I gave up with a sigh and she started wrapping the white fabric around my palm.

"How so?" I parried, hoping to steer away the subject from me. "What do you think of him?"

I grimaced as her grip around me tightened. "He's not a bad person," she stated in the same flat tone, but then her voice hardened and froze as she went on. "But one day, I'll make him pay for what he did to Eren."

"What happened?" I anxiously asked, shuddering as I recalled a none too pleasant memory involving a man who hadn't know when to back down. The stranger had been way too drunk even for fun and probably been rejected by all other women in the whole bar before he strolled over to me and Miriam. He was desperate to get something out of his fruitless evening… and Levi had made it unforgettable. "And why?"

"It was necessary," Mikasa reluctantly admitted as she finished up my left hand and began probing the other with the damp towel. I bit down a groan as the material pulled at the edges of my wounds. "The lance corporal needed to steer up the situation somehow but he definitely went too far. Eren threw up blood for days."

"What?!" I exclaimed, my eyes widening

Mikasa bandaged my right hand. "He won't get away with it," she murmured, more to herself than to me. "He will pay."

We were quiet after that. The girl inspected my arms but the shower had managed to remove all the blood and dirt; my hands had taken most of the fall. Mikasa quickly treated my elbows before she gathered what she had brought with her and moved towards the door.

"I better find Eren," she said, as if she had read my mind.

I wanted nothing more than to follow but knew better than to push my body any further today. I wouldn't have been able to take care of my injuries or get any food without Mikasa's assistance, much less maneuver through the unknown castle without her helpful shoulder to lean on—she didn't need to exhaust herself anymore with me.

I wound the large towel tighter around my head and rolled down the sleeves of my borrowed shirt. "When will you be back?" I wondered halfheartedly—I was skeptical to seeing her return— and glanced meaningfully at the second bed in the room.

"I'll stay with him."

Thought so. "Okay," I grunted, stifling a yawn. "Thanks for the help."

Mikasa gave me a nod before she hurried out of the room, closing the door behind her. Immediately, I exhaled and allowed myself to fall back onto the comfortable bed. I turned so that I aligned myself with the wall and carefully stretched out, my hands and toes gently pressing against the wooden bed frame. One glance to the stone floor revealed a soft, deep orange glow coming from the closed window.

I closed my eyes but the mercy of sleep was still far from reach. I was tired beyond belief but my brain refused to calm down. The day's horrendous events had marked me surely for life and dragged me into the reality of my situation: I was weak. A simple civilian in anybody's eyes. I was good for nothing else but being Levi's fake girlfriend, which, for the matter, only had been to sneak me into the city to see if I had Sebastian's ability. And I hadn't felt anything out of the ordinary.

Fear clawed at my lungs and I found it hard to breathe. I tore off my towel with a frustrated groan. "I couldn't even make the stupid Maneuvering Gear work," I almost sobbed as I placed my hands over my face, ignoring the fact that I was speaking to myself. "I'm nothing… I'm useless… Levi was right."

As soon as I had said his name, I regretted it. I couldn't stop myself from thinking about him—or the past.

Levi Ackerman.

His name brought the familiar state of not knowing whether to sigh in longing or annoyance. Every harsh word, criticizing glare and venomous touch was more than enough to upset the delicate beam scale I had used to perfectly balance my emotions during my whole life. I had always been able to remain cool no matter what, would it be the night I woke up to the sound of the family dog being butchered, the late evening Sebastian told me about the fire that had robbed us of our home, our father's life and our mother's sanity or the countless of days I spent in Karanese's many bars getting so drunk Miriam had to watch me throw up in the backyard. I had never really felt involved in anything. I had been able to… shut off my emotions and look down at myself from another realm, somewhere so distant that I couldn't be reached by worldly pains. It was cowardly, yes, but I would have gone mad if else.

This ability to observe myself from an outer perspective—a stranger's—made me obnoxiously arrogant and horribly naive and sure of myself. The fights I got into was just a violent play with excellent actors and stunning effects; the brave heroine always overcame the bad guys. The men I met were brief, inadequate and eventually boring; the woman was always in the right and whenever it went wrong, it was because her suitors treated her unjustly. My aunt abhorred my destructive lifestyle, especially since Miriam got caught into it, and she and I were constantly at each others' throats. My life was dwindling down into a pathetic, repetitive form of existence. I was a plague, a horror upon all those unfortunate enough to meet me, and Sebastian's constant absence wasn't too much of a help.

But the day I met Levi, everything changed.

At first glance, I didn't even think twice about him. Sebastian had surprised me in some bar I no longer remember the name of, accompanied by the glum figure, and quickly introduced us to one and another. He was certainly handsome, but shorter than what I usually preferred and with an atrocious personality. We knocked heads already from start, with me being as arrogant as I was and Levi being… well, Levi, and I disliked the rare occasions he accompanied us to the city. But when I finally decided to make normal conversation with him, even cracking a joke or two, I found out that we had more things in common than I had initially thought. Miriam and Sebastian blamed us for being the most pessimistic people alive, but we were simply being straightforward with each other and that lead to a very unexpected friendship. He wasn't the easiest person to be around and we could often get into heated fights due to our equal stubbornness, but he made me feel alive for the first time since my parents had passed. Levi Ackerman was a cruel challenge to endure but somehow he intrigued me, like a difficult riddle or a puzzle with thousands of pieces, and I just had to know who he was beneath all those layers of indifference.

This search brought me down to the ground, back into myself, and when we shared a drunken—well, I was drunk; Levi never drank alcohol—kiss a couple of months after we had first met, I realized that I was feeling something real for him. And Levi had replied similarly. He would rarely show any signs of affection in public but I didn't mind; it simply made it so much sweeter whenever we were alone, holding hands as he escorted me home or trading improper touches in a dark alleyway. He took me out of my depression and I desperately wished that I was helping him just as much—but I had obviously not sufficed for whatever darkness he harbored within himself.

I hadn't been able to find out who he was and would probably never be able to. Levi was lost to me forever.

My blurry sight roused me from my reverie, eyes welling with frustrated tears. That's when I noticed someone had been knocking on the door for an unknown amount of time.

"Who is it?" I asked with a sniffle. Horrified, I reached for the towel on the floor and wiped my cheeks. "Mikasa went to Eren," I added, thinking that he or she might be looking for her.

"It's me, stupid," came the muffled reply.

I swallowed and stared at the door.

"You died or something?"

I frowned and cleared my throat as discreetly as I could. "Get lost," I then snarled.

The door unexpectedly opened and I was frozen in terror as Levi stepped in. "If you want to keep people out, you oughta at least lock yourself up…" His voice trailed away as his silver gray eyes scrutinized me from head to toe, briefly pausing at my hands and hair, and he arched a brow as he finalized his analysis of my hot face. "Have you been crying?"

I furrowed my brows. "No," I adamantly lied and lowered the towel.

"Then what's up with that look of yours? Are you constipated?"

Exasperation slowly replaced my sentimental sorrow and I was able to roll my eyes. "Maybe, just maybe, this time I am," I said with as much sarcasm as I could muster.

Levi closed the door and turned to me with his arms folded over his chest. "That's your business," he coolly replied. "But I thought you might want to hear about your position at the Survey Corps."

I stiffened again. "Tell me."

He snorted. "Although I had planned for you to take off to Karanese already tonight, it seems you won't be leaving any yet." His jaws clenched together before relaxing. "Shitty-glasses has this theory that Sebastian's gift—" he said the word with disgust, "—was unable to track titan-shifters. That should explain why you felt nothing in Stohess."

"It makes sense," I acknowledged, still not understanding the source of his tense posture. "And what's the problem with that?"

Levi's eyes narrowed slightly at my accurate observation. "She convinced Erwin that you need to be 'tested'," he muttered with a scowl. "I decided against his choice, but he wouldn't listen. He wants you on the next expedition."

My jaw dropped. He continued with gritting teeth.

"Even though you can't even use the Maneuvering Gear, he's willing to risk it. And guess who's supposed to train you," Levi went on and raked a hand through his black hair as he exhaled loudly. "Fuck me."

I gathered myself, knowing I was blushing at his words. "So," I began nervously. "Does that mean I'm still in the Survey Corps?"

He glared at me, stretching out the moment for almost a minute before he nodded once. A wave of relief flowed over me and I had to look down at my hands to hide the smile on my lips. I was too excited to care about the fear that rose like bile in my throat—this was what I had been waiting for even before Erwin Smith had shown up on my aunt's porch to grant me a second chance.

"Oi."

Calloused fingers roughly brought my chin high. Cold, silvery eyes dug into mine and his hot breath rolled off my cheeks like a threat he had yet to even make. I was too busy straddling my fluttering heart to move away from him, already being fragile from my recollection, and simply met his gaze.

"This isn't some kind of game," Levi sneered, his handsome face inching closer. "It's fucking dangerous out there. You could die."

The atmosphere suddenly sparked with something else but hostility. I could feel the blood rushing to my head as my brain desperately worked through its exerted resources trying to find out why Levi's face was so near mine.

"I…" I attempted. "I… know."

"Then you should go home."

His voice was oddly velvety, gentle even, and very convincing. I almost found myself agreeing but caught the words on my tongue; I refused to return to Karanese. Not when I had the chance to finally do what I had always wanted.

"No," I replied as harshly as I could, which was quite an accomplishment since I was all but trembling beneath his touch. "I must try, at least. I won't be going home anytime soon, Levi."

Levi was silent for a while, our eyes locked in an eternal struggle of wills, but then whispered something so quiet I wasn't even sure he had spoken in the first place. It took my overloaded mind too much time to piece together his words and Levi let out an impatient snort before he rose and let go of my cheek; I hadn't even noticed that his hand had moved. He said nothing when he stormed out of the room as fast as his left leg allowed him, but the way he slammed the door after his departure gave me enough information—he had been sincere.

I numbly reclined into the mattress and looked up into the ceiling. Finally done with the sentence, my brain happily tormented me with the phrase. I was happy that Levi had left because I wouldn't have been able to answer.

What possible reply could I have given: "Not even for me?"