Later in the evening, Frikiza was looking through Yasa and Boxas' wedding album.
"Cute…" She smiled. "Niichan, why don't you wear a suit like this?" She said, and showed Frieza a photo.
"Eugh." Frieza gagged. "Is that Yasa wearing white? When could she ever pull that off?"
At that moment Yasa came up behind him and yanked his head back by the horns.
"Hey!" She barked. "One more word out of you and I'll turn you into a book!" She glared at Frikiza. "Put that back where you found it!"
"Well, I didn't really find it. Someone gave it to me…" Frikiza said.
"So give it them back." Yasa ordered.
Frikiza obediently handed the album back to Cell and Piccolo, who began to study the photos.
"So which one are you more attracted to?" Piccolo asked.
"Neither!" Cell groaned. "It's no use."
"Same here…" Piccolo sighed.
"Ew!" Yasa gagged in disgust. "Okay, can somebody please turn these two into mammals so they know what it's like to be aroused by something?"
"Delicately phrased." Frieza remarked, causing Yasa to shoot him a nasty glance.
"So…" Cell began. "Frieza, in all seriousness – would you find Yasa attractive?" Frieza shot him a death glare. "I didn't mean it that way!" Cell insisted. "But you're attracted to women, aren't you?"
"Some women…" Frieza shrugged. "It depends. I'm a lot pickier with women than I am with men."
"You're attracted to both?" Piccolo blinked.
"Yes, I'm bisexual." Frieza answered.
"Pah!" Bardock snorted. "Typical. Even your sexuality wants everything!"
"Well some of us can get what we want, super saiyan." Frieza said with a smirk.
"And some of us can't, 'super saiyan slayer'." Bardock retorted.
"My, that was awfully quick of you!" Frieza sniped. "Have you been practising on your own or have you always had a talent for thinking of comebacks that contain words you've just heard?"
Frikiza smiled at Frieza, just as Zarbon was entering the room.
"Niichan… do you find me attractive?" She asked.
"You're a female me, of course I do!" Frieza replied.
"Do you remember Zara-san? What about her?" Frikiza asked. Frieza paused for a moment, considering.
"Yes, she is rather beautiful…" He uttered.
"Well of course she is, Lord. She's me." Zarbon replied arrogantly. He looked at Frikiza. "Aren't you bisexual too?"
"Well…" Frikiza began, trying to figure it out. "I think a lot of girls are pretty, but… I don't really like them in that way."
"See!" Raidisha exclaimed. "That's how you two are different! Friki is content with how things are, but Fri-kun always wants more!"
"That's right!" Karita nodded. "He's never happy."
"Well, why should I settle for less?" Frieza argued.
Raidisha patted him on the back.
"Because you're too small to achieve more!" She grinned.
"What!" Frieza roared, causing Yasa to snigger.
"I don't know what you're laughing at." Frieza growled. "I'm taller than you."
"I'm a girl!" Yasa protested.
"I'm not so sure." Frieza smirked.
"Well you're not attracted to me, are you Asslover?" Yasa snarled.
"The day I find you attractive is the day I find a saiyan attractive." Frieza hissed.
"Really?" Frikiza uttered. "But Yasa-san has very pretty eyes…"
"Maybe, but it's not the eyes that matter!" Raidisha exclaimed. "Compare us!"
She squeezed Yasa's chest, causing Yasa to go wide-eyed. "Yasa-sama is only a B cup, but us Son girls are C-C-C!" Raidisha grinned.
"Ah… 'Son girls'?" Karita repeated. "You're a Son too?"
"Ssh! Our saiyan name is secret!" Raidisha said.
"Why?" Karita sweat dropped.
Yasa pushed Raidisha away.
"Get the hell off my chest!" She screamed.
"Sorry Yasa-sama, I was just showing everyone how small they are." Raidisha said.
"They're not small!" Yasa barked. Karita looked at Yasa's chest and her eyebrows rose in surprised.
"I never realised they're not the same as mine." She uttered, and took off her shirt.
"K-Karita…" Yasa choked, wide-eyed.
"Let's compare!" Karita beamed, and reached for Yasa's shirt.
"No!" Yasa yelled, jumping away.
"Wow, this is kind of hot…" Bardock uttered, staring at the girls.
"Yeah… I wish to God she wasn't my sister…" Raditz mumbled.
"She's not!" Bardock growled.
Meanwhile Cell was watching Karita and Yasa, and gulped nervously.
"I think I'm developing a sexuality…" He whimpered.
"Really?" Piccolo looked at him. "Will you let me borrow it?"
"Sure." Cell nodded, and shook his hand.
Yasa suddenly noticed Karita's bra.
"Hey – where did you get that?" She asked, examining it. "What's it made out of?"
"Hm?" Karita blinked. "Oh, I'm not sure… Gohana bought it me when she was out shopping – it stops them moving around when I train."
"Mine does too, but… that one looks sturdier." Yasa said.
Karita puts her hand down Yasa's shirt and tugged at her sports bra.
"Whoa!" Raditz and Bardock cried, their eyes widening. Piccolo's jaw dropped.
"Actually Cell, I don't need it." He said.
"No, mine's different." Karita stated, and took Yasa's hand. "Feel." Yasa hesitated, then tugged at Karita's bra.
"Hm. It's good, I suppose…" She admitted. "But mine don't move much anyway."
"That's because they're too small." Raditz grinned.
"They are not!" Yasa barked.
"You can borrow it if you want." Karita smiled, putting her shirt back on.
"I think I'd rather just buy one…" Yasa sweat dropped.
"Why don't you just try hers on now…?" Bardock said. "Y'know, to see if you like it…"
Yasa shot Bardock a death glare, while Frieza gagged in disgust.
"Can we please stop talking about your bras now?" He growled. "We were talking about me, let's continue with that."
"Typical. Me, me, me…" Bardock sniped.
"Hey – you had a movie, you can hardly complain!" Frieza argued.
"Even that was about you!" Bardock protested.
"I just thought… Niichan, did you meet Zarbon-san the same way I met Zara-san?" Frikiza asked.
"I don't see why it would be any different." Frieza shrugged.
Zarbon looked at Frikiza.
"Did you meet her on her planet?" He asked. Frikiza looked down, ashamed.
"… Yes." She answered quietly.
"Let me guess – you destroyed it?" Yasa sniped. Frikiza looked away.
"I was… a different person then." She said.
Zarbon went starry-eyed, and sighed into his memories.
"I remember… Frieza came to my planet and destroyed my home. It was the happiest day of my life!"
"Um… happiest?" Karita sweat dropped.
"Of course." Zarbon nodded. I was wasted there but he rescued me from the torture!"
"I was just a young boy, sixteen or seventeen perhaps. By force I was engaged to a woman I hated and I struggled to get by in a cruel and homophobic world."
On his home planet, a teenage Zarbon was working behind the bar in a nightclub. His face was heavily made up and he was wearing overly decorative earrings.
"That's five twenty-six please, Sugar." He said, handing a male customer his drinks. The man handed Zarbon the money, and snorted at him in disgust.
"I'll give you a tip if you promise to grow some fucking genitals, Nancyboy." He growled.
"Bite me!" Zarbon snapped, and the customer stormed off.
"Hey!"
Zarbon turned to see his manager approaching him angrily. "Don't talk to customers like that!"
"He was being rude." Zarbon pouted.
"Who the hell cares?" His boss growled. "He had a point anyway, Pansy. Aren't you supposed to be getting married to a woman?"
"Not by choice." Zarbon muttered.
"Well you could do a lot worse than her. Zamia's a godsend." His boss said, and walked off. The teenager Zarbon leaned on the bar and sighed.
"I hate my life…"
"But then, suddenly…"
"Hey!" A female customer gasped. "Look outside!"
"Hm?" Zarbon looked out of the window, and saw a light descending down towards them.
"What is that, an alien?" Someone piped up.
"Wow…" Zarbon gasped, and ran for the door.
"Hey!" His boss yelled after him. "Zarbon, come back here!" But Zarbon had already raced outside. He skidded to a halt underneath the light, and looked up.
*electric guitar/piano music*
Zarbon gasped in awe, his eyes widening as a huge spaceship slowly lowers itself and landed on the ground…
The sirens are screaming and the fires are howling,
Way down in the valley tonight.
There's a man in the shadows with a gun in his eye,
And a blade shining oh so bright.
A crowd started to gather round the spaceship as Zarbon continued to stare. Then, the spaceship door opened and a shadowed figure stepped out. It stood in the ship's doorway, staring at them. Zarbon could just about make out its glowing red eyes…
There's evil in the air and there's thunder in sky,
And a killer's on the bloodshot streets.
Zarbon tried to catch the figure's eye, when he heard familiar voices. He turned round to see Mom, Dad and Zamia heading for the bar.
"Crap!" He thought silently. "I'll be home soon, why are they visiting me?" He ran and hid around the side of the nightclub, his head poking round the corner so he could still watch the ship.
Oh and down in the tunnel where the deadly are rising,
Oh I swear I saw a young boy down in the gutter,
He was starting to foam in the heat.
Zarbon watched as the mysterious figure made his way down the steps towards the crowd…
Oh baby you're the only thing in this whole world,
That's pure and good and right.
And wherever you are and wherever you go,
There's always gonna be some light.
The figure smirked at the crowd and raises his index finger. He formed a small ki ball on his fingertip, and Zarbon's jaw dropped when the figure pointed the ki ball at the crowd.
But I gotta get out,
I gotta break it out now,
Before the final crack of dawn.
So we gotta make the most of our one night together.
When it's over you know,
We'll both be so alone.
The figure suddenly blasted the nightclub away and every member of the crowd went with it, creating explosions everywhere.
Like a bat out of hell
I'll be gone when the morning comes.
When the night is over
Like a bat out of hell
I'll be gone gone gone.
Like a bat out of hell
I'll be gone when the morning comes.
"Whoa!" Zarbon cried. He ran and jumped out of the way just as the nightclub was destroyed, and he then desperately raced through the city, ducking behind buildings for cover. The mysterious figure rose up above the ground and started destroying everything around him. In the distance, Zarbon could see his family running for safety, then the figure noticed them, and smirked.
But when the day is done and the sun goes down,
And the moonlights shining through,
Then like a sinner before the gates of heaven,
I'll come crawling on back to you.
Zarbon's eyes widened as the figure destroyed his parents and fiancée right before his very eyes.
I'm gonna hit the highway like a battering ram,
On a silver black phantom bike.
When the metal is hot and the engine is hungry,
And we're all about to see the light.
"Fuck!" Zarbon cried, and ran. The figure noticed Zarbon running. He smirked and chased him, knowing that the chase was making Zarbon more afraid.
Nothing ever grows in this rotting old hole.
Everything is stunted and lost.
And nothing really rocks
And nothing really rolls
And nothing's ever worth the cost.
Zarbon ran breathlessly, his heart racing as the figure followed him closely behind.
And I know that I'm damned if I never get out,
And maybe I'm damned if I do,
But with every other beat I've got left in my heart,
You know I'd rather be damned with you.
If I gotta be damned you know I wanna be damned,
Dancing through the night with you.
The figure sped up and started firing ki blasts at Zarbon, deliberately missing just to scare him. Zarbon ran faster, breathing hard.
If I gotta be damned you know I wanna be damned.
Gotta be damned you know I wanna be damned.
If I gotta be damned you know I wanna be damned,
Dancing through the night
Zarbon turned a corner, into a dead end.
Dancing through the night
The figure stopped behind Zarbon, who turned around to stare at him, his heart pounding fiercely against his ribcage and eyes wide with fright.
Dancing through the night with you.
The figure stood in front of Zarbon, smirking at him.
"Well well. We meet at last." He purred.
"Don't…" Zarbon panted, out of breath. "Don't kill me."
"Oh, that's what they all say…" The figure said, steadily approaching him.
"You killed my family." Zarbon breathed.
"And the rest of your planet will be gone before nightfall." The figure replied. "I suppose you want an apology?"
"No." Zarbon answered.
"Hm?"
Oh baby you're the only thing in this whole world,
That's pure and good and right.
And wherever you are and wherever you go,
There's always gonna be some light.
Zarbon stepped forward, and stared into the figure's eyes.
"Take me with you!"
But I gotta get out,
I gotta break it out now,
Before the final crack of dawn.
"I hate this planet!" Zarbon cried. "I'm engaged to a second-rate woman, I'm working in a club full of ignorant men that get offended by a man wearing make-up – I'm gay and this planet is punishing me for it! Please, whoever you are…" He looked at the figure pleadingly. "Take me away from here."
So we gotta make the most of our one night together.
When it's over you know,
We'll both be so alone.
The figure, paused, then turned on his scouter.
"… Quite an impressive power level." He remarked. "How old are you?"
"Sixteen, Sir." Zarbon answered.
"What is your name?" The figure asked.
"Zarbon."
"Well, Zarbon." The figure said, and threw him a scouter. "You have one chance. Go and prove yourself."
Like a bat out of hell
I'll be gone when the morning comes.
When the night is over
Like a bat out of hell
I'll be gone gone gone.
The teenage Zarbon sailed through his home planet, blowing up cities and buildings, his ki blasts exploding all over the planet while the figure watched.
Like a bat out of hell
I'll be gone when the morning comes.
Zarbon looked at the figure.
"Did I make it yet?" He asked.
"… Are you fussy about hours?" The figure shrugged.
"No, Sir." Zarbon answered.
"Alright." The figure smirked. "You have a week's trial."
But when the day is done and the sun goes down,
And the moonlights shining through,
"Thank you!" Zarbon exclaimed. "Oh – … what is your name?"
"You are to call me Lord Frieza." The figure replied.
"'Lord' Frieza?" Zarbon frowned.
"Problem?" Frieza questioned.
"N-No Sir!" Zarbon gasped. "Lord Frieza it is."
"Hm." Frieza grunted. "Your aim is a little off – here, watch me." He started blasting buildings while Zarbon watched him.
Then like a sinner before the gates of heaven,
I'll come crawling on back to you.
Zarbon watched Frieza in awe as the alien blasted away. A white background appeared behind Frieza and his movements seemed to slow down as Zarbon was captivated by him. He moved so angelically, so much like a god… Frieza paused for a moment, then looked at Zarbon. He smirked at him, and Zarbon smiled back.
"… And… I've never looked back since."
Back in the present time, Zarbon was smiling dreamily.
"My only regret was not meeting my Lord sooner." He said.
Meanwhile, everyone was staring at him in shock.
"That is…" Bardock uttered.
"Sick." Raditz said.
"Yeah." Bardock nodded.
"What the hell kind of a kid wants to blow up his own planet?" Yasa growled.
"I hated it there!" Zarbon cried. "Do you realise if Lord Frieza hadn't shown up I would be married to a woman by now? In some terrible ugly person's job! But – thanks to Frieza I am now the fiancé of the universe's most feared tyrant!" Frieza grinned proudly as Zarbon continued on. "Money, fame, protection – jewellery! What more could I want?"
"How about an inch of self-respect?" Bardock grunted.
"Oh sure, in a perfect world…" Zarbon retorted.
"But don't you ever wonder…" Raidisha began. "What if someone better comes along? He can replace you easily, right?"
Zarbon gasped.
"You little –"
"I doubt that will happen, Raidisha." Frieza said. "Zarbon had to prove himself to get to where he is today."
"That's right!" Zarbon huffed. "When I first started I was no better than you, but after years of hard work and beautiful looks – in fact you could have become what I am yourself if you had just worked a little harder and undergone some intense plastic surgery."
"Really…?" Raidisha uttered, looking at him. "So… Vegeta might've taken your place someday?"
"No, of course not!" Zarbon yelled.
"But you just said –"
"Zara-san was like a big sister to me, even though she was younger…" Frikiza said. "And Zarbon-san is dating Niichan so… I know he wouldn't be replaced. But Dodoria-san…" She looked at Frieza. "Right?"
Frieza shrugged.
"Well, he's useless." He admitted. "I only have him there because sadly I've found nobody better to replace him; I keep sending him on away missions so I don't have to look at him all day."
"I know, he's disgusting…" Zarbon gagged.
"I see, so Dodoria would be replaced…" Raidisha mumbled, then grinned. "Imagine it! Lord Frieza sitting in his chair with Zarbon and Yasa-sama at his side! Kawaii!"
"It is not kawaii!" Yasa screamed, smacking her. "Anyway, it'd be Vegeta, not me!"
"You're better than Vegeta, Yasa-sama!" Raidisha insisted.
"Well, I won't deny that." Yasa said with a smirk.
"Well… you're only better because you're smaller so there's less of you." Frieza sniped.
"I think less of you is needed." Yasa growled.
"Well I have four forms, Dear, just pick your favourite." Frieza retorted.
"No thanks." Yasa smirked. "I think I'll go talk to Coola, there's more of a form choice there."
Frieza glared at her angrily.
"Don't start again…" Karita sighed. "Boxas said he'd blame me if anything else got broken…"
"Huh? Kari-chan, you're getting blamed for their fighting?" Raidisha gasped, and Karita nodded sadly. "I see…" Raidisha mumbled. She looked at Yasa and Frieza, and grinned. "Fight all you want, you've got nothing to lose!"
Karita sweat dropped, while Frieza laughed.
"Raidisha, I think I'm starting to get along with you." He smirked, causing Raidisha to grin widely. Bardock looked at Raditz and growled,
"Do you see now why I don't consider her my daughter?"