A/N: Thanks for the reviews! :)

Free Falling

Gibbs let out a sigh and just enjoyed the touch for a second. He desperately wanted to believe they could make it and when he felt Tony's hot breath against his cheek, he felt his own resolve of denying him fade away. He brought one hand to Tony's cheek, carefully stroking it with his thumb. He heard the younger man let out a shuddering breath and then Gibbs closed his eyes. He could hear a car pass his house, could hear Tony's breathing and then he just didn't care anymore. He was done with everything – he just wanted to try.

He closed the last remaining between their lips and felt Tony smile into their kiss. He knew he had done the right thing for once. And – he felt fine. Despite the anguish within him, despite the hole in his heart caused by Kelly and Shannon's deaths, he suddenly felt good – simply good. When they finally broke apart, Tony smiled even though the rest of him still seemed oddly beaten.

"I'm sorry," the younger man said. "I can't imagine what it must have felt like losing both of them at the same time."

"Yeah," Gibbs simply said, scrubbing a hand through his already wet hair. "Do you mind?" he then continued, pointing at the box still in Tony's hand.

He handed it to him and with one last regretful look at the ponies printed on it, Gibbs put the box back into the ground and was then slightly surprised when Tony picked up the spade and closed the hole again. Gibbs stared at the ground for a few moments, trying to collect his thoughts. Only when he felt Tony's presence next to him, did he shake his head ever so subtly and then turned around.

They walked back into the house in companionable silence and Gibbs felt tired all of a sudden, drained almost as if he had given too much of himself away and now he had nothing left to give anymore. With a start he realized that he had kind of given part of himself away. Away to Tony who had not only accepted it but had actually understood, too. His ex-wives had only ever offered their condolences and then never spoke of her again and while at times Gibbs was glad about it, it hadn't been what he had wanted. They had never understood that he hadn't let go of her and never would either. They had all expected him to move on, to forget that part of him. But one look into Tony's eyes and Gibbs was sure that he didn't think that way. One look into Tony's eyes and he knew that Tony was here to stay – if Gibbs let him.

He had taken Tony's hand some time on their way up the stairs and he only let go when they were already standing in the bedroom, staring intently at each other. Gibbs knew that he should probably say something, should talk to Tony about everything that was going on but as he looked at him, words suddenly failed him. Deep down, he knew that he didn't even have to. He had told the other man everything with the kiss outside in the snow. There was nothing left to say for the time being.

He felt his lips twitch in a probably sad attempt of a smile but Tony's eyes were suddenly so bright that he Gibbs knew he didn't need to try – to smile, to talk, to explain, to whatever. It had been enough. So Gibbs just closed the distance between them, grasping Tony's head with both hands and then kissed him thoroughly. Tony's arms had settled on Gibbs' hips, drawing them closer together. Their chests were flush against each other now and Gibbs could feel the younger man's heartbeat through the fabric of both their sweaters. Smiling into the kiss, Gibbs let his hands wander towards the back of Tony's neck, playing with the hair there.

He was so lost in the kiss that his mind refused to properly catch up with what was happening until Tony moved, kicking off his shoes. Gibbs hadn't been exactly cold before but he suddenly felt heat spread within him when Tony let go of him and broke their kiss for a moment to pull his own sweater over his head. The t-shirt underneath had stayed on but only for a moment. Tony stripped it off and then dropped it to the floor. Gibbs just kept on staring at him, waiting for the fear to settle in but it simply wouldn't come. Tony was half-naked now, perfect and smiling at him. Asking.

Gibbs gave a short nod and Tony's smile broadened as he fumbled with his belt for a second before the buckle snapped open which made Gibbs' cock suddenly wake up and spring to life. Suddenly anticipation raged through him and he didn't even know where it had come from. Only minutes before he had been crushed, sad and exhausted. But one look at Tony's smile, at Tony's eyes that were telling him that he just understood,and he was feeling better.

Gibbs' glance wandered further south just in time to see Tony pull down his zipper and that was the thing that suddenly just made him stop caring. Fuck it, he wanted this. Wanted Tony and while a small part of him was still goddamn insecure about the whole thing, he really wanted it.

Tony seemed to know what had just happened to Gibbs because he smiled again and then pulled him closer and kissed him. Gibbs' breath hitched before he kissed him back with such intensity that it made his head spin and his body react hard. He gasped and dragged his own hands down Tony's body, grabbing his hips and pulling him up against him. He heard Tony groan and then almost hesitantly put a thigh between Gibbs'. Tony stood still for a moment as if he was waiting for Gibbs to protest but the older man wasn't entirely sure he even could. He gave a small grunt at the feel of Tony's cock against his own and Tony's hands tightened in his hair, his fingernails digging into his skin.

Tony pressed out a moan harshly when he tore his mouth from Gibbs' to suck on his neck. Gibbs groaned again and then stepped away from Tony just enough to get rid of his own sweater. He saw Tony smile again when he got rid of his own jeans so that he was standing in front of Gibbs in just his boxers. Gibbs took his cue and got rid of his pants, too and god, he hadn't realized just how hot the other man was until now. All he wanted to do was touch him. He moved closer again, pressing up against him, kissing him in earnest now. Tony responded enthusiastically, his hands drawing unknown circles on Gibbs's back.

They slowly moved towards the bed and Tony let out a surprised chuckle when the back of his knees hit the bed which made him fall onto it with Gibbs following close behind. Tony made room for the other man, so that they were both lying on their sides, looking at each other, their hands on the other's hip. Tony drew him closer once more. Their cocks were pressed up against each other again and Gibbs felt his own twitch almost violently as he realized that this wasn't hard at all. This was just natural and he had no idea why he had shied away from even thinking about sex with Tony. This was just right.

Tony kissed him again and then his hand which had been on his hip before moved further down, caressing Gibbs' thigh for a second or two before it grazed over Gibbs' cock. The older man opened his eyes and found himself staring into Tony's, mere inches away from him. He could see the slight hesitation in them, so he just kissed him, showing him that he was alright with it. Tony seemed to get the clue as his hand found its way under Gibbs' boxer shorts and Gibbs only just held back a shout as he gripped his cock. Hard. He then started to stroke it, first slowly and then faster, his grip tightening. He only let go for a few seconds to get rid of both Gibbs' and his own boxers and before the older man had even comprehended what was going on, Tony had taken hold of him again. Gibbs moaned when Tony shifted ever so slightly and then suddenly he had both their cocks in his hands and they were rubbing against each other and Gibbs desperately held on to Tony's shoulder to make sure he wouldn't lose it just like that.

God, this was so good.

He was starting to sweat now and when he tilted his head to kiss Tony again, he was mildly satisfied when Tony's kiss had gotten sloppy as he was breathing hard, unable to concentrate on it. Gibbs felt himself already losing control and he tried to keep himself in check but then Tony broke their kiss and shook his head.

"Don't," he whispered and it was the first thing either man had said since they had been standing outside in the garden.

The rough sound of Tony's voice made Gibbs stop pretending, made him stop holding back. He moaned loudly and when Tony's strokes suddenly became a bit uncoordinated, he realized that the younger man was just as gone as he was. Tony's palm was sweaty now, their combined pre-cum was dripping down and Gibbs' wasn't quite sure where he ended and Tony started.

The other man flicked his hand at the tips of their cocks and just like that the younger man cried out and he tensed up, pressure so insanely high and spilling over as he came. Gibbs was with him, right there, gasping, shaking and pressing into him as hard as he could.

And damn, this was a thing out of the movies. This just didn't happen in real life, not this kind of sharing, this kind of just getting there.

It just didn't. No way –

Except sometimes, sometimes it apparently did.

#

They had fallen asleep quickly afterwards, not even bothering to clean themselves up. Gibbs had woken up a couple of minutes before his alarm the next morning. He'd been tightly wrapped around Tony and he had felt regret hit him at full speed as he had gotten up, pressing a fleeting kiss on the younger man's temple. He hadn't woken up, so Gibbs had just proceeded to go to the bathroom and to get ready for work.

He had written him a short note and had then left for the Navy Yard, wishing he could just call in sick and spend more time with the sleeping man upstairs. He had driven to the headquarters on autopilot, still dwelling on last night's occurrences. He knew that he'd done the right thing, was damn glad about letting Tony in. He hadn't expected him to react that way, to just understand without even asking a question. It had felt right and just when he had parked the car in the garage he felt something inside of him resolve.

Maybe, just maybe, Tony was it.

The one he had needed to live again.

#

Half an hour later, Gibbs – still feeling a bit shell shocked at his own discoveries – walked into Abby's lab, a Caf!Pow in his hands. He wasn't quite sure what exactly he was doing there, but he knew he needed to do something. When Abby turned around to see who had just entered her empire, her eyes narrowed ever so slightly. Gibbs just gave her a crooked smile as he handed her the drink. He still didn't know what to say, so he just gave her a peck on the cheek and then simply whispered:

"Thanks."

Abby took a step backwards and really looked at him for the first time in weeks. It took her a couple of seconds but then Gibbs was able to see a broad smile spread on her face.

"You're welcome," she just said, nodding at him.

Gibbs smiled back and then turned around knowing that she had understood what he had tried to tell her.