Chapter 17:
"Commander," Octavia said with a nod. She stood in Lexa's throne room beside Indra in front of Lexa.
Lexa looked down at the girl from her seat on her throne. "Leave us" she commanded to the room with a flick of her wrist.
When they left Lexa quickly left her chair and stood in front of Octavia. "Well?" Lexa asked with all pretense of the commander dropped.
Octavia cleared her throat slightly taken back by the commander's dropped bravado. "We found her 3 days from here…"
Lexa nodded imploring her to continue silently.
"She was with a man," Octavia said and Lexa stiffened as Octavia continued, "Roan he said his name was." Lexa let out the breath she had been holding in. She let herself relax a bit, she was the one that sent Roan.
"And where is she now?" Lexa asked trying to sound impartial and failing.
Octavia looked to the floor. "She's gone," she said as she looked up to find Lexa's fallen face, worry etched across her beautiful features. "We had her when the Broadleaf clan attacked. The three of us held them off while Clarke escaped."
Lexa breathed in shakily and turned towards her throne. She tried to hide the pain and fear that crept throughout her body at the news.
"There's more," Octavia said.
Lexa rounded on her, "What is it?" she demanded a little more desperate than she had hoped.
Octavia backed up a step at the sudden rush forward, "She was struck by an arrow. She's injured. We tried to follow her after…but we lost her trail about half a day in."
Lexa looked away from her. What did that mean? Was she dead? Was she just laying low somewhere? Was she covering her tracks? There were so many possibilities that Lexa was beginning to panic. She tried to collect her thoughts along with herself.
She heard Octavia come a little closer, her voice was soft when she said "We'll find her Lexa. Bellamy is on a search party and so is Kane. Everyone is looking for her."
"That's the problem," Lexa shouted before pursing her lips and stopping herself. "I'm sorry Octavia, I know you're just trying to help."
Octavia nodded and remained quiet. Her eyes were filled with sadness. Lexa tried to ignore her stare. "Why is she doing this?" she found herself asking aloud. She no longer cared what Octavia thought. She was too overwhelmed at the moment to hide her genuine concern for Clarke. If anyone would understand Lexa's feelings it would be Octavia. After all, her and Lincoln had overcome so much already since they found each other. Lexa didn't tell her but their relationship gave her hope.
"Will you and Lincoln go back out and look for her?" Lexa asked quietly. It wasn't an order. It was a request. A request from Lexa - not the commander.
Octavia looked at Lexa as tears welled in her own eyes, nodding she replied "Of course." She hesitated before Lexa felt one of Ocatvia's small hands land on her shoulder, she felt a small squeeze of comfort and Octavia left the room.
Lexa's hand reached to where Octavia's had just been, she smiled weakly and turned to look out the balcony. She took a deep breath. She was satisfied to no longer have as much pain in her side as she did a few days ago. Her ribs were healing fast.
Lexa looked around on Polis before turning and heading to the door. She had to get out of the tower. She had to get out of her head. She had to get her mind off Clarke. She had every person she could trust looking for Clarke right now. She had to believe she'd turn up somewhere and safe. She just had to.
Lexa made her way out into the city, the people greeted her as she made her way through the crowds. She passed little stands selling food, goods and garments. She spoke to no one but gave small smiles to each person she passed. She heard chants of "Heda" as she walked the streets.
She came to the courtyard on the backside of the tower. She slowly walked its perimeter watching the activity in the courtyard. There were her nightbloods participating in combat training. The nightbloods that could potentially be chosen to carry Lexa's spirit when she died. The ones that could become the next commander. Lexa smiled a small sad smile as she made a silent wish let their reign be filled with peace.
She made her way around and stood beside Titus. He said nothing but did look to her. He was leaning on a wooden staff and watching her as she took in the view of the nightblood's training. They were paired up in twos taking whacks at trying to disarm the other. They watched for a few minutes before Titus made a motion to hand Lexa the staff. Lexa looked at him and shook her head.
"Commander, you still have your duties," he said to her.
Lexa shot a threatening look towards him, "I have not forgotten my duties to my people. You should remember your place Titus."
Titus dipped his head slightly, "I only wish to help." In a quieter voice he continued, "You need to get out of your head, let your instincts guide you again Heda. Train with your nightbloods and remember who you are." He thrust the staff in her direction and let go so that Lexa was forced to catch it before it fell. When Lexa looked up he was gone and headed out of the courtyard.
Trying to ignore the fact that Titus just made her feel like a small child Lexa tightened her grip on the staff and walked forward. "Aden," she called to a young blonde boy as he shuffled towards her. He stopped and bowed before readying his stance.
Lexa mimicked him. Aden struck and Lexa defended easily. He tried again and again to strike her. Lexa and him danced around the space as she parried his strikes. "Good Aden," she practically growled, impressed with the young man.
Now Lexa struck, and connected with his shin. The boy stumbled but remained on his feet, he countered and Lexa defended. In one motion she swung the staff again and struck his right hand, he dropped that hands hold on the staff and Lexa pinned it to the ground. When she made this motion she caught a glimpse out of the corner of her eye. She recognized the familiar face instantly, she blinked and the person was still there their eyes glued to Lexa's. A blow came to Lexa's cheek as Aden backhanded her.
"Enough." Lexa said loudly trying to look back to where the person was standing. She couldn't find the face now. Shaking her head she looked quickly at Aden, "well done Nightblood." She handed him her staff and headed towards the crowd.
Quickly Lexa wove through the street. She kept her eyes peeled searching for the face she saw. Looking left and right she kept walking at a rushed pace. She turned around and caught another glimpse of the face.
She'd recognize those blue eyes anywhere. "Clarke." She half breathed half whispered. She was sure it was her, she kept her eyes on her as she saw the hooded figure make its way deeper into the crowd. Lexa tried to ignore the voice in her head saying that the woman's hair was red not blonde. The one that told her it wasn't Clarke. She didn't want to believe it. She had to be sure.
Lexa walked for another hour bobbing and weaving through the crowd trying to catch up. Finally she saw a break in the crowd and she shot forward. "Clarke?" she said grabbing the person's shoulder and turning them on the spot.
"Heda!" the person exclaimed grabbing Lexa's hands and giving slight bows with her head. Lexa shook the woman off and turned around. She didn't understand. She could have sworn she was following Clarke. Was her mind playing tricks on her? Did her eyes betray her?
Lexa swallowed the hollow feeling inside her, sadness moving in to replace the excitement that Lexa had felt before trying to find Clarke. She stood there for a few moments before resigning herself to the fact that she wasn't there, that Clarke never had been there, that Lexa was alone.
She didn't remember starting to walk again but she found herself walking back through the crowded streets. Up and down the roads back towards the tower. She remained stuck in her head, this time not acknowledging the people saying hello to her.
She was closer to the tower when her mind trailed back to Clarke. Before she could think twice about her she felt herself being grabbed and violently pulled back into an alleyway as a knife's edge was brought to her throat.