Chapter XIV | Anastasia's POV
I advise you to listen to Animal I Have Become by Three Days Grace, while reading this chapter. Suits it a bit.
Video Journal Entry #1
So, this is my first video journal entry. This is so stupid but I don't know another way to just spill my feelings out there, I've always been one to keep my feelings bottled in, but I just need to vent and this is the stupidest yet the only option I had.. Well I did have another option,
To write it down in a composition book, but my parents could easily snoop and I have a password set on my laptop so they won't be able to find this, so yeah...here goes nothing...
God it's even hard to say this but I'm scared.. There I fucking said it... I'm scared.
I'm hearing voices... At first it was just Vixx, but now it's just, all wrong.. he's a man.. and they both won't stop talking to me, they tell me things that I already fucking know about myself... 'You're a fuck up', 'a failure', I mean I know, but being reminded over and over again, just... it gets to me.
I'm also seeing things, black figures... I can feel them too *looks around, and wipes a single tear away*
I'm hearing them so much, and the thing is... *whimpers* I'm the only one that sees and hears them..
What's happening to me?
*Starts sobbing uncontrollably*
They're calling me weak now... I'm so scared... They're so loud, I need Hera... It'll stop this. But I just don't have any! I'm getting so frustrated..
It's been two days since I saw the same fucking figures at the rave... Fuck I hate crying... They're right, I am weak.
I have fifteen minutes until I have to be at school, so I guess this is laters, even though I think I won't even be making another one of these video journals..
I just hope the voices stop... *whimpers and sighs* bye... *turns off the webcam*
I wipe the tears off my face and grab the keys for my car.
My parents have noticed what's been going on, they're just afraid that I'll shut them out if they ask me what's wrong..
I don't think I would.. Truth is, I wish I could cuddle with my mom like I use to and tell her everything I feel, but it's not that easy.
Be strong Ana... But how? I'm weak, truth be told.
This whole strong, I'm a bitch thing is just a facade for everybody. I never let people see me cry. No, only the moon at night can hear my cries.
I feel Christian looking at me...
But I'm too busy looking at the window of the class room door, I see her.
Vixx.
That dream made her eyes look violet, but they're black. So black, they're sinister, and she's smiling at me, even creepier.
I'm gripping on the desks, so hard that my hands are hurting.
Look at her, she's nervous...
That wasn't Vixx, it was the man's voice, It scares me so much..
I can see you sweating...
He says.
I hear Vixx laugh... Fuck, they're so fucking loud!
The teacher must of called on me because all the eyes are now focused on me. Just what I needed...
''Anastasia, I said would you come here please?''
I look at the class room door's window, she's not there... Thank god.
I nod and get up,
''Ana?''
I look at Christian and his face screams 'concern'
''Are you okay?''
No. No, I'm not, but I'm gonna lie to you... ''Yes'' I whisper back.
I walk over to the teacher, eyes are still on me.
They see you Ana...
The man says.
Mrs. Teal is saying something but I just can't hear her, so I just nod at everything she says.
She finally dismisses me by a wave of her hand.
I turn around.
All eyes on you Ana...
I'm gonna name you Asshole, because that's what you are! I reply in my mind.
They're laughing at you... Don't you see?...
I look at all of the people and some of them are snickering, I feel so exposed.
I avoid the voices and walk to my seat, I see Christian looking at me..
Don't avoid me, he thinks you're a joke...
I hate you, Asshole, shut the fuck up!
I hate feeling all their eyes on me.. I wanna punch every single one of them!
Turn around Ana...
I gasp, I can feel her... I can sense her.
Oh no, not here, not in front of all these people.
I refuse to turn around and make a fool out of myself. I flat out refuse..
I suddenly look at a top corner in the room, to see that it's burning..
Gasping, I look at all the kids, can't they see it?
The whole wall is being burned. the scenery is changing right before my eyes, what the fuck is happening!?
I told you to turn around...
At this point I'm breathing so hard I think my lungs are about to explode..
I turn around and I regret it immediately, I see her.
Vixx, looking exactly like me, but with black eyes, and with a smile so frightening. I also see the black figures.
I fall to the ground, and start crawling backwards...
Shaking my head from side to side, I start sobbing as they start following me..
What was once a class room, is just blank...
I move so that I'm now on my knees.. I shake my head from side to side violently while letting some tears fall.
''This can't be real!'' I say..
I notice that Vixx is now crouching down in front of me, with that same creepy smile on her face.
She stares at me before she lets out the scariest abrupt scream that causes me to cry and scream as well.
I also hear voices in the background. So fucking loud!
''GET OUT OF MY HEAD!'' I look at the floor, sobbing and screaming while putting my hands over my ears trying to block out the loudness.
''Ana!'' That voice... It's Christian!
Everything is starting to fade away, but one thing is getting much more clearer, Christian's face...
''Ana, calm down... It's okay...'' He soothes me, he looks like an angel.
Please, help me Christian...
His face is the last I see before the blackness kicks in.