I got my update schedule sorted! Tuesdays + Thursdays! Probably. Unless I forget.

UNDERTALE SPOILERS!

I don't own Undertale, by the way. Sucks to be me.

The cold wind whipped around me as I walked through the forest. Snow covered the ground and my breath hung in the air. The whole underground couldn't be this cold, could it? I mean, it wasn't like –

Crack.

Behind me, a twig snapped. I whirled around in surprise, to see a short, fat skeleton in a blue hoodie, black shorts and slippers. He seemed unsure as to what to do. Eventually, he held out his hand and grinned.

"hey. the name's sans. sans the skeleton."

His voice sounded familiar somehow. I reached out and shook his hand. It was a little unnerving; I could feel his joints clicking as he moved them.

"wow, buddy. you look… chilled to the bone?"

I sniggered, before realising, this was the guy Toriel was talking to through the door.

"come with me." He said. "you can rest up in our shed. just watch out for papyrus, my brother. he's been promised a position in the royal guard if he can bring in a human. ever since the first one died here, there's been a strictly no-human policy."

"What about you?" I asked.

"about me what?"

"Don't you want to capture me too?"

"nah. i don't really care about catching anybody." He sounded kind of tired, like he'd just woken up. "i'm pretty lazy, y'see."

Now here was someone I could relate to. While I was smart, I was also lazy and I've said before, I had a thing for bad humour.

"my house is pretty far, but that's okay. i know a shortcut."

He reached out with his left hand, and I took it. When I did so, the world around us faded to black. For several seconds, everything was dark and I considered mentioning that nothing was happening. Suddenly, the colour returned and we were standing in front of a small house.

"Did we…? How?"

"it's magic, kiddo. you should know all about it, being human."

"Humans can't do magic."

"really?"

"What else can you do?" I asked, still not sure if he was messing with me.

"oh, a ton. a skele-ton."

I groaned, disappointed that I'd been led into that joke so easily.

"come inside." He said, reaching into his pocket and pulling out the keys to the shed. He pushed them into the lock, turned the key and we stepped inside.

"It's really warm in here." I told him.

Along the centre of the room, there were five or six wooden pillars, with a few feet between them.

"What are these pillars for? Support?"

"nah. that's papyrus' human cage."

We sat down on some dog beds inside the human cage. Around us were empty boxes of dog food and a murky bowl of water.

"Earlier, when you found me in the woods, that could have been a perfect time for an introductory whoopee-cushion."

Sans laughed. It was good to have someone of a similar sense of humour to talk to.

"i think i'll sleep 'til morning. it's been a rough night."

"Didn't you say Papyrus would be looking for you?"

"huh?"

"Oh, nothing." SHIT! I wasn't meant to know that.

"knock knock."

"Who's there?" I asked.

doris.

Doris who?

doris locked, that's why i had to knock!

"doris."

Huh? He'd already told the joke, delivered the punchline and everything. I remembered it faintly, like a dream.

"Wait." I said. "Didn't you already tell this joke?"

"huh? no, i don't think so."

"No, you definitely did." I told him. "I said 'Doris who?' and you said 'Doris locked, that's why I had to knock!'"

"damn, you already heard that one?"

"No, I just had some weird deja-vu thing." I said.

Sans froze. "deja-vu?"

"Yeah, you know. When you think you remember something and it seems kinda familiar, but you can't put your finger on – "

"we need to go."

"What? Why?"

He looked back, his glowing white pupils gone. In their place, a burning blue one had appeared in his left eye socket.

"asriel is here."

"Go! Teleport us out of here or something!" I said.

The floorboards cracked and splintered, Asriel bursting from beneath them. His usual innocuous smile was replaced with a wide, toothy grin, which was somehow worse. His eyes were wide and furious. His petals and stem were clearly still damaged from Toriel's fire.

"Oh, no. You're coming with me."

Spooky flower cliffhanger! What's gonna happen? Does Purple die? Does Asriel die? Does Sans die? WHO KNOWS? :D

P.S: I know, and I'm not telling :D Not yet, anyway.