A/N: Hope everyone had an awesome Halloween! :) Thanks for the reviews! :)
Fake Conclusions
Gibbs had tried to work on his boat a bit but had to realize that it was no use. He felt like he was having a hangover of the worst kind. How had he fooled himself into believing that only just because he said no that Tony would accept it without protest? He was feeling stupid and kind of put down and he didn't even know why exactly. He hadn't texted Tony back because he simply didn't know what to say. He was sure that he didn't want things to change but then again Tony seemed to be intent on doing exactly that. They were at an impasse and Gibbs knew it. He didn't know how he could possibly steer them into the right direction again, but he figured there was nothing he could be doing about that right now.
So he had resigned to reading the paper in the kitchen. He was engrossed in an article about the discovery of two dead prostitutes just outside of DC when he was raised from his reading by a loud knock on his door. He didn't bother getting up, knowing that his visitors always found their way into the house. He was slightly startled, though, when he watched Tony walk in, his glance steely-eyed as he sat down across from him. He was wearing a suit that fit him like a glove and his skin was practically glowing. Only after a moment did Gibbs realize that he was probably wearing make-up. He'd given autographs the whole day after all. It wasn't his appearance, though, that startled Gibbs the most, but the almost shy and indecisive look on the other man's face.
Neither man spoke for a long time; they just stared at each other as if trying to challenge the other one to start speaking first. Nobody did though. Gibbs wasn't quite sure why the man had come over if he didn't want to talk. He had expected him to justify his actions or at least explain his thoughts to him, but there was nothing. It seemed like Tony expected him to start. But Gibbs didn't want to. He hadn't done anything. What was he supposed to say anyway? That the kiss had been no big deal? But that would have been bullshit.
So they just sat there, staring at each other until Tony finally cleared his throat and then pulled out a DVD case from a pocket of his coat. He held it up and then finally spoke.
"You still want to watch my movie? I've got a copy from the company. It's not been officially released on DVD yet."
"Yeah," Gibbs nodded.
"You do have a DVD player, right?" Tony asked after he had walked into the living room and had looked at Gibbs' old TV.
"Yeah, it's still in the package, though. Abby got me one for my last birthday."
He went over to the cabinet and pulled it out. He handed it to Tony who had it unpacked and hooked up in no time. He plopped in the DVD and then settled on the couch, not sparing Gibbs even one glance. The older man stood there for a few seconds, trying to decide whether he should address the elephant in the room after all but then decided against it. He was sure that Tony would succumb to the silence before him. He'd just wait him out.
"Beer?" he said instead and then went back to the kitchen when Tony nodded.
They settled into a rather electric silence when the movie started, but despite his better instincts Gibbs found himself engrossed in it after a few minutes. The plot was engaging and the acting very believable. While Tony had called most of his movies dumb action flicks, this one seemed to have a bit more depth and Gibbs realized that he really liked it. What he liked even more were Tony's remarks about a couple of scenes after he had realized that Gibbs did indeed enjoy it. It was almost as if they were back in the car watching 'Butch Cassidy'.
It was easy again. It was like that goddamn kiss hadn't happened.
When the movie finished, Tony stretched himself and let out a yawn. Gibbs chanced a glance at his watch and realized that it was only eight o'clock. He didn't know what to offer the other man for the rest of the evening. While his mind had settled down somewhat in the course of the movie, his nerves apparently hadn't because he once more felt at a loss of words and he wanted the movie to have never ended. But of course it had and now Tony was staring right back at him, a crooked smile on his face.
"So…," he slowly said, his eyes meeting Gibbs'. "What would you do if I wasn't here?"
"I don't know," Gibbs shrugged, pinching the bridge of his nose. "I'd probably work on the boat a bit."
"Boat?" Tony checked back and Gibbs could see the curiosity in the other man's eyes.
"Yeah, got one in the basement. Want to see it?"
Tony nodded, all but sprang up from the couch and then waited for Gibbs to lead the way. Once downstairs, the younger man looked around for a moment before he looked at Gibbs again, raising an eyebrow. Gibbs could only just suppress a grin, knowing what would follow.
"How do you get it out of here?"
"You'll find out once it's finished."
Tony gave him a speculative look at that but remained silent as he carefully ran a hand over the wooden beams of the boat.
"You did this all on your own?" he then said, awe clearly perceivable.
"Yup. By hand, too. It's the process that counts."
"Awesome," Tony just said.
Gibbs nodded and then picked up a sander and started to work on the boat. He knew that he was probably rude, but if Tony wanted to help, he would just do it. Once more, silence ensued but this time it was a much more comfortable one. For a little while Gibbs could even forget about the reason for the tangible tension between them as he was losing himself in the movements of running the sander up and down the wood. He felt Tony's glance on him the whole time but it seemed like he was only interested in his work for the time being.
"You got anything to drink down here?" the younger man asked after a while.
"There's bourbon on the top shelf to your left," he answered without looking up.
He heard Tony shuffle and retrieve the bottle. "You got glasses, too?"
"Just empty one of the jars. That'll do."
"Gross," Tony answered, but Gibbs immediately knew that he didn't really feel that way because he heard a couple of nails fall on the work bench and then the drink being poured. "Even grosser," Tony continued after he had taken a sip. "How do you drink that stuff?"
"You get used to it," Gibbs just shrugged, glad that he was working with his back towards Tony, so that he couldn't see the grin on his face.
It took a couple of minutes until Tony spoke again and while Gibbs had found the silence a bit discomforting again, he wished the younger man hadn't spoken when he heard the words.
"You enjoyed yourself, right?"
"What do you mean?" Gibbs asked, never stopping the sanding and never even looking at the guy.
"The times you've spent with me, I mean."
"Yeah," Gibbs shrugged. "Sure."
"And you liked what we were doing."
This time, Gibbs didn't answer, but he was sure that Tony knew he had liked it, even without seeing the man's face. He just kept on sanding, hoping that Tony would interpret his silence as his way of telling him not to follow through with his line of thinking. He didn't do him the favor, though. Of course not, he never had after all.
"And you like spending time with me, too." This time, Tony didn't even wait for an answer and just continued. "And you like me."
For a second or two, Gibbs stopped working after all before he continued sanding. He was sure, though, that Tony had seen his hesitation. Of course, he liked the guy. One would have to be blind not to see that. Strangely enough, Tony still seemed to need an answer to his question.
"Otherwise you wouldn't have spent so much time with me, right?"
"Yeah," Gibbs finally said, letting out a sigh.
Tony fell silent for a minute or two and just when Gibbs' mind had relaxed again, had lulled him into a sense of security that Tony had stopped asking these goddamned questions, the younger man cleared his throat and he suddenly sounded much closer than before. When spoke again, it was barely above a whisper but still loud enough for Gibbs to hear him over the creaking of the wood.
"And you liked the kiss."
Once again, Gibbs didn't answer, but this time he had stopped sanding, even if he still didn't turn around. He had never even thought about it. Had he liked the kiss? He had been so shocked by the kiss itself and its implications that he had never asked himself the question. With a sinking heart, he realized that he hadn't been entirely grossed out about it.
"Thought so," Tony continued and Gibbs could now feel his breath on his neck as he had apparently stepped even closer. "So, what seems to be the problem with it?"
When Gibbs didn't answer, Tony let out sigh which all but tickled Gibbs' neck. He didn't turn around though. He was sure that he wouldn't like Tony's expression. He couldn't look at him because if he did, he would lose the last of his dignity.
"I didn't take you for a homophobe."
"I'm not," Gibbs pressed out through gritted teeth. God, he hated the guy.
"So what's the problem? I like you," now Tony was really whispering and it somehow unnerved Gibbs to no end. "And you like me. You like spending time with me and we tell each other things. I can tell you don't talk about the important stuff with a lot of people. And you also liked the kiss."
He stopped again and Gibbs could feel Tony's breath somewhere right underneath his ear. He could smell the lingering scent of his aftershave and something that reminded him of hazelnut. Before he could determine where that came from, though, he felt Tony step forwards. If he moved any closer now, Gibbs' back would be flush against the other man's body. But they somehow still didn't touch. The only thing Gibbs was really feeling was his own racing heartbeat.
"And you say you're not homophobic. So what seems to be your issue, Leroy Jethro Gibbs?"
Gibbs gulped and then set down the sander which he had been gripping so tightly that his knuckles had already turned white. He couldn't concentrate, couldn't think straight with Tony being so close to him and yet the younger man expected him to answer. Taking a deep breath, he finally did him the favor.
"Because you're a guy."
There, he had said it and yet relief wouldn't settle in. Nor did Tony step away from him. What was he playing at? Wasn't this statement enough for him to understand that Gibbs didn't want things to change? Just when he wanted to elaborate, and he was almost sure he could do it, his cellphone started to ring.
Letting his chin drop towards his chest, he reached for the pocket of his jeans, feeling Tony step away from him. He instantly felt a little bit colder at the motion, but decided to ignore it as he answered the phone.
"What?"
"Um," McGee's stutter was to be heard on the other end. "Sorry to interrupt, Boss, but we've got a case."
"We're not even on call, McGee," Gibbs almost barked.
"I know that, B-Boss. But Balboa and Greaves' teams have been called out, too. So it's our turn."
"Meet me at the Navy Yard in 30 minutes," Gibbs ordered, finally having regained some of his inner balance. "And call Kate, Abby and Ducky."
With that he ended the call, not bothering to say bye to the probie. He rubbed a hand over his face and then finally turned away from the boat, only to find Tony standing there, leaning against the work bench, nursing another jar of bourbon.
"I've got to head out. New case," he explained.
"Figured," Tony nodded, smiling crookedly before emptying his drink with one big gulp. "I'll see you later then."
With that and without another glance at Gibbs, he jogged up the stairs. Gibbs stared after him, wondering what that was all about before he got moving, too. While at times Tony seemed so easy to read, it was times like these that made Gibbs doubt his people reading skills. He just didn't understand the guy. He had told him that he didn't like him like that and the man was still smiling at him. What was that all about?
#
A couple of hours later, Gibbs found himself making his way down towards Abby's lab, yawning widely. It was almost three o'clock in the morning and it was at that very moment that Gibbs wished he hadn't been drinking until early morning the day before. He was about ready to lie down and fall asleep immediately if he'd get the chance.
When he entered the lab, he saw Kate and Abby huddled around one of Abby's computers, giggling quietly.
"What have you got?" he asked, grinning ever so slightly when his voice startled both of the women.
Abby turned around, engaging him in a hug before she turned around. For a second, Gibbs was able to see a couple of photos of Tony DiNozzo with both Abby and Kate. The three of them were smiling broadly at the camera and even though Gibbs knew Tony's smile to be fake, his eyes did seem like he had enjoyed himself, too. Funny, how the man could be fake and sincere at the same time…
"You met him, huh?" he asked, not knowing why he even bothered, but blaming it on being tired.
"It was awesome, Gibbs," Abby jumped right in. "He was such a sweetheart, I'm telling you. He seemed a bit distracted at first and kept on texting in between taking photos and signing pictures and stuff, which at first I found a bit arrogant, but then we realized that he was actually smiling every time he did so. Seemed kind of cute. So we're guessing he's been texting a girl he really likes. Which is good because the media has been chasing him about that model girlfriend he had a while back…"
Gibbs let her ramble on, not really paying attention anymore. Had Tony really been smiling whenever he had texted him, even though he had basically told him that he didn't want him? Did the other guy really like him like that? He felt his heart beat a bit faster again and he suddenly shivered ever so slightly when he remembered Tony's breath on his neck.
Goddammit.