Steve had to smother a laugh when he saw Bucky's expression at the swimming trunks. Every other morning he and Bucky had gone for a run, but Steve had decided that this morning could be spent in the pool instead.

"You really expect me to wear these?" Bucky asked, holding up the trunks.

"Be thankful they're not Speedos." Steve grinned.

"They're very short."

"We have a pairs like that when we were kids."

"Yeah, 80 years ago in the Depression when we were about 12, and no one could afford material."

Steve grinned, and pulled his hoodie off over his head. "Go and change. You'll love the pool. Stark really thought some of these things through."

A few minutes later the two soldiers emerged from the changing room, Steve confident, Bucky, somewhat less so.

"These are really tight." Bucky said, fiddling with the waist-tie.

"Well you don't want them to fall off."

"I do like blood circulation below my waist," Bucky grumbled. "Oh," he stopped.

"Like I said," Steve smiled, giving his friend a pat on the back, "It's pretty ace."

The swimming pool in Stark Towers was on the 28th floor, with spectacular views across New York, even on a dull grey morning such as this. But what made the pool even more impressive was that one edge and one length ran along the window.

"Yeah," Bucky agreed, amazed.

"Well," Steve said, "What are you waiting for?" Holding his goggles, he broke into a run and leapt into the water, pulling his knees up to his chest mid-air and landing with an almightily splash. Seconds later Steve surfaced, and treading water, shook the water from his face. "The water is at a perfect 83 degrees."

Bucky looked the all too inviting water. "How deep is it?"

"At this end, 6"5, and 5"2 up the other."

"Alright." Bucky said. "You better move across."

Steve had just enough time to move out of the way before Bucky ran and jumped into the pool. The soldier surfaced and pushed his hair back from his face.

"See!" Steve smiled, putting on his googles, "I'll race you to the other end."

"Ah,"

"Buck?" Steve asked, suddenly concerned. Bucky, who only moments ago had been smiling, now looked to be in shock.

"I just, I…" Bucky swam quickly to the edge of the pool and pulled himself up onto the ledge.

"Y'ok?" Steve asked.

"I just…" Bucky was breathing heavily and gripped the side of the pool, his knuckles white from the strain. Steve could see in his friend's eyes that he had just relived something painful.

"Are you ok?" Steve asked again.

Bucky nodded unconvincingly, and flicked his hair back.

Steve paddled over and grabbed hold of the edge of the pool. "You wanna go get dressed?"

"I'm ok." Bucky mumbled, looking down so as to avoid Steve's eye.

"You mind if I do some laps?" Steve asked, never sure as to what he was supposed to do when then happened to Bucky.

"No," Bucky said.

"Ok. Well, you just, I dunno, stay there I suppose." Steve said.

"Yeah," Bucky replied.

Steve pushed off the wall back into the middle of the pool and began to swim. He didn't know what Bucky had seen, or why the water had brought it back. What Steve did know was that it only alarmed him half as much as the scaring on his friend's body. Steve had had to force himself to look Bucky in the eyes to avoid staring at his chest where the metal arm joined his body. It was just too hard to comprehend what had been done to Bucky. Whatever they'd done, it sure looked enough to give anyone nightmares for life. The Captain reached the end of the pool and turned around.

Steve had done a dozen laps or so when he noticed that Bucky had entered the water and had began to swim along beside him. Steve couldn't help but smile and increased his pace, eager to beat his friend, despite the metal arm undoubtedly giving Bucky the advantage in this situation. Steve counted another two dozen laps before he stopped and pulled himself up onto the edge of the pool. Bucky did the same.

"Ready for breakfast?" Steve asked. The sky outside was now growing lighter. It looked like it was going to be another wet, grey day in New York, but even in the damp morning light the city, still bright with night lights, looked magical.

"Yeah," Bucky replied without any enthusiasm.

They both climbed out of the pool and returned to the change room to shower in silence. It worried Steve, but he still didn't know how much to push Bucky in regards to getting him to talk.

"Sorry about that, earlier." Bucky called to Steve in the next cubicle while they showered.

"Don't worry about it!" Steve called back, even though he worried.

"I made you worry, though," Bucky said, "I could see it in your eyes."

Steve sighed, glad Bucky couldn't see him now. "Hey," Steve said, praying his voice wouldn't betray how bad he felt about everything he really felt, "It's not your fault."

"No," Bucky said, letting the water from the shower wash over him, wishing it could wash away what he'd done, "That one was my fault."

Steve washed the last of the shampoo from his hair and turned off his shower. "Do you wanna tell me why?" He asked, grabbing his towel. There was silence for a number of moments while Steve dried himself, then wrapped the towel around his waist. "You right, Buck?"

"Because I shot you," Bucky said finally.

Steve opened his cubicle door, "I don't blame you for that, you don't need to worry." He walked over to the bench and pulled on his t-shirt.

"I could have let you drown." Bucky said quietly, the sound of the water from his shower almost masking his words.

"Pardon?" Steve called, not sure he'd correctly heard what Bucky had said, pulling on his hoodie. He wasn't sure how far to push Bucky into talking. Especially about this.

"I could have let you drown." Bucky repeated.

"Well, lucky for me, you didn't." Steve said, pulling his jocks on underneath his towel, then letting the towel drop to the floor. Modesty didn't really matter as there was no one here to see, Steve just - liked to be modest.

"I thought about leaving you." Bucky said.

Steve was beginning to feel uncomfortable. He didn't know how to respond. He wasn't a shrink, and also, this time the situation directly involved him. "You nearly done in that shower, Buck?" Steve dried his feet and pulled on his pants. A moment later, Bucky's shower stopped.

"I didn't want you to die."

"I know," Steve said.

"Even though I had - wanted to kill you, I - I didn't. I don't."

"I know."

"You should have drowned."

"Yep."

Bucky opened the cubicle door and stood awkwardly with his towel around his waste, body still dripping wet. "I grabbed you."

"Thank-you," Steve said, grabbing another towel from the stand and slowly approaching Bucky. Steve felt so incredibly stupid. How could he not have known it was Bucky who had saved him? Bucky who had - admittedly, shot him multiple times and punched the crap out of him, but still - it had been Bucky who prevented him from drowning. Steve had just assumed - well, now he wasn't sure he had assumed anything. He didn't recall falling from the helicarrier and ending up in the river. He been told that that had happened, of course, but he'd just assumed it had been Sam or some good egg left in SHIELD who had fished him out. "Really," Steve said, tentatively handing Bucky the other towel, "Thank-you."

Bucky took the towel without a response. He walked past Steve to where his clothes were piled on the bench before quickly drying and dressing whilst Steve slowly put on his shoes and socks.

"You ready to go?" Steve asked, dumping his wet towel and swimming trunks in the dirty washing basket.

Bucky sat down on the bench and put his head in his hands. Steve went around and collected Bucky's wet things, placing them in the basket with his own, before sitting down beside his friend.

"Hey," Steve said, "You know that you saved me, right?" He asked, giving Bucky a playful poke in the ribs. "You did that. You, knowing exactly what you were doing, saving me."

"I still hurt you."

"I'm confident that you certainly won't again."

"I don't know." Bucky voice cracked as he spoke.

"Well, you know what always makes me feel better?" Steve asked, "Bacon and eggs on toast. And maybe some baked beans. Followed by a generous bowl of corn flakes, washed down with steaming mug of joe. What do you reckon, Buck?"

Bucky turned his head and looked at Steve. The look in Bucky's eyes almost broke Steve's heart, but the Captain knew not to show it. If he showed any pain or guilt, Bucky would notice and add it to his own pile of hurt. The look told Steve what to do.

"Right, to breakfast, soldier!" He said, standing up. Bucky followed his lead reluctantly. "Natasha should be up, as will Clint if they spent the night together," Steve explained, heading toward the elevator, "Thor's always awake, but don't expect him to have left us any Pop-Tarts. Pop-Tarts are weird anyway. They're like dessert for breakfast, especially the ones with fairy-sprinkles. Jane might be up. Maybe Dr Banner. Definitely not Tony. Possibly Pepper." Steve stopped and pressed the button for the elevator.

"I couldn't watch you fall." Bucky said quietly, still half lost in his own dark memories.

Steve faced the elevator doors, unable to look at his friend. "I know. Believe me, that I know."

Ding. The doors opened and Steve and Bucky stepped inside.

"Enjoy your swim, sirs?" Jarvis asked.

"Very nice, thank-you Jarvis," Steve replied, wondering how much Jarvis had been watching them. The elevator doors closed and they went up for their morning meal.