'Click'
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Summary: Story 12 -'Everything inside my body seemed to pulse, beat and twinge with awareness as he raised an eyebrow at my surprise, his demeanor mocking, smug and everything that radiated his usual confidence, the ease with which he carried himself.' Taniyama Mai muses over what love means...for both of them.
-MAI-
Voices...
"I think she's regaining consciousness."
Somebody had taken my brain out and replaced it with mush or – or jelly.
Concentrate. Breathe.
'Varying emotions in a latent psychic have both an advantage and a disadvantage.'
Where am I? Why does everything feel so hazy?
Concentrate...hold on.
'The advantage is that their perceptions to situations and relatively dormant instincts sharpen to a great extent, leaving the psychic with a wide range of talents in the paranormal field.'
"I think it's wearing off. Thank God, I thought that this would continue."
It's odd – my brain felt as if enveloped by something cold and my heart kept constricting in a pleasant way. Everything around me seemed to be swimming, my concentration kept on slipping and all I can do to fight back the fog is recall what 'The Book' says about psychic's finding themselves in such situations – all I remember is that this state is often caused when a psychic's mentality is shaken.
The only sane thing I can hold onto are the paragraphs from the 'Book' – so I mumble the words again and again, word for word, each sentence exactly as it had been penned down by him.
'While this may seem as a harmless yet helpful ability, it leaves a distinct tumult in the indicated emotions – as a result, a wide range of contradictory symptoms such as insomnia, drowsiness, frustration etc. may occur unless the psychic is properly trained to control themselves.'
Tumult of emotions – heh.
Geez, I swear that guy knows more about me than anyone else; so much that it scared me – so much that it hurt; but the fog started to clear so I focused my thoughts on him; knowing that my feelings would break through the unconsciousness.
It was Madoka's idea – she said that repeating the same paragraphs from the 'Book' will help me focus on situations at hand and would control my haywire instincts, I had thought that she had been joking but she threatened to tell Naru that I had failed my English test again, spectacularly...so I had to do it. I couldn't give him the satisfaction of knowing that I was slipping in 'the depths of dumbness' after his departure.
Concentrate – clear the fog, relax, breathe, recall.
"She's mumbling God knows what. Call Noll for me, will you..."
Noll...
I've heard this before but somehow the words scatter in my mind and I force myself to concentrate on recalling the paragraphs – if I could control the haze by forcing it out then everything would be easier to figure out.
'Untrained psychics are in danger of attracting low level spirits if they hold the ability to channel them, unless the state of mind is highly controlled and the instincts are not mixed with any errant emotion'
What was I trying to figure out anyway?
I could feel my fingers as I clenched them, my toes wiggled in response as I struggled to open my eyes but they refused, partly because the fog felt so good, it made me feel as if there was nothing that could go wrong...as if the world was following my whims.
I felt strangely relaxed – triumphant even...and I can't remember anything else than having floated in this fog for my whole life.
Strange.
I tried to move my hands so I could try to sit up but they feel so numb despite the exercise I've been giving them – eventually all I could do was force my eyelids to open. I expected light to flood my senses when I peeked through one of my eyes but surprisingly, I'm encased in monochrome.
Everything around me is black and white; the ceiling is black with white carvings, the walls are white and the curtains in the room are black fabric. There's a soft pillow under my head so I snuggled into it, feeling so warm that all I wanted to do was remain in this bed for a little while longer, unmoving, sleeping, dreaming.
The whole point is that it's not my bed, which is too bad I guess since this is so comfortable.
If it's not mine, then...
As if to increase my confusion, a slight smell floats in the air and I know; even through the bog in my mind I know who the scent of Earl Gray, old books and expensive soap belongs to…
Naru…
Suddenly, my numb senses opened like floodgates and I wish they hadn't because with consciousness came acute awareness, memories and everything that had been protected by the haze. The scent lingers it's torture on me and rattles my thinking capability so much that I willingly surrender to hiding my face in the pillow and inhaling as if knowing it was my last chance to ever be this near to the illusion that I was near Naru.
Even when I'm floating in half-consciousness, I can't stop thinking about that guy which is downright lovelorn attitude.
Geez...
Even when I know that I'm being kidnapped, I'm thinking of him – honestly, what am I thinking about, this is pure idiocy, am I not supposed to be moving on from him? Though now that I think about it; what was there to move on from, even I can't fool myself into thinking that it was a rejection – he asked me a question to which I cried instead of answering.
I can't blame him at all…he did ask, though he had no sense of tact whatsoever. That narcissist.
Wait – wasn't I kidnapped? Or was that an illusion.
One thing is for sure, I wouldn't go as far as calling Naru my boyfriend – even in my wildest dreams.
It was reality…
And then the haze evaporated into thin air and the memories and emotions hit me like a truck.
Reality kicks me back towards consciousness.
Oh my gosh!
I'm not in my bed...
I'm not in my room...
Not in my house...
Not in Japan.
I'd been abducted! Truly.
And everything falls back into piece – the last piece of the puzzle being a pair of eyes and not simple eyes at that...
Hauntingly blue eyes, sharp and unyielding.
Naru...
So I screamed.
This is real…
This can't be happening to me! I can't be in England with a bunch of people who I've never met!
I want to die, right now…God, please let a hole appear so I can dissolve gratefully in the earth – please, just let things go according to my wish, I promise…I promise that I won't kill any more cockroaches in my toilet. I swear…..just…
"That boy," Martin shook his head, taking off his reading spectacles. "That boy was one step from rasing poltergeists. He paced the floor and we all know that he never paces."
I was kidnapped, I was drugged and Naru was 'radiating murder' as Luella put it – then when he found me, he carried me (bridal style!) up to his room and had commanded everyone to take strict care of me.
I was struggling to control the heat and color that is currently making its way to my face.
No.
But no matter what I tell myself, all that has happened is too incredible to believe; Luella Davis sat near me, stroking my forehead as she recounted all that had happened in the past hours – though I know that she's editing some parts. I don't believe I'm admitting this but…yeah, being Naru's assistant taught me to differentiate between people who told the truth, lied blatantly or hid information.
Luella belongs to the third category.
"He was worried sick, Mai." Her eyes shone with tears and I held her hand, squeezing it. "It pained me so much to see him writhing in misery and knowing that I had done it. Kidnapped you, I mean."
Luella has no sense of guilt….but that just makes her more lovable.
On another note; writhing? And Naru…It's an image that makes me want to laugh loudly.
Apparently she believed that my absence was the cause of Naru being so moody and brooding. Ha! Really? Come on, Naru has always been moody and grumpy – as his mother, shouldn't Luella know as much?
Wait a minute – could it be possible that Naru has been grumpy just in front of us at Japan? Because right now as I watched his mismatched family, I knew that they were anything but grumbling, moody people, which means that Naru must have felt a misfit with them.
Didn't it get lonely for him when he couldn't adjust?
Holy cow...
I can't believe myself, insert mental slap on both cheeks, I was kidnapped and I am thinking about him?
Stop right there!
"I – I don't believe he was that worried; and even if he was, that must be due to the fact that I was his assistant and something l-like that."
I dreaded facing Naru now, when I realized that I said some real stupid (yet true) things to him when drugged. Eii! What would he be thinking of me – he must be revolted by my confessions. Of all stupid things to ever say! How am I ever going to face him after this episode?!
This is the peak of embarrassment.
Oh man…
"And he looked so relieved when he found out that you were safe." Naru's fifteen year old cousin, Emmy, sighed and then fiddled with her fingers. "It's so obvious that he is in love. Pathetic."
"And he punched me in the jaw." Another cousin, Julian, jabbed a finger to his jaw where a bruise was emerging. "That man is gone for you, Miss Taniyama and apparently he's decided to kill us for what – just a harmless kidnapping and a drug here and there! Unbelievable."
All eyes turned to Julian and Luella glared ferociously.
"You hit an innocent priest in the head! Noll was right to punch you!"
"What?! Aunt Luella, this plan belonged to you – just because you're his mother you get out of it unscathed! Unfair."
"Control your tongue, boy, believe me when I say that you're ugly enough with that bruise on one side of your face. Don't provoke me to have Noll mutilate the other side as well."
Their little spat was interrupted when a maid poked her head in the doorway and nervously cleared her throat.
"Young Master Davis wants to see Miss Taniyama in his study – no other person allowed, under his specific instructions."
I thought about faking a little fainting scene but I've been told that I'm a terrible actress so all I can do is sigh while my insides decided to vanish into thin air at the mere prospect of seeing Naru. Alone. Without anything to hide my red, blushing face; has he changed after so much time, has he become colder or has the ice melted? What would he say to me and what would I say without weakening myself? There are so much things between us that I never spoke about, so much thoughts about him that I've never voiced – will he…
It's useless – I can't even feign that I don't love him anymore, it's so obvious that I have feelings for him but I don't want them to be broken by his cross-questioning and yet I keep hoping for more.
I'm hopeless.
Is it so stupid to hope that he accepts me?
Yes.
Is it so idiotic to wish that he might need me as I need him?
Yes.
Is it so irrational that I tumbled headlong into love with him while he thinks I love his dead brother?
Yes, yes and yes to all my maudlin question except him accepting me, that would be a flat no.
I wish I could curl up with his sheets wrapped around me and cry to my heart's extent. I was so damnably stupid to start weeping when he expected an answer from me, I was such an idiot when I never tried to stop him, when I never made a move because I was scared.
Fear eats at your vein, like some poison until reality is all you see.
It ate at me until I came to know that I loved Naru, completely.
Does fear chase Naru too…more importantly will I ever come close to knowing them?
I guess not.
The people around me started leaving the room until only Martin and Luella remained beside me. Martin took a chair at one side while Luella adjusted herself next to me, facing me, with her hand on my forehead.
And then she hugged me.
The dam broke and I cried.
Eleven years. It's been eleven years since I cried on anyone's shoulder, it's been eleven years since my mom's death and after that I just didn't want to rely on anyone that much. Well, until SPR came into the scene – my family, those people who I could always turn to no matter what, a boss whom I trusted with simply everything. I was so shocked when I heard that he was going away that it took all my strength not to beg him to stay – though he left SPR in Madoka's care it felt so strange to be commanded by her, it felt so strange when I had always taken Naru for granted, foolishly thinking that he would always be there.
I hugged Luella tighter and told her everything that came to my mind, words just tumbled out, how I love Naru and how he probably must hate me by now, how SPR was everything to me, how sad I was that I never came to know Naru, never came to understand him like a friend. How he questioned whether I was substituting him with Gene, how insecure he was, how he needed a friend and how I needed him, to be there, mocking me, demanding, saving me and trusting me.
"He probably hates me by now – I told him that I loved him when I was…drugged and he must have thought –"
Luella patted me on the back and smoothed my hair.
"Mai, dear. I'm surprised that you don't understand Noll's feelings on the subject when you recognize your own."
Huh? I wipe my tears roughly with the back of my hand.
"He loves you too Mai. He has never experienced it towards another person like this so he has difficulty coping with it. He's confused because he isn't used to receiving such emotions. He's never been in such a position, he doesn't understand its mechanics."
I know. Kami-sama, I know!
"I know," I sniffed and bowed my head. "It's just that I don't want him to hurt by himself, I'm not worried about myself."
Both Luella and Martin blinked at me as if trying to absorb my statement.
"If he would just tell me, wouldn't it be easier? I know that he doesn't want to be hurt so he keeps his walls standing but isn't that bound to hurt him more? I just want to show him that things don't have to be like this, that he could change just a little in his way."
"He can't be Gene." Martin turned his head away. "Mai, he won't be easy to handle, he won't smile, he won't fulfill your romantic dreams. If that's what you're looking for – it won't be in him."
I smiled fondly, reminiscing – I know him in that aspect and that was why I loved him. That and everything else.
"I know, if I wanted a person like Gene, I could have loved, say – Yasu or any guy from school. I thought I wanted that – you know, the smiles and the hearts and flowers but no, something else matters in this…"
Something that I only see in Naru. Something only he has.
"Childhood wasn't easy for Noll." Luella wiped a stray tear with the back of her hand. "He wasn't so composed back then and one or two times he got into a fight that was disastrous. His opponents were bullies who got to him due to his reticence."
"He never fit," Martin frowned and sighed. "It was hard for him but Lin greatly handled the situation. That was why we had Noll homeschooled, though Gene was opposed to the idea initially, seeing that he loved school but he agreed to stay home in the end."
"Oh," My voice stuck in my throat like a lump.
It isn't possible but I think I just fell for him a little bit more; he - he must have worked so hard to accomplish all this, bullies can be torturing, I know...
Odd, my heart started doing some flippy movements.
And suddenly the earth tilted on its axis because a monotone voice broke through our conversation, destroying the medulla inside my brain.
"Really, Mai." He leaned in the doorway, arms crossed and his whole profile hidden by the dark. "I called you to my study ten minutes ago. It seems as if you still haven't grown accustomed to punctuality, in my absence."
He took a step forward and I scurried away, my back clanging with the bed's headboard – everything seemed to be crashing around me, a scene of chaos in my mind, my voice never leaving my throat but I wasn't scared.
Look at him, Mai.
Face your fear...face the rejection, now.
His footsteps echoed around me until he came to stand at the foot of the bed, his eyes never leaving mine, his gaze holding me until I'm a shriveling leaf under his scrutiny – through the rampage in my mind, I spotted Luella and Martin quietly leaving the room, shutting the door behind us.
Everything inside my body seemed to pulse, beat and twinge with awareness as he raised an eyebrow at my surprise, his demeanor mocking, smug and everything that radiated his usual confidence, the ease with which he carried himself.
"You're late."
Time is slipping away with audible ticks from the clock, filling the silence that etched in the room.
Naru stood with his back to me, facing a window while I sat huddled, the covers held up to my face as if that could somehow postpone this conversation. There's barely a sound in the room, save for the ticks of the clock and my breathing. Looking at Naru, it doesn't seem that he's likely to converse with me anytime sooner so I focus on breathing and repeating the words of the 'Book' to regain my scattered concentration.
Face rejection, Mai...
"Mai." His drawl shook me and I instantly looked up to see that he hadn't even faced me while speaking. "Don't mumble, it's hampering my thinking process."
I harrumphed despite the blush on my face and chose not to reply. Arrogant jerk! He took my issued sounds as the answer.
"At least I have a thinking process." He still hadn't faced me, though that only strengthened his condescension. "Now, stop sounding like a dying fish."
Deja-vu...we always end up in the oddest conversations...
Dying fish my –
And then I understood, he was trying to find a way into normal conversation and this was as close to the one we usually have. Aw, Naru – I know this is difficult for you but don't force yourself, let me talk, you should probably just hear.
"You know," I found my voice and then lowered the covers from my face. "If you want to start a conversation with me you should look for a…mild beginning. Insulting me isn't really helping to set the mood."
It could have been my vivid, hyperactive imagination or a snippet from my la-la-la land but he swiftly turned his head and threw a smirk in my direction.
The covers instantly went back to my face as I hid my burning face behind them – I empathize with Masako now, so that's why she uses that kimono sleeve…
He looked at me pointedly and that one look told me that this conversation was now coming down to the important point.
The point we've both been trying to evade.
"You said to Martin and Luella that you didn't want a person like Gene or Yasu." Naru's muse shakes my thoughts and I look up at him, watching his hand on the window sill, tightening. "The debatable thing is why you wouldn't want them. Normal people don't usually reject perfect packages."
What was that idiot implying – for all his narcissism can't he see that he is a perfect package too?
"Are you indicating that I'm normal?" I wanted to be coy with him, just for this once. "Surely you haven't lost brain cells?"
Another smirk ensued.
"Compared to me, you live the life of a simpleton and no – my brain cells are still functioning, your presence has not affected me yet."
I ceased being a simpleton or whatever when he stepped into my life and got me into the unusual yet highly cool job of hunting ghosts, I ceased being a simpleton ever since I had my first encounter with him – if he wants this conversation to be about who-has-the-most-pathetic-life; I'm not sure either of us will win.
If I didn't love him, I'd strangle him and laugh viciously when his body would be dragged to the gallows but since he holds my affection, he's forgiven.
I think that drug had side-effects; boldness and an urge to flirt.
"Actually you know." I bit my lip and then faced him, watching the sunlight splayed across his face. "You're an arrogant jerk."
"Hmm…" He turned over his shoulder. "You didn't answer what I asked. Why not want a perfect package?"
"Well, I did want a perfect package." I nodded slowly. "You're stupid to think if I didn't."
"You're not going to get a perfect package in me."
Sheesh, that guy is so sensitive about himself, what should I do to make him see that I love him along with his perfection and imperfection?!
"I figured as much Naru." I sighed, huddling my knees. "Am I forcing you to smile or laugh or act like you're in love with me? No."
His demeanor displays confusion but he shows no hint of it.
"I hate women."
"No, you just hate things you don't understand."
"There's not much difference." Then he sighed as if this conversation was a waste of his energy. "We're talking in circles."
"Well! That's because you're insulting me, you idiot." When did conversing with him get so much fun yet round like a circle, one of those odd conversations where no one scores. "So, why are we having this conversation, again?"
"I want you to clear something." He frowns, one of his hands going in the pocket. "Your key –"
"Oh, that – well I –"
"You gave me an answer Mai, I asked Madoka to interpret the Kanji." He turned to face me and for the first time after nearly eight months, I get the chance to properly observe him. "Though I expect an explanation for your answer."
He's nearly eighteen.
Don't look at his eyes!
He had the profile of an aristocrat, lean and intimidating with the sign of a frown ever tilting his lips, the firm jaw and flawless skin that women would murder for, then came those sapphire eyes tinted by sunlight.
Not his eyes, Mai – you'll drown.
Sapphire eyes tinted by sunlight with blank and grey swirls in them and...
"Don't gawk."
Moment shattered with one word as I tear my gaze away from the cobalt depths ad focus on other things in the room; what a beautiful color is painted on that wall, purely, utterly black, ahaha, beautiful really…
"It's black, Mai." Exasperated, Naru took the chair on which Martin had sat on, gracefully sinking in it. "Stop staring at the wall as if it's a masterpiece."
"I need a distraction, Naru." I sighed, pouting. "Staring at your eyes while I'm trying to be serious isn't helping."
Be ashamed of yourself! You're flirting like a wanton!
And then he smiled – a slow, spreading smile that tilted one corner of his mouth upward and I fear that I might suffer angina.
I didn't die…though if I did, it would be rather pleasant.
Breathe Mai.
"I don't know how to explain this." I stand up, pushing the covers back and walk to the window where he was previously standing, inhaling a bout of fresh hair. "Yes, Gene has the kindest of smiles and he takes most of my pain away but there's no fun in loving him – we don't have funny conversations, he doesn't push me to my best, he never demands that I make tea, he smiles at everybody so it feels common when he does, the crush over him is temporary and it's too sweet."
"Ideal. Isn't that the sort of story every women wants?"
He's listening to me.
"And he's dead – he respects me but you do more, you trust me, you smile for me because sure as hell no one else is on the receiving end of it, you often talk to me but you are closed too and that makes you challenging. Better, exhilarating. You save me, you trust me, you respect me, you smile just because I say something dysfunctional and there you are at the end of every nightmare, holding a cup of tea. Who should I love more?"
He gave me a wary glance, hesitant and cautious as if analyzing all I have said. It was a look that didn't usually cloud his eyes but its apparent today, that cracking tension in the room.
This wasn't going as I wanted it…but then life never had.
"The key meant as an answer – you shouldn't really challenge it if one person says that they love you; accept it or reject it but don't challenge anybody's feelings Naru. That's rule one…"
Rule one to being tactful – an area where Naru lacked when it was concerned with emotions.
"I don't particularly like the fact that one person should make me so confused. I don't like things that don't follow a pattern."
"Really? I thought you liked a challenge?"
"I don't. Specifically when I know that it's a lost battle."
Lost battle, he's referring to love as chess or a game where one side wins and one side loses – the idiot scientist…there's no hope in making him understand unless he sees for herself. So – lost battle it is then…
"If you think that you're going to win at every step then you're an idiot – a bigger one than you are now…one day your pride will seem nothing, losing will mean nothing."
There's a stifling silence that came after my sentence – slowly, Naru looked up at me and then shot me a pointed look, expressionless but I know there's a meaning to it.
"What will you do till I learn that lesson." The words were measured as if he had thought them over. "What will you do until then?"
I suck a breath and then pull myself tall, gazing straight at him.
"I guess I'll wait." I turned to him, slowly smiling my signature one, hoping to have some effect on him. "I'll wait till you realize that the person you love is above your pride and can hold it too…"
Another session of quietness all around us.
Abruptly, he stood up and then starts his way towards me – towering over me with his hand on the wall beside my head.
He made sure that we were on an even level, even when he had to lean down a bit. What was I expecting from him – some intense confession or some kind of endearment that I'll probably never get or – or – ?
I can feel his presence surround me but I'm trembling too much and my eyes are wide….and oh man, I'm probably even blushing furiously.
He gazed at me evenly and then the silence descended upon the two of us until he breathes the word out.
"Thank you."
My eyes widen more and I'm sure my knees would fail to hold my weight any moment so I put my hands against the window sill.
"Why?"
The confusion in his eyes is replaced by a strange sort of peace and there are no creases in his forehead. Though he doesn't answer nor does he let me move away and for a whole minute we just stand and gaze at each other until I decide to break the crushing quiet.
"I'm – Naru – can you tell me something?"
He nodded slowly as if still in some other world.
Entranced...?
"Do you have a copy of your book 'The Phenomenon Of The Psychic's Mind'?"
He raised an eyebrow at my odd request but listens anyway and moves to the drawer chest to look for the book – he found it and then handed it to me.
I flipped through the book and found the page which I wanted him to look at. It said 'Acknowledgements':
To M,
She was a valuable subject on which I could test my thesis.
Perhaps, this book couldn't be complete without her 'instincts'.
His eyes widened a bit but the expression remains controlled.
"I know every paragraph of this book. I use it to increase my concentration but just tell me this, does this M person refer to me, did you dedicate this book to me?"
He looked away, clearing his throat before he turned to me again and then nodded subtly.
"I conducted most of my experiments on you –"
"Without me knowing -?" I smirked and then rolled my eyes.
"So I thought it was appropriate to dedicate this book to you."
We both nodded at the same time and then I guessed that it was over for now so I turned around to move out of the room but his voice stopped me.
"My probable guess is that I'm surprised at being chosen by someone like you – It astonishes me to no extent, the second thought is the opposite nature we possess; I don't know how it would end."
"It doesn't really matter when you're in love, Naru…its bound to hurt at one point or another but it can be good too, you're free and you can tell someone else about all your thoughts. Don't fear it."
"I don't want to be the same kicked, lost, pathetic person I was when Gene died. I hated the pity the people gave me, I don't want consolations."
It hits me like lightening.
"You want a 'forever'?" I gasped, shocked but not quite as if some part of me knew this. "You want something in a permanent state, don't you?"
He winced inaudibly.
"When you phrase it like that – I'm not sure I like it but yes, that is the general thought."
"I can't promise you a 'forever' Naru, of all we know; you might get tired of me and might dump me."
He made a sound that sounded like something between an irritated sigh or a scoff.
And then I did something completely humiliating (I blame that drug), I bent down and pinched his cheeks and then threw my arms around his neck, taking him by surprise.
"You're adorable when you talk with me so openly!"
"Mai." He warned quietly. "I think you're still under the drug. Surely I don't need to remind you of some embarrassing things you said to me back then."
I know he's smirking.
I tried not to get indignant at that.
"Okay, okay – just give me a moment, I won't disturb you again!"
He huffed impatiently as if I was missing some crucial point.
"We're alone in the same room and I'm sure my cousins are not having pure thoughts about it so I suggest we hurry outside."
I squealed in embarrassment and then bit my lip, suppressing the urge to say anything stupid so I made a bee-line for the door with Naru close behind me.
Really?
Although Naru wasn't really wrong about his cousins; as soon as the door opened we realized that they were trying to eaves drop on our conversation and as soon as we exited, they all scattered and started chatting as if they hadn't been doing anything.
"Well that was fast." Richard whistled and Naru shot him a sharp gaze.
"Refrain from saying stupid things."
"Hey, we honestly thought you were going to take more time with your girlfriend." Julian put in.
Suddenly, I found the carpet more interesting…
"Whoa! Chill Noll, she said it herself…"
I scratched the back of my neck as I felt Naru's gaze stalking all movements.
"We were – just looking out for weird sounds." Janet put in, her eyes innocently wide. "What - ? Don't stare at me, Julian said that!"
The temperature dropped and Naru's death glare cut through each of his relative.
"She meant to say the screaming and shouting of a brawl – we," Julian made a placating gesture with his hands as I covered my cheeks. "We know how harsh Noll used to get during his young age."
"Julian." Naru's words were gritted out of his teeth.
"What? It was a positively innocent thought, dear cousin." He made a wagging motion with his cousin. "Absolutely pure. You, however Noll, have a gutter for a mind. Positively diseased."
"Get out of my house or I'll have the grey hounds set after you."
"I am familiar with your hospitality and much wounded – "
"Julian…out."
"I hope you marry Mai, she'll set you to the rights…"
"Out."
And although I didn't really learn much about Naru in that one, freakish day I spent with the Davis' family and neither did Naru confess to me but I'm contented and glad. Contented because I know Naru's worst fears and he seemed to trust me more and glad that he's asked for time and hasn't outright rejected me.
Though I'll keep hoping for more; because when I see the future I will behold, I don't want it to be one without Naru's constant companionship. And though I know it will never be a happily ever after and we'll end up in lover's tiff usually but it will be a forever.
A forever I only want with Naru. Him alone and no one else.
We're flying back to Japan, me, John (with a bandaged head), Naru and Lin and Monk has been told that I'm alright and safe – though with all his howling on the phone I knew that he had been worried for me; it made me so warm inside knowing that people care for me that much – so I didn't let Naru deal with him and took matters into my hand. Thankfully.
Luella insisted that I stay but as usual Naru stamped on the idea and exerted his usual authority by telling his mother in many polysyllabic words and round about expressions that he wanted to go to Japan, immediately. For once, Luella nodded and then took me to shopping, returning me to the house at midnight; much to Naru's agitation.
He still thinks that I'll be abducted if he doesn't take care...
And here I am now, in the private jet, next to Naru who's asleep with his black leather-bound book in his lap.
I sighed and then wistfully smiled, humming under my breath.
I'll wait for Naru's reply no matter how much time it takes because I want him to realize it himself without Luella taking extreme measures or Martin trying to force it out or me confessing. Better let him realize it himself and if he ever confesses, I'll make sure to have it on tape to show people. Look here, this is the time when Oliver Davis finally met the woman who could make his life worthwhile!
I can only hope that the woman is me…
At the end of the day, I leave England with no regrets, no worries, no heart-felt emotions except a heart that flips whenever Naru comes into view.
At the end – I'll wait with the promise of a forever after…love reciprocated one day.
I'll wait until the 'lost battle' isn't as lost as it seems to him now…
Author's Diary:
Hey everyone, did you miss me? I hope you did because I'm back in full writing spirits. I hope you enjoyed the chapter and no, I didn't have them together just like this, somehow it doesn't really feel right to have them together as teens. I don't know if I messed up with characterization but I sure as hell did my best so...you're the judge.
Thanks to all those who reviewed on my other story 'Contrast' and also to those who remembered my b-day. Love and cookies for all :) :D Have a piece of my birthday cake, everyone. And do pray for me, I have a result coming up in five days. O Levels about to end for me, I just hope that I get some great scores.
Recently I got addicted to historical romance especially the 'Spindle Cove series' by Tessa Dare - they're lovely! Has anyone read them? Anyways that's enough talk for now. Bye~
Leave a review. Hang on for the grand epilogue!
-borntoflyhigh-