Chapter 22:

Lexa couldn't believe what was happening at this moment. Here she was in Arkadia of all places, right inside the fence walking alongside Clarke Griffin. In fact, she had spent the entire night previous in bed with her clutching her hand while they slept. When she had woken up she found that she had curled herself into the sky girl with her arm slung around Clarke and her head resting on Clarkes. Lexa was surprised to find that Clarke was already awake and still holding onto her as well. This had made butterflies fly in her stomach and they still hadn't stopped fluttering.

As the two of them walked further into the grounds the warm sun hit them both illuminating the two powerful women. Lexa took deep breathes in letting the cool morning air fill her up. She would glance at Clarke now and then to watch the sun dance off her blonde hair. Lexa watched as the breeze would pull it back from her neck and ever so gently place it back when it waned.

She found herself smiling for the first time in ages. She couldn't remember the last time she really smiled, really had a reason to smile. She glanced at Clarke again thinking. She tried not to overanalyze the situation but her brain just wouldn't let her take it for what it was: a peaceful moment. She began to wonder silly things like what they were doing, what Clarke was feeling about Lexa, if Clarke also had goose bumps when they touched, if she too had butterflies in her stomach. Lexa shook her head. Foolish girl, she thought to herself. Clarke had hated Lexa, so much so that she put a knife to her throat. Lexa reached up and placed her hand on the cut she left. There is no way she loves you…the voice in her head said before it added not yet.

A small smile crept across to Lexa's lips while she played with the scab on her neck. There it was again, all because of Clarke: hope.

"Hey," Lexa looked over to find Clarke looking at her questioningly, "you okay?"

Lexa lowered her hand and nodded once, "Yes, Clarke I am fine. Just thinking."

Clarke kept looking at her before she nodded and turned her face forward again. Lexa's lips twitched at the corners again, Clarke didn't press her, she didn't ask what she was thinking about, she understood Lexa more than Lexa understood herself it seemed at times. Lexa continued to walk with Clarke and sneak her little glances in. She was pleasantly surprised to find that every now and then she'd catch Clarke glancing in her direction as well.

They came to the right side of the camp where they found Raven working at a table with the machine components in front of her. "Hey! There you are! It's good to see your lazy ass out of bed," Raven greeted Clarke.

Clarke laughed and rolled her eyes. She sat down in front of Raven and Lexa remained standing unsure of what to do. Raven looked to Lexa, "Commander," she said with a wave of her hand gesturing to the chair beside Clarke. Lexa nodded and sat down.

"So what's new?" Raven said turning to Clarke again.

Clarke made a funny face, "Uh, nothing much…been unconscious for a bit, you know, the usual." She said casually smiling.

Raven laughed, "Girl, I hear that!" she agreed heartedly.

Lexa smiled. Not because she understood this little inside joke, but because Clarke was smiling. Clarke was LAUGHING. It was truly wonderful to see. Lexa never wanted to forget the sound. She wanted to remember every note it and replay it in her head over and over again until her spirit left her.

Clarke looked her way and flashed a brilliant smile. It took Lexa's breath away and she returned it.

As Raven began to ramble on about the goings on around the camp Lexa continued to observe Clarke. As much as Clarke had run away from her position as a leader of her people here she was asking all the right questions, getting all the right info she would need when she did in fact, have to retake her role as a leader. Lexa knew it would happen. Clarke was born for this, same as me. This world always forced people to be who they were whether it was a monster, a leader, a healer, a killer or a coward. They would all show their true colours eventually. It was just a matter of time.

As Lexa was lost in her thoughts a man came up to the table surrounded by his buddies and slammed a tankard down onto the table as he sat beside Raven.

"Oh look who's up and walking around!? Guess what? It's not my girlfriend! 'Cause she's dead, you killed her Clarke." he shouted angrily and spat while he did so. He was obviously drunk.

Lexa's hand flew to the dagger strapped to her thigh over the pants Clarke had given her. Clarke's hand shot out under the table and landed on Lexa's left thigh, this made Lexa freeze she looked away from the man and into Clarke's warning stare. Clarke shook her head slightly and Lexa relaxed, but only slightly. If he threatened Clarke in any way she was going to react.

Clarke kept her hand where it was as if she knew what Lexa was thinking. She cleared her throat awakwardly but before she could say anything Raven stood up, "Easy Jasper," she said laying a hand on his shoulder. "I think you've had enough, little early isn't it?" she asked making a reach for the tankard.

Jasper jerked away and stood up, he swayed as he did so. "No? Not if you're still drunk from last night."

Raven put her hand on his shoulder again, "come on buddy, let's go." She gestured to Monty who had been watching the scene unfold. He nodded and came to help her guide stumbling Jasper away from Clarke. Lexa turned to Clarke as she watched Clarke watch them walk away. Her smile was gone, her face had fallen and the colour had drained from her cheeks. Lexa instinctively reached down and found Clarke's hand and gave it a squeeze.

"He's right," she whispered, "she helped us in the mountain and I killed her… I killed them all." Lexa could see the tears welling in her eyes and she heard the sorrow in her voice. Lexa knew the sound well: it was the same she'd been expressing in her own voice since that night.

"You did what you had to," Lexa said quietly. "It's not easy to betray the people that helped you…the people you care about…" Lexa paused letting Clarke know she too shared Clarke's burden and pain, "but those are the hard choices you must deal with as a leader. You must make the hard choices…for the good of our people."

Clarke looked at Lexa at the phrase our people. She saw Clarke understand her words and interpret their meaning; she watched as they sunk in and washed over her. They were the same. They had both been put in positions of power, by purpose or accident, for better or worse, there they were. Clarke nodded slowly, "Does it ever get any easier?"

Lexa took a deep breath before starting her next sentence, "No, but our actions do not define us Clarke. You are not Wanheda. You're Clarke Griffin, leader of Skaikru. You are a myth and a legend: the girl that fell from the sky and saved her people. Not once, but several times. You did what you had to do each time even when all of the options were terrible. You did what you had to do at the mountain to save them," Lexa gestured with a wave towards Clarke's people. "They are here because of you. I cannot let you forget that. They live because of you."

Clarke stayed silent for a bit taking in what Lexa had said. "Victory stands on the back of sacrifice," Clarke said slowly turning slightly to look at Lexa.

Lexa nodded and gave her a small smile, "Are you mocking me?"

Clarke smiled and cocked her eyebrow, "with my strong mind?" She asked reminding Lexa of her own statement to Clarke during their first run in with the Pauna "mockery's not the product of a strong mind Clarke."

Lexa smiled, there she is. She was happy to see Clarke coming back to life again. She was deathly afraid that Jasper's outburst was going to send Clarke reeling again.

Clarke took a breath and stood up, "Come on, let's get out of here I need some air."

Lexa stood up, "We're outside Clarke."

Clarke smiled and flashed her a playful warning glare, "No, I need outside these walls."

Lexa nodded and followed Clarke out towards the gate. The men opened it and the girls walked out towards the tree line.