Chapter 11:
"Commander?" Indra said, quietly crossing the distance to Lexa's side.
Lexa continued to look at where Clarke had vanished into the woods.
"Commander?" Indra tried again, clearing her throat. "What are your orders? She's getting away, we'll lose her tracks if we wait much longer."
Lexa didn't know how long she had sat there. All she knew was her skin was still burning from Clarke's touch. The fire burned inside her and a part of her knew it always would.
Clarke was incredible. Lexa knew how angry she was, she knew how scared she must be, but she still remained at Lexa's side caring for her until other help arrived. Lexa fought hard against herself trying to fight the thought that Clarke had done it out of some form of love versus just being her usual helpful self. Lexa had never seen Clarke turn away from helping someone before and she was hardpressed to let herself think Clarke did it because she cared for her. Regardless, she couldn't help but feel a tiny glimmer of hope.
Lexa swallowed as she realized in that moment exactly what Clarke meant to her. Clarke meant hope. Hope for peace, hope for a life, hope for love…a hope for something more than survival.
"No Indra. Let her go." Lexa whispered.
"Commander? What about the bounty? The sky girl's in danger?" Indra questioned.
"Do not question me Indra, remember your place." Lexa responded curtly. No one questioned her decisions...except Clarke but she didn't say that last part out loud. Clarke was in danger herself but her existence put Lexa and everything Lexa had created for her people at risk. The logic to not love Clarke was there, she understood it but she couldn't ignore her feelings. They had grown tenfold since the mountain. The distance between her and the blonde only intensified her yearning.
"We have to return to Polis. Have you heard from Roan?"
"Yes commander," Indra replied, "he sent word of Azgeda's army. They sent multiple scouting parties out. He also believes they have partnered up with other clans in search of Wanheda."
"Which ones?" Lexa feared this situation from the moment she heard of the bounty. She was glad she had the foresight to send Roan on his mission back to his home clan. He owed her and she was glad he had come in use.
"The boat people, the desert clan and Azgeda so far."
Lexa balled her hand into a fist. Nodding she looked at Indra. "Help me up. We have to move."
Indra helped Lexa to a painful stand. Lexa was so grateful to Clarke's wrap. It helped immensely. Slowly they made there way out of the woods.
When they were out in the open Indra brought Lexa to a small gathering of her guard. When she arrived they all cheered and hollered for her. Indra led the commander to her tent and helped her with her gear. "Thank you Indra, tomorrow we head the rest of the way to Polis. That will be all." With one more glance Indra left the tent.
Now that she was alone Lexa let it all out. In anger and frustration she swung her remaining uninjured arm and sent candles, papers and maps flying. In the privacy of her tent she wept her silent tears before sleep finally took her.
She dreamed of Clarke.
Clarke kept walking. She kept putting one foot in front of the other. Her head was screaming at her to stop, to turn around to go back to Lexa. She didn't. Her body kept its motion forwards, she stumbled here and there but still remained on her mission forward.
Clarke wasn't sure when the tears had stopped during her march but she was acutely aware of when they began to flow again. It was whenever she was picturing Lexa, on her back in pain with the Pauna about to crush her. Clarke shuddered as the image filled her eyes again before it was replaced with the second image. The one of Lexa in the dirt, unconscious and injured. Clarke had thought she was dead. Clarke felt a pang in heart.
She's alive, she told herself. She's alive. I saved her life. Clarke you touched her, you felt her warmth she's not dead. Clarke continued her mantra as she trudged onwards. She didn't realize where her body was taking her until she stopped at the edge of a clearing.
Ahead of her was a small outpost building. The outside was adorned in crafted goods and pelts hung to dry. The trading post. She had been a few times now. This was the one run by a blonde grounder. Clarke froze and took in the surroundings. She waited for a full hour before deciding the coast was clear.
She went inside. "Morning." Clarke said, unaware until now that she had walked all night. She slammed a bunch of her pauna meat and pelt on the table. "The usual supplies please."
The last time she was there the grounder girl had assisted Clarke with a wound from a panther. Clarke tried to block out the image of the two girls entangled on the grounders bed. She swallowed hard as she caught the girls eye.
Niylah smiled a knowing smile and Clarke sheepishly returned it. "So will you be staying?" the girl asked flirtatiously.
"No. I'm in a hurry." Clarke stated trying to be impersonal. She didn't want to hurt her feelings, but Clarke didn't want anything from the girl but her supplies. The last meeting had been a mistake. Clarke was out of her mind with guilt and just needed something to take the edge off. She felt horrible for it but it was the truth. It was primal and Clarke needed it but it lacked. She didn't enjoy it as much as she thought. She didn't want to listen to the small voice in the back of her head that added because it wasn't Lexa.
Nylah nodded and swallowed what she was going to say. Taking Clarke's cue and reading the mood of the room she silently headed to the backroom.
Not long after Nylah left the room the door to the trading post swung open. Clarke instinctively looked up at the sound. She saw a giant of a man enter, he was extremely stocky and Clarke could see the muscles through all the dirt and furs. He carried nothing but a sword. Clarke quickly lowered her gaze and turned to focus on a trinket to her left.
She could feel the man's eyes on her but she refused to look. He obviously wasn't here to trade. He was looking for something else. Clarke had a pretty good idea what that was.
"Nylah you have a customer" she called out in Trigadesleng.
The man continued to look at Clarke, she refused to meet his gaze. Determined to keep her eyes locked on the trinket. Nylah entered the room and quickly judged the situation.
"You have something to trade?" she asked the man curtly.
"No." he said continuing to stare at Clarke. Cocking his head he turned to look at Nylah, he placed a piece of parchment on the table.
"Have you seen this woman?" he asked in a gruff voice tapping the paper with the end of his dagger. Clarke heard the metal hit the wood a few times. He was threatening Nylah – subtly - but still threatening. Clarke slowly moved her hand to her dagger.
"Not for two days." Nylah replied glancing quickly at Clarke.
The man smiled. "You sure about that?"
Nylah nodded and swallowed, "she said she was heading East, towards the sea." The man looked at her shrewdly before mentioning his thanks and turning. He paused and looked at Clarke again before heading out the door.
Clarke sighed in relief.
When the door was shut Nylah quickly motioned for Clarke to follow her to the back room. She was heading to open the back door when it flew open on her knocking her back. Clarke stumbled as Nylah landed beneath her.
The man from minutes before was there, he made his move towards Clarke and Nylah surprised them both by ripping out a dagger and stabbing the man in the thigh "RUN!" she shouted at Clarke and Clarke turned to leave the backroom. She heard a sickening crunch as the man kicked Nylah square in the face knocking her unconscious.
Clarke didn't look back. She grabbed whatever she could on the way to the front door and bolted through it. Her legs were burning but she kept her pace, running full tilt into the woods. She wasn't sure if the man had followed her but she kept running.
When she finally couldn't move another step forward Clarke fell to the ground drained of her strength. She didn't remember falling asleep, but it must have overtaken her quickly. Her regular nightmare filled her eyelids like motion picture she couldn't escape. It started the same as always with her lost in a sea of green.
She would find no real rest where her body lay.