DISCLAIMER: No matter how much I want it, I do not own Naruto. I am still only borrowing the characters and not killing off any in this chapter…I promise to return them in good condition – well, maybe slightly battered!

Thanks to my beta COOKIEMONSTER77!

Chapter Seventeen:

Some Things Never Change

Sorrow is a thing with teeth,

And while in time it retreats,

It comes back at the whisper of its name.

~Anon~

Naruto woke bright and early the next morning feeling better than he had in weeks. As he dressed for his morning run, a gleam entered his eye. He carefully removed the seals on his legs then exited his room as slowly as he could. Not wanting to wake Ayame, he softly tapped on the door across from his and whispered, "Dad, you ready?"

Kakashi gave an answering grunt before getting out of the nice warm bed. He glanced at the alarm clock which read four AM. "Why couldn't he be a late sleeper?" he grumbled to himself.

When he finally yawned himself out of bed and outside, he found Naruto waiting impatiently in the windy yard. "It's about time, old man!" he cheerfully yelled, "You wanna race?"

"What, you think you can beat me, puppy?"

"I'm bigger, faster, and stronger than I was two years ago," bragged the boy.

"Mah, you're pretty cocky for a twelve year old."

"Almost thirteen, dad. I'm a man now. I've even got hair growing everywhere now!" Naruto grinned wide and loudly proclaimed, "I'm gonna win this time. So how bout it? Loser has to buy breakfast?"

"You're on, little man," he said, much to Naruto's annoyance.

Although Kakashi had to admit that the boy's speed was incredible for a genin, he was still no match for the elite jonin. After the fifteenth lap around Konoha, the copy-nin sat at the memorial stone looking bored as the wheezing boy ran up and staggered to halt.

"You owe me breakfast, you hairy slowpoke!"

After Naruto caught his breath, he gave his most charming smile and asked shamelessly, "You got any money I can borrow?"

Kakashi rubbed his head affectionately then invited the boy to join him at the memorial. They sat in silence for a long time, each lost in his own pain and loss. Quietly, the copy-nin said, "I've missed you. It's been far too long."

"I missed you too."

The grin he shot at the man didn't reach his eyes. Raw pain filled them instead. Kakashi hated that look. It was the same haunted look he saw in the mirror for years. The jonin vowed at that moment, his son would not carry on his legacy. "Trying to ignore your pain will only make it worse in the long run, son. For real healing it's necessary to face your grief and actively deal with it."

"I don't know how."

"Tell me more about Fū. You told me a lot about her in your letters. She sounded like a really good friend."

"She's dead. What else is there to say?" answered Naruto flatly.

"When you talk about someone who's gone, it's not only a way of keeping them with you, but so that they'll somehow know that you're still thinking of them, still love them."

"Not today. I am finally home. It should be a happy day. We get to find out who our sensei will be today."

"But son, I think…"

"Not today, please dad, not today."

Kakashi unhappily nodded. "Why don't we go home and see if your mother has managed to get out of the bed without help."

"She sure looks like a duck when she waddles around…"

The shinobi laughed a little and nudged the boy as they walked. "I know, just don't tell her that."

~~Naruto's Grief~~

Into the day with the rising sun and steadily decreasing wind, Naruto walked with no ultimate destination in mind. He had to get away from the house. Kakashi and Ayame were trying to be helpful, but he felt suffocated. Although he had patched things up with Sai and Sasuke, he still wanted to feel bad; he wanted to feel the guilt. He just wasn't ready to let go yet. He just couldn't. It felt like a betrayal.

Naruto spotted Sakura sitting on the steps leading to the upper levels of the village. He casually strolled over to her with his hands in his pockets then leaned against a tree. "Well, well," he said startling her with his unexpected presence, "Those stairs never looked so good."

"Naruto!" she blushed at the unexpected, mature complement coming from the boy, and said in surprise, "What are you doing here?"

"Oh nothing; just going for a walk. Do you want to go with me or do you have someplace to be?"

"No, I finished training for the day. I was about to go back to my house and take a shower."

"I'll walk you home if you want." Naruto held his hand out for her to lead the way.

She turned her head a little to study him as they walked. This poised, self-confidant Naruto was so different from the hyper-active one she once knew. It was a little unnerving. Soon, they passed the park they had played in as children.

"Let's stop in here," he said happily as he grabbed her hand and began to pull her. "I don't bite…much!"

Sakura smiled. That was the Naruto she knew from old.

~~O~~

They started across the wide grassy area towards the water's edge and the well-worn path along the bank, walking in companionable silence, with only the sound of nature filling the cool, quiet air.

Sakura commented, "It's beautiful here."

"Yes it is. We used to come here a lot to walk along this path when we were little. Do you remember?"

She stole a quick glance at him. His features were relaxed, free of the usual frantic exuberance she frequently saw. "I do."

He slowed and stepped off the path, walking towards a huge camphor tree, its branches draped in a thick strands of moss. "Do you remember this?" he asked.

She moved closer, her heartbeat racing as she recognized the large heart and pair of initials carved inside, NU + SH. "Our climbing tree. I'd forgotten about this." She glanced upward at the branches. "It's a lot bigger than I remembered."

He teased, "It's been eight years. Stuff changes."

She traced the heart with her fingers. "Yes, they do. Lots of things change, just like people." A small chuckle rose up from inside. She turned and smiled at him. "I remember the day you did this. You had just barely learned kanji and you weren't sure how to make the S, so you had me draw it out on the ground because you wanted to carve the tree yourself. You had even planned ahead because you brought your father's kunai. You made me promise not to tell so you wouldn't get into trouble."

Naruto chuckled, "I remember; my dad caught me. I never could get much past him. It was like he was always one step ahead of me my whole life."

Sakura smiled. "You said you wanted it to last forever so everyone could see it when they passed by."

Naruto leaned against the trunk and placed his fingers against the heart. "Looks like it did for the most part."

His smile faded as he reflected again of his actions at Waterfall. It still weighed heavily in his heart. Sakura, sensing his turbulent thoughts, led him over to a nearby bench and prodded him to sit with her. It took a long time, but eventually she got him to tell her what happened. It hurt her heart to see him so anguished.

"You have to find a way to let it go," she said seriously.

"I don't want to let it go, Sakura," he said angrily. "Everyone keeps telling me that. How can I do that? How can I just forget it like…like...like it was nothing?" Naruto stood up and tried to stalk away but her words stopped him.

She placed her hand comfortingly on his shoulder and said, "You don't have to forget it, but you need to forgive yourself. There was absolutely no way you could have known what was going to happen."

"I should have known."

"You couldn't have known, Naruto; stop blaming yourself."

"It's my fault. It's all my fault. We should have protected them," he told her, trying in vain to keep his anger white hot. "It was our responsibility to keep them safe. We shouldn't have let Suien live."

Internally, Sakura was beyond angry with her friend for punishing himself for something he had no control over. She wanted to shake some sense into him, but knew it wouldn't do any good. She said calmly, "If you say so, I'm sure you're right."

"I was responsible for the villagers."

"Whatever you say."

"If I had been smarter, they would still be alive."

"Whatever."

"They're on my conscience."

"Fine with me."

"I'm responsible."

"And I'm sure you'll rot in hell for it."

He couldn't help it; he laughed. The laughter was dark, and for a moment he was afraid in was going to turn into tears for the villagers, but she was not about to let that happen.

She said, "Sit in eternity in a pit of chunky, slimy dog vomit, if that's what you think you deserve."

Though Naruto wanted to keep his rage at full blaze, it was decreasing little by little. His happy-go-lucky nature made it hard to stay negative for too long. He glanced at her and laughed harder.

She said, "You're such a bad guy, you'll have to eat maggots and drink demon bile for, oh, maybe a thousand years…"

"I hate demon bile…"

She was laughing, too; "…and for sure, you'll have to let the Shinigami himself give you a full exam, you know…turn your head and cough…"

"…or be forced to watch Ino flirt with Sai…"

"Oh no," she laughed, "Even hell has its limits."

They were both howling now, letting off steam, and the laughter didn't fade for a long while. When the silence finally settled between them, Sakura was the first to break it; "You okay?"

"I feel rotten."

"But better?"

"A little. Everyone wants to talk about it, but it hurts too much."

"You'll be okay."

He said, "I will be, I guess."

"Of course, you will. After everything's said and done, maybe that's the real bad part. Genma Sensei once told my team that somehow we grow scabs over all the hurts and losses, even the worst ones, deepest ones. He said we go on, and nothing hurts forever, though sometimes it feels like it should."

"My Uncle Gen is smart."

"Yeah, he really is."

"Haruno?" he asked.

"Yeah?"

"I like you."

"Who doesn't?"

"I mean it."

"Well, I like you too, Uzumaki."

"Just thought I'd say it."

"Glad you did." A small smile graced her face.

"Doesn't mean we're going steady or anything, although…well… I mean… you know…if you want…"

Sakura lightly punched him on the arm. "You're still such a baka," she teased him affectionately. "Some things never change do they? I'm too young to be dating anyone. Anko Sensei said that a kunoichi should focus on her career before boys if she ever wants to be taken seriously. I want to be great like her."

"Yeah, I get it. She was a pretty awesome kunoichi before she turned into a puking, drooling, farting, burping, urine soaked mother-to-be!"

Sakura laughed so hard she fell of the bench. When she could finally breathe again, she said, "I am so going to tell her you said that!"

"Wait, NO! I was just kidding," he yelled with a panicked look on his face.

~~Sasuke's Sorrow ~~

Sasuke sat in his room, deep in meditation. After the euphoria of finally being home wore off, his thoughts were of Fū and the other villagers at Waterfall. So many feelings of regret and guilt plagued him about the things he did and didn't say and do. Mostly, he still felt guilty for not doing something to prevent the deaths, even though he knew there was nothing more he could have done.

Anger and resentment bubbled in his chest, preventing him from being able to fully concentrate. He jerked himself up and moved to grab his weapon's pouch so that he could go train. Itachi's cool voice stopped him.

"Wallowing in self-pity again, little brother?"

"I'm not wallowing in anything. What do you want?"

"I want you to stop this self-indulgent belief that your life is harder and sadder than everyone else's."

A wave of hurt and betrayal rushed over him at his harsh words. He snapped, "I don't believe that."

"Then prove it… talk to us. We are your family; we love you."

Sasuke stiffly replied, "There's nothing to talk about. Leave me alone."

"I cannot do that. You are hurting and it's hurting our mother and me in return."

"Everyone needs to just leave me alone. I don't want to talk. Talk is stupid. It won't make them any less dead, it won't change anything that happened."

"You need to stop blaming yourself."

"This is stupid."

"Yes, blaming yourself for what you couldn't have prevented is stupid."

"I don't blame myself anymore, not really." Sasuke sat heavily on his bed and sighed. "Jiraiya made the three of us understand that. But…"

"But what?"

"But I want to destroy that man!" he yelled, "I want him to pay for what he did…to suffer…to die!"

"Is that what you really want?"

"Yes. The people of Waterfall deserve justice. It's all I can think of, all I can dream of; getting stronger and killing him."

"Is it justice you truly want for them or revenge?"

Sasuke ignored the question and studied Itachi in the dim light of his bedroom. "It comes easy to you... doesn't it?"

"What?"

"Killing."

"It just comes. Easy has nothing to do with it." He sat down next to Sasuke and said quietly, "I take no pleasure in killing. I know I've done more than my share. I am a shinobi. My soul is bathed in a river of blood. The only thing that could wash it clean is peace."

"Hn."

"If you could kill Orochimaru, do you believe it would bring you peace? Would it bring them all back?"

"No. I know that."

"The desire for revenge is the kind of evil that resides in all of us, makes us greedy, uncaring; the kind of evil that will wipe us out, in the end unless we stand up against it."

"Stand up?" he asked in disbelief, "Are you saying I should just forgive him for what he did?"

"No little brother. I know Orochimaru's time will come and he will surely die. Until that time comes, remember that old saying: When you begin a journey of revenge, start by digging two graves: one for your enemy, and one for yourself."

They sat side by side for a long time saying nothing until finally, Sasuke said in a low pain-filled voice, "I wish you could have met Fū. You would have liked her…"

~Sai's Epiphany~

Sai wandered through the market, immersing himself in the sounds of people living their lives in peaceful harmony. 'What if' questions kept plaguing him. What if he had asserted himself? What if they had arrived sooner? What if they had arrived later? Would it have been possible to prevent the massacre?

With all the disquieting thoughts in his mind, he didn't see the girl. His hands shot out to grab her before she could fall to the ground.

"Watch where you're going," Ino snapped. She glared up at the offending person and then, seeing who it was, flushed brick red. "You…! What are you trying to do, cop a feel?!" He opened his mouth to respond, but she cut him off before he could say anything, "And don't you dare give me one of your disgusting perverted comments or I'll knock you into next week!"

His hands dropped back to his side and he gave her a small polite bow. "My deepest apologies Ino Yamanaka, I am afraid I was not paying attention to where I was going. I did not intend any harm."

Sai's stiff, formal apology drained Ino's anger and left her feeling foolish for thinking the worst of him. She felt her blush creep up to her ears. "Um, no I'm the one who should be apologizing. I'm sorry for yelling at you." Although he easily accepted her apology, she still felt a little bad. He looked so distracted and she couldn't help but wonder what was bothering him. Still feeling a little ad for yelling at him, she sighed and gently grabbed his arm. "Come on," she said, "Let me buy you a drink from that cart over there." She pointed towards a small food cart that sat near a shaded grassy area…the perfect place to get him to talk to her.

"That really is not necessary Ino Yamanaka…"

"Sai, it would make me happy and it would be rude of you to say no."

"Very well, I have no desire to be disrespectful. I accept your proposal." He glanced down curiously as she moved her hand to grab his and led him to the cart. He pictured the books on friendship that he had read and the more recent ones that Jiraiya had given him. "Is she interested in pursuing a friendship or something else? What is expected of me?"

He had no idea what he should do. Wanting clarification, he asked, "Are you holding my hand because you desire physical contact or because you believed I would not have been capable of locating the stand without your assistance?"

Studiously watching her reactions, he noted blood rushing to her face and the fact that she dropped his hand quickly.

"I…I do not desire physical contact with you Sai," she groaned, "I was just being friendly."

"Ah friendly…I understand. You wish to be friendly with me. Very well, I can do that." He accepted the drink she had held out and then thinking hard, he took her hand. "Is this what is required of me?"

"Uh…not really. Let's just go sit down under that tree and you can tell me what's really bothering you."

He didn't release her hand until they reached the shady space. Once they both were settled, he turned to her and gave a false smile. "Why do you think I need to talk?"

"I don't know. It just seems like something is bugging you." She put her hand on his shoulder in a friendly show of comfort. "I can help you if you want."

The 'How to win friends' book said that when a person touches you, they are trying to give comfort, but that other book Jiraiya gave me said that when a female touches you, she is signifying a desire to engage in romantic relations.

Sai's face turned an interesting shade of red. Ino looked strangely at him.

Kiba is engaged and he and I are the same age. He claimed that I should know how to kiss already. I wonder if I should kiss her. Is that what I am expected to do?

Sai's face turned even redder. He closed his eyes and contemplated moving closer to Ino.

"Sai…? Sai…? Earth to Sai…"

"Hmm… what?" he asked, jerking himself out of his stupor. "Sorry, I was wondering if I should kiss you or not."

"What?!" Ino shrieked, her entire face flushing a brilliant red. "Why the hell do you think I would ever let you kiss me?"

"The books I've read say that when a female touches you, she desires you and likes it when you kiss her."

Ino gaped at him and snapped her mouth shut with a scowl. "Look pervert, just because I was trying to make you feel better when you looked upset does NOT mean I like you! Sorry for the misunderstanding, but for Kami's sake, don't think everything's like it is in a book. You can't learn how to dissect anybody's feelings, much less a mature woman like me, with words on paper!" She abruptly stood up, and with one last scathing glare over her shoulder, she stalked off.

Sai sighed. He really wished there was a book that would adequately explain people's swinging moods and emotions. But no, that'd be far to easy and convenient for his messed up life, Sai thought darkly. A shadow fell over him and he looked up to see Anko standing above him. "Mother, do you require something?"

"Do I require…what?! For the love of Kami, don't act all stiff and polite with me boy. Who is the person who bathed you when you were sick?"

"You did."

"And who was the person who tucked you in bed at night?"

"You did."

"And who was the person who bandaged all your wounds, hugged you when you had nightmares, and let you play with all her sharp pointy things?"

"You and father did."

"You're damn right, so don't you dare act all stiff and polite with me. You're acting as you did when you were little and I don't like it. Keeping secrets from your family is a stupid thing to do," she growled, "Now spill."

"Would it have been possible for me to have prevented the massacre?"

"No, shit just sometimes happens."

Sai sighed, unsure if that was the answer he was looking for. He shrugged and shoved it in the back of his mind, deciding to focus on a much more confusing issue. "Does a girl like you if she holds your hand?"

Anko blinked and then grinned wide. "Yeah son, a girl definitely likes you if she holds your hand."

AN:

Thanks to everyone who has favorited/followed/commented on this story! I am working on a future chapter of 'D' rank missions. I have a few ideas, but what I really want to do is a really good Tora mission...I mean, come on - they have to do Tora. Only problem...I'm stumped. If anyone has any ideas I can run with, please send me a pm.

Thanks to my guest reviewers, ZeeCaptein, stephanie, Raiu of Kumo, Gamma89, and unnamed guests

Ja Ne,

AZFAERYDUST