A/N: Thanks for your reviews!

Fake Women

They closed the case by lunchtime on Sunday as Ducky determined the death to be a suicide. It was times like these that Gibbs hated the job. They'd run around all night, trying to find leads and suspects only to realize that they wouldn't have needed to. It was part of the job, he knew that, but it still irritated him from time to time. He could have spent the night in the basement, working on his boat instead. But would he really have done that? He was sure that Tony wouldn't have left until they'd talked things out. Whatever he thought these things were. Maybe getting called into work hadn't been all that bad considering. Gibbs subtly shook his head as he wrote the last sentence of his report. At least he'd still have an afternoon for himself.

McGee and Kate had already left and Gibbs was about to shut down his computer when Abby came into the squad room.

"What are you still doing here?" he asked, putting on his jacket.

"Had to do some cleaning down in the lab."

"You don't have anything else to do on a Sunday?"

"Ah," Abby just waved it off. "It needed to be done. Plus, I kind of made Kate a collage of our Comic-Con pictures for her birthday next week. And I needed my quiet for that."

Storing away the information about Kate's birthday away for later use, Gibbs nodded as he accompanied Abby to the elevators.

"You want to come visit the nuns with me?" she asked. "They haven't seen you in ages."

"Yeah," Gibbs said rubbing the back of his neck. "Can't today."

"I get it," Abby replied, raising an eyebrow. "You want to meet up with whoever you're texting all the time, right?"

"What?" Gibbs checked back irritated.

"Oh, you know what I'm talking about," Abby grinned. "You don't need to tell me anything. I'm just happy you're happy."

"Abby, there's no one," Gibbs replied, suddenly feeling a bit anxious without really knowing why.

"You keep telling yourself that, no problem," Abby grinned and then skipped out of the elevator, waving at him.

Gibbs stood there for a moment, shaking his head, wondering when he had become that obvious. That particular train of thought made his heart skip a beat. Obvious about what? He didn't have a special someone. There was no new woman in his life. That's because Tony isn't a woman, a voice in the back of his mind made itself perceivable, but Gibbs wouldn't listen. Not this time. It was just plain stupid to think stuff like that. Just when he climbed into his truck, he felt his phone vibrate in the pocket of his pants. It was a new message and Gibbs didn't need to check the number to know that it was Tony.

We need to talk.

I know. Gibbs wrote back, feeling his insides freeze at the mere thought of having to let Tony go. Case is closed. You want to come over to my place?

Can't leave my apartment. Too much press. Can you come over?

Gibbs furrowed his brow wondering how many journalists had had to be in front of Tony's apartment for him to give up his address. But then again, if the press knew where he lived, it couldn't entirely be a secret. After agreeing, Tony sent him his address and explained how to get into the apartment without being seen and Gibbs was on his way.

He parked his car where Tony had instructed him to and then entered the apartment building, desperately trying not to look out of place as he walked into the lobby from the backdoor. Immediately, there was a man, who couldn't have been older than twenty-five, approaching him to shake his hand.

"You must be Mr. Gibbs. I'm Andy, Tony's manager."

Gibbs shook his head, slightly startled at the enthusiastic greeting and at the same time slightly weirded out as to why Tony would ever hire someone like Andy to be his manager. He seemed to be that kind of guy that Tony hated. Young, hip and pretentious. Gibbs thought back to the couple of times that Tony had mentioned him and realized that Tony didn't really like him after all. He followed the young man into the elevator and then towards Tony's apartment door. Tony let him in and then Andy thankfully disappeared again.

Gibbs looked around the apartment and realized that while the building itself seemed a bit pompous, Tony's furnishing wasn't. His leather couch was comfy as Gibbs sat down, accepting the beer that Tony offered him. A huge TV was hung on the wall and Gibbs stared unblinkingly at the huge wall of DVDs that was to his left side. What surprised Gibbs even more, though, was the piano that stood on the other side. For a fleeting moment he had the strong urge to make Tony play a song, but then he remembered that the last person who had played for him had been Kelly and he didn't want to be distracted by his memories like that. He needed to focus on Tony before this thing between them got even more awkward.

"Hope Andy didn't annoy you too much," Tony raised him from his thoughts as he sat down next to him.

Gibbs just shrugged, not wanting to offend the other man.

"You hated him, didn't you?" Tony laughed, raising an eyebrow at him. "You can tell me."

"I…", Gibbs started unsure of what to say. "Don't know why you hired him? Doesn't seem like your kind of guy."

"He's not," Tony conceded. "He just… knows too much."

"About what?"

"Me?" Tony simply answered and Gibbs realized with a start that he probably didn't want to know. Not now anyway.

"Why is there so much press out there?" he finally said before taking another sip from his beer.

"You haven't heard?" Tony asked; his bubbly self from seconds ago having vanished, only to be replaced by a pensive version of him. Gibbs knew though that both of those Tonys were sincere.

"No?"

Tony got up, went into his kitchen and returned with three newspapers in his hand. He handed them over to Gibbs who took them with a frown. He opened them and then drew back his head when he read the headline.

I'm carrying Tony DiNozzo's child!

Underneath it was a photograph of a beautiful woman in her twenties and an article about it but before Gibbs could read it, Tony jumped in.

"She claims that we had sex half a year ago and that she's pregnant with my child."

"You know her?" Gibbs asked, seeing the slight insecurity in the other man's eyes. He didn't know what to make of it though. He was sure, however, that Tony would step up to his responsibility if the kid really was his.

"Yeah," he nodded, rubbing a hand over his face. "She was at a movie premiere in LA. She was like really forward. And trust me she really wanted to hook up with me. But I… we didn't."

"How come these magazines believe her? It's not like the have proof."

"It never matters," Tony sighed, shaking his head. "But you believe me?"

Gibbs didn't answer immediately, instead looked at Tony who was staring right back at him with such vulnerability on his face that he had to hold himself back from giving him a hug. Of course, he did believe him. He had never lied to him before and only just looking into those green eyes was enough for Gibbs to know that he wasn't playing games like that.

"Of course," he said shrugging. "But it's not okay that this lady and the press are lying like that. Can't you do anything about it?"

"My lawyer's already on it. But I don't think I can avoid taking a paternity test once the kid's born. They'd never leave me alone."

"This sucks."

"You tell me about it. I swear I wouldn't ever have become an actor if I had known how bad it can get. I mean, I knew that fame is a double-edged sword but I didn't think that I'd never have a moment for myself."

Gibbs just nodded wondering just how many people he would have already shot if it were him. That brought a slight smile on his face which he tried to hide by taking another sip from his beer.

"Why do the vultures believe her anyway?"

"Because they want to. Any scandal sells well. Sex sells even better. Scandal combined with sex and the sales are going through the roof. They don't care that it might not even be true. It just doesn't matter. They claim it's true because there is one photo of her leaving the hotel I stayed at that night in the early morning hours. I had no idea she was there. I know I shouldn't worry about it too much. I mean I know the baby can't be mine and all but still…"

Gibbs nodded again as if he understood what he was going through. Once more he wanted to give the man next to him a hug, but he didn't know if he would even appreciate the sympathy. Why was he aching to touch the younger man anyway? He had never been a touchy-feely kind of person, not even with Shannon, so where did the need come from now?

"Can't you just tell them that she's lying?" he finally said, only to have to think of something else.

"Who would believe me? Hell, I wouldn't believe me either if I've read all the articles about me and who I was dating."

"That so?"

"Yeah. I doubt they'll believe me if I tell them that I haven't slept with a woman in over five years."

"You didn't?" Gibbs couldn't help but ask, even though he knew that he probably didn't want to know. "But all these women…"

"They were all a cover," Tony said, shaking his head, his green eyes suddenly fixed on Gibbs' blue ones. "Not really interested in women these days."

Gibbs gulped but felt unable to avert his eyes. God, this was exactly what he had wanted to avoid. But it seemed like Tony knew him too well even after only just two weeks together because he just kept him in place with a simple stare.

"Who are you interested in, then?" Gibbs asked foolishly, the words tumbling out of his mouth without his consent.

"You."

Sure, Gibbs had known before, hell, the guy had practically told him the night before in the basement but still, the words hit him like a lightning. Right until now he had fooled himself into believing that Tony was probably just playing with him but as he looked into his eyes now, he could only see sincerity in them. It suddenly unnerved him to no end. Before he could dwell on it for too long, though, Tony had continued to talk.

"I know you think you can't do this because I'm a guy," he said, his voice calm and quiet. "But can you give me an honest answer?"

Gibbs just nodded.

"If I were a woman, how long ago would you have kissed me?"

Gibbs blinked and wanted to laugh at the silliness of the question but then he really thought about it. He replayed his dates with Tony – and honestly, if he looked back at them now, they did seem like real dates, too – and then felt his heart miss a beat. Hell.

"Probably when you left my house that day after the rainstorm," he finally admitted grudgingly.

That brought a smile upon Tony's face but it vanished soon enough.

"Okay, so now that we've got that settled," he said wryly, "we can tackle your fear of kissing boys."

"I'm not afraid of kissing boys."

"I think you kind of are," Tony replied and then held up a hand when Gibbs opened his mouth to protest. "I'll give you the benefit of the doubt. You didn't know I was gay and if you did you probably wouldn't have let it go on as long as you did. I get it. But you still went out with me and I could tell that you enjoyed yourself. You even smiled from time to time and I can tell you don't do that often. All I want from you is to think about this thing if I were a woman. You already said that you would've kissed me. And I don't think you kiss any woman you meet. So you must like me, too. So what's the big holdup? Are you afraid that someone will challenge your manhood or something if they found out that you like me?"

"No," Gibbs answered, shaking his head before pinching the bridge of his nose. "That's not it."

"Then what is it?"

Gibbs remained silent for a few moments, trying to come up with the right words. He didn't want to hurt Tony because, well, he did like him. A lot. But it would never work. He knew it and Tony should know it, too. It wasn't just the guy thing, though. There were so many other things.

"Tony," he finally started, trying to get eye contact again and succeeding when Tony looked right back at him. "The thing is I don't do casual very good. This could never work."

"You're right," Tony replied, his eyes suddenly seeming cold.

Gibbs blinked once and twice and a third time. He knew he was right. This thing would never work. But why was Tony suddenly agreeing with him?

Gibbs didn't get it.