Chapter 15: Broken

The rest of the week passed in an astonishing speed.

The tension between the military branches and the former denizens of Wall Rose rapidly developed into a disorganized turmoil as even the smallest of a child soon understood that the food stores were inadequate for all of the refugees. The rich and the nobles refused to share their precious lands and the frightened middle-class citizens were forced to live in the dilapidating underground ruins within Wall Sina which only further aggravated them since once simple things such as clean water and beds quickly started becoming a pressing issue. The Military Police did a surprisingly good job containing the unruly people with their antagonistic but obviously very effective advances, but the Garrison still had to prematurely deem Wall Rose safe and inhabitable again, lest a civil war should break out. Terrified families returned to their homes and even though some initially refused to leave Wall Sina, the Military Police had their secretive ways of persuading them to go. At the end of the brief evacuation period, when all civilians had returned to their rightful place far away from the dreadful slums, the complaints and the threat of the people from both classes disappeared, but bigger problems immediately surfaced and took their place. Economy and trade had drastically plummeted during the week, causing an uncontrollable inflation to corrupt the kingdom and an overall poverty to enfeeble its already weak population. Food and other necessities grew ever so difficult to acquire and since the Garrison's forces had been stretched thin across the length of Wall Rose on constant guard duty, the Military Police had to send additional troops to the four outer districts to establish at least some kind of calm.

If supposed couriers of peace carried rifles and guns.

I miraculously managed to get a letter from my aunt and Miriam in all of the chaos. I had received it from a tired remuneration officer calling around for a certain "Seraphina Berninger" in one of the overflowing clinics of Hermiha I had been keeping myself busy with. After washing off all the blood from my hands and wrists with unscented soap and water, I found a free chair where I could perch upon before unfurling the note. I recognized Lydia's sloppy penmanship without even reading a single word and smiled at the familiar and ever so rude habit she had of writing curses in letters as I read the actual message. She told me that she and Miriam were fine—No bloody titan will get to me or my family alive; your uncle taught me where them fat bastards' spots are—, that the clinic was going well—Twins born yesterday; drunken man who thought he could swallow his bottle of toxic; a woman with the oddest shape of her left breast, worried it might have something rotting within—and even remembered the courtesy of asking me how I was. I was moved by the lattermost, frankly feeling kind of homesick, and decided to send a reply as soon as I was either forcefully thrown out and bid to take a break—happened once, the first day—or ran out of patients to examine. Unfortunately, it never came down to either.

A week, I brooded as I rubbed my hands together. Seven days were all it took for humanity to turn against herself, finding new foes, igniting old conflicts and discovering dire flaws in everything but the real cause. If this is but a week, how will the world appear in a month?

I involuntarily shuddered. Jean glanced anxiously at me, hesitating to give me the box of random root vegetables, and called for Sasha, another recently enrolled cadet of the Scouting Legion and seemingly a comrade of the recruits I already knew. She had been kind to me thus far but often made me uncomfortable with her overly polite responses. In a way she reminded me of Hange with her dark auburn hair and brash, spontaneous, sometimes childish behavior, only, a less intelligent version of the infamous titan-fanatic. Sasha was far from stupid but I guessed that her demeanor wasn't as exaggerated as Hange's could be.

"I can handle it," I insisted and snatched the wooden box from his hands. Jean frowned but said nothing as I started towards the house with a grimace at the weight of my load.

"What is it?" I heard Sasha grudgingly offer behind me.

There was a sigh. "Take this, will you? It's filled with potatoes—your old friends."

I ignored their arguing and led my steps towards the entrance of the large log cabin. The earth was depressed in a natural path shaped by countless of human feet from the narrow dirt road towards the entrance of the cabin and I noticed, with ascending eyebrows, that someone had taken the time to neatly trim the grass and clean the windows. For a supposedly unused and confidential safe house, the revelation had me surprised a good while. But then, I remembered who it was we were dealing with and instinctively frowned in dismay as I trudged onwards. The fresh sensation of air mingled with the vaguely sweet scent of the surrounding pine trees had until then eased up my tense muscles, but my heart immediately began pounding hard against my ribcage as my thoughts veered into the worst kind of distraction. I bit down on my lip, hoping that the pain would snap me out of my emotional breakdown, but the feeling of the throbbing flesh only helped to remind me of what had happened and I was starting to feel unsteady.

Get it together, I told myself as I inhaled deeply, allowing as much oxygen as possible to flow through my malfunctioning body. Get it together, I repeated and stomped off the dust from my boots, gently kicking into the wall to remove the sand stuck beneath. Have patience; he'll be here soon.

And then we'll have a real talk.

It was beyond tricky but I somehow managed to peel open the door to the spacious log cabin and sneak in, using my foot to firmly nudge the door fully open for the recruits that followed me. Armin gave me a thankful smile and I silently replied with one of my own before placing my burden on the empty space on a counter, seeing as I stumbled straight into the heart of a sparsely decorated, yet more than sufficiently furnished kitchen. I dragged a sleeve over my forehead and almost jumped in trepidation as Eren appeared in the naked doorway, eyes widened in horror and a white bandana around his neck with a matching kerchief containing his hair. Stubborn strands of brown locks still peeked out of the latter wrapping though, making him look even younger than he was, and he glared accusatorily at his friends after quickly scanning me from head to toe.

"I heard that, you damn potato-girl!" snarled Jean, fed up with Sasha's quietly added answers. "No hunting, no stealing and no snacking! Do you get it or do you actually want to be chopped into stew by the corporal? He'd probably even force us to eat it! You!"

"Hey!" snapped Eren, decisively placing his left hand on the same side of his slender hips. "Did you guys at least brush your soles before entering?"

Jean rolled his eyes. "And why the hell should we have done that?" he venomously parried. Sasha agreed with a confused glance. "We're not exactly busy doing nothing. Anyways, who cares?"

I looked down at my boots, instantly catching up to Eren's thought process, and blushed as I remembered what I had done before stepping inside the house. It was an old habit, yes, but also a habit I had gotten from the man who even without being present tormented us all. In particular me and Eren.

Mentioned boy's eyes grew even larger and he approached Jean with panic, his hands waving frantically at his sides. "You just talked about the reason Sasha should be careful around food, you horse-faced idiot! You think this will suit the lance corporal's standard? No! If I hadn't fixed your messy bed—"

"Shut your hole, Jaeger, before I put something in it!" retorted Jean, reddening at the mention of "horse-face". "What, so you've suddenly become my mom now? I'm too damn exhausted, acquiring all these stuff. What have you done?"

Another voice interjected before Eren could reply. Mikasa and the beautiful blond girl I had met on Wall Rose strolled past the entrance, the former brandishing an ax in her left hand and an impressive pile of perfectly chopped logs beneath her right arm and the latter helping with an equally large amount of dismembered wood. Mikasa lazily slouched the basic weapon over her shoulder as she turned to face us and politely greeted with a "welcome back" before setting her stoic gaze straight again.

"Mikasa?" exclaimed Armin incredulously, staring at the girl as she casually passed. "W-what—you're not some vicious animal! You need to lie down!"

"I told her to rest but she claims she's fully recovered," said Eren, instead of Mikasa, in reply. "And I can't really stop her. She's even gone so far as to perform regular exercises; situps, pushups…"

At this, Jean went rigid.

"You've been spying on her?" he growled and swiftly stepped into Eren's personal space. "How dare you?!"

Eren furrowed his brows, defensively raising his hands towards his chest, and shouted, "What are you talking about?"

Sasha fumbled with something on the counter, gaining Armin's and my attention. "Sasha," the boy suspiciously uttered. "What was it you just stuffed into your bag?"

She spun around with a nervous smile. "No-nothing. Especially not bread or anything like that…"

I couldn't help but crack a smile as I absentmindedly regarded the infantile, yet lighthearted quarrel that was triggered by Sasha's obvious lie. The recruits were just so… abundant with life joy. I had seen them grave and unreasonably mature so many times that I had almost forgotten how young they actually were: mere teens. Additionally, I thought that they, too, needed to be reminded of how really youthful they were. This moment was something they would later come to reminiscence and cherish, even with the obvious annoyance that was traded about.

I realized with a sharp sting in my heart that I wouldn't even have thought twice about the situation if it weren't for Sebastian. It sounded horrible but if my brother never would have died, I would have continued to contemplate things in a usually pessimistic perspective and perhaps even have become irritated at the adolescents for fighting each other over such immature reasons. But now that Sebastian was gone, irreversibly and for forever more, I wished for nothing else but to see him again and have the luxury of being able to bicker over these trifle matters.

I unclenched my hands and quietly started to arrange the food supplies, opposing my aching shoulders' pleas of mercy. Briefly, I felt five pair of eyes quickly observe me before their owners also resumed working, the cabin getting prepared for its later arriving residents.

The weight of the rifle was oddly reassuring. I finally understood why the members of the Military Police acted so confident when carrying the deadly weapons: they had, after all, the power to administer extreme human discipline when necessary.

Commonly known as to end another individual's life.

It sickened me as much as it fascinated me. Knowing, pondering, then realizing that for a rifle to exist in human territory, a human must have originally made it. The combined item of wood, iron and gunpowder I was holding, the weapon that the military was producing and distributing to its prime soldiers who were meant to protect the kingdom's citizens, was a pure symbol of human terror and arrogant pride. Everyone knew what the guns and the rifles was meant to do—preserve peace—but nobody liked to contemplate about what they could be made to do to one another. They were weapons carried by humans and solely designed to kill, hurt and threaten other humans. It was morbid, ironic and horrifying considering humanity had other, considerably worse things to deal with, but regrettably too true.

I suddenly remembered what my father had told me once. Humans are an ugly race, Nicolas Berninger had whispered to his four-year-old daughter, a day of delicately frosted windows and shivering by the large fire place. His scornful voice had scared me even as he carefully wrapped the blanket tighter around my cold body and held me, hard. Ugly, despicable and weak. You're lucky you're different.

I pressed together my lips. If only he wouldn't have said that last bit. Maybe, I could have pretended I was the same as everyone else and faked any potential questions considering my childhood. Maybe, I would have been a better, no—stronger person than who I am today today.

"Sera?"

I shook my head clear from thoughts and spun around. "Hey," I sternly replied as I lowered the rifle. "Is it already time for a change of guards?"

Jean hurried up the short flight of wooden stairs separating the outpost from the grassy downhill. "'Already'?" he echoed and took the weapon. "It's been hours."

"Oh," I said, unable to find a better answer.

"The squad leader wanted to see you," said the recruit in a neutral tone as he shrugged on the rifle sling over his right shoulder.

"Did he say why?" I carefully asked, freezing mid-descent.

"No, but you should probably find him as soon as possible. He didn't sound happy."

I stalked away from the boy with an irritated frown. "He never does," I muttered under my breath.

After rinsing my hands in a barrel of rain water placed strategically against the side of the house, I wiped them on my trousers as I found my way indoors, glad to be able to remove the resembling smell of blood from my hands. The recruits were busy cooking and I gently squeezed past them, almost knocking into Eren's backside as I dodged Mikasa's violently whipping elbows. He gave me a quick smile and I awkwardly straightened as I stared at the girl's clinical precision with the knife. The peeled, yellow potatoes stood absolutely no chance.

"Do you know where Levi is?" I wondered and hoped he wouldn't sense the slight tremor in my voice.

Fortunately, Eren seemed too busy with his task to notice. "Uh-huh," he replied while concentrating on keeping up with Mikasa's vicious cutting speed. He heatedly grabbed another onion and sliced it in half. "He's checking all the rooms," he gulped and a look of fright flashed across his face, temporarily interrupting his motion. "Let's pray he won't kill us after dinner."

My smile stiffened. I had hoped to see Levi in the somewhat safety other people's presence but considering our past, I guessed observers wouldn't really matter. If our conversation would escalate into a fight, the least I could do was to minimize the amount of casualties.

"Yeah," I numbly agreed, more to myself than Eren as I headed deeper into the house. Yeah.

The log cabin was quiet except for the ambient noises of boiling water and metal stabbing against wood coming from the kitchen. I had spotted Hange and her squad leave for about half an hour ago and hoped to get some sort of recap of the meeting I intentionally had avoided by taking the first guard. Although not from Levi, of course.

What can I say? I inwardly asked, automatically rubbing my hands together. How should I even begin? "Hey, Levi, I just wanted to say:—I grimaced but allowed my panicking mind to continue—I'm completely and utterly lost for you. But, since you're one heck of a jerk, I cannot allow myself to be with you. So could you please stop existing? For the sake of my sanity?"

I slapped myself in the forehead and slumped against the wall, a scowl etching onto my features. I'm gonna have creases before I'm thirty, I dryly thought as pressed my head against the cool wood and sighed. Immediately, a familiar snort was heard from the room furthest down the hall accompanied by a coolly spoken, "Get in here already."

My breath hitched in the back of my throat. I swallowed the lump that was beginning to shape and thrust my legs forward, moving them even though they were quivering like wet clothes flapping in the wind from a washing line. It felt as if my bones had turned into an unsubstantial mess and that mere will was what kept me going. And that, only barely. I knew that I was a coward but not even anger could stop me from shaking. If anything, it only made it worse. All the usual tactics such as breathing deeply, thinking about petty distractions, or remembering the horrifying night in the frozen lake was nothing compared to what I was experiencing while walking down the hallway. My steps were long and even, conveying a loose illusion of confidence which, of course, was as far away from the truth as it could get, and I kept my focus glued to the irregular pattern of the floorboards, unable to look up when I eventually arrived at the threshold of the opened doorway.

"Hey," I quietly mumbled, coming to a halt. "Jean said you wanted to see me?"

He didn't reply. I finally mustered enough foolish bravery to raise my chin and did so, immediately losing myself in his cold, silvery eyes. We stood there, simply staring at each other as neither of us could come up with something to say. His clothes hugged him in all the right ways, igniting, heightening the ever-present physical attraction that I felt for him. He was, without a doubt, the handsomest man I had ever met. Still, everything about his attitude, from the determined set of his jaw, the thin line of his gorgeous lips to the nonchalance of his posture, practically screamed for me to keep my distance. It wasn't hard for me to obey the loud notion, seeing as my body had turned numb from being torn between desire, heartache and self-directed spite.

"How was your week?" he abruptly demanded.

I cringed at his uncharacteristic effort to be civilized. "Fine, I guess," I answered, surprising myself with how flat my tone was. "Yours?"

Levi ran a hand through his hair, the pale skin contrasting noticeably amidst all the black. "Fucking horrid," he exhaled.

My heart refused to calm down. At the clinic, Lydia had once reprimanded a retired soldier for continuing with his strenuous exercises even when reaching a respectable age of fifty-eight, meaning that the heart was destined already from birth to beat a certain number of times. If her statement held the slightest sliver of truth, I was probably going to reach my limit by the end of the year, at least in Levi's infuriatingly irresistible presence.

"How's the commander?" I wondered, continuing our straight ludicrous charade to be polite. "And Hange? I wasn't able to see her earlier." In my stupid endeavor to evade you, I inwardly added.

"Tsk. Shitty-glasses was always just fine." His voice lowered. "And Erwin is finally awake."

"That's really good," I instantly sputtered, feeling relieved over the pleasant news. Then, I frowned. "Why do you look so… sullen?" I asked.

Levi's tone was solemn, genuine. "We should talk."

The furrow between my eyebrows deepened and I defensively crossed my arms over my chest. "Yeah," I sarcastically agreed, tensing at the recollection. "Because that went just fine last time."

"I didn't mean to do that," Levi snapped. His silvery eyes flared with anger and broke through his guise of indifference. "I don't know what came over me. For a while, I just…"

The hesitation, I thought in disbelief as I watched him close his mouth, pinch the bridge of his nose and sigh. It's the second time he's ever doubted his own words.

"Look," he began as he glared at me. "Could we just skip all of this bullshit?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about," I sternly replied even though my heart skipped a beat. "Do you mean your crappy jokes?"

"No."

"Your outrageous venture at being civilized?"

He scowled. "No," he repeated aggressively.

"Too bad," I said, defiantly raising my eyebrows. "Because you're pretty horrible at both."

"Shut it," he snarled and pointed a reproachful finger at me. "You're making this so much harder than it should be. Are you even aware of our current situation?"

I glowered at him. "I'm not stupid! Who doesn't know humanity's on the verge of self-destruction?"

"Exactly," he said as he took a step closer, an intimidating look hardening his features. "People will do anything to survive, thievery and extortion being the least of our concerns. And whom do you think carries the task to erect order amidst all this disgusting chaos?"

"It's the duty of the military to uphold peace," I confidently replied, remembering the phrase from the days of training as a cadet. "I reckon the Garrison and the Military Police are having their hands full?"

Levi frowned. "Yes, the shitheads of the Military Police." He snorted condescendingly. "Those lazy pigs are busier than ever. It would have been fun to watch their usually incapable, fat asses get to work if it weren't for the fact that they're after Eren…"

There was a strained pause. I waited and his jaw tensed before he reluctantly added, "And you."

I felt my face drain with color but managed to keep steady, the extreme mixture of fear, fury and frustration numbing my emotions. "Explain," I demanded.

"Don't ask me how," Levi warned, "and Hange barely knows anything either. Erwin is currently looking into it, but thus far it's been concluded that someone noticed your overall state during the expedition and talked to the higher-ups about it. I don't blame whoever it was for seeing such an obvious misfit since even a toddler would be able to discern you amongst a proper troop, uniform or not—"I rolled my eyes at this,"—but still, the development is worrying. We don't know what they want to do with you, although I have a rather accurate guess."

"I-Is that why I'm here?" I bleakly wondered, ignoring the last. "To keep me… hidden?"

"You could put it like that." He quickly looked away. "But the true reason is probably because I want to protect you."

Levi stood dangerously close to me now, barely allowing an arm's length of air to divide us. There was electricity about, sparkling hotter, more furious than ever and even though I was tempted to simply turn around and leave, a part of me was too allured, too… willing to give in to the voracious monster within me. It was ripping me apart, the suspense, the apprehension that immediately roused at our close proximity, and I lost what little self-assurance I had been able to reestablish after a week of, frankly, therapeutic work at the clinics. I had helped others but mainly in a selfish purpose; I had needed something to get my thoughts off Levi and hopefully, help me forget the curse of his touch, the invigorating feeling of heat that surged through my every bone and muscle every time I saw him. But of course, as soon as he gently tucked a strand of hair behind my left ear, his calloused fingers brushing over my skin, I involuntarily shuddered in content, my defenses crumbling as easily as a castle made of sticks and leaves. His large hand cradled my cheek and his voice was soft as he spoke.

"I don't know what you're thinking," he murmured. "But I fucking cannot get you out of my head no matter what I do. I know it ended badly—"

I instantaneously snapped back into reality. "That's a damn understatement," I maliciously interrupted as I tore away his hand, my heart roaring in rage. "How could you do something like that to me? How could you go behind my back and lie to me like that?"

Levi arched his brows. "I have no fucking idea of what you're telling me right now," he earnestly said as he dropped his arms to his sides.

"You don't?" I almost shouted now, my vision gradually growing blurrier. The blood rushed back to my face and I felt my face contort into a nasty grimace. I didn't want to fight, I really didn't, but I couldn't stop myself from going headfirst into what would surely escalate into an ugly argument. I had avoided this conversation for far too long—five years even.

"You don't remember anything?" I went on at his frustrated silence, instinctively curling a hand towards my chest. "Do you even possess a conscience? What kind of heartless bastard are you?"

"You're not the first one to say that," he unkindly remarked, making me flinch, "and you definitely won't be the last. I don't mind getting reminded, seeing how old I am, so enlighten me: what in the fuck's name are you ranting about?"

"Oh please," I exclaimed in exasperation. "Why do you think we broke up in the first place? You think I'd just walk out on you like nothing?" My voice broke.

"Actually, yes." Levi frowned at my dumbfounded expression. "What?" he growled.

I groaned as I slapped myself in the forehead. "Seriously?"

"You're making absolutely no sense at all," he venomously stated.

"And you…" I grumbled through my gritted teeth, thoroughly fuming. Although I knew I would miss, I was very close to striking him, and had to inhale deeply before finally uttering the words I had dreaded to confront all these years. "You really are the worst, aren't you? Not only did you cheat on me but now you're also denying it face to face? You damn coward!"

I suddenly slammed into the wall once next to me, Levi heatedly gripping the material of my blouse. It would have felt passionate if it weren't for the bone-chilling frigidness that glowed from his silvery eyes and the unmistakable harshness of his knuckles against my skin.

"Are you accusing me of infidelity or cowardice?" he challenged in a deadly tone.

I blinked in surprise. "I'm not 'accusing' you of anything," I then valiantly parried. "I saw you."

"When?" he snapped, his demeanor impossible to read.

"The night before I told you to get the heck out of my life," I scornfully replied, my jaws barely moving. "She was there to open the door. In your shirt. While you were having a shower, you unfaithful pig!"

To my dismay, I started to cry uncontrollably. I knew I wasn't a pretty weeper and shamefully diverted my face to the side, breaking off. There, I thought as I tried to blink away the unwanted water. I finally admitted it. I finally said it out loud.

Levi's grip of me abruptly loosened but before I was able to hide my flushed features in the safety of my palms, another pair of hands sternly redirected my face forward. I hastily mustered my most intimidating glare but stiffened as I found that his silvery eyes had lighted up with understanding. Before I was able to come up with an insult of some sort, he astonished me by snorting lightly.

"Tahlia was a very old friend," Levi calmly said, his thumb wiping away a runaway tear. "Since she didn't really have a place to stay for the night, I offered her mine. It was shitty-ass weather by the time that fucking drunkard had her last sip and I was generous enough to lend her a shower and a shirt so she wouldn't freeze half to death. That's it."

It took me a very long moment to realize what he was actually saying, my brain working on a tenth of its usual speed. "'Was'?" was all I then managed to reply, the rest of his words seeming too unbelievable to be true.

Levi's jaw tightened. "She died the same year we met."

"Titans?" I cautiously pronounced, feeling hollow at the very mention of the dreadful monsters.

His silvery eyes narrowed. "No," he cryptically answered. "She was in the wrong place at the wrong time."

"Liar," I immediately lashed out. "You're lying."

"Get your shit together, stupid," he coolly retorted. "I've never been anything but honest to you. Always."

"Then why didn't you fight for us?" I wildly exclaimed even though our faces were merely inches apart. He didn't even flinch at my shrill tone, his handsome countenance remaining stoic. "Why didn't you even care to explain? You could've easily solved everything!"

"Because!" Levi snarled, pausing ever so slightly. He released me and swiftly turned away, his piercing gaze dulling and lowering towards something on the floor. "Because, Sera," he quietly went on, "I thought you left me because you finally realized you could have someone better. Someone not as… broken."

I forgot how to breathe. How to function normally. And my heart felt like it had shattered into a thousand pieces as I watched his proud stature slacken. Another wave of sorrow shook my unsteady foundation and a fresh set of searing hot tears rolled down my cheeks. It was beyond horrible to hear him say such a thing, to speak of himself in such a belittling way and pained me to my very core, the very essence of my whole being. It stripped me of every ounce of anger; I felt nothing but utter sympathy as I continued to listen, shocked, with my hands covering my gaping mouth.

"I've always considered you too good, too pure to be with someone like me," he harshly admitted, his voice suddenly sounding awfully strained. "I'm well aware of who the fuck I am; I'm not some kind of shitty fairytale hero—I'm a damn fucking horrible human being. And I've always been just fine with that, satisfied even, until I met you.

"I knew that there would come a morning when you'd wake up and actually see me for what I really am: an asshole. Every fucking day I wished for you to remain ignorant to my vices a day longer, to stay blind for all my faults and flaws, and although that lasted damn long and well, I knew you'd open your eyes sooner or later. And thus, I promised myself to let you go without a struggle if you would so choose. I… I swear on my life I wanted your happiness, no matter what it would cost me.

"Sera," Levi stopped and spun around, his mouth curling into a bitter, joyless smile. "I don't know how I can say this without sounding like a complete fucking idiot but I'm—"

He never finished his sentence. I made sure of it as I clumsily tackled him, almost tripping over my numb feet in the process. His arms automatically went out to catch me and his strong physique easily absorbed the force of my push, though he still had to stabilize our combined weight and currently swaying balance by putting a foot behind him. I ignored the curse that flew out of his mouth and curled my arms around the hardness of his muscular torso, embracing him as hard as I possibly could.

"You're wrong," I ungracefully grunted between my sobs. "You're wrong. Don't say anything more, I beg you. I forgive you for everything. Just please… please don't talk about yourself like this ever again. Please."

All I heard was my own ragged breathing. But then, he responded to my touch and hesitantly clasped around me and gently squeezed in return. I closed my eyes in relief; for a second, I had been afraid that he'd deny my gesture and push me away.

"And you say I'm the stupid one," I whispered, my voice getting grainy of all the crying. "Levi, even though people oftentimes prefer to believe else, me included… we all know you're only human."

Levi snorted haughtily but carefully pressed his head against mine. "Maybe," he dubiously muttered into my hair, a hand firmly stroking the back of my head. "Or I could've just managed to masterly deceive you idiots."

The smell of him, the lovely fragrance of his masculine aftershave, black, unsweetened tea and smooth skin never ceased to spur my heart into a rapid pace and I inhaled deeply, my forehead smoothening as I unceremoniously buried my face into his neck.

"Shut it." I breathed as my mouth moved over the dark fabric of his jacket. I simply couldn't refrain from smirking at his poorly executed joke. "Don't ruin the moment."

Levi's grip around me became more confident and his tone was steady, almost normal, as he gravely said, "I've missed you."

My smile immediately widened. It felt as if a heavy burden had been raised off of my shoulders; I couldn't remember the last time I had been this abundant with delight; I couldn't remember the last time I had put aside my hatred for Levi Ackerman and allowed myself to relish in the naked reality of my emotions. I had never been more ascertain of my feelings for him than in that exact moment, wrapped in the safety of his arms, a place I knew I truly belonged to, and so I could respond without even the slightest hint of past disgust, guilt or anger. I put all of it behind me.

I raised my lips to his clean-shaven cheek and kissed him lightly. The notion came naturally and for once, Levi was the one who stiffened beneath my touch, although he was quick to try to disguise it with a frown. I beamed at his bemused expression and traced the chiseled angle of his cheekbone with a gentle finger. He was just too beautiful to keep away from.

"I've missed you, too."