I have placed some images on my tumblr that inspired me while writing this chapter. They can be found at sophiabee dot tumblr dot com.
When Blair tells Dan she's going to wear black for their wedding, he counters that he'll plan to wear plaid then, and Blair almost throws the bridal magazine she's leafing through at him.
Dan doesn't leave Paris and go back to California. He tells Blair as they are lying in bed, his fingers tracing across her collarbone, that there is nothing left in California for him as long as she's here. She needs to be in Paris to run Waldorf Designs and he can write from anywhere. Blair has her designer start working on converting the guest room into an office. She asks what he's going to do with his house in Laguna Beach and Dan says he might sell it, and Blair asks him not too.
"I love that house," she says, and she's sad thinking of someone else living there, "so many good memories."
Dan says he'll hang onto it for now and he calls Eric, who is living in Southern California as well and asks if he wants to house-sit for a while, and Eric gives an enthusiastic 'yes' and well as his congratulations. Blair tells him she wants to make more memories there, and they could vacation there, and maybe someday go their with their kids.
"Kids?" Dan's eyebrow goes up with Blair's words. She blushes and apologizes for leaping into a subject he might not be ready for and Dan grabs her hand and squeezes it.
"I want kids, Blair." he says. She breathes a sigh of relief and imagines chubby little dark-haired beauties running around on the beach, and Blair likes how her future has taken a sudden turn, that she can see something besides work ahead of her. Until Dan walked back into her life she would never have thought about kids, her only charge being her business, but now she can actually see them becoming parents.
"I think you'll have to be the house-husband then," Blair says, laughing a little. "or is it stay-at-home dad?"
Blair has been raised by people other than her parents, and as much as she loves Dorota, she doesn't want her own kids raised by strangers. Dan has talked about doing things in the right way when it came to their relationship and Blair wants to do things in the right way when it comes to their future family.
Dan tells her he'll do whatever works for their family. Blair likes to hear the word family coming from Dan.
They decide on a late Spring wedding, sandwiched between fashion shows, and Dan has a script due around that time, but they think they can squeeze in getting married on a Saturday in June. Blair is lying stretched out on the couch and Dan is sitting on the floor reading and she is playing absently with his hair and interrupting him until he tells her that he's read the same sentence about five times over, and Blair declares that might be a hint that it's time to put down his book and pay attention to her.
"We could do it here." Blair says. Her loft has a courtyard, with high white walls, and it would fit a small party of people. It could be decorated with flowers and lights.
"Or we could go back to Laguna Beach." Dan counters, and Blair imagines the beach at sunset and they would both be barefoot and they would declare their love to the rhythm of the ocean. Both options sound nice.
In the end they decide on New York. Most of their friends and family are still there, and Dan points out that they should begin anew where they began fifteen years ago. Blair agrees, and then she claps her hands together in delight when she realizes something else.
"Do you know that it will be almost a year since Serena's wedding when we get married?"
Dan tilts his head up and gazes at her, and Blair knows that he's mentally calculating how many months its been and how many more until their wedding, and then he smiles.
"Why, yes it will be. Funny how things work out."
Blair plays with her engagement ring and thinks about how much has changed in such a short period of time. After she and Chuck had divorced Blair's life had settled into a kind of monotony of fashion lines, runway shows, store openings, the months and years blending together until she could never pinpoint any specific period of time. Now she can say, 'in the spring, when we ran into each other again. In the summer, when we were in Laguna Beach. In the fall, when the leaves on the trees in Paris turned.' Her life has context that wasn't there before. It has Dan in it.
"I love you, Blair Waldorf," Dan says and Blair is jerked out of her thoughts. He has this habit of doing this, of telling her that he loves her out of the blue, unnerving her, and it makes her blush.
Her gown will be Vera Wang, dark like a raven's wing, taffeta and tulle, flowing out from Blair's tiny waist. Dan again asks why black, and Blair reminds him that while this is his first marriage, it's actually her third, and she wants it to be something different this time. Otherwise it feels like just another repeated moment, and this time she's going to do things differently, in all aspects. So the gown will be black, and she won't have any attendants, and Dan again threatens to wear plaid, and Blair tells him that as long as he matches her, he can do whatever he wants.
She's had her very own weddings. Two times. This time it belongs to both of them, and she wants it to feel that way. So if Dan wants to wear plaid, she gives him permission. And she's going to showcase her pale skin against a black dress and her dark hair will be down and flowing over her shoulders, and she might have some flowers in her hair, and Blair is actually excited about the event.
She's getting married.
Winter comes. There is snow on the ground and Blair stares out the window of her loft, watching it fall. Dan is in his office, clicking away on his computer, working on a script or his book, she's not sure. The night sky is pinkish and heavy with clouds, and the snow on the ground is making the night glow, and Blair is happy.
Blair jumps a little when she feels Dan's arms slip around her waist, then she smiles and his lips are kissing the back of her neck and she's leaning back against him.
"Done for the night?" she asks.
"For now." Dan answers, placing another kiss on the back her neck and Blair feels herself shiver, and she's always amazed how quickly her desire for him can build up.
They have settled into some sort of domestic bliss. Blair wakes every morning to Dan in the kitchen and he shoves coffee into her hand as she dashes out the door to the car waiting downstairs. He works into the night, sitting in a pool of light, writing out stories and characters, and Blair reads on the couch. They sleep tangled up with each other, Blair loving the feel of Dan holding her in his arms as she falls asleep. They fuck.
"Four more months." Dan murmurs and Blair spins her engagement ring around her finger as they both stare at the snowflakes that are starting to fall from the sky.
There are flowers to decide on and the caterer, and Dan surprises Blair by insisting they have dancing. Her wedding to Louie had been over the top, a grand event with a million details coordinated by everyone else but Blair, and her wedding to Chuck had been quick, almost no details. Blair is enjoying the details this time.
"We got the Frick." she tells Dan, and Blair had almost jumped up and down when the wedding planner, aka Dorota, had called her that afternoon and told her the news. Blair couldn't think of a more wonderful place for them to get married.
"Hmmmmmm." Dan murmurs and he his pulling down the shoulder of her pajama top and kissing the skin there and Blair can't think to ask him if he wants to go with ranunculus or anemones, and gasps at his touch. "Say 'hi' to Dorota for me."
"I don't know how she does it, how did she get the Frick on such short notice." Blair manages to get out before she sucks in her breath and closes her eyes.
"Polish intelligence?" Dan says, nipping at her skin with his teeth. Blair laughs. It might not be far from the truth.
"Humphrey, how I supposed to get anything done if you keep doing this." This meaning, driving all semblance of coherent thought from her head by touching her, kissing her, making her crazy with wanting him. She's starting to think she has an impulse control problem when it comes to Dan Humphrey.
"You're not." he says mischievously. "I am simply doing my duty to distract you and drive you wild."
"Ha." Blair says, feeling her insides tighten with his touch. Then he's spinning her around and kissing her, and wedding planning flies out the window as he picks her up and walks toward the bedroom still kissing her.
Early spring comes to Paris and on warm days Dan packs a picnic lunch and they sit on a blanket in the middle of the Square du Vert-Glalant, Blair nibbling on grapes and brie, Dan putting a throw over her legs when she shivers from the still slightly chilly weather and pouring her another cup of Earl Grey tea. The planning is done, the invitations are sent, and in two months they will head to New York.
"What about a honeymoon." Dan asks, biting into a piece of cheese. Blair sighs. She's had too many honeymoons and in a way she wants to skip the formality this time.
"I have to get back for the show." she says, "and you're always in the middle of a script."
Dan looks over at her and she can tell that he knows she is hesitant, that there is more than just work holding her back.
"Rome this summer?" he asks. Blair remembers that Rome is what took him away from her all those years ago. Well, Rome and her choosing Chuck, and the craziness of youth. "I know the city well."
Blair thinks about it. She loves Italy. Rome is beautiful. It would be nice to make an entirely new memory, and good one.
"Alright Humphrey," she answers. "Rome in the summer."
They go out to readings and galleries on evenings that Blair isn't working late and Dan isn't writing, and then they talk into the night, and Blair thinks that a lifetime of this, with this man by her side, is not a bad thing. She tells him this, and Dan wraps his arms around her and tells her that he's so glad they found each other again.
They will say vows to each other soon, stand in front of friends and family and ask them to be part of their union, commit in front of the world. But they are saying their vows to each other every day, in their touches and glances, with their words, with their bodies. They are weaving a tapestry of love that is strong yet yielding, unbreakable but flexible, and Blair thinks that if it took fifteen years, two marriages, a lot of tears and heartbreak to get here, to this place, maybe it was worth it.
Late April rolls in with rain showers and budding leaves, and Dan and Blair pack their bags, check their boarding passes. It's time to head to New York. They'll be there a week early, with Blair needing alterations to her dress and what feels like a million last minute details. There won't be any rehearsal dinners, bachelor parties or bridal showers. Neither of them want that. Just the wedding, their friends and family, and each other.
Serena emails and says she can't wait to see them, and she's tired all the time from being pregnant, and would Dan and Blair consider being godparents. Blair tells Dan, who says he'd love to do that, then answers Serena with an enthusiastic 'yes'. She never would have dreamed a year ago when she headed to Serena's wedding that she'd be asked to be anyone's godparent. Or that she'd be getting married herself.
The flight is long and Blair sleeps with her head on Dan's shoulder, her book on her lap, dog-eared where she'd left off before letting her eyelids droop down. He holds her hand in his lap, rubbing her knuckles with his thumb. They are both tired when they arrive at JFK and a car is waiting to take them to the penthouse.
Blair is struck by nostalgia when she arrives, like every time she stays at the penthouse, but this time she's remembering Dan in the foyer, coffee in hand, and the way her heart had felt like it was going to burst as she kissed his cheek. Now the penthouse had memories of them.
Dorota hugs her the moment she steps off the elevator, holding Blair tightly, rocking her back and forth, and she feels like she's twelve again and has skinned her knee and her loyal maid is comforting her in the way her mother never did.
"Miss Blair, getting married." Dorota says, her face glowing. She turns to Dan and gives him just as big of a hug and Dan's eyes widen in surprise then he hugs her back. "to Mr. Dan."
Blair laughs. She thinks Dorota may have been rooting for them for a long time base on her reaction.
They leave their bags in the foyer and Dorota has prepared a snack of fruit and crackers that Blair devours. Airplane food is decidedly lacking. Then they head up the staircase to her room, Blair leading Dan, her hand in his. They undress and soon they are in Blair's bed, Blair's head resting on Dan's chest and she feels Dan laugh.
"What," she asks, tilting her head up to look at him.
"It's just been a long time since I've slept in your bed." Dan says, grinning. "It feels a little risque or something."
"We're not twenty one anymore," Blair reminds him, but she agrees. Being here takes her back to before, when spending the night felt like a big deal.
They fall asleep and before her eyes close, Blair thinks that it will be only one week before she's a married woman. Not Mrs. Dan Humphrey, and she's already told him that she won't be changing her name. Still, in her heart, she will forever belong to him and he will belong to her, whether or not they share a name.
One more week.
TBC