Hey guys, this is kind of a longer chapter than all of the other ones but I really like it and I hope you do too! Part of me was thinking of ending the story after this chapter but you let me know if you want more. If I do write more it probably won't be to much more but anyway, just read and let me know what you think I should do. Okay, thanks! Enjoy!
That Monday Lorelai was sitting at the kitchen table sipping her coffee as Luke finished cleaning up after breakfast. He was talking happily about their visit with April and how Anna had even agreed to start discussing options if she were to move to New Mexico. She smiled at him as he filled up her coffee mug before sitting down beside her with his tea.
"I think things are really good right now, ya know? I mean April really likes you and she can't stop raving about Rory and how she wants to visit her at Yale. Its funny how both of our kids ended up being so smart don't you think?" He said smiling.
To hear the excitement in her voice made her heart skip a beat. She was so incredibly happy for him and was relieved that he was finally sharing this part of his life with her. Knowing how happy he was she hated to bring up what she had been thinking about for the past few days. She didn't want to do anything to change how good things had been going for them.
"Yeah I guess it is pretty funny." She took another sip of her coffee, "She really is amazing Luke. I'm so happy that things are going well with her and that Anna is willing to negotiate. I know how important this is to you."
"I just don't want to lose her again. I missed out on so much with her in the first 12 years of her life. I want to make up for that as much as I can." He said softly.
She reached across the table and took his hand, squeezing it gently. "I know babe. I know."
"You know April seems really happy that we are back together." Luke said with a small smile. "She could see how unhappy I was when we were apart, she told me she was glad I finally pulled my head out of my ass and realized what I wanted. Not to pleased about the language she used but I get what she meant."
Lorelai chuckled, "Yeah she's definitely your kid. Very blunt and straight to the point."
He smiled, "I guess she does get that from me."
Lorelai leaned forward and caressed his cheek, "I like that you can talk to me about her now. I like that I know her. Thank you for letting me in Luke, it means more than you could possibly know."
He leaned into her touch and smiled, "I never wanted to keep you out of it all Lorelai. I was just really confused…you don't know how many times I wanted to go to you for advice. I guess I was just scared…"
"Of what?" She asked curiously bringing her hand back down to his on the table.
"I didn't want you to think I couldn't handle being a father. I wanted to prove to you that I could do it on my own ya know? I didn't want you to be afraid to have kids with me…" He whispered.
"Oh hon…" She said squeezing his hand, "I could never think that. You were so good with Rory for so many years. I knew you would always be an amazing Dad. That is one thing I have never worried about. I wish you could have told me how you were feeling…"
"I do too." He said with a sigh as he squeezed his hand, "But…we're here now? No more dwelling on the past. We agreed we need to look forward to our future."
She smiled at him, "Right. And we need to be honest with each other from here on out. About everything that we are thinking and feeling…"
"I agree." He said nodding his head adamantly.
"Which is why I'm going to tell you this now and I need you to hear me out before you freak out." She said quickly starting to feel nervous again.
He let out a puff of air, "Well this can't be good…"
She watched him shift in his seat and she tried to hold his hand even tighter, "Just…I need you to really listen and try and understand where I am coming from."
"Can you just tell me what it is? The suspense is kind of making it worse here and my brain is starting to jump to about a million different conclusions. None of which are good. But let me just say this…if you are trying to break up with me-" He started feeling the sweat begin to build on his forehead.
Lorelai jumped and tried to scoot her chair closer to him, "Oh no. No Luke that's not what this is about at all!"
He searched her eyes hopefully and nodded slowly, "Okay…"
"I just…I've been thinking a lot about the case…" She whispered as she licked her suddenly dry lips.
He raised an eyebrow, "Please don't tell me you are considering dropping the charges against that bastard!"
She shook her head and squeezed his hand again, "No. That's not it either. Please…please just let me say what I need to say and then you can tell me how you feel okay?"
He heard the plea in her voice and he sighed, he adjusted his cap with his free hand and nodded slowly. "Fine. Go ahead."
She tried to smile before she continued, "Okay. Thank you." Clearing her throat she rubbed his hand between hers, "I just…I have a lot of questions that I think only Christopher will be able to answer."
He started to understand what he was going to say, "No way Lorelai-"
"Let me finish." She said a more firmly, "You promised you'd let me talk first."
He grumbled and shifted in his seat again, he pulled his hand away from her and crossed his arms over his chest. "Continue…"
"I know you don't really want me anywhere near him and I don't really want to see him but I think I need to see him. I need to ask him how he could do this. I know he was angry and he had a right to be but I just…I never in a million years thought he could be capable of something like this. I know that you are insecure about my relationship with him-" She watched him grimace at her words but she pushed on before he could interrupt again, "But Luke I have known him for almost all of my life. He's always been there…he's Rory's father for God sake…"
"He's an asshole who doesn't deserve your time." He said through gritted teeth as his feet began to tap on the floor.
"Luke…" She whispered softly, "I know it sounds crazy but I really feel like the only way I'm going to get any closure is if I talk to him. I mean if the first time I see him is in the courtroom then I'm afraid I'll just fall apart. And I just need to see him face to face, I need to understand how we got to this point."
"Lorelai I just…I don't trust him." He said sighing as he leaned forward against the table, "I don't want you anywhere near him."
"I know that. I do. And I respect your feelings but I just I really think I need to do this. I know that he was angry about the letter and I know he had reason to worry about you and me but I need to understand how he could have done this. I have known Christopher for so long but I never thought he could do this…" She whispered. "I need to understand it if I'm ever going to be able to move on."
Luke let her words sink in for a moment before he ran a hand over his tired face, "I understand that you need closure…but I'm not sure this is the way to get it."
"Luke he's already in custody, he'll probably be in handcuffs when I see him and my Dad will be with me the whole time. He won't be able to touch me." She said trying to sound comforting.
"You already talked to your Dad about this?" He asked quickly trying to make sense of everything she was saying.
Lorelai nodded, "When he was over yesterday we discussed it while you said goodbye to April. He thinks it's a good idea and he said he would stay with me the whole time."
Luke looked at her softly, "I can go with you."
She shook her head, "No. We both know that won't end well Luke…you can't do anything to jeopardize your relationship with April. We've talked about this. And even though things are really good right now with April and Anna…it doesn't mean they can't change. I don't think Anna would be to pleased if you were arrested for assault."
He sighed feeling frustrated, "I don't want you alone with him."
"But I won't be." Lorelai whispered before she leaned into him again. "Luke, my Dad will be there and the guards. I just…I really need to do this. I think it will help us too because I'll be able to put everything behind me. Not just what Chris did but the fact that I went to him in the first place…do you understand?"
Luke took her hands in his and lifted them to his lips, "I hate that guy. I fucking hate him. I didn't think I could hate him more than I did when we first started dating but clearly I was wrong."
She smiled at him, "I know you hate him Luke. I know you do. But I just…I need to do this. I need answers…I need to just let it all go. I can't keep anything in anymore. I did that before with us and it cost us everything. I think I need to just be open about everything."
Lifting his head, he stared at her face and his eyes roamed over the bruise that was finally beginning to fade on her face. "I want you to be happy."
"Well I think in order for me to really be happy I need to be able to move on from all this. And this is the only real way I can think of to do that…" She whispered.
"And nothing I say is going to stop you from doing this, right?" He asked softly.
"You know I value your opinion but with this I think I need to do what I believe is best for me. But to be honest I think it's the best thing for us Luke. This might help me just let it all go and I'll finally be ready to just move on. Don't you want that?" She asked.
"Of course I do. I just wish there was another way for you do to able to get through this." He whispered sadly.
"I know." She leaned in and rested her head against his shoulder, "But I think this is the best thing for me to do. So…can you please respect my decision?"
Luke sighed and leaned against the top of her head, breathing in her scent he nodded slowly. "Your Dad will be there the whole time? And the guards too?"
"Yes." She whispered against his shoulder. "The whole time."
"And you'll call me as soon as you get out of there and come see me after?" He said pulling away from her to look in her eyes pleadingly.
She smiled and leaned up to caress his face, "Of course. You're going to be the first person I want to see."
"It's not that I don't trust you. You know that right?" He asked staring deep into her clear blue eyes.
She smiled sadly, "I wouldn't blame you if you didn't."
He leaned forward and kissed her gently, "We're moving on remember? No more thinking about the past."
She nodded slowly, "Right."
He held her face in his hands and pressed his lips against her forehead, "I love you so damn much Lorelai. So much it hurts sometimes. And I just hate thinking about what he did to you."
She held onto him tightly, "Nothing will happen to me. I promise. I'll be careful."
He kissed her forehead once more and then pulled away, pushing her hair out of her face. "Okay…"
She smiled up at him, "Okay?"
He sighed sadly, "Okay…"
She leaned forward and kissed her gently, "Thank you."
He nodded slowly, "When are you going?"
"My Dad is going to be here any minute…" She whispered shyly.
He chuckled and pulled away, "So no matter what I said you were going to go right?"
She smiled up at him, "You know me so well."
He groaned and stood up quickly, adjusting his cap as he went. "You are a piece of work, you know that?"
"And yet you love me…" She said beaming up at him as she stood up to face him.
He rolled his eyes; "God help me…"
She smiled and reached for his hand, "So you're really okay with this?"
He shrugged, "Okay as I can be. If this is what you think you need to do then I won't stop you. But I need to go to the Diner or something while you are there. If I sit here and wait I'm going to go crazy. If I'm busy I won't have as much time to think about it."
She nodded. "Okay. I promise I will call as soon as we are done. And then I will have my Dad drop me straight off at the Diner."
Luke stood holding her hand tightly as he watched her closely. He absolutely hated this idea, to be honest he hated leaving her side even for a minute since all of this happened. Part of it was because he was afraid something else bad would happen to her but it was also because he was afraid this wasn't all real.
He was so afraid that he was going to wake up and realize they were still apart and she was still with Christopher. He didn't ever want to let her go again, especially not if it meant she was going to Christopher. Taking a deep breath, he pulled her by her hand up against his body and held her close.
"Please be careful." He whispered into her long dark hair. "Please."
She wrapped her arms around his waist and smiled against his neck, "I will be. I promise."
He nodded slowly, still not letting her go. "I'm just so afraid to lose you again."
She shook her head from side to side, bumping against his chin as she did. "You won't. I can't be without you Luke Danes. I know that now."
He breathed a sigh of relief as he held her, he would have been happy to hold her like that forever but they were interrupted by a knock on the door. Reluctantly, Luke let her go and she smiled knowingly at him before walking out towards the front door. She took a deep breath before opening it to see her Dad standing on the porch expectantly.
"Hello Lorelai. How are you doing?" He asked softly as she stepped aside to let him in.
"I'm okay Dad. How are you? Did you talk to Mom about this?" She asked curiously as she shut the door behind him.
He smiled slightly, "Yes, she is not to happy about it but eventually she realized there was no talking you out of it. Like most things that is…" He said with a chuckle.
She smiled at him, "Well Luke isn't too happy about either."
"No he isn't." Luke said walking into the foyer to meet with them, "But like you said, there is no talking her out of most things."
Richard smiled at the man before him, "I can understand your hesitations about this Luke. But I actually agree with Lorelai about this, I think this will help her to be able to move on from everything. She will get closure from this."
"Maybe. But she's also going to give me a heart attack from waiting in the process." He said with a grumble as he grabbed his keys off the table beside the door.
Richard chuckled, "I can assure you she will be with me the whole time. I will not let anything happen to her. Christopher will not have any chance of hurting her again, I will make sure of that."
Luke took a deep breath, "Okay…"
"My daughters safety is the most important thing to me Luke. I would never do anything I thought was too dangerous. Christopher will be in handcuffs the whole time we are there." Richard said still trying to reassure him.
"Would it be to much to ask for the electric chair for punishment?" He said through gritted teeth.
"Luke!" Lorelai said both a shocked and semi-amused look on her face.
Luke could hear Richard chuckle, "He's a scumbag."
"I know…" She said with a soft smile, "But isn't that a little excessive?"
"I guess…" He said stubbornly before sighing again, "Alright let me just get out of here so I can't try and talk you out of it anymore. I know it's useless. But you remember what you said, you were going to call right away and come by the Diner afterwards."
Lorelai nodded, "I promise."
He nodded his head once, "Okay then. I'm leaving…I'll see you later." He shook Richards hand and then walked over to Lorelai placing a gentle kiss on her cheek before he left.
Richard smiled as he watched him go. "He really does love you."
Lorelai smiled, "Yes, he does. And I am so incredibly grateful for that…"
"Come on then…they are expecting us at ten and its 9:30 now." Richard said placing a hand on her back, "The sooner we get this over with the sooner you can come back to ease that poor mans worried mind."
Lorelai grabbed her coat and took a deep breath as she looked around the house once more. She knew there were a million reasons why she shouldn't do this but she also knew it was important. She needed to face Christopher, she needed answers and she needed to tell him things too. One issue she had always faced in her life was trying to hide from her problems. It was the Gilmore way…and it had gotten her into trouble in the past especially when it came to losing Luke.
She knew that in order for her to have a fresh start with him she needed to break free from the past and this was the only way to do that. She walked with her Dad to the car and tried to ignore the loud beating of her heart making her want to have her Dad drive her to the Diner instead…
At 9:55 Lorelai and Richard were all signed in to the prison and were being led into a cold dark room. There was a table set up in the center of the room with four chairs, two on each side. Her hands started to shake and her feet seemed to forget how to move, but luckily Richard must have sensed her apprehension. He put a reassuring hand on her back and smiled gently at her.
With his guidance she walked to the table and sat down beside him. A short time later, the door on the opposite wall opened and she couldn't help but gasp when she saw Christopher walk in the room. She knew he wouldn't be walking in in his regular clothes but to see him in a orange jump suit and cuffs around his hand was a truly strange sight.
He stared directly at her as he walked in with his lawyer and guard that escorted him to his seat. Lorelai didn't realize her legs were trembling until she felt her fathers hand ontop of her knee to calm her.
As soon as Christopher sat down he began to talk, "Hey Lor…"
She waited a moment and then licked her lips. "H-Hi Christopher."
He looked over her face and his eyes seemed to stop on the fading bruise on her cheek. "I never, ever meant for any of this to happen Lor. God I am so so sorry. When I found that letter I just…" He sighed, "I don't even know what happened I just couldn't stop myself."
Lorelai lifted her hands up to the table and folded them, finding it easier to speak to him when she wasn't looking at him. "Chris I know that some of the things I did weren't right. They weren't fair to you…but I never thought you would do something like this."
"I just…I wanted you to see me for once Lor. You were so wrapped up in Luke you never saw me. Even on our wedding night I knew you were thinking about him and it killed me." He whispered.
Lorelai closed her eyes tightly, trying to hold the tears in. "You mean the wedding that wasn't even real?"
She heard him sigh before she opened her eyes again, "I swear I didn't know it wasn't legal. Not until a month after we got home…I went to go file some paperwork on the house to make it so it was in our name. And then I was told that because we didn't have legal documents from here it wasn't legal. I know I should have told you but I knew if I did you would run…I knew you didn't want to be with me in the first place Lorelai. Don't you know how much that hurt?"
"So you just thought I'd never figure it out? Do you think I'm that stupid?" She asked suddenly feeling very angry.
"No. Of course I don't think you are stupid. I just…I didn't know what to do. I knew you didn't really want to be with me but I thought if we could be together and be happy then eventually you would want to stay with me. I thought that if things were good and then you found out the truth you might still want to stay with me." He said trying to make her understand.
"But why would you want to be with someone you have to try and force to love you?" She asked.
He stared at her for a moment, "You loved me once…didn't you?"
She sighed sadly, "You know I did…"
"Then what happened?" Christopher asked, "Where did it all go wrong Lorelai? I would have married you when you found out you were pregnant. Why couldn't you have just agreed to marry me? We would have been happy."
She shook her head, "No we wouldn't have. We weren't ready to be married Christopher."
"We weren't ready to be parents either but we still became them." He said angrily.
She shook her head, "No…I became a parent. But you didn't."
He gritted his teeth at her, "Only because you shut me out!"
"You know that isn't true!" Lorelai said shocked by his words, "You were allowed to see Rory whenever you wanted too. You chose to stay away as much as you did. How many times did you say you were coming and then I had to make up some excuse as to why you didn't show up?"
"That's because seeing you was to damn hard!" Christopher said slamming his still hand-cuffed hands down on the table causing Lorelai to jump and Richard to put a protective hand across her arms on the table.
"Inmate." The guard warned, "You only have a few minutes left…don't make me take you back to your cell before its over."
"Calm down Christopher…" His lawyer warned him, "You need to calm down or you are going to make this worse."
Christopher took a deep breath before looking up at her again, "Look I know I made mistakes Lorelai. I know that you were ready before Sherry got pregnant but I thought that I owed it to her to try and make it work."
"I know that…and its fine Chris. That's all in the past." She said shaking her head, "I forgave you for those things a long time ago."
"Why did you come to me that night if you didn't want me?" Christopher asked referring to the night after Lorelai had given Luke the ultimatum.
Lorelai felt the lump beginning to grow in her throat, "Because I needed a friend." She paused and wiped at the tears that had begun to spill out of the corner of her eyes, "You have been my friend for so long Christopher…no matter how hard I have tried I can't seem to forget how good we were at being friends."
"We have always been more than friends." Christopher countered.
"But maybe all we should have been with friends. Whenever we tried to be anything more it all got to complicated." She answered, "Maybe that is selfish of me to say but maybe it's the truth. I went to you that night because I needed to talk to someone who knew me…really knew me. And aside from Luke and Rory that person is you."
"I do know you…" Christopher whispered.
She nodded and wiped at her tears again and sniffled, "And I thought I knew you…but clearly I didn't. I never thought you could do something like this…no matter how bad things might have been. I never saw you as that guy Chris…"
"I told you…I needed you to see me." He whispered, she could feel his eyes boring into her as she continued to stare at her hands on the table.
"I saw you…but I saw you as someone totally different than the man I knew." She whispered, "God Chris I was so afraid…I didn't know what you were going to do to me. I have never been that afraid…never."
The room went silent as Christopher absorbed her words, "I didn't mean for any of it to happen. I just…I snapped."
Lorelai looked up at him, "I never meant to sleep with you that night…I never meant to hurt you either. Do you know that?"
He stared at her for a moment, "I guess so…"
"I know I took you down with me…and for that I am so sorry. I know we wouldn't be here if I hadn't of made the choices I made but…" She sniffled again, "Chris you had to of known that I was in no condition to make clear decisions that night. I honestly don't even remember it…I remember standing in front of your door and the rest is a blur. How could you have let it get that far? You say you know me…you say that you care but if you really cared you wouldn't have let it go to that place…"
"Lor…" He whispered sadly.
"That night I went to comfort you after your Dad died...we were both drunk but I never let it get there. You said things…I knew maybe that's what you wanted. But I knew even if Luke wasn't in the picture that that wasn't the way to comfort someone I cared about. How could you let it happen? I know I played a part in it but you had to have known it was wrong…" She whispered.
He sighed, "I did know it was wrong. But I couldn't help myself Lorelai. I've wanted to be with you for so long…and after your parents wedding I realized that you really did love Luke. I took advantage of the situation because I thought it was my last chance."
She took a deep breath and looked up at him, "I was so vulnerable Chris. I was in no shape to be making those type of decisions."
"I know. I know that." He paused, "I know you are angry with me and you have every right to be. But…do we have to go through all this? I'm not going to hurt you again. What if we just go see someone? What if we try and work through this?"
"Chris…" Lorelai whispered shocked by his words, she wasn't expecting this.
"I know you say you love Luke but didn't he hurt you too?" He asked her.
Lorelai nodded, "Yes but Chris-"
"Okay so he isn't a saint either. No one is perfect. You and I are supposed to be together Lorelai. You me and Rory…that's the way it's supposed to be. We can fix this. I know we can." He whispered.
Lorelai opened her mouth to respond but suddenly Richard's voice came booming through the room. "You will never be with my daughter again. You will never come anywhere near her or my Granddaughter ever."
"Dad…" Lorelai said reaching for his arm, she squeezed it gently. "Calm down."
"Richard you know that I love your daughter. You wanted us to be together at one time. Don't you want you want your daughter to be with the father of her child?" He asked him.
Richard glared at him, "I want her to be with an honorable man and you Christopher Hayden are anything but honorable!"
"And you think that Luke is an honorable man?" He said with a snicker, "He owns a Diner Richard! How's that going to look among your golf club buddies? Is he going to cater one of Emily's DAR parties with burgers and fries?"
"He owns his own business. He built it from scratch. He works hard in his community to help other people. When he learned that he had a daughter he didn't flit in and out of her life like you would! He fought to make sure that she knew who he was and that he would take care of her. Yes he has made some mistakes along the way with my daughter but he has taken care of her for years! He took care of her for all those years when you should have been the one doing it!" Richard yelled.
"Dad…" Lorelai pleaded with him.
"Sir I'm going to have to ask you to keep your voice down." The guard said.
"So that's what you want for your daughter? You want her to spend the rest of her life in some white trash little town and spend her life with the Diner man?" Christopher chuckled, "Man your standards have slipped in your old age Richard. The Richard Gilmore I once knew wouldn't stand for this!"
"Well then clearly you never knew me as well as you thought you did. The thing I would never stand for would be any man laying a hand on my daughter!" He yelled, "Yes it is true that at one point in time I wanted the two of you to be together. I thought it was the right thing to do. But you Christopher have showed me that I was wrong for so long…there are more important things than what other people think of you. I would be happy to introduce Luke to any of my friends because I know that he loves and protects my daughter unlike you. I would be embarrassed to show you off to my friends because you are nothing but a coward who has never worked hard a day in his life."
There was silence in the room as everyone absorbed Richard's words. Christopher and Richard seemed to be having a staring contest and Lorelai could feel the tension in the room. Licking her lips, she reached over to touch her Dad's arm and felt how tense he was.
Worrying about his heart, she leaned in to him and tried to talk soothingly. "Dad…I think maybe you should step outside for a minute. Get some air."
He didn't take his eyes off of Christopher when he answered, "I am not leaving you here with him."
"Dad it's okay…we won't be alone. Please…just for a minute. I have a few last things I need to say and then I want to leave. It will be okay…and I don't want you doing anything to hurt yourself." She whispered to him.
Richard snapped out of his daze and looked down at her, "Lorelai I-"
"It's okay Dad…" She whispered as she smiled at him, "I will be okay. I promise."
Richard sighed and then looked back at Christopher, "No matter what you say to her, I will never let her go back to you again even if she wanted too. You don't deserve her or Rory."
He stood up quickly so he could leave before he could change his mind again. When the door finally closed, Lorelai looked back at Christopher.
He stared at her, waiting for her to speak, "Look Chris…I am sorry for the part I played in this. You would never be in here if it weren't for me. But…you knew what we were doing wasn't right. You knew that I wasn't strong enough to say no. And I just…I can't forgive you for this. I can't forgive you for hurting me this way. I won't be one of those women who just lets it slide. I won't."
"Come on Lor…you know I love you." He whispered trying to reach for her but his handcuffs stuck to the side of the table, the sound of metal against metal startled him and he looked down at his hands finally realizing the severity of the situation.
"No Chris…you don't love me. You love the idea of me…of what we could have been all those years ago with Rory. But if you really loved me…you never would have let what happened happen that night and you never would have felt like you needed to lie to me about our marriage." She took a deep breath trying to remain strong, "If you really loved me you never would have been able to hit me…"
Christopher let her words sink in, "Lorelai…"
"For the part I played in this I am sorry. I never wanted to see you this way…because despite it all I do care about you. I have known you practically my whole life Christopher…and you gave me my greatest gift in life." She smiled thinking of her daughter, "You gave me Rory…and for that we will always be connected. But no matter what happens…if you go to jail or not and even if you get out…I don't want to see you…not ever again. This is goodbye…it ends here."
He shook his head, "You don't mean that."
She smiled sadly, "Yes I do. I should have done this years ago Christopher because you are the reason I have never been able to have a lasting relationship. I always felt that I needed to stay close to you for Rory but she is a grown up now. She doesn't need you and neither do I."
"She's my daughter. You can't keep me away from her!" He yelled.
She shook her head, "She doesn't want to see you. If she does she can make that decision on her own but you stay away from us Christopher. This relationship of ours is toxic…I see that now. I think I've always known it but I was too afraid to admit it. But this is it…this is how it ends. Goodbye Christopher…I hope that you are able to find whatever it is you are looking for. Despite it all…I do want you to find happiness."
She stood up feeling at peace with everything that happened, she began to walk to the door but she stopped when she heard his voice. "So now you just go to him?"
She stopped near the door. "Maybe it seems wrong to you…and I'm sorry if it hurts you but yes. Now I go to him because he is the one I am supposed to be with."
"You'll be back…you always come back to me and you know it." He said with such desperation in his voice she knew he was trying to convince himself it wasn't over more than convince her.
She turned back to him and smiled sadly, "Not this time Christopher. Goodbye."
As she turned the door knob she was faintly aware of the fact that he was yelling after her. But it didn't matter…she had gotten what she had come for. She had found her closure. She said the things she needed to say and felt that she was finally read to close the door permanently on Christopher Hayden.
She saw her father pacing in the hall, it was clear he was still no happy about leaving her alone. Smiling, she walked over to him and placed a gentle hand on his strong shoulders making him stop in his tracks.
He spun on his heels and looked down at her anxiously, "Are you alright? I thought I heard more yelling."
She smiled up at him, "Everything is okay Dad. It's all going to be okay."
Richard stared down at his daughter with admiration, "How are you always so strong Lorelai? You always pick yourself up no matter how hard you fall…"
She shrugged, "It's the Gilmore way isn't it?"
He chuckled softly, "I suppose it is…"
She nodded her head once, "Dad…all those things you said back there…" She licked her lips nervously before continuing. "Just thank you…for all of it. And for sticking by me…for supporting me and protecting me. It means more than you could ever know…you may think I am strong but I wouldn't have been able to do this all without you and Mom."
He smiled sadly at her, "I know that your Mother and I have often questioned your decisions in life. We have always thought we knew what was best for you…but clearly we were wrong. You know what is right for you…and from now on I will respect that. I promise you that. All I have ever wanted was to see you happy Lorelai…" He paused as he felt the lump grow in his throat, "I love you."
She didn't even try to hide the tears in her eyes, standing on her tip toes she wrapped her arms around his strong shoulders and finally felt him relax. "I love you to Dad. So much."
They stood there together for what felt like an eternity letting the years of anger and pain wash over them. None of it seemed to matter anymore now that they were here together. All that mattered was that they finally understood one another…
Thirty minutes later, Lorelai said her goodbyes to her father and promised to be at dinner on Friday at 7 o'clock sharp. She thanked him again before giving him one last hug and exiting the car as she began to walk up to the Diner.
She could see Luke walking around filling up mugs with coffee, she knew most of those customers didn't want more. But she also knew that when Luke was worried or upset the only way for him to deal with things was to keep moving. If he stopped long enough she knew that he would finally break and he wasn't ready to do that.
When the bells above the door jingled, she watched as his eyes shot up hopefully and she watched his whole body relax when he saw her. He seemed frozen in his spot as she walked from the door to his spot in front of the counter. He didn't move until he felt her arms wrapped securely around his neck, slowly he wrapped both of his arms around her with the coffee put still in his left hand.
"You didn't call." He whispered to her, not caring that many of his customers were watching them. "I was getting so worried…I was about to hop in the truck and drive there myself to make sure you were okay."
She nuzzled his neck slowly, "I'm sorry…my Dad and I were talking. It was nice…we had a lot of things we needed to say and it just kind of slipped my mind. I'm sorry I made you worry. But I'm here now…"
He closed his tightly and breathed her in, "You're here now…"
She nodded against him and then pulled back just enough so that she could look him in the eye, "Think you can get away for a few minutes?"
He nodded, "Sure." He watched her step aside towards the back curtain and he placed the pot down on the counter. "I'll be back in a bit Lane."
Lane smiled knowingly at him, "Take your time Boss. We got it covered." She winked at Lorelai who smiled back.
She waited until she felt Luke's hand slip into hers before they walked through the curtain and up the stairs. The door was unlocked so Luke opened it quickly and took two steps into the room before pulling her up against him again.
"Please don't do that again…" He whispered holding her close, "I was going crazy."
She could feel his heart pounding in his chest, "Oh hon…"
"I always hate being away from you but especially now…especially after all the time we have spent apart. And knowing you were there with him…I was afraid he would get you to change your mind. I was afraid I was going to lose you again." He said in a chocked voice.
"Luke…" She said rubbing the soft hairs at the back of his neck, "I love you. I love you. It's over with him…it's been over for years I just…I never fully let him know that. I'm so sorry. I'm so, so sorry Luke. I hate that you ever had to doubt that it was you I wanted…that I needed."
Luke pulled away slowly and reached his hands up to cup her face, "God I love you. I love you so much Lorelai. I should have told you everyday when we were together. I've felt it for so long it never occurred to me that you wouldn't know. I don't know how not to love you…I never said the words and I should have. I should have…I'm so sorry for that. And I'm sorry for pushing you away…for pushing you to him."
She saw tears in his eyes, something she rarely ever saw. She had seen him cry really only one other time she could think of and that was after his dark day when he had come to find her. Very early in the morning he had come into her house and crawled into bed with her, at first she was startled but when she saw his tear filled eyes she had let the questions die on her lips. She only held him close and let him cry as much as he needed too and never said a word.
To see him like this broke her heart, but it also let her know that he truly did love her. She never thought she was the type of woman who would need her man to tell her he loved her everyday. But to never hear it…she had knew now that wasn't good. But staring into his eyes at this moment, she could feel all the love he felt for her and all the hurt from the time they had spent apart.
"It's over." She whispered, she saw his eyes turn wide with panic and she continued hoping to soothe his worries, "With Christopher I mean…I said what I needed to say. That part of my life…it's over. Completely over…I swear."
"But he's Rory's father…" He whispered sadly, he felt like they had this conversation many times before. "He'll never fully be gone."
She shook her head, "No it's different now Luke. I thought I needed to stay connected to him for Rory's sake but Rory is an adult now. She can make her own choices and if she decides she wants to talk to him then that is on her. It doesn't have to do anything with me. I always felt that I needed to be the buffer between them before but I know now I can't be. My relationship with him in any sense of the word was toxic…for both of us. We weren't good for each other, as friends or as anything more…it just doesn't work and it never will. I don't love him Luke. I loved what I thought we could have been when Rory was younger…I don't love him. I love you. He's gone…that's it. I said my goodbyes, he knows what I feel. He knows I want you and he knows I can't forgive him for this. This is it…if you say you want me and you want to give this a try I swear once the case is closed I never look back in. I'm in Luke. I'm all in."
Luke leaned forward and rained kisses across her forehead, cheeks, and nose and finally found her mouth. "I am all in Lorelai. All in." He sniffled slightly and started to walk away, "Just uh…just stay right there for a second."
She watched him pull away and walk through his apartment; she shivered at the loss of contact. "Wait. Where are you going?"
"Just wait…don't move. Stay there." He said as he walked towards the safe quickly and began putting in the code.
"Luke what are you doing?" She asked wanting to feel his arms wrapped around her.
He chuckled despite the tears still welling up in his eyes, "Patience crazy lady."
She huffed loudly and watched him intently as he took something out of the safe and closed it behind him. He walked towards her with purpose and stood in front of her, tall and strong and she felt her heart began to beat quickly in her chest. But it wasn't out of fear like when she had seen Christopher, it was because she felt so much emotion and love standing before this man.
"Luke…" She whispered softly, wanting to understand what he was doing.
"Maybe it's to quick…maybe you think I'm crazy but I just…" He sniffled again, "I can't…I can't wait anymore Lorelai. I can't…we've waited for so damn long. No more…no more waiting." He whispered as he held up a small black box to her.
She inhaled sharply. "Luke…" Her hand went to her mouth as she tried to keep from trembling, her knees suddenly felt very weak. "Oh my…"
"Since the day you came tearing into my Diner with Rory…I haven't been able to get you out of my mind. God knows I have tried…for years I tried to pretend I didn't love you. Even when we were together there were times when I tried to pretend I didn't love you as much as I did because it scared me. I've tried to be with other people…tried to stay busy so I'd forget you but I can't Lorelai. No matter what I can't forget you…" He whispered.
He looked up at her and saw the tears falling freely down her cheeks but she was smiling up at him. He opened the box and he heard her gasp again as she saw the ring that was lying inside.
"I don't want to forget you Lorelai. I just…I want to be with you. I want to be with you always…and I promise this time around I'll tell you I love you whenever you need me too. I will fight for us this time around…I'll talk to you about anything and everything. I won't let you walk away…I'll even let you eat pie and drink coffee in bed even though I think its gross." He said with a smile.
"Luke…" She said as she started to laugh through her tears.
"I'll let you call me really embarrassing names in front of Miss Patty, Babette and the rest of the crazy people that live in this town. I'll let you come by the counter and talk on your cell phone in the Diner. I'll let you drag me to as many town meetings and festivals as you want. And I'll even dress up on Halloween again if that's what it takes for us to be together. I don't care Lorelai…I don't care what I have to do as long as it means you are with me. I just…I can't live without you Lorelai and I don't want too. Not anymore…I need you." He said all this with such emotion Lorelai thought her heart was going to explode.
"Luke…" Her voice cracked as she spoke, "Just…just ask me…please just ask me."
He smiled and pulled the ring out of the box and held it out to her, "Will you marry me?"
She breathed a sigh of relief and nodded, holding her hand out to him. "Yes. Oh God yes. A million times yes!"
He smiled happily and slid the ring on to her finger and pulled her up against him, cradling her face in his hands he kissed her passionately. He felt her laughing and crying against him as he pulled away and brushed the hair out of her face.
"I just…I couldn't wait anymore…I'm sorry." He whispered as he wrapped his arms around her waist.
She shook her head and held the back of his head close, "Don't even try and apologize. I love you so much. I don't want to wait anymore either Luke…you're right. We've wasted so much time…I don't want to waste anymore."
He smiled and kissed her again, "You're sure?"
"Absolutely sure." She smiled and pulled her left hand away to look at it, "But…where did you get this ring? It's a different ring…" She whispered.
He smiled at her, "It was my Mothers…"
Her eyes went from the ring back up to his face, "Really?"
He smiled, "Liz had it…my Mom gave it to her years ago I guess. She was going to give it to me for you the first time but you jumped the gun and proposed before she could." He teased, "And then I bought the other ring so she kept it…"
"But then how do you have it now?" She asked feeling confused.
He rubbed circles against her hips as he continued to speak, "After she had Doula, I went to her house one night to stay with her while TJ visited some friends. She did a good job at not bringing you up for awhile…but finally she asked what happened. I ended up falling apart and I told her everything…and believe me she wasn't too happy with me when she realized my part in it."
"Oh Luke…" She whispered rubbing his arms encouragingly.
"She tried to tell me to go fight for you but I just…I knew you were with Christopher and I couldn't seem to find the courage to try. I told her it was over…no matter how hard she pushed it I told her it was just over. But when I went to say goodbye to the baby, she slipped the box in my coat pocket with a note." He said.
"What did the note say?" She asked curiously.
Luke smiled and walked back to the safe and took out the small piece of paper and held it out to her. She took it from him and unfolded it; she studied the words carefully and smiled when she read. 'Its not over. You two were written in the stars…stars never end and neither will your love.'
"She's a smart one that sister of yours…" She whispered as the tears began to fall again.
Luke nodded in agreement, "Yes she is. I have never given her enough credit…" He smiled and took the note back and put it in his pocket. "I never said anything to her about it…but I didn't have too. I just kept the ring and the note and every once and awhile when I would see you around town or think about you I'd take it out and think about what it would be like to be with you again."
"God I love you…" She whispered holding onto him tightly again.
"I didn't think if we did get back together that it would be like this…" He shook his head, "I never wanted this for you…but I just…I need you Lorelai. I need you so much it scares me sometimes. I need this…I need us."
"You have me." She whispered caressing his face gently. "You have me Luke…and you will always have me. I'm yours."
He rested his forehead against hers and smiled, "Do you think everyone will think we are crazy for going this fast?"
"Maybe…but I don't care. All I care about is you. But to be honest…they might actually relieved that we finally figured it out." She said with a smile, "I'm sure Sookie already has my cake all planned out and is just waiting for me to let her know she needs to start baking it."
He chuckled. "You're probably right."
She licked her lips again and then pulled her hand away to look at the ring, "I do want this Luke. More than anything…but I still think we should wait until after the case to actually get married. My Dad said it should be within a few weeks. I just...I want that out of the way before we start our life together. Is that okay?" She asked nervously, afraid to break the spell they seemed to be under.
He nodded, "I think that's best. We need to start our marriage on a happy note, not with something bad lingering ahead of us. I can wait…as long as I know that we are actually going to get married."
She smiled at him, "Oh you are not getting rid of me this time mister. You're stuck with me, coffee addiction, terrible movie watching, incessant talking…you're stuck with all of it!"
"Good." He whispered before pulling her up against him crushing her lips again this.
She giggled happily, "Do we get to celebrate now?"
He nodded as he began to push her backwards towards his bed, "Mhm…" He mumbled against her lips.
"But won't Lane and Ceaser miss you?" She teased as his lips began to travel down her neck.
"Don't really care. But I'm pretty sure Lane wasn't expecting me to come back today anyway." He carefully lay her down on his bed and held himself over her. "Besides…this is more important. You are more important. The most important thing…always."
She reached up to caress his face. "I love you Luke Danes." She leaned up to kiss him, "Love me…"
He smiled sweetly down at her and kissed her gently, "Always Lorelai. I will always love you."
As he lay her back on the bed, all their worries, all their fears and all the pain that they had felt in the last year melted away. There was still a long way to go but they knew they could make it through it all as long as they were at each others sides. Right where they belonged…
So what did you think? I hope you liked it because I really like this chapter. I think it was important for Lorelai to confront Christopher and say what was on her mind. She always said she was done with Chris but they had so much history. She needed to go and lay it all on the line and let him know it was over. I felt like she always thought she had to stay connected to him not only for Rory but because she felt like he needed her too. But he took advantage of the situation when she went to him in Boston after the ultimatum. He didn't love her the way she deserved and she needed to see that and finally close that chapter on her life.
ANYWAY...I hope you liked it and let me know if you think I should end it there or write more. Thanks so much for your support and reviews! :) Hope you are all having a great weekend!