Chapter 3:

The name was all she needed to break her out of her own thoughts. Lexa shook her head, quickly wiped the tears and hopped down from the railing. Swiftly heading into the heart of the room and finding a robe. She took a deep calming breathe before she spoke, trying to calm all the fears that were now rushing through her mind. She had commanded Indra and Trikru to remain somewhat friendly with the Arkers. She asked Indra to watch, listen and be on alert for news on any retribution or retaliation for Mount Weather. This was common knowledge to the coalition members and Titus her trusted advisor. Lexa knew the SkaiKru posed no real threat to her coalition, their retaliation if any would result in certain death for them. They were outnumbered, naive to their new world and unprepared for a real war versus the 12 clans. Only Indra and Lexa knew her true mission: to watch, listen and be on alert for any news of Clarke.

When Indra entered the room she walked slow and deliberate. She kept her eyes low and her jaw set tight. She's angry Lexa observed.

"Indra, what news?" Lexa said trying to remain calm.

Indra raised her head to finally meet the commanders piercing eyes. Swallowing Indra began, "Commander the sky girl remains on her own."

Lexa nodded, she knew Clarke left the Arkers camp after the mountain. She had heard from Indra about Clarke irradiating the mountain and erasing them from existence. Lexa believed she understood why Clarke left.

Clarke couldn't kill Quint. She couldn't leave Lexa to die when the Pauna attacked. She tried to get revenge for TonDC by killing he sniper, Lexa recalled her own words "did that make you feel better?", she recalled the pain in Clarke's answer. She imagined how Clarke felt committing genocide in the mountain for her people Lexas own mantra crept into her thoughts and it sent a shiver down her spine. Lexa knew what Clarke was now carrying on her back: the burnt grounders at the drop ship, the people of TonDC, Anya, the mountain men and her own people. Clarke carries the weight of everything she'd done for her people - for her people. Once again another similarity and Lexa chokes down a bitter smile. Her pure heart, her feelings, she is driven by them her actions are out of a strong desire to survive - for her people to survive, she wears her heart on her sleeve and wears it like armour. She left so she wouldn't have to face it. Any of it. She wouldn't have to face the words of thanks, the sighs of relief, the pain in their eyes of what they went through. By not going back Clarke is avoiding be thanked, praised and congratulated for defeating their enemy. She's avoiding being thanked for killing hundreds Lexa mused as once again a memory flooded her senses. The memory of Titus standing before her, praising her in front of her people, in front of her new ambassadors for defeating their enemy and bringing peace between the 12 clans. Lexa bitterly thought back to that day biting her lip as she recalled what he was truly thanking her for: letting Costia die. She hadn't picked up a sword to go find the young girl, she hadn't gone to fight the Ice Queen for her and finally she hadn't even raised a sword in vengeance for the torture and beheading of Costia, she just allowed it to happen - for her people.

"Commander?" Indra's loud tone broke her train of thought.

Lexa shook her had, angry with herself that she allowed her mind to wander. She had missed what Indra had said. "Please, Indra I think I misheard you."

Indra looked a little more closely at the commander, her eyes scrutinizing. Lexa looked away. Indra cleared her throat and repeated herself.

"Clarke is surviving.." she started slowly, "her skills are growing daily, she eats and travels but.." Indra paused unsure if she should continue.

"But?" Lexa rounded on her, concern breaking through her stoic posture as she closed the distance between them, she was searching Indra's eyes "But what? Speak true Indra."

Indra examined the commander for only a second before swallowing her words. "I am not sure she is in good health."

Lexa's breath catches, "how so?"

"Sleep seems to evade her, she has…fits…she wanders aimlessly it seems at times. Her body looks tired, her spirit is weak." Indra looked away as she said this. Lexa observed her shrewdly, realization dawning on her that this was indeed Indra expressing worry for the young sky girl. The concern in her voice warmed Lexa slightly, she had been right to give this task to Indra. Lexa nodded, silently begging her to continue - she had to know. Any information on Clarke was food for her soul, she needed to know anything and everything.

"Commander there's something else."

This statement caught her off guard, she was expecting more news about Clarke. She needed it. Anger bubbled within her "what?"

"Its Azgeda."

Lexa froze. Ice Nation. Her anger boiled, now was not the time to bring that up. Not now, not again. Her anger slowly turned to fear as she looked upon Indra again. The warrior's strong mask had faded and worry filled her eyes. No, Lexa thought, Don't say it.

Indra licked her lips before she continued, she was bracing herself and Lexa knew it. "Azgeda have put a bounty out."

Lexa's heart sank. The room began to spin. She felt hot and cold and unsteady on her own two feet.

"They want Wanheda." Indra continued looking at the commander.

"Wanheda" Lexa whispered, Commander of Death, she shivered as the term crossed her lips. Clarke, she thought as she crossed the room to her desk, grabbing the edge to keep her trembling legs from giving way. She knew what this meant as she reached for one of her daggers, tracing its blade with her finger tip.

Their people believe that when you kill someone you gain their power. Lexa knew of the stories travelling between the 12 clans. The story of SkyKru's leader ridding the grounders of their singly greatest enemy in a single and decisive blow. Her legend built as Lexa's faltered a step.

Titus warned her. Titus had told Lexa to seek out Clarke and end her legend. To end the stories. To end the assumption that their Heda was weak for not doing what a single girl who fell from the sky did. Ending Clarke's legend would irrefutably place Lexa above all.

She stabbed the dagger into the desk with a pounding thud. Anger, fear, worry and guilt flooding into every ounce of her body. It was all hitting her in waves. Lexa swallowed her emotions, she had to think. She had to act. "Indra, fetch Roan."