The stegoceratops did not like being caged. She had been captured by a traveling carnival, which seemed twice familiar to her, and the second wave of familiarity was what she held onto, because it was different from the others. It described a truth that was more real than most of her fantasies, because it seemed to her that part of what she was trying to remember was not real, but written, which was real in a way but not quite the same thing. In any case, she was greeted by a man in a pointy hat, who gave her a shy wave.
"Hi, I'm Lowery the magician."
"Are you real?" she asked.
He blinked.
"Um . . . I'm not really allowed to say."
"Then you aren't," she reasoned, "I wish I had the power to deceive myself, because then I could care about you, but I know that I fabricated your image, and you are not actually here."
He coughed awkwardly.
"Speaking of illusions-"
"Yes, I know. Your employer has woven a web of magic to conceal the true nature of the animals in these cages. It's like prayer: you see the effects because you struggle to pull them from something that is ordinary outside of your expectations. They're all lies except for the Mozaraharpy. She's as real as I am, but only when compared to the other animals. And then there's the shadowy figure in the last cage. Elli. Or Ellie, I suppose. Not the real one. It's the darkness that separated from her when she-"
Lowery cleared his throat.
"Yeah, I get it. You know what's going on. But you shouldn't be figuring this out yourself, because . . . because nothing."
She narrowed her eyes.
"You're being dishonest. The truth is that I came here for a reason, and I've been trying to conceal that reason from myself because of something I was aware of before I made this illusion."
Lowery twisted his mouth.
"I'm gonna need a second to digest that sentence."
The stegoceratops paced in agitation.
"This doesn't make any sense. Why would I try to fool myself?" she asked half-rhetorically, though a part of her knew the answer.
"I don't know," Lowery stated.
"No, you wouldn't, would you?" she replied somewhat bitterly, "Might you leave for a moment, so I can think this through?"
He rolled his eyes and jogged away, leaving her all alone. She puzzled over this strange riddle, but came to no real conclusion. She'd have to continue her journey if she wanted answers, but for the time being, she was confined to this dreadful cart with dysprosium bars that burned her scales whenever she touched them. She forgot this fact when she saw a familiar person stepping down from the central caravan, and reached as far as she could, ignoring the seething pain.
"PENNY!" she cried.
The woman glared at her. She waved her arm helplessly, trying desperately to call her over.
"PENNY! IT'S ME!" she screamed.
She stormed over furiously, gnashing her teeth.
"You stupid beast. Don't you know that I'm the one who captured you?"
The stegoceratops had tears in her eyes.
"Penny, I know you're here too. I know you're real. Listen, Penny-"
"You have no right to call me that."
She bit her lower beak.
"Please . . . Let me go. We'll leave together."
She sneered.
"Why would I trust you when you're the one who sent me here in the first place?"
"Because I had no choice," she whispered, "It's been weighing on my conscience for years. Please, give me a chance to make things right."
She shook her head gently.
"Never. What you've done, not just to me, but to the others . . . you can't possibly hope to undo that."
Although the stegoceratops wasn't exactly sure what she was talking about, she knew how to respond.
"I'm here to try."
"And you will fail."
She pulled her arm back from the bars.
"I'm sorry. I know you won't change your mind right now, but I'll wait for you. I'm here to save the stegoceratops. All of them."
She shot her a hateful glare.
"That's not who I am anymore, and as for you, you can never be one of them. This is all your fault. All of it."
"Which is why I have to set things right," she affirmed, "Release me and tell me where I can find the Red Bull."
"It's not a Bull, it's a Boar, and it's not a Boar, it's an Entelodon. He works for the bull, who is not red. And you're not a unicorn, in case you've made that mistake as well."
"It's all the same. You know what I mean."
The woman turned away.
"I'm keeping you here. You've done enough damage already. The only way you can come close to repenting is by letting yourself stay trapped in this abysmal place forever."
"You know I can't do that," she gulped, "There are two others here who are waiting for me to reunite with them. Then I can find the stegoceratops and bring them home."
"You are destined to fail."
"That's never stopped me before."
The woman scoffed.
"Even if you somehow manage to free them- which you won't- that won't be enough to erase the pain you've caused. The past will not be changed by one act of kindness."
"But the future will," she whispered, "I swear, Penny, I'll come back for you, though I wish you'd trust me now and join me in the search for my people."
"They're not your people. They never will be. And you will die here."
"I'm not afraid."
"Then you're a fool."
And with that, she left.
The stegoceratops had never felt so alone.