Deep into the evening, Cell, Frieza, Zarbon, King Vegeta, Bardock, Raditz and Nappa were sat around in the kitchen playing I Never.
"I never had sex with the King's wife." Raditz said, and Bardock, Nappa, King Vegeta and Frieza drank.
"Uh, guys? You're doing it wrong." King Vegeta said. "You're only supposed to drink if you have done that thing."
"… … Ohhh!" Bardock, Nappa and Frieza all uttered.
"Yeah, I uh… I totally didn't get that…" Bardock said nervously, not looking at King Vegeta.
"Thank you for enlightening me…" Frieza mumbled.
"Huh?" Nappa blinked, not really understanding the situation as he was the only one that genuinely didn't understand the rules of the game. Cell simply smirked.

Bardock cleared his throat and moved swiftly on.
"I never had sex with a guy." He said, and Frieza and Zarbon drank.
"I never had sex with a girl." Zarbon countered, and Bardock, Nappa, Raditz, King Vegeta and Frieza drank.
"I never had sex." Cell said, and everyone except him drank.
"I never had sex with a guy and a girl at the same time." King Vegeta said. Frieza hesitated, then took a sip of his drink. Cell looked at him questionably.
"I can't remember if it was a real girl." Frieza explained.
"Well did it have a penis!" Bardock growled.
"I have no idea, there were so many there that night!" Frieza protested.
"Wow…" King Vegeta gasped. "I want your life."

Everyone stared at him. "No, I mean – look, I'm not gay." King Vegeta said. "But having so much sex you can't remember what you've had sex with? Awesome!"
"Your Highness, you're totally right!" Bardock exclaimed.
"Cool!" Raditz grinned.

Cell sighed.
"I was never stupid and horny enough to envy Frieza for having so much probably-unprotected sex." He frowned, and everyone drank.
"Yes…" Frieza smirked, his eyes glowing manically. "Glow, my pretties, glow green with envy!"

Everyone went quiet.
"Well that was weird." Bardock stated.
"I don't feel comfortable around you anymore, Frieza…" King Vegeta mumbled.
"Really?" Frieza frowned. "Alright, so – I destroy your planet; I steal your son; I screw your wife and now you do not feel comfortable around me? Honestly? Do you even know why you were born?"
"He has a point, Saiyan." Cell sniggered. King Vegeta glared at him.
"Well –"

He was suddenly interrupted by Yasa entering the room. She looked at them; her arms are folded across her chest.
"Have I walked in on the universe's biggest inter-racial orgy?" She smirked.
"God, I wish…" Zarbon purred, eyeing up Bardock, whose eyes widened in horror. Yasa sat down in the one empty seat, which just happened to be next to Frieza.
"Oh God, you're not joining us are you?" Frieza groaned. Yasa glared at him.
"What if I am?" She hissed.
"Hey, uh – it's no girls allowed." Nappa said.
"Exactly." Frieza sighed. "So we can't get rid of her."
"Actually I came to replace you, Fairy!" Yasa snarled, causing Cell and the saiyans to laugh.
"She's my daughter alright!" King Vegeta grinned.
"Yes, the smell is uncanny…" Frieza sniped.
"Be careful, little boy." Yasa hissed at him, while Cell watched the two of them closely.

Yasa grabbed a beer. "What's the game?" She asked.
"I Never." Bardock answered.
"I never… uh…" Nappa began, and then sighed shamefully. "I never made out with a girl when I was seventeen."
"Loser." Raditz grunted, taking a swig of his drink. Yasa also drank, which caused the saiyans (aka, the straight guys) to go wide-eyed.
"Whoa!" They cried.
"What?" Yasa shrugged, looking at them. "We were drunk; it was only for a couple of minutes."
"What, uh… what were you wearing?" Bardock asked.
"What did she look like?" Raditz drooled.
"Put your trousers back on, perverts." Yasa growled, glaring at them.
"Don't get too excited, Boys." Frieza snorted. "The girl must have been drunk out of her skull, blind, insane, terminally ill and have absolutely no self-respect to make out with Yasa."

Yasa leapt up and stood over Frieza, glaring at him.
"I'm warning you!" She seethed.
"Frieza, don't kill my fantasy." Bardock growled.
"Hmph!" Frieza grunted, and pushed Yasa back down. "Calm yourself, Dear."
"Calm myself! You think this is me not calm?" Yasa barked.
"Good God." Cell said.
"What?" Frieza blinked.

Cell raised his beer bottle and took a turn,
"I never sat next to a feisty saiyan princess for barely five seconds before there was more love-hate sexual tension around two chairs than there is in Satan and Lilith's bedroom on Halloween."
"Ooooooo!" The male saiyans exclaimed.
"Wh-what!" Frieza gasped.
"What the fuck are you trying to say? I'm married!" Yasa yelled.
"Well I'm not married." Frieza said. "But –"
"Yes you are; I've met your wife." Yasa frowned. "Where do you think your kid came from?"
"I have a child?" Frieza gasped, his eyes widening. Yasa sighed.
"Is your drinking really that bad?" She asked.
"It's not the alcohol. He's just a heartless tyrant that doesn't care about anyone except himself." Bardock growled.
"All this talk of children…" King Vegeta mumbled. "Maybe I should start a family."
"You have, Sire…" Bardock sighed helplessly.
"Yes, what a worthwhile thing that was…" Frieza said with a smirk. "How's the family, Vegeta?"
"A super saiyan actually, how about yours?" King Vegeta snarled. "I hear your wife isn't too quick on the uptake."
"Well of course she isn't, she's my wife." Frieza replied. "Women should be attractive and dumb, and obey the orders of a man."
"Oh, you sexist pig!" Yasa yelled.
"He has a point though…" Bardock thought to himself.
"What kind of loser marries an airhead?" Yasa snarled.
"Well, your husband did." Frieza smirked. Yasa glared at him.
"Oh really? I'm much smarter than you!" She barked.
"Oh… I don't think so." Frieza said.
"What's Galick Gun and Lord Frieza multiplied by five?" Yasa growled.
"I believe it's… 'Oh, look. We've killed that awful Frieza twice now but here he is again'." Frieza answered, and smirked. "And again." He took Yasa's drink off her. "And again." He drank her drink. "And again." And he handed Yasa back her drink. Yasa simply glared at him, and snarled. "It's a shame, isn't it?" Frieza smirked.
"Good job killing Goku." Yasa sniped.
"Well I was just going to say the same to you." Frieza replied, causing Yasa to snarl louder.
"I can't watch…" Cell groaned, covering his eyes. "Why am I the only one seeing this!"
"Why can't you just accept the fact that I will always own the saiyans?" Frieza sneered. "Everybody else has. Stupid girl."
"I am not stupid!" Yasa snapped.
"What is the first digit of pi?" Frieza asked. Yasa flinched and paused, then realised she didn't know the answer.
"… What kind of a question is that?" She growled.

At that moment Karita entered the room.
"Did somebody say 'pie'?" She beamed.
"No Karita, they didn't!" Yasa gasped, her eyes widening. "Drop it now!"
"Oh, this is too good…" Frieza smirked. "Karita? Can I ask you a question?"
"Sure! What is it?" Karita smiled.
"Do you know what the first digit of pi is?" Frieza asked.
"The first digit of pi…?" Karita repeated.
"Karita, please! For the honour of saiyans everywhere do not answer that question!" Yasa cried.
"No – it's okay Yasa, I got it." Karita said.
"I really don't think you have…" Yasa groaned. Karita looked at Frieza.
"The first digit of pi is pastry!" She declared, brimming with confidence.

Frieza, Zarbon and Cell all burst out laughing, while the rest of the saiyans hid their faces in shame.
"I told you…" Yasa seethed.
"Was that wrong?" Karita sweat dropped.
"Saiyans! What stupid creatures." Zarbon snorted.
"Where the hell have you sprung from!" King Vegeta barked, suddenly becoming aware of Zarbon's presence in the room.
"Hmph!" Zarbon grunted. "I was making the scenery look beautiful."
"Bender." Bardock sniped.
"Listen –" Yasa advanced on Frieza. "She hit her head when she was younger! She thinks she's a human, she wasn't raised with us – she does not represent saiyans!"
"I don't know." Frieza said, looking Yasa up and down. "Stupid, disobedient, overconfident, unattractive… I think she forms a perfect example."
"You take that back." Yasa hissed, leaning into him.
"No." Frieza said with a smirk.
"I'm warning you." Yasa seethed.
"I know you are." Frieza shrugged. "And I'm not threatened."

Yasa uttered a low growl and stared fiercely into his eyes, piercing death into his soul. Frieza simply stared back. Calm, smooth and fearless. Yasa held her face just inches away from his, so close that Frieza could feel her angry, steady breaths against his skin. Meanwhile, everyone else was watching.
"This is…" Bardock uttered, and swallowed. "Wrong."
"So intense…" Raditz gasped, as Nappa gulped in fear. Zarbon watched angrily, gritting his teeth while Cell simply waited…
"Huh…?" Karita blinked as Frieza placed his hand on Yasa's arm, drawing blood. Yasa simply smirked.
"You really think you can hurt me…?" She challenged, and leaned into him. "Go ahead. Try."

Frieza smirked darkly, and started to form a small and deadly ki ball on his free fingertip. Yasa didn't back down, and challengingly bore her fangs at him.
"Squee!" Karita squealed. Frieza met Yasa's eyes, and raised his finger…
"Hey!"
"Huh?" Yasa uttered, looking up.

She saw Boxas standing in the doorway, glaring at them.
"What's going on here?" He growled. Frieza let go of Yasa as she pulled away, and smirked.
"What a hero." He sniped, and looked at Yasa. "Walking in at just the right moment to save you, aren't you lucky?"
"You're the lucky one." Yasa growled, and went over to Boxas.

Meanwhile Zarbon, Cell, Karita, King Vegeta, Bardock, Raditz and Nappa had been watching the Frieza-Yasa scene intently, and they finally breathed and relaxed.
"Hmph! He would have just killed her anyway." Zarbon snorted.
"Wishful thinking, Eve…" Bardock replied.
"I would have!" Frieza protested.
"Of course, Frieza, of course." Cell smirked.
"Oh – I'll prove it to you!" Frieza barked.

At that moment Raidisha entered the room. "I don't even like girls that much anyway, and especially not saiyan girls." Frieza growled. "Dirty creatures…"
"That's what's good about 'em." Bardock said with a smirk. Raidisha grinned and posed for him, and Bardock winked at her. Zarbon looked at Bardock in disgust.
"Isn't that your daughter, you filthy rodent?" He snorted.
"I don't have a daughter, Princess, just two sons." Bardock replied, and pointed at Raidisha. "As far as I'm concerned, that little piece is nothing to do with me."
"That's what I like to hear!" Raidisha exclaimed. "I've only been in this room two seconds and already I'm getting offers."
"Well don't think it's over yet, Frieza hasn't had his say." Cell smirked. "He's into saiyan girls at the moment. "
"I am not!" Frieza yelled.
"I thought you were going to prove it." Cell challenged.
"I would not give you the satisfaction." Frieza pouted.
"Saiyan girls…?" Karita uttered. "Well you should know that Yasa and I are both married." Cell burst out laughing.
Oh, how brilliant!" He exclaimed. "I never knew it could happen – but she's actually worse than Goku!"

Frieza uttered a low growl, still annoyed about being accused of liking saiyans.
"Oh!" Raidisha looked at Frieza. "You like Yasa-sama? She's pretty untouchable, y'know. Want me to give you tips?"
"Hey!" Boxas barked. Yasa smacked Raidisha over the head.
"Don't you dare say that again!" She roared.
"I do not like her!" Frieza screamed.
"Yeah, yeah…" Cell said tauntingly.
"Fine! I will prove it just to spite you!" Frieza barked. "Zarbon."
"Yes?" Zarbon answered.
"Do you want to go to some politically correct Earth country and get one of those civil marriages?" Frieza asked.

Zarbon's jaw dropped.
"Wh-What?" He choked, while everyone else's eyes widened in shock.
"What the…?" Yasa gasped.
"Did Frieza just…?" Karita mumbled.
"Frieza just proposed to someone!" Raidisha declared. "I never thought I'd see this! Zarbon – do you accept?"
"Of course!" Zarbon wailed.
"Wow!" Raidisha grinned. "I never thought I'd see that either!"
"What! Why!" Frieza demanded.
"L-Lord Frieza!" Zarbon cried, with tears falling from his big love-heart eyes. "I can't believe it! I've been your casual fuck-buddy boyfriend for as long as I can remember, but I never thought it'd get serious – I mean, I thought about it sometimes but I never imagined…" He grabbed hold of Frieza and squeezed him tight. "I love you!"
"Eugh!" Frieza gagged, pushing Zarbon away. "Well I don't love you! Can't you just settle for being a gold-digger?" Zarbon uttered a loving sigh.
"You know me so well, Lord Frieza." He smiled. "Money always was more important than love…"
"Good. Then you can be my token attractive partner." Frieza said.

Yasa looked at Zarbon and sneered.
"I see 'token', but not 'attractive'." She sniped.
"How dare you!" Zarbon yelled. "I'm much more beautiful than you are!"
"You're more of a woman than me, and that's not a compliment." Yasa growled.
"To you, no." Zarbon snarled.
"Hmph!" Yasa huffed, and turned away.
"I can't believe Frieza's getting married!" Raidisha cried. "To someone with a tiny bit of brain!"
"What! Why is that so hard to believe?" Frieza argued. "I own half of the universe; I can get whatever I want; I practically breathe money…"
"And what a hideous wedding that will be." Yasa spat. "I hope you don't mind if I don't come."
"Of course not." Frieza growled. "I don't want any saiyans there, stealing all the food and wine…"
"There'll be wine?" Raidisha gasped, and threw her arms around Karita and Yasa. "Count us in!" She beamed. "Nana-san too!"
"No, you're not invited!" Frieza yelled. "I don't want a single one of you creatures to set foot on my planet again!"
"Hm…" Yasa mused. "Food and wine? Maybe I can spare a couple of hours to go."
"What!" Frieza barked. "No –"
"It's not like you can stop me. I'm so much stronger than you now." Yasa smirked. "That's what happens when you spend so many years in Hell – you get left behind while everyone else grows stronger."
"Tell me about it…" Bardock mumbled, and took a swig of his beer. "Fuckers."
"You just said you didn't want to go!" Frieza protested, glaring at Yasa. "You're only going because you know I don't want you there."
"Well of course I am; I'm not doing it for some pretty photos am I?" Yasa smirked.
"Listen – it's not my problem you got owned all throughout your childhood." Frieza growled.
"Not your problem? It was your fault!" Yasa snapped.
"I know, but it benefited me." Frieza shrugged. "So I still don't see how it was ever my problem."

Yasa opened her mouth to argue, when Raidisha interrupted her.
"Fri-kun, just accept it!" Raidisha grinned. "We're going, and we're making ourselves at home." She put an arm around Frieza and raises her glass to his. "On the day of the wedding, consider yourself bankrupt!" Raidisha declared, and clinked their glasses together.
"Sounds like fun!" Karita grinned.
"Rai, she's learning." Yasa smirked.