Chapter 16
It had been 3 days since Clarke left Octavia, Roan and Lincoln. She had kept moving for a full day before taking any rest. She had only gone half a day before she started hiding her tracks. She couldn't figure out if it was more so that bounty hunters couldn't find her or if it was so her friends couldn't.
She was glad she had picked up these skills from watching Roan. She remembered everything he did on their journey. Clarke briefly thought about how Octavia and Lincoln still found them until she realized that they were as shocked to find two people in the woods as Clarke was to see them. They thought they were tracking one person: they were tracking Clarke. Clarke shook her head; she had been the one leaving the trail. Roan had been covering his tracks not hers.
Clarke stopped to fill the new water canteen she had picked up at a small village. This was where she had bloodied her hair with elk blood to turn the rich blonde into a fake deep red. She traded for a second dagger and some dried and salted meat that could last on a journey. She had never travelled in this direction before, she didn't know exactly where she was. She had been so turned around with Roan that this area was all brand new.
Clarke ignored the pain in her leg. She had only rewrapped the blood soak bandage once so far. She needed to do it again, the wrap had begun to give off a smell. Clarke found a quiet spot on the out skirts of the village. She pulled up a new garment she had traded for and was glad as it had a hood on it. She put it on and swung the hood up and draped it loosely over her head so it hid some of her face. She slowly rewrapped her leg and tried to ignore the swelling and redness that she saw in the wound.
She stood up and braced herself against a tree as the pain of her movement hit her. She had to keep moving, she had to ignore everything in her body including her instincts that were telling her to stop. She marched forward. Moving forward was the only thing that was helping Clarke's mind not race these days.
Clarke hated when she had to stop moving. She hated when she had to stop to relieve herself, she hated when she couldn't ignore the sleep that kept closing her eyelids. She couldn't escape her nightmares so she fought sleep as hard she could. This was her battle.
Another day had passed and Clarke woke from her nightmare shakey and perspiring. She gulped down some water and had a bite to eat. A few moments later after gathering her gear she threw up what she had ate not long before. Wiping her mouth Clarke shook out the fog in her head and started walking again.
Today the walking did not drown out the voices in her head. She felt bitter, tired, weak, angry, sad…alone she admitted to herself. She walked on thinking about how she wished for sleep. A peaceful sleep one without dreams of murder, fear or death. How did I get here? Clarke wondered as she replayed the last 5 months in her head.
Everything hit her at once. All the death, blood, fear, feelings and responsibility crashed into her one by one. She felt sadness give way quickly to anger and she unconsciously balled her fists. I have to end this, the voice in her head said way more calm than how Clarke felt. You know how to end this, the voice continued.
Lexa's face popped into Clarke's head. You know who to blame, the voice prodded.
Clarke glared forward as her pace quickened ignoring the pain in her leg. She knew what to do.