"Are you sure you got me the right address?"
Blair is standing on the sidewalk outside what appears to be some sort of night club. She's on the phone with Dorota who is reading off the street numbers for the fifth time. It's been a couple days since she arrived in New York and already Blair is feeling better. She'd never imagined that the place she had run away from so long ago, that she'd avoided because of too many memories, would actually bring some healing.
She's slept in, played with Gracie, stayed up late talking to Serena. Blair has enjoyed watching Nate come home and wrap his arms around his wife, placing a kiss on her neck and asking how her day had been. She is swaddled in the glow of domestic bliss and it has taken some of her pain away. Blair sat at the kitchen table as Serena smiled up at her husband, an interloper watching a stolen moment, and the way Serena's face had lit up had given Blair a glimpse of the future for the first time in what felt like a long time. She could have this too. It was waiting, just out of reach, and all she had to do was stretch a little and take it.
But she had one thing to do.
Dorota hadn't been able to find a phone number for Georgina but she had found an address for a business that was registered in her name and now Blair stood in front of an imposing shiny black building without any windows and just a door with some writing splashed across it.
"It's the right address, Miss Blair." Dorota said and Blair answered that she wasn't quite sure if she was really at the right place, then hung up the phone and walked towards the door. The writing on it was in gray lined with silver and Blair read it then smiled.
Sparkles
She had found the right place. Only Georgina would have a business name like that. Blair raised her fist and was about to knock when she heard a voice behind her, one she'd recognize anywhere.
"Well, well, well. If it isn't Blair Waldorf."
Blair turned to find Georgina Sparks standing in front of her. She doesn't look much different, although her face is a little tighter around the edges, the angles a little sharper and she has that look that so many older society ladies carry, the one where they look just a little too stretched and they discreetly slip you the card for their plastic surgeon when you comment on how wintering in St. Barts has done wonders for them.
Georgina's hair is still long, chestnut, falling in waves below her shoulders, expertly highlighted. She's wearing a fur coat and tight gold leggings with ridiculously high heels. She extends a hand to Blair and Blair sees that it's covered in gold rings, a plan gold bracelet dangling off her wrist. Blair takes Georgina's hand and sees that her nails are perfectly manicured and blood red. Georgina leans forward and her bright red lips land on Blair's cheek, kissing her like they're old friends. Blair wipes away the lipstick mark when Georgina pulls back.
"It's been a long time." Georgina purrs and she's graceful, almost feline. Their hands are still clasped together and Blair fights off the vague feeling of unease she gets from Georgina being this nice.
"It's been over 16 years." Blair says, thinking that the last time she saw Georgina she was trying to get out of her marriage to Louis and trying to figure out how she felt about Chuck and Dan was a mere blip on her radar, her loyal friend who never let her down.
"Yes." Georgina drawls, "Sixteen years. A long time."
"Is this your business?" Blair asks, glancing over at the door. Georgina smiles, her teeth blindingly white. Everything about Georgina is carefully cultivated, a shiny veneer she presents to the world.
"Yes, it is my business." she says, her smile widening, looking a little like the cat who had swallowed the canary. "Do you want to come in?"
Blair nods. She hasn't come all this way to walk away empty handed. Georgina drops Blair's hand and take her by the arm then walks to the door. She taps lightly on it and someone on the other side turns a few locks then opens it. A burly man sees Georgina and smiles.
"Hey Georgie!" he says. "Who's this, a new girl?"
Georgina laughs heartily and Blair feels like she's missing out on some sort of joke.
"That's rich, Bruno. No, not a new girl. An old friend."
Blair wants to remind Georgina that they were never friends, but now isn't the time to dig up old vendettas. They walk through the doorway into a dark entryway, then through another doorway into a large room. It's a club, full of plush chairs and small tables, the kind made to hold drinks and not much else. The edges are lined with booths receding into darkness, a huge crystal chandelier hangs from the ceiling and a bar lines one entire wall. In front of Blair is a huge stage and there are three poles that extend from the stage all the way up to the ceiling. Suddenly Blair realizes why Bruno was asking if she's a new girl and she blushes.
"Welcome to Sparkles," Georgina says, gesturing around the room.
Georgina asks if Blair wants a drink and Blair nods yes. She needs one after this. Georgina Sparks is the owner of a strip club. Georgina gestures to a woman behind the bar who nods back and pulls two glasses out, setting them on the counter with a loud clunk. Blair doesn't care what kind of cocktail she gets, as long as it's strong, because she's going to need it.
"A lot has changed," Georgina says, her eyes taking in Blair's surprised face.
"Uh, yeah." Blair agrees. They sit down at one of the tiny tables and Blair twists her hands in her lap. The woman at the bar brings over their drinks, leaning over Blair with her overblown cleavage, smiling at Georgina.
"Um, how?" Blair stammers and Georgina interrupts, saving Blair from having to ask how Georgina become some sort of madame.
"You want to know how Georgina Sparks became a gentleman's club maven? I guess I can tell you the story just to get it out of the way."
Georgina tells Blair it was a natural fit. Sparkles is a classy establishment with a private entrance, catering to the wealthy and famous of New York City, and everyone knew that if anyone could keep a secret, it would be Georgie Sparks. She'd asked Philip for a little money and he'd agreed, so she'd started her career.
"You wouldn't believe the secrets I get from this place," Georgina whispers to Blair. "It's a goldmine, and you know that my main trade has always been secrets. That's where the money is."
She has politicians and millionaires in her pocket now. She has power. Georgina Sparks has found her place in the world.
"So," Georgina looks pointedly at her. "What do you want Blair? I don't have a lot of time. The girls will start coming in soon and I'll have to get to work."
Blair doesn't know where to start. Everything is surreal.
"It's about Dan." Blair says. Georgina's eyebrows arch up in surprise.
"Humphrey?" she asks, "isn't he in California or New Mexico or something like that?"
Blair's heart hurts.
"Yes, he is, well, sort of."
"So? Is this some sort of twelve steps make amends moment or something? After all these years? Sorry I fucked you over and broke your heart."
Blair swallows.
"We got married in June."
Georgina's eyebrows go up and she laughs.
"Hell Blair, you managed to get that past even me. You and Dan, huh? What about Chuck?"
"We've been divorced for a long time."
Georgina doesn't look surprised. She taps her red nails on the black lacquered table top, clicking them one by one.
"So, why do you need me."
Blair swallows. She feels her words stick in her throat but she pushes them out.
"I hurt him. Not now, but a long time ago, and I don't know how to make it better, and I thought..."
Georgina's eyes narrow, her red lips part and one word comes out.
"Rome."
"Yes," Blair says, choking back a small sob. She will not do this. She will not break down in front of Georgina Sparks. She'll keep it together and wait until she reaches the town car before she lets herself cry.
Rome
"That was fucked up. He was fucked up."
"I need to know." Blair says softly.
"It was a long time ago," Georgina says, looking past Blair, toward the wall, but Blair knows she's seeing Rome and Dan fifteen years ago. "And he was really delicious. All that sadness and heartbreak, and I was happy to help him feel a little better in whatever way I could."
Georgina licks her lips. Blair winces but she doesn't look away, keeps her eyes on Georgina's face. She needs to know.
"We had a little place in the middle of the city and Dan would write all day and then we'd drink all night and fuck each other."
She pauses and looks at Blair who refuses to flinch, just keeps her eyes on Georgina, daring her to tell her more, to tell her everything.
"He was so sad and sometimes I'd find him up in the middle of the night, crying."
Georgina is far away again, her voice trailing off.
"He had nightmares every night, you know, and sometimes he'd call out for you, and I'd go to him and hold him, but it never seemed to help."
"Go on," Blair said, feeling tears on her cheeks. Her insides feel twisted.
"He called out your name when we fucked."
"Oh god," Blair finally lets out the sob she'd been holding back, her body shakes with its force. Her heart hurts and she wants to scream, to sink to the floor and pound with her fists until they hurt. She finally knows, truly knows, what she did all those years ago by walking away with no explanation, no closure.
She finally feels his pain.
Georgina covers Blair's hand with her own in a strange gesture of consolation. Blair jerks her hand away. Georgina sighs.
"I've always had a soft spot for Humphrey. You really fucked him over, Blair. I've never seen someone so broken. Until now, but..."
But what, Blair wants to ask. Now she goes on knowing just how badly she'd hurt him? Blair isn't sure this was a good idea. She puts a hand up to stop Georgina from talking.
"I think I've heard enough."
"Okay," Georgina murmurs, looking satisfied. "But there's one thing I don't get."
"What?" Blair asks as she stands up. What is there not to get about this. What is confusing about the situation to Georgina. Blair fucked up and she's finally paying. Isn't it clear?
"Why are you here?" Georgina says pointedly. "You got the happy ending. I'm sure Dan still loves you, has always loved you. I may be a bitch, but one doesn't trade in the business of secrets without knowing something about human nature. I'm not surprised you two found each other again, not shocked that you and Humphrey are married. You love each other. You always have, but for some reason things didn't work out fifteen years ago. So why are you here dredging up the past. Why aren't you looking toward the future?"
Blair can't answer. There is no good way to explain, and she's not really sure herself. Somehow they ended up trapped back in something that is actually over. She stares down at the floor, her eyes tracing the tile pattern on the floor.
"I hurt him."
"Pshaw." Georgina spits out. "Hurt, pain, it's all part of being human. We can only hurt people of we love them to start with. And love can heal the hurt. Grow up, Blair."
She's right. Chuck, their marriage failing, none of that hurts her like this. It never has. Maybe Blair hurt him more, but only because he'd loved her more, but that's not the case anymore. She loves Dan, he loves her, and now, standing in front of Georgina Sparks of all people, Blair realizes that she's right. The past doesn't matter. What matters is now. She's never understood that as clearly as she does as she stand in the middle of a classy strip joint, a strange place to have a revelation, but who is Blair to argue with when clarity strikes.
Blair looks up. Georgina is watching her and Blair feels a strange kinship with this woman who has always been her enemy. She'd never imagined that the person who would save her would be Georgina Sparks. They say nothing, just look at each other and there is understanding between them.
"Thank you," Blair whispers, breaking the silence. She turns and walks toward the entryway. She knows what she needs to do now. It's time to leave the past behind for good.
TBC